Conference back40::soapbox

I had a picnic lunch planned but it's going to rain.

    That's easy. The thing that makes me gak is the guy who
    sits near me who's been trying every 15 minutes (for the
    last year) to hawk up a lungy.

    Almost like clockwork:

    	SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT.

    Real pleasant. Almost as much fun as the whacked out guy
    I used to work with who would stand up, stick his hand
    down the back of his pants, scratch his ass for a few
    minutes, and then carefully inspect anything that was
    left over on his fingernails.

    -b

    Showing up for work.

    
    Thank you, Jack 8^).

 TTMYG anyday....olives

Oh, nay, sir!

Olives are wonderful little things. Black, green, Spanish, calmata, Greek,
anchovy stuffed, almond stuffed, onion stuffed, jalopeno stuffed, you name
it. I could live on olives.

I'll take your share.

    A "Jalepeno Bunyon Burger" which is what they are actually serving in
    our cafeteria today.
    
    JTH  

    
    BTW - the same guy I mentioned in .2 also had another charming
    trait. He had some skin disease and he would pick the skin off
    his behind (or wherever else he could find it) and form a little
    mound of it on the table at meetings. He would occupy his time
    by arranging the pile(s) with a business card.
    
    I kid you not. This guy worked with me at Computer Devices
    in Burlington Mass from 1981 to 1983. His name was Bob (last
    name withheld to protect the guilty) and he lived in Marlboro.
    
    He was something else. The best part was how upset he got when
    his wife left him! Boy, that was a real shocker! :-) :-) :-)
    
    -b

 re .6  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK

People who misspell jalape�o.

    <-- I hate it when they pronounce it wrong even more.

Hallopeenyo, No?

    
    
    	gee -b....thanks for sharing.  And I was just heading
    	up to lunch.  bleah.
    

    You say um right way Jack.
    
    Onondaga

    
    
    TTMYGT: People who pick their nose while driving
    on the highway, thinking that noone will notice.
    I've got news for them......
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
                       I   S E E   Y O U ! ! ! ! ! 
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    
    TTMYGT:
    
    	Supposed adults who no only piss on the toilet seat, but somehow
    manage to crap on it too. Yech...good thing I look before I sit....
    
    
    jim

    It is what people do after they pick their nose that can make you
    heave.
    
    JTH

    -b, that was great!  It definitely beats out my entry here, the guy
    I used to work with who'd squeeze part of his face between his thumb
    and his index finger, and then he'd smell his thumb and finger to find
    out what he'd brought up, if anything. The funny thing is that he'd do
    the post-pinch smell in a studiedly casual way, sort of passing his
    hand under his nose as if it were on the way to somewhere else.  But
    it was incredibly obvious, and I'd almost be in tears trying to hold
    back the laughter.
    
    Bon appetit,
    Chris

    
    Oh great. First thing I've ever won, and this is it! :-)
    
    I suppose if my luck holds up, the IRS will pick my return
    to audit! :-)
    
    -b

    TTMYG all day, every day 
    
    - Barry Manifold
    - Lima beans
    - Duets 
    

I'm so glad I started this topic . . . . . 

    
    
    I hope you all don't think about Brian's coworker the next time you
    sprinkle parmesian cheese on your pasta.  Or worse, have it out at a
    restaurant and then wonder if this guy or one of his family members 
    works in the kitchen.
    
    

>    - Duets 

	I take offense to that.  I try to do at least one duet at karaoke.

ME

I've got you to hold my hand.
				I've got you to understand.
I've got you to <something, something>.
				I've got you to <something, something>.
[together:] I've got you babe. [doo doo]  I've got you babe. [doo doo]  

    [doo doo], how appropriate...

>I've got you to hold my hand.
>				I've got you to understand.
>I've got you to <something, something>.
>				I've got you to <something, something>.
>[together:] I've got you babe. [doo doo]  I've got you babe. [doo doo]  

It goes:
I've got you to hold my hand.
				I've got you to understand.
I've got you to walk with me.
				I've got you to talk to me.
I got you to kiss goodnight.
				I got you to hold me tight.
I go you, I won't let go.
				I got you to love me so. [doo doo]
[together:] I've got you babe. [doo doo]  I've got you babe. [doo doo] ... 

    > I ought to know, done it 5 times w/2 different partners
    
    Yeah, but have you ever sung a duet?
    
    -b

:-)

ME

I got you to hold my hand.
I got you to understand.
I got you.  I won't let go.
I got you to love me so.

I got you babe...doo...doo...

So Judge, when are you running for Congress?

We shall see.  When the time is right.

ME

	Terrie, I'd rather it be the guy on the highway
	than a guy in a meeting with me.
	
	I had to sit directly across from a guy that way blatantly
	picking his nose during a 2 hour meeting.  Once I saw that,
	I had to stare straight down at my notebook the rest of the
	meeting.

	GAK

	BTW, -b, there's a snorter like that in our group.  He's like
	that every single day, only he doesn't confine himself to his
	office.  He takes his snorts on walks through the hall so we
	can all GAK!

    
    Oh joy, a mobile snorter! :-)
    

    Ooh- do they have the strings and wires hanging out of their nose?
    yeew!

    >Ooh- do they have the strings and wires hanging out of their nose?
    >yeew!
    
    That kinda reminds me of the sculpture of a sneeze
    my cousin did for his art class...
    
    -b

    	I found a dead bird in the butt hut this morning...Looked
    	like it flew into the windows.
    
    	chirp chirp chirp - bonk!!!

salad.  Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!
(unless you're talking about the pop group, in which case PHWOOOOOOOOARRRR)

Chris.

    Enlighten me, what is a "butt hutt"?
    
    JTH
    
    

    > Enlighten me, what is a "butt hutt"?
    
    I don't know... should we be asking Glen about this? :-)
    
    -b

    	A butt hut can only be found in HLO. It is where the smokers
    	have to go light up. It can be found 100' from the entrances.
    	That's outside, it looks like a typical bus stop glass walls
    	metal bench, ect... 

    It's like Pizza Hut only it's for butts and hutt is spelt wrong.

    Yeah, like Pizza Hut but different.

I guess `butt hut' could be another name for the bog.

Chris.

    	"butt hut" � now I can spell it any way I want...

    
    HOW can SALAD make one gak?!  Salad is ambrosia, the nectar of the
    Gods, bla bla bla.

    
    Teddy Salad?
    

    	How about when the leaves get all slimey and then you find 
    	something burrowed into the head *&^%$

>    HOW can SALAD make one gak?!  Salad is ambrosia, the nectar of the
>    Gods, bla bla bla.

who are you trying to kid?!  Curry and pizzas, on the other hand...

Chris.

    
    Well, I _do_ have kind of a thing for Pizzeria Uno pizza...hmm.

    
    They just build a PU near me, but I haven't checked out
    whether it's avec or sans vibrators.
    

    
    Ooh, let me know asap 8^).

    	Salad?  I remember in college eating dinner with a bunch of
    	people, and one complained that the salad seemed chewy.  Finally
    	she realized that she was chewing on a used band-aid that must
    	have come from the cook's finger while he was making the salad...

    
    
    
    		eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
    

    
    	That's gross, but I'm ROLLING!!
    
    	And FWIW, I love salad too.
    

    TTMMGT: this topic 

    
    
    on the snorter... so am i to understand nothing could be
    done about this? where's HR when you need them? I mean this
    was stretching "diversity tolerance" really thin, no. His
    mgr didn't do/say anything?

    Das gross mister!

yeauuuurgh, that really *was* gross.

Chris.

    
    I made someone *GAK* once. :*)  This guy would NOT leave me alone
    in a bar once.  I tried to tell him I was with someone, but he did
    not care.  When my female friend came back to the bar, I told the
    guy I was with her.  He pointed to some guy on the other side of the
    bar and tell me they were together too, and why didn't we make it a
    foursome.  He just didn't get it....SOooooooo...I put my arm around
    the female friend I was with, and said "No, you don't understand..We
    are *together* together.  This guy was obviously homophobic.  I thought
    he was gonna barf right there. :*)
    
    He did leave me alone for the rest of the night. :*)
    
    
    Terrie
    

	Terrie, that was too funny!

