Conference 7.286::sports_91

 Good Luck T, you will be missed....

 Thanks for setting me straight on the Stomper and many other issues...

 mike

    I think you might dislocate your shoulder if you try that again without
    doing some warmup exercises first. 8^)
    
    Conan
    

    Let me guess!  This small software company struggled in the beginning,
    but it now has a leg up on the competition and it looks like it just
    might succeed.  Therefore, thousands of Minessotans are flocking to its
    doors hoping to get a piece of this action that they otherwise would
    have ignored.  (Some company from Pittsburgh will eventually knock it
    down to size.)
    
    But I digress, T.  As Dorothy said to the Scarecrow, "And you, I think
    I'll miss you the most all."
    
    sniff
    
    	--dan'l

    re .3
    
    This note dredges up memories a perhaps my darkest moment in here.
    Wide-eyed, innocent, and enthusiastic I decided to get involved with
    the NHL.  I knew it was a rough sport, but I had no idea what it cain
    be like for the poor neophyte hockey fan.
    
    What happened to me in the hockey notes last spring I'd rather not
    go into.  Suffice it to say that what was done to me there was not
    unlike wandering into a bad neighborhood and ending up trapped in a
    blind alley with several members of the crips each holding a cudgel
    and at least a couple a grudges...
    
    Poor MrT

Put me down as one who thinks MrT is bluffing, looking for some 
PeeWee-esque ego stroking from his "fans."

I can see MrT wishing he COULD leave, but like Richard Gere in "An Officer and
a Gentleman" said, "I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!"

I do remember my first encounter with MrT when he tried to convince us that
Kirby Puckett was a legit MVP candidate some years back.   T tried to enter
some real live statistics into the conference, but screwed up the data entry,
thus negating his premise.  I think that's when "dastisticks" popped up.
Ever since then, MrT has avoided statistics in favor of rhetoric.

Don't be suckered... it's gotta be a sham.   However, if it isn't, I wish
MrT would relate the story about Conan the Librarian again one more time.

    You wouln't be goin ta "Egghaid" wouldya?
    Naa, too apropos 8^)'s  
    

And they hit the beach under the withering fire of the Japanese guns.
These were no Supermen, these Marines, no, they were ordinary, everyday
men like you and I, some with peach fuzz still on their virgin cheeks were
no blade had ever touched.  Regular guys, dressed alike, indeed thinking
alike mostly, for they all abided by the code "Semper Fi".

Men they were, and in such times their training kicked in, and they looked
to their leader, Captain T, for inspiration, direction, and the will to move
forward.  "Get a move on," he would yell,  "do you want to live forever??"
Spurring them onward, always toward the goal of objective analytical
beach taking, and backing up their marksmanship with dastisticks(tm),
he dug deep into their mortal souls.

Up the beach they inched, Mount Suribachi above their heads, their objective.
Many were hit; bleeding men crying out as their life ran into the sand
under them.  "Corpsman Up!" the yells came and came.

But, first and foremost these men were Marines.  They would improvise,
overcome and adapt, and most of all they would survive.

As the sun rose above the horizon they were hitting the beach.  Hours
later as it dipped low over the horizon again, they were but scant
yards from the summit of Mount Suribachi.  Dispatching a patrol to
clear out the summit, Captain T leaned back against a rock, lit
up a Camel, and said to the young Marine next to him "See son, I told
you, nothing to it, no prob....".  His words were cut off as a Japanese
snipers bullet tore away his life....

Oh Captain, my Captain, our fearful trip is done...




I'll miss ya T.  It's been hilarious, it's been exciting, it's been
downright bodacious at times.  The debates just won't seem the same
with out your $1.25 words (even I had to grab my dictionary sometimes)
and your insightful debating techniques.


The quiet little world of OURGNG County will be lesser for your having
moved on, but greater still for having had your path weave this way....


A bientot,
Chainsaw

    re .7
    
    don't go all mushy on us, Frank.  Fer chrissakes, I'll be here teal
    next Friday I said.
    
    re .5
    
    Leave it to a SpoilerMaker to come in here flashing sushi knives
    for some quick shivs to Poor MrT's broad back.  I won that argument
    on Mike HellTeeth or whatever it is the clanker is called now and
    oh by the way have you seed Kirb's BA lately?  I think you're just
    sore cuz a the way that Snuffy clone Gene Shady choked up down 
    Habana way.  Sure hope Mene Gene bought some Monte Cristos while he
    was down there, cuz with Glenn Robinson Prop 48 and getting beat by
    the PRs that's the ONLY pleasure he'll have for a couple a years
    ha ha haa !!
    
    MrT

    'Saw, with T and Dan moving on, you can cancel that requisition for
    another hard drive for CAM ;^)

    
    These are sad times indeed, comrade-at-arms.  Who'll be left to stand 
    up and fight for honesty and integrity in the face of the now accepted 
    and steadily growing moral relativism that pervades the sports world 
    today?  
    
    (Ya slipped up bad on that hockey thing, bub, accepting it and its
    sordid playoff system as representative of "sport", but I'm willing to 
    accept that as a part a the temporary insanity that gripped the entire 
    region.  What's one honest mistake out of five years, right?)
    
    glenn
    
    

    RE: .0
    
    There's no conceit in T's family! ;-)
    
    Best of luck to ya!

>
>    re .7
>    
>    don't go all mushy on us, Frank.  Fer chrissakes, I'll be here teal
>    next Friday I said.
>    


Yeah, but I'm pretty busy these days between work, rugby and hitting
the gym, so I can't always be sure of having time to work up a_essay.

'Saw

       Good Luck T, if it's true.I'm sure ACCrook(tm) is heavin' a sigh o'
    relief! Looks like you'll never get answeres to the 'gang of 4'.
                  
                                    Denny

    >Looks like you'll never get answeres to the 'gang of 4'.
    
    Not necessarily, Denny.  This issue is what I'd like to concentrate
    on during the next week.  I plan to lay out the Final Four questions
    in a bulletproof and airtight formate and finally nail ACCrook and
    all his pathological Crockery to the wall!
    
    Watch 17.  (Although the only action over there right now is why
    Eric Montross has devolved into such a mediocrity.)
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom

       He's been awful quiet though T. It might be just your luck that he's
    on vacation or something. I hear Jim Bakker's back in court today in
    Charlotte.
                                         Denny

    Hey Mr. T(oody),
    
    There is one thang you should be aware of. Dan, prior to getting
    accepted to Columbia, was accepted to Michigan. He was all set to
    attend and become a Wolverine.
    
    Just FYI
    
    JoJ

    
    Mr. T,
    
    	Hasta la winnebago!  Good luck to you.  You have made me
    	laugh the hardest out of a conference full of comics (you
    	also made me throw my breakfast in the trash a couple of
    	times with your gross descriptions).
    
    	What's happening to our ::sports world?  It just ain't
    	gonna be the same.......
    
    Claybone

As the Wicked Witch of the West says:

	I'm melting....my world, my world....

    You mean to tell me that there will be no dia"T"ribes about why
    Pittsburgh shouldn't even have a baseball team, after the Bucs whip the
    Twinkies in the World Series this year??????
    
    You won't be here to tell me why Minnysoda is loaded with baseball
    youngsters while Pghers barely know how to lace up their spikes!!!
    
    Will wonders and miracles never cease??
    
    Good luck to ya, "T",
    
    Hasta Gezundheit
    
    JaKe
    

    
    >>                                   I'll be working with a small
    >>software company.                 
    
    If you massage it just right, it may become a large hardware company.
    
    (8^0
    
    JaKe
    

    MrT,
    
    Forgot to mention in me previous note,
    
    From one Irishman to another
    
    May the road rise up to meet ya,
    May the wind always be at your back
    And may you end up in a menage-a-trois
    with Amber Lynn and Barbara Dare in yo' sack
    
    MikeL
    
    PS. Maybe that Catholic hoosier, John MacLeod, cain steal a coupla
        games and recruits from Field Marshall Knight. 8^)  
    
    Good luck
    
    
    

    T, although our views on the Middle East differed I have always
    supported your Jihad against the forces of evil (a.k.a. Dean Smith
    and UNC).  Wish you all the best in your new adventures.
    
    John "D Cowboys" R.

    You can't do this!!!
    
    Who's going to bring news of the Big 10 to me?  (Believe it or not, I
    read and looked for it.)
    
    Who's going to stir the pot and get the good debates going?
    
    
    "D**n, D**n, D**n, D**n......I've grown accustomed to [your] face".
    
    A&W

I guess my favorite part was about the supporating sore soaking through
the suit jacket.  Damn near pissed myself on that one.....8^)

    T, best of luck in all your (ad)ventures.  
    
    The Trial was perhaps the highlight of the Sports Notes Era, and the
    image I have of a drunken prosecutor in a wheelchair with a blanket
    over his lap will always be with me.
    
    You're a genius with the English language and I've been continually
    entertained by your prose in this file.
    
    Having said that, cain I have all the CDs I've recommended to you?
    
    Mark.

    
    Well, I held off writing anything till I could be convinced that this
    was not a_innocent "college prank". (Say, has anyone checked with
    personell in that region.)
    
    Basically:  What Markie said.  Those Poe-ish, Barker-ish, King-ish
    notes in living color were superb.
    
    You are a ::SPORTS file legend, MrT, but I'm sure you already knew
    that.  I've had many a chuckle through the magic of your flying
    fingers.  Best wishes and good luck.
    
    -Moochie Matt
    

    First Dan.
    
    Then Jo*
    
    Now T.
    
    I havent' felt this sad since I saw Suzanne Somers naked.
    
    I havent' felt this low since I ran out of Lacquer right before the
    "Best of G.L.O.W" was to be aired.
    
    I haven't felt this betrayed since Vanessa Williams was stripped of her
    title (but not her acquisitions).
    
    I haven't felt this empty since the Pool ROom scene in Insatiable.
    
    I haven't felt this powerless since they stopped making Godzilla
    movies.
    
    JD

    
    Buena suerte, T!
    
    Keep cheering on those 'Stars!
    
    Cath

    The top ten REAL reasons why Mr T.  is leaving DEC.
    
    
    10.  Embarrassed about seeping all over his workstation.
    
    
    
    
    9.   Dastitical (tm) evidence proved to him that he was merely a
    Designated Geek in the world of sales.
    
    
    
    
    8.  John Thompson invited him to be a tutor at Gougetown Run D n C.
    
    
    
    7.  King Rice threatened to go out with his daughter unless he left ACC
    Crisp alone.
    
    
    
    
    6.  NASCAR needed a PR agent.
    
    
    
    
    5.  His knobby was all thrusty....
    
    
    
    
    
    4.  Is hand-delivering Matty the Moocher his jersey.
    
    
    
    
    3.  Is going to work on "Special Projects" for Rand McNally's new "Road
    Map of Mildewed Old Naval Ports"
    
    
    
    
    2.  Accepted a position in Artyn Senna's pit crew.  (Rumour heard it
    that he's in charge of brakes...)
    
    
    
    And the NUMERO UNO reason why MRT is leaving DEC:
    
    
    
    
    1.  Dean Smith Recruited Him to be morale director at Dean's Summer
    Camp for H.S. All-American Underachievers...

Good luck T! I am going to miss your exasperating replies, you certainly
had a way with words. Well at least we'll have more disk space now that your 
leaving! Boy, without you and Dan in the file a fite n we may only need
a tk70! 



Steve

               <<< SYS$SYSDEVICE:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SPORTS.NOTE;1 >>>
                 -< OURGNG::SPORTS - Digital's daily tabloid >-
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Note 3.1                 Official National League topic                  1 of 91
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Thanky Lawd for REAL baseball!"   2 lines  15-DEC-1989 14:45
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Note 4.5                 Official American League topic                 5 of 131
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "AL = ALmost baseball league"      2 lines  15-DEC-1989 14:50
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Note 4.6                 Official American League topic                 6 of 131
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "mlb = modified lineup baseball"   2 lines  15-DEC-1989 14:51
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Note 4.40                Official American League topic                40 of 131
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   29 lines  16-FEB-1990 10:04
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    Owner Carl Polhad will put the Twins up for sale.
    
    That's the rumor among the financial types in the Twin Cities.
    Apparently Polhad's bank is making inquiries and drawing up papers
    in preparation for putting the team on the block.
    
    Polhad, worth a self-made $800m, hates losing money on general
    principle.  He's convinced that cable television is fast turning
    the game into a big city/little city situation; and is privatley
    very disappointed at MLB's handling of Gorge SpendBlender's awesome
    cable deal.
    
    Other megadeals are in the works in other large markets (the current
    contracts must be completed first), and these typically will leave
    the big city teams with as much income from cable only as all revenues
    taken in by a team like the Twins.
    
    Polhad apparently sees the current bidding war as the start of this
    trend and, short of spending down his own fortune, the Twins can't
    compete for the top talent on a financial basis.
    
    That being the case, Carl's tired of being the butt of constant
    jokes and complaints about what a cheapskate he is.  
    
    He'll put the team up for around $80m but take maybe only $50m if
    he has to just to unload it before its value starts going down over
    the next couple of years as the forthcoming megadeals start coming
    on line and the bidding war becomes institutionalized.   (He paid,
    if memory serves, $30m for the Twins in 83 or 84.)

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Note 7.28                  Official College Hoop topic                 28 of 292
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from yesterday's paper"   19 lines  18-JAN-1990 11:13
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			BIG TEN'S NO. 1

The latest computer basketball ranking of the top conferences by Jeff 
Sagarin, whose information is used by the NCAA in assembling its 64-team 
tournament field:

1.  Big Ten 		85.80 points
2.  Big Eight 		85.28
3.  Atlantic Coast	84.42
4.  Big East		83.14
5.  Pacific-10		79.96
6.  Southeastern	79.90
7.  Big West		78.49
8.  Metro		78.37
9.  Western Athletic	77.47
10. Mid-American	76.15
11. Missouri Valley	75.39
12. American South	74.71
13. Mid-Continent	73.58
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Note 7.30                  Official College Hoop topic                 30 of 292
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 28 lines  19-JAN-1990 09:47
               -< Was Big East Dealt Death Blow By Big10 Move? >-
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		EAST COAST SCHOOLS ALL SHOOK UP

Penn State's admission to the Big Ten has set off a series of aftershocks
that could change the look of basketball on the East Coast.

Big East members Syracuse, Pittsburgh and Boston College are concerned 
about their future as football independents without Penn State.  Officials
from those three schools have had discussions with Miami, Florida State,
South Carolina, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Temple and Rutgers about
forming an all-sports league.  Boston College Athletic Director Bill Flynn
told reporters at last week's NCAA convention that his school was looking 
for a football-only conference, and was happy with its Big East basketball
affiliation.

But Syracuse AD Jack Crouthamel sounded less certain about the Big East's 
future.  "Syracuse has options to consider," he said.  "It will take the 
right mixutures of schools and the right impetus for this thing to work.
It may be that now is the right time to find that right mixture of schools."

Some believe that the right mixture for Syracuse might be with the Big Ten.
Rutgers and Pittsburgh have been mentioned most often as candidates to 
follow Penn State into the Big Ten, but Syracuse became the hot rumor at the
NCAA convention.

Syracuse seats 50,000 for football and 33,000 for basketball in the Carrier
Dome and is a research institution tha tapparently fits the academic require-
ments the Big Ten presidents are seeking.  What's more, it would increase the
Big Ten's drawing power in the New York City TV market.
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Note 7.36                  Official College Hoop topic                 36 of 292
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 25 lines  19-JAN-1990 12:16
                  -< StevenHawkingsAlbertEinsteinSteveFisher >-
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    They got jobbed, yeah.  Hell, the refs had Ayers playing third
    stringers by the end of the first half!  I don't know what it is
    about Michigan and the refs.  Indiana couldn't get a call (as
    noted repeatedly by Vitale) and they were at home!
    
    The book on Michigan is that they'll let that awesome front-line
    ride the backs of shorter opponents all day long, then they'll 
    do the quick whistle for standard postition-holding by the opponent.
    Riley could be fouled out of every game in 5 minutes for OTB alone.
             
    Overall Big10 refereeing is better now.  Notice how much younger
    the refs are?  I've seen one crew that has two young guys, look
    to be about 30, one white one black.  They don't get tired, and
    they seem consistent (Michigan excepted).
    
