Conference back40::soapbox

    veterans day is more deserving a national holiday than any other except
    july 4.

President Reagan asked me not to print this column this year [1982] to
punish the French for supplying oil pipeline equipment to the Soviets.  But
last week he changed course and lifted the embargo, thus making it possible
for me once again to explain what the American holiday "Thanksgiving" is
all about.

WASHINGTON -- One of our most important holidays is Thanksgiving Day, known
in France as Le Jour de Merci Donnant.

Le Jour de Merci Donnant was first started by a group of Pilgrims
(Pelerins) who fled from l'Angleterre before the McCarran Act to found a
colony in the New World (le Nouveau Monde) where they could shoot Indians
(les Peaux-Rouges) and eat turkey (dinde) to their hearts' content.

They landed at a place called Plymouth (now a famous voiture Americain) in
a wooden sailing ship called the Mayflower or Fleur de Mai, in 1620.  But
while the Pelerins were killing the dindes the Peaux-Rouges were killing
the Pelerins and there were several hard winters ahead for both of them. 
The only way the Peaux-Rouges helped the Pelerins was when they taught them
to grow corn (mais).  The reason they did this was that they liked corn
with their Pelerins.

In 1623, after another harsh year, the Pelerins' crops were so good that
they decided to have a celebration and give thanks because more mais was
raised by the Pelerins than Pelerins were killed by the Peaux-Rouges.

Every year on le Jour de Merci Donnant, parents tell their children an 
amusing story about the first celebration:

It concerns a brave capitaine named Miles Standish (known in France as 
Kilometres Deboutish) and a shy young lieutenant named Jean Alden.  Both of 
them were in love with a flower of Plymouth called Priscilla Mullens (no 
translation).  The vieux capitaine said to the jeune lieutenant:

"Go to the damsel Priscilla (allez tres vite chez Priscilla), the loveliest 
maiden of Plymouth (la plus jolie demoiselle de Plymouth).  Say that a
blunt old captain, a man not of words but of action (un vieux Fanfan la
Tulipe), offers his hand and his heart, the hand and heart of a soldier. 
Not in these words, you know, but this, in short, is my meaning.

"I am a maker of war (je suis un fabricant de la guerre) and not a maker of 
phrases.  You, bred as a scholar (vous, qui etes pain comme un etudiant),
can say it in elegant language, such as you read in your books of the
pleadings and wooings of lovers, such as you think best adapted to win the
heart of this maiden."

Although Jean was fit to be tied (convenable a etre emballe), friendship 
prevailed over love and he went to his duty.  But instead of using elegant 
language, he blurted out his mission.  Priscilla was muted with amazement
and sorrow (rendue muette par l'etonnement et la tristesse).

At length she exclaimed, interrupting the ominous silence: "If the great 
captain of Plymouth is so very eager to wed me, why does he not come
himself and take the trouble to woo me?" (Ou est-il, le vieux Kilometres? 
Porquoi ne vient-il pas aupres de moi pour tenter sa chance?)

Jean said that Kilometers Deboutish was very busy and didn't have time for 
those things.  He staggered on, telling her what a wonderful husband 
Kilometres would make.  Finally Priscilla arched her eyebrows and said in a 
tremulous voice: "Why don't you speak for yourself, Jean?" (Chacun a son
gout)

And so, on the fourth Thursday in November, American families sit down at a 
large table brimming with tasty dishes, and for the only time during the
year eat better than the French do.

No one can deny that le Jour de Merci Donnant is a grand fete and no matter
how well fed American families are, they never forget to give thanks to
Kilometres Deboutish, who made this great day possible.

    According to my school history books, the pilgrims were giving thanks
    to the indians.
    
    Nope, no censorship or revisionism in our public schools. 

You guys have the date wrong.... Thanksgiving was back in October :*)

    Ya get it but once a year, one assumes, Chris?  :-)
    

    well this year my family will be feasting more like the olden days.
    we'll be having creamed pheasant, venison steaks, sweet potatoes, fresh
    sweet corn, and cour cream raisin pie.
    
    

Where the heck're ya gettin' the fresh sweet corn from this time of year?

    
    wonder if they have a tofu moulded turkey at Petrinis?

    
    
    	we're just wanderin' about to the various relatives and feasting at
    their homes.....my kinda thanksgiving (I don't have to cook or clean).
    :)
    
    
    jim

    
    gene,
    
     They gonna get on your case for not having a wapiti roast??
    
    :)
    

>>Where the heck're ya gettin' the fresh sweet corn from this time of year?

    argentina

    then it should be termed "fr*sh."
    

    
     >>They gonna get on your case for not having a wapiti roast??
    
    no. you come to my house for viddles, you get what gets served. period.

    Any suggestions on a good soup to serve with a "traditional"
    Thanksgiving dinner (turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes,
    etc)?  Something that kids will like?
    
    Dan

    
    
    Potato leek soup.  yummy!  Would you like me to bring
    in the recipe?
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

   i'ze makin' corn chowdah, from some of the leftover corn
   from the gahd'n.  there's always squash soup too.  don't know
   if the kids would like that though.

    I have never seen a potato leak.

    
    
    That's *leEk*, not *leAk*
    
    
    It's a vegetable not a verb.....  :*)
    

    So, what you're saying is that you've actually seen a potato taking a
    leak?

    	Make homemade clam chowder.

    No, but I've seen plenty of spuds taking one...
    
    -b

    Masher!

	squash soup? Creamy, good tasting, and easy to make.

    
    yes that or pumpkin soup would be authentic.
    
    here in kaliph the authentic foods would be
    acorn porridge and abalone steak.

    Got enough *%$#$ acorn to make porridge, but I think the Lake Lanier
    abalone season has ended:-).
    
    Potato Leek sounds interesting.  I'll let you know if I need a recipe.
    
    Now, lets see, it it white or red wine with mountain oysters?
                                                       
    Dan

	in case you haven't checked, there's a whole truckload of soup
	recipes in COOKS on TURRIS:: - 592, for instance, has beaucoup
	recipes for soups made with vegetables, including potato leek.

    
      Unless you are among we few who stuff the turkey properly,
    with oysters that is, a good clam chowder would do.
    
      bb

	soup of sausage and wild mushrooms is nice too.

    di-corn chowder?  where do you live? :-))))))

    
    
    i *love* corn chowdah...the cafe here makes a pretty good one...
    
    anyway, this thanksgiving, i am in charge of bringing the salad and the
    chocolate chip cookies...steve's mother wouldn't let me do anything
    else.  oh well...
    
    and also, on this year's turkey day, my sister lyanne will turn 10.
    
    

    This year I have to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my wife's family
    (15-20 folks). Two of the four burners on my stove are out of order -
    Should be a good show for those who get to watch me cook!
    
    		Robert.

Forget Thanksgiving....  I spotted my first truckload of Xmas
trees on the highway this morning.  Direct from Grand Falls, 
New Brunswick to God-knows-where.