    A former girlfriend told me of how she got rid of some bonehead who was
    doing somewhat of the same. Execpt she decides to get forward with him
    as starts in with:
    
    Her: So you want to feel something firm, round, and fuzzy? 
    
    Bonehead: Yea!!!
    
    She drops a tennis ball into his drink, gets up, and walks off.:)
    
    

    >She drops a tennis ball into his drink, gets up, and walks off.:)
    
    this reminds me of a silly game we play down the sports club. it's
    played with a golf ball. if you get the golf ball dropped in your drink
    you have to down the drink in one. you then have possession of the golf
    ball and have to go find someone else's drink to put it in.
    
    (works when everyone is drinking pints of beer, doesn't work with
    bottles or shorts or wine ... obviously)
    
    ric

    RE; <or shorts> would that be briefs or boxers? :-)

    
    
    RE: Rude comments to get rid of guys......
    
    
    I know another one that a friend of mine used....was quite a hoot!
    
    
    Pointing to some unknown woman at the other side of the room....
    "I wouldn't (RO) You even with her (RO)."
    
    
    I almost wet myself I laughed so hard...it was more the shock affect of
    hearing a nice young lady say something like this that made it all the
    funnier. :*)
    
    Terrie
    

    
    
    GAK SNARF!
    

No.  Pants.

Chris.

    Me like um GAK, it make great pooping sound when go back in um can.
    
    Onondaga

================================================================================
Note 425.100               Rules and Gender Stereotype                100 of 100
COVERT::COVERT "John R. Covert"                       5 lines  11-MAY-1995 14:39
            -< We used to call him Bill but now we call her Billie >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>(never met a male lesbian, have you?)

Well, I do know someone who claimed he was a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

/john

415.39.

Just what I wanted to read first thing in the morning.  Bluuuuuuurgh.....

Chris.

    TTMYG - The bowl of what I believe to have once been tunafish in my
    refirgerator.  I reached for a beverage last night and it growled at
    me.   

    fuzzy cheese

    hairy bread

     I had some green cheese the other day; it was pretty good. :-) washed
    it down with some corbieres.

Hey, I *like* fuzzy cheese and hairy bread, and things in the 'fridge
that growl at me; if I didn't, I'd starve!

Chris.

	My roomate has had some chicken in the fridge now for quite some time.
Can we say 3 weeks? Glad it's trash night. The only ones who love having the
fridge opened is the cats. They're all over sniffin the chicken as soon as that
door is opened! 


Glen

    
    >Aural (tie):   Perry Como, Memories Are Made of This
    >               Bobby Goldsboro, Honey
    
    
    Did you catch that second line, Di 8^)?

    
    	re: Mr. Topaz  .80
    
    	I'd have to agree with you on that last one.  Loved the stuff
    	up till 'bout 6 months ago.....  now I can't even stand the
    	smell of it!
    

	Jack Martin's birthday. Oh, it doesn't make me gak, but he is a year
older, so it might make him gak.... :-)  Luv ya Jack! :-)

    Back to work after 2 weeks!
    
    	
    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
    
    
    
    
    Rod

    
    Someone, PLEASE remind me NOT to listen to the radio on Wednesday
    mornings.  Today is the day for the 90210 ads 8^p.
    
    

    If you do some math, I'm sure that you can derive 666 from 90210.

    
    re: .85
    
    90210
    
    That some kind of batting average or something??
    

    
    
    i just heard on the radio a remake of "falling in love" (babybaby,
    falling love...falling in love again...)...song sounds fine...til i
    realized who it was...
    
    		david hasselhoff (sp)
    
    
    {shudder}
    
    keep him in europe, please!!!
    
    

 :-P

    
    the "chow mein" being served up in pko cafe.
    
    bleech!

    Re: .88
    
    You mean he actually had a hit in the US?  Gracious.

    
    	RE: Raq
    
    	Let me get this straight ... the song sounded fine until you
    	realized who it was?
    
    	Does that mean you also hate some new songs until you realize
    	that they're done by bands you like?
    
    	8^)
    

	raq... was Kitt singing in the background????

    "Firebird singing in the dead of niiiiiiiight"

From: Susan Bell Romero <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: demon.local
Subject: Dead Cat
 
The job applicant stood in my boss's office, muttering 
semi-incomprehensibly about wanting a security job.  I eyed the bulge 
under his jacket nervously.  It appeared to be something motionless 
and bulky in a Sainsbury's bag.  Was it a baby?  Was it a dog? Was it 
his shopping?
 
We slowly became aware of an obnoxious smell.  "Sorry about the smell", 
said the job applicant (whose name I have forgotten already) "my cat's 
very ill with an eye infection, I'm on the way back from the vet's, they 
gave it an anaesthetic, and it keeps farting".
 
It was perhaps at this point that it dawned on us that not only was this 
man totally unsuitable for the job and quite probably barking mad, but 
that it was going to be almost impossible to get him out of the office 
without a struggle!
 
I tried the old strategy of insufficient product knowledge (we're record 
shops), but asking him about recent indie music provoked a long ramble 
about Wire and Scritti Politti.  I couldn't take any more, so I escorted 
him into the other office and handed him a written test, whereupon he GOT 
HIS CAT OUT OF THE CARRIER BAG, SHOWED IT TO ME, AND PUT IT DOWN ON THE 
STAIRS.
 
I peered gingerly at it.  It lay on its side, eyes glazed (but no sign of 
any infection) and limbs sticking out stiffly at a grotesque angle.
 
I went and skulked in my boss's office.
 
Meanwhile, other employees gathered around the cat.  Along came the 
Building and Maintenance Manager.  Seeing a lifeless cat blocking the 
stairway and thinking it must have fallen through a hole in the roof, he 
exclaimed loudly "That cat's dead!!"
 
Out scuttled the job applicant.  "No no", he protested, "it's just in 
shock".  "Oh come on", said the Building Manager (not noted for his 
diplomacy) "it's dead as a doornail, look, it's stiff".  (It was stiff, 
bloated and stank, actually).  Job applicant took cat's pulse.  "Lots of 
vets have had that mistaken opinion, too", he said indignantly.
 
Job applicant got about fifteen percent on his music test and suddenly got 
up and walked out.  As he went he picked the cat up by its legs, which 
were completely stiff, put it back in the Sainsbury's bag, and buttoned it 
back under his jacket.  Bleurgh!!!
 
Later found out he had gone into one of our shops and said to the staff:  
"You know sometimes when you find cats in the road, they aren't dead, 
they're just in shock.  Would you like to see one I found earlier!"
 
I want a sign for my office door that says "Please leave your dead 
domestic animals at the downstairs counter".
 
PS - I'd have felt a damn sight sorrier for the poor cat had it been 
alive.

    
    
    
    
    			unbelievable
    
    	that dude should be locked up!
    

    Why? Kind of like a real live dead parrot sketch in action.

    
    I wonder he's ever thought of becoming a Digital VP?
    

    I'll gak for a ---->

    SNARF!

    No sunshine for days on end :-{

	It's nice and sunny where I am at.... I'll be heading out to it soon.
:-)

    
    the smell of my cycling jersey.

    Why, Solar Gak, of course.

	John.... one thing worse than that was gak in 'tine's hair.... of
course her hair now glows in the dark.... :-)

I thought it might bounce sort of like silly putty, but no.  It just sits
there and goes gak.

There was something else there, too, that I thought would bounce, but we
won't talk about that.

>There was something else there, too, that I thought would bounce,

The sirloin tips that were left on the grill while 'Tine's brother
cooked his steak?

???

    route 62 traffic through beffid this afternoon.
    

    I went gak when I saw the bag of toys Jack brought for Onondaga. Jack, you
    spoiled Onondaga you know, and now he's a very demanding little
    tomahawk wielding brat.

