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Conference 7.286::humor

Title:	Humor - Read Note 2.*
Notice:	Laughter - The World's Greatest Medicine
Moderator:	TIMAMP::SULLIVAN

Created:	Fri Oct 20 1989
Last Modified:	Tue Jun 03 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	947
Total number of notes:	13381

9.0. "Kids Say/Do the Darndest Things" by --UnknownUser-- () Wed Oct 25 1989 06:27

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
9.1	MIKE'S ANTATICS	34320::RODRIGUEZ		`Fri Oct 27 1989 13:22`	11
9.2	BOY WILL BE BOYS	34320::RODRIGUEZ		`Fri Oct 27 1989 13:29`	10
9.3	More things kids say!!!!	7413::RENE	LIFE -- It's a juggle out there	`Fri Oct 27 1989 13:37`	145
9.5		42448::BURNM	Hail! He-men three! My dear Watson!	`Tue Dec 19 1989 10:02`	13
9.6	"Daddy, is a phaser like a flashlight?"	2346::RALTO	Pee Wee & Miss Yvonne Secretly Wed	`Thu Dec 21 1989 08:53`	29
9.7	Kids in Church	16821::JEFFREY	He's dead, Jim	`Thu Dec 21 1989 09:51`	39
9.9		16821::MATTSON	It's always something!	`Fri Dec 22 1989 08:55`	6
9.10		16821::MATTSON	It's always something!	`Fri Dec 22 1989 08:56`	5
9.12	The Birds 'n the Bees ??	COPCLU::GEOFFREY	RUMMEL - The Forgotten American	`Wed Dec 27 1989 01:04`	9
9.13	"EYE SAY!"	DECXPS::DEVILLER	Welcome to HISTORIC Boston Garden	`Wed Dec 27 1989 10:58`	8
9.14	Jesse James' other brother	TROA02::DLOTEN	Semper ubi sub ubi.	`Thu Jan 04 1990 09:57`	11
9.15	Grown ups, too!	ASHBY::BEFUMO	Between nothingness & eternity	`Thu Jan 04 1990 11:10`	6
9.18	More memories	52301::BIJAOUI	Banal comme un clown triste	`Fri Jan 05 1990 09:34`	6
9.20	Those darned squirrels	BAGELS::SREBNICK	Bad pblm now? Wait 'til we solve it!	`Mon Jan 08 1990 11:03`	23
9.21	Keeping it REAL casual	COOKIE::MJOHNSTON	With a sheep under each arm!	`Wed Jan 10 1990 12:22`	18
9.22	CAN IT?????	GENRAL::HUNTER	from SUNNY Colorado, Wayne	`Mon Jan 15 1990 13:55`	15
9.24	USUALLY, IF YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING TOO HARD	GENRAL::HUNTER	from SUNNY Colorado, Wayne	`Tue Jan 16 1990 12:31`	26
9.25	maybe it was a stage I went thru?	CSCOA5::HUFFSTETLER	Reckless Abandoner	`Tue Jan 16 1990 14:44`	26
9.26	Phoque <> F**k	KAOA01::LAPLANTE		`Thu Jan 18 1990 11:29`	24
9.27	two tiny tot tales	WLDWST::KING	INVEST IN YOURSELF	`Sat Jan 20 1990 07:33`	18
9.28	Kerpow!	DPDSAL::JEFFREY	Bargain Brand Beer Buyin' Blues	`Mon Jan 22 1990 07:52`	17
9.29	DID YOU SAY MEDICINE	CISM::MORAN	When Money Speaks The Truth is?	`Mon Jan 22 1990 14:09`	22
9.30	What is it?	RDGENG::ACLARKSON		`Tue Jan 23 1990 02:52`	13
9.31	ex	GENRAL::HUNTER	from SUNNY Colorado, Wayne	`Tue Jan 23 1990 13:50`	11
