Conference hbahba::cam_sports

But firsted of all, is Santa gonna be wearing women's underwear?

TTom

    I won't sit on yer lap, but...
    
    - May the Suns meet the Celtics in the NBA finals.
    - ASU winning the PAC-10 and Rose Bowl next year.
    - UA losing to Santa Clara again
    
    and last but not least...
    
    Tommy needs a life.

    My wishes:
    
    For the Pirates---mucho help for the Bullpen.
    Steelers---consistency, especially on the offensive line where it has
    	       lacked...better special teams play, and consistency for Neil
    	       O'Donnell, who fer 8 games a year looks lousy, and 8 games 
    	       looks great.
    For the Mucking Fets---a year JUST LIKE THIS PAST SEASON.
    For the Brown(spot)s(tm)--continued progress just like they've made the
    	       past few games, namely KEEP BACKSLIDING!!
    
    For the SPORTSnoters--Prosperity, good health.
    
    JaKe
    
    
    

Yeah, Santa, give that Knorr guy another decade of Dean. Just like the
70s would be fine.

TTom

    >>           <<< Note 149.4 by RHETT::KNORR "Carolina Blue" >>>
    >>                      -< Another decade of Dean. >-
    
    OK, now wish for something GOOD for North Carolina, you've made yer
    hate wish.
    
    JaKe
    

    I just want some hockey pucks.
    
    I want peace on earth and more BLOOD AT HOCKEY GAMES!
      
    
    
    Thankyouforyoursupport.
    
    Gin

    I wish that Bill Laimbeer would come back for one more game against
    the Celtics and take care of bidness..
    

     ....for a Cowboys ThreePeat  :-)

another healthy kid born hmmm..let's see....Wednesday DEC 22nd would be
fine...A nice quick labor for the wife please...


A Mariners AL West title..Griffey .jr breaks Maris home run record...

A  Sonics Vs. the Rockets Western conference final (after the sonics knock off
the suns in 4 straight) with the Sonics winning a dramatic game 7 on a perkins
3 pointer....The NBA championship will be an after affect as the West begins a
decade of superiority...

The Red Sox get a good GM and start a rebuilding effort in earnest to give
Clemens a shot at another world series before he burns out...

A return of Clemens to 1991 form...

And the pipe dream...

  DEC's return to mid eighties prosperity...

Metz

    That Bobby Hurley will make it through...
    
                         stig

A HoF place for John Elway as the greatest QB ever to play the game. 




A new position inside Digital. I'm tired of bending over and grabbing my ankles
A Giants loss in the Superbowl 63-3
A Bronco win against the Raiders for the next 10 years straight
Peace and prosperity for all the Sportsters. 

Jeff

    
>>A HoF place for John Elway as the greatest QB ever to play the game. 
    
    I just called Santa with this one, and he was laughing so hard he
    pulled a rib muscle and may have to go on IR this year and send
    somebody in his place.
    
    
    (8^)*
    
    JaKe
    

      The Broncos to win a SB!
    
      Bill McCartney to get a clue.
    
      Tim

    
    For....the Rangers to win the Stanley Cup.
    For....the Red sox to Win the WS sometime in the next 5 years.
    For....The Cubs to Win the WS sometime in the next 5 years.
    
    and Finally. (I know it's been said quite alot lately)
    
    For....The Broncos to Win the Superbowl.  Crushing the Cowboys, or 
           Mauling the 49ers.  or better yet. Beating the NY Giants 60-3
    	   (Take that Dan Reeves...It's not the Qb it's the Coach!!!)
    
    I know, I know i should wish for something more realistic like the
    winning Lotto numbers. ;)
    
    Rob M.
     