    8^)

    
    output from system makefile whilst building a kernel..

    
     a thing to make me GAK on sunday............
    
     Spending an hour trying to remove the GAK from miss. 'tines hair after
    Corky tried to scare her with the GAK.
    
    

    
    
    <--- AH HUH!!!!!
    
    
    finally, a node::username to put with the face...
    
    
    still doesn't ring much of a bell... :> :> :>
    
    

    
    
    
    <--------- oh oh
    
    
                      Lee
    

    
    We had "Solar Gak", "Gak Splat", and "Smell My Gak"; there was Floam,
    Smud, and Slime; there were a few cans of Silly String-type stuff.
    
    I liked the Floam most of all 8^).

I wonder what Dapper O'Neil would say.

    Debra, what were you making with the Floam?

    
    NOTHING!  NOTHING!

    I wish I had _that_ kind of nothing. 8^o

    
    I was just squeezing it.  I wasn't making anything!

Do you frequently turn that shade when asked about your activities?

    She could be a solar Debra.

    
    I'm currently a lovely biscuitty shade of brown, not pink with white
    dots like the Floam 8^).
    
    OK, my chest is a little bit pinkish.

    
    Behave, you!

    
    Hey, put your gak away.......what a strange little sound.
    

    I don not like  gak, I repeat, I do NOT like gak
    

    
    And on that point she is adamant!

    I just took a look in a mirror, and it wasn't a pretty sight. I look
    like I've been dragged through a bush backwards. My hair is everywhere,
    I need a shave, my face just looks like three kinds of <r.o> and I feel
    real bad too. Hmmph. I need to be re-born.

    verily verily.....

    
    
    Someone leaving their toothbrush and toothpaste by the fax machine.....
    
    wouldn't have been too bad if it weren't for that unidentifiable pice
    of foodstuff that was hanging ever so gingerly off of one of the
    bristles......

>    wouldn't have been too bad if it weren't for that unidentifiable pice
>    of foodstuff that was hanging ever so gingerly off of one of the
>    bristles......

I'll have it!!!  Send it in the mail to Chris Hedley@RHC...

Chris.

Why not fax it?

>Why not fax it?

go on then; +44 1279 652250...

Chris.

    
    
    Made me gak yesterday.........
    
    
    Knowing that the ambulance, fire truck, and cruisers in front of LKG 
    were there because of me yesterday afternoon. :(
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

	EEEKKK!!!!!  What happened????

    
    
    ttmug:  the latest remake of 'dim all the lights'...almost makes 'total
    eclipse of the heart' sound good...
    
    

    
    
    	Oh gawd..... who trashed that one?
    
    	SACRILEGE!  sigh.......
    

    SOul Asylum

    
    	RE: Brian
    
    	Please tell me that:
    
    
    	Soul Asylum makes you gak
    
    
    	and that Soul Asylum was NOT the answer to "who re-did "Dim All
    	the Lights"".
    

    New title for SOul Asylum's newest release, Dim All the Lights.  And no
    Soul Asylum does not or at least had not made me want to gak.  
    
    Brian
    

    re: .140
    
    I thought it was, "Let Your Dim Light Shine" ?
    
    And "Dim All The Lights" was totally unredeemable 
    to begin with......
    
    
    

    Well, there you go.  Too much dimness this AM on the way to work I
    guess.  

    
    	Donna Summer ROOLZ!!
    
    
    	And in case anyone cares [or, if you prefer, wants to gak], the
    	new Ugly Kid Joe album is supposed to be out today.
    

    
    
    
    i wrote to the dj at the radio station and asked who slaughtered 'dim
    all the lights' (sweet darlin', cuz tonite it's all the way...) and he
    told me that laura branigan did it.  you'd think she had gotten a clue
    when she redid 'turn the beat around' about 6 years and it went nowhere
    (til gloria estifan redid it this year...)
    
    i like a lot of laura's stuff...but she should have left this song
    alone.  it is slower in tempo than the original version, which i love,
    along with almost all of donna summer's stuff...
    
    {sigh}
    
    

I thought it was "A Little Dim Sum."

Oh. sorry. Wrong topic.

 Walking into the bathroom. What died?

Walking into the kitchen.  What died?  (Actually, I think it's the
remnants of some curry crawling around in the bin, so I think that
`died' isn't an accurate description.  I must get a waste disposal
unit installed...)

Chris.

    
    how disgusting.

    I hate it when you chuck the remains of a chicken curry in the bin,
    along with a few empty lager cans.
    
    The mix of the 2 smells the next day is quite frightening.
    

    I wager anything in your house is quite frightening.

    Yes. Someone suggested I put one of those nuclear contamination warning
    signs on the toilet door.
    

    	A guy in the YMCA locker room was clipping his toenails
    
    
    	with his teeth....

    
       I'll bet he was saying "Yuuuuummmmm!!!!!'

	Now *that's* flexible!

    What Mr Topaz meant by that was that he finds several contributors to
    be very flexible individuals. Surely an asset.

    
    <------
    
    and it can be useful too!!
    

    racken fracken Gilligan!

    
    
    um, that's raq'n fraq'n gilligan
    
    
    nnttm
    
    
    :>
    
    

	Reading the "Things that make you """gak""" today" thread!

    
    
    Hearing slick willie go on about "cop killer" bullets......

    -1 Again?
    

    I like the comment.....
    
    a bullet goes through a vest "like a knife through hot butter...."
    He actually said that.
    
    Dan

    
    
    Yes again, Karen.  Dan is correct, he actually said that.
    
    
    This guy is dirt from beginning to end.  He wouldn't know a principle
    if it came up and bit him in the arse.......

He probably knows a lot about hot butter.

    
    All of a sudden, the tune `Popcorn' is popping in my head.
    

How about Isaac Hayes?

> He probably knows a lot about hot butter.
    
    I saw that one comming !
    
    :-)
    Dan

    Slick should know, he's had enough cops killed in his lifetime.

TTMMGT:
	14.2631

The Nature last night on bees, wasps, and hornets.  Gak!

    My lil three year old was stung 7 times yesterday.  He's alright but
    the poor kid....

    That's a TTHT, Jack.  What was he stung by?

    Wasped with a white dot on their face!

	YIKES! 

	I envisioned a similar encounter Sunday, when I reached to
	shut off the water outside, and noticed a large yellow-jacket
	nest in the making, with 6 or 7 yellow jackets perched on the
	outside, and my 3 year olds hand one inch away (it was under
	the porch railing, which she was clinging to).

	I tried ever so hard to remain calm while I got her off the steps.

	yuk

	

For real fun try popping the lid on an active honeybee hive,
with several tens of thousands of the little critters.

	That's different, that's *asking* for trouble!

    
    
    speaking of bee stings, just before the holiday last week, my beau's
    bro was setting up pallets (those wood things) for the bonfire in
    looneyburg and all of a sudden he was hollering in pain.  seems one of
    his pallets had a nest on it...with some occupants.  got him 3 times. 
    2ce on his left arm and once near his eye.  saw him later in the day
    that it happened...his arm near his elbow was swollen and his eye
    looked like his wifed clocked him with a right hook...and it was still
    swollen 2 days later, tho not nearly as bad.  even today, you can still
    see markings around his eye.  i guess he has an allergic reaction to
    them (first time he has ever been stung)...
    

           <<< BACK40::BACK40$DKA500:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SOAPBOX.NOTE;1 >>>
                          -< Soapbox.  Just Soapbox. >-
================================================================================
Note 37.823                 Susan Smith Murders Sons                  823 of 824
CBHVAX::CBH "Lager Lout"                              6 lines  11-JUL-1995 13:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>    She deserves to die.

or at least she deserves to have her intestines yanked out and scrubbed
with an industrial abrasive.

Chris.

    re: .181
    
    Ah, yes, the arsenal of wasp spray on the porch and the 
    Epi-Pen in the kitchen cabinet.  I love summer.....

    
    20.2465

    set mode=EXTREME_sarcasm....