9.32		ROYALT::MORRISSEY	Dezyne Addict	`Wed Jan 24 1990 10:58`	19
9.33	Do kids have survival instincts?	STAR::GRIFFIN		`Thu Jan 25 1990 10:58`	26
9.34	I'VE GOT A DRY IDEA!!\	GENRAL::HUNTER	from SUNNY Colorado, Wayne	`Fri Jan 26 1990 06:56`	14
9.40	Kids for rent reallll cheap will pay	CASPRO::SULLIVAN	THINK_LOLLIPOPS_CHARMS_ARE_BEST	`Sat Feb 03 1990 16:56`	35
9.38		36912::JACOB	Go backoff in your own jack yard	`Mon Feb 05 1990 09:49`	24
9.43	Wise Guys	BOSOX::TIMMONS	I'm a Pepere!	`Wed Feb 07 1990 04:37`	14
9.44	Minister's get crabby too!	CAM::MILLER	Lightness has a call that's hard to hear	`Wed Feb 07 1990 06:10`	4
9.45	Portable Cribs...Doncha love 'em	CASPRO::SULLIVAN	PLEASE_PASS_THE_DIET_COKE	`Wed Feb 07 1990 09:29`	33
9.46	the innocence of it all...	LINNHE::SYSTEM		`Thu Feb 08 1990 00:41`	25
9.47		CURIE::TOBIN		`Tue Feb 13 1990 09:45`	18
9.48	Which way in	HYEND::BRENNA	Hickory dickory dock....	`Wed Feb 14 1990 00:04`	13
9.49		IMZADI::KISER	Cash Talks, Credit Echos.	`Wed Feb 14 1990 06:31`	3
9.50	Witches' Brew	CURIE::TOBIN		`Wed Feb 14 1990 06:45`	25
9.51	A new phone reply	GENRAL::HUNTER	from SUNNY Colorado, Wayne	`Tue Feb 27 1990 09:44`	7
9.52	Duh...um...er	DONVAN::T_THEO	My cup is half full	`Wed Feb 28 1990 08:19`	24
9.53	Another phone answering technique...	FDCV07::LEBLANC	Ruth E. LeBlanc	`Wed Mar 21 1990 13:42`	9
9.54		WMOIS::HOLEWA	And then, the cook was goosed.	`Thu Mar 22 1990 08:54`	12
9.55		FEATHR::BLUEJAY	aaaaaayyaayayyyyy!!	`Thu Mar 22 1990 10:16`	3
9.56		HANNAH::OSMAN	see HANNAH::IGLOO$:[OSMAN]ERIC.VT240	`Thu Mar 22 1990 14:40`	7
9.57		BUOVAX::SAPP	Procrastinate soon.	`Thu Mar 22 1990 17:48`	5
9.58		PFSVAX::JACOB	Chuck U. Farley	`Fri Mar 23 1990 10:39`	6
9.59	Beware little Rhymin'-Simon's!	DDIF::RALTO	Robbie & Robot Secretly Wed	`Fri Mar 23 1990 11:13`	68
9.60	Cluck Cluck	OFFPLS::STOWELL		`Fri Mar 23 1990 11:14`	7
9.61	Granny	MUSKIE::SULLIVAN	Surrounded by the Competition,IBM	`Fri Mar 23 1990 15:10`	14
9.62		BTOVT::BROWN_J		`Mon Mar 26 1990 05:01`	6
9.64		ESCROW::KILGORE	Wild Bill	`Wed Apr 04 1990 09:21`	15
9.65		ESCROW::KILGORE	Wild Bill	`Wed Apr 04 1990 09:29`	15
9.66	is this pie occupued?yes, may I sew U to another sheet	HANNAH::OSMAN	see HANNAH::IGLOO$:[OSMAN]ERIC.VT240	`Wed Apr 04 1990 15:05`	10
9.67	still laughing	WLDWST::GRIBBEN	Living in the Wild Wild West	`Wed Apr 11 1990 17:18`	23
9.68	Raise your voices in song....but not too loud!!	SCOVAX::DUPLESSIS		`Mon Apr 23 1990 12:59`	28
9.69	Brother's Answer	PENUTS::MADAVIS		`Wed Apr 25 1990 13:42`	6
9.70	A classic ...	CIMNET::TOBIN_D		`Wed Apr 25 1990 14:42`	7
9.71	Like Mother, Like Daughter	SERPNT::SONTAKKE	Vikas Sontakke	`Thu Apr 26 1990 06:31`	25