Dear Santa,

Here's some things I want for Christmas, for other folks:


	o I'd like for Susan Powter, of "Stop the Madness" fame, to
	  get some hair. 

	o I'd like for Michael Jackson to get a face that doesn't
	  look like Nosferatu.

	o I'd like a razor for Dick Button -- he scares me with that
	  beard.

	o I'd like for Todd Christenson's broadcast partner to get
	  a word in edgewise.

	o I'd like for Conan O'Brien to go gently into that good night.

	o I'd like for Lowell Weicker to get a clue -- a BIG clue.

	o I'd like Dennis Hopper to have some peace, so he doesn't
	  hear those footsteps.....8^)


Here's some things I'd like for me:

	o For all my friends to be happy, healthy, warm, comfortable,
	  and have lots and lots of sex.

	o For Rusty to win the Daytona 500 this year, AND the championship.

	o I'd like to run the 40 in under 4.8 seconds -- just once.

	o I'd like to feel like I'm growing in this job, instead of
	  stagnating....

	o I'd like to make a difference in one person's life.....

	o For me to shoot well enough to qualify for the Rifle Team in
	  January.


Thanks Santa,
'Saw



PS  I have a few names for your "lump of coal" list.....

    
    
       *  Wade Boggs to retire or get traded.
       *  Yankees win the WS in 7 over Atlanta getting 7 earned runs off
    Maddux in game seven with none out in the first.
       *  A new Offensive coordinator for the Raiders.
       *  Donnie Baseball to hit .334 35 dingers and 123 Ribbies.
       *  Thurman Munson make it to the HOF
       *  Continued enjoyment watching the Sox suck the big one year after
    year.
       ________________________________________________________________
    
        * A healthy (boy) born in late January.
        * To stay on my diet for another 40 lbs
        * For Danielle's Barney doll to get Laryngitis (sp) on Dec 26th.
        * For the Mass Millions tonight coming out. 3-5-19-24-27-28....
        * For everyone in the world to get there Christmas wishes,(as long
    as they don't intrude on mine) :-)
    
    
    Chappy

Here's a few

In da woild of sprots:

 o I'd like Pat Riley's hair to fall out.
 o I'd like the Boston Marathon to get a national TV contract, and move the race
   to Sunday, so I could do the ::SPROTS thang at the Red Sox game.
 o I'd like Pat Riley's teef to fall out.
 o I'd like the Packers to play up to their potential, except for Farve, who
   needs to play over his haid.
 o I'd like Pat Riley's voice to fail - forever.
 o I'd like the Celtics to get a lottery pick.
 o I'd like Bobby Hurley to recover fully, even if he never plays hoop again.

For me:

 o I'd like another healthy, happy year for the McCulloughCluster (TM to
   BobHunt).
 o I'd also like my career to get back on track, and to be challenged for a
   change. Or alternately, I'd like to win Megabucks.
 o I'd like a way-cool year for all the ::SPROTsters

=Bob=

    
    Just one: a Cleveland Indians World Series victory.
    
    Joe
    
    
    
    
    OK, actually two: for Michael Jordan to enjoy retirement so much that
    he never plays another NBA game.

> o I'd like Pat Riley's hair to fall out.

Sounds like Santa could work something out here, with Pat and Susan Powter...

|> o I'd like Pat Riley's hair to fall out.|
|
|Sounds like Santa could work something out here, with Pat and Susan Powter...

Yabut you could never get the axle grease out of Pat's hair for anyone else 
to use it.

    Dear Santa:
    
    Please give my 15 year old an additional 4-5 inches in height.  He's
    afraid he's stopped growing at 5-9.
    
    Please keep all my family healthy and happy.
    
    Please let some beside Joe Burris at the Boston Globe acknowledge
    that the state university's basketball team deserves equal coverage 
    to their precious Boston College.
    
    Please let Dean lose in the first round in the NCAA tourney to some 
    school nobody has ever heard of.
    
    Please bring some excitement to the NFL.
    
    Please add a couple of zeroes to my checking account.
    
    Thanks.
    
    NAZZ
    
    

    >    Please add a couple of zeroes to my checking account.
    
    just write in a couple leading zeros yourself.

