Conference hbahba::cam_sports

>>>of rain!  The foor of teh Seattle Coliseum couldn't
		 ^^^^

	'Saw, have you seen anyone about your dislexia problem??


	billl

Nah, just sore hands tryin' to type......

    	That's "dyslexia"
    
    	TTOCS

    
>>           <<< Note 154.2 by CAMONE::WAY "You can't polish a turd" >>>

>>Nah, just sore hands tryin' to type......

    ALERT ALERT ALERT, we cain surmise by the above statement about sore
    hands that Saw got a massive supply of Cheez-Whiz AND Lacquer for
    Christmas and ain't wasting no time using it up.
    
    JaKe
    
    

>    ALERT ALERT ALERT, we cain surmise by the above statement about sore
>    hands that Saw got a massive supply of Cheez-Whiz AND Lacquer for
>    Christmas and ain't wasting no time using it up.
    
Nah, that would be sore something else.

I was splitting some firewood the other night and caught one of those
big old knots inside a log.   The ax stopped cold and the rest of
me wanted it to keep going.  Needless to say the hands and forearms
took a beating.

For whatevers it's worth, my fingers are still hurting long after everything
else has gotten better....


'Saw    
    

    Re: .5  Saw, invest in a 6 pound splitting maul..... No knot will ever
    stand in your way again...
    
    REK

Well, with the Olympics coming up again:


	Jan 6:	Telephone operators in Albertville, Alabama, found
		themselves besieged by ticket requests for the 1992
		Winter Olympic Games.  Unfortunately, the international
		event was being held an ocean away in Albertville, France.
		The Alabama namesake's nearest ice-skating rink and ski
		slope are 30 miles away.

    
    
    Yabbut I'd betcha that the callers were diploma carrying graduates of
    the MrT and <who was the baseball player again?) School of World
    Geography!
    
    I remain,
    having certain core memory cells blocked by cold germs
    ACHOOOOO!
    Kev
    

    
    
      Oil Can Boyd.
    

January 8/9:

	"If the Warren Commission were still active, I'd send
	them a tape to determine whether one official acted 
	alone or if there was a conspiracy"

			- Southern Cal basketball coach George Raveling,
			  upset with the officiating of a PAC-10 game
			  his team lost

	January 11:

		One of the more comical scenes of the 1991-92
		NBA season took place during the Philadelphia 76ers'	
		89-86 win over the Detroit Piston.  Reserve players
		on the Sixers' bench rose to their feet when Ron
		Anderson canned a clutch three-pointer late in the
		game.  However, Philly's twin towers Manute Bol and
		Charles Shackleford didn't remain standing for long.
		The centers went sprawling because teammate Jayson
		Williams had tied their shoelaces together!

This one is pretty good:

	
	January 12:

		On this date in 1991, Princeton beat Cornell 164-81
		in an unusual collegiate swim meet.  A nasty blizzard
		prevented Princeton from traveling to the Cornell campus
		in Ithaca, New York, so the two schools reached a kooky
		compromise.  The swimmers competed in their respective
		pools and the official results were tabulated and
		compared over fax and phone.


(Dan'l woulda liked that one, eh?)


'Saw

Because I'm becoming quite the college hoops fan......



	Jan 17:	The Edinboro (Pa) State Fighting Scots lost twice
		in the same basketball game on this data in 1981.
		The scoreboard read 84-82 in favor of home team,
		Lock Haven when the final buzzer sounded.  Both teams
		were in their locker rooms and most fans had left
		the gym when officials found a scorecard error that had
		cheated Edinboro out of two points.  Players donned their
		sweat-soaked uniforms and returned to the court where
		Edinboro fell again, this time 97-92 in double overtime.

Just win, baby:


	Jan 21:	The 1940 welterweight boxing match between Fritzie
		Zivic and Al "Bummy" Davis ended in a brawl -- with
		the police!  After the tenth foul blow was struck by
		Davis, the referee disqualified him, but Davis and
		Zivic continued to flail away at each other.  Finally
		the cornermen and police rushed into the ring and had
		to pull the slugging, snarling boxers apart....

For all the Ulf fans out there:


	Jan 22/23:
	
		"It's really simple.  I'll do whatever it takes 
		to keep opposing players from putting the puck in
		the net.  Sometimes it's illegal."


				-- Ulf Samuelsson

	Jan 24:

		So many players fouled out of a 1951 basketball
		game against Tennessee Tech that Morehead State (Ky)
		had only three men on the court in the final minutes.
		So their coach, Ellis Johnson, decided to take
		action.  He threw off his coat and shucked his 
		shoes -- and played the remaining few minutes!  The
		refs let him play only after he had conceded the
		game.  Morehead State lost 90-88.  "What bothered
		me most," said Johnson, "was that my players wouldn't
		pass the ball to me."

		Jan 27:

			On this date in 1982, the Philadelphia Phillies
			traded aging All-Star Larry Bowa and a relatively
			unknown minor leaguer to the Chicago Cubs for
			shorstop Ivan DeJesus.  That extra player from the
			Phils turned out to be sensational second baseman
			Ryne Sandberg, who in 1992 signed a four-year contract
			worth more than $28 million.  DeJesus had several
			so-so years for Philadelphia.  Bowa, who soon turned
			to coaching, contract Sandberg after the signing
			of the huge contract, and noted:  "Just remember,
			all you are is a throw-in"

	Jan 29/30:

		"Nobody is talked about more than me.  I am the
		 best promotor in the world.  And I say that
		 humbly."

					-- Boxing Promotor, Don King

I like this one.....


	Feb 1:

		During a timeout in the closing minute of a 1963
		overtime basketball game with visiting Beckley
		College, Bluefield State guard Don McDowell stepped
		out into the lobby of the gym for a drink of water.
		When play resumed at the other end of the court, McDowell
		hid in the lobby, then charged through the doors, caught
		a floor length pass from a teammate, and scored the 
		winning basket on a uncontested layup.  Said Beckley coach
		Joe Cook, "It was unfair lobbying on their part."

    there has been a rule on the books in college basketball that states
    that a player coming from out of bounds cannot be the next recipient of
    the ball.  Perhaps they put that rule in after this play.
    
    This rule was generally disregared by refs.

	Feb 3:
		Pro Bass angler Fredda Lee was fishing on an Indianna
		lack in 1987 when she hooked something strange.
		The moment she got her first glimpse of her catch, she
		started screaming -- it looked like she had hooked a
		human head!  "It scared me to death and I started hollering
		to all the other boats," Fredda recalled.  As fellow
		anglers hurried to her boat, Fredda took another look
		and discovered it was just a rubber Halloween mask of
		an ugly woman.......

		Feb 5/6:

			"In college, when I call timeout, at least I
			 know I'm the highest paid guy in the huddle"

				-- University of Cincinnati basketball
				   coach Ed Badger on why he prefers
				   coaching in college to the NBA.

    Huh?
    
    Coach Bob Huggins is here at UC.
    
    Mebbe an assit coach? 

    Wasn't Badger the UC coach sometime back though???
    
    - Rope

>    Wasn't Badger the UC coach sometime back though???
>    
>    - Rope

The calendar didn't say when......  

For all of you who like to take to the links:


	Feb 9:
		The appropriately named Elephant Hills Country
		Club in Zimbabwe, Africa has three special rules
		for its brave golfers:  

			"If a player is chased by an elephant, he
			 shall play the ball as it lies whether or
			 not the animal has stepped on it"

			"If a ball comes to rest within a tail's
			 distance of a sleeping buffalo, it may
			 be removed and dropped no nearer the 
		 	 hole without penalty"

			"If a ball hits a running warthog, the player
			 may not replay the shot, unless it hits the
			 tail"

and on this day in 1990,
James  (Buster) Douglas knocks out Mike Tyson to win
the heavyweight title.
dr.a

>
>and on this day in 1990,
>James  (Buster) Douglas knocks out Mike Tyson to win
>the heavyweight title.

Wow, has it been that long?????


'Saw

One of all the college hoops fans:


	Feb 10:

		The scoreboard at Troy (Ala.) State looked like a
		video game gone wild when hapless DeVry Institute
		of Technology allowed the home team to score an
		NCAA record 258 points in a 1992 college basketball
		contest.  Defenseless DeVry -- an NAIA school from
		Decatur, Georgia -- let the Division II Trojans sink
		51 of 109 3-point attempts and score an average of
		6.5 points per minute in the 258-141 slaughter.