9.72	Cristmas tale...	VAXRIO::CAMACHO	NWSS - Brazil	`Mon May 07 1990 07:16`	13
9.73	Is this kids or embarassing moments?	CLARID::SLOMAN	the abominable	`Mon May 07 1990 09:05`	19
9.74	:-) :-) :-)	MACNAS::DKEATING	Celibacy is NOT Hereditary!	`Mon May 07 1990 09:29`	12
9.75	Peeping Tom	VAXRIO::CAMACHO	NWSS - Brazil	`Mon May 07 1990 13:19`	6
9.76	Sweaty	DASXPS::TIMMONS	I'm a Pepere!	`Tue May 08 1990 04:53`	11
9.77	Of course, mommy's a girl too !	GIAMEM::ALLAIN		`Fri May 11 1990 13:21`	13
9.78	Smelly s*ituation!!!!!!!!	MACNAS::MFLANNERY		`Tue May 15 1990 03:14`	23
9.79	Reality is cruel	ILOV14::PATTISON	A rolling stone gets the worm	`Wed May 30 1990 11:46`	10
9.80	I'm gonna kill her!	SNDCSL::BLEIWAS	Faulk in Athol	`Tue Jun 05 1990 11:50`	15
9.81		MANIOK::WRIGLEY	Empty pages and a worthless pen	`Wed Jun 06 1990 08:56`	10
9.82	Breakfast, anyone ?	PENUTS::PGILBERTI	Paul Gilberti	`Mon Jun 11 1990 10:49`	8
9.84	Two innocent and true stories	DDIF::RALTO	Read Bush's lips on both his faces	`Mon Jul 09 1990 14:29`	28
9.85	Doing just what they're told.....	MCIS2::POLLERT	Have you KICKED your computer today?	`Wed Aug 08 1990 12:20`	22
9.86	the lady "all" red	MEMIT::GEORGE		`Fri Aug 10 1990 11:41`	14
9.87	Sporting Priest	ESSB::DEARLY	Kilroy left a message for you	`Tue Aug 21 1990 05:59`	5
9.88	Kids are sharper than adults...	KHAN::SELBY	The Simpson's vs. Cosby...	`Fri Aug 24 1990 09:12`	10
9.89	'nother kid/church story	TROA09::PILGRIM	SHUT UP THAT BLOODY BAZOOKI MUSIC !!!	`Tue Sep 04 1990 12:54`	8
9.90	Kid in a supermarket	MVDS00::GOETZ		`Tue Aug 27 1991 13:31`	10
9.91	Here's another one.	WARHED::ROUGHSEDGE	and a bag of gravel	`Mon Sep 23 1991 08:38`	11
9.92	just way too funny	19119::JANDROW		`Sun Oct 13 1991 13:01`	26
9.93		JUPITR::FEE	Singing songs of shady sisters...	`Tue Oct 15 1991 12:21`	35
9.94	Even kids know prayers work !!	CSC32::M_POTTER		`Tue Oct 22 1991 10:36`	25
9.95		ESKIMO::FBUTLER		`Mon Oct 28 1991 19:23`	16
9.96	So that's how it's done!	JDUFFY::DTOBIN		`Tue Nov 19 1991 08:35`	30
9.97		LITE::J_OPPELT	Deacon Blues	`Tue Nov 19 1991 12:19`	9
9.98	WHY WE SAY THE BLESSING BEFORE WE EAT?	RAVEN1::BARTON		`Fri Nov 22 1991 21:16`	11
9.99	Kids!	CSC32::R_WEBB	RAIDERS FAN	`Mon Nov 25 1991 15:32`	10
9.100	Brothers	TECA17::COGHILL	Steve Coghill, Luke 14:28	`Tue Nov 26 1991 12:46`	7
9.101	we've got premature senility	PASTIS::MONAHAN	humanity is a trojan horse	`Tue Nov 26 1991 15:58`	12
9.102	Cheeky!	KERNEL::CLATWORTHY		`Wed Nov 27 1991 03:00`	14
9.103	Christmas joke	TROOA::LEVENS		`Fri Nov 29 1991 09:42`	9
9.104		HAMMAR::RAUH	Home of The Cruel Spa	`Tue Dec 17 1991 14:12`	17