    I'll say this: Randy Ayers is hot, a refreshing change, and upgrade
    really, from Gary Williams.  And this young Jackson cain play. 
    Hoot, did I tell ya I played street ball against Jent?  He was All
    State in Joisey and was a neighbor of mine.  Seeing a guy like that
    on blacktop is startling.
    
    Now maybe people will stop jiving me for the Hoosiers losing to
    the Buckeyes at that snakepit St. John Arena.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 7.268                 Official College Hoop topic                268 of 292
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           15 lines  10-APR-1990 13:47
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    >not to mention a gender problem.
    
    Pu-leeze!  Gender is a word form; *sex* is a matter of the hairy
    things dangling between human (or rear) legs.  So, if OU had a 
    "gender problem" they apparently muffed some sex-related grammar
    issues in the student newspaper or sumpin, right?
    
    The feminists are ruining the English Language.  And they're 
    inconsistent about it, too.  For instance, did they accuse the OU
    Athletic Department of "genderism?"  No.  They said sexism.  
    
    They misuse the word "gender" as a way of denuding reality.k
    
    MrT
                            
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Note 7.269                 Official College Hoop topic                269 of 292
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           22 lines  10-APR-1990 13:56
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    Boy oh boy, ACCaught.  You count money like you score contests.  
    
    "Recycle jerseys?"  Haw haw hee hoo.  How 'bout the airplane
    charters?  Or the forfeited tuition?  Or the free room and board?
    Or the recruiting expenses?  Or the salary and benefits for the
    coaches and trainers?  Or the facility expenses?
    
    This law suit is spurious, except for the part where it'll attempt
    to (understandably) attempt exploiting the false premise that college
    sports are for participants.  They're not.  They're for Athletic
    Departments and state pride and alumni bragging rights.  The money
    involved is only the medium.
    
    That being so, the OU women hoopsters are suing the college for their
    own failure and, presumably, for the broader failure of women's college
    basketball and what a bore it is and how unmarketable it is.  Without
    political pressure from the anti-genderists [sic] even programming-hungry  
    ESPN would drop the women's tourney like a brick in favor of more popular
    programming - such as, for instance, Corey Everson's "Body Shaping" (one
    of MrT's personal favorites).
    
    MrT
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Note 7.271                 Official College Hoop topic                271 of 292
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            11 lines  11-APR-1990 08:06
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    That's good news.  At least the lawyers won't be able to pervert
    our nation's values in this matter.  I hope OU wasn't forced to
    reinstitute the women's program, though.  If it deserved to be 
    dumped on its merits then it should stay in the dump.
    
    Good story while it lasted, though.  ACConfessed, you broke me up
    big-time when you claimed that a women's hoop squad would have 
    trouble running expenses past a quarter million.  What a great sense
    of humor you have!
    
    MrT                                                  
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Note 7.274                 Official College Hoop topic                274 of 292
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            34 lines  11-APR-1990 12:04
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    >Car to clarify this DoubleSpeak, or would you rather (in true
    >Orwellian and MrT fashion) just claim it has Truth [sic]
    
    No, as is my habit I'd care to deal with facks as they really exist:
    
    >First you say it's good newes that OU's reinstating women's hoops
    
    No, Bob Hunt acolyte, I ain't never said that.  I said it was good that
    they dropped their spurious lawsuit.  So, in a word, we cain explain 
    your dumbfoundedness on the automatic urge to misquote.
    
    >Call me simple-minded
    
    Simple-minded [sic].
    
    >Knock off the ACConfessed stuff will ya, unless you're referencing [sic]
    >... (that the) impartial jury... conclud(ed) I ran a totally honest...
    >contest.
    
    You confessed on the stand that you ran a secret contest-within-a-contest
    cuz you felt a wierd craving to have a "clone" get at least one ticket,
    and thus admitted in open court that you abrogated your own published rules
    and sought to defraud the contestants by first halving the prize and then
    applying secret selection criteria.
    
    Then the Jury, in response to your threats to quit noting if a just
    verdict were handed down as well as to my appeal that you be spared too
    tough punishment given your confession to the crimes with which you were
    charged, delivered a gag verdict that the devil made you do it and called
    for a_excorcism, a fair punishment for your confessed crimes that was
    never carried out cuz the moderators suddenly "decided" to write-lock
    the charade before its just and final conclusion.
    
    MrT
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Note 7.277                 Official College Hoop topic                277 of 292
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            14 lines  11-APR-1990 13:14
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    >A Contest was held, A Winner declared , a Trial took place, and 
    >I was found Innocent.
    
    Let's flop a_overlay of Truth onto this in order to avoid any
    confusion:
    
    A Contest was announced, it turned into a sham, the sham was exposed
    using established documentary evidence in a Trial that took place,
    you confessed that you abrogated the rules and defrauded the partipants,
    and you were declared Innocent By Reason Of Insanity.
    
    See how beautiful complete accuracy compares to simple-minded [sic] PR?
    
    MrT

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Note 11.1           The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note            1 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   2 lines  15-DEC-1989 14:57
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Note 11.20          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           20 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "89-90 UNC: GreatTalentPoorCoach" 2 lines  21-DEC-1989 13:44
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Note 11.24          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           24 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "No hypocrisy, Cyst, NONE. ZERO." 2 lines  22-DEC-1989 09:32
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Note 11.25          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           25 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "re .22, read the scouting rpts."   2 lines  27-DEC-1989 09:12
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Note 11.29          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           29 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "No talent or no COACHING talent" 4 lines  28-DEC-1989 10:01
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Madden and Fox .. have .. talent but are ridden heavily by Dean.... Scott 
Williams has peaked and is going down hill, a tradition at Chapel Hill...
real talent .. is George Lynch, who will go hardship as soon as he figures 
out the Dean system... and Kenny Harris .. but Dean doesn't play him....
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Note 11.32          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           32 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "TTom's words. Not this ghost's." 2 lines  28-DEC-1989 10:31
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Note 11.36          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           36 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Your Big10 season predictions?"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 09:14
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Note 11.37          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           37 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "IL,IU,MI,MN,PU,UI,NU,MSU,OSU,UW"   2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:28
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Note 11.44          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           44 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "You.. you.. RAT, /Don!! [frosh]"  2 lines   5-JAN-1990 13:56
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Note 11.47          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           47 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Gill frustrated by hand checks"   2 lines   8-JAN-1990 11:33
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Note 11.59          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           59 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "UM coaching tradition lives on"  2 lines  10-JAN-1990 13:07
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Note 11.60          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           60 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "centerless 3 guard team, still"  2 lines  10-JAN-1990 13:11
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Note 11.68          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           68 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from today's USA Today:"    4 lines  11-JAN-1990 14:13
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    Indiana basketball player Lawrence Funderburke, a 6-8 freshaman
    who quit the team last month, told the Indiana Daily Student he
    had no conflict with coach Bob Knight and left because he felt 
    restrained by Indiana's disciplined offense.
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Note 11.77          The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note           77 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    11 lines  12-JAN-1990 11:19
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    		Purdue 86, No. 15 Minnesota 78
    
    Tony Jones scored 15 points, leading six Purdue players in double
    figures, as the host Boilermakers ended the Golden Gophers' 10-game
    winning streak.  The Boilermakers (10-2, 2-0) led by as many as
    17 points in the second half, but Minnesota (10-2, 1-1) rallied
    to cut it to 80-75 when Jim Shikenjanski hit a 10-footer with 2:08
    remaining.  But Ryan Berning made six freee throws in the final
    1:11 to seal the victory.  Chuckie White gave Purdue the lead for
    good at 17-14 on a 3-point play with 13:51 remaining in the first
    half.
================================================================================
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "That's 'whom,' nimrod. WHOM."      2 lines  12-JAN-1990 11:49
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "LuciferDevilSatanBeelzebub.. /Don" 2 lines  12-JAN-1990 14:18
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from yesterday's paper"   19 lines  18-JAN-1990 10:42
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			BIG TEN'S NO. 1

The latest computer basketball ranking of the top conferences by Jeff 
Sagarin, whose information is used by the NCAA in assembling its 64-team 
tournament field:

1.  Big Ten 		85.80 points
2.  Big Eight 		85.28
3.  Atlantic Coast	84.42
4.  Big East		83.14
5.  Pacific-10		79.96
6.  Southeastern	79.90
7.  Big West		78.49
8.  Metro		78.37
9.  Western Athletic	77.47
10. Mid-American	76.15
11. Missouri Valley	75.39
12. American South	74.71
13. Mid-Continent	73.58
================================================================================
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 16 lines  22-JAN-1990 15:50
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    Mean Gene keeps this up and he'll make my personal name.
    
    Right now it's Keady vs. Ayers for Big10 89-90 CoTY.  Ayers' team
    is inspired, and that Jackson kid is maybe the league's best player.
    
    Cain't wait to see Stephen Scheffler in the paint.  He's got more
    refined each year, and he should be a site [pun intended] go see
    this year. 
    
    Michigan has by far the most talent this year (Illini are scant
    along the front-line) but they have the dumbest coach east of Tempe
    so it's wide open.  MSU will fade  as the schedule catches up on
    them; Northwestern will upset a few with Lambiotte; Minnesota -
    if if IF they cain win on the road - could be the best of the lot.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10, Conference of all-time"   21 lines  23-JAN-1990 11:30
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    Credit Clem Haskins, he was on local radio this morning and didn't
    make any excuses about the blown non-call with the travelling by
    Danny Jones with a few seconds left.  He said Newbern freaked out
    and cut loose way too early.  What he left unsaid is that the possibly
    overrated but very talented "star" Willie Burton tends to disappear,
    especially without the inspiration of the home crowd (Williams Arena
    is an old barn and is one of the loudest places in existence.  Great
    place).
    
    Haskins also admitted that the Wisconsin guards made his big guards
    look bad defensively, blowing by Lynch and Newburn at will, something
    I never thought I'd see.
    
    How 'bout Tompskins and Danny, are these guys widebody studs or
    what.  That's why Coffey fouled out like he did.  
    
    I don't remember the Big10 ever being so open.  As I've said, Michigan
    has awesome talent, but they have Steve Fisher and a lotta bad habits
    to boot.  The Title should go down to the last weekend.
    
    Big10 Tom
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   21 lines  24-JAN-1990 12:17
                       -< Bob and MrT... together again >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Big news !!
    
    Looks like I'll be meeting Bob at the Wisconsin game in Mad City
    on March 3, at halftime.  
    
    See, a college buddy of mine who also lives in Minneapolis works
    for a media group that owns most of Mad City's radio and televion
    outlets.  So, he's put together a deal where we're taking the corporate
    jet over to Mad City (with some customers so's [sic] it's legit)
    and then a limo into the fieldhouse.  From there we nestle our Hoosier
    derrieres into Badger coach Yoder's seats right there at halfcourt!
     
    Well, my buddy saw he had a good thing going so's he just kept turning
    up the heat on the guy who runs their Mad City operation (which , btw
    orginates all Badger football & basketball on radio and TV).  So's
    Mr. GM there calls up Yoder and sez he has a couple of Hoosier alums
    coming in as very special guests, Bob boys, and axes coach Yoder
    to speak to Bob about shaking hands at halftime and Yoder calls
    Bob and Bob sez "yeah sure, why not."  
    
    Big10 Tom
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   36 lines  24-JAN-1990 15:12
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    >T's copyin' me again...
       
    You should even TALK such trash, ACC Crisp!  Remember, you had all
    your worldly belongings strapped to your vehicle Jed Clampett-style
    as you migrated worker-style; then you dragged your poor family
    into the Idolatry Dome for the cheap pleasure of tingling gooseflesh
    and creeping around an empty building interpreting the echoes of
    your own heavy breathing as a mysterious song of the angels.  Then
    you find yourself mooning around His office, lurking, loitering
    amidst the emptiness, and finally even rifling through other people's
    mail.  The denouement to the whole sad scene coming, as we found,
    with you cravenly begging a secretary (in full frontal view of your
    family, no less!) for a_audience with the good Reverend himself. So
    the poor guy drags himself out thinking "maybe he's got dough, cain't
    be too careful got this building to pay for" and He takes one look,
    sez "hey," and tucks back into His office.
    
    In a phrase, you behaved like a low class pilgrim on the budget plan.
    
    Me, corporate jets, limos, opposing coach's personal comp tickets,
    and... a private audience between round personally arranged by his
    adversary no less.  
    
    re: Rieu & Rochibaud
    
    Funny, guys.  The excretia jokes are real funny.  But you have me
    wrong.  You know I don't grovel and Bob'll be no exception.  In
    fack, with the way Keady's coming on lately I might just express
    some alumnus disappointment about those Farm Implements from West
    Lafayette doing what they did in our house.  
    
    No, It'll be man-to-man with MrT and Bob, and we wouldn't have it
    any other way.  I might even slip him some print-outs to show him
    that we're mobilized out here, that we're doing the good work. 
    
    Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  66 lines  25-JAN-1990 12:02
                    -< start talking SENSE, peanut gallery >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, this year's Hoosiers *are* overrated.  Not for much longer, though,
for the cracks are starting to show.  This is a squad with little in the
way of a front-line.  Again.  After reading the scouting reports I had high
hopes but was disappointed the minute I saw them on the screen during the
Michigan game.  No size.  No widebodies.  Lotsa skills, and good quickness,
but they're gonna take their lumps on the inside, with trouble getting
the ball in and getting off an unforced shot when they do.    

At 12th they're overrated, primarily based on three things: 1) the startling
win over Michigan, 2) the fact that their nonconference schedule was
down this year cuz of a confluence of factors (they played one of the toughest
overall schedules last year) and, 3) they climbed the polls with Funderburke,
who's now gone.

The Michigan win had more to do with their bad coaching than the inherent
level of talent on the young Hoosiers.  How does a front-line that's one of
the most, if no the most, talented in the country foul out 2 of 3 starters
and see everybody in foul trouble going up against a 6-3 guard at forward
and a shooting forward at center augmented by a good quick small forward
in Calbert Cheaney?  Bad habits and bad coaching.  The first half of that
game said more about talent than the second.

The teams's not only young, they're missing some pieces.  Mainly 6-3 to
6-5 narrowbody clones who're very talented and young, but limited in
the roles they cain play.    

One other thing: What counts in my book is what a team ends up achieving
at the season's end; both in terms of conference standings and the tourney.
I notice Bob is churining his lineup still.  He's always done this, always
played the players who produced most in the last game, last practice, or
even the last half.  As these youngsters come to master his system he'll
stabilize playing time to some degree, and they'll come out a better, even
dangerous, team for it.

This method hurts on the career winning percentage, but his record in the
Big10 and NCAAs speaks for itself.  

My major hope is that Chris Lawson can emerge.  They need somebody tall
who cain rebound, post, and defend inside.  Also this would let Anderson
score more, thus relieving the offenseive problems that are causing these
losses.  If they get Anderson back out on the baseline that in turn lets
Calbert Cheaney do *his* thing, which is driving and slahing for lay-ups
and short Js.  

Also, if they have the players in their natural roles it becomes much 
easier for them to master the disciplined decision making on shot selection,
defensive help collapse, when to fast break or pull up, etc. that Bob demands.
Right now it's tough on everybody - especially on the front-line.
                                               
The book's already out that this team is vulnerable to zone defenses,
which cuts off the guards' and Cheany's opportunity to drive to the
hoop.  Last night they went up against one of the better zones around,
and it showed.  As they become less tentative offensively they'll solve
zones and begin chewing them up.  It's old hat that you cain beat Bob
using zones when he's still working the learning curve; after that his
teams if anything become more comfortable playing against them.                
    
Have your fun now, boys.  This team will be scaring people by season's end,
they might even progress fast enough under Bob's tutelage to earn their way
back to 12th and deserving it.  

As one of the yongest teams in the country running a 3 guard lineup their
goal should be to compete for the Big10 Title and make the tournament, and
they could accomplish that.

Big10 Tom   
================================================================================
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  27 lines  25-JAN-1990 13:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >When they win it's the coaching.  When they lose it's the talent.
                                      
    Well put.  Nary a trace of contradiction or intellectual dishonesty
    in your statement, ACC Crisp.  And despite the accusation in Baby
    Doc's .142 (that I'm poormouthing), facks are facks and the simple
    verifiable fack is that he's playing a forward at center (check
    the books, Eric played foward all last year) and a lithe 6-3 frosh
    at forward.  
    