Perfect inspiration for folks like my m-i-l, who'll have the 
(plastic...  heresy!) tree together by sundown on Thursday.

joanne

    	Christmas tree stands are already set up and operational here
    	in Colorado Springs.

Note 24.31 by TOOK::NICOLAZZO
    
    >This year I have to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my wife's family
    >(15-20 folks).
    
    if you do this "right" you won't have this problem again. they will
    have all kinds of excuses for not coming.

re .34:

Garage turkey?

    yeah gerald. that'd be a start.

Unrinsed garage turkey, served with truck tire garnish,
could go a long way toward sealing the deal.

    Some of the turkeys I've 'et over the years make me wonder if the
    garage turkey somehow got switched with the truck tire...
    
    -b

    the garage turkey ain't the best one. once while i was but a lad, we
    had
    turkey dinner at the neighbors house. ma sent me home to fetch the
    cranberries cooking on the stove. running to the neighbors house i
    tripped and spilt the cranberries all over the lawn that was partially
    covered with snow. i knew ma would be furious. so i scooped up the
    cranberries with my hands. the snow melted and made the cranberries less
    than hot. so i ran back to our house, turned the heat on high, then
    re-sealed the cranberries with aluminum foil and served as was. i
    picked most of the dirt and grass outta the cranberries tho uncle eddie
    did chomp down on a small rock. i didn't have a helping of cranberries
    that year.
    

    	re .-1
    
    	Could have ben worse had you spilled them on a heavily-used
    	deer trail...

    Anyone ever had an exploded turkey? I think we had one that was
    overstuffed or somehow built up a little methane on its innards...
    blew open right along the top seam... that one was a real treat
    I tell ya...
    
    -b

    That's what happens when you overstuff the bird. The stuffing expands
    as it heats, and if you've really overdone it, poof!

 so nice to have a scientist in the group

    
    i'm almost tempted to get a tin of pyrodex and try creating
    an assault turkey, except that the state would probably take
    a dim view of such an activity.

    They also explode when you make the famous "Popcorn Stuffing"
    incorrectly.
    
    Dan

    blows up turkeys?

    	Bet that makes for a fun time cleaning the oven...

    Vince Gill, his wife and daughter have written a song called the
    "Turkey Slap" with the wife actually doing percussion with an unstuffed
    and uncooked turkey.  He plans on recording the tune accompanied by his
    guitar and his daughter's flute.

    Before I take off... just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.
    I hope that those of you who are traveling to be with loved ones have a
    safe and pleasant journey. I also hope that you are all free of such
    things as exploding turkeys, garage turkeys and cranberries of
    questionable origin.
    
    I'm spending the day with the parental units and the kids. The
    "vacation", however, will be anything but... I may have to work
    Friday to prepare for a customer visit next week and I also
    have a full weekend of recording sessions booked at my studio...
    and, of course, the chief engineer wanted the weekend off. So
    that leaves a staff of one... yours truly. No complaints though...
    
    My first sorta-single Thanskgiving in 14 years is about to blow by
    almost un-noticed...
    
    -b

    
    
    
    Ah, yes....Happy Turkey Day everyone...I'm about out of here too.
    With the traffic anticipated, I'll be lucky if it only takes me
    2.5 hours to get home..
    
    
    See you all on monday.
    
    
    Terrie
    

================================================================================
Note 129.1                   Stupid Fireworks Tricks                      1 of 3
STEREO::BROWN "I'm the NSA"                          20 lines  23-MAR-1990 07:06
                               -< a real turkey >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	PORTLAND, Ore. (UPI) -- The chemistry class assignment: Demonstrate
the mushroom-shaped cloud of a nuclear explosion.

	Some students drew posters. Carl Podeyn and John Jubb wanted a more
realistic simulation, so they tried to blow up a turkey stuffed with
black powder.

	They should've stuck with the posters.

	Podeyn was hospitalized in fair condition Friday with burns
suffered Thursday night after the Sunset High School students tried to
set off the bird bomb with a match.

	The two 17-year-olds, planning to videotape their experiment, had
stuffed 5 1/2 to 6 pounds of black powder inside a raw turkey and then run
a trail of gasoline-soaked powder 30 feet from the bird to act as a
fuse, said Jeff Johnson of the Tualatin Valley Fire and Reascue.

	When they touched the fuse with a match, it flared into Podeyn's
face, Johnson said. Jubb was not injured, authorities said.

	The fuse fizzled and the bomb was a dud. But Johnson said the
Portland Bomb Squad was called to dispose of the turkey and its
unconventional stuffing. Bomb squad officers detonated the gobbler with
an electric fuse. The explosion shot meat and a plume of smoke 200 feet
in the air.

>> The explosion shot meat and a plume of smoke 200 feet
>> in the air.       
    
    Yeah, but was it mushroom-shaped?
    
    Chris

    
    .48
    
    Vince Gill's wife:  (first name ?) Gill of Sweethearts of the Rodeo.
                                    

    
    
    
    We may have a white thanksgiving afterall.
    
    
    It's snowing like crazy in Littleton, MA
    
    :(
    Terrie
    

    
    i'd better go get something to eat for tomorrow before the stores
    get mobbed.
    
    mebbe i'll take out that pesky raccoon instead..

>    mebbe i'll take out that pesky raccoon instead..

Mighty good eatin'.  Just make sure you wipe off the foam around the mouth.

    
>    mebbe i'll take out that pesky raccoon instead..




 I hear they make lovely dining companions..where are you going to take it?



Jim

    i heard they made good stew after appropriate skinning.

    
    even if they can cook i doubt i'd want to see one nekkid.

    
    You can tie an apron around its little waist, rah honey.
                  

Note 24.60 by CSC32::M_EVANS
    
    >>i heard they made good stew after appropriate skinning.
    
    i have "heard" such myself. ;-)

Happy Thanksgiving 'box folk.

 ..and the same to you, sir!




  Jim

    
    What the heck are you doing in here?  Go watch football.

    
    what are people eating today? I had a tuna sand from 7/11
    earlier and some MMs a few minutes ago.
    
    later on I'll make some pasta with fresh basil and a chicken
    breast with thyme.

    well RAH we had
    
    creamed pheasant (freshly shot BTW)
    mashed potatoes
    vegitable tray (carrots, celery, radishes, etc.)
    pickle/olive tray (sweet and dill pickels, black and green olives)
    wine
    mocha creme coffee
    cooked brocholi (sp) and cheese plate
    fresh watermelon
    steamed sweet corn
    sour cream and raisin pie
    chockolate fudge cream pie
    
    since my youngest daughters b-day was yesterday we go whole hog on
    Xgiving.

    {salivate}

    
>    What the heck are you doing in here?  Go watch football.




    I  was killin time before I went to my ex's..had a rather nice time, 
    actually, though my eldest son tends to put things on edge a bit.