Wow......  I hope those guys engineer better than they play hoops!

yup, I was in Tokyo at the time and they actually televised the fight.

But I'm pretty sure the fight was on Sunday 2/11 and not on 2/10 which
was a Saturday.

The Crazy Met

re: .29

did they score 100 pts in the first half??

What NCAA division was this?

>But I'm pretty sure the fight was on Sunday 2/11 and not on 2/10 which
>was a Saturday.

Nah, it was a Saturday, I remember that well.  But, for you it was Sunday
no doubt......


'Saw

    >             <<< Note 154.31 by METSNY::francus "Billlls in '94" >>>
    >
    >re: .29
    >
    >did they score 100 pts in the first half??
    >
    >What NCAA division was this?
    >
    Ga. Tech score over 100 points against Cumberland on the way to a 212-0
    football score - in 30s I believe.

yup that was it 'Saw. It was Sunday morning in Tokyo, Saturday night
in Boston.

The Crazy Met

    What's that thing everyone's supposed to do when they cross the
    international dateline?  Party like hell?  Swap partners.

>    What's that thing everyone's supposed to do when they cross the
>    international dateline?  Party like hell?  Swap partners.

I've never heard of that, but then it might be a Jarhead ritual. 8^)

I know a bit of what they do in submarines when "rookies"cross the equator, for
the first time, but as my Dad is fond of saying, "they didn't call it the
Silent Service for nothing".....


'SAw

    I think its more like free drinks on an ocean liner - Any love boat
    fans care to confirm?
    
    
    The Marines are already drinking, aleady singing.. what are they gonna
    do different
    
    

My dad was on a carrier in WWII, and reports that there was much revelry 
associated with crossing the equator for the firsted time.  He still has 
his citation, where he went from a {mumble-mumble} to a Trusted {mumble-mumble}.

He mentioed something about having his head shaved, being blasted by hoses, and 
having the ships garbage dumped on him.  Sounds like great fun to me.

=Bob=

 speaking of Jarheads and Marines, this hall of shame note is certainly
 the appropriate place for this piece of trash:

	The Toys for Tots campaign that the Marines coordinate is under
        federal investigation for misappropiation of funds. Apparently
        10 million dollars worth of collections is unaccounted for and
        toys were never purchased with the donations. Wonder how they'll
        sweep this one under the rug.....

 mike

Gee, that goes right along with today's entry (sort of):



	Feb 11:

		The presence of foreign chemicals in the catch
		rather than the catcher led to the disqualification
		of the winner of a 1991 salmon-fishing derby.  Scientists
		discovered the prize fish turned in by angler Michael
		DeBaere must have come from Lake Ontario -- and not
		Lake Erie where the contest was held.  The tainted
		first place salmon contained an insecticide and fire
		retardant that matched the salmon spawned in Lake
		Ontario.

    
    
    re.  where he went from a {mumble-mumble} to a Trusted {mumble-mumble}.
    
      From a slime-ball polywog to a Trusted Shellback.
    
    Was not a pretty sight.
    
    Jerry

    >He mentioed something about having his head shaved, being blasted by
    >hoses, and having the ships garbage dumped on him.  Sounds like great
    >fun to me.
    
    Sounds like what happened to me when I had to explain to my customer
    why we are making chips for AMD.
    
    brews

    >Ga.Tech score over 100 points against Cumberland on the way to a 212-0
    >football score - in the 30s I believe.
    
    Actually it was 1916 and the score was 222-0. Some interesting facts
    about the game:
    
    -there were no first downs in the game.
    -Tech scored 63 in the 1st, 63 in the 2nd, 54 in the 3rd and 42 in the
    4th.
    -the final two periods were shortened from 15 to 12.5 mins at
    Cumberland's request.
    -Tech scored 32 TDs, ran for 978 yards, and never threw a pass.
    -Cumberlnd totaled -45 yards on offense and eventually began punting
    after every kickoff.
    -Grantland Rice was on hand and reported Cumberland's best play to be a
    run around right end for a six yard loss.
    -GT coach John Heisman held a hard, full contact practice immediately
    after the game, conceded Tech had played a "fairly good game" and
    bought the team a steak dinner.
    -with a 126-0 halftime lead, Heisman gave the following halftime speech
    "You're doing all right, team. We're ahead. But you just can't tell
    what those Cumberland players have up their sleeves. They may spring a
    surprise. Be alert, men! Hit 'em clean, but hit 'em hard."
    -Cumberland's coach said "Hang on, boys! Remember that $500 guarantee". 
     
    GTChris
    
    Oh yeah, my grandfather was on the team but didn't play due to a bad
    back, but he did get the stadium in my home town named after him.
    

>    -Grantland Rice was on hand and reported Cumberland's best play to be a
>    run around right end for a six yard loss.

One of the premier sportswriters of all time.

And in case you don't know what to get your sweetheart for Valentine's Day:


		Feb 14:

			Sports celebrities are used to autograph and
			trading-card collectors, but University of
			Kentucky basketball coach Rick Pitino fell 
			prey to a trash collector in 1992.  While Pitino
			and his Wildcats were on the road, someone drove
			up to his home in Lexington and made off with his
			household garbage.  "It's not what you'd call
			normal, but it's normal to Kentucky," said
			Pitino.

    
>>    -with a 126-0 halftime lead, Heisman gave the following halftime speech
>>    "You're doing all right, team. We're ahead. But you just can't tell
>>    what those Cumberland players have up their sleeves. They may spring a
>>    surprise. Be alert, men! Hit 'em clean, but hit 'em hard."
    
    
    
>>    -Cumberland's coach said "Hang on, boys! Remember that $500 guarantee". 
    
OK quick quiz... Who can guess which coach Lou Holtz and Jimmy Johnson
    (at Miami) patterned their motivational approach after??...
    
    MikeL
        
    
    
    
    
    
     
    
    

    HAHAHAHA, good one Bill, my my did ol' Frank do that kind of stuff
    while at BC?? tsk tsk. he was a saint at ND.   
    
    Actually a little earlier. Combine both and you get Rockne..
    
    
    MikeL
    
    

    One time Idaho came into town and Leahy told newsman what a challenge
    this would be for the Eagles.  The headline saturday morning was
    
    	Leahy Fears Idaho!
    
    Final score - (circa)  BC 70 Idaho 0

	Feb 15:

		In the early 1970's, students at Stanford University
		voted to change the school's nickname from the
		Indians to the Robber Barons.  The students said
		the new name best described Stanford's founding
		family's business history.  University officials
		vetoed the idea in 1972, and instead christened its
		sports teams with the colorful moniker Cardinal.

    Wail 'Saw,
    Whence I was matriculating in college ( back when "Don't Blame Me,
    I'm from Massachusetts" buttons abounded agin TrickyDick), the students
    at Northwestern wanted to change the moniker of its athletic teams
    from the Wildcats to the Purple Haze... idea began from a bong I
    assume.
    
    MikeL
    

I think it's pretty funny how "right on" the kids were and how the officials
caved on it.

'Saw

and sixteen years ago today, Leon Spinks split-decisioned Muhammed Ali
to win the heavyweight title.

	Feb 21:

		New Kensington was hosting Arnold in a Pennsylvania
		high school basketball game on this date in 
		1938 when a thick fog rolled over the countryside -- and
		into the open windows of the gynmasium.  Spectators
		could barely see the court through the heavy mist.  It
		finally got so bad that neither players nor officials
		could follow the ball, so the game was suspended.

    
    >>		New Kensington was hosting Arnold in a Pennsylvania
    
    And Arnold Zipfel never showed up, either!!!
    
    JaKe
    

      Gee,  the dummies couldn't close the windows?

    Close the windows?? Nah, these guys' kids were the ones who opened
    the doors at Jints Stadium this past year when Deluiso beat
    Phoenix with that gale-aided blow..
    
    MikeL
    

>    Close the windows?? Nah, these guys' kids were the ones who opened
>    the doors at Jints Stadium this past year when Deluiso beat
>    Phoenix with that gale-aided blow..
    
Minor nit.

New Jersey fire regulations require that the door at the end of the 
stadium remain open during occupancy.