    Funny to hear *you* making such a_accusation, Crispy.  After all,
    I saw the Star Heels on TV the other day (how cain I miss 'em?,
    they're on national TV almost constantly) and I didn't see any little
    guys playing forward.  In fact, 'Snuffy always not only has the
    aircraft carriers up front, he has them in waiting on the bench,
    too.
    
    The bottom line is the bottom line.  I ain't making any excuses.
    He's trying to mould a very young team into the most difficult thing
    of all: a successful 3-guard system.  As they master their passing
    patterns and shot selection their confidence will grow, they'll
    solves the zones, and they'll be off to the races.
    
    And, much as you hate to hear it, the bottom line is the very last
    line, the one with where Titles are tallied [30/1, 18/3] and that's
    what counts, studs or no studs.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.148         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          148 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                   38 lines  25-JAN-1990 13:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You've been reading to many of those buy-a-lies over in 110, ACC
    Crisp:
    
    >>... Hoosiers *are* overrated...
    
    >Why not just fess up to the fact that you... got yer butts kicked
    >last night.
    
    That they got beat up isn't open to question, so why do you come
    on nipples erect breathlessly insinuating that I've said such a
    thing?  Quote me if you cain [you cain't].
    
    Let me turn the tables: Why not just admit that last year's Big10
    champs were extremely unusual in their physical shortcomings, why
    not accept the patent fact that *this* year's edition is woefully
    lacking in size?  Why not axe your stupid question of, say, Baby
    Doc, who said of the Michigan game "it was more Michigan losing
    the game than IU winning it."
    
    If you couldn't give the credit then, don't try to balance it against
    a debit now.
    
    They're a very young undersized team with peole out of position
    but good quickness and shooting.  They'll continue to have trouble
    against the big tough teams and their zones (State, Purdue, et al)
    but will have shots at smaller quicker squads like Minnesota, Wisconsin
    and Illinois.
    
    Face it: When they win it's a team playing older than its age and
    adding up to something greater than its parts; when they lose it's
    a not unexpected product of those same conditions.  For you to deny
    coach Bob's hand in the former and overstate his culpability in the
    latter is a schneid approach, if I might say.
             
    This team barely beat U. Kaintuck and Northwestern.  I'm just hoping
    they improve and make the tourney.
    
    Big10 Tom                         
================================================================================
Note 11.152         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          152 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  39 lines  25-JAN-1990 15:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >hah!!!
    
    Let's not lose our perspective here, Crisp.  *I'm* the one sitting
    on five Titles, *you* are the one who's lived the frustration of
    seeing more talent than a crooked beauty contest go down the flusher
    with that wretched excuse for a coach.  
    
    So if we're talking about missed opportunities caused by a coach's
    shortcomings, YOU are the one with explaining to do.  Your definition
    of coaching as recruiting is an stinky oily little turd disproven
    by the protracted failure of 'Snuffy.  Hell, they're about 30 top
    programs in the country so it cain be reasonably argued that 'Snuff's
    *one* Title is the product of random incidence, an argument much
    enhanced by the fack that after 'Snuffy managed to coach his way
    to yet another Final Four loss the other team's ballhandler tossed
    the ball to a Star Heel to seal the "win!"
    
    Bob, among active coaches, is tops.  He's tops in his conference.
    His talent woes needn't be explained according to this factual context.
    
    re: Baby Doc
    
    People where you work probably think you're coming down with multilple
    sclerosis the way you twist and gyrate and twitch all the time.
    They probably think you're working real hard on a coding problem
    when in fack you're simply trying to cook up bald-faced misrepresentations. 
                                                           
    I never praised the recruiting class.  I typed in all the praise
    heaped on them by the scouts yet find myself staring at yet another
    centerless 3-guard lineup. 
    
    Whatever its source, it takes intellectual dishonesty of the worst
    possible kind to argue, as you do, that height and bulk aren't factors
    in big-time college hoop front-line play.
    
    Shame on you Baby Doc.  You switch fantasy for fack almost as deftly as
    you switch losers for bandwagon rides.
    
    Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                     6 lines  26-JAN-1990 12:19
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    Who knows about Purdue?  Will we ever know?  They're never on TV.
    The Atlantic Close and Big Least are on national twice as much as
    the Big10, so Keady will have to not choke this tourney in order
    to gain the recognition he probably deserves.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    34 lines  26-JAN-1990 12:53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Sensitive?
    
    Only to the Truth, speaking for myself.  And the FACK remains,
    all the fish bait from our Master Baiters aside, that the tape
    measure and scale don't lie and Bob is starting a 6-3 180 guy
    at forward; and the record book don't lie and he's got a forward
    at center.  
    
    Now, it can be reasonably argued that Bob's responsible for his
    roster, but I'm more interested in seeing players grow into greatness
    than watching a parade of superstar talent.  I'd welcome the talent,
    certainly, but the nut for me is in the moulding and growing.
    
    Also, remember that Bob really wante Deon Thomas and went for 
    Funderburke as a fall back.  Wonder why Thomas didn't sign with
    Indiana (his second choice)?       
    
    Cap, I don't agree that 'Snuffy is the best recruiter right now.
    He dominated that department after Wooden retired, but he's been
    displaced by Stompshim the last five years.  Big guys are the 
    hardest to get by far, and Stomper uses his, er, "special" inducements
    to get blue chips as backups at center and power forward.  (Yes,
    I'm aware that 'Snuffy signed the top three NYC recruits recently.)
             
    Also, I don't criticize Bob in the least for employing negative
    conditioning techniques such as upbraiding and practice ejections.
    That's a matter of technique, not character.  Sure, we get bleeding
    heart liberals disguised as progressives in here like Dan talking
    about "mental abuse," but the kids learn more under him than anyone
    else and teaching is what it's all about.  There are certain areas
    where he's open to valid criticism, but they're almost never mentioned
    in here, which ain't all bad actually...
    
    Big10 Tom                               
================================================================================
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1789,1848,1872,1917,1989"    58 lines  26-JAN-1990 13:48
                              -< Big10 Overview >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Lying through yer teeth.
    
    I think not.  Last year Sportscenter ran a graphic showing the total
    number of national broadcast appearances by conference.  They pointed
    out that the Big Least was on TWICE as much as the Big10, the Atlantic
    Close just under twice as much.
    
    Perhaps they've remedied that this year, dunno.  But let's not count
    just ESPN.  The networks count, too.  Anyway, I just mentined that
    cuz ACC Crisp axed me why Bob don't recruit as well as you-know-whom
    and he needed to be reminded that his Babyish Blue are on national
    17 or 18 times a week and that's a factor now ain't it.
    
    On the Big10, Spud get yer eyes checked.  Jepsen was possibly the
    best player on the floor last night!  It's not *his* fault that
    he's stuck with a coach who concedes game with that counterproductive
    trap defense.  Also, Indiana was NOT a preseason fave.  UM, IL,
    MN and even MSU were given as much or more play.
    
    Purdue is on a roll, and the question now is who will pull up and
    contend against them:  
    
    Michigan is coming apart.  Rumeal-the-future-CEO went off the deep end 
    after their latest inexcusable loss on officiating and was censured by 
    the Big10 office today, and anyway they're "coached," if you will, by
    a Bill Fritter protege and many of their players seem to be more
    interested in what the NBA scouts see than the team.
    
    The Illini, like the Hoosiers, are hurting on the front-line.  Although
    they have some big people, unless you believe Baby Doc's preposterous
    theory that size isn't a factor in college baseline activities, that's 
    the reason the Illini look very mortal this year.  Marcus Liberty
    is showing a lot of progress not to mention heart but nobody else
    is home up front.  Lou HitSome is also badly underutilizing Gill
    and Bardo with his laissez-faire offensive "scheme."
       
    Minnesota is nearly unbeatable at home, but like all Minnesota sports
    programs seem to lose interest or get scared on the road.  Willie
    Burton's promise seems to be slipping, they've got a fine pair of
    big guards and a good coach, but the baseline talent is mediocre
    except for Willie, who is hot and cold, with the cold part sometimes
    going for both halves on the road.
    
    MSU, OSU, and IU are roughly clones, with IU maybe the worst of
    the lot cuz of the combo of youth AND lack of size.  MSU's Judd
    is cashing in on his great recruiting class of two years ago. IU
    should rebound cuz they've already gotten the top 3 teams plus Jimmy
    Jackson (read: OSU) out of the way going to the 9th hole, and they're
    gradually assimilating Bob's system.  But I don't shortchange Judd
    or Ayers, both fine coaches who's teams should progress during the year
    (unlike, say, a BayWhine or 'Snuffy).
    
    Iowa, Northwestern, and Wisconsin all have some tip-top players
    but lack depth and consistency.  The fack that any of these three
    are potential giant killers on any given night really works in Purdue's
    favor at this juncture.
                           
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1789,1848,1872,1917,1989"    28 lines  26-JAN-1990 14:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Indeed Keady's biggest worry may be Heathcoate, cuz *his* team is
    young, talented, big, and will improve as the season progresses.
    The Illini's lineup is shot full of holes, though I will admit that
    HitSome had them hustling like there was no tomorrow last night.
    Michigan has talent on the perenniel Gougetown/SyrExcuse level
    (i.e., awesome), but it really looks like they're gonna flub and
    flick and flounder just enough to finish a game behind the Boils.
    
    Now, all this presumes the Boils keep up the good work, but let
    us not forget that last year was an aberration for Keady, and it
    was a team with some talent but a few big holes and if they weren't
    clicking then they certainly are now.  Keady knows about winning
    Big10 Titles, they are the odds-on favorite after prevailing in
    St. John Arena (a snakepit) last night.
    
    >networks only giving the majority what they want
     
    No, they're only treating themselves to a demographic feast is what
    it is.  This is why the Big10 stole Penn State out from under the
    ACC's nose.  This is also why Delany is negotiating with Syracuse
    and Pitt to defect from the Big Least.  We get the New York
    demographics applied to our scheduling profile and we get on TV
    a whole lot more.
    
    I'll be at Williams Sunday, in my red-on-white hooded INDIANA
    sweatshirt.  Wave at yer TV set and I'll wave back I swear.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1789,1848,1872,1917,1989"     9 lines  26-JAN-1990 15:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey TTom, still smarting from the way Frank McGuire stiffed the
    ACC and went solo?  Facks are facks and the fack is that all the
    other conferences are running around to meetings and talking to
    independents about joining up and the Big10 got one plum and is
    talking directly to the Prez of another, BayWhine notwithstanding.
    
    Ha.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 52 lines  29-JAN-1990 08:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What we saw yesterday was no big surprise.  Team of seniors, and good ones,
going up against a frosh dominated squad.  You woulda thought the Hoosiers 
were ranked #1 yesterday with the big buildup.  Biggest crowd of the year,
rabid fans, and the Gophs were more intense than any basketball team I've
ever seen in my life.  They scored their 108 cuz of the unbelievable defense.

Williams Arena is *the* toughest stop in the Big10 this year, one of the
toughest in the nation.  But this team goes pussy cat on the road.  Yesterday,
however, we saw 3rd string guards popping treys and other inspired performances.
Minnesota (the state) knew that this was the year to finally get Indiana and
they weren't gonna muff it.  They also knew that the Super Bowl Sunday national
TV appearance was a very big thing.

Yesterday's defensive pressure was awesome.  That combined with a team still
learning Bob's offensive system made them look worse than they are.  They 
hadn't been to a Williams before, or played a group of seniors fired up out
of their minds.  The young Hoosiers were dazed at first - standing around 
watching the passer, tentative shots, stupid fouls, getting bothered by the
inconsistent officiating - but gradually came around some.
 
The game was the best possible lesson they could ever get.  That they didn't 
fold (played them even the last two thirds of the game is a positive sign.  
Under many coaches a shellacking like this could shake a team, Bob will put
it to good use in practice and build confidence.

Williams may be the best basketball venue in the country.  Need I say that 
they're planning to replace it?

Bob is unique among all coaches in his willingness to churn his bench, during
games, between games, and over the schedule, the five guys who execute play.
But after the State and Purdue debacles he realized this squad has no real
shot at the Big10 Title and changed his development program accordingly, 
dropping the 3-guard lineup and inserting Lawson and Nover.  These two will
never be stars with their talent level, but each could grow into solid Bob-
style role players and contribute big.  Lawson is a banger and Nover a better
athlete than hoops player.  It's smart to get Anderson back to his natural
position, and tiny Gregg Graham off the front line.  Gregg's a much better 
player than Lawson or Nover, but he'll have to content himself in the depth
chart with Reynolds, Meeks, and Pat Graham.

Once this squad begins to master Bob's system I look for them to start running
the floor (Bob never lets a squad run until they've nutted the half-court game.)
They also need somebody besides Anderson to take over offensively.  Chaney's
coming on, but Pat Graham or Reynolds need to get more agressively.

As I said in here weeks ago, their goals are to learn the sytem and make the 
tournament.  The latter is gonna be tough, with five more losses projected
they end up at 9-9 in the conference and a throw-in possibility only.  To
avoid this they'll need a BIG road victory against one of the toughies.  With
Anderson back at his natural position...

Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  61 lines  29-JAN-1990 13:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >IU down by THIRTY?
    
    If I'm not mistaken the final score is the big deal in all sports,
    college basketball included.
    
    >Bob's had plenty of time to get all those studs in sync.  PLENTY
    >of time.
                                                                          
    Facks never get in your way, do they ACC Crisp?  Yesterday's lineup
    is brand new and three players saw their first extended action.
    
    After the State and Purdue debacles, where they were completely
    dominated up front, and the Hoosiers were for all intents and purposes
    eliminated from Big10 contention, Bob completely revamped his lineup
    for this game, playing Lawson and Nover instead of the six best
    players as of right now.  A good long-term move, for it lets these
    two youngsters take their lumps and learn and begin building technique
    and confidence.  As I said last week, if it's the margin of defeat
    that's of concern, the 3-guard lineup would've played the smallish
    Gophers clsoer cuz it woulda handled their defensive quickness better.
                                                                   
    >Coming off what most experts labeled the #1 recruiting class in
    >the USA??
    
    The Hoosiers class was upgraded from 4th or 5th to #1 after Funderburke
    commited.  He didn't play yesterday.
    
    >Sorry, but a loss is one thing.  Getting completely blown out is
    >another.
    
    Your Star Heels would be fortunate to come within 20 of the Gophers
    at Williams.  Besides, what you're seeing here is Bob teaching his
    boys the system.  He's coaching for the long term at the expense
    of playing a lineup and game schemes more optimal for the short-term.
    They coulda dropped the motion passing offense and handled their
    trapping pass much better with dribbling.  But then they wouldn't
    progress and they'd end up being just another half-polished blacktop
    hoops outfit like we see from certain other big-time coaches.
    
    No, instead Bob is looking to bring the whole team's level of play
    up, concentrating on roles and skills and depth.  If they make the
    tourney they could be dangerous.  If they played to look good right
    now, they might still make the tourney but they wouldn't be dangerous.
    
    Your "plenty of time" assumes 'Snuff-style coaching, where after
    half a season of the same lineup the teaching's pretty much over
    for good.  Not with Bob, his teams always progress through a season
    because of his methods.  How many times have you seen 'Snuffy's
    squads come on like gangbusters and then stutter later on?
    
    >this loss was a GOOD loss.
    
    There's no such thing as a good loss, especially with Michael Jordans
    and Brad Daughertys.  But that's why they keep score among the greats
    in terms of national championships.  Yesterday's blowout wasn't
    anything new, Bob coaches his own way and it's unique.  But while
    you clowns talk about margins of losing Bob looks over the long-term,
    an approach he knows works, which is why he's won 3 where everybody
    else except Crum is stuck at 1.
    
    Big10 Tom
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    39 lines  30-JAN-1990 09:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .196
    
    If making midseason "major adjustments" is a sign of poor coaching
    then Bob must be stripped of all those national and Big10 titles
    now.  He's always done this, even with mature teams.  Who cain forget
    Landon Turner breaking back into the lineup after 3 weeks in the
    doghouse, a move that resulted in the Hoosiers cutting a record-setting
    swath through the NCAAs.  Bob went with the small lineup hoping
    to compete for the Big10 Title.  Why not, he won it last year with
    a grad student stiff out of position at center and a grad student
    6-2 former substitute guard starting at forward.  So it was possible.
    
