Conference terri::cars_uk

	That's a reasonable judgement in some cases I suppose Dougie. Or
	perhaps, if they are proud parents, it could be a sign indicating
	"smugness and one-upmanship", rather like car advertisers perhaps :-)

	Gordon

That's a thought. Maybe they don't actually have any kids. If you do a straw
poll, you'll find that 70%+ of these bloody cars don't have any kids in
them. Its all very peculiar.

Dougie

I'm thinking of getting an 
	I'VE GOT THE POPULATION OF CHINA DOWN MY TROUSERS
badge.

    Why do people feel the need to have a sign like that anyway? 
    (ignoring the fact that these people are some of the worst on the 
    road for lane courtesy and tail-hogging) "Good Lord, that car has no 
    child in the back - let's smash into the back of him". 
    
    It *might* say "Child on Board", but on the other hand it might just 
    say "SDP". Either way, you end up too close looking! ;*))
    
    C*)arl
    
    
    

    
    I think it was on a Jasper Carrot show that he suggested that this was
    some kind of fertility symbol.  He went to great lengths explaining
    that the purpose of this sticker was to let all other road users know
    that the owner was not a virgin !!  The sticker was used as a
    replacement for that beloved TURBO marking for which the owner longed
    on the back of his h-hatch but needed a family saloon due to his much
    publicised virility............
    
    
    Nev  ;-)

Someones personal name I saw was "Stupid Yellow Sign on Board".

I anyone gets round to manufacturing one of these I'll buy it.

Ian.

	I thought the sign was there so you could be tripply sorry for the
	person.

	Firstly they have to choose the car for it's boot size and ability to
	carry a baby seat.

	Then, they are all fairly bad drivers,

	And to cap it all, they've been burdend with at least one child.


	I feel very sorry for them indeed, and I am very happy not to have to
	display one of these myself.

	Heather
	

	I think for likes of us Heather, brought up with "turbo apple juice"
	perhaps the sticker 

	BOTTLE ON BOARD

	might be more appropriate :-}


	Gordon

    
    Got to agree wholeheartedly with this one, do these people really
    think them having children on board will be prevent me from barging
    them off the road? They'd better think again! :^)
    
    Mark
    

Hey - I said that rude word in another conference and got moderated! You 
can't say bastard on a notesfile - you just wait and see...

Dougie

(But MJ is out of the office for a day or two ...)

    
    Based on empirical evidence, I'd always assumed "Child on board"
    stickers referred to the driver.

    ...> Based on empirical evidence, I'd always assumed "Child on board"
    ...> stickers referred to the driver.
    
    Nah you've got the wrong badge -- I thought that driving inability was 
    denoted by the 'XR3' badge ;-) 

    
    "Caution-Child on board" is bad but it doesn`t make my blood boil
    as bad as "Caution-Show dogs in transit"
    
    THAT ONE MAKES ME SOOOOOOOO ANGRY  !!!!!!!!!!!!

	Why???

    I don't like the one that says "I slow down for horses" because it
    always seems to imply "....and you don't". Why not just say "Please
    slow down for horses"?

    My personal hate is 'My other car's a Porsche"
                                          Ferrari"
                                          Rolls-Royce"
                                          etc, etc"
    
    Always wanted to write underneath,
          "...then why are you driving this pile of junk ?"
    
    AMS

    And the *other* one I hate is the one they stick on the side of
    the car with
                   POLICE
                              on it.
    
    
    
    AMS-who-wishes-the-red-sierra-had-had-one

judging by the response I suppose its conceivable that the CHILD ON BOARD
sticker makes No Difference Whatsoever.

Does anyone know of anyone who DOES think, "Gosh, there's an ipsy bibsy baby
in that car - I'll be especially careful"

I fancy a "PISSED AS A NEWT. PLEASE GIVES ME TONS OF ROOM" one.

Dougie

	The other day I saw "My other car is a Porsche" in a Testarossa.
	Pathetic.

	I still don't understand the "dogs" one...

	I did see one amusing little item... on the rear shelf of a Cortina or
	something, a doll nailed to a plank of wood. The sign? Baby on board.

    
    
    
    My all-time favourite.....  on a Porsche...
    
    
    "This IS my other car."
    
    Subtle.
    
    

    What about the "... do it ... " stickers?
    
    Like ... divers do it deeper
    		glider pilots do it quietly
    		DECCies do it in bits
    
    ... anyone seen any really good ones?
    Pal

Or is this one a request to drive into the back of the other car?

    
    "Caution-Show dogs in transit"
    
    Well personally I don`t give a sh*t whether your dog is in the car!
    What difference should your canine hobby have to my driving technique??
    
