| I ran across this out on the web at
http://www.a1.nl/phomepag/markerink/gearhead.htm. Thought you might get
a kick out of it. All spelling mistakes are the authors, not mine. ;-)
Harry
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You know you are a gearhead when....
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- Your belt buckle was made by Slick Rock Enterprises.
- The belt it's on has a 20,000 lb tow capacity.
- When your kid spills their tricycle and bends the rear axle, you
automatically reach for your Currie Enterprises catalog...
- When your wife says she's expecting and Ultrasound shows it's a boy,
you insist the name will be "Dana Spicer".
- When you go to the supermarket, you never buy less than 5 bananas at
one time.
- When you go to the bathroom, you always take a parts catalog.
- When the work on your 4x is never done.
- When people ask you how much your rig cost and you just laugh.
- People ask: "how you'd get all those dents" Your reply: There not
dents there works of art.
- You spent 4-6hrs saturday to buy sparkplugs but came home with a
spare CJ and a lift for your F-150.
- Your new found friend called about parts for sale. "your SO thought
you're going to have a clean yard" And you ended up trading for a
rusted out FJ40. HE stayed for dinner too.
- You dismiss a Lambourghini Diablo as a potential vehicle solely on
it's obvious lack of ground clearance and poor approach/depart angles.
- You see earth-moving equipment with their mondo terrain tires and
think to yourself, "Yeah, I could make 'em fit."
- The only 44" measurement that excites you is a tire diameter.
- You watch Monster Trucks on TSN and get some good ideas for your own
rig.
- You and your child build a soap box racer, take it to a race and it's
the only one there with Nerf Bars and a winch.
- You see earth-moving equipment and you fantasize about how much
easier it would have been to get *that* down the last trail you were on
than your current 4x4.
- You can determine the angle of your vehicle by the reactions of your
spouse.
- When you have to move your toolbox from the passenger floor (it's
usual location) so that someone can ride with you.
- You think your rig looks better dirty than clean, and it does...!
- You've changed the stock gears to lower ones, then added lockers or
posi's, then you changed axles altogether and did it all over
again.....
- Your truck has been lifted at least a couple of times, and you've
broken more parts than you can remember because you've been wheeling so
long..... And you can recite the part numbers by heart without looking
into the catalogs...
- You're never quite happy with the motors tourque numbers so you keep
upgrading and upgrading until you finally go for the big block......
Then, you work on that one...
- The 'accessories' on other trucks are neccessities on your truck.
Your offroad lights actually work, you can turn the 38" tires better
now than when the truck had stock 29's because of the 5.38's and 460,
the rollcage/rollbar is welded to the frame and not bolted to the bed,
you actually have gas in the spare gas can, the CB antennae is actually
hooked up to a CB, your'e towhooks are bent from use and still hanging
in there, your'e yellow snatch-em straps are a perminent color of light
brown from the hundreds of times the have been used in the mud....
- You love the smell of gear oil...
- You have enough spare parts in your garage to build a complete
vehicle, although it would be unrecognizable.
- You like the sunny days but live for the rainy, snowy sloppy days
because that is when wheeling is the most fun.....
- You have a dirt berm at the end of your driveway from the mud that
got washed off your truck.....
- You have a utility trailer that is lifted so you can pull it behind
your lifted truck.... And it has 33's on it.....
- You went ahead and spent the farm on the winch because you know that
sooner or later, you'll need it again, and again, and again....
- When driving around town, you have to stop every 5 minutes to pee,
and you DON'T have a bad bladder.(I mean, really drive "AROUND" town).
- You think that an Airline is something that connects your
differential to the air compressor.
- You buy a new house and you make sure that it does NOT have a paved
driveway.
- It has occurred to you that french fries would probably not be bad if
cooked in 90-weight oil.
- You bungee-strap your *jacket* to the seat - In the event of a
roll-over.
- You've put a skid plate on your dog's belly when you take it for a
"stroll".
- You think that "501s" are a great gear ratio for radical wheelin'.
- You think that, to the wife's disbelief, that "one more truck" is not
one too many.
- You put padding around your stick shifts, your roll bars - AND your
rear-view mirror.
- When you come in from the garage and your granddaughter (ok, you can
stop laughting now ;-) says, "Papa Rick, you're too dirty to sit on the
couch".
- When you start wondering how much lift and what brand of lockers you
want to install when your daughter's stroller bogs down in the gravel
driveway.
- You break into a cold sweat when your workout partner at the gym says
"Here, take my locker- I can't use it."
- You know you're a 4Xgearhead when you read the Offroad Digest BEFORE
you read your company e-mail, first thing in the morning ...
- When you can remember the exact day you bought your rig, but forgot
about the number of years you have been married.
- When she says she has her period, you immediately start thinking when
your rig is scheduled for oil change.
- When she mentiones protection, you start calling your Rhino liner
dealer.
- When your friends start talking about skiing, you wonder where you
left that snowplough from last winter.
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