'Saw    

	Feb 21:

		Officials at the University of Texas should have
		picked up a newspaper sports section before publishing
		a list of "missing" letterman in a 1991 issue of the
		athletic department's magazine _Stampede_.  Readers
		were asked to contact the school with information on
		any of the "lost" Longhorns, including Eric Metcalf
		of the Cleveland Browns, Gene Chilton of the New
		England Patriots, and Bruce Ruffin of the Philadelphia
		Phillies!

Feb 23:

	While getting slaughtered 155-49 in a 1982 basketball
	game, Baptist Christian College resorted to desperate
	measures -- they triedto freeze th ball!  The Warriors
	wrongly thought that the national scoring record was
	160 points and they didn't want to become victims of 
	a new record.  So they stalled in the final minutes.  Players
	and coaches from winning Delta State were dumbfounded by
	the strategy.  "Can you imagine holding the ball when you're
	losing by over 100 points?" asked stunned Delta coach
	Mel Hankinson.

Mar 2:

	In 1974, pro golfer Mike Reasor set the PGA Tour record
	for the highest score ever over the final two rounds
	of an event when he registered an embarrassing 123
	and 114 while at the Tallahassee Open.  Reasor, who earlier
	injured his arm while horseback riding, finished the 36
	holes one-handed!  He played despite the pain, because
	completing the tourney meant an automatic entry in the
	next PGA event.

On this day in 1962, Wilt scores 100 points
in 169-147 victory over Knicks.
36 of 63 from the floor, 28 of 32 from the line.

    Dipper dunker 100 points.
    
    In front of only a few thousand fans in Hershey, PA.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

>>    Dipper dunker 100 points.
    
  
 betcha he'd trade those 100 points for 1 of Big Bill's ELEVEN RINGS!!!

 mike

 >           <<< Note 154.63 by CAMONE::WAY "Aces and Eights" >>>                   
 >                -< Spring *IS* coming....sometime.... >-
    
    It's here, 'saw.  Slept with the windows open for the firsted time
    thised year lasted night, the first Spring Training game is today, and
    a Met is in the news for getting in trouble with the law.
    
    brews

    Which Met?  Strawberry counts as an ex-Met.
    
    Mike

>    It's here, 'saw.  Slept with the windows open for the firsted time
>    thised year lasted night, the first Spring Training game is today, and
>    a Met is in the news for getting in trouble with the law.
    
Well, they're talking "The Mother of All Storms" starting tonight out
here.

No big deal, I guess, I'm used to it at this point.  In May, I'll be
sitting in the sun in the back yard in a lawn chair, sipping a brew,
reading a book, and laughing at the winter we just had....

Yeah, that's the ticket......


'saw

   > Which Met?  Strawberry counts as an ex-Met.    
    
    Once a scumbag, er Met, always a Met.
    
    brews

    I didn't think Nolan Ryan was a scumbag.
    

For our friends across The Pond:

	Mar 4:

		Abbott and Costello had nothing over the author
		who penned an explanation of the British game
		of cricket for a 1991 issue of 'Sportsletter', a
		publication for amateur athlete.  The confusing chap
		noted:  "Each man that's on the side that's in,
		goes out, and when he's out, he comes in, and
		the next man goes in until he's out.  Sometimes you
		get men still in and not out.  When both sides
		have been in and out, including the not outs, that's
		the end of the game."  But who's on first.

Harrumph.

Cricket is quite easy to understand. Just bear in mind that England are dismal
at it. Look at the result of a match in which England played, assume everything
we did was rubbish, everything our opponents did was good, and lo, the dawn of
understanding.

Mike

>Cricket is quite easy to understand. Just bear in mind that England are dismal
>at it. Look at the result of a match in which England played, assume everything
>we did was rubbish, everything our opponents did was good, and lo, the dawn of
>understanding.

Mike,

Our resident (sometimes) SPORTS Aussie, Madge, gave me and several other
noters a GREAT description of cricket one evening, with a few mugs of
beer and a couple of salt and pepper shakers.

The fact that I was alway somewhat blitzed probably helped me to
understand it.....


'Saw

A harbinger of spring:


	March 7:

		Pitcher Jimmy Key of the Toronto Blue Jays botched up
		a rare plate appearance during a 1992 spring training	
		game.  Key, who was normally replaced in the Blue Jays
		lineup by a designated hitter, stroked a line drive that
		fell cleanly into right field.   But he was thrown
		out at first.  "They told me to hit," Key said later.  
		"Nobody said anything about running."



(Key plays for the Yankees now, I think)


'Saw

March 11:


	During spring training in 1992, Bill Giles, president of
	the Philadelphia Phillies, had to swallow more than
	his breakfast after dining in a restaurant in Clearwater,
	Florida.  As Giles paid his bill, the eatery onwer
	asked if he knew the man who'd been seated at a table
	next to him.  When Giles feigned ignorance, the restaurant
	owner told him: "Well, that was Lenny Dykstra, and he's 
	getting $9 million from the Phillies.  Don't you wonder what
	kind of idiot would pay him that much money?"

This reminds me of someone:


	March 12/13:

		"I wqrite from the viewpoint of the average fan,
		although like any average fan, I think I know more
		about the game than the average fan."

					-- Sportswriter Art Hill

This reminds me of Tonya and Nancy:


	Mar 14:

		A 1988 college basketball game between St. Joseph's
		and LaSalle was marred by a bench-clearing brawl --
		of cheerleaders!  When LaSalle's female cheerleaders
		were doing a routine, the St. Joe mascot, the Hawk,	
		ran to midcourt and danced around them.  So LaSalle's
		male cheerleaders rushed onto the cour, grabbed the Hawk,
		and tried to carry him off.  St. Joseph's cheerleaders
		then charged onto the floor and the fists flew.  The
		wild fracas halted the game for five minutes while
		players helpd separate the battling cheerleaders.

March 15:


	The Topps baseball card company dropped the ball with its
	handling of its 1974 series.  Company officials feared the
	San Diego Padres would relocate to Washington, DC, so they
	amended the team card set to read "Washington, National League."
	However, the Padres remained on the West Coast and the cards
	became collectors' items.

Quote of the week:


	March 19/20:

		"My great-grandkids are set for life.
		With him, it's his great-great-great-great grandkids."


				-- New York Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden,
				   on the huge contract signed by
				   teammate Bobby Bonilla.

YOu folks will like this one:


	March 21:


		The St. Louis Billikens beat the New York Univeristy
		Violets to capture the 1948 NIT title.  But the matter
		of which team had the oddest nickname ended up in a 
		draw.  Some other wacky monikers include:  Campbell
		University (N.C.) Fightin' Camels, Illinois College
		Blue Boys, Ogelthorpe University (Ga) Stormy Petrels,
		Presbyterian College (S.C.) Lady Blue Hose, and
		Tufts University (Mass.) Jumbos.

    The Stormy Petrels?  As opposed to the Calm Petrels?
    
    NAZZ

>
>    The Stormy Petrels?  As opposed to the Calm Petrels?
>    


Well, from doing the crossword every Sunday, I know that the petrel is
a bird, but not much more.  If memory serves correct, I believe it's
classified as a sea bird.....

'Saw

	Here's one for next year's Hall Of Shame Calendar

	Singing The Baby Blues.

	March 20th.  One of the most highly touted freshman recruiting 
classes finishes out their college hoops career in ignominious fashion by 
losing in the second round of the NCAA Championship to a far inferior, but 
superbly coached and motivated Boston College team.

Gotta love this one:


	April 6:

		Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski
		received a mixed message following the Blue Devils'
		NCAA championship in 1991.  The letter was postmarked
		Chapel Hill, hom of the intrastate rival North Carolina
		Tar Heels.  The envelope was inscribed, "Jesus Loves You,"
		but the note stated "But everybody else thinks you are
		a jerk."  Krzyzewski later commented:  "I called North
		Carolina coach Dean Smith and told him to sign his
		cards from now on."



I'm rolling....


'Saw

April 7:

	Hockey and baseball didn't mix well for pitcher Tim Burke
	of the Montreal Expos.  After spending a 1991 rain delay
	in the clubhouse watching a physical NHL game, the riled-up
	reliever entered a contest against the Pittsburgh Pirates
	and immediately plunked two batters.  "I was too excited
	after the hockey game," explained Burke.  "I had to
	hit someone!"