    The Michigan win may've set this team back with the false promise
    it brought.  I'm glad to see Lawson/Nover/Pat Graham getting some
    PT, they looked awful yesterday but they'll improve.  Lawson or
    Nover aren't blue chippers, but they cain become good role players.
    Graham's a great shot, although you wouldn't have known it Sunday
    with his missed layups and airballs.
    
    re .197
    
    Who you kiddin', Charles?  The Boilers are a veteran team with the
    best center in the league (something I said last year when I predicted
    Scheffler would make the NBA).  True, last lyear Jones and Cliburn
    were very spotty, but talented.  In some ways what Keady went through 
    last year is what Bob's going through this year.  
    
    I cain't believe how upside down the rankings are.  If you're
    estimating where a team'll be at the season's end, then yes maybe
    the Hoosiers are 23rd.  Right now?, a team that won the conference
    last year with a hot shooting guard, a quality frosh forward, and
    a bunch of role players types who're gone now; augmented by a fine
    recruiting class that, as a former Gopher center friend of mine
    said Sunday, "look like a bunch of high school guards" now that
    ThunderBurp has followed his girlfriend to Lexington.
    
    How State cain possibly be ranked below the Hoosiers is beyond me.
    
    Big10 Tom
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   18 lines   1-FEB-1990 10:43
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    Congradulations to the Boilermakers on winning the Big10 hoops Title.
    
    This team is running like a well-oiled machine, shooting for a very
    high percentage, lotsa assists, and few fouls.  Now that OSU and
    the Hoosiers are fading, Keady is a lock for CoTY (Judd notwithstanding).
    My only hope is that this time, in keeping with a fine engineering
    school like Purdue, they're built to last and won't go choke-a-roo
    in the NCAAs.  They should get at least the #2 seed in the Mideast
    Regional, so here's hoping.
    
    Also congrats to Steve Fisher, who's turning in a fantastic coaching
    job this year.  Many wondered whether he could fill Frieder's shoes,
    and boy has he.  Now that Bo's gone we've got two former assistants
    running the two most important squads, and both promotions show
    much promise that the Blue's very special coaching traditions will
    carry on...
    
    Big10 Tom
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    8 lines   1-FEB-1990 10:54
                     -< but don't forget about Williams  >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Boilers won't go undefeated in Big10 play, though.  They'll
    lose in the Barn by the Mississppi.  No one cain win in there this
    year - the place is insane.  It not only is unbelievably loud, it
    shakes.  The Boilers will execute despite this (they've alredy proven
    to be a great road crew) yes, but the Goofs will walk on air and
    drop the Engineers for at least one Big10 circuit loss.
    
    Big10 Tom
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34875::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   23 lines   1-FEB-1990 12:50
                 -< it's all over but the bellyachin' now... >-
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    Michigan's already lost to them at home, and is erratic on the road
    having lost to two second division teams while travelling (Iowa
    and Indiana).  Illinois is having its road woes, too, and don't
    have nearly the overall talent that Michigan has.  
    
    Who else is there?  State and Minnesota.  The Goofs are like all
    teams hailing from the North Star State: they turn pussy on the
    road (Vikes, Northstars, Twins).  Now State looks like their most
    honest competition but the team, while possibly more talented, is
    still a bunch of sophomores prone to inconsistency on occassion.
    Each of these teams is gonna lose a minimum of 3 more games each.
    That adds up to 6 losses minimum for their closest competition.
    
    Meanwhile, the Boilers have won at Assembly Hall, Crisler and a few
    other road venues.  They're a mature team on a roll led by a coach
    who knows how to keep a roll going once started.  No way in HELL is
    Purdue gonna lose 5 of their last ten!  Especially with so many
    tough road games outta de way.
    
    I'm calling the Big10 Title right here right now.  Purdue has clinched
    the first Title of the 90s.
    
    Big10 Tom                  
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CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    51 lines   2-FEB-1990 09:07
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    >They lost one at Wisconsin they should have won...
    
    We needn't dignify this kind of crap with any response.  To do so
    would only make you look bad.
    
    Hey, congrats to the Golden Goofs for *finally* winning against
    a tough opponent on the road.  What does the local paper say this
    morning Spud?  Something about 3 of the last 31?  Impressive.  Not
    to cheapen the victory, they should be proud.
    
    I liken it to a big stud farm boy whose gonads, at the age of 19,
    at long last make that all-important migration from the nether region
    of the lower thorax into the scrotal sacs.  Morbidly late, but at
    least it finally happened and they're no less dangerous for their
    tardiness...
    
    Not to discount their victory, for Clem's a good coach and its smart
    to take whatever the officials give, but I have to agree with Judd's
    post-game comments that Minnesota creates a lotta problems with
    their pushing and shoving.  Their guards beat you up with brutal
    hand checks, Melvin Newburn is infamous for manhandling defenders
    with his off hand when dribbling (he was called for it 3 times in
    the Indiana game), and Clem has done a beautiful job of of teaching
    the subtly effective pre-jump rebounder's shove.
    
    But the book is out on them know, the coaches have caught on and
    their bitching full-time to the refs.  More importantly, once they
    leave the friendly confines of the Big10 and go into the NCAAs and
    see some finesse conference refs, it could backfire.
    
    Teams need to know how to handle Minnesota's wandering hands.  The
    young Hoosiers didn't.  They got up off the ground and instead of
    being as sneaky as the Goofs were obvious about it.  But the
    complaining caused the refs to start enforcing, and it was a game
    with almost 60 fouls called, each half going into the bonus with
    14 minutes to go!
    
    Heathcoate admitted that he did a poor job of preparing his Spartans
    for handling being shoved around.  Instead of shoving back like
    Indiana, they allowed many steals and gave up offensive rebounds
    instead; thus garnering not a single foul shot until the game was
    almost over, AT HOME.
    
    Haskins is putting his NBA experience to good use with the Goofs.
    I predict that the conference will catch on and they'll begin to
    pay more of a price for their smallness at forward and bigness at
    guard.
    
    Big10 Tom
                    
    
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"   20 lines   2-FEB-1990 13:25
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    You're right, mike, the 6 foul experiments in the Big East and,
    where is it?, the SEC or SWC, could cause some problems come tourney
    time.
    
    Sounds like "coach" Steve really got stomped by Mean Gene in that
    time out.  Whew!  I wonder when they'll start the open speculation
    about whether Fischer will be fired for incompetence during the
    off-season.
    
    Big games coming up on TV.  I hope the Hoosiers don't get blown
    out in Champaign-Urbana.  They need a good showing to at least build
    confidence.  But, objective analysis forces me to call it a 15 point
    game.
    
    Purdue's on TV??  Is this a scheduling error?  I thought there was
    an executive order from the White House that the Boilers would never
    again appear on national.  It'll be good to see what this top 10
    looks like after all this time...
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.231         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          231 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"  17 lines   5-FEB-1990 08:15
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    >Blaming "hand checks" as the reason are winning!  Give it a rest,
    >I don't think anyone is going to believe that.
    
    I know I don't, cuz nowhere did I ever say such a thing.  As for
    their very physical style of play, even by Big10 standards, that's
    not me talking that's Judd Heathecoate, Bob Knight, and a few other
    coaches.  And they weren't making excuses, they were just saying
    that their players were surprised by it and failed to adjust to
    the officiating.  Bob also complained that the officiating could
    be more consistent; in other words, if they're gonna let Melvin
    Newbern toss defenders around then don't chirp the whistle for a
    no pressure hip touch hand check.
    
    You misquote me for fear that if you ever addressed the real issues
    brought up you'd be blinded by the light...
    
    
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  22 lines   5-FEB-1990 11:25
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    Tough loss for the Boilers, couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
    Scheffler was bound to go cold, but everybody at once?  Gotta credit
    Judd's big guys for the D, and especially for hanging tough in the
    second half when Purdue mounted a comeback.
    
    Ayers' players don't have any quit.  A refreshing change from the
    spiritless play evident with teams put on the floor by Eldon Miller
    and Gary Williams.  Are the Buckeyes back?  Nobody gets off easy
    going into St. John during the second round robin.
    
    I was pleased with the young Hoosiers' progress.  It was important
    to see Lawson asserting himself.  He seems less intimidated now.
    But the Hoosiers are still getting hammered on the boards (41-29),
    but that should improve as they master the fine art of balancing
    weak-side collapse D with boxing off the reboudning lanes.  Pat
    Graham needs to loosen up and chuck the ball up.  They all do, all
    Bob axes is take all good shots, not hit all shots.  
    
    I'm hoping the Hoosiers cain go 9-9 in the conference and manage
    to squeeze into the tourney.
    
    Big10 Tom
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34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  28 lines   5-FEB-1990 13:25
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    Spud, 
    
    Thanks for the implicit admission that I din't claim that the "Gophs
    are winning because of rough play."   You really shouldn't put words
    in mouths, y'know.  
    
    As for Bob on the officiating, I think everybody agrees that it's
    much better this year.  Why not?  They hired ex-Badger coach Rich
    Falk as head of officiating, and he fired about half the Big10 refs
    and replaced them with young blood.
    
    Not that this sez anything about the Hoosiers getting blown out.
    Leving your jibes aside and focusing on the Truth instead, neither
    Bob nor I ever attributed that or any other loss to officiating.
    In fack Bob complains less to refs at courtside than any coach in
    the league.  Keady clearly does the most, with Judd and Clem not
    far behind.
    
    As for our "disappointing season," I don't know what you're talking
    about.  It's a band of freshmen who lost their best player.  They're
    15-4 right now with a good shot at the tourney.  Not bad for a
    rebuilding year coming off a Big10 Title.  
    
    What'll the Golden Goofs be doing next year after all those seniors
    are gone and Clem's made good on his hints that this is his last
    year at the U of M?
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.238         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          238 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  21 lines   5-FEB-1990 14:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >it probably had nothing to do with Redbelly's personality.
    
    Some of us watch hoops for the sport itself; lesser folk, take you
    for example, see the game in terms of a personality contest.  Don't
    even bother protesting this truth, cuz if you do then you're talking
    on-court results and in that case I'll just trot out those old Titles
    you're so tarred of hearing about.
    
    Jay Edwards left for the dough.  Funny, didn't see you over in 25
    impugning 'Snuff Smif's personality based on JR Ried's early departure.
    
    I predicted right here in this file nine months ago that ThunderBurp
    wouldn't make it.  Poor kid has tough luck, huh?  First his high
    school coach was a_abusive nut and then his college coach.  That
    he's the single consistent element in those two "my way or the highway"
    scenarios certainly means nothing.
    
    It speaks volumes that you interpret his leaving as a matter of
    "personality" instead of "methodology."
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.243         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          243 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"            74 lines   6-FEB-1990 12:41
                            -< E Pluriblust Sputum >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >let's look at the on-court results
    
    I think what you really mean to say here, Dan, is "let's take a
    simpleminded one-dimensionsal short-term looks at a conveniently
    selective set of midseason results."
    
    And as for your [source: MrT] series, gulp down a gallon or two
    of source Perrier and go piss into a strong wind cuz doing that
    way you'll foul yourself less than you did with that windbagged
    series of half-truths, exagerrations, and Ed Meese-style coverups.
      
    >creampuff pre-conference schedule
    
    The NCAA's own computer model had the young Hoosiers ranked at around
    20th adjusted for strength of schedule last time I looked (which
    was after the State and Purdue losses).  As a objective analyst
    (know what that is, Dan?) I *will* admit that where last year Indiana
    played one of the country's toughest overall schedules, this year
    a confluence of factors weakened it somewhat (i.e., Louisville's
    upset at the Hoosier Classic, Notre Dame and Kaintucky being way
    down, North Carolina going into the made-for-ESPN BigLeast vs. Atlantic
    Close Conference showdown, etc.).
    
    Dan, have you no respect for factual reality?  [no]
    
    >you would be calling it underachievement
    
    And *you* would be a fortune-teller if you weren't so busy at being
    a subjective sports analyst.
    
    >Edwards... fate has conspired to deny him (needed... seasoning)
    
    And *you* would pluck heart strings like a harp player if your weren't
    so busy harping and plucking and clucking and playing your Tale
    Gunner Joe-style jingoisms like a banjo.  Edwards was in Bob's doghouse
    cuz he partied to much and studied to little.  If enforcing high
    standards makes Bob guilty of conspiracy lock him up, me too.
    
    >If he had gone to UNC originally, he'd still be there now and better
    >for it...
    
    If if if.  If Dan had a so much as one workable hypothesis and a
    a fact or two instead of predictions and suppositions and other
    forms of fecund-but-feral imagination then maybe he wouldn't embarrass
    himself so much.
    
    Let's rub this one down real crisp here: Bob took a rag-tag band
    of undertalented grad students and assorted benchwarmers to a Big10
    Title, a feat widely acclaimed as one of the most remarkable coaching
    achievments ever, which left you an embittered red-faced bag-holder.
    Most of the regulars graduated (well, not exackally: one went pro
    and three took Masters Degrees).
    
    He then had a great recruiting class, lost the pick of the litter
    to his inability to sacrifice standards to a documented haid case
    and his Daryl Strawberry-like behavior; but so far has beaten a
    number of top 20 teams, played some other ones tough and looks to
    be on his way to the NCAAs with a team that's turned the corner
    and will be dangerous once they learn his systems at both ends of
    the court.
                
    Dan, based on all the huff-n'-puff bluster in your note there I
    get the idea you were leading up to some Big Conclusion.  What was
    it? 
    
    Are you implying that he's forgotten how to teach, that these fine
    young frosh won't learn his systems? 
    
    Say, you weren't gonna call an all-time great coach with a proven
    track record something less than that based on midseason results
    with a brand new team, were ya?
    
    Big10 Tom                           
            
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Note 11.246         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          246 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"           33 lines   6-FEB-1990 15:49
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    >Heavens if Tark, or Valvano did such a thing.
    
    Given the fack that it's a perfectly legal and quite common practice,
    I imagine there would be a flap in the press that these two
    grade-fixing sleaze-bags had actually done something legal for a
    change.
    
    >And  can anyone imagine the uproar if Dean or Thompson were caught
    >with their hand in this cookie jar.
     
    Thompson gets away with things no one else does.  As for Dean, he's
    as clean as Bob, which means he's a rare one, so for him to involve
    himself in the summer team thing would no doubt go uncommented.
                                                
    Btw, I don't see how participation in a summer touring program (several
    universities did it last summer) makes any freshmen any older.
     
    >everyone had this team as top 10 material all year long.
    
    Not true.  They will next year, especially if they land a center
    and don't have to play a forward at center and a 6-3 160 lbs. guard
    at forward half the year.
    
    re: good losses
    
    The good losses theory as expounded in the past has to do with middle
    round eliminations from the NCAA tournament, the point being they
    aren't so good after all if they take place consistently over dozens
    of years with studs like JR Ried or Brad Daugherty et al on board.
    
    I don't see how this applies here.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.248         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          248 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice is Truth is Righteous"    17 lines   7-FEB-1990 10:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >BTW, Dean's cleaner than Bobby
    
    Oh, here he trots out the alleged allegations about a telephone
    call.  No, in fack Dean's NOT cleaner, he coaches in the ACC, which
    means he isn't constrained by several of the rules and standards
    unique to the Big10, some in fack inspired by Bob.
    
    >I'm not familiar with that...
    
    No surprise there, to you OR me.  After all, you've admitted that
    you're not that knowledgeable on college basketball, and on that
    at least we cain agree.
    
    Onan Dan trying to prove Bob's a crook and Bob's not a great coach.
    (sigh).
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.250         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          250 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  31 lines   7-FEB-1990 15:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >seeing as how you've ducked the issue of Bobby Knight's current
    >disappointing season...
    
    No, you don't understand college hoops at all.  We won't know whether
    it's a disappointing season until its over.  College basketball is
    a matter of teaching, and what's learned is largely visible at the
    season's end.  The Big10 season is only half over, and so the verdict
    is only half in.
    