    Thanks Mike, I REALLY appreciate that ..... <blech> :-(

    Good thing I haven't had anything to eat yet..... :-(

    I think I've just come up with a new weight loss program, anytime
    you're hungry, just read that little note <blech> :-(

    :-| <Just beginning to recover now....>
    Dan

    
    I don't know if this belongs here or in the road kill note, but...
    
    A REALLLLLLYY ripe skunk kill, that is right on my way to and from
    home.  Given today's forecast for eastern Mass.  I DO NOT want to be
    ANYWHERE within a couple of MILES of the scene at around 3:00 this
    afternoon!  IF you KNOW what I mean ! :-ppppp
    
    Dan

    .186
    
    George Crumb?  Or R. Crumb?

================================================================================
Note 6.391                Conference Policy Discussion                391 of 391
PENUTS::DDESMAISONS "person B"                        4 lines  18-JUL-1995 15:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  see, gerald, it's all your fault.  for your punishment, breakfast
  will consist of 1 blueberry bagel and a large Coke, for the next week.

    
    38.166

    The mental image I got outta that was too much for me.....
    :-P

    Dan

re .189:

You want "gak", wait until the fermentation is complete, and the farmer
uses the liquid to fertilize the corn...

    
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, 119 through Groton on a May evening.  The
    fragrance of cowdoots.
    
    

    
    Aahhhhhhh - Clean Country Air!!!

    
    A loaf of bread, a jug of cow-pie wine, and thou.

    
    Shouldn't that be a _box_ of cow-pie wine?
    
    

    
    No, but this Easynotes entry certainly qualifies.

    How about a Bladder o' Bord?

    115.418

Yes, the misplaced apostrophe makes me gak too.

    
    
    
    Gak snarf.  :*)
    

        re .199 Yikes, GAKK!!!  Touch�, GeraldSan...  Well Spottoid!!
        

TTMMGT:  The discussion of diaper blowouts in PARENTING.

    We already did our diaper thing here a few weeks ago.
    
    Always one step ahead of the rest of the company.
    
    Chris

    
    14.3079
    
    :-P
    Dan

    
    Yesterday morning, walked out back door and saw dead mole on
    the landing. Happens as we have 2 cats. I was in a hurry, heading to
    work so I left it for someone else in the family to dispose of. Sure!
    Get home and it's still there. So I grab a leg so I can toss it into
    the woods. get about 2 feet and the body falls off the leg and
    hits the landing. It doesn't just drop, it splatters like an 
    over ripe tomato. Bleah! 
    
    Didn't eat much dinner after that. 

    I'm thinking of having a mole or two removed myself before they grow
    legs which would lead to the inevitable carnage.

    Well that puts ME right offen my plans for Chicken Mol� tonite, tyvm.
    

>            <<< Note 414.205 by HANNAH::MODICA "Journeyman Noter" >>>
>                            -< the worst I've seen >-

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!
You TOUCHED it!!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

    
    rink staff catching a mouse, and, pushing it onto the ice, proceed
    to hold a stick practice..

    Hey, it's better than Gurkha-style soccer, oops football, OOOps headball.
    
    N'est-ce-pas???
    

    
    > Gurkha-style soccer....
    
    The images that conjures up....
    
    :-)  or maybe  :-P
    Dan

    Consider your emoticons more carefully! 
    
    I rather doubt that the "ball" would be wearing expression #1 -- 
    imho, expression #2 is far licklier.
    

    
    RE: .209
    
    Idiots!!!
    

In Switzerland and Germany an old folk remedy is made from slugs. One
puts some slugs into a glass and pours sugar on them. In the following
days a kind of syrup will form. In Germany it is called
"Schneckensirup", translated: slug syrup. It is used as a folk remedy
against obstinate cough, asthma etc. One has to take some teaspoonsful
a day. Certainly, a little strange and unsavory remedy and it may cost
an effort to take this syrup.

Slug slime syrup translation

>The following text is  from A. Vogel "Die Natur als biologischer
>Wegweiser" Verlag A. Vogel Teufen, Switzerland, 1983,
>pages 671 to 676:

>Im Buch Der kleine Doktor+ kann man lesen, dass der
>Schneckensirup bei Schwierigkeiten auf bakterieller Grundlage, wie
>Geschwueren, Magen- und Lungenleiden schon gute
>Dienste geleistet hat. Das Rezept zur Herstellung wollen wir hier
>wiederholen.

In the book 'the small doctor' you can read that slug syrup has helped
with bacterial problems, like excema, stomach- and lung ailments. The
recipe is:

Red Slugsyrup

Put red forest slugs in a layer in a jar. Add a layer of sugar, a layer
of slugs, a layer of sugar until the jar is full. You should have MORE
sugar than slugs. The sugar will almost dissolve the slugs. Let it stand
until the second day and put into a sieve. The syrup will slowly go thru
the sieve. Add 30% alcohol to the syrup to make it ready-to-use and to
make it keep. Throw away the residue in the sieve.

Take one tablespoon of the syrup in the morning on an empty stomach. In
bad cases you can take a liqueurglass full. It is very successful, even
doctors have been astonished. It can also be used for whooping cough,
bronchitis and convulsive cough (?).

    >"Schneckensirup", translated: slug syrup.
    
    Germeny has such wonderful words. You just keep adding syllables until
    your brain implodes.
    
    One of my favorites is:
    
    "Gakkendemorgendetakendeschneckensirup", translated:
    
    Throwing up after drinking slug syrup first thing in the morning.

    
    re: .214
    
    Hmmmm....
    
    Replace the garlic with sugar and you have:
    
     escargak..
    

> Throw away the residue in the sieve.

What a shameful waste!

    Got two points on my drivers license and I now have a $500.00
    surcharge. The first ticket I`ve had in 20 years of driving.

    White Castle <mumble>.  I won't call it 'food'.
    
    Bleahhhhh
    
    Bob

    
    My fianc�e brought home some cans of Shlitz Genuine Draft this past
    weekend while I was away.
    
    Possibly the worst "beer" I've ever tasted.
    

    they still make that!?!?!?!!?!?!?
    
    
    (or was it just that old???  :>)
    

    
    I can top that one....
    
    ever had Generic Beer.... :-PpPpPpP
    
    It's enough to make you stop drinking altogether...
    

    re: Joan
    
     You still gonna marry her?

    Schlitz
     ^
    nnttm
    

    
    .224,
    
    Yeah, but she's gotta buy me my own beer fridge so's I can keep the
    good stuff separate.
    
    :^)
    

    
    We have a beer here in Texas. White can - black plain letter label.
    It's "Your Favorite Beer".
    
    ...AND IT ISN'T.

    Waal podnuh, they done clear fergot that if they're goin fer the
    eponymous-aka-recursive-reader-trick, they shoulda done oughta have
    named it 
    
    "Waal Sheeey�t, this here's MAH fayvrit beer"
    
    right on every goldurn can.
    
    Sales woulda hadda oughta gone straight froo the roof, iffen they had
    oughta done did that, ayep!
                               

TTMMGLN:  I opened a garbage can to add some garbage.  The whole thing was
crawling with maggots -- garbage, inside of the can, and inside of the lid.

    One more reason to keep meaty scraps in the freezer until trash day. 
    Keeps the cans cleaner smelling and maggot free, as well as avoiding
    having a plague of skunks, raccoons, and bears in one's garbage.
    
    meg

We used to have raccoon problems, but they've apparently all died of rabies.
Not too many bears in Brighton.  I see the occasional skunk, but I don't think
they're big enough to open the cans.

years ago when we had an outside in-the-ground garbage pail(emptied weekly by
local DPW) maggots were a summer problem. pickup was Friday AM. On wednesday
I'd open the lid, pour in a half-cup of gasoline, close the lid over a short 
length of fuse, light the fuse, step-back. When the flame entered the area
under the lid there would be a nice WWOOOOFF sound, the lid would raise-up a 
few inches small fireball/smokecloud would roll out. Nothing moving inside
after that. :-} ;-}

    
    
    I'll bet you that the family is all safely inside when you start the
    grill, eh Amos?
    