April 8th:

	Veteran A.J. Foyt and young Jeff Andretti were involved
	in a CART Indy Car race mishap that left both drivers in 
	the pit area for the remainder of the 1991 event in Nazareth,
	Pennsylvania.  A frustrated Foyt was walking down pit row
	after the race when he came upon a woman sitting near Andretti's
	parked car.  Foyt immediately launched into a tirade aimed at
	Jeff's racing abilities.  The woman waited until Foyt finished,
	before explaining to him that he was standing in the pit area
	of Jeff's cousing, John Andretti!

April 9/10:

	"I'm going to become a hog farmer.  After some of the things
	 I've been through, I regard it as a step up."


			- Rice University football coach, Al Conover

For TCM and Walt:


	April 12:

		In a pitiful display of shooting, the Detroit Pistons
		downed the New York Knicks 72-61 on this date in 
		1992.  The woeful offensive performance was the 
		second-lowest cumulative point total in NBA history since
		the inception of the 24-second clock.  Detroit shot just
		38 percent, while New York tallied and even worse 30.7
		percent.  "It was a bizarre game," summed up Knicks
		coahc Pat Riley.

    At least the good guys won...
    

    In a game between those two, it would be really tough to tell.

Just for Doc:


	April 16-17:

		"When I was growning up, my mother wouldn't allow
		 me to go near a golf course.  She didn't think the
		 people who played there were very nice.  Now I play
	 	 every day, and you know what?  She was right."


					-- Basketball legend Bill Russell

Talk about an unplayable lie:


	April 20:

		In 1977, a grapefruit tree stood between golfer
		William Collings and a hole at the Eldorado Country
		Club in Palm Desert, California.  Collings figured he'd
		simply dirve his ball over the obstruction.  But
		he topped the shot and sent it sailing straight into
		the tree.  Upon closer inspection, Collings discovered
		his ball had sliced into a grapefruit and was embedded
		inside it like a seed.

    
    	There are quite a few courses here with saguaro cacti near the tee. 
    Saguaros are not unlike grapefruit with a thick skin (although not as
    thick as a grapefruit) and a meaty pulp inside.  I've seen a few that
    close to tees that must have 30 or more golf balls stuck in them.  It's
    pretty funny the first time you see it.
    
    brews 

    but you better watch out for the jumping cacti!

On this date in 1980, Rosie Ruiz "wins" the Boston Marathon.

I wonder what ever became of her?

dr.a

Don't know about Rosie, but you GOTTA love this guy:


	April 21:

		In 1991, David Allen, of Philadelphia's Lockland
		High School suffered a broken nose during basketball
		practice.  It was the beginning of a painful 24 hours
		for the two-sport star.  The next afternoon at baseball
		warmups, Allen was fielding ground balls when one took 
		a bad bounce and whacked him on the mouth.  Despite black
		eyes and swollen lips, Allen gamely took his position at
		shortstop later that day.  But then a third-inning grounder
		severely fractured his right thumb, and sent him to
		the hospital.

re Rosie:

	Will she ever return?
	No, she'll never return.
	And her fate is still unlearned.

	She may ride forever 
	'neath the streets of Boston.
	She's the runner who'll never return!
	

April 20, 1994

	Clay T. Wade, pitching a little batting practice to his
	son in preparation for said son's first little league
	game, plunked his son squarely on the head.

	Mrs. Wade inquired of her husband "What happened?"

	Mr. Wade replied, "Hey, the little twerp was crowding the
	plate!"

      Careful there Clay, someone might think your abusing your child (-).
    
      Have you done the soccer ball to the face yet?
    
      Tim

>>     <<< Note 154.100 by GENRAL::WADE "So, what's on your alleged mind?" >>>
>>                   -< one of those Kodak father/son moments >-


>>	game, plunked his son squarely on the head.

That ain't nothing!  Wait until you're coaching a team of 9 and 10
year old boys, and hit someone else's kid while throwing batting
practice, with Mom looking on.  Fortunately, I can't throw hard
enough to hurt anyone. ;-)

Jerry

    re - plunking someone else's kid up at bat.
    
    I know the feeling, as a Little League President, pitching BP to about
    60+ kids all trying out for Little League.  In years past, by the end
    of the day, my arm would be hanging.  In the last few years, I can't
    even get through the whole day.  
    
    And, to make matters worse, I've plunked my share of kids who are
    desperately trying to make a "major league" little league team.
    
    /joe

Never saw anyone get hit in batting practice when I was in Little League
but one of my favorite memories of little league was during fielding
practice one time.

This kid, Stephen Ignellzi was trying to field a fly ball.  He missed it,
and the ball hit him squarely on the schnoz (which was a big one to
begin with) and bounced about two feet in the air, making the sound of
someone splitting a log with an axe.

Immediately a huge jet of blood squirted out his nose.  

It was too cool.  They called the ambulance and took him to the hospital.
We found out later he'd busted his nose....


It was SO COOL.

    
    	Hey, just cuz he had taken me deep 3 out of the first 4 pitches
    	does not mean I hit him on purpose.  Just cuz his Mom was ribbing
    	me about him taking me deep does not mean I hit him on purpose.
    
    	He needs to learn that Dad owns the inside part of the plate!  :*)
    
    Claybone

Did you get ejected?

Article: 689
From: [email protected] (AP)
Newsgroups: clari.sports.baseball,clari.sports.features
Subject: Minor Leaguer Fans 5 In Inning
Date: Wed, 20 Apr 94 16:10:46 PDT
 
	BELOIT, Wis. (AP) -- Some pitchers strike out the side. Kelly
Wunsch of the Beloit Brewers did a whole lot better.
	The left-hander for the Class A Midwest League team became only
the third person -- and the first in 42 years -- to strike out five
batters in an inning. It happened last Friday in the third inning
of a 7-3 loss to Springfield, Ill., at Beloit's Pohlman Field.
	All it took was two wild pitches -- both curveballs -- on third
strikes.
	``I was kind of laughing when it happened,'' Wunsch said
Wednesday. ``I didn't now it was anything special.''
	Lloyd Johnson, editor of the Encyclopedia of Minor League
Baseball, searched a computer database and found only two other
occasions when pitchers have struck out five in an inning:
	--Ron Necciai of Bristol in the Appalachian League against
Johnson City on May 17, 1952.
	--John Perkovitsh of Wisconsin Rapids against Oshkosh in a
Wisconsin State League game on May 17, 1946.
	No major league pitcher has struck out five in an inning. Wunsch
is the only starter among the three pitchers to do it, Johnson
said.
	Wunsch's third inning went like this:
	--Walks Darrick Duke, who gets to third on an error while
stealing a base.
	--Strikes out Roy McKinnis (one out).
	--Strikes out John Fantauczi (two outs).
	--Gives up a double to Juan Epinal, run scores.
	--Strikes out Erik Corps, who reaches on a wild pitch.
	--Strikes out Earl Johnson, but another wild pitch allows him to
reach. Another run scores.
	--Strikes out Eduardo Cuevas to end the inning.
	Wunsch took the loss, allowing five earned runs in four innings.
	``At least I have a record,'' he said.
	Wunsch, who attended Texas A&M, was the 26th selection of the
Brewers in the June 1993 amateur draft. The selection was
compensation for Toronto signing Paul Molitor.
	The Brewers are an affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers.

    
    I remember when my Dad was teaching me how to play 1b and hold the
    runne on.  He had me be the runner, and was showing me how to make the
    tag.  Anyway, my sister threw the ball, Dad swipes a hard tag at me,
    right in the cajones.  I think I was on the ground for about 4 hours.
    
    Course if I was like Roseanne, or a soccer player, I would have sued
    him for beating me or something, but since he's dead I'd sue the town I
    used to live in because they didnm't do anything to stop this robbing
    of my youth (not to mention some of my youthful vigor).
    
    brews

    re .104, Stephen Ignellzi was trying to field a fly ball.
    
    A similar thing happened last year during our Little League tryouts.
    We had been out on the field for 2 days - all day Saturday, from 9-3,
    and Sunday, from 9-12, trying out kids for Little League.
    
    On Sunday, the very last day of tryouts, the last group of kids took
    their hitting practice, & their fielding (ground ball) practice.  I
    marched them out to 2nd base, lined them up single file, and threw them
    6-10 pop-ups apiece.  
    
    The very last kid in line stepped up for his pop-ups.  All the other
    boys were already off or leaving the field.  I threw him about a half-
    dozen lazy pop-ups, and then declared, "OK, 1 more & you're done."
    