    We had turkey will all the usual stuff..my ex does make a nice t-day
    spread..watched some football, ate too much

    No pecan pie though :-(




 Jim

Well, we just had turkey, stuffing, multicolored rice (?), baked potatoEs,
rolls, corn pie, cranberry sauce, Virginia Dry Riesling, Pumpkin Pie, lemon
squares, and ice cream.

You know you're hanging out with the Washington Foreign Service intelligentsia
when you're introduced as "Pam and John" and the response is "Isn't that the
capital of North Korea?"

/john

Had -

   Smoked Turkey with cranberry/orange relish.

   And a beer. Or three.

  (Brought the turkey in off the smoker at 1700 and finished it off in the
   oven for an hour. Delicious.)

(Lunch was left over veal parmigian with spaghetti ala puttanesca - last
 night's dinner while #2 daughter was with me.)

Wasted the rest of the day on the PC whilst watching Ripley's Believe It or
Not Marathon on the SciFi Channel.

    
    
    
    
    Didn't see one football game over the weekend.  Didn't see more than
    one either.  
    
    Mike

    Does anybody else have meat stuffing? Yum! Turkey with pork stuffing,
    mashed potatoes, diced carrots, cranberry sauce, gravy, rolls,
    Pinnacles monterey pinot noir 1990 (yum). Also turnip, celery
    casserole, butternut squash, apple crisp, strawberry cheesecake,
    cookies, etc.

    my god! no wonder you americans have weight problems!

    
    
    
    We do the apple walnut dressing.  Got a real good recipe a few years
    back.  Had a lot of fun wrestling the bird out of the oven last
    Thursday, but didn't lose it one the floor, it was touch and go for a
    while though. :')
    
    
    
    Mike

    >Had a lot of fun wrestling the bird out of the oven last
    
    Presumably turkey-wrestling is part of the festivities, then? I take
    the bird was stiull alive?

    
    
    
    Nah, she was deadern a doornail, it was trying to balance the boid on
    the little string cradle that they give you while trying to get the bag
    off.  Yup, she was an ugly boid. :')
    

    Nov 23, 1994  Matthew's 12th birthday
    Nov 24, 1994  Clayton's 8th birthday
    
    Nov 24, 1994 - Thanksgiving day! 
    
    I invited a very poor Mexican family of 8 to my home for Thanksgiving. 
    This family was very dear to my late friend, Ed Guinan.  I also had my
    previous roommates who were Chinese and my current roommates which are
    Iranian. :-)  It was a real winner of a day!
    
    I had learned some Chinese, some Persian and LOTS of Spanish - I was
    confusing everyone! :-)
    
    Disaster struck before everyone got there, toilet overflowed, burned my
    green beans, and my oldest turned the turkey off before it was
    finished! I was besides myself for all of 20 minutes and then I just
    improvised..
    
    All turned out well,inspite of.

    
    on the table, there was turkey, stuffing, corn, potatoes, some kind of
    squash (didn't eat it), turnip (didn't eat it), peas, cranberry sauce,
    rolls, broccoli casserole, and salad.  
    
    for dessert, there was an apple pie, some sort of vanilla pudding pie, 
    axlegrease pie (don't ask...but it is yummy!) and my cookies that were 
    pretty much gone before dessert even started...
    
    and there was football to be watched and a brand new baby to visit...
    
    

 pirozhki, crafted by the skilled fingertips of a dear Russian 
 friend, were the piece de resistance.

 just found out a friend of mine wanted to offer me 30 bucks to
 make an apple pie for her.  sheesh.  30 bucks?  didn't know
 whether or not to tell her i would have done it for free.  ;>

    turkey with bread, apple, prune, onions and celery for stufffing,
    port-wine turkey gravy, pearl onions in balsalmic sauce, mashed
    potatoes, yams in maple syrup, salad, apple, mincemeat, and pumpkin
    pies, and a ham smoked on the weber.  Balatorre spumante and winterfest
    beers available along with sparkling cider for the abstmious and kids,.  
    
    We had a houseful, as we have lots of friends without family in town.  

    
    wheres the weber part of a ham?

    RE: .53  
    
    Vince Gill's wife is Janice -- yes, of "Sweethearts of the Rodeo"

    
    See, she's a somebody, not just a generic wife.
                                             

    
    is that better than being generic?

    
    well...not to be unkind towards those who aren't somebody, but yes.
    

    Everybody is somebody ... it's just that some bodies have more than
    others! :-)

    Hm, let's see if that neuron is still operating...
    
    Cheddar and crackers
    Crab-stuffed mushrooms
    Hot crab dip
    	Stonington Vineyards Seaport White NV
    
    Shrimp & lobster cocktail
    	Perrier-Jou�t Brut NV
    
    Roast turkey, with gravy
    Bread stuffing
    French stuffing
    Squash (Blue Hubbard)
    Green bean casserole
    Cranberry sauce (fatta in casa)
    olives, kumquats (special request of b-i-l), pickles, &c.
    	Ch. Laville Haut Brion '88
    	Vieux Telegraph '86
    
    French Apple Pie
    Blueberry Celebration Pie (requires only 4 hours to prepare)
    Mincemeat & pear tart
    	Harvey's Bristol Cream
    

    
    Hey, John!  Change the title of this topic to read simply "Thanksgiving"
    so that no-one feels the need to start a new Thanksgiving topic!
    
    ;^)
    

    Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Turkey   :)

    
      I'm moving over here.  The Halloween topic is turning into a
     bad neighborhood.
    
      Sooooo...  What do you stuff your bird with ?
    
    
      bb

     Pork stuffing. It's da best.

	grandma's special stuffing. yum.....

    
    
    Oyster stuffing, of course....apple/walnut ain't bad either.

 I'm contemplating doing my own bird this year. Lately I've been going to 
 my ex's for Thanksgiving dinner, but I can't handle it there anymore, what
 with all the smokers and ill mannered offpsring of a friend of her's that
 are always there.


 But, I think I'll use her recipe for stuffing ;-)

    
    
    A neighbor of ours, who is of German ancestry, invited us over awhile
    back and had roast chicken with what she called Mama's Old German
    stuffing... it consisted mostly of prunes and apples with various
    spices... It was excellent, and will, hopefully, be the highlight of
    this year's turkey...

    
    	If prunes are the highlight of the turkey, I feel very sorry for
    	you, and will offer to at least send you a couple "normal" turkey
    	sandwiches after the holiday.
    

    
    
    RE: .99  Well, at least you won't feel bloated for very long.  Just
    hope the family doesn't all hang around to long, or if they do that
    there are a lot of bathrooms in the house.....

    
    re: .99
    
    Hey!!
    
    Prunes are good for you!!! Better'n that stuff you inhale and call
    food!!!
    
    
    :)
    

    Apples, celery, onions and herbed cornbread cubes.  
    