>            <<< Note 414.233 by GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER "NRA member" >>>

    
>    I'll bet you that the family is all safely inside when you start the
>    grill, eh Amos?
    

I thought I might try the LOX starting fluid as shown on the WEB :-}

    I would suggest getting a better alloy for your grill than most are
    made out of.  Remember the end pickture?
    
    meg

Bread & Circus is selling organic chocolate bars.  One of the flavors is
green tea.

    Bluuuuuuurgh!

   .237  I think you should change your 
         p_name to "I have bluuuuuuurghed areas".

    
    re: .236
    
    Do let me know when they start selling SPAM flavored ones, would you?
    
    Thanks...
    

It's prolly mighty hard to find organic chocolate in Kishinev.  I must stock up.

    
    
    To use as bribes???
    

They're not stupid.  They want U.S. currency.

    
    14.3621
    

    
    58.639
    

 Driving north on 93 Friday night (or was it Saturday?) a truck hauling
 a bunch of port-o-sans lost one which bounced a couple times in the
 breakdown lane before tumbling off towards the woods.



 Jim

    Wow, Jimmy on the spot!
    
    ;^)

    
    Port-o-let
    Porta-Potty
    Sani-Castle
    Johnny on the Spot
    Comfort Castle
    
    Any others?
    
    

    Mud-o-mats ?

    
    I've NEVER heard them called mud-o-mats.
    
    My favourite is "tink-a-larium".
    
    

    Caban-o-cac ?

    
    Port-O-San
    Nature's Call
    

    Potty-on-the-Spot.
    
    I-kid-you-not.
    
    P.S. Now be inventive. What would YOU call them ?
    
         Transpotty. 
    	 Crap-on-the-Run.
    	 Loaf-Stall.
    	 La Rue Poo.

    la pisserie

fast dump crappers...... sometimes referred to as McDonalds..... :-)

One company tried to use "Here's Johnny!"  Mr. Carson was not amused.

    Seen a company that rents 'em with the name:
    
    Eure Rentals.

    "ideation process"  [ the process of generating ideas]
    
    Whe is invented language, in College text books (Course in Small Group
    Communication) so necessary ?
    

	539.19

    
    Care to elaborate?
    
    -b

     
    she took offense at being called a bean.
    
    

	nah, it was the touchy-feely sugary-sweet stuff that made
	me gak ...

    
    Me? Sugary sweet? Shirley you jest!
    
    Maybe you were thrown by the fact that I made it through an
    _entire note_  without calling someone a wiper of other people's
    bottoms... :-) :-)
    
    -b

	Yeah, -b, it was the shock (er, shlock) of it all that
	made me gak... as long as it was only a momentary lapse,
	I'll be happy (I don't adjust well to sudden change ;-) )

    
    and he didn't mention penii!!!
    
    
    :> :>
    
    

TTMYGT and any other day...

LinkWorks T-shirts - what a *foul* colour. They should issue sunnies to people 
who see the people wearing 'em, and cheek (facial) implants to those who wear 
'em so when they glance down the colour doesn't blind 'em.
Erk!

    
    
    	So what color are they?
    

    Going to grab my lunch and finding a "new" refrigerator next to the
    old, POS one we've been using. The old one's door is ajar and my lunch
    is not inside. I open the "new" one only to discover that the new one
    has a puddle of slime and mold, and the moron who moved my lunch into
    the thing put it right in the puddle. In a paper bag. What a bunghole.

    From the slime to the meticulous.

    
    	Sorry doc...... that made me giggle.....
    
    	Probably because stuff like that usually happens to me so
    	it's much funnier when it happens to someone else.....  =)
    
    

    re Colour of T-Shirts
    
    They are a lovely fluorescent puke. 

Being told to wear the same shirt three days in a row.

                                  ORACLE

                                 Blazing    
                               Performance

                             |d|i|g|i|t|a|l|

Thank goodness their not socks!

    re: Note 414.248 by POWDML::HANGGELI
    
    Polish Rocket.

    
    
    Careful Mad_Mike.... that's awful close to the dreaded "P-word"...
    

    pancake ?

The artist formerly known as Prince?

| <<< Note 414.277 by GIDDAY::BURT "DPD (tm)" >>>

| The artist formerly known as Prince?

	Prince was an artist? No way! Did he draw his own symbol?

    
    	He's so rich he probably doesn't even draw his own water.
    

    
    > He's so rich he probably doesn't even draw his own water.
    
    Yeah, but the real question is, does he pass his own water?
    

    
    	That armless guy wiping the toilet seat off is a good candidate
    	for this topic.
    

    He's armless now?
    
    Poor Mr. Catheter Problem, he must be a miserable man.

    re: .282
    
    But nowhere near as miserable as his cleaning lady is.......

    But, she doesn't want to get sacked I bet.

    
    
    	.....  the latest discussion in the "Sick and Tired" note
    
    	gak.
    

    
    >  the latest discussion in the "Sick and Tired" note
    
    I'll agree with that JJ. 

    Yeah, that was a rather "pleasant" lunchtime subject.

    Entre-de-Merde?

	138.1170

    
    Ah, fame 8^).
    
    

<---sounds like pure crap to me! :-)

    
    TTMYGT:
    Lunch at the China Ruby ..... BLUUUUUUURGH !
    
    :-PpPpPpPpP
    

    
    Kirby hon, one does not go to the Ruby to eat.  One goes to the Ruby
    to drink their incredibly cheap and strong drinks and to breathe in
    great gaping lungfuls of cigarette smoke.
    
    
    
    

    
    
    Do you take your horse there too???
    

    He a Mallbollo man?

    
    No, he's a Portebello Belle.
    

    Are there any wild women folks that hang around there???

    
    	No, all the wild women folk hang around here...
    
    

    
    
    Sexists whine!!!!
    

    GAKsnarf...

    
    > Hillary Clinton to star in Brazil lingerie ad
    
    I am hard pressed to think of a more repulsive vision, than Hillary
    Clinton in ANY KIND of lingerie...
    
    :-P
    

     What about Bill Clinton?

    Markie Post will probably get the poster size version.

    
    	Did anyone see Friday's "The X-Files"?
    
    	GAK!!
    

    
    <-------
    
    Double Gak!!!
    

    No I didn't see Friday's episode, I taped it; are youse guys saying
    I shouldn't watch it.
    
    There was another episode Saturday or Sunday; that was pretty grim
    too.
    
     

    
    
    It was more than just a little gross... and more like a shock value
    thing than anything else...
    
    Just wasn't expecting it, is all...

    The media comparing 1 lone gunmen to all right-wing extremists in
    America.

    
    > The media comparing 1 lone gunmen to all right-wing extremists in
    > America.

    Does this in any way surprise you ?!?!

It smells like someone has dropped a flock of rotting chickens into the 
air-conditioning.  Others have described the stench as being of human origin.

It's 'orrible.


\C     

    Is that sorta like the bad body odor smell Seinfeld had with his car?

Martin's legacy to the office, perhaps, Chele?

I've since heard that our wonderful caf had an incident with some oil... 
The odour is starting to fade, finally, but it still pongs.

Casting dispersions upon absent fiends - I'm shocked!


\Chele

    Chele shocked?

>    Chele shocked?

yup.  And thus far my day has been completely filled with goodnesslessness.
Which is my word and I made it and it is mine, for I find it filled with 
uselessnesslessessity.


\C

    Goodnesslessnaciosness graciouslessnessniditty!

    
    My brain hurts.
    

Nifty, isn't it?


\C

re 414.318

It's a hardware problem.


\C

    
    no doubt.
    

re <<< Note 414.321 by MPGS::MARKEY "Fluffy nutter" >>>

>no doubt.
    
doubtfullessnessful


\c

TTMYGT:
    I can't recall any time in the past eighteen years since I moved to
    New Hampshire that the temperature dipped this low on the 9th of
    November. It's only 13 freaking degrees F out there at the moment.