    Boy, was he ever done.  Off the nose, onto the bridge of the
    eyeglasses, through the skin, into the eyebrow, nothin' but blood.
    
    Come to think of it, I'm pretty brutal with these kids at tryouts!
    
    /joe.

>>     <<< Note 154.105 by GENRAL::WADE "So, what's on your alleged mind?" >>>

    
>>    	He needs to learn that Dad owns the inside part of the plate!  :*)
    
Yeah, but did you show him the "Major League way" and teach him the
finer points of charging the mound?

Jerry

    I'm reminded of a practice we were having.  One of the guys was a real
    ball-hog, always cutting in front of whoever was lining up the fly
    ball.
    
    So, my friend Ron was lining up a fly, and this ball-hog runs over,
    yelling "I got it!  I got lt!"  So Ron, a nice guy, looked off the ball
    and lowered his glove.  The ball-hog, for some reason also gave up on
    it.  It hit Ron right on that metal button that's on baseball hats.
    
    We were in stitches, and he had a ring indented on his head that could
    easily be seen thru his crewcut.  The ball-hog didn't show up for a few
    days after that.

      I found $50 against a backstop once.  I'm sure someone cried.
    
      Tim

    
    	If he woulda charged me I woulda given him a Nolan Ryan Noogie.
    
    Claybone

	April 26:

		The sport of yachting must have been invented
		by a Dutchman who suffered from seasickness.
		According to a 1992 Forbes magazine story on 
		the America's Cup competition, the words yacht
		comes from the Dutch verb jacht.  The translation
		means "to throw up violently."

yep, I did.
In the Westin Hotel.
Had nuthin' to do w/the sox, though.

|yep, I did.
|In the Westin Hotel.
|Had nuthin' to do w/the sox, though.

Been there, done that...


Thised year I was thankful for the port-a-johns at the finish line.

||yep, I did.
||In the Westin Hotel.
||Had nuthin' to do w/the sox, though.
|
|Been there, done that...
|
|
|Thised year I was thankful for the port-a-johns at the finish line.

Only time I ever came close to puking doing anything athletic was the
time I got wanged in the haid playing rugby against Mystic River.
But I played through the nausea...

Does curling a quart of Jack Daniels count as athletic?

>Does curling a quart of Jack Daniels count as athletic?

Only if you do it one handed after a sixer of brews.

zamboni

>Only if you do it one handed after a sixer of brews.

I did the entire quart one handed, in one sitting and was already
down the neck and into the bottle of Jim Beam before I saw the Face
of God and lots o' dead relatives....

Course, havin' my main man Hendrix asking me over and over if I was
experienced, had I ever been experienced, helped a bit....


'Saw

It's a sport.

	zamboni

>It's a sport.
>
>	zamboni
>


Good thing that "Are YOu Experienced" was the first song on the album,
otherwise I wouldn't have been able to make the needle find the groove
to listen to it over and over and over......


8^)

    
    	Yabbut it ain't a sport 'cause the outcome is predetermined!
    

>    
>    	Yabbut it ain't a sport 'cause the outcome is predetermined!
>    

No it's not.

You never know how long you're actually going to hurl something, or
when (if) the dry heaves are going to kick in.....


'Saw

I like this one:


	April 27

		In 1992, Brian Jordan was a two-sport athlete
		who played safety for the Atlanta Falcons and
		outfield for the St. Louis Cardinals.  After breaking
		an 0-for-19 slump by stroking his first major league
		home run, an excited Jordan remarked: "It's like scoring
		your first touchdown."  When asked how many TDs he had
		scored for the Falcons, the slugger sheepishly 
		answered: "None."



(Does he still play with Atlanta and St. Louis?)

 nope he gave up football to play baseball full time cause the Cards made
 it worth for him to do so.....

 mike

I don't know enough golf to really understand this, but I think
it's kind of funny:

	April 28:

		Golfer Mark Brooks cruised through the first two
		rounds of the 1991 Las Vegas Invitational at 12
		strokes under par.  But run-ins with a palm tree
		and a lake led to a final 72-hole score of six 
		over par.  After a third-round shot landedin a 
		palm tree, Brooks used a mechanical cherry picker
		to locate eight balls among the fronds -- but not
		his own.  Disaster struck again when Brooks's caddy
		mishandled a tossed ball and it plunked into a
		lake.  The golfer follwed the ball into the drink,
		but netted a costly penalty when he fished out
		18 balls -- and none was the one he was playing!

    Lost ball = 2 stroke penalty. 
    
    Murph
    

	April 29:

		An escaped convict made a big error when he took
		in a baseball game at the Seattle Kingdome and
		came face-to-facew ith his warden while standing
		in line at a concession stand.  Cornered con Michael
		Mitchell sputtered, "Oh hi.  I guess I'll be seeing
		you again pretty soon" to Jack McCormick, head of his
		old home -- the Montana State Prison.  Stadium police
		took the fugitive into custody.

	May 2:

		Just moments before pitching his high school team
		from Mahopack, Mew York, to the 1987 state championship,
		Dave Fleming accidently swallowed the aluminum flip
		top off a soda can.  "I was sucking on the part of
		the can you flip up, and it slid down my throat," said
		Fleming.  "I almost choked on it, but then it slid down
		to my stomach.  I had a real bad stomach ache, but we 
		ended up winning.  That made it easy to forget."

    
    I wonder if that's the same Fleming that pitch(ed or s?) for the
    Mariners.
    
    brews

MrT used to get Jake going on how Pittsburgh couldn't sell out Three Rivers
for a playoff game.  It's not unprecedented, I guess, in Pittsburgh to
not have any faith in your teams in the 'offs....


	May 4:

		Just days before they won the 1968 ABA championship,
		the Pittsburgh Pipers returned to their home court
		to find their lockers emptied.  The maintenance crew
		had packed up the players' extra gear because they
		thought the Pipers would lose Game 6 on the road to
		the favored New Orleans Buccaneers, who held a 
		3-games-to-2 lead.  But the Pipers won.  The red-faced
		workers scrambled to replace the uniforms and equipment
		in time for the Pipers to cop the championship, 122-113.

	Ah yes....Connie Hawkins and the Pittsburgh Pipers......



	billl

Love this...gotta love this....


	May 5:
	
		Boxer Daniel Caruso was eliminated from the 1992
		New York City Golden Gloves because of a self-inflicted
		broken nose!  The jittery fighter was trying to
		pscyhe himself up for the bout by repeatedly smacking
		himself in the face with his gloves.  The contest
		had to be stopped before the opening bell ever rang
		because klutzy Caruso KO'd himself.

    
    Speaking of not selling out playoff games, Houston did NOT sell out
    their playoff game against Phoenix.  NBC made a special agreement so
    Houston would not be blacked out. How many people live in the Houston
    area anyways?
    
    Marc
    

	May 12:

		Perhaps the roughest golf course in the world is
		Yellowknife, situated in Canada's frigid Northwest
		Territories.  Golfers are faced with a course made
		entirely of sand with tiny patches of grass sproutting
		here and there.  Then there are the swarms of 
		mosquitoes and black flies -- and the thieving ravens
		which are known to swoop down and stealy shiny white
		balls despite the shouts of angry golfers.  Nests
		crammed with more than 100 balls have been found
		near the course.

	That's the reason I'm packin' when I'm golfin'.  They probably 
	never take shots you hook into the trees, just the only 300 yard
	drive you've crushed into the center of the fairway.


	billl

>	That's the reason I'm packin' when I'm golfin'.  They probably 
>	never take shots you hook into the trees, just the only 300 yard
>	drive you've crushed into the center of the fairway.

I had a boss at American Airlines who had his ball stolen by an
iguana down in Cancun one time....8^)

    And all I ever get my balls stolen by is those ball hungry high weeds
    off the sides of the fairways.
    
    JaKe
    

>    And all I ever get my balls stolen by is those ball hungry high weeds
>    off the sides of the fairways.
    
 
 Do Golf Balls shrink when you hit em' in the Pool?

 mike    

>                          -< my balls never get soft >-

That's a disease, man.  You'd better see a doctor......

    

too funny...