    One year we did, blue cornbread, pinions, and chorizo stuffing for a
    southwestern-style meal.  
    
    

    
    	Well, I've been told that spinach is good for you, also, and I am
    	enough of a decent human being to take people's word for it and
    	not have to [dis]prove it by actually eating some.
    
    	Therefore, I believe you that prunes are good for you.
    

    Apples, raisins, celery, sausage, cranberries, cornbread
    
    

    
    Jumpin' Giblets!
    by Dave Barry
    November 5, 1995
    from the Boston Sunday Globe
    reprinted without permission
    
    We are approaching Thanksgiving, when we pause to reflect on our
    blessings by eating pretty much nonstop for an entire day, then
    staggering off to bed, still chewing, with wads of stuffing clinging to
    our hair.
       It's a spiritual time, yes, but it can also be a tragic time if an
    inadequately cooked turkey gives us salmonella poisoning, which occurs
    when tiny turkey dwelling salmon get into our blood, swim upstream, and
    spawn in our brains (this is probably what happened to Ross Perot).
    That's why the American Turkey and Giblet Council recommends that, to
    ensure proper preparation, you cook your turkey in a heated oven for at
    least two full quarters of the Vikings-Lions game, then give a piece to
    your dog and observe it closely for symptoms such as vomiting, running
    for president, etc.
       Someday, perhaps, we won't have to take these precautions, not if
    the US government approves a radical new concept in poultry safety
    being proposed by a company in Rancho Cucamonga, California. I am not
    making up Rancho Cucamonga: It's a real place whose odd-sounding name,
    if you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean
    "Cucamonga Ranch". I am also not making up the poultry safety advance,
    which was discussed in an article by Randyl Drummer in the May 16 issue
    of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, sent in by many alert readers.
       Before I quote from this story, I need to issue a WARNING TO
    TASTEFUL READERS: You should not - I repeat, not - read the rest of
    this column if you are likely to be in any way offended by the term
    "turkey rectums."
       The article appears on the Daily Bulletin's business page, under the
    headline "Pacer Backing New Use for Glue." It begins, I swear, as
    follows:
       "RANCHO CUCAMONGA - Jim Munn hopes that the government and the poultry
    industry will get behind his process for gluing chicken and turkey
    rectums." Jim Munn, the story explains, is the president of Pacer
    Technology, which makes Super Glue. Munn, the story states, believes
    that meat contamination can be reduced by "gluing shut the rectal
    cavities of turkeys and chicken broilers." (Needless to say, this would
    be done *after* the chickens and turkeys have gone to that big barnyard
    in the sky; otherwise, everybody involved would have to be paid a
    ridiculous amount of money.)
       The story states that "Munn became intrigued by a poultry
    rectal-glue product after a federal inspector contacted him and said he
    had used Super Glue on a turkey."
       I find it hard to believe that a federal employee would admit such a
    thing after what happened to Bob Packwood, but Jim Munn thought it was
    a terrific concept. He plans to market the product under the name - get
    ready - Rectite. "Poultry officials applaud the idea," states the
    story.
       I do, too. I am all for gluing turkeys shut; in fact, I think they
    should be glued shut *permanently*, because, as a consumer, I do not
    wish to come into contact with those gross organs, necks, glands, etc.,
    that come packed inside them. There are few scarier experiences in life
    than having to put your unarmed hand inside the cold, clammy recesses
    of a darkened turkey and pull those things out, never knowing when one
    of them will suddenly come to life like the creature in the movie
    "Alien", leap off your kitchen counter, and skitter around snacking on
    household residents.
       So, I urge you to telephone your congressperson immediately and
    state your position on this issue clearly and forcefully, as follows:
    "I favor gluing turkey rectums!" And while you have your congressperson
    on the line, you might want to point out that The Walt Disney Co. is
    secretly using cartoon movies to promote sex. Yes. I have here a
    document, from an organization called the American Life League,
    entitled 'Official Statement on Disney's Perverted Animation." The
    document states that Disney has been putting smut into its cartoon
    movies and cites the following examples, which I am not making up:
       � In "Aladdin", "when Prince Ababwa calls on Princess Jasmine on her
    balcony, a voice whispers, 'Good teen-agers, take off your clothes.' "
    The document further asserts that in the same movie, Abu the monkey
    says a bad word.
       � In "The Little Mermaid", the officiator in the wedding scene "is
    obviously sexually aroused." Not only that, but "the box cover of "The
    Little Mermaid" contains a phallic symbol in the center of the royal
    castle."
       � In "The Lion King", when Simba plops down, 'The cloud of dust that
    he stirs up, to the upper left of his head, forms the letters S-E-X."
       None of this surprises me. I have been suspicious of the Disney
    people ever since it was first pointed out to me, years ago, that
    Donald Duck does not wear pants. There is *way* more of this perversion
    going on than we are aware of, and it is not limited to Disney. Look at
    the shape of the Life Savers package! Are we supposed to believe that's
    *coincidence*? No. This kind of thing is everywhere, and today I am
    calling on you readers, as concerned individuals with a lot of spare
    time, to look for instances of hidden perversion in commercial
    products, then report them to me by sending a postcard to: Smut Patrol,
    Care of Dave Barry, Miami Herald, Miami, Florida 33132.
       Working together, we will get to the bottom of this. And then we
    will glue it shut.
    

    I wonder how long before Thanksgiving gets the axe, too? (from schools)

 It's OK in the schools..they teach the kids that we are giving thanks to the
 Indi...er, Native Americans.




 Jim

    
    	I see that as conflicting with "Worship no other gods but me".
    

    I will not worship you Shawn. Nope, not goinna do it. Wouldn't be
    prudent.

    
    I make my paternal grandmother's wonderful bread/apples/onions/raisins 
    stuffing, usually.  I won't be having it this year, tho, because I'll be 
    meandering up Toronto way that holiday.
    
    Perhaps I'll have a poutine on Thanksgiving Day.
    

    
    	Glenn, then I suggest you stay away from open expanses during
    	thunder storms.
    

    Oh, don't get thor with me now

re .93:

>      I'm moving over here.  The Halloween topic is turning into a
>     bad neighborhood.

Since Haag's gone, Veteran's Day gets no respect.

	my family's stuffing recipe, which, by the way, was passed down to
	us from Miles Standish's lesser-known cousin, Mildly Standoffish,
	involves no meat, seafood, or fruit.  boring as hell, we are.
	oh yes - and proud of it, too.

    
    
    And what's all this talk of tomorrow being erection day???????

Time for everyone to re-read reply .2

/john

    
    	Don't go confusing the issue by trying to introduce facts, Covert.
    
    	This discussion has been thriving thus far on ignorance, and I see
    	no reason to change that now.
    

       
       <---- ANOTHER GREAT NOTE, SHAWN, THANKS FOR MISSING THE POINT AND
       <---- GIVING US A CHUCKLE!!