    Figure it out: The Big10 is not a two team league like the Big East
    and some others we won't mention.  They come at you from all sides
    here, and if you're running one of the youngest squads in the nation
    you're gonna take your lumps.  
    
    The proof is in the pudding and these kids will show their first
    cut in the second half of the round robin, then in the tourney if
    they make it.  Nothing is due from them until next year as far as
    this analyst is concerned.
    
    By fair evaluation they're far from disappointing thus far.  Even
    if they DO have a disappointing season, so what?  It's a rebuilding
    year.  Bob doesn't recruit dummies and coddle stars and pay salaries
    and appear on national TV three times a week.  He's bound to have a 
    rebuilding year every four years or so.  It's where this squad ends
    up over the long haul that counts.
    
    As for the ethics, so far you've nailed Bob obeying the rules. 
    You should be so vigilant with PJ Carlissimo or Tark or Valvano
    or Stompshim.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.260         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          260 of 759
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   35 lines   9-FEB-1990 15:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Bobbing for Bux!
    
    Smart alecky commentary doesn't help, does it?  Personally, I'm
    happy to see that Bob has opted to access himself to the little
    guy.  The man's a genius, a moral leader and a winner, and as this
    nation sinks ever lower into torpor at least Bob'll be at the other
    end of the line ready to help those with the sense to reach out.
    
    First we had in here the spectacle of Schneid's "expose" series
    where he'd allegedly caught Bob obeying NCAA rules, and now our
    pinko liberal neighbors come in here to complain that he's a
    capitalist.
                               
    Kudos, Bob!  (Imagine me tipping my cap to you ;^)
                        
    re: Purdue
    
    Yesterday we had Clem Haskins boldly predict that the Golden Goofers
    would go 9-0 in the second round robin.  Yesterday evening we had
    the Goofs getting stomped by the Illini, bad.  (Ed Hightower, the
    world's worst head official, managed to let the game go extemely
    rough and free-throw shooting contest simultaneously, how he manages
    this only bald Ed knows..).
    
    Now, the Goofs are a purty good team, especially at home.  They
    couldn't hit the broad side of a barn last night, but they shoot
    well at Williams, the snakiest snake pit in the worlds (Las Cruces
    possibly excepted).  
    
    The Goofs are gonna be mad, real mad, Sunday.
    
    I'll be there, rooting for the Hoosier state visitors.  If they
    win in Williams (is it possible?), they're VERY good.  If.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.264         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          264 of 759
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecutor" 33 lines   9-FEB-1990 17:25
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    Hey how ya don', Bob?  
    
    Funny, since I turned the tide big-time over in 110 you and your
    nattering negative attitude are gone!
    
    >1-900-RANT-N-RAVE
    
    What bull this is.  Bob goes after refs less than the average college
    coach.  For instance, last night three minutes into the Illini game
    we had Clem Haskins laying face down on the court pounding his fist
    and feet into the Assembly Hall hardwood.  Gene Keady never stops
    screaming (he's gonna have a heart attack); 'Snuff Smif' never quits
    with that annoying high pitched whining off his.
    
    No, Bob complains less often.  Is he to be penalized simply because,
    when he *does* complain, he's so EFFECTIVE?  [no]  
    
    Funny, I ain't seen you doing up that bronze medal winning "coach"
    John Stompshim for attacking Rick Pitino at courtside.  I would
    think that you're sensitive to basketball riots where you sit, don't
    you agree that such a_action is MUCH more reprehensible than gingerly
    tossing a chair in a symbolic act of protest, or yelling at a ref?
    
    I've still never gotten the punch line on the Connie Dung thing. Bob
    said nothing wrong in that interview.  His only wrong there was,
    as with his Feinstein access, not negotiating last look like most
    public figures do to avoid being boo-foo'd on the cutting room floor.
    
    Reason being that allowing yourself to get ripped off by an unscrupulous
    money-hungry writer or a_airhaid Dung is that sheep-like media consumers
    swallow it from the trough whole.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.270         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          270 of 759
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  44 lines  12-FEB-1990 11:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The only reprehensible thing Bob has ever done is pull his team
    off the floor against the Commie-Pinkos.  All the rest is a tired
    recitation of fluff.  As for Wooden, he won TEN by totally dominating
    recruiting, and he's known as a class act despite Mike Warren and
    others admitting that whatshisname the booster car dealer supplied
    no show jobs and new cars for nearly twenty years.  He may be class,
    but to quote the Hoosier Warren, "did coach Wooden know about the
    payments and the cars; let's put it this way.  Where did he think
    that row of Camaros outside his plate glass window came from,
    Disneyland?" 
    
    Meanwhile, no perspective.  $65K outta his own pocket to Landon
    Turner after the accident and you call him an a******.  As for the
    Stompshim comparison, I've never seen a Bob player in a fight and
    last year there was a national debate over the Horrors' penchant
    for on-court violence.  NOT in my imagination, on the networks and
    in the papers, Baby Doc.  The Rick Pitino isn't alleged, it was
    real as any Providence fan will remember.  I lived in Joisey when
    it happened and saw it live on ESPN.  
    
    What does it say about East Coast sensibilities that they'll talk
    of a gingerly thrown protest chair as if it's committing murder
    and yet once coach attacking another coach in front of a crowd going
    wild is just "enthusiasm."  An enthusiastic rotten example from
    a violent coach is what that was.  Preaching violence to children
    is a crime, just like unilateral negotations with crack kingpins
    and racial segregation.
    
    I don't want this rathole, either.  But it stands as simple apparent
    fack that Bob goes after refs far less than most coaches.  In the
    Big10 alone here's how I rate the ref baiters:
    
    1. Keady		no contest, on fast-track to Heart Attack City
    2. Heathcoate	never stops
    3. Haskins		almost never stops and belly flops
    4. Ayers		new talent comes on strong
    5  HitSome		whiney moaner woaner straight from Rev. Smif's book
    6. Bob              infrequent but spectacularly effective protestations
    7. Foster		occasional outburst
    8. Yoder            reasonable objector
    9. Smith            wimp & simp
    10. Davis           nimrod supreme
                                                                            
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.274         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          274 of 759
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  28 lines  12-FEB-1990 14:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Nyah why don't you give it up, Midnight.  Now you're left claiming
    that the nation's press and television audience were dreaming up
    all the rumbles Gougetown's been involved in over the last four
    years; that reality is a function of "paranoia" when in fack the
    thing feuled by paranoia is Stomper's Horror production.  
    
    Anyway, racial segregation belongs in the Big East note and inciting
    to riot in either there or 25.  
         
    The only reason I mentioned Stompshim in here was to point out the
    double standardism involved with Bob bashing: That lightly tossing
    a chair onto some hardwood counts for a lot less than attacking
    coaches or being responsible for a team with a widely recognized
    pattern of violent behavior, and now even this Alonzo Mourning behavior
    against the big guy for Connecticut (which IMHO is no different
    from the same seen from him against the WASP Princeton center,
    different flavor ice cream is all).
             
    re: Marcus
    
    Don't bash him too badly, he's played like man possessed all season,
    he was due for a letdown.  Liberty's really progressed, and has
    turned into a very hard worker and a potential All-America.
    
    And again, congrat's to Purdue on their Big10 Championship.
    
    Big10 Tom                                                  
    
================================================================================
Note 11.277         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          277 of 759
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  17 lines  12-FEB-1990 15:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Maybe it's just the Illini game's I'm catching (I went to the 
    Boiler game yesterday so I missed the Michigan clash) but everytime
    I've seen Marcus this year he and Kendall are emotional and they're
    all over both ends of the court. 
    
    I'm sure he should gain weight.  In the NBA he might make it as
    a 6-9 guard!
    
    re: Big10 race
    
    Impressive win by State over the Buckeyes in St. John (the conference's
    *other* snakepit).  Ohio State is tough and they were fired up,
    but State held up under the pressure and wore them down up front
    and that win pretty much puts them in the running against Michigan
    for 2nd place behind the Boilermakers.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.287         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          287 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been....."     20 lines  16-FEB-1990 11:51
                    -< Michigan going to Final Four again? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Big10 race scenario changed big-time with the injury to Sean
    Higgins' foot.  In the press build up here in Minnesota it came
    out that certain Michigan players have confided that they feel 
    Michigan is a much better team without Higgins.  One player mentioned
    the Indiana game specifically, saying that Higgins had to be IU's
    MVP in that debacle. 
    
    I didn't think anybody could beat the Gophers in Williams.  Last
    night's win by Michigan was very impressive, they asserted themselves
    early and controlled pretty much the whole way.  The local announcers
    gushed the entire game about how different and much more controlled
    they are without Higgins.  
    
    With Vaught and Riley, who needs him?  They were actually blocking
    off the rebounding lanes last night and taking good shots.
    
    And who knows, maybe this Fisher guy cain actually coach!  Perish
    the thought, a good coach at Michigan?
                                                              
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.290         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          290 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been....."     13 lines  16-FEB-1990 14:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Don't get your hopes up, Charles.
    
    This team looks so much better without him that I doubt he'll see
    much action if he is healed.  But a stress fracture takes a long
    time to heal, so that juicy possiblilty is unlikely.  Plus, after
    what's been said about him in the press he might even transfer.
    
    Rumeal was awesome last night.  Minnesota may have the most physically
    talented guards in the conference and he'd isolate on either of
    them, go to the hoop, get the foul, and complete the three point
    play...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.295         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          295 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Home Boy STUD"   36 lines  19-FEB-1990 11:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I cain't recall a frosh ever having won it, but it's possible. 
    George McGinnis, perhaps?  Dunno.  
    
    The Buckeyes' win yesterday was bad news for the Hoosiers, making
    them shaky for the tournament.
    
    The Hoosiers have a chance tonight; they've progressed significantly
    with each game, finding their roles and learning the system.  Bob
    is turning them into a bit of a running team, smart considering
    the kind of talent they have.  Bob's always been flexible and he
    knows he needs to have Gregg Graham, Cheany and Meeks running the 
    open court (one reason Lyndon's been sat down).
    
    True it was against Iowa and at home, but Pat Graham is shooting
    now, they're stealing the ball, and the big redhead is finding himself
    (not star talent but he's a banger underneath).  Purdue should win
    but if they go cold from the field the Hoosiers have progressed
    enough to pull an upset.
    
    re: Big10 race
    
    State has the advantageous schedule at this point.  Michigan looks
    like they'll choke, even with the flick Sean Higgins out.  I see
    it as State vs. Boilermakers now.  
    
    As for the backmarkers, Indiana better hope Illinois continues to
    falter.  But, if they lose at State and Purdue and beat the Illini
    at home and win the other games they'll go 10-8 in the conference
    and 22-8 (?) overall, and should eke into the tourney.
    
    Btw, somebody less than expert on college hoops was in here moaning
    about the Hoosier's preconference schedule: They beat both the Irish
    and the Kaintucks, who in turn have beat SyrExcuse and Lousiana
    Stiff, respectively.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.302         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          302 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Home Boy STUD"   22 lines  19-FEB-1990 13:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Indiana last year was rated in the NCAA weighting system as among
    the toughest overall schedules.  I wish they'd re-do the Hoosier
    Classic such that they always had Louisville, but they cain't be
    held responsible for the Cardinals' upset this year.
    
    As far as overall schedule goes, that the Big10 has ten teams where
    many leagues have only eight really in effect adds as many as four
    more tough match ups per year - significant in the NCAA weighting
    system.  So, overall, Indiana's weighting will be just about the
    same as the Star Heels'.
    
    I'm glad about the limit put on the total number of games; but don't
    like the way they did it whereby they'll count tournaments as only
    1 game.  This means more of the hit or miss action like with Louisville
    this year; and also defeats the limit's purpose by making for three
    or four day stayovers.
    
    I'd like to see the old system of home-away 3 year contracts (like
    the Hoosiers had with Kansas, ND, UK, KSU, South Carolina, St. Johns,
    et al).
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.310         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          310 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   44 lines  20-FEB-1990 10:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Hoosiers had a chance, but won't make good on it when unable
    to hit the broad side of a barn from the field.  Also, this is the
    get even year for opposing home crowds and the young Hoosiers are
    letting it get to them, first they were distracted then they fell
    apart last night.
    
    Good lesson for them, though.  Personally, I'm only disappointed
    that they didn't reflect the progress they've shown recently in
    running Bob's systems.  But, youngest team in the country on the
    road against the best team of the toughest conference in the country
    is a recipe for what happened.  
    
    I purty much called it, axeing Doug Ross for a_18 point spread
    yesterday.  He sent back some lies about how 7 points better fit
    this rivalry which I ignored.
    
    Getting blown out makes little difference.  This loss and one at
    East Lansing are anticipated.  The real question is whether they
    cain win the other four games and end up 10-8 and have all their
    ducks in a row as to who does what on the floor:  
    
    Gregg Graham - has progressed a lot, but still learning when to
    		   run vs. when to pull up; needs to improve inlet passing
    
    Pat Graham   - who with his mediocre floor game talent needs to get
                   more agressive with the J to contribute  
    
    Cheany       - needs to find himself in the offensive scheme with more 
    	           drives to the hoop and either dishing to Anderson or
                   putting it up; should hit o-boards harder
    
    Lawson	 - not first rate Big10 starter quality, but a banger,
    		   if Bob cain't recruit a real center then Lawson may
    		   develop into a role player
    
    Nover	 - enigma, seems lost, intimidated by what's going on
    		   around him; needs to assert himself
    
    If two of these four make any kinda progress, the Hoosiers could
    surprise in the tourney, cuz Meeks is a_excellent role playing ball
    handler/defender and Eric Anderson is perhaps the best player in
    the league.
    
    Big10 Tom   
================================================================================
Note 11.326         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          326 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "vet hero/nerve pain/integrity"  28 lines  28-FEB-1990 13:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Steve Smith is neck-and-neck with Purdue center Steve Scheffler
    for Big10 PoTY.  He' a "tweener, and he's nearly impossible to match
    up with - too big for guards, too quick for and just as strong as
    the big guys.  State has a great recruiting class in its sophomore
    year and people coming back from injury.  With a crew around him
    this year he's emerged.  Indiana played them tough the other night
    at State but down the stretch Smith took over at both ends.
    
    Right now I gotta switch from Scheffler to Smith for PoTY, but there'll
    be a showdown against Purdue on the regular season's last day.
    
    re Indiana
    
    Hoosiers have three toughies at home (Gophers, Illini, Buckeyes) and 
    one easier type game (Badgers) on the road.  They've improved steadily
    but have been losing going through the toughest part of their schedule
    (Wolverines, Boilers & Spartans on road) so it's now or never time
    for this the natin's youngest team. 
    
    They need to win 3 of the 4 remaining games, which probably means
    winning at Madison (I'll be at courtiside conferrng with Bob so
    they should be ok ;^) and beating 2 of 3 hot clubs at home.
    
    They're not a very good rebounding team and are having trouble from
    the field so... here's hoping.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
    
================================================================================
Note 11.335         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          335 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"     5 lines   1-MAR-1990 11:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Hoosiers have the Buckeye the Illini the following week.  Not
    that they have any great bearing on the race's outcome at this 
    point...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.336         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          336 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"     5 lines   1-MAR-1990 11:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I believe the Hoosier boy Manns is not projected to play again 
    the remainder of the regular season, and is doubtful even for the
    NCAAs.  Stress fracture in one of the long bones of one foot.
    
    Big10 Tom  
================================================================================
Note 11.339         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          339 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  14 lines   1-MAR-1990 14:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Is there a note missing in here?  Who dislocated his thumb?  Schneid
    apparently did, possibly too much vacuum generated by that mouf
    when puckered up to make a sucking action; but did someone say Manns
    did his thumb?
    
    If he did he's got *two* injuries, cuz the reports here say it's
    his foot, and during the pre-game of the IU-State game the other
    day the announcers held up a foot skeleton (possibly expropriated
    from Jim Vulvano's closet for educational purposes) and pointed
    out the very bone that is hairlined.
             