9.105	Secret Admirer	JDUFFY::DTOBIN		`Thu Dec 19 1991 06:16`	16
9.106	Kids Bath	DENVER::TILLISON		`Thu Apr 30 1992 10:29`	9
9.107	The renamed Puppy	OFFPLS::GRAY		`Mon May 11 1992 11:00`	3
9.108	ex	XAXXON::BUTTON	be EXCELLENT to each other....	`Mon May 11 1992 14:35`	45
9.110	They're not as stupid as we look	58633::POECHMAN	Poecher	`Mon Jul 20 1992 14:52`	13
9.111	Logic	52668::LAMIROY_B		`Wed Jul 22 1992 03:05`	8
9.112	Much Hilarity!!	44234::ELOVE	I`m a LARKY Celtic Man!!	`Mon Aug 10 1992 09:10`	12
9.113	Literary Allusions	56517::MOHN	blank space intentionally filled	`Thu Aug 13 1992 11:21`	10
9.115	Isn't it obvious?	KAOA12::SMELLIE		`Wed Dec 02 1992 09:43`	22
9.116	schoolteacher1	SUBURB::BENNETTP		`Tue Feb 02 1993 09:10`	17
9.117	schoolteacher2	SUBURB::BENNETTP		`Tue Feb 02 1993 09:15`	13
9.118	Along the same lines as .116......	GAVEL::JANDROW	Thank god for shoulder pads...... :>	`Tue Feb 02 1993 12:15`	15
9.125	CUTE	KARHU::PARENT	without kids!!	`Wed Feb 10 1993 14:15`	20
9.126		JGODCL::NOORDIJK	nanoo nanoo	`Mon Feb 22 1993 07:39`	12
9.127	Jack and Jill	LUNER::CIDADO		`Mon May 03 1993 17:00`	13
9.131	I was at an orgy	BUSY::RMONTAGUE		`Fri May 21 1993 17:21`	10
9.132	My personal Ren and Stimpy show	DYPSS1::COGHILL	Steve Coghill, Luke 14:28	`Mon May 24 1993 17:04`	33
9.134	I am SO proud to call him "MINE"	LEVERS::WOODFORD	TREE CAR	`Mon Jun 14 1993 16:16`	34
9.140	corner!!	CSC32::M_MASTIN		`Fri Jun 18 1993 16:20`	9
9.148		SAHQ::LUBER	Fire Cox, Trade Justice, Bring up Lopez	`Fri Aug 06 1993 15:25`	11
9.149	Learning to spell	HERIAM::DOBIAS	ANDREA DOBIAS	`Mon Aug 09 1993 13:35`	12
9.150		2838::KILGORE	Adiposilly challenged	`Fri Sep 03 1993 13:59`	20
9.151	...and don't listen to your elders	48762::SLOMAN		`Fri Sep 10 1993 09:57`	18
9.152	Now he needs to lift the seat	5950::CIDADO		`Tue Sep 14 1993 23:45`	10
9.154	smell like hell	49355::SYSMAN	Dirk Van de moortel	`Wed Sep 15 1993 12:21`	14
9.155	never too young for 14k...	21752::LBERMAN		`Fri Sep 17 1993 17:30`	17
9.156	a matter of interpretation or imagination?	17318::LEWIS		`Wed Nov 24 1993 15:01`	18
9.157	making friends........	BUSY::JWHITTEMORE	Carp Perdiem	`Wed Nov 24 1993 15:39`	11
9.158		56504::WOODFORD	My fantasy becomes your reality! :(	`Mon Nov 29 1993 07:17`	11
9.159	paraphrased, but the meaning is still there...	57742::JANDROW	Green-Eyed Lady.....	`Tue Dec 07 1993 12:35`	10
9.160		33816::JEFFREYM	One Wish	`Wed Dec 15 1993 13:47`	15
9.161	who could imagine.......	BUSY::JWHITTEMORE	Carp Perdiem	`Tue Dec 21 1993 13:34`	22
9.162		56504::WOODFORD	Mother Therasa, at your service	`Tue Dec 21 1993 15:57`	12