    
    Dear Santa,
    
    	Give me the strength to stay off the dip.  I've been 4 days now
    	without nicotine and I think my haid is gonna 'splode!  :*(
    
    Claybone

�    I wish that Bill Laimbeer would come back for one more game against
�    the Celtics and take care of bidness..

	Better wait until next year when the only 00 you'll see will be up 
in the rafters.  Unless of course Laimbrain is a masochist...

				/Don   

    For the long suffering people of Denver, and John Elway, a Super Bowl
    victory.
    
    For Illinois Defense, please give them an offense.
    
    For the Cubbies offense, some pitching.
    
    For Lou Henson - a FF victory.
    
    For me - a HotBabe (TM).
    
    Murph
    

1. see p_name
2. Rangers win a Stanley Cup
3. Celtics to finish just out of the lottery and lose in round 1 of the playoffs
   for the next 10-20 years


4. good year for all ::sprotsters

The Crazy Met

    For Christmas I'd like

      o For Mike Heiser to get some help for that fixation that he has
        with Hillary Clinton's sex life. It's kind of scary.

      o The Patriots to stay put.

      o For TCM to show up at a get together and after he's had a couple 
        *not* ask every woman in the place if he reminds them of Eric Estrada.
        That really annoys me.

      o For Vincent Brown to get the Pro Bowl berth that he deserves.

      o For someone to tell me that I'm not the only one who thinks that
        Frank Way looks like a chunky version of the cowboy guy in the 
        Village People.

      o For Mo Vaugh to have an even better year this year than he did
        last year.

      o A 1959 white on white Cadillac Eldorado convertible in mint condition.

      o A new copy of  "A Phil Spector Christmas". Mine is warped.

      o For Kev Farley to realize his lifelong dream of playing the bongos in
        Tito Puentes' salsa band.

    

    
    >>	o For all my friends to be happy, healthy, warm, comfortable,
    >>	  and have lots and lots of sex.
    
    Well, I'm already reaping the benefits of the above wish.  Just don't
    let my wife know!!!   (8^)*
    
    HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
    
    Santa_JaKe
    

    
    
    1.		AB   R   H  2B  3B  HR  RBI  AVG
        	75  35  45  15  3   2   28   .600 
    
    2. A .998 fielding average, and no reoccurance of that friggin' heel
       spur.
    
    3. Job security and tranquility.
    
    4. Patience and the grace to endure when by August, I am hitting .226,
    have made 3 errors in my last 3 games, am hitting 8th in the lineup,
    and am in danger of being TFSOd.  
    
    Kat
    
    
    

>3. Celtics to finish just out of the lottery and lose in round 1 of the playoffs
>   for the next 10-20 years
>4. good year for all ::sprotsters
    
    There's a conflict here for at least this year.
    
    Tommy, I had a '59 Caddy all wrapped up and ready to go for ya until
    you made that crack.  I think the Village People are more interested.

I'm not a Village People, and I don't even play one on TV, but Santa would
be the first to tell you that the Village People are people too.....


'Saw

    But were you in Wayne's World II?
    

>   <<< Note 149.33 by GWEN::ASHE "I ring my 'lil bell on the sidewalk..." >>>
>
>    But were you in Wayne's World II?

Not on screen, but I was Tia Carrere's dresser.....


8^)
    

    Just checking.... (disclaimer here)
    
    There is a scene when him and his buddies are dressed like a cop, a
    telephone worker, a cowboy and cycle dude... and they wind up in this
    bar called the "Tool Box" and wind up on stage.
    

    
>>Not on screen, but I was Tia Carrere's dresser.....
    
	Yabbut does that mean she put her panties in your drawers?????
    
    
    	Sheesh, just what the ::Lockerroom needs, a cross-dresser......
    
    	:*0
    
    	I remain,
        wishing I was the chair she sat on!
    Kev
    

>>>Not on screen, but I was Tia Carrere's dresser.....
>    
>	Yabbut does that mean she put her panties in your drawers?????
>    
>    
>    	Sheesh, just what the ::Lockerroom needs, a cross-dresser......
    