    
    	Topaz, if it weren't for the set-ups I gave you [and if Jack were
    	anything but Jack] you wouldn't have any reason to write anything
    	in here.
    
    	Well, that is, unless you resurrected that stupid anagram machine
    	again.
    

    
    >Well, that is, unless you resurrected that stupid anagram machine
    >again.
    
    
    If he does, I'll have to kill you for mentioning it...
    

    
    > 	Topaz, if it weren't for the set-ups I gave you [and if Jack were
    > 	anything but Jack] you wouldn't have any reason to write anything
    > 	in here.

    So it's your fault....hhhmmm... Shawn, I'd like to meet you, I have
    something I want to give you.... ;->  

    

    Sound familiar Jack...?!?!

    	Wild rice and almond stuffing.

    
    Hey, I heard about this neet stuffing idea. You make the
    stuffing out of, get this, stale bits of bread. Whoda
    thunkit.
    
    -b

       FYI, wild rice isn't rice.
       
       Hth,
       
       --Mr Topaz

    >Hey, I heard about this neet stuffing idea. You make the
    >stuffing out of, get this, stale bits of bread. Whoda
    >thunkit.
    
    This never made sense to me. I remember my parents saving bread crusts
    in a paper bag for weeks, to be used in making the Thanksgiving
    dressing. The day before Thanksgiving they would soak all the bread in
    warm water, prior to adding the other ingredients.
    
    No family visits this Thanksgiving, so I'm taking my wife and son out
    to dinner. Should be fun.

| <<< Note 24.123 by CSC32::J_OPPELT "Wanna see my scar?" >>>

| Wild rice and almond stuffing.


	Can you send me the recipe for this? Or post it in here? This sounds
real good! I love almonds!


Glen

    
    	Croutons, mushrooms, celery, onion, and sausage - but this year,
    	we'll be having dinner at my Dad's, so we'll have his version,
    	which seems to gain more ingredients each year (all of the above,
    	plus walnuts, apples, cranberries).
    
    	My Dad makes a *great* Thanksgiving dinner.
    
    	Karen
    

    karen,
    
    Dried or "fresh" cranberries?
    
    I've been thinking about trying dried cranberries in stuffing.
    
    meg

    We merged an interesting recipe from the newspaper with our own and
    evolved a stuffing with chicken-apple sausage, spinach, apples,
    mushrooms, and a few other odds and ends - been a hit for the last four
    stuffed turkeys.  This year we're doing something new from one of the
    Silver Palate books, with Grand Marnier and oranges.
    
    DougO

Chestnut stuffing.

But this year Suz invited me to have T'day dinner with her family, so I
don't know how the Turkey will be done, except properly.

    
    	meg,
    
    	Dad uses fresh, because he's a cranberry farmer now :-), among
    	other things, so he's always got a large supply on hand around
    	Thanksgiving.
    
    	Karen
    

    
    Time to say what you're thankful for, or who you're thankful to.
    
    

    my stockbroker.

    I'd like to thank Ronald and Nancy Raygun for providing a entertaining
    teenagehood. I'd like to thank George and Barbara Bush for continueing
    the tadition and even giving me a good war to brag about to other
    peoples grandchildren(i dont plan on any myself). I'd like to thank
    Billary for the lastest budget schmuck. It makes me laugh!! (Weren't
    the middle class a revolutionary class at one time? Do these workers
    have no genitals? [very PC]
    
    good night enjoy your turkeys boys and girls. and for all you veggies
    out there enjoy a nice big bean loaf. and for anybody that doesn't give
    a hoot, I hear ya.
    

    
    Alas, my plea in .91 was for naught.   :^)
    

See Topic 24.

    I'm sooooooooooooo thankful the FED is back to work. I didn't know what
    I was going to do without them.

    
    well I'm pretty thankful in general actually. everyone's in good
    health, employed etc.... The only complaint I have is that my good
    friend, and hopefully someday future wife, is in Georgia. :-(
    
    other than that, life is good.

    
    well I wanted to wish all the 'boxers a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!!!
    
    myself, am going to enjoy the football games and beer. possibly
    leftover pizza for dinner. Traditonal turkey day meal has been moved
    to friday, due to circumstances beyond control.
    
    Enjoy all.
    
    well, we know doc won't be bringing a box-o-wine to his guests, so
    just curious as to the selection for dead bird.

    
      Let us offer Praise and Thanksgiving.  After all, we have the 104th
     Congress.
    
      bb

We praise thee, O God; we acknowledge thee to be the Lord.
All the earth doth worship thee, the Father everlasting.
To thee all Angels cry aloud;
	the Heavens and all the Powers therein.
To thee Cherubim and Seraphim continually do cry:
	Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Sabaoth;
	Heaven and earth are full of the Majesty of thy glory.
The glorious company of the Apostles praise thee.
The goodly fellowship of the Prophets praise thee.
The noble army of Martyrs praise thee.
The holy Church throughout all the world
	doth acknowledge thee;
The Father, of an infinite Majesty;
Thine adorable, true, and only Son;
Also the Holy Ghost, the Comforter.

Thou art the King of Glory, O Christ.
Thou art the everlasting Son of the Father.
When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man,
	thou didst humble thyself
	to be born of a Virgin.
When thou hadst overcome the sharpness of death,
	thou didst open the kingdom of heaven
	to all believers.
Thou sittest at the right hand of God,
	in the glory of the Father.
We believe that thou shalt come to be our Judge.
We therefore pray thee, help thy servants,
	whom thou hast redeemed with thy precious blood.
Make them to be numbered with thy saints,
	in glory everlasting.

O Lord, save thy people, and bless thine heritage.
Govern them, and lift them up for ever.
Day by day we magnify thee;
And we worship thy Name ever, world without end.
Vouchsafe, O Lord, to keep us this day without sin.
O Lord, have mercy upon us, have mercy upon us.
O Lord, let thy mercy be upon us, as our trust is in thee.
O Lord, in thee have I trusted; let me never be confounded.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son,
	and to the Holy Ghost.
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be,
	world without end.  Amen.

    
    Tis time for my annual Thanksgiving rant!
    
    I want each and every one of you to think about your actions
    tomorrow. Yes, I'm talking turkey. 
    
    Think of it! approx. 200 million people will be comsuming these
    poor innocent creatures tomorrow. But this is only a small part of
    the escalating assault being perpetrated on turkeys within our
    culture. 
    
    We now have damn near everything under the sun made of turkey.
    Turkey sausages, turkey meatballs, turkey hotdogs, turkey bologna,
    turkey linguini, and god help us, turkey ham! That's not all.
    We also have turkey bacon (????) turkey keilbasa, and what may be
    the worst of all, turkey meatloaf! (or is that a musical group?).
    
    I tell you there is no end in sight and not one of you is innocent. 
    I'd wager that no one, not a single one of you has taken the time to get 
    to know a turkey personally. (and no, Mike W. doesn't count).
    
