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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

629.0. "Reworded parables, sayings, old saws and other stuff" by WMOIS::B_REINKE (If you are a dreamer, come in..) Thu Feb 23 1989 19:35

    Yesterday I heard this on the radio...
    
    The punctual flying feathered animal captures the
    soft bodied crawling parasite.
    
    can you rephrase this in simpler and more familiar
    terms?
    
    Bonnie
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629.1like this?LESCOM::KALLISAnger's no replacement for reason.Thu Feb 23 1989 19:479
    Re .0 (Bonnie):
    
    Well,
    
    The anticapitory avian acquires the nematode.
    
    ... has a ring to it. ;-)
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
629.2Yes! :-)WMOIS::B_REINKEIf you are a dreamer, come in..Thu Feb 23 1989 21:0112
    Steve,
    
    The radio announcer read a number of these bits. I thought
    they were really cute and wondered if other joyoflexers would
    like to try them.
    
    Here is another....
    
    A hardened mass of earthy matter rotating on its axis will be
    free of marshy substances.
    
    Bonnie
629.3... ...CSSE::CIUFFINIGod must be a Gemini...Thu Feb 23 1989 21:377
    
    My English may not be as good today as it was yesterday but I 
    believe the trasnlation for .2 is:
    
    "Some managers never get action items"  :-)
    
    jc
629.4MARVIN::KNOWLESthe teddy-bears have their nit-pickFri Feb 24 1989 14:213
    Re .2
    
    Mick Jagger has no toup�?
629.5here is the last one I heardWMOIS::B_REINKEIf you are a dreamer, come in..Fri Feb 24 1989 15:084
    When feline creatures are absent rodents are apt to engage in
    recreational activites.
    
    Bonnie
629.6here are a fewLESCOM::KALLISAnger's no replacement for reason.Fri Feb 24 1989 15:2914
    One should not place the sum of ovulation products in an unique
    wicker transporter.
    
    A superfluity of preparers of ingestibles can have a deleterious effect
    upon the quality of an aqueous solution of animal essences.
    
    Do not take an inventory of infant fowl until the successful conclusion
    of the collective incubation process.
    
    Armed conflict is homeomorphic with the regions of infernus.
    
    A dozing canine should be allowed to remain in a prone state.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
629.7NEARLY::GOODENOUGHFri Feb 24 1989 16:473
    Re: .6 I don't recognise the penultimate morphology.
    
    Jeff.
629.8Ask a silly question ...NEARLY::GOODENOUGHFri Feb 24 1989 16:5621
    Wow! that was quick!
    
> From:	LESCOM::KALLIS       24-FEB-1989 15:47:04.81
>
>    Jeff--
>    
>    Whicvh one(s)?
>    
>    Steve K.
    
    The penultimate one, as I said :-)

> From:	WMOIS::B_REINKE     24-FEB-1989 15:47:39.64
>
>    do you mean 'war is hell'?
>    
>    Bonnie
    
    Exactly.  As I surmised, but not heard of that one before.
    
    Jeff.
629.9oh, wellLESCOM::KALLISAnger's no replacement for reason.Fri Feb 24 1989 17:3313
    Re .8 (Jeff):
    
    >Exactly.  As I surmised, but not heard of that one before.
    
    "War is Hell" was attributed to General Sherman, though I don't
    doubt it's been said many times before.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
    
    P.S.:
    
    How about "An avian contained in the manual member is of equal (or
    greater) value to a brace in the shrubbery."?
629.10from a paraphrased, poor parody of an ancient adageLAMHRA::WHORLOWPrussiking up the rope of life!Sun Feb 26 1989 23:196
    G'day
    
    Tumultuous applause  causes incandescent luminosity
    
    djw
    
629.11?MARVIN::MACHINMon Feb 27 1989 12:286
    
    In consideration of waterward tractation of an equine and its
    forced imbibery thereof, the latter proposition is not possible,
    at least with reference to yourself as agent.
    
    Richard.
629.12Wrong again, right?IOSG::CARLINDick Carlin IOSGMon Feb 27 1989 12:486
    
         ____   ____
         TRUE & TRUE -/-> TRUE
    
    
    Which isn't true anyway, as any logician will tell you.
629.13Getting into the swing ...NEARLY::GOODENOUGHMon Feb 27 1989 17:005
    how about:
    
    A pre-emptive suture obviates the necessity for a nonaplicity.
    
    Superfluous self-esteem precedes a rapid loss of potential energy.
629.14From a friend in Minneapolis...VINO::MCGLINCHEYSancho! My Armor! My TECO Macros!Mon Feb 27 1989 18:269
    
    Well, ain't that just mammary glands on a small round cracker.
    