In the theater (and I suppose in movies too), stars had "dressers".

The dresser was the person responsible for getting the stars costumes
laid out, and assisting with changes.

It's probably not as critical in movies, but costume changes in the 
theater can have to be done in as little as 30 seconds, and are sometimes
choreographed as intensely as anything on stage....


I had to take a theater course in college, and it turned out to be far
more interesting than I anticipated, as we studied everything from
certain pivotal plays that affected the way theater progressed from there
onward, to other things like lighting, sets and props, and makeup.

'Saw

    >	Yabbut does that mean she put her panties in your drawers?????
    
    you know, the ones her mother laid out?

|    >	Yabbut does that mean she put her panties in your drawers?????
|    
|    you know, the ones her mother laid out?
|

A CLASSIC line......

Costume changes in theatre do need to be done very quickly. Often we added in
an extra bit of props for a scene to give people that extra 3-5 seconds to
do a change. Backstage during a performance can be a real circus - all kinds of
stuff going on with very little lighting available and no noise allowed.

Fun stuff, actually.

The Crazy Met

    
    
    	Yabbut do these theatre courses cover the proper way to get into 
    a roll to wash yer hands or do they just let ya do it in a
    willy-nilly or surrealistic way?  Is it real soap or theatrical grade?
    
    Mindless curiousity about thesbian behavior......
    
    I remain,
    remembering my role in the kolledge play "The Boy Friend"
    Kev
    

>    	Yabbut do these theatre courses cover the proper way to get into 
>    a roll to wash yer hands or do they just let ya do it in a
>    willy-nilly or surrealistic way?  Is it real soap or theatrical grade?
    
Mine had very little to do with acting.  In fact, we did none at all in
the course.   The only acting I've ever done was in Shakespeare class in
High School.  


The lighting part fascinated me, especially how different things look
in pure green light as opposed to pure read light or pure blue light.
It was cool.

And I liked the part where we went up on the catwalks and saw how things
are done up there....

'Saw

Kev, nah you learn that kind of stuff, how to fall, playing dead - though I
know some people who don't need lessons, if ya know what I mean - in rehersal.

The Crazy Met

    Delivery of packaged goods from Korea.
    
    Mark.

    Noters to use appropriate topics and conferences for their replies.

re: .45

a classic.

The devil himself couldn't getcha that one.

The Crazy Met

    >    Noters to use appropriate topics and conferences for their replies.
    
    you mean like when you talked about cable and satellite TV in the Suns
    topic?

I don't think Mac has been a good enough boy all year to ask for such
an expensive gift from Santa Claus.....


8^)

�    you mean like when you talked about cable and satellite TV in the Suns
�    topic?
    
    No, since I was answering your question regarding the Suns and PPV.

  Dear Santa,

	I've got a good wife and 2 small kids that I love very much. Plus,
  I still have a job so you don't need to put anything in my stocking
  this year. However, the folks back in Pittsburgh sure could use a big
  time wide receiver who could help the Steelers make it to the big dance.
  And yes, Santa, Charles Johson will do just fine.

	Oh, BTW, you don't put too much coal in Tom Osborne's stocking
  this year. He'll feel bad enough after the Orange Bowl.

	Keith

    
    	....or Mikey Westbrook.

Thanks to Kevin Neuzil who sent me this:
    
    JaKe
    
    
    
    
David Letterman's top ten list from 12-3-1993:



				Top 10
			Signs You've Hired A Bad
			 Department Store Santa
			~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


10. He wears the Santa costume all year round.

 9. Tells sales girls that "Me & Mrs. Claus have an understanding"

 8. After every toy request says "Yeah, right"

 7. Tries unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he's wearing handcuffs.

 6. Charges $5.95 for the first minute, $2.95 each additional minute.

 5.Every day around 10 A.M., throws up on the down escalator.