    > I watched David Copperfield instead.....not Steinfield [sic]
    
    Too bad for you Kev.  The first 15 minutes was about as good as TeeVEE
    gets.
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    	
    	Yabbut actually, I wouldn't_a been able to watch it (even if I knew
    it was on) 'cause I had baby detail lasted_night while Carol did some
    shopping AND as is becoming the regular situation, as soon as she
    gets 200+ feet from the house, Erin metamorphises from the "cute,
    cuddly, cooing baby into " THE BABY FROM HELL!!!!"  :*(
    
    2+ HOURS (without a break) of soprano_like screams as I musta walked
    26 miles around the kitchen floor trying to soothe her.
    
    mebbe I should get ear plugs?
    
    I remain,
    like Nancy Kerrigan - "Why Me????"
    ;^)
    Kev
    

    Kev, just put her in the crib, close the door, and turn up the TV.  
    Works for me.

    The word for today:  breathtaking!
    
    NAZZ

    Baby duty while the wife's shopping is proof positive that time is not
    linear.  5 minutes can seem like hours; a few hours might as well be a
    week.
    
    :^(
    
    
    - ACC Chris

Valium.

Youze guys is wusses...

It's easy to take care o' da kids while wifey does the shopping thang.  You 
gost to tune into them, and figure out what will divert them from what they 
are sreamin' about.  

Kev, Erin was probably pissed that you was watching Copperfield, while the 
big game between the Maple Leaves and the Sharks was on.  She was dying to 
see a few cross-checks, instead she was stuck watchin' some wierdo make his 
underwear dissapear.

HTH

=Bob=

BTW - changing her diaper more than once a day helps too...

When I'm on duty with our three kids (6, 3, and 11 months), we all sit around 
drinking beer, playing cards, and Dad cranks up the stereo.

Of course, its root beer we drink and the card game is Crazy Eights or Old 
Maid. I tried poker but its beyond them right now. They do like Black Jack 
though (the card game that is).

The cranked-up stereo is where I'm getting them brainwashed though. Kid 
favorites are Rolling Stones "Sticky Fingers" and "Exile on Main Street",
Clash's "London Calling", and Van Halen's "1984". I tried earlier Clash and Sex
Pistols but the kids just kinda looked at me like I was nuts. The baby seems to
like Muddy Waters too (she bounces up and down and gives a big grin when he
flips on the CD player). Sometimes the card game breaks into a spontaneous
dance party (dad dances like a lumbering bear).

BTW, the spousal unit hates loud music and prefers Abba, Julie Andrews, and
Olivia Newton-John. I wonder how we ever got together.

Bruce

>BTW, the spousal unit hates loud music and prefers Abba, Julie Andrews, and
>Olivia Newton-John. I wonder how we ever got together.

Nothing personal Bruce, but one wonders how you've STAYED together 8^) 8^)



Babies and wimmins love Muddy Waters....

    
    
    	Yabbut =bob=, I agree she was pissed.  It was a sopper when I
    changed it!
    
    Ya ever think that when they named that mustard "grey poop-on" they
    were thanking about the filling inside a newborne's diaper??????
    
    I remain,
    getting real good at holding my breath!  ;^)
    Kev
    

	Visions of "Mr. Mom" complete with goggles, clothespin and industrial
	strength gloves just crossed my mind.



	billl

    How anyone can waste time watching Copperfield's self-adulation
    schlock is beyond me.
    
    Mark.

	Mark, does that mean you won't be buying tix next time he's in town.


	billl

    
    
    
         Kev do this say "Karol the baby just loves being in a car", and off
    she goes! :-)
    
        Little Mark loves seeing his Dad for the first hour I'm home at
    night than he wants his mom the rest of the night.
    
    
    Chappy

Hey, Grey Poupon is great stuff.....


Marky Mark, I agree wif you -- Copperfield is a stiff who should get a life.


Nothing like a good hokey game!


'Saw

    
    
    	Yabbut Lufay, ya see, I had both arms in use.  The left one was
    under her bum and the right one was across her back.  She's a little
    twister ya see and I couldn't get to the remote control so DC had to
    stay on.  ;^)
    
    btw- they did show some pretty good stuff too - I wonder how he does
    them.
    
    I remain,
    also a fan of Mandrake the magician
    Kev
    

 if he's still dating Claudia Schieffer, I wouldn't mind having part
 of DC's life..............

 yum yum.....

 mike    

    Kev - 
    
    despite your daughter's young age, she already knows the value of a
    buck.  I paid her off.  It was payback for all the smart_a comments
    from the back of the room at my last little league meeting.
    
    /joek

    
    	Yabbut Joe,
    
    What else didja expect when ya had a_empty refridgerator?  Ya
    brought it upon yerself!
    
    ;^)
    
    I remain,
    still working on *MY* payback for the schedule you and Da Rook tossed
    me
    Kev
    

    
    
      re: Copperfield
    
     It was a timeout during the Hawks game, so I'm looking around
    and Copperfield is on. The segment I caught was the
    straightjacket routine, hanging from burning rope, suspended
    over flaming spears. Slowly, the rope burns. The cameramen seem
    to know the physics involved with burning rope, because they
    always managed to get a closeup of one of the ropes when it
    burnt through. Anyways..
    
    
    
    
      LIKE THERE'S ANY CHANCE IN HELL THAT COPPERFIELD AIN'T GONNA MAKE
    IT OUTTA THAT STRAIGHTJACKET.
    BOY I WOULD'VE LOVED TO HAVE SEEN THAT.  IMPALATION FRUSTRATION.
    LOOKIT ME MA, I'M SKEWERED ON TOPA DA WOILD. COPPERFIELD ON A STICK.
    OH YEAH, I'D PAY GOOD MONEY TO SEE THAT!!!
    
    

    
    
    	Yabbut Stevie here's a good one I saw.
    
    About 50 above DC there's a ~10' buzz saw blade.  DC is shackled at the
    ankles, beltline, 3" above the beltline, neck and wrists.  Then the
    sides of the box are closed.  They continue to show his hands as they
    close the end nearest his haid.  Then the saw starts spinning and
    slowly drops.
    
    DC's arms get free, he unlatches the sides of da box and you see him
    start to work on the shackles (total body in view), as the saw
    continues it's descent.
    
    The SAW CUT HIM IN HALF!!!!!!!!  NO CHIT!  Then the assistants pull the
    2 pieces of tables apart so's ya see the uppertorso on one and the
    lower torso on the other.  Then they turned the UT table so the haid is
    facing the severed LT abdomen.
    
    then DC kicks his feet!
    
    it was a pretty good one
    
    I remain,
    knowin he was a Noo Yawk boy too (Brooklyn)
    Kev
    
    

      DC was on Letterman the other night, and he is into himself.  Those
    were a couple babes he had wif him though...
    
      I'm glad my diaper changing days are over.  Then again that was easy
    compared to how it gets!!  Life was much simpler when I was nine,
    compared to what my 9 year goes through and of course mom and dad go
    through with her.
    
      Must be Frriday the 13th....
    
      Tim

    #27

>>    #27
	
	Take it to the JUNK note, Mac!


	billl

	May 14/15:


		"He looked like Bobby Orr out there.  Some
		 nights however, he looks like iron ore."

			-- Then Los Angeles Kings Coach Tom Webster
			   on defenseman Rob Blake.

	
	May 18:

	No one could deliberately foul off pitches as deftly as Chicago 
	White Sox shortstop Luke Appling.  The Hall of Famer fouled off an
	incredible 24 pitches in one at-bat during a 1940 game against
	the New York Yankees.  "I figured since we weren't going to win
	anyway, I'd have a little fun," said Appling, whose Sox trailed 
	8-2 when he came to the plate.  Yanks pitcher Red Ruffing walked
	Appling, then left the game with a tired arm after the batsman
	fouled off two dozen pitches and took several others.  "Red
	cussed me all the way to the dugout," laughed Appling.

	May 19:

		Developers went a bit overboard while constructing
		the Baltimore Orioles' beautiful Camden Yards stadium
		in 1991.  The team had requested bigger, more comfortable
		dugouts.  But when they were neatly completed, officials
		noticed it was difficult to see over the dugouts and
		there were fewer box seats because of them.  So workers
		spent the next eight weeks tearing up and reconstructing
		the dugouts.....

	May 21/22:

	
		"It's just a game and I'll make my four million dollars
		 whether we win or lose.  People take this stuff so
		 seriously."