9.163	Property Laws Of a Toddler (author unknown)	29067::LUFF	I am Haunted by the Water	`Tue Dec 28 1993 12:50`	21
9.165		2336::FARINA		`Fri Jan 07 1994 13:34`	24
9.166	Nooooo, but I'll give you a ride in your sled!	2524::RALTO		`Sun Jan 09 1994 22:16`	4
9.167		51339::NOORDIJK	miss t-time!!!!	`Mon Jan 10 1994 05:35`	8
9.168	LIVINVG UP TO MOM'S EXPECTATIONS	33972::HILLIARD		`Thu Mar 10 1994 13:47`	4
9.169	small person, BIG mouth	3324::GREENWOOD_C		`Fri Mar 11 1994 12:55`	13
9.170		39540::WELLCOME	Steve Wellcome MRO1-1/KL31 Pole HJ33	`Tue Mar 22 1994 08:59`	15
9.172	Follow up: An engineer, chemist, and economist	5479::GILBERT		`Wed Mar 23 1994 10:10`	58
9.173		56504::WOODFORD	IsThatReallyBetsyRoss'MiddleName?	`Tue Mar 29 1994 14:47`	254
9.174	Things people say to kids...	OTOU20::POND		`Mon Jun 06 1994 14:11`	13
9.175	Anybody know the xxxxxx word?	ELIS::BOEREN	I aim to please. Then I fire!	`Wed Jun 08 1994 09:26`	6
9.177		DELNI::DISMUKE		`Thu Jun 09 1994 10:48`	15
9.178	I heard a 12 year old say this one! ;-)	JGODCL::NOORDIJK	anyone wanna carry my bag?	`Wed Jun 15 1994 09:17`	10
9.179	Repeat as needed	TLE::RALTO	It's all part of the show!	`Wed Jun 15 1994 23:14`	10
9.180	I want to hear it anyway...	SMAUG::WADDINGTON	Brother, can you paradigm?	`Thu Jun 16 1994 00:12`	3
9.181		METALX::SWANSON	Ride The Lightning	`Wed Oct 19 1994 22:21`	14
9.182	Out of mouths of babes!	HOTLNE::GRILLO		`Mon Feb 06 1995 08:43`	30
9.183	WRONG FEET	POLAR::WHITEI		`Mon May 22 1995 14:31`	11
9.184	GOD'S FIRST NAME	POLAR::WHITEI		`Mon May 22 1995 14:34`	9
9.185	young science	DPE1::ARMSTRONG		`Thu Jun 15 1995 17:22`	122
9.186	But we have...	KAHALA::BURKHARDT		`Fri Jun 23 1995 16:33`	24
9.187	Not my son, but still amusing	SPSEG::COVINGTON		`Thu Jul 13 1995 15:00`	32
9.193	What colour is that man ?	BRADOR::ZUFELT	V12 @17.5K music to my ears	`Fri Jul 14 1995 16:53`	16
9.196	He's a Comedian!	ROMEOS::COSTELLO		`Tue Jul 18 1995 18:42`	17
9.197	oil crisis	CSSREG::BROWN	Just Visiting This Planet	`Wed Jul 19 1995 09:33`	15
9.198	Long-term effects of zero-G	DECWIN::RALTO	I still hate summer	`Wed Jul 19 1995 14:38`	15
9.199		DECLNE::SHEPARD	It's the Republicans' fault	`Thu Jul 20 1995 10:17`	6
9.200	see the web page (SNARF)	GUESS::DOUCETTE	More Chuck for the buck!	`Thu Jul 20 1995 14:46`	5
9.201		JULIET::COSTELLO		`Mon Nov 20 1995 10:48`	17
9.202	Lifesavers	DPE1::ARMSTRONG		`Thu Feb 13 1997 13:30`	18
	A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine. "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped. "I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time." Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"