 4. Keeps sending elves out for more vermouth.

 3. Whether they want it or not, gives every kid a crew cut.

 2. Keeps reminiscing about his Vice Presidency under George Bush.

 1. He's packing heat.

    
    
    >> Do I fit any of these???????
    
     One was forgotten...
    
    
    
    11. Informs Sprots Noters his sex life has improved since having
        children sit on his lap.
    
    

|10. He wears the Santa costume all year round.
| 9. Tells sales girls that "Me & Mrs. Claus have an understanding"
| 8. After every toy request says "Yeah, right"
| 7. Tries unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he's wearing handcuffs.
| 6. Charges $5.95 for the first minute, $2.95 each additional minute.
| 5.Every day around 10 A.M., throws up on the down escalator.
| 4. Keeps sending elves out for more vermouth.
| 3. Whether they want it or not, gives every kid a crew cut.
| 2. Keeps reminiscing about his Vice Presidency under George Bush.
| 1. He's packing heat.


Pasty white thighs, you've got those pasty white thighs.......


'Saw


(I hope I don't owe an ASCAP payment now)

    Hey, stop bendin' da shafts!!!

    A little Santa Humor:
    
    
    Seems Santa went into one house lasted year, and when he emerged from
    the chimney, this young lady, clad in a negligee and sheer robe stood
    before him.  Whe immediately hugged him and said, "Santa, won't you
    stay for a while and we can have some fun?"  
    
    Santa replied, "Ho-Ho-Ho, gotta go, gotta get the toys to the children,
    you know."
    
    She removed the robe, and hugged him harder, again asking him to stay
    and "have fun."
    
    Again he replied, "ho-Ho-Ho, gotta go, gotta get the toys to the
    children, you know."
    
    She removed the negligee, leaving on only a thin pair of panties, and
    again, hugged him tight and asked him to stay and enjoy the night with
    her.
    
    Santa replied, "Ho-Ho-Ho, gotta go, gotta get the toys to the children,
    you know."
    
    She removed the rest of her clothing, and again hugged him, and again
    pleaded with him to stay.
    
    This time Santa replied:
    
    "Hey-Hey-Hey
    
    Gotta Stay
    
    Can't get up the chimney
    
    with my pecker this way!!!!!!"
    
    
    
    Santa_JaKe
    

 Well, you did say "a little".

    What does MJ have to do with Santa, Heiser????
    
    At least keep it related to the topic!!!!!!
    
    JaKe
    

    I want to personally thank you for that.  The soda has cleared out my
    nose better than any meds I have taken in days.
    
    Gin

    thanks; between that and the old T-man stuff been fun reading.
    Mac must have already left for OPP.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

	
	Revised 'Night Before Xmas'


         It was the night before Christmas, and one thing was clear
                That old yuletide spirit no longer was here.
           Unemployment keeps rising, the crime rate is tripling;
               'Boomers elected, and our taxes are crippling;

              I poured some Jack Daniel's as I watched the TV,
                  Where Donny sang "O Holy Night" to Marie
            The kids were in bed, getting sleep like they should,
              Or else they left home, which was almost as good.

              My wife, with her ball-point, was making a fuss;
            About folks we sent cards to, who'd sent none to us.
           "Those ingrates", she thundered, and pounded her fist,
          "Next year you can bet they'll be crossed off our list!"

                When out in our yard came a deafening blare,
           'Twas our burglar alarm, and I hollered, "Who's there?"
            I turned on the searchlight, which lit up the night,
              And armed with my handgun beheld a strange sight,

             Some Red-Suited Clown, with a white beard immense,
               Was caught in my eight-foot electrified fence;
             He called out, "I'm Santa! I bring you no malice!"
               Said I, "If you're Santa, I'm Telly Savalles."

                But, lo, as his presence grew clearer to me,
                I saw in the glare that it might just be he!
              I called off my Rottweiler, clawing his sleigh,
              And frisking him twice said, "I think he's okay."