    C'mon! This ain't January!

    Please tell me this isn't a seasonal preview!

    This night should set the frost line plenty deep. Just what I need
    with prospects of sinking some earth-anchors this weekend.

       It was yesterday, midday, ZKO cafeteria, in the make-your-own-
       sandwich area.  It's set up for maximum hygiene, anyway, because
       they put out bagged loaves of sliced bread in hard-to-reach bins,
       and it's almost certain that you'll handle half the loaf as you 
       fish through the bag to take out your two slices.
       
       Now, I don't really get terribly upset at people picking their
       noses.  I figure everyone does it, and anyone who doesn't has some
       different practice that is far more unseemly.  I'd prefer that it
       be done in the privacy of one's own whatever, but even then I'm
       not about to do a Beavis/Butthead routine if you're strolling down
       the hall with your index finger in search of the back of your
       optic nerve.
       
       However.  The guy in the beige-and-brown shirt who stuck his digit
       in the left nostril's deep center-field, and then almost
       immediately inserted the hand carrying that same digit into the
       package of ZKO's whole wheat bread was a bit too much.
       
       Bon app�tit.

    
    Topes, you are indeed a very cold and uncaring fellow.  If you were a
    decent sort, you would have told the folks in here what type of bread
    the guy preffered so as the boxers would avoid the same selection.  You
    would have been held up as a hero by all for providing such a wonderful
    public service.
    
    
    Mike

       
       > If you were a decent sort, you would have told the folks in here
       > what type of bread the guy preffered 
       
       Do all race-car-nutters have reading disabilities?

    At least tell us you chose the chunky mustard so you wouldn't have to
    know whether any untoward fragments might have disdigitated onto the
    slices you ate...
    

          <<< Note 414.308 by OUTSRC::HEISER "watchman on the wall" >>>
                               -< irresponsible >-

>    The media comparing 1 lone gunmen to all right-wing extremists in
>    America.

And how, pray tell, *don't* they compare?

If you identify yourself with the OKC bombers and railroad saboteurs, don't
blame the media for making a demon of you, you're doing it yourself. 

Tom

    
    
    
    Aaaah, right you are, Tops.  Just take into consideration that I was
    reading one of your notes, so Ididn't read very thoroughly. ;')

    
    
    
    Come on, Tom, a little honesty herE,the media is doing it's damndest to
    paint all repubs as right wing extremists.  Did you hear Leon after
    Powell made his statement?  Even after Powell made it clear that he was
    a republican?  Panetta's statement was played over and over in the
    media so as the public would know that the repubs were casting out
    Powell.  What a crock.
    

   <<< Note 414.330 by GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER "RIP Amos, you will be missed" >>>

    
>    Come on, Tom, a little honesty herE,the media is doing it's damndest to
>    paint all repubs as right wing extremists.  Did you hear Leon after
>    Powell made his statement?  Even after Powell made it clear that he was
>    a republican?  Panetta's statement was played over and over in the
>    media so as the public would know that the repubs were casting out
>    Powell.  What a crock.

That's not how *I* hear the media, Mike. I don't get the impression that I 
should be expecting a Wannemacher to bomb the UN, at least I don't get that 
impression from the media. Me thinks you reichwingers are being a tad 
senzateve. ;')

Sure, the media is painting the Repubs as moving further and further to the 
right. And they are, no? As for Panetta' statement being played over and 
over. The media plays *everything* over and over. I don't watch TV news, 
but on NPR they played Newt's "welcome to the Republican party, lets work 
together" statement over and over, too. Again, are we being senzateve, 
Mike? 

You better send me a few more Washington Times, Mike. You've still got a 
lotta work ahead of you...;')

Tom    

    Mr. Topaz,
    
    You have my permission to smaq(tm) the gross individual mentioned;
    it's your duty, you can't let him contaminate fellow digits.
    
    If smaqing fails, break his arm or at least the rigid digit.....
    
    

    
    >it's your duty, you can't let him contaminate fellow digits.
    
    	You mean "You can't let him contaminate fellow digits with
    	contaminated digits, fellow."
    

    
    > That's not how *I* hear the media, 
    
    Suggestion:  
    
    
    
    Q-Tips
    
    HTH
    ;-)
    

Thinking about the sound-effects that the dog makes when eating snails.
Crunch, crunch, slurp, crunch, cough cough.  

Then he wants to lick my face - aaaargh - bleccch.

\C

 Well, let's see if I can keep that sandwich which I just consumed, in
 it's present environment, having read the previous note.



 Jim

It's Monday.

    
    
    	listening to the partisan cr*p on NPR this morning. Repubs complain
    about the prez, prez complains about the repubs, but nobody's really
    saying anything of substance. Just another day before the govt
    shuts down I suppose. I hope it does shut down at midnight....the
    country will probably run smoother tomorrow....
    
    
    jim

If the two branches (executive and legislative) most responsible for
the day-to-day operation of the guvmint can't pull it of (i.e., it
shuts down for whatever reason), does that mean we don't have to pay
the idiots while it's shut down?

Pete

    re:  Do all race-car-nutters have reading disabilities?
    
    Lesse... what time was that note entered?
    I think fatso might have been having "technical difficulties"...
    please stand by....
    

                      ^`.
       ^_              \  \
       \ \             {   \
       {  \           /     `~~~--__
       {   \___----~~'              `~~-_
        \                         /// `  `~.
        / /~~~~-, ,__.    ,      ///  __,,,,)
        \/      \/    `~~~;   ,---~~-_`~=----------Who me?
                         /   /
                        '._.'

    Where's Braucher?
    
    Is that the sound of 800,000 furloughed workers heading home?
    
    Is that the sound of the bond markets diving for cover?
    
    What is that sound?
    
    DougO

    
      I haven't been furloughed, DougO.
    
      And the financial markets discounted all this long ago.  If you're
     expecting some sort of panic, you're in for a disappointment.
    
      bb

    Are you saying that investors won't be demanding a jacked-up premium
    on tbills after the few that come due over the next week aren't
    redeemed promptly, since there's no cash on hand and no authority to
    borrow more?  are you saying there won't be a ripple effect increasing
    the costs of nearly all bonds?  save me from gaking, B - explain how
    the markets have already discounted the effects of default.
    
    DougO

    
      It's true, they have.  Interest rates are a LEADING indicator.
     Every day for over six months, interest rates have already been
     higher than they would have been if this possibility hadn't been
     long foreseen.  The same thing happens with wars and recessions.
     Long term interest rates, particularly, are more likely to FALL.
     I'm not saying this is good news, by the way.  Just that that's
     how it is.  If it weren't, you could have made a killing selling
     bonds last week at low rates, buying back when rates rise this week.
     The bond market has known about this phenomenon since before we
     were born.
    
      bb

    >Are you saying that investors won't be demanding a jacked-up premium
    >on tbills after the few that come due over the next week aren't
    >redeemed promptly, 
    
     But they will be redeemed promptly after all. The treasury will be
    selling $130 billion worth of (T-notes?) something or other in order to
    have the money to pay off the bonds coming due.

    
      By the way, on the leading indicator thing - I had a whole course
     on this in school, and had to take tests on just this sort of
     question.
    
      Suppose tomorrow some news, good or bad, comes out.
    
      Suppose also that there is a market action (bonds, stocks, gold -
     directions don't matter, though they might be different).
    
      The point is this :  the market action will ONLY be related to the
     news, IF the news was totally unanticipated.  Much more likely, the
     market action is related to a changing estimation of FUTURE news.
     By that I mean, 4-6 months out, the market is discounting events.
    
      To a bond trader, the past is always irrelevant - there are no
     further interest payments in the past.  All that matters is the
     future, a continually moving target.  Right now, bond traders are
     discounting their estimations of next spring and summer.  It is a
     beginner's error to trade on the basis of today's good or bad news.
     They'll clean you out fast if you do.
    
      bb

Sydney temperature is supposed to reach 35 degrees today - I suspect it will 
go higher.

gak.