                                                            Dougie
                                                            

	Re show dogs...

	I suppose on seeing the sticker you're supposed to back off
	and be humble in the presence of such important people who
	take dogs to shows in their car... personally, I think a sign
	like "loaded 12-bore across driver's lap" might make me back
	off a bit more...

	I'm going to have a sign made for my Range Rover that says
	"Two tons of solid steel, total idiot at the wheel".

	It even rhymes ;-)

	Jonathan.

    

      Re .24 

    
�    "Caution-Show Dogs in Transit"
    

    

reality is for people that can't handle drugs

    re.22
    
    I have seen a good bumper sticker in a magazine (My personal name
    above).
    
    Grant

    RE.24
    
    	Dougie....
    		  What driving Technique ?????????????????????
    
    
    							Gedo.

  



              "CAUTION - Woman driver"       *   *
                                               |
                                              \_/

    
    
    What have you got against Women drivers, they are just like any other
    normal psychopath....
    
    Steve

    
    Could it be that people with tatty bangers and 'My other car is a
    Porsche' sticker are driving the old banger because of other driver's
    jealousy of their Porsches?
    
    Mark (My_other_car_is_payed_for!)
    
    PS I like the 'The car is payed for, but the petrol is on HP!' sticker.
    
    
    

My other car is a batmobile seems to be getting popular. I hate the "do it" 
ones. And I especially HATE the half a cat in the radiator grille, or the
hands on the boot and that moony one.

Another thing I hate are those brake lights in the back window - and Volvos
that always have their lights on.


Ian

    My favourite is from the VIZ magazine... Its like a stuffed doll of a
    baby with his hands which you put in between the top of the window and
    the frame. The babies face is of sheer agony and stamped
    on his shirt says "Baby ON Board"... I saw one on someones car the other
    day they look quite effective !!
    
    I saw the worst the other day a guy driving a Porsche with the standard
    "my other car is a Porsche" but he'd crossed out the "OTHER".. What a
    Big Head... Mind you full marks for his observation !
    
    Regards
    
    Jon
    
    

    I STILL DON'T THINK YOU CAN BEAT THE FURRY DICE DANGLING FROM THE
    MIRROR !!! ALONG WITH THE DIRTY, DUSTY GARTER !!

My other car is a piece of sh*t, too.

-Al

re .36

"I know where my CAPS-LOCK is"??

;^))

Greg

  Re .5  It is spelt Hara (stomach) kiri (cut).

  Re .8  Don't feel tooooo sorry for us Heather.


   On the whole I agree entirely about the subject of this discussion.  They
   do make lousy drivers and I came to that conclusion before this conf raised
   its ugly head.

   Even worse is the guy with 'Baby on Board' sign.  When what he really means
   is 'nasty-little-infant-crawling-all-over-my head-while-I-am-driving On Board.

   Or very big Volvo drivers who have whole family (76 kids, 5 dogs and granny)
   who, probably because they are driving the safest car on the road, are total
   maniacs.

   



   GAZ  who_sometimes_has_his_baby_on_board_but_doesnt_expect_other_people_
        to_take_the_responsibility_for_it

>    What have you got against Women drivers, they are just like any other
>    normal psychopath....
    
 
	Not another person who's going to have to go around with mits on, it's
	getting boring having to keep breaking these fingers off!.


	Yup Gordon, I'll could go for the "bottle-on-board"
	or even ...........               "Scrumpy-up-chucker on board"


	and, I shall continue to feel sorry for the "baby-on-board", 'though
	I still haven't understood why I need to know this.


	Heather

perhaps people put 'baby on board' stickers on their cars to wind folk up
(probably to much greater effect than a 'turbo' or 'GTi' badge would)

...art (off on a tour of DEC sites with a prominent flourescent 'B on B' sticker

    
    
    One of the best derivatives of That Sticker was the one given to me by
    for our boat, on the occasion of my {mumble}th birthday.....
    
    
    
    	"WARNING...... SENIOR CITIZEN AT THE HELM"
    
    
    Ian

    
    Two "classic" stickers ( on the same theme ) :
        
    	"If you can read this then you're TOO close"
    	
    	"You're getting TOO close, Dickhead"

    re -1:
      
    But I only closed up so I could read the small print.

    in the back window yesterday, not "Baby on board" by "Driver on Autopilot"
    
    Martin.

    
    I believe these "Baby On Board" thingies came from the US....
    
    They are supposed to be used only when carrying a baby/toddler so that
    if/when the car is involved in an accident, the emergency services know
    that they should be looking for a small child who may have been thrown
    clear, or be crushed in the back seat etc....
    