    I hope you all reconsider this matter and join me in stopping
    this before it gets completely out of control.
    When that turkey comes by at the dinner table, remember that
    at one time that poor thing was someones relative, someones baby,
    or egg if you prefer. Refuse a helping and join my cause.
    
    After all, today it may be turkeys. Tomorrow it may be you.
    
    					Hank 

re .143

	You forgot turkey schnitzel.

	Ever since I told my wife about the Putenschnitzel I was served
	in Germany, we've stopped having Wienerschnitzel at home.

	Save a calf, kill a turkey.

/john

    Since virtually all of them are conceived in an unnatural fashion, I
    say eat'em all!  It puts them out of the misery of never being able to
    have a satisfying sex live with anything other than shoes and having
    their legs collapse out from under them when their body is too big for
    their legs, not to mention a family tree with fewer forks than some
    geographical areas are rumored to have.  Yes I have known turkeys up
    close personal and my shoe lived to talk about it another day.  
    
    

    
    So, where do we send our donations, Hank?
    
    
    Mike

    The turkeys in Canada will be holding a candlelight vigil tonight as
    they mourn the loss of their American compatriots on what they call
    "Murder Day".

Glenn, will you be attending?

    
    .147
    
    so Glenn, I take it you will be participating.

    Hey! I ain't no Butterball!

    
    
    No, but you've been plucked.....

    
    << Hey! I ain't no Butterball!
    
    that is not what your wife says, however.

              eh?
	      /
	  oO)-.
	 /__  _\       
	 \  \(  |      
	  \__|\ {                                             
	  '  '--'   

re .153:

That's a pretty sad looking, turkey.

'E wasn't p'ticularly 'appy as a frog, neither.

			     
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                       '-~^\_/ |    |   `\_   ,^             /\
                            /  \     \__   \/~               `\__
                        _,-' _/'\ ,-'~____-'`-/                 ``===\
                       ((->/'    \|||' `.     `\.  ,                _||
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                                 __-^-_    `)  \-.______________,-~'
                                ///,-'~`__--^-  |-------~~~~^'
                                        ///,--~`-\

    
    Come on Glenn, I liked the long version better

    I'm trying to save disk space.

    
    .156
    
    that looks familiar, like somebody I know.

    
    >Since virtually all of them are conceived in an unnatural fashion,
    >[...]  It puts them out of the misery of never being able
    >to have a satisfying sex live with anything other than shoes and
    >having their legs collapse out from under them when their body is too big
    >for their legs, not to mention a family tree with fewer forks than some
    >geographical areas are rumored to have.
    
    Look Meg, can we keep discussions of the first family in 
    the appropriate topic please? Jeez.
    
    
    							Hank

    	Is "fat-free Butterball Turkey" an oxymoron?

    
    	How about
    
    	"fat-free I-can't-believe-it's-not-Butterball Turkey"
    
    	?
    

>    	"fat-free I-can't-believe-it's-not-Butterball Turkey"
    
   
     Or  "fat-free I-can't-believe-it's-not-butterliteball-turkey" 

    
    When I used to see those Bill Shatner ads for Promise Margarine,
    I remember thinking to myself "yeah, and _I_ can't believe it's
    not a toupee!"

    -b

       > The turkeys in Canada 
       
       That pretty much covers everyone there.

    << OH! Good one!!!

There was the old joke about former P.M. Brian Mulroney:

	Why does Brian Mulroney carry a turkey around under his arm?



	Spare parts.

/john

To all my 'Murrican fellow 'boxers - I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

To all the Brit and Canuck fellow 'boxers - thanks for keeping the company
going over the next few days!

To all the Aussie fellow 'boxers (that's you, Chele) - It's almost the weekend,
isn't it?

 Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence
 of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits
 and humbly implore His protection, aid and favors..

 now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November
 next, to be devoted by the people of these states to the service of that great
 and glorious Being, who is the Beneficient Author of all the good that was,
 that is, and that will be that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him
 our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the 
 people of this country, and for all the great and glorious favors which
 He has been pleased to confer on us.


      George Washington 1789

Oy,  Mr Delbalso!  
An Aussie fellow 'boxer?  Makes me sound like a mortician - still, it's in 
keeping with being down under.

It's nearly Friday - give thanks!



\C

    <----  no wonder she's so witty, she has a 16 hour head start!

I {like} you Mr Richardson, even if you have made me {blush}.



It's Friday - yay - and the sun has finally put in an appearance after 6 days 
of rain - yay!


\C

Well, I just got a phone call from Z-Man, and while showing him AltaVista,
we discovered a woman at UWisc named Amy Zarlenga who seems to have been
rather prolific writing all sorts of garbage in the campus noozine:

http://www.cardinal.wisc.edu/issues/v104/951120/951120.opn_thanksgiving.html

Thanksgiving: A violation of human, animal rights

By Holly Shoemaker and Amy Zarlenga
of The Cardinal staff

Many think Thanksgiving is about family
gatherings, eating plenty of turkey and                 Cartoon of turkey
indulging in large amounts of pumpkin pie,              carrying sign:
as well as honoring the tradition created
approximately 350 years ago by the English            "Hell no, we won't go!"
settlers and the Native Americans. However,
we have come to a conclusion: the reason we
celebrate Thanksgiving is just not humane.

Let's give you a brief rundown about what we are supposed to think
Thanksgiving is about:

In 1620, the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock. Pilgrims unloaded by the
dozens, deciding to make the New World their home. They came to America to
escape harsh religious persecution and find opportunity. They spread their
wisdom among themselves, but soon ran into the indigenous peoples. Instead
of fighting the indigenous peoples, the Pilgrims made peace with them and
engaged in trade. The indigenous peoples decided not to fight the Pilgrims
off of their land, though they had been invaded. They shared their customs,
and had a huge feast, befriending different people.

Okay, let's get back to reality. It's hard to believe how many Americans are
gullible enough to believe this fairy tale. Why should we believe this when
history shows us the injustices against Native Americans? We will concede
Thanksgiving is a way to see family and friends. Native Americans have had
their land taken away and have been forced into reservations. This, then, is
essentially what you are celebrating and giving thanks for.

While this is an injustice on the human level, you can also look at
Thanksgiving from an animal rights perspective.

Does anyone stop to think of the injustices committed against them?
Obviously not, or millions of turkeys would not be bred for the purpose of
such a holiday. Did you know:

   * 90 percent of turkeys sold worldwide are the offspring of a few
     thousand pedigreed superbirds raised on overguarded farms owned by
     three multinational corporations that control the world market. This
     means some are allowing these capitalistic corporations to monopolize
     the world market for self-indulgence.
   * In the U.S. turkeys are so overfed they cannot even stand on their two
     drumsticks. Many die before Thanksgiving, which may be fortunate for
     them. The sad part is so many are crushed by their own weight. This is
     cruel and unusual- a torture no living thing should have to endure.
   * Almost every turkey is a result of artificial insemination. This is
     taking them out of their natural habitat. Turkeys should be able to
     mate naturally.
   * Turkeys are now one of the world's most exploited birds. Breeders keep
     them alive to turn a quick profit. A "natural" turkey is now rare.