			-- Charles Barkley, after the Philadelphia 76ers
				            nipped Indiana 103-100

	

	May 25:

		Stock car driver Brett Bodine thought he was on the 
		right track during a 1992 pre-race practice run when
		a young female fan leaned over the fence and began
		hollering to get his attention.  But Bodine's ego
		was deflated like a flat tire when the sexy spectator
		shouted to him: "Go down and get Richard Petty for me,
		please!"

	May 27:

		Motorcycle racer Kevin Atherton flunked the
		Michigan motorcycle driving test -- for going 
		too fast!  "I took the test on my Ducati Superbike
		and the lady told me it was too big for me and
		I should get a smaller bike," noted Atherton.  He
		received the notification of failure in the mail
		shortly after returning home from winning a 
		high-speed race in California.


	May 30:

		Frank Chance of the Chicago Cubs was hit by
		pitches a painful five times during a 1904
		doubleheader.  The gutsy first baseman was plunked
		on the face, arm and ribs in the operner, won
		by the Cincinnati Reds, 7-4.  Chance was also nailed
		by two fastballs in the nightcap, but weathered
		the assault to lead the Cubs to a 5-2 victory.  
		Obviously the Reds pitchers seldom missed a Chance
		that afternoon.

    
    
      re .-1...
    
      And he didn't charge the mound??
    
    Jerry

>      re .-1...
>    
>      And he didn't charge the mound??
>    
>    Jerry


No, because I think in those days pitchers were STUDS too.  It might have
turned into one of the bare-knuckle bouts of the century!


'Saw

June 3:

	A cow-milking contest at Pittsburgh's Three Rivers
	Stadium on this date in 1992 left loser Jay bell with
	a beef about Pirates teammate Stan Belinda.  "He used
	three teats, I used one, and I only lost by a quarter
	of an inch," lamented Bell.  But teammate Andy Van Slyke
	wasn't moo-ved by Bell.  "He lost by a quart," said
	Van Slyke.  "It wouldn't have been that close except
	Jay was pumping skim milk and Stan was doing whole milk."

    
    
     Somebody should have told Jay Bell to use his hands
    instead of his mouth.
    

	June 6:


		There will be no Sports Hall of Shame Calendar
		entry today.  Instead, this space is used
		to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of the
		D-Day Landings in Normandy.


			To you from failing hands we throw
			   the torch, be yours to hold it high.

		

	June 7:

		Minor league outfielder Marty Smith made a major
		league error in 1992 when he joked about the women
		in Hagerstown, Maryland, where he played for the
		AA franchise of the Baltimore Orioles.  Smith told
		his hometown newspaper in Pasadena, California:  "The
		joke around town is, if you can find a girl with a full
		set of teeth, you have to marry her."  The clipping
		made its way cross-country to Hagerstown, where fans
		were in an uproar.  So, for damage control, club
		officials scheduled Area Dentsts Night -- half price
		admission for denture wearers -- in honor of the
		big-mouthed ballplayer.

	June 11/12:

		"First your legs go.  Then you lose your reflexes.
		 Then you lose your friends."

				-- Featherweight Willie Pep, on the
				      three stages of boxing.



Willie Pep is a Wethersfield, CT resident (or he was last I knew).  The
sports bar where we go for lunch sometime has a display of Willie Pep
stuff -- autographed gloves and a photo.  Pretty cool.....

    
      Willie Pep vs. Sandy Sadler were some of the greatest
     fights ever. Pep is probably the greatest fighter ever 
     to come out of Connecticut with Marlon Starling a close
     second. 

>      Willie Pep vs. Sandy Sadler were some of the greatest
>     fights ever. Pep is probably the greatest fighter ever 
>     to come out of Connecticut with Marlon Starling a close
>     second. 

And I do love to watch those little guys fight.  Especially nowadays that
the heavier weight classes seem to close to WWF instead of boxing....

'Saw

    
      The smaller weight classes have always been more exciting. 
     They're quicker, they throw more punches and they don't usually
     bang as hard so they have to actually box and use strategy instead
     of trying to bomb the other guy out. Almost invariably at any
     given time when you talk about the 'best fighter pound for pound'
     it's not a heavyweight. The only recent examples that I can think
     of when this might not have been true is *maybe* (and that's a big
     maybe) Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali.

Yes, it's hard to believe how quickly those hands move sometimes.  
Unbelievable.....

	June 13:

		Baseball fans attending an Oakland Athletics game
		must have thought the scoreboard operator at the
		Coliseum was getting a bit personal with the
		sports trivia he flashed on the message board.  It
		was supposed to ask the crowd who was the record
		holder for number of bases in a single season.  But
		the embarrassing typo read:  "Who holds the record
		for the number of babes in a single season -- Hornsby,
		Musial, Ruth or Cobb?"  No doubt it was Ruth.

I take it O.J. gets it for the remainder of the week.

Paul

June 20:

	Fred Toney of the New York Giants lasted just one warmup 
	pitch before a 1919 game against the St. Louis Cardinalas
	because he was a terror at the plate -- the dinner plate!
	Prior to his scheduled start against St. Louis, the 6 foot,
	250-pound pitcher first downed a gigantic breakfast.
	Then, en route to the ballpark, Toney gobbled up hot dogs,
	soda, and ice cream.  The porky pitcher snaked on more
	hot dogs before waddling to the mound, where he let out
	a large belch, tossed a pitch, and collapsed in a heap!

June 23:

	Ed Als and Ken Germano can only wonder how big a part
	the U.S Postal Service played in their failure to make
	it to the big leagues.  An undelivered letter was returned
	to Manhanttan (N.Y.) College in 1991 -- 19 years after being
	sent ot major league scout Al Harper of the Boston Red Sox.
	It suggested he might want to pay special attention to
	Manhattan baseball players Als and Germano, who were playing
	in an all-star game in Philadelphia.

June 24:

	Hall of Famer Brooks Robinson was so sure-handed at
	third base that he was known as the "Human Vacuum
	Cleaner" while playing for the Baltimore Orioles from
	1959 to 1973.  But Robinson holds one record he'd like
	to forget.  He's the only player in the history of major
	league baseball to ever hit into four triple plays. 
	That's 12 outs in only four at bats!

June 30:

	Chevalier von Cittern compiled the sorriest average score per
	hole of any golfer in th recorded history of the game.  Playing
	at Biarritz in 1888, von Cittern shot 316 for 18 holes -- an
	awful average of 17.55 strokes per hole.

July 2/3:

	"In Czechoslovakia there is no such thing as freedom of the
	press.  In the United States there is no such thing as freedom
	from the press"

				-- Martina Navratilova

Gotta love this one.  For the Woodstock crowd:



	July 9/10:

		"I don't know.  I never smoked Astroturf."

				-- Pitcher Tug McGraw, on whether he
				   favored grass over Astroturf.

	July 26:
		Anna B. Seaton, who teamed with Stephanie Maxwell-Pierson
		to win the bronze medal in pairs rowing at hte 1992
		Olympics, had the most ap-peal-ing middle name of any
		athlete in the Games.  Seaton's parents must have been
		fans of the song "The Name Game," because her middle
		name is Banana!

>> fans of the song "The Name Game,"

	Let's do Chuck!

This is close to my heart for certain reasons, and all the Pirates fans
should love it!



	July 29:

		Pittsburgh Pirates slugger Willie Stargell tuned up
		his swing at hte 1965 All-Star game by launching a
		home run that landed in a tuba!  Stargell was facing
		Jim "Mudcat" Grant of the Minnesota Twins when he 
		swatted a pitch over the fence and into the right field
		bullpen, where a band had been playing.  The tuba player
		made the instrumental play.

	as the 'Gunner' would say:

	"Let's spread some chicken on the Hill with Will!"


	To all you non-'burgers... the 'Gunner' was the voice of the Pirates,
	the late Bob Prince.  It seemed that Willie Stargell owned a fried
	chicken resturaunt in a part of Pittsburgh called the Hill District.
	He ran a promotion during baseball season that if you were one of
	his stores when he smacked a round-tripper you got a free bucket
	of chicken.



	billl

>
>	To all you non-'burgers... the 'Gunner' was the voice of the Pirates,
>	the late Bob Prince.  It seemed that Willie Stargell owned a fried
>	chicken resturaunt in a part of Pittsburgh called the Hill District.
>	He ran a promotion during baseball season that if you were one of
>	his stores when he smacked a round-tripper you got a free bucket
>	of chicken.
>

These are the kinds of stories that intertwine baseball with the fabric
of American life.....