    It's now or never for les Hoosiers ce soir.  GO RED, BEAT THEM GOOFS!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.345         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          345 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasPollardNorthKnorr"    90 lines   5-MAR-1990 10:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >All-Blue-Chip-Band
    
    Their starting center, Chris Lawson, isn't a blue chipper.  He's
    a stiff.  With a few years experience he might eventually progress
    into a solid grade B center, but he's pretty physcially limited as
    far as speed and jumping ability, and has rather short arms and
    small hands for a man of his size.  Chris was rated the 3rd or 4th
    best center among Hoosier high school teams last year. 
    
    Also not a blue chipper is Matt Nover.  Matt is a great athlete
    (high jumped over 7 ft.) but he too is a bit of a project as far
    as basketball skills go, with a very slow developing jump leaving
    him flat footed on rebounding situations, and not much of a dribble
    or jump shot for a forward.  
              
    Although he was recruited more heavily than Nover and Lawson, Jamaal
    Meeks is another guy who plays extensively who isn't a true blue
    chipper in terms of national all star squads.
    
    Cheaney, the Grahams, and Reynolds are the blue chippers, and eventually
    all four of them will end up competing with Meeks and Damon Bailey
    for guard spots IF they ever recruit some quality big people to
    supplement the fine Eric Anderson.  If not, then Cheaney will stay
    on as a short forward which shouldn't affect his offense too much
    but will hurt the team somewhat on the boards, their biggest shortcoming
    this year.
                                                 
    Over the long haul to compete the Hoosiers minimally MUST recruit
    a center.  Bob's had four reasonably good centers at Indiana, and
    here's what happened with each of them:
    
    1. Steve Downing '73	Final Four; gave Bill Walton's UCLAns
    				closest game of tournament; extremely
    				slow but strong, excellent on boards
    				and with close-in offense
    
    2. Kent Benson  '76		Title; one loss over two years and that
    				with May's broken arm; college hoops
    				last dominant team; slow and no jumper
    				but fine shooter who rebounded ok in
    				college
    
    3. Ray Tolbert '81		Title; great defensive player, couldn't
    				shoot but was fine rebounder who could
    				run floor; record for widest average
    				margin of victory in NCAA tournament
    				still stands
                                                         
    4. Dean Garrett		Title; raw talent, not strong for center
    				but had size and heart enough to rebound
    				and defend the lane, mediocre shooter
    
    Four centers, three titles, and Bob had Downing only for his last two
    years on a squad often described as the slowest in the history of
    modern college hoops and they *still* gave the champions a major
    scare.
    
    If Bob EVER recruits a top drawer center (again?  Some say Benson
    was one, after all he was All-America twice, others say Benson was
    made to look better than he really was by the players surrounding
    him)... *then* this talented recruiting class might go somewhere.
    
    Here's the ideal look, along the model seen every year from Michigan/
    Syracuse/Georgetown/North Carolina et al, of this talented young
    team:
    
    		1st team		2nd team
    
    F		Anderson		Nover
    F		?			
    
    C		?			Lawson
    
    G		Cheaney			G. Graham
    G 		Damon Bailey		P. Graham
    					Reynolds	
    					Meeks		
                                             
    Obviously with the major league talent glut at guard and the total
    lack of depth up front Cheaney goes to small forward, but then who
    plays backup?  Remember, Nover's a project.
    
    Word is that it's now a lock for Eric Montross to sign with Michigan
    (he's reportedly balking only cuz of the horrible team play seen
    thus far under Fisher) and for the Hoosiers to go with a very talented
    small lineup with Anderson at center and a running game.  They'll
    be top 20 and then top 10, but will have trouble with the great
    teams...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.349         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          349 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   32 lines   5-MAR-1990 14:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Jay Edwards: chewed up and spit out by Bobby Knight.
    >
    >Knight did Edwards a disservice by allowing him to play last year,
    >which certainly helped the basketball team ot the Big Ten Title
    >but seems to have left Edwards ill-prepared to either the NBA or
    >life in general.
    
    Above we see the intellectual bankruptcy with which Dan has somehow
    been handicapped in dealing with college sports.
    
    What he calls Knight's "disservice" was suspending his star from
    the team despite being eligible under Big10 and NCAA guidelines.
    Bob took the "my way or the highway" approach for which he's known
    which opened the door for Edwards to either take advantage of the
    support made available to him or get out.  Jay chose to get out.
    
    As for the implication that he was "chewed up and spit out" for
    the Big10 title, well, it flies in the face of the fack that Bob
    suspended him and only accepted him back on his terms (read: principles
    over winning at all costs).
    
    Also, what does one need to be "prepared" for the NBA?  Bob taught
    Edwards, at great effort, how to overcome his slow footedness and
    play man defense and also how to create situations with the ball
    (Jay was very poor at both these skills when he arrived).  If we're
    talking social preparation, given the literacy level in the NBA,
    yes, maybe imposing higher academic standards on Edwards left him
    "unprepared" for the NBA.  But wait!  Jay copped out on school,
    and on straightening out, so wouldn't that make him perfectly prepared
    to fit in with the NBA?
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.351         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          351 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   45 lines   5-MAR-1990 15:13
                          -< What I Did This Weekend >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, first off, I did NOT meet the Master, the Guru, Bob.
    
    Our host, who did a fine job, is the Divisional VP for a media
    holding company based outta Minneapolis.  He deals with Yoder a
    lot cuz his radio and TV properties originate all Badger sports.
    He had gotten Yoder to agree to set up a_introduction, but when
    we arrived we were told that Bob had decided against it cuz he didn't
    want us in the locker room and, understandably :^), he has a
    longstanding policy against hanging around in the hallways of other
    Big10 venues.
    
    The rest held true, though.  Got the jet ride (Cessna Citation),
    and got the stretch limo and Yoder's recruiting tickets too.  Our
    group included 3 Hoosiers (me, a_author, and my ex-roommate who's
    VP of Biz Dev for the media outfit), 1 ex-Badger benchwarmer who's
    now a_entertainment lawyer, and a Goofer grad.  Our host was a real
    scream, turns out he used to run WBZ and he's the guy who hired
    Upton Bell to do that non-homer talk show back in the late 70s that
    made Red scream so much!
    
    Anyways [sic], no Bob.  But cain I complain?  Hey, one doesn't expect
    to meet a God without a ticket, and our in wasn't thru IU people.
    After all, one cain expect to barge into the office of a pretender
    (ACC Chris); but a_audience with the real thing, now THAT takes
    some influence!
    
    Good game though.  Fortunately the Badgers start a short front-line
    so we were able to play Nover instead of Lawson and that gave us
    better offense and fewer fouls on D.  We were 13 down with 9 minutes
    left and stormed back on a 20-5 run that included some scintillating
    defensive play.  Pat Graham's really come on.
    
    Much of the game the Badgers had Bobby Douglass' son shooting treys
    at one guard and Larry Hisle's son handling the ball at the other
    guard.  
    
    The Big10 officials (Jim Boehm's rotten crew) chirped the whistle
    for travelling on every head fake so it unfortunately became a jump
    shooting contest, a scary thing with Locum playing for the opposition.
    Nice fieldhouse, though.  Old, loud, intimate (seats 11,500).  Biggest
    crowd of the year.
    
    I won't go into pacifics, but Madison is one very charming town...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.355         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          355 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   57 lines   5-MAR-1990 15:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >but it was quickly forgotten when it became apparent that the 
    >basketball team really really needed him to succeed...
    
    Oh quit it with the mendacity routine, Schneid.  You don't need
    to tell lies to set a hook with bait, *I've* proven that.  Shame
    on you:
    
    1. Jay, the first true HS superstar Bob had recruited since Isiah,
       had his scholarship yanked by Bob - even though he was at the
       time fully eligible, for a variety or reasons.  Bob said that
       if he wanted to straighten out he'd have to do so at his own
       expense on his own time.
    
    2. Jay, a true blue chipper, took out a loan to attend summer school
       and the fall semester in order to prove he was serious as a student.
    
    3. His grades improved markedly.
    
    4. When it was established that he'd done drugs (despite the right
       wing agitprop that now dominates this country, I for one don't
       refer to a college kid who partied and did some pot or toot as
       having a "major problem") the University forced him onto a so-called
       rehab program.
     
    5. As a result of all the rehab and the improved grades/attendance
       Jay (the star player) was granted his scholarship back.
    
    6. Jay then left for the money of the NBA.
    
    Now, setting aside Schneid's mendacious interpretations, what stands
    out here is that Bob was uncompromising to the point of doing something
    unprecedented in big-time college athletics: He threw his best player
    off of scholarship even though he was eligible and forced this best
    player to pay his own way to the school for a shot at earning his
    way back on (which he did).
    
    Jay left for money, not cuz of grades or drugs.
    
    That he wasn't ready for the NBA is irrelevant.  Everybody but Jay
    knew that when he left but he was ready enough to get several hundred
    thousand dollars guaranteed so it's hard to call Jay dumb for leaving.
    
    No, Schneid doesn't tell he Truth, he only types in agitprop of
    his own.  A fack check proves that Bob's handling of Jay was not
    only exemplary, it was without precedent.
    
    Funny, but where are the notes about JR Ried proving such a bum
    in the NBA?  Where are the notes about Walter Davis and his flared
    white-coated nostrils?  Not only does Schneid have a problem with
    mendacity but he's got a niggling little hypocrisy thing gnawing
    away at his "credibility" too.
    
    Bob's handling of Jay should be the basis of NCAA legislation on
    how to handle star players.  We'd be a better country, a less
    hypocritical country, for it and that cain't be denied.
                                  
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.360         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          360 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   23 lines   5-MAR-1990 16:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Valvano would have let Edwards play last year too.
     
    Yeah, but Valvano wouldn't have yanked his scholarship.  But,
    given the high pay scale of NC Skate players, *that* wouldn't
    have made much difference anyway.
    
    Come to think of it, from that TV special they did on Valvano
    the way I understand it the only time he cuts scholarships is when
    the kid has suffered a debilitating injury and cain't play basketball
    anymore.  (Note: Bob gave $65K of his own money as the initial donation
    to the Landon Turner fund, and renegotitated terms with his lawyer,
    who alas is Eric Montross Sr., and the univeristy retained its
    scholarship for him.)
                   
    Give it up, Dan.  You're MUCH more effective when giving your
    impassioned speeches on behalf of racially segregated teams, or
    expounding on the virtues of classism in higher education.  *Then*
    you're downright eloquent; in *this* you're downright wrong.
    
    Bob's above reproach and beyond comparison when it comes to holding
    to high principles at the expense of his winning percentage.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom                                             
================================================================================
Note 11.361         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          361 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   19 lines   5-MAR-1990 16:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Purdue can win that game, the Gophers won there you know.  The new
    arena there isn't the loud vibrating reverberating disorienting
    (disorientATing to you, Schneid) place the old fieldhouse was. 
    Less of a_advantage now.
    
    Big10 CoTY has got to be Keady.  He's got a team of role players.
    Some damned good ones, but this team is the product of his teaching.
    He gets CoTY alone for the marvelous job he's done on Scheffler,
    who's been moulded into the consumately optimized player.  He's
    also worked miracles with Jones and Berning.
    
    It's too bad he couldn't have won the Title, but Judd's talent was
    just too much to handle.  The loss to Iowa killed them, but when
    you rely THAT much on execution and great shooting, you're open
    to off night losses and that's what has happened with each Purdue
    Big10 loss, and Mean Gene cain't go out there and shoot the ball
    now cain he?
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.363         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          363 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   21 lines   5-MAR-1990 16:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Yes.  And once the basketball season rolled around?  There's Jay
    >back on scholarsip.
     
    Schneid, I told you it's a_indictment of yourself to keep on lying
    like you are on this.  Telling lies is very bad and intellectually
    bankrupt:
    
    Once the basketball season rolled around there was Jay on a loan
    co-signed by his Dad.  There was Jay wondering about whether he'd
    have to write a check for the spring semester until sometime in
    Decemeber (as I remember).  There was Jay, the only self-funded
    elgible superstar in modern college hoops history, on his own dough
    until the spring semester.
    
    There ya go, Schneid.  Now, granted, while the Truth doesn't fit
    your tireless polemics it *doesn't* exackally kill ya, does it?
    
    You should try it more often.  I cain give you free lessons should
    you politely axe.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.364         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          364 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   32 lines   5-MAR-1990 16:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Because no one is sitting there typing repeatedly the propoganda
    >about how those coaches are so lily-white, so...
    
    True, and *that* in turn is cuz no one badgers the other unimpeachable
    coaches, few though they are.
    
    Take, for example, my handling of Reverend Smif'.  *I've* never
    impugned this fine but grotesquely overrated man with schneid 
    mendacities based on kids going hardship or ex-players snorting
    the coke.
    
    No, there's a cottage industry out there in impugning Bob.  Why?
    My theory is that as a collective consciousness we're quite guilty
    about what a big steaming bucket of vomit-like TV-propelled hypocrisy
    college athletics has become, so we take a purist throwback who's
    also highly successful and controversial and excoriate him for the
    sins of a legion of others.
    
    And why not?  Heck, there's big money in it.  Look at what happened
    to YOU, Schneid.  You read Feinstein's book.  He was shrewd enough
    to walk away a multi-millionaire; you were craven enough to walk
    away actually believing it.
    
    Everybody's happy, except those of us who cling to Truth and Principle.
    
    But, again, on the Edwards issue not only are you forced into weaving
    fallacious logic, you're actually telling bald-faced lies!  (see
    above)
    
    Big10 Tom 
    
    
================================================================================
Note 11.370         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          370 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 47 lines   6-MAR-1990 08:44
                   -< Schneid, your argument is mendacious >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >You're blind with your confessed bigotry.
    
    No, I'm endowed with a vision afforded by a better understanding
    of the English language and by a dedication against hypocrisy.
    My "confessed bigotry" is a case in point.  I make no bones that
    I'm "one obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his own opinions
    and prejudices" on the Big10.  I don't cheapen the discourse in
    here, as so many do, pretending to be objective in matters of sports
    where team loyalty means I'm not.  
    
    I'm a_advocate, and my job is made MUCH easier by my school and my 
    conference enjoying the high ground.
    
    As for *you*, I've pointed out where you haven't been telling the
    Truth in the Edwards matter, and I understand why: You're argument
    wouldn't work if you DID hold to the facts, so you don't!  Yesterday
    you were talking about how his scholarship was reinstated in the
    fall, now you're talking about a secret guarantee to reinstate it
    in the fall (something for which there's not a scrap of evidence).
    
    You also conveniently ignore the indisputable fack that Bob's handling
    of Edwards, his only star, was unparalleled in its strictness (i.e.,
    he was forced to attend summer school, suspended from play, and
    forced to pay his tuition despite being eligible).  
    
    Now, if you're gonna complain that Bob was too strict, make that
    argument but if you continue to abuse the Truth I'll continue to
    call you out on it.  
    
    Bob has lost many a player to his strictness over the years.  Jay
    was handled no differently.
    
    Btw, it's funny to see you thumping drug test reports; aren't they
    in clear violation of the United States Constitution?  What right
    does a sports monopoly have to abridge constitutional rights to
    ensure its own success.  It's not like Edwards is a commercial jet
    pilot.  
    
    Individual rights are collapsing in this country, and oddly enough
    the sports industry is playing a key role in the process by inuring
    the public to such losses as the inevitable byproduct of competition
    and success.  Most citizens now accept these encroachments as alright
    cuz they're victims of agitprop.  You and I are a good study in
    this: I've avoided swallowing their propaganda; you clearly are
    an abject victim of it.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.374         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          374 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 14 lines   6-MAR-1990 08:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Illini vs Hoosiers pre-empts Boilers vs State?
    
    Ha ha haaa.  Personally, I'm ecstatic.  Bad for the league, good
    for MrT.  Haaa.  What a bunch of bull.  But remember, fellows, the
    guys who set those schedules base their methodology on what they
    see in the Big East and ACC, where it's almost always the same two
    teams playing for the Title, and anyway it doesn't count cuz it's
    all cheapened by the money grubbing post-season redundancies.  
    
    It's totally irresponsible for them to pass on such a rare thing
    in college hoops: a final day true championship game.  Inexcusable,
    but I'm vewy vewy happy about this.  :^)
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.384         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          384 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  21 lines   6-MAR-1990 12:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Because no one is sitting there typing repeated the propoganda
    >[sic] about how those coaches are so lilly-white [sic], so superior, 
    >so deservedly self-righteous... 
    