When you sit down with your family, it is time to ask yourself, for what are
you really thankful? If you believe it is for the turkey on your plate or
the false history, think again. One should be thankful for family and
friends, but that is not what Thanksgiving is really about. One should be
thankful for these things all year 'round. Eating a bird should not make you
feel thankful, especially knowing the cruel conditions under which they are
forced for consumption.

What we really need to do is celebrate the diversity in our country and
appreciate the things in life for which we are thankful, whatever they may
be. By embracing Thanksgiving, one is embracing our historic wrongs and
missing an opportunity to show thanks for what is really important to one in
life.

She prolly has a "Save the Turkeys" bumper sticker.

    
    	great.  Now all the 'boxers will want one.
    
    

    Is Z Man still in the ACLU?!

    Pass the dark meat please, and the stuffing.  

    
    	Same here ... dark meat ROOLZ.
    

 I'll have the cranberries, please, and where's that sweet badayda pie?



 Jim

    
    Sweet potatoe and cranberry abuse!!!!!  STOP THIS INHUMANE TREATMENT OF
    CRANBERRIES AND SWEET POTATOES!!!!!!!!
    
    
    No, Z is not a part of the ACLU.  He says that there was no talking to
    the people.  
    
    
    As for the editorial, the gal really has a problem with logic.  She
    makes too many assumptions in what she thinks people's beliefs are.
    
    
    Mike

    Not to mention playing fast and loose with the truth.

    <--- Indeed.  She shows no understanding of the holiday that she is so
    quick to demonize.

    I don't know about saving the Turkey and exploiting it, but I had food 
    poisoning after thanksgiving,(from a gross turkey I assume). 
    Guess that's one less dead turkey for thanksgiving...
    (the first year that I didn't give much thanks)!!
    
    
    me

You ate 144 turkeys?  That wasn't food poisoning; that was ...

Oh.  You said "a gross turkey", not "a gross of turkeys".  Never mind.

It's very easy to undercook large birds; you have to be very careful.
In addition, as soon as you put the bird into the oven, you then have
to sterilize all of the utensils and counter spaces previously used in
preparing the bird before doing any other food preparation.

/john

Food poisoning, yuck!  You alternate between thinking you're going to die
and wishing you would.

    
    "Sterilize...STER...IL...IZE..."
    

| <<< Note 24.183 by ABACUS::MINICHINO >>>

| (from a gross turkey I assume).

	You had 12 dozen turkeys? I don't think it was food poisening.... I
think it was overeating that did you in!

    
    GOOD GRIEF!
    
    I just read .173 and I cannot believe it.
    My rant was merely in jest.
    To think that someone actually thinks that way.......yeesh!
    
    Still, I will not tolerate turkey bacon so there!
    
    							Hank

    >To think that someone actually thinks that way
    
     At least put "thinks" in quotes...

    
    
    Hank, at your age you had better stick to the bran bacon.
    
    
    
    hth,
    
    
    Mike

    
    	Atta boy, Jimbo!   Eat those cranberries, tons and tons of
    	cranberries.  I may someday be an heiress to a cranberry
    	"fortune".
    

    
    Eating vegetables is cruel.  At least cows can run.
    

    If animal rights fascists were a little more honest, they'd realize how
    chauvinistic it is to extend rights only to animals and not to
    vegetables. What makes a mole more worthy of rights than a carrot? A
    brain? Then a tsetse fly is as worthy of rights as a mole. No, no, no.
    They've got it all wrong. All species of life are equally deserving of
    rights, which is to say that they are afforded all of the rights that
    humans elect to give them. No more and no less. Just as we cut the lawn
    when it reaches a certain height, we kill a turkey to fill our bellies.
    And there is simply nothing wrong with this.

    
    	What a selfish attitude.  You should be ashamed of yourself.
    
    	But while you're at it, pass me another Dolphin McNugget.
    

    
    Everybody, share in la bounty!
    

<-----take it to the gak topic!

Soylent Green is Shawn.

    Actually wht she had to say about the way turkeys are bread and the
    problem with the legs is something I read on an AP feature before
    Thanksgiving.  There is much concern about the lack of genetic
    diversity in domestic  turkeys as There are less than 100 turkeys that
    make up the gene pool for almost all domestics, and they are raised by
    only 7 growers.  
    
    Won't stop me from eating them, but I still prefer the wild variety.
    
    meg

    
    	RE: turkeys are bread
    
    
    	Is that like "the door is ajar"?
    

    Mebbe she's referring to stuffing, in which case I'd offer a recipe for
    canadian pork stuffing (which is better than bread stuffing, anyway.)

    
    > canadian pork stuffing
    
    I feel vaguely ooh-erish.
    
    

    
    	Sounds like the featured event at the Ottawa X-Rated Olympic
    	Games.
    

    >I feel vaguely ooh-erish.
    
    I'll be the judge of that. ;>

    
    	I'd have to give the Doctah a point for that one.
    

    you're right, he does have a point there.

    If I overate, I think I'd be dead today....I still haven't eaten
    meat or poultry since.. it's been rice, pasta and veggies since...
    yes...I did want to die...actually at one point I thought I did. I 
    spent most of the am and the day in the emergency room
    getting pumped up with iv fluids until they could fine the little
    bugger that was killing me slowly...
    yak me till I puke! I'm having bad flash backs.......X-mas really
    wasn't fun, my SO's family set the plate of cut turkey infront of me
    and I had to excuse myself from the table...not a great dinner. 
    
    

    .183
    
    Bummer.  Aside from the cautions /john mentioned, I read an
    article that said lots of folks get food poisoning at Turkey
    time when they do not remove all of the stuffing from the bird
    initially and store it in a seperate container.
    
    I'm not sure why this causes food poisoning if the bird was
    cooked properly in the first place, but just thought I'd pass
    it on.
    
    One question though, were you the only person who ate that meal
    who got sick?  If that's the case, it probably wasn't the bird
    that did you in.  Typically, if there's a cause for food poisoning,
    everyone eating the meal would have been as sick as you were.
    
    

    that was bred, but spell checker miss proper words, and i don't use one
    anyway.
    
    I don't understand how someone who believes only nature's method of
    reproduction could eat a reproductive abomination like a turkey.
    
    meg

    Not necessarily.  Some folks are more tolerant than others.  We all
    know this because we participate here but, foodwise this applies as
    well.  Just like two people that visit Mexico, one may become violently
    ill and the other will go back for seconds eating and drinking the same
    things.  
    
    Brian

    turkeys were made to be eaten.

    Anything that dumb deserves to be subject to wholesale slaughter and
    mass consumption and burping.