\C

That's 95 degrees for the celsius-impaired.

/john

> ================================================================================
> Note 585.32                          Hooters                           32 of 154
> CSC32::J_OPPELT "Wanna see my scar?"                 19 lines  17-NOV-1995 13:31
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>     .          .          .          .          .          .          .
>     .          .          .          .          .          .          .
>     .          .          .          .          .          .          .
>     
>         .... I wonder
>     	if the govt will next be approaching the establishments that
>     	have topless or nude entertainment and sue them to hire
>     	entertainers of both genders.
    
    THANKS JOE!   Just the image I needed first thing in the morning...
    
    BLLLLUUUURRRRRGH !
    :-P
    

    Dan,
    
    you don't appreciate a hard-body man?
    
    Redneck term for breasts postcards notwithstanding, they don't hire
    women who are round in all the wrong places, why would they higher a
    pot bellied male?
    
    Oh never mind, I know why, we wimmins aren't supposed to like eye
    candy.
    
    meg

    
    
    	may I flex for you meg? {flex}
    
    ;*)
    
    

    
    
    For those of you who need a visual image, picture Jim Carrey as the female 
    body builder........
    
    

    
    
    	BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHA.......! that's about got it....:)
    
    
    jim

    'm not gaking, but I am not visualizing either.
    
    meg

	HEY! Dan's back! Cool!

	I agree with Meg..... hard bodied men for all!

    that's the ticket!  and look for the stick in the thicket!

    naw,
    
    they just look silly most of the time.
    
    loincloth and nicely oiled (unhairy) pec's n deltoids, now that is 
    something to "hoot" about.
    
    meg

<----<insert a Homer Simpson drool>

    |they just look silly most of the time
    
    you know, you're right about that.

    ice coming off my hood...

    The cost of repairing my vehicle. A little light comes on, a lotta
    dough goes out. Grrrr. And it's not even ready on time. I'm currently
    driving a ('78?) Sedan de Ville as a loaner. It needs a tug to get it
    into the parking dock.

    
    Meg, bite your tongue.  Nothing better than a furry man.
    
    

    
    	Don't pay the furry man,
    	don't even fix a price.
    	Don't pay the furry man,
    	'til he gets you to the other side.
    
    
    
    	Doc, just snip the wire that goes to the light ... problem
    	solved, since it'll never come on again.
    

    And I suppose you'll offer me earplugs to make that noise go away,
    right?

    That's what the volume knob is for.  NNTTM either.  
    
    Brian & Shawn's Discount auto service.  "Pay us a little now and someone
    else a lot later."  

    
    	Yup, a month or so ago you could have bought a 300W car stereo
    	system from me that would have eliminated ALL unwanted noises
    	from your vehicle.
    
    	Nagging wife?  Crying kid?  No problem, with Helmet's "Unsung"
    	assaulting you at 110db.
    

re .367:

It would also have eliminated unwanted noises after you got out of the car.
For the rest of your life.  A bargain.

    What?  I couldn't hear my sterio.  My car was running.  

    
    
    	Pulling into the parking lot this morning and seeing a 
    	fairly new, pretty blue Toyota pickup that looks like
    	it had been used recently to transport horse or cow 
    	manure.  How did I know?  Because the bed of the truck hadn't
    	been washed out.  It was splashed over the side of the truck,
    	on the back windows of the cab and completely coated the inside
    	of the bed.
    
    	Gross.
    

    What was the bed doing there?

pretty crappy bed at that!

    Bed, indeed... they should'a used Astroturf, like our
    Concubine-in-Chief.
    
    Whoops, "concubine" is a woman, isn't it?  What's the term for
    a male "concubine"?
    
    Chris

    lucky

    >Bed, indeed... they should'a used Astroturf, like our
    >Concubine-in-Chief.
    
     Are you suggesting he's a kept man? One of many for this particular
    mistress? I suspect you are looking for another word. Perhaps akin to
    whoremaster.

    
    now let's not be repressively moralistic.
    

    
    
    
    I guess the bed had "Sheet" on it huh?
    
    
    re the light coming on ...money going out thing.
    
    who's to say that the light isn't defective!
    Good money generating ploy!  Lets make a light that comes
    on after 10000 miles.
    
    Chris
    :)

Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada:

Most youngsters send their Christmas wish lists to the
North Pole.

Reece Sellin is aiming a bit south -- to Redmond,
Washington.

The 14-year-old is sending an oversize Christmas card
and a computer program he wrote to Microsoft
Corporation Chairman Bill Gates.

The card contains one request.

"I want Bill Gates to call me," Reece said.  "I want to
talk about my future at Microsoft."

Reece, who has completed 14 computer courses at the
University College of the Cariboo in the last 13
months, is confident Gates will call sometime over the
holiday.

"I expect to get a call, maybe not on Christmas Day,
though.  He's a pretty busy guy," Reece said.

It is not his first attempt to contact his billionaire
role model.

Earlier this year, Reece also mailed off his resume,
some news clippings, his college transcripts and an
invitation to see him get his diploma.

"I got a Microsoft hat and a letter from his assistant
saying Bill was proud of my work," he said.

And if Gates doesn't call this time?

"This won't be my last attempt.  I'll keep trying until
I meet him."

    And your gaking because......???

... the kid seems to worship Bill Gates.  Or that could simply be the spin
on the article.

    He may want to sleep with him, you don't know for sure.

He'd be better off in the sack with Bill the Cat.

================================================================================
Note 548.283                  The Winter of '95/'96                   283 of 283
BIGQ::SILVA "Benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity"      1 line  28-DEC-1995 08:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
	did someone say anal?

    
    China has just released a report praising its own human rights record.
    

    
    	Gerald, why do you always have Sacks on your mind ?
    

    
    
    http://www.whitehouse.gov/White_House/Family/html/Life.html

    Beat me to it Ralson :-)
    

    
    re: .383
    
    Yeah.. but it's okay.... that's not his "schtick"...
    

    
    	If you've seen one schtick you've seen 'em all ... right?
    

Baton Rouge, Louisiana:

They want you to eat your grub.

And crickets.  And wax moths.

A small but energetic group of entomologists, farmers
and chefs is promoting edible insects, a foodstuff
better known in academic circles as "microlivestock."

But moving bugs off the science fair banquet circuit
and onto the American dinner table is a hard sell.

David Fluker, a cricket farmer who supplies zoos and
pet stores, is beginning to market the insects as a
human snack: freeze-dried, oven-roasted and dipped in
melted chocolate.  Fluker, who says he shipped 200
cases of chocolate crickets in the first two weeks,
introduced them at a trade show last year, along with
Cajun-spiced sauteed crickets.

McDonald's isn't about to offer mealworm burgers or
deep-fried crickets.  "But the idea of eating insects
is beginning to get some serious attention," said Gene
DeFoliart, an entomologist and editor of Food Insects
Newsletter, a quarterly that runs recipes for fried bee
larvae, sauteed giant ants and the like.

Ronald Taylor, an entomologist and co-author of
"Entertaining With Insects" a cookbook about to go into
its third printing, has a hard time fathoming
resistance to bug cuisine.

Noting that insects are closely related to popular
crustaceans, he said "It's interesting that we prefer
lobster and crab, which eat dead and decaying flesh.
Insects are far cleaner."

Next summer, he will demonstrate his beetle, moth-
larvae and cricket recipes at a food fair in Orange
County, California.  His piece de resistance uses the
larvae of wax moth, a pest that invades beehives.

"When you drop them in oil, they expand and explode
like popcorn," he said.  "It's particularly tasty."
How tasty?  "If you can tell me how bacon tastes, I
will describe how wax moth tastes," he said.

    I'd try the crickets.

    .391
    
    They're rather like popcorn.  Crunchier, though.