    You're schneiding the Truth again, Dan.  We've been hearing about
    Reverend Smif' from you and ACC Chris for quite a while about how
    clean and superior his program is.  And if allowing a building to be 
    named after oneself while still living and with such paltry national 
    level results isn't self-righteous NOTHING is.
    
    Face it, Schneidster.  You hate Bob's guts.  It's a_irrational thing
    on your part, so your hypocrisy in this matter isn't a function
    of your being a *total* hypocrite; just of you being totally
    hypocritical as far as Bob and ethics in college sports go.
    
    Certainly deep in your heart you agree with Cap and me on this...
                   
    You must wince and flinch every time you type in these mendacities
    you've be spouting the last couple of days, eh?
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom                                
================================================================================
Note 11.392         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          392 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  28 lines   6-MAR-1990 16:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >they have no conference quality wins...
    
    Michigan's not quality?  
    
    And OSU beat Louisville, yeah.  But Indiana won on the road against
    some tough teams like UTEP, Notre Dame, Kentucky, etc.  It'll all
    come out of Sagarin's objective computer model, which decides based
    not on values but on results.
    
    And how is it you guys talk as if the season's already over?  Don't
    the final two games count?  Right now Ohio State deserves to go
    and the Hoosiers don't.  But now Indiana is through with the horror
    part of its schedule and gets a shot at beating two very tough teams
    at home (OSU, Illini).  
    
    If they win both those games they certainly deserve to go, regardless
    of what happens to OSU.  If they lose one of the two then OSU deserves
    to go more than the Hoosiers, although the Hoosiers would be eliminated
    despite being a top 35 team.  Remember, IU's the youngest team seen
    in the college game in years, maybe ever, and they've progressed
    steadily of late.
    
    If the Hoosiers aren't given a berth I think they should decline
    an NIT bid.  Why bother?  That tournament has been rendered pointless
    and without prestige.  It doesn't even help with recruiting anymore
    so why detract from the studies?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.393         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          393 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  18 lines   6-MAR-1990 16:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This is the time of the year when Big10 pride means the most.
    
    Most other conferences are playing those post-season pre-NCAA 
    redundancies that make one wonder why in the hell they even bother
    playing the regular season in the first place.
         
    It's sooooo fine to be able to enjoy a conference opener and know
    that it really counts; to have truly BIG games and meaningful races
    all winter long.
    
    This is why it's all the more a crime that they're not showing the
    Purdue-State final day showdown.  But at least we cain take pride,
    Big10 pride, in not having our conference season cheapened.
    
    Let us pray that this ACC guy they hired fails in his endeavor to
    do just that.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.398         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          398 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  20 lines   7-MAR-1990 09:48
                  -< OSU vs IU?  We'll see tomorrow night... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Hoosier Dome... "on the road"?
    
    As much as dozens of other teams playing in regional mini-tourneys.
    You make it sound as if the stands are filled with IU fans, but
    that's not the case.  Tens of thousands of fans are there from the
    other three schools (all of which are nearby, and have multitudes
    of alums and fans in Naptown), and even many Purdue fans are there
    to look on despite not being invited... ;^)
    
    >I meant defeating ranked teams...
    
    Michigan was ranked.  And again, the season's not over yet and they'll
    be playing two ranked teams at home.  We'll see.  Also, as I remember
    UTEP and Notre Dame were ranked early this year too, weren't they?
    
    >The UTEP win if I remember correclty was also at home for IU.
    
    IU's home court is in Bloomington, Indiana, not El Paso, Texas.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.400         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          400 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  16 lines   7-MAR-1990 10:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    No, UTEP was in the top 25 for a period of time (whether rightly
    or wrongly, many early season rankings are based on the previous
    year).  Winning at UTEP's snake pit is something for ANY team
    to brag about.  I figured they'd lose there.
    
    Whatever the case, despite what's being said here I contend that
    the tourney selections should be based on the entire season.  I
    also am confident that Indiana's overall schedule will be given
    a significant positive weighting in the NCAA model.
    
    Most important, if they manage to beat Kendall Gill/Marcus Liberty
    and Jim Jackson this week IMNSHO they'll also be a very dangerous
    low seed in the tourney - one I'll hope to win two games (though
    as a low seed this will be unlikely).
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.406         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          406 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  23 lines   7-MAR-1990 11:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >2 NCAA Tourney Excellent Losses.  Who Cares?!
    
    YOU of all people, ACCaught, should know that it's a single 
    elimination tournament.
    
    re: Charles
    
    As I recall the UTEP game was regular road game and wasn't part
    of a tournament.  UTEP was ranked fairly high last year (as high
    as the top ten?) but musta graduated some people.  UTEP is considered
    one of the worst snake pits there is, right up there with Las Cruces
    and Minneapolis.
    
    On the Big Four, what counts is the composition of the crowd, not 
    which school is closest.  Blocks of tickets are set aside for all four 
    schools, so your implication that it's the same as Assembly Hall is
    off.  Again, I wish they'd just schedule Louisville straight up and
    not leave it to a preliminary game as to whether they play.  
                                          
    Btw, this year OSU's schedule is ranked one of the nation's toughest.
    Last year that honor belonged to IU.  
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.415         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          415 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  32 lines   7-MAR-1990 13:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >There have been more strict handlings [sic] of players.  You are
    >wrong.
     
    There you go AGAIN with this intellectually dishonest shell game
    of yours.  I am NOT wrong: Forget that other players have been
    suspended or when they were suspended and other similarly half-
    relevant bilge and name one, ONE, coach who EVER kicked his only
    star off the team despite being eligible, then reinstated him to
    the team (sans scholarship on his own dime) after he'd met all the
    conditions of the suspension.
    
    Face it:  Last year was a_unmitigated disaster for you.  Bob's 
    unparalleled strict handling of his star put the lie to your claims
    that his ethical standards are slective.  Jay taking out a loan
    to work his way back onto the squad put thelie to your claims that
    Bob runs a Feinstein-style psychological torture chamber.  That three
    of the six Hoosier players with the most PT were enrolled in master's
    programs put the lie to your claims that his academic standards
    were compromised by red shirts and jucos.  That he won the Big10
    Title with a short guard at forward and a slow forward at center
    put the lie to your claims that he doesn't do more, much more, with
    less, much less.  
    
    So you're understandable bitter towards Bob and me and you're forced
    to stoop to taking liberties with the facks of Edwards' drug suspension.
                                                                
    All these things are true.  Also true is that sports teams, amateur
    or pro, have absolutely no right in America to go drug testing people,
    something you in your lust for sports success apparently are willing
    to tolerate.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.418         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          418 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnight"  38 lines   7-MAR-1990 16:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >>>Yesterday, you were in here talking about how his scholarship
    >>>was reinstated last fall...
    
    >>I never said such a thing, but of course, when you plant the words
    >>in my mouth it makes it easier to accuse me of lying, doesn't it?
                                                                   
    Not at all, Schneid.  You get so lost in your intellectual dishonesty
    when it comes to Bob that you manage to accuse yourself of that:
    
    >And once basketball season rolled around?  There's Jay back on
    >scholarship.
    
    In the world of fack, Schneid, when basketball season rolled around
    there was Jay paying his own tuition and wholly in the dark as to
    whether he'd have a scholarship for the spring semester.  
    
    You manage here to even misrepresent your misrepresentations - and
    complain about it!
    
    Speaking a misrepresentation, let's look at some of your other
    dishonesties on the Jay Edwards subject:
    
    >There's Jay with a host of problems never made to understand [sic]
    >their gravity because he performs on the court.
    
    No explicit lie here, just a tortured willful misrepresentation,
    for you fail to note that he was "there" unique to the college game
    on his own loan, and only after having complied with each and every
    demand made on him by the university library (he returned the books
    and paid the fines), the Council of Ten (he went to treatment where
    they pounded into him how getting high in college is a horrible
    thing), and the College (he got his grades back up).
    
    You gotta admit, Schneid, where I walk the edge on advocacy you're
    willing to cast all respect for Truth aside and dive into straight
    ahead ficiton writing.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.419         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          419 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnight"  50 lines   7-MAR-1990 16:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I don't agree with T on his feelings about Knight.  You know that
    >I've entered in valid criticisms over Knight's actions on several
    >occasions.
    
    So have I.  Don't *you* start with the misrepresentations, Cap.
    
    >Cap, you can replace 'Dan' with 'MrT' in your note and it fits
    >perfectly.
    
    It doesn't fit, cuz I don't engage in mendacity and it's plain as
    day that, when it comes to Bob, Dan does (see previous note).
    
    >buying your crap...
    
    You're the one writing the fiction in here, as is now established.
    
    But step back and take a look at the crap you've written in here
    the past few days on this rathole YOU started: You claim that Bob
    has cynically used him ("Jay, chewed up and spit out") on the shaky
    grounds that he was sent the wrong "message."  Yet the only bad
    information you've got even a shred of backing on is that he was
    "allowed" to turn pro when he wasn't ready.  
    
    I won't rehash the facks here other than to note that the proper
    approach to unaccpetable behaviors is counseling and strict standards,
    both of which Edwards got through Bob.
    
    Your side claim that Bob's actions in the matter were hypocritical
    (in fack your only reason for shedding alligator tears for Edwards
    in the first place) fall down in the face of the established facks.
    
    In the process you got caught abusing these facks and then have
    the nerve to complain about the Truth being pointed out by me.
    
    The name-calling part ("sycophant") then takes you into incorrectitude,
    for nowhere have I flattered Bob, just pointed out facks that tend
    to flatter him; and nowhere has this proved self-seeking for me,
    for I get nothing but trouble for doing it!
    
    One last thing, get a dictionary and use it, for you seem to be
    convinced that propaganda is necessarily a bad thing.  It's a form
    of information and that is not, by definition, necessarily bad or
    dishonest (see David Gergen).
    
    So you see, Dan, if you want to continue using this piece of hurtful 
    phraseology against me, you'll have to expand it to read something
    like "MrT's *incorrect* propaganda" or "T's *biased* propaganda."
    
    Big10 Tom
    
================================================================================
Note 11.428         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          428 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"   7 lines   9-MAR-1990 09:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Excellent victory by the young Hoosiers last night, dropping the
    tough Buckeyes in a hard fought game.  But it appears they won the
    battle but lost the war: Eric Anderson, the Hoosiers' only player
    with nearly two years experience, went down late in the first half
    with a_apparently broken ankle.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.430         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          430 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  21 lines   9-MAR-1990 10:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I don't know about that.  The NCAA has been making noises about
    relying even more heavily on schedule-weighted selections this year,
    which should make the Buckeyes a lock (they've played one of the
    toughest overall schedules this year).  While Indiana's preconference
    schedule was much weaker, two or three of those opponents went on
    to beat top teams.  Add that to their conference schedule and they'll
    get serious weighting also.
    
    Obviously, both deserve to go as it is.  But the reality is that
    with the little conferences and the redundancy conference tournaments
    a lotta less deserving teams will mooch slots.  That being so, I
    think if Indiana beats the Illini (unlikely if Anderson's indeed
    out) they go, if they lose and end up at 8-10 18-8 they don't.
         
    What a crime it is that Purdue vs State isn't on TV.  One wonders
    what effect the huge Chicago TV market had on the otherwise
    inexplicable decision to show Illini vs Hoosiers.
    
    Big10 Tom
    
    Big10
================================================================================
Note 11.433         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          433 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  8 lines   9-MAR-1990 11:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Probably neither, Hoot, but I didn't see the game except for the
    last minute (which ESPN showed after one of its useless grade C
    tourney games ended).
    
    Indiana typically gets more foul shots cuz of the style of offense
    they run, what with all the picks and inside plays.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.450         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          450 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10, Conference of the 80s"   29 lines  13-MAR-1990 10:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >All they're playing for throughout the season is the seeding.  In
    >the Ivy... regular season means everything because only the regular
    >season champions is going...
    
    WRONG!!  What they're playing for is the Midwestern Championship,
    bragging rights, the ability to point to their total number of flags
    (or, in the case of Minnesota, the paucity thereof).  
    
    >the only truly meaningul regular season in college basketball today
    >belongs  to the Ivy League...  regular season means everything becasue
    >only the regular season champion is going...
     
    You contradict yourself: If the Ivy's regular season's meaning depends
    on the NCAA torney for its meaning the its regular season apparently
    isn't nearly as meaningful as the Big10 Title is in the middle west.
    That the Ivy is so much worse at hoops cain't be used cheapen what we call 
    "Big10 Pride."  
    
    Last year, for example, Hoosier fans were ecstatic about their astonishing 
    Big10 Title; and we knew full well that the team had perhaps the least 
    chance of any Big10 squad in the tourney.  But we have that Big Red Flag, 
    yet another Big Red Flag, hoisted up there in the rafters of ol' Assembly
    Hall.
    
    I especially like to take Boilermaker fans to ol' Assembly.  They jest
    keep craning their haids up at all those Big Red Flags and snarling
    their lips back Alonzo Mourning-style.  Haw haw haw...
         
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.451         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          451 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 32 lines  13-MAR-1990 10:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >It appears as if Bob let the heat of the battle get to him again...
    
    No, it appears that Bob spoke his fine mind, as is his habit.  And
    a fine sentiment it was, too.
    
    >T has been defending Illinois...
    
    Only pointing out that thus far all we've got are allegations by
    a hated rival, which the source vehemently denies.
    
    Turns out that Blazer was bought by Gill's parents on a bank note
    (and they very much resent the assumption by white America that
    all black families live in destitute poverty).
    
    Now, I ain't saying Illinois is innocent.  I dunno.  If I had to
    guess I'd say they probably are.  We'll see.  Bob has leveled
    accusations again Illinois many times before.  He has a better feel
    for the situation than I, for he's in there recruiting against them
    and seeing the kid make his decision.  For example, IU was the last
    school ruled out by Deon Thomas.  
    
    I think Bob realizes that stringent enforcement of rules will only
    help put him back on a_even competitive footing; and no doubt Glenn
    is right that Bob probably was reacting to the fack that IU was
    outmanned in 4 of 5 match ups Sunday - and Illinois is the second
    smallest team in the league!
             
    I don't see how Bob's speaking highmindedly about his pristine (and
    thus handicapped) program is in any way a "cheap shot."  To feel
    as much rather presumes guilt, don't it [sic]? 
    
    Big10 Tom                                     
================================================================================
Note 11.455         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          455 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 25 lines  13-MAR-1990 11:37
                       -< Big10 Pride.  American Pride. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I regret having turned off the set at the game's end, but the pain
    was just too much for me.  I woulda thoroughly enjoyed hearing Bob's
    speech.  He's such a fine public speaker.
    
    Y'know, Hoot, these are sad times for America.  Maybe Akito Morita
    and his fascist Liberal-Democrat sidekick in the Diet are right: Maybe
    America is so polluted with bad values that we're a lost cause.
    
    - NCAA Tournament Selection Committee Chairman Bob Delany is pressed
      in every interview Sunday evening to deny that Maryland was passed
      over for rules violations.
    
    - Bob is chastised for complimenting his program for consistently
      honoring the rules.
    
    - Bob is chastised for adhering to the same unique tough standards he's 
      always used in cases of poor study habits and/or behavior.  
    
    - The nation's college presidents are cowed and shamed out of raising
      insanely lax academic standards by a mere basketball coach.
    
    Mebbe our values have been so twisted by television viewing pleasure
    that the masses have lost sight of what made this country great.
    
    Big10 Tom                                                       
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Note 11.475         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          475 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 17 lines  14-MAR-1990 10:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I'm afraid ACCaught is indeed caught on his fallacious "brutal 
    bullying of his players I object to" statement.
    
    I've read Feinstein's book myself, and nowhere in it does even this
    money-grubbing new millionaire claim to have witnessed Bob brutalizing
    his players.
    
    >(Bob) brought back the Olympic Gold in fine fashion and for that
    >I'll always be grateful.
    