               I led him inside, where he slumped in a chair,
               And he told me the following tale of despair,
             "On Christmas eves past I was jolly and chuckling,
             But now 'neath the pressures I fear I am buckling."

           "You'll note I've arrived with no reindeer this year,
            And without them my sleigh is much harder to steer;
               Although I would like to continue to use them,
                The wildlife officials believe I abuse them."

               "To add to my problem, Ralph Nader dropped by;
                And told me my sleigh was unsafe in the sky.
             I now must wear seatbelts, despite my objections,
           And bring the sleigh in twice a year for inspections."

              "Last April my workers came forth with demands,
                And I soon had a general strike on my hands;
                 I couldn't afford to pay unionized elves,
               So the missus and I did the work by ourselves."

               "And then, later on, came additional trouble;
               An avalanche left my fine workshop in rubble,
            But my Stallstate Insurance was worthless, because,
           They had shrewdly slipped in a 'No avalanche' clause."

                  "Then, after that, came an I.R.S. audit;
               The government claimed I was out to defraud it.
                    They finally nailed me for 65 grand;
           Which I paid through the sale of my house and my land."

              "And yet I persist, though it gives me a scare,
            Flying blind through the blanket of smog in the air;
          Not to mention the street gangs, who fill me with dread,
               Taking shots at my sleigh as I pass overhead."

           "My torn-up red suit, and these bruises and swellings,
               I got fighting muggers in subsidized dwellings.
               And if you should ask why I'm glowing tonight,
               It's from flying too close to a nuclear site."

            Then he arose from his chair and heaved a great sigh,
           Though I couldn't help notice a small tear in his eye;
             "I've tried", he declared, "To reverse each defeat,
                But I fear that today I've become obsolete."

             He slumped out the door, and returned to his sleigh
               And with these final words he went his own way;
                "No longer can I do the job that's required,
              "I'm going to call Clinton and try to get hired."


            ___________________________________________________

    
    
       Santa this is what I want!!
    
    
    1 Either a Bear or a Raider win on Saturday or both!!!
    
    2 Quick trip in and out of Logan Saturday night!!
    
    3 Alan Iverson to pass the ball to Othella more.
    
    4 Rasheed to turn pro after this year so I can like him again.
    
    5 A new coach for the Raiders.....
    
    6 Jack Mcdowell to be good enough to make the 40 man roster....
    
    7 Thurman to be put in the HOF
    
    8 Donnie to get his ring (1 more than Yaz and Teddy btw)
    ===================================================================
    
    A better year financially for the Chappy's
    Marky to learn how to catch a football 1 handed before he's 2..
    No car bumps this year
    And may all my SportsNoter pals and former Sportsnoter pals to have
    great years!!
    
    Chap
    
    
    

  >   8 Donnie to get his ring (1 more than Yaz and Teddy btw)    
    
    Yabbut, ast least they have had chances to play for the ring, unlike
    Donnie chokebawl.

  Dear Santa,

	For Chris Berman of ESPN, please give him a hot date that "Could
  goooo Allll the Waaaaay"

	Keith

Re .63
    
>       Santa this is what I want!!
        
>    6 Jack Mcdowell to be good enough to make the 40 man roster....

Don't worry, Chap, I guarantee it.  Assuming you can sign him.
    
>    7 Thurman to be put in the HOF

I woulda got real upset by this a year or two back, but if Phil
Rizzuto is in there, it doesn't mean enough any more to get bent
out of shape about.
    
>    8 Donnie to get his ring (1 more than Yaz and Teddy btw)

I could go for this, but first George Steinbrenner has to sell
the Yanks.
    
>    A better year financially for the Chappy's

And all worthy Digits.

>    Marky to learn how to catch a football 1 handed before he's 2.

Or to become a switch-hitting catcher (takes care of the previous
wish, down the line).

>    And may all my SportsNoter pals and former Sportsnoter pals to have
>    great years!!

I'll drink to that!

Steve