    He let the feline out of the burlap container.
    
    We're in corpulent municipality now.
    
    
    -- Glinch
629.15From when I worked on the Space Station program:ATLS15::SAKOVICH_AKeep RIGHT except to PASS!Mon Feb 27 1989 23:532
    Defecate, or perform a lateral translation normal to the waste
    management facility...
629.16BLAS03::FORBESBill Forbes - LDP EngrngTue Feb 28 1989 00:085
    Formerly, I was unable even to spell the word "enginear" correctly;
    yet now I find - much to my amazement - that it is exactly that which
    I have become!
    
    (This one could still use some work, but you get the idea...)
629.17Attributed to a divorce lawyer...BLAS03::FORBESBill Forbes - LDP EngrngTue Feb 28 1989 00:113
    "My client has been reduced to a state of such poverty that he has
    neither a vessel in which to relieve himself nor a window through
    which to cast it!"
629.18:-)WMOIS::B_REINKEIf you are a dreamer, come in..Tue Feb 28 1989 04:439
   in re the divorce lawyer...
    
    I know I've heard that one before.. from the Elizabethian
    period perhaps? 
    
    :-)
    
    Bonnie
    
629.19;-)LESCOM::KALLISAnger's no replacement for reason.Tue Feb 28 1989 14:1814
    I detect an unpleasant olfactory influence that suggests the present
    of a verminous rodent of moderate stature.
     
    I demand you provide me with a fracture.
    
    Refraining from discharging your weapons before the point at which
    their visual organs clearly reveal the region surrounding their
    irises.
    
    The rate of the passage of the hours is in no fashion affected
    by the presence or absence of any male individual.
                                                                
    
    
629.20...MARVIN::MACHINTue Feb 28 1989 18:276
    In the vicinity of waste product can be found tokens of commodity
    exchange.
    
    Time is like anything but now.
    
    
629.21RU 1 2?IOSG::CARLINDick Carlin IOSGTue Feb 28 1989 19:459
    re .16
    
    I assume everybody in DEC knows why XCON (the expert system for
    configuring Vaxes) started out life called R1.
    
    
    
    A year ago I couldn't even spell "Knowledge Engineer" but now I
    ...
629.22a few moreLESCOM::KALLISAnger's no replacement for reason.Tue Feb 28 1989 20:2428
    A minuscule increment of acquired data equates with an item of peril.
    
    The subjects trailed the one under discussion in the manner of
    immature ovines proceeding to the abattoir.
    
    It would have been better had I remained beneath the counterpane.
    
    His mental porocesses are identical with an avian of the marshes
    known for its weird cry.
    
    The subject uttered a long mournful sound identical with that uttered
    by a spirit of Gaelic folklore that voices prognostications of imminent
    departure from this vale of tears.
    
    The current thermal condition replicates that of the regions of
    infernus.
    
    The lack of thermal output equates to that of the mammary organ
    of a rider of besoms who is known as a spellcaster.
    
    This is the equivalent of toting anthracite to the minimg city upon
    the Tyne.
    
    Daily ingestion of a specific pome fruit is an effective means of
    warding off visits from medical professionals.
    
    
     
629.23No manure SherlockMISFIT::GEMMELand now here's Mac and Tosh...Tue Feb 28 1989 21:442
    Let's slice the bovine fecal matter and get to the cardiovascular
    section of the physical substance.
629.24LESCOM::KALLISAnger's no replacement for reason.Tue Feb 28 1989 22:239
    Decant petroleum upon the surface of roiled aqueous matter.
    
    A thermal condition such as might be found in an unprocessed pickle.
    
    As irrational as the mate of a vixen.
    
    As economically disadvantaged as a rodent residing in a chapel.
    
    
629.25SSDEVO::GOLDSTEINTue Feb 28 1989 23:584
    Toil, with the complete exclusion of recreation, causes even the
    young ripper to become quite uninteresting.
    
    Bernie
629.26osculate your posterior orifice adieuLAMHRA::WHORLOW1:25000 - a magic numberWed Mar 01 1989 08:074
    without detection of extra sensory deterioration there can be no
    increase in provident bounty
    
    
629.27You won't even know the real version...AYOV27::ISMITHTauro-Scatological ExpletiveWed Mar 01 1989 09:215
    An old Scottish proverb...
    