'Saw

 >> These are the kinds of stories that intertwine baseball with the fabric
 >> of American life.....
    
    Man overboard!
    

    Is Saw waxing (the dolphin) poetic again?
    
    Mark.

Well, I had me this vision, see, of yunz guys salivating whilst you waited for
me to toss out a sappy tidbit....


Always happy to oblige......8^)

    RE "Chicken on the Hill with Will"
    
    Stargell played in the minors for Asheville, and there was this big
    hill just past the right field fence.  Stargell cranked quite a few
    dingers onto that hill, and it got to where there came a chant when he
    got up that called for going "On the hill with Will".  When he moved up
    to the majors with the Bucs, and started the chicken thang, the Gunner
    "adapted" the "on the hill" to "chicken on the hill".
    
    Schnorttt Schittt Schleppps
    
    JaKe
    

    
        I can hardly wait to go to a party and impress everyone 
       with my knowledge of Pittsburg sports folklore.

    re.203
    
    HEY GEOGRAPHICAL MORON:
    
    Add the "H" to the city name next time er face a lawsuit!!!
    
    JaKe
    

    Re: Stargell
    
    But Jake,isn't there a Hill section in Pittsburgh where Stargell did a
    lot of work with disadvantaged youth?

    
    
      This is where I wish that I could remember that Groucho Marx
     line about Pittsburg from A Day At The Races. Suffice it to say 
     that it wasn't flattering.

    
    	You have to get invited to a party first Tommy.
    
    Claybone

    
    >>  <<< Note 154.205 by OPTION::LAZARUS "David Lazarus @KYO,323-4353" >>>
    >>                               -< Hill >-

    >>Re: Stargell
    
    >>But Jake,isn't there a Hill section in Pittsburgh where Stargell did a
    >>lot of work with disadvantaged youth?

    True.  But I was just stating that the reference to a "hill" with
    Stargell started out in Asheville.
    
    Personally, I think the bucs should jerk Stargell straight outta
    Atlanta and back into the Bucs offices in some capacity.
    
    JaKe
    
    

    I invited  him, but he didn't show... that's ok, I'll forgive him..
    

	

	July 30/31:

		"The word genius isn't applicable in football.
		 A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein"

				-- Football commentator and former
				   player Joe Theismann

	Aug 6/7:

		"There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball.
	  	 Unfortunately, neither of them works."

				-- Hitting instructor Charlie Lau

    Ref Norman Einstein - 
    
    This isn't such a dumb statement after all.  Norman Einstein was a very
    smart student who attended school with Joe T.  That is who he was
    referring to when he made the statement, but most people thought it was
    a dumb jock joke.
    
    Lee

>    Ref Norman Einstein - 
>    
>    This isn't such a dumb statement after all.  Norman Einstein was a very
>    smart student who attended school with Joe T.  That is who he was
>    referring to when he made the statement, but most people thought it was
>    a dumb jock joke.
    


Thanks for that piece of trivia, Lee.  I know that is going to come in
handy sometime....seriously.


'Saw

September 28


	Umpire Doug Harvey ejected St. Louis Cardinals manager Joe
	Torre during a 1992 baseball game -- after asking Torre to
	argue with him.  It was a farewell ceremony of sorts for the
	ump, who was retiring after 31 years.  "He said I was the first
	guy he ever threw out," Torre said, "and he wanted me to be
	the last."  When he came out to change one of his pitchers,
	Torre heard Harvey say, "I wish you'd yell at me."  Torre fulfilled
	Harvey's wish and was gratefully tossed.

I didn't catch it from my Sports Hall of Shame Calendar, but:


	On this day in 1954, Willie Mays made his famous over-the-shoulder
	catch against Vic Wertz in the WS.


	Also, Horatio Nelson was born on this day a long time ago...(1758)


'Saw

    Saw,
    
    Why is Willie's catch in the Shame calendar?
    
    Lee

>    Saw,
>    
>    Why is Willie's catch in the Shame calendar?
>    
>    Lee

Lee, 

I said it wasn't -- I found it in another calendar....

    Oops, I missed that line.  Sorry.

Gotta love this one:



	Dec 2:
		Walt Stack of San Francisco had run 150 marathons
		by the time he reached the age of 85 in 1991.  The
		amazing oldster told a reporter he trained every
		morning by running 17 miles and swimming 30 minutes
		in the Bay.  The impressed interviewer commented:
		"Boy, that water's got to be cold in December -- how
		do you keep your teeth from chattering?"  Without batting
		an eye, Stack responded:  "I just leave them in the locker."

Beautiful!  I'll send that on to a former colleague (took the package
in August), who at the age of 48 just had all of his teeth removed.
You know, "look on the bright side".

Steve

    
    
    	I beleive Runners World did a story on Walt Stack a couple of years 
    ago. As I remember it, once he broke his collar bone and he never
    stopped morning run/swim workout during his recovery....
    
    	I'll dig through my RW collection to see if I can find the
    article...
    
    JimH
    

Some of these older folks are unbelievable.

I don't know his name, but there was a 76 year old guy who finished
(ie within the official time limit) the Ironman Triathalon.

I mean, he FINISHED.  That is incredible to me....


'Saw

    	We have a fella who does the Carlisle, MA, time trial
    	(bicycle) and beats people in their 20's. Bob Holdsworth
    	is 75.
    
    	I remember one of the young guys saying, "Well, he was
    	right in front of me until we got to that hill. Then he
    	just rode away from me."
    
    	Scott

    WBZ-TV Boston did a feature recently on an 80-year young woman who 
    still rows competively in the Head of the Charles Regatta.
    
    Mark.

Reviewing a few:

	December 13:

		Three members of the Denver Broncos were wired with
		microphones during the 1991 season so that live-action	
		sounds could be used for a highlight video  One of the
		best exchanges came during the AFC championshipo game with	
		the Buffalo Bill.  When Broncos cornerback Tyrone Braxton
		made a hard hit, a Bills running back was heard calling
		him a "bleeping idiot."  Braxton, who was carrying a live
		mike, didn't dare swear back.  He responded with:  "Big
		Dummy!"


	December 14:

		After battling through three overtime periods in a college
		basketball game on this date in 1923, the Wisconsin
		Badgers and DePauw Tigers got tired of playing -- so they
		called it quits and went home.  As a result, the game ended
		in a bizarre 25-25 tie.  With players from both schools
		complaining of exhaustion, coaches Walter Meanwell of 
		Wisconsin and J.N. Ashmore of DePauw agree to turn out the
		gym lights and leave.

	December 15:

		During a 1991 NFL game at the Houston Astrodome, a die-hard
		fan of both the Houston Oilers and children's author 
		Dr. Seuss showed his dislike for the Cincinnati Bengals
		and head coach Sam Wyche with a banner that read: "We don't
		like your Bengal clan.  We don't like you Sam I sam.  We can
		beat them at their home.  We can beat them in the dome.  We
		can beat them here or there.  We can beat them anywhere."

	December 19:
		
		The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame received a lot of criticism
		after accepting a bid to play in the 1992 Sugar Bowl.  Coach
		Lou Holtz, who guided the Irish to a 9-3 record, was in a 
		New Orleans restaurant before the big game when he heard the
		joke: "What's the difference between Notre Dame and Cheerios?
		Cheerios belong in a bowl."  The Fighting Irish responded with
		a 39-28 victory over the favored University of Florida -- and
		received 120 boxes of Cheerios from manufacturer General Mills.

 Lou, probably sent the Cheerios back, had the manufacture put his name
 on the box and then gave them out as Christmas presents.........

 mike

|	joke: "What's the difference between Notre Dame and Cheerios?
|	Cheerios belong in a bowl."  The Fighting Irish responded with

Some thangs never change...

    
    |       joke: "What's the difference between Notre Dame and Cheerios?
    |       Cheerios belong in a bowl."  The Fighting Irish responded with
    
    >Some thangs never change...
    
    	Yep, Notre Dame in another upset.  They always do well in this type
    of bowl; I remember them beating BC and Flutie in some 2nd rate bowl.
    
    billte

    
    
           Good Grief! On this date in 1993, comic strip character Charlie
    Brown ended a 43 year drought on the baseball diamond when he belted a
    game winning home run and unexpectedly led his team of misfits to
    victory.
    
    
    
    :-)

I think Revelations discussed this.

Or maybe Nostradamus.

TTom