I was a trooper (I thought) and ate witchity grubs while on an outback tour 
in Oz.  Couldn't tell you how they tasted though, because I swallowed them 
as soon as they were in my mouth.  I also ate some kind of ant and they were 
actually quite tasty - when you bit into the end, you got a squirt of 
something that kind of tasted lemony - is this turning anyone off their 
lunch yet?

    Honeypot ants?  I like worms myself.

    
    
    
    
    
    			blurgh
    

    >I also ate some kind of ant and they were  actually quite tasty - when
    >you bit into the end, you got a squirt of  something that kind of
    >tasted lemony --
    
    	Formic acid.

  .396  was that a response or an answer?

The honeypot ants are used by the other ants in the colony as food storage
- they're not very mobile as the distortion of the abdomens frequently 
  prevents their legs touching the ground.
Bogon(g) moths are reportedly delicious, nutricious etc etc

I plan to give both a big miss.

\C

>    	Formic acid.

I entered a response (to this note I think) that there is an ant that
produces a lemon flavor instead of formic acid that was considered a
delicacy to the local natives.

As far as eating insects, consider the FDA's regulations at the amount of
insect parts in wheat, etc.  Also honey is essentially bee vomit, at least
twice over.

Also anyone interested in tasting wax moths, as a beekeeper I have more than
I want..

    
    
    
    	bee vomit...hehehehehe....:*)
    
    
    

>    	bee vomit...hehehehehe....:*)


That's right - That wasn't what they claimed it was when they accused Belushi
of buzzing off!

well it doesn't really make me "gak", but I've grossed out a few people since 
returning from the docs this morning by the multicolour bruises and not quite 
healed stitches on my hand.  The wrist is quite weak and the hand is very 
tender, but it hasn't gone numb on me since the operation (while my right 
hand continues to do so) so I guess it worked.

    getting up  3:00 this morning awakened by my cat yaking up a huge fur
    ball on the recliner.
    
    nope, i didn't get back to sleep (and yes, cleaned it up) gak!

	Chip, reminds me of an episode of Ren & Stimpy where Stimpy was
coughing up hairballs galore. 

    yech! i never did get back to the 1:15 minutes i had left to sleep...
    
    Chip

    The huge piece of crusty mung clinging to the bottom of my coffee mug. 
    It appears I imporperly stored it the last time I used it.  Funny how
    stuff like that stays gelatinous over such a long time.
    
    

    
    
    	reminds me of the veggies my parents left in the cellar for a year
    once. I wish I had done some time lapsed photography on this. The
    veggies (squash, etc) were lined up on some wooden palletes underneath
    a train set my brother and I had set up when we were kids. The veggies
    went from full sized, healthy squash, to fuzzy/green balls of mold, to
    little "gelatinous" (I like that word) pools, to being completely gone
    in a matter of a year. Neat science experiment folks....try it with the
    kiddies sometime....;*)
    
    
    jim

1.re<<< Note 414.407 by SUBPAC::SADIN "Freedom isn't free." >>>
>....try it with the kiddies sometime....;*)
Wasn't that what "Flowers in the Attic" was all about? Now *that* was gak


2.Caesar salad the next day - it looks like pond slime, it smells like pond 
  slime, and the croutons go all soggy.


\C

    
    
    	re: caesar salad
    
    	Oh gawd, I know *exactly* what you mean! GAK!
    
    

    
    <------   et tu Brutus

    I thought it was et to Brute.

    
    	No, Jack, it was "Use Brut".
    
    	Take a hint.
    

    Thanks1

    Beware the Ideas of Mart!

    Grrrrrr.......

Ernst Zundel on those free-speech-on-the-Internet advocates who have posted
his material:

"It's the dream of every dissident come true.  The good Lord is rewarding
me for my good deeds."

    Zundel was prosecuted under Canadian "hate" laws a few years back, and
    seemed pleased by the publicity he got.  
    
    -Stephen

Here's the Pillsbury Bake-Off winner:

Filling:
1/3 cup low-fat sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Cake:
1 pkg Pillsbury Moist Supreme Devil's Food Cake Mix
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/3 cup oil
1 16-ounce can sliced pears in light syrup, drained
2 eggs
1/3 cup chopped macadamia nuts or pecans
2 teaspoons water

Sauce:
1 17-ounce jar butterscotch caramel fudge ice cream topping
1/3 cup milk

I won't bother with the instrctions.

>  <<< Note 414.418 by NOTIME::SACKS "Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085" >>>

>I won't bother with the instrctions.

	somebody posted the whole thing in COOKS.  bluurgh.  they
	have a nerve calling this "baking".  

 I called Mom last night to wish her a happy birthday and she told me
 that a friend of hers made a dessert using that recipe..she said it
 was quite good..


 She was also pleased that I sent her flowers for her birthday ;-)




 Jim

"Where the vision becomes a journey worth taking".


This appears to be the latest slogan for the Wastebusters mob.

gak.

\C

A videotape of Richard Speck and another inmate snorting cocaine and having
oral and anal sex has surfaced.  In it, Speck says, "If only they knew how
much fun I was having in here, they'd turn me loose."

Peter Nicholas of Marlborough sold pictures of a fatal hit-run accident to the
Middlesex News.  He claimed that he saw a Thunderbird strike the victims.
Another witness said a gray Horizon struck them.  Hair and skin of one of
the victims was found on a gray Horizon belonging to Peter Nicholas.  Police
say they're not sure if the victim he struck was dead before Nicholas's
car struck him/her (the article doesn't say which victim his car struck.)

    TTMYGT:
    
    Hillary in a Merry Widow and garter belt...
    
    
    (bleah!>

    
    
    	{heave}

    Well, all things considered, better Hillary than either of the previous
    two most recent occupants of the White House.

    The cost of a Nissan 300ZX has approximately TRIPLED since I graduated
    from college in 1985.

    
    along those same lines, mark, i remember about a year and a half ago
    when i was dragged along car shopping with someone and i was nearly
    floored when i found out that a brand new (1995) mazda rx7 was priced
    at over 40,000...
    
    

    .427
    
    > The cost of a Nissan 300ZX has approximately TRIPLED...
    
    ...and what has happened to your personal income in that period?
    
    Remember, you placed the starting stake at your college graduation, not
    after you were hired in a so-to-speak well paying profession.

    Both the Nissan ZX and Mazda RX7 are history (at least in the US) as
    of this year; priced right into oblivion.

>    The cost of a Nissan 300ZX has approximately TRIPLED since I graduated
>    from college in 1985.

See, if you'd graduated 15 years earlier, you wouldn't have even known of such 
a vehicle.

    re: .427
    
    Not only that, but they will stop production at the end of this model
    year.
    
    BTW, I think the non-turbo only doubled in price since 1986 - 19K to
    38K.
    
    Bob

    >...and what has happened to your personal income in that period?
    
     I regret to say it has not quite kept pace with new car prices.

The price of a Mercedes-Benz sedan 600S starts at $130,000.

The Mazda RX7 is an econo-box, comparatively speaking.

HTH,

Art

    .433
    
    > I regret to say it has not quite kept pace with new car prices.
    
    By this I interpret you to say that your income today is less than
    three times what it was when you walked across the dais at your college
    graduation ceremony.

    I had already accepted a job at a salary > current_salary/3 to be
    started the following monday.

    .436
    
    Nit.  You were not, however, at that moment employed; hence, your
    income on that day was in fact <current_salary/3.

re .437:

What was the price of the 300ZX the Monday after his graduation?

 With what options?

Same as whatever .427 was looking at.  (Includes a turbo I guess...)

    Upside Down Spam Cake  
    
    Ingredients:
    
           2 sticks margarine or butter
           3 cups brown sugar
           1 pineapple
           2 cans Spam
           8 marachino cherries
           Your favorite cake mix
    

I saw that (and other equally yucky spam recipes) on the web.  Lemme see if
I can find it again...

|   I saw that (and other equally yucky spam recipes) on the web.  Lemme
|   see if I can find it again...
    
    Why?
    
    								-mr. bill

    gerald, that's where i got it from!

         Anyone out there actually try it? You never know...

Poutine pome.