    One has need of an extended concave feeding utensil when partaking
    of victuals requiring mastication in the presence of one residing
    in the last remaining kingdom in Scotland.
629.28a guessWMOIS::B_REINKEIf you are a dreamer, come in..Wed Mar 01 1989 12:553
    in re .27
    
    something like 'he who sups with the devil must use a long spoon?'
629.29Close, but no cigar.AYOV27::ISMITHTauro-Scatological ExpletiveWed Mar 01 1989 15:0211
    Hmmm. A good guess .28, though not exactly right. To go back to .27
.27�    of victuals requiring mastication in the presence of one residing
.27�    in the last remaining kingdom in Scotland.
               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    
    This is the tricky part. The Kingdom of Fife is the only remaining
    kingdom in Scotland.  Therefore...
    
    It taks a lang spune tae sup wi' a Fifer.
    
    Ian.
629.30that's a relief...:-)WMOIS::B_REINKEIf you are a dreamer, come in..Wed Mar 01 1989 16:114
    Well, I was kind of wondering why you were implying that the devil
    lived in Scotland. :-)
    
    Bonnie
629.31lots of ladies undies inserted twixt chalice and cheekLAMHRA::WHORLOW1:25000 - a magic numberWed Mar 01 1989 22:2910
    G'day
    
    
    It's them divils in skirts.....
    
    
    which is a passing allusion to the Scots armies, I seem to recall
    
    
    derek
629.32(because I walked to work and got soaked)MARVIN::KNOWLESthe teddy-bears have their nit-pickThu Mar 02 1989 10:411
    There is precipitation if and only if there is an abundance thereof.
629.33One down, dozens to go...USIV02::CSRLCEFri Mar 03 1989 23:255
    That's an easy one...good thing, 'cause it's Friday!
    
    The early bird catches the worm.
    
    How's that??
629.34SSDEVO::GOLDSTEINFri Mar 03 1989 23:595
    Either we have a great deal more to eat than we can possibly consume
    or we experience a long-term absence of even the minimum amount
    of food required to sustain life.
    
    Bernie
629.35ULTRA::WITTENBERGSecure Systems for Insecure PeopleSat Mar 04 1989 00:084
    Careful observation   of   contemporary   phenomena  compells  the
    observation  that  neither the fastest nor those with the greatest
    strength  are  always victorious, but one must take account of the
    era and the probability of winning.
629.36SSDEVO::GOLDSTEINMon Mar 06 1989 22:304
    When progress is particularly difficult, people who have superior
    strength and unswerving determination are always motivated to action.
    
    Bernie
629.37EAGLE1::EGGERSTom, VAX & MIPS architectureTue Mar 07 1989 01:163
    When progress is particularly difficult, people who have superior
    intellect and perspicacity always endeavor to implement alternative
    methods less subject to the difficulty. 
629.38AITG::DERAMODaniel V. {AITG,ZFC}:: D'EramoTue Mar 07 1989 02:565
    When progress is particularly difficult, people who have superior
    strength and unswerving determination are always motivated to examine
    and select merchandise for purchase.

    Dan
629.39IJSAPL::ELSENAARFractal of the universeTue Mar 07 1989 11:075
..and at this very instant, let's partake in an activity that is totally unlike
the previous one.

Arie
629.40Go on - set THAT to music!NEARLY::GOODENOUGHTue Mar 07 1989 12:444
    There is no commercial or mercantile activity engaged in as a means of
    livelihood that equates to that pursued by vaudeville artistes.
    
    Jeff.
629.41I think that's just about it...AYOV27::ISMITHTauro-Scatological ExpletiveTue Mar 07 1989 13:578
    It would be impossible to devise a course of instruction facilitating
    the learning, by the second generation female ancestor of the course
    designer, the skill enabling the oral near-inhallation of several
    examples of the unfertilised cell and accompanying matter produced
    by either a feathered creature (flying or otherwise) or an unusual
    mammal with a wide flat bill for the purpose of food gathering.
    
    Ian.
629.42Long enough?MARVIN::KNOWLESthe teddy-bears have their nit-pickTue Mar 07 1989 14:281
    People are unusual.
629.43Succinct!NEARLY::GOODENOUGHTue Mar 07 1989 16:471
    Re: .42 spoken with a Yorkshire accent, no doubt?
629.44POOL::TRUMPLERMona, you're a brickTue Mar 07 1989 22:532
    Seen affixed to the rear collision protection devices of some
    automotive carriages:  "Excrement occurs."
629.45SSDEVO::GOLDSTEINThu Mar 09 1989 00:244
    Please initiate a walkout of organized labor the moment the ferrite
    rod begins to glow red.
    
    Bernie