    Makes it even more irritating when they are used when there is no child
    in the car.....just *think* of the possible wasted time !

                       <<< Note 1197.47 by CSSE::WAITE >>>
                            -< Nice idea, but..... >-

>    They are supposed to be used only when carrying a baby/toddler so that
>    if/when the car is involved in an accident, the emergency services know
>    that they should be looking for a small child who may have been thrown
>    clear, or be crushed in the back seat etc....
    
Interesting idea but me thinks you've been led down the garden path. As far
as I know, the sign were some entrepreneurs scheme dreamed up to make
lots of money.

In the US, there are signs you put in childrens bedroom windows to alert
firemen in case of a house fire. However, these are not required by any law
that I know of.

>In the US, there are signs you put in childrens bedroom windows to alert

	Leads to all kinds of possiblities doesn't it :-)

	BABY IN BED

	SIBLING IN SLUMBER

	CHILD OUT COMATOSE



	Gordon ( in Gin )

    The car sticker i liked was seen some 15 years ago on an old (then)
    Austin A40:
    
    If petrol be the fuel of love, drive on.
    
    Steve

    ... but "Mum's Taxi"
    
    (seen this morning on a mini).
    
    Martin.

	I dislike the "Baby on board" things too, come to that, I hate just
	about any car decoration (sic).  What am I supposed to do if I see
	one?  

	However, apart from my Marlin, I drive my wife's Cavalier SRi hatchback
	with my wife and son and daughter on board.  Two of these are under 3
	- guess which two.  Travelling with kids requires planning, but, I 
	assure you, doesn't neccessarily cause brain fade.  As for kids 
	jumping up and down and grabbing the cassettes - they can't, they're
	tied into nice safe car seats and don't have long enough arms to reach
	the front of the car from the back.  Plus, I have the same rules for
	kids in my car as my father had in his.  

	Dave

    Dave,
    
    Perhaps what annoys so many people about 'Baby on Board'ers is that
    they don't exhibit the same sensible precautions you do.
    
    I can well remember following a woman with a 'Give my child a chance'
    sticker whose child she was giving a chance to fly straight through
    the windscreen as it was merrily climbing around on the rear parcel
    shelf. Some people should have their driving licences taken away and
    torn up! You don't have to be drunk to be incapable of driving!
    
    Mark

    Like Dave, I wouldn't think of travelling in my car without having
    my youngster strapped into his child seat. It appals me to see so
    many cars with kids jumping around in the back, even on the motorway
    !
    
    Roy

    What really gets to me is when you see kids sitting i the front seat
    with a seat belt on that you can see is never going to do them any good
    in an accident. Also adults sitting in the front seat with the kids on
    their knees.

    Somewhile back (about 30 entries, I think) someone asked for the best
    bumper sticker they had ever seen......
    
    The one that STILL makes me chuckle (I first saw it nearly 20 years ago
    in Richmond, Virginia (The home of the Tobacco industry in the US) is:
    
    "9 out of 10 people who smoke Camels prefer tobacco"

	Now bumber stickers.................the first time I saw the
	Maryland motto on a bumper sticker, I couldn't stand up for days.




	Maryland is for Crabs



	'strue as well!


	Heather

	And another one..........




	Sundae driver.......with a picture of icecream all over a male driver



	Heaher

'hunters go deeper into the bush,
shoot more often,
then eat what they catch'



...art

    I saw one in Edinburgh which said...

    If I didn't hate car stickers so much, I would have put this one
    on a TR7 I used to have many moons ago...
    

    My fave car sticker, from before the crash (stock market, not motor
    car) was on a porsche :-
    
            My other car is up my nose

    I saw on a car this,
    
    
    	SAVE GAS, FART IN A JAR.
    
    	Now I must admit I did chuckle at that.
    
    	Garry

    and not forget the spoof for the original fiat strada advert:-
    
    
    	Build By Robot, Silenced by Laser, Driven By Moron.
    
    	what can you add to that........... it says it all.
    
    
    	Garry

>>    	Build By Robot, Silenced by Laser, Driven By Moron.

       I preferred the slightly subtler: "Driven by Italians",
       but the concept is the same.

       Ian.

       (Nice to see you still working after midnight, Gaz.)

    Re .63 (and others)
    
    How about.......
    
    "PRESERVE WILD LIFE, PICKLE A TRAFFIC WARDEN"
    
    Well, it made me chuckle!

   Or even,

   "Do you like children? Yes, but I can't eat more than one at a time!"

   tee hee hee