    And that's all I have to say about that.

    wild turkeys ain't dumb.

    The only reason they have heads is to keep the blood from squirting
    out.

re: .192 
    		          (__)
                          (oo)
                   /-------\/ 
                  / |     || \ 
                 *  ||W---|| Hey HEY!  Let's not divert this topic to  
                    ~~    ~~ cows...I mean, who ever heard of a
    			     Thanksgiving cow? (and let's keep it that way)

    

    Cows are dumb too. Another species that deserves to be consumed in mass
    quantities with appropriately selected wines.
    
    8^q

    
    Stop it, Glenn, you're making me hungry!
    

    au contrare. wild turkey are as stupid as whales. why do you think they 
    were almost hunted into oblivion?
    
    ever been on a whale watch? how brave and daring those men from New
    Beford must've been sitting in the boats waiting for the mammal to
    pull up. talk about a romaticized piece of americana.

    >au contrare. wild turkey are as stupid as whales. why do you think they 
    >were almost hunted into oblivion?
    
     You, sir, know nothing about wild turkey. Wild turkey are very smart
    birds, unlike their domestic cousins. But don't believe me, start
    looking in some reference books. Your admission of error is optional.

    you, sir, are wrong. you do some reading. and while you're at it get
    your butt out in the woods, car or hike, and see how easy it is to
    get close. ever wonder where the term "bird brain" came from.
    
    now we may have a gap here in what we're describing as animal
    intellect. IMHO, stupid = poor fear/flight mechanism.

    Relative to other birds, turkeys are pretty smart. I've done plenty of
    reading, and there is widespread agreement on that point. And gobblers
    aren't too terribly easy to bag; they are considered to be more of a
    challenge than deer (and deer are no pushover.) And I spend quite a bit
    of time in the woods, and this is the first year I've come aross wild
    turkey. And they didn't stick around very long. They are quite wise to
    predators.
    
    Why don't you explain why Benjamin Franklin lobbied to have the wild
    turkey chosen over the bald eagle as the national symbol/bird. What
    were his reasons?

re: .214
    
		 -------|------|------------
                        ++    ++
                        ||---M||
                        ||     |
                       /\-------\
                      (00)       \
                      (  )        *
                    /
                Cows are actually very smart...we have merely lulled you
                into a false sense of security.  We will eventually take 
                over the world.
    

	Wild Turkey is smart? I have a friend who would strongly disagree....
the things it did to him......

    Wild Turkeys are smart...
    
    Back in Dec. 1995, first day of deer-hunting in Mass. I was coming down
    the mountain after a fruitless day chasing Bambi... about a 1/4 mile
    from the cabin, there stood a flock of about 20 turkeys... the suckers
    knew.... KNEW! that the season was over for hunting them...
    
     It was as if they were taunting me.... yes they were...
    
     I almost... almost... jacked in a couple of double-ought buck-shot
    shells to have at them....  almost....
    

    
    Wild turkeys developed the concept of cold fusion, but couldn't
    get it to work.
    
    Huh.
    

    But they are pretty to look at even after a fruitless day of hunting
    Bambi or his mom.  A couple of areas I hunt in have recovering
    populations of turkeys, it is wonderful to see a group of hens and
    chicks trotting down the road in front of you.  Also interesting to run
    into old petroglyphs in the MacIntyre hills.  They almost invariably
    will have a turkey track pecked out in one or more parts.  
    
    meg

    
    >But they are pretty to look at...
    
    Not when they're taunting you.....
    

    
    Sooooo...do turkeys often taunt you, Andy?
    
    (nobody make any sudden moves!)
    

    
    
    I fart in your direction!~!!!!!!!
    

    Back a few....
    
    I was the only one who ate the dark meat..I hate the white meat of a
    turkey, well, I hated the white meat of a turkey now I just hate the \
    whole damn thing. I was the only one who ate dark meat..it was a turkey 
    that I cooked, not one that I ate at someone elses house...guess why, 
    I don't like when other people cook my meat, so I ate only the fixings 
    at my brothers, and figured I'd eat our turkey later.....
    well, that'll never happen again..

    That's strange. Usualy problems come from undercooking, and the dark
    meat is less likely to be undercooked than the white meat...

    
    
    RE: .226  Well you're taunting him, Joan, so I would have to say yes to
    your query.

    
    What Mike is trying to say, very nicely might I add... is that you're a
    turkey... !joan
    
    
    :)
    

    
    
    Yup, that Andy K is one sharp feller, can't put one over on him,
    nosireebob......

    re: .231
    
     What would we do without you to translate? :-)

    
    
    Actually... what I was looking for was Mr. Drop Trou honoring me with:
    
    "Thanks, little buddy..."
    
    :)
    

    
    <gobble>
    

    re: .232
    
    Mike, now don't go dragging ME into this mess.
    
    Bob

    
    
    re: .236  I said bob, not boob.........

    re: .237
    
    Now you're going to drag the boob cake into it too?  Next thing you
    know, we'll have Brian's penis involved:-)
    
    Bob

    A Belgian Boob Cake?
    
    I find, generally, people over cook their turkey, and the white meat is
    dry dry dry. Don't cook it till it falls apart!

    
    	Don't cook it till it falls apart?
    
    	How do you get it to fall apart before you cook it?
    

    By cooking it a lot beforehand.

| <<< Note 24.228 by SCAMP::MINICHINO >>>


| I don't like when other people cook my meat, 

	EEK! 

    
    >By cooking it a lot beforehand.
    
    
    	This could be the start of a vicious circle.  I think my brain
    	is going to explode just thinking about it.
    

    Yeah, I thought I heard the sound of a cracking knuckle.

>                       A couple of areas I hunt in have recovering
>    populations of turkeys

You hunt in Digital?

    Reminds me of one cartoon I saw before thanksgiving.  The paranoid
    cooks thermometer had three settings:
    
    1.  Salmonella a good possiblity.
    
    2.  Overcooked and dry but still might be some bugs
    
    3.  Burned to a crisp you are probably safe

    <--- Yes! That explains it!

    .219 i'd like to ask him, unfortunately...

    Mark, regarding them not letting you get too close... this isn't a
    slam, but maybe something about you offended them :-).
    
    my experience has been (even on the sides of roads) is the exact
    opposite of yours.

    turkeys as challenging as deer. i don't know anyone who would agree
    with that off hand.

    Reply .173 is so far over the edge that it almost reads as a parody
    of political correctness.  In fact, I'm still undecided...
    
    re: poisoning
    
    We've found that we get sick much less often at these turkey-fests
    since we started cooking the stuffing separately.  Yeah, I know,
    it's nowhere near as good.  Oh well, such is the price.
    
    
    >> Why don't you explain why Benjamin Franklin lobbied to have the wild
    >> turkey chosen over the bald eagle as the national symbol/bird. What
    >> were his reasons?
    
    Because turkey tastes better than bald eagle?
    
    Chris