    In that case, how do you feel about the man who made questionable
    player selections, who refused help from others, who used his special
    brand of alchemy to turn gold into bronze, who DID manage to defeat
    Egypt, who then placed the fruit of his alchemy at the feet of his
    players... who also yells and screams at his players.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.476         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          476 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 26 lines  14-MAR-1990 10:33
                             -< scouting reports >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Michigan State - GREAT swingman in Smith, who cain dominate at both
    		     ends of court; heavy loss with Hoosier Manns out
    		     with broken foot, a super 3 point shot artist; young
    		     Peplowski at center is a STUD who's been coming on
                     strong with floor game (no scorer); super athlete
    	 	     Stengenga sometimes looks lost, loses touch, but
    		     is dangerous.
    
    		     State is a young very talented team.  Dominating
    		     board team that plays disciplined halfcourt game
    		     with emphasis on medium/short shot selection from
    		     forwards.
                              
    Purdue	     Scheffler is 10/10ths optimized widebody who's almost
                     mistake free, another great swingman in Jones who'll
                     go chin-to-chin at both ends.  A bushel bakset full
                     of role players like Berning who cain explode on you
                     in a second. 
    
    		     Boilers more experienced than State, but need to shoot
                     well to win more so than State (to wit: Iowa loss) cuz
                     aside from Scheff aren't as imposing talent-wise as 
                     State's super sophs, who were ranked with Gougetown
     		     and SyrExcuse as best class two years back.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volatire,BobKnight" 14 lines  14-MAR-1990 11:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Good points, Cap.
    
    One other thing is that Feinstein's book is perhaps the only 
    authorized biography in the history of mankind done on a hand shake.
    It's a standard industry practice for the subject to have a contract
    guaranteeing "last look" editorial rights.
    
    Bob made the mistake of forgoing that normal option, cuz he didn't
    know that the hand he was shaking was covered with the scales of
    a unscrupulous future millionaire [best selling sports book ever].
                     
    Bob may as well have opened his kimono to Dan Schneider...
    
    Big10 Tom
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volatire,BobKnight"  8 lines  14-MAR-1990 12:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ACCrook, since you point to Edwards having gone pro early as proof
    that Bob brutalizes his players, then when does Feinstein start
    his book on the Rev. Smif/JR Ried brutality story?
    
    Have him do a piece on Funderburke's high school coach while you're
    at it...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.484         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          484 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 60 lines  14-MAR-1990 13:46
                         -< Minnesota scouting report >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    >how about Minnesota ?
    
    A real enigma in my book (and Spud will agree with me).  They have
    two big guards who're great athletes - 6-5 Melvin Newburn and 6-6
    Kevin Lynch.  Halfway thru the season many, myself included, were
    saying these two were the best on the team.  They were intimidating
    opposing guards cuz not only are they big they're both QUICK.  So,
    you were smaller and usually slower and less experienced and even
    when they weren't hitting the J you lose anyway cuz you cain't run
    your offense.
    
    But, the Gophs have gone from the Big10's best defensive club last
    year to the third worst this year.  Coach Clem Haskins is very upset
    at that, he's also puzzled at his guards' diminished performance
    on offense.  Newburn's never been a great shooter but he's fine
    going to the hoop (he posted up Indiana's 6-3 guard and it was man
    vs. child let's go to school now time).  In the past he's been
    criticized for his defense off the ball.  Sometimes he makes bad
    decisions and ain't a great passer but it seemed he had improved
    on these things.   Lynch's weaknesses seemed to be his confidence
    shooting and his D on the ball.
    
    Well, both had apparently solved these deficiencies until the Michigan
    game.  They've both lost their confidence since then, especially
    Lynch with his outside shot.  The book on the Gophs is that if these
    two show up again they cain beat anybody (I agree with this).
    
    On the front-line you see the magic of coach Clem's strength: The
    man's a genius at teaching rebounding.  He's got two medicocre centers
    in 6-9 Jim Shikenjanski and 7-2 Bob Martin.  Shik gets more work
    and he's more polished.  Martin is like Motombo blocking shots and
    has more potential but is young and gets suckered into stupid fouls
    a lot.
    
    At one forward they have first team All-Big10 6-7 Willie Burton. He's
    a gazelle type who cain shoot the J, even the trey, and cain play
    with the men inside.  I mark him down for disappearing on D and
    running hot and cold (great in the blowouts, invisible man in the
    clutch situations, many say).  He's a potential NBA first rounder,
    though.
    
    At the other forward there's 6-6 Richard Coffey, a 25 year old army
    vet.  He's got a_Adonnis body, and is the consumate team player.
    Not much of a scorer, but an artist on D and at his size managed
    to lead the Big10 in rebounding last year.
    
    First sub is Walter Bond, similar to Coffey but not as skilled. Good
    role player, though.  Much improved under Haskins' tutelage, as
    are all the players.
    
    Gophs staggered into the tourney on the downswing, and have spent
    the week complaining bitterly that Indiana made the tourney and
    that they got a raw deal on their draw (UTEP, then Missouri).  
    
    They're quite dangerous, unpredictable, have holes but Haskins has
    masked them well.  If their big guards play well watch out.
    
    Big10 Tom
                                                                    
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 16 lines  14-MAR-1990 13:54
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    Forgeot to mention on Minnesota:
    
    - Newburn may be the nation's BEST defender at guard ON the ball
      (extremely quick hands).
    
    - They're better in the running game where they cain mask their
      lack of size up front and their big guards cain dominate.
     
    - If one of the big guards gets a mismatch he'll post all day long
      and then they're ok in the half-court game.
                              
    - Seems that if this team gets the big slam-jam they cain bury a
      team; early part of the game very important to them, not a great
      comeback team.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.486         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          486 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  5 lines  14-MAR-1990 13:57
                                -< why oh why? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cain anybody explain to me why the Big10 champs go to the Southeast 
    Regional and play on the coast and the second place team gets to play 
    in the Mecca homeland?
    
    Big10 Tom
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MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  7 lines  14-MAR-1990 14:58
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    I ain't talking 'bout seedings.  The Big10 champ should play in
    the nation's heartland, not some US Navy port o' call.  It's only
    right.  When they deep sixed the MidEast and created the SouthEast
    they shoulda switched the Big10's #1 seed over to the MidWest like
    God intended it to be.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.492         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          492 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"    8 lines  15-MAR-1990 14:57
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    Yes and yes.  
    
    However, on the weighted rankings the Committee had Indiana as far
    from the best coming out of the Big10; State finished the season
    by beating Purdue, and I would assume has a computer power ranking
    as high or higher.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.494         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          494 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"    8 lines  15-MAR-1990 16:42
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    What cain be said on that?
    
    It was a miracle of genius that such a rag-tag group of well
    disciplined overachievers even made it to the Sweet 16.  I predicted
    that they'd get dominated on the inside and get a good stomping
    and I was right on the money.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.495         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          495 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"    6 lines  15-MAR-1990 16:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T, read somewhere in the notesfile that UTEP is 4th in mighty WAC.
    >I must agree now that the IU win was big one, very big.
    
    Well, Charles, since you said that UTEP won the WAC tourney.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.505         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          505 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 46 lines  16-MAR-1990 12:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Anderson was definitely NOT set, but the argument on the last second 
    call was that Smith was cutting diagonally across the lane and then
    suddenly turned left and jumped into Eric's arms.
    
    Didn't matter, though.  I think Cal woulda won going away in OT.
    
    This Hoosier team beat all the teams it was supposed to beat, and
    got beat by all those that they weren't supposed to; Michigan the
    only exception in retrospect definitely a case of them beating
    themselves with ball hogging and sheer disorganization.
    
    These Hoosiers seemed to have a way of doing all the small things
    it takes to lose a tough game: falling behind early, not blocking
    off for big rebounds, missing crucial free throws, getting loose
    balls, missing easy jumpers and even lay ups, making stupid fouls...
    
    We saw most of that yesterday.  Graham fouls a guy forcing up a
    prayer with .6 second remaining in the first half; the front-line
    players not protecting the ball when Cal was scrapping for each
    one, Cheaney missing a raft of 3-7 foot wide open jumpers, they
    didn't get a single loose ball in the last 10 minutes... and when
    it was clutch time they stoked up some good D but went 8 1/2 minutes
    without hitting a jumper.  Even the bad call was a stupid play by
    Anderson - he might be right technically but in that situation you
    don't force a borderline judgement call on the ref (he shoulda gone
    up for the block in such a way that he jumped past him).
    
    Cal deserved to win.  Indiana didn't have the horse; as was seen
    with first Nover and then Lawson proving unable to do the job against
    their studs in the paint, which made Bob respond by going with Eric
    out of position (sigh) at center, and guard Pat Graham at forward.
       
    They need to recruit 1 center and 1 power forward, minimum, if they
    wanna succeed with Anderson and these five blue chip guards they
    have.  As it is, even as these guys develop without some big people
    they'll only evolve into a_Illinois-type squad but without the big
    quick great defensive guards that Gill and Bardo are.
    
    Tom's right, though.  Montross is pretty much committed to Michigan,
    *this* recruiting failure at least Bob cain't be faulted for.  He
    MUST pull a couple of big guys outta the bag.   Somebody.  Maybe if
    the Illini get the Death Penalty we cain pick up Deon.
    
    Big10 Tom
    
    Big
================================================================================
Note 11.519         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          519 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   18 lines  19-MAR-1990 10:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I was deeply disappointed to see the Boilers lose, and was horrified
    to see HOW they lost.  True, there were some very controversial calls 
    down the stretch, and true they all went Texas' way, BUT.  I was
    stunned on the last shot that he didn't simply turn in to the hoop
    and either take the foul or the jam - either was there for the taking.
    Instead, he heads toward the side of the backboard and meekly settles
    for a high bank lay-in.  And at 40 seconds with the ball first they
    go totally disorganized and end up with the best inside percentage
    shooter in history 30-40 feet from the hoop!, not to mention having
    to take a time out simply to get organized enough to take a trey!
    with the lead! and oh by the way totally give up on the big man
    inside.
    
    The sports commentators here are having a field day with Keady's
    clutch coaching.  I'd work that subject myself, but I'm just too
    upset that they choked so bad [sic] once again...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.524         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          524 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   10 lines  19-MAR-1990 10:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Penders is a character, he saw Keady in paroxyms and quipped, "I
    think those refs should be given a limo ride to do our game in the
    regionals."  
    
    After watching the Boilers lose their poise and hand the game over
    to Texas with a series of inexplicable on-court decisions Keady
    now is taking on the patina of a Jimmy BayWhine but without the
    awesome talent.
    
    Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
Note 11.526         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          526 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  39 lines  19-MAR-1990 13:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .523
    
    Yeah, but Schef was jumping up and down and waving his arms 
    frantically for the ball.  Trouble was, by the time they finally 
    noticed him he was deep into the land of trey and he had to
    immediately pass it back off to avoid having it stolen from him.
    
    Whatever the case with Schef, the confusion with 40 seconds to go,
    the 3-point attempt, and Jones' inexpicably timid last second shot
    when he had the jam or the foul for the taking bespeaks a team that
    choked under pressure. 
    
    I like Keady, but he shouldn't be bitching about the refs when it
    was his team coming totally unglued when the hammer came down that
    cost him the loss.  They forgot everything they'd ever been taught
    and went blank when clutch time came.  They started flinching and
    blinking and wincing when they had the lead and the ball and managed
    to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  
    
    That last shot was wierd.  He had the man beat all he had to do
    was leap up to jam it and dare him to foul.  He didn't, the other
    guy didn't, and his meek silly yellow running hopeless high bank
    shot was properly stuffed with impunity.  
    
    I never really doubted Keady until *this* tournament fold job.  The
    last couple of minutes were sad.
    
    Also very very sad was CBS' handling of the broadcast.  Just when
    Fun Time began (four and a half minutes left) they cut away to the
    SyrExcuse game (who gives a sheet?) just in time for a time out,
    then Brent recollecting about all the good games he's seen, then
    the foul shooter stepping to the line again, then another time out,
    then more talk from Brent and Billy, then finally the inevitable
    last few seconds, then back to the Purdue game with 45 seconds left.
             
    I wouldn't have watched the first 95% of the Purdue game had I known
    they were gonna rob me of seeing the stretch drive.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.534         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          534 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 68 lines  20-MAR-1990 15:16
             -< Keady's tone bad but content good on one thing... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re 1
    
    I largely agree with your analysis of Keady, Charles, but even if
    something is said out of frustration doesn't mean it shouldn't be
    said.  Certainly Keady is at a disadvantage compared to most coaches
    he faces outside the conference.  That was clearly documented in
    the build up to the Gopher-UTEP game, when the story of ex-Gopher
    forward and current UTEP star Marion Maxey was told.
    
    Maxey was recruited to the U of M with Melvin Newburn.  Both were
    Prop 48.  Newburn and Maxey both received intensive year-round
    tutoring.  (Btw, one of my closest friends, now a business school
    professor, tutored most of the Gopher hoopsters in math and science
    related subjects, including Newburn.)  
    
    Newburn was able to cling on with a C average in some pud major.  Maxey, 
    who was looking in practice like the widebody stud baseline player the
    Gophers were desperate for, couldn't pass the required courses and
    was flunked out.  
    
    Maxey was immediately signed by UTEP, where he's doing fine academically.
                                                               
    In the UM vs. UTEP game, the Gophers were badly outmanned on the baseline.
     
    Before and even after the game Haskins was moaning about the competitive
    disadavantage, only diff is Clem won and Gene lost. 
    
    Haskins is thinking about setting up a more formal tutoring facility
    along the lines of ones already in place at other Big10 schools. But
    the fack remains that as long as he's at Purdue he's not going to be able
    to recruit the same kinda kids that are seen at the likes of UNLV, LSU
    and a large number of other schools.
                                                 
    Keady wants to win so badly and he might be tempted to move on to
    friendlier environs.  Btw, you keep talking about how he cain't recruit 
    with Indiana and meanwhile Hoosier alums everywhere have been concerned
    for years the IU program has lagged so badly talent-wise.  True, this
    year's class was highly touted - but as always no big people (who are 
    the hardest to recruit).
    
    Most Indiana alums and fans I know are pessimistic about this class
    doing great things.  No center, one forward.  No depth up front. If 
    that's a recipe for dominant recruiting I'm confused.  When I think
    of the dominant talent teams of the current era I think of teams with
    awesome talent and lots of it, no holes, plenty of depth, and always
    at least a couple lock NBA prospects.  Here's my list of the current
    talent programs:
    
    1. Gougetown
    2. Michigan
    3. SyrExcuse 
    4. UNLV
    5. Star Heels
    6. NC Skate
    7. Louisville
    8. Oklahoma
    9. Missouri
    0. Duke
    
    These teams, and some others coming on of late in recruiting (Arizona,
    Ga Tech, Illinois, et al) differ from the other big-time schools
    in that they always seem to have enough front-line depth and raw talent
    to stay at or near Top10 form, with few if any bare bones rebuilding years
    or gaping roster holes.   
    
    Most of them don't share the problem Keady and Haskins share.
                                                  
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.538         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          538 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  9 lines  21-MAR-1990 10:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >We've got players *and* coaches!
    
    Then why do CoachK and Smif' do so awful [sic] in the NCAAs?
             
    Whoops!  Forgot, losing in the regionals is the object.  Somebody
    should tell that to the Big10 coaches, who've won 4 of the last
    10.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.539         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          539 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 20 lines  21-MAR-1990 10:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .536
    
    Whaddya talkin' childs?
    
    By your measure, then, the same cain be said for the Big Least. I
    thought the Big10 would have 3 teams at this point, but Michigan
    clearly didn't have the physical conditioning to stay with LMU's
    heart attack hoops style.
    
    We're the defending champ and last year we had 4 of the Sweet 16
    and half the Final Four.  The Big10 only had one super team this
    year and they were horribly coached (Michigan).  The Big10's raking
    had everything to do with depth and little to do with great squads
    a la SyrExcuse/Gougetown or Oklahoma/Missou.
    
    Btw, Fisher is probably even stupider than BayWhine, and Stompshim
    is the worst offensive coach given the talent ever witnessed (to
    wit: Olympic alchemy).
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.542         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          542 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 17 lines  21-MAR-1990 13:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Keep your jive-bull corked up in that big haid of yours Midnight,
    and look up "co-opting" while yer at it willya.  I root for Michigan
    in all non-conference clashes, Illini too.  No matter how repugnant
    the personalities or incompetent the coaching a win's a win.  
    
    And since when is touting one's status as champion "whining?"
    Bellowing, yes.  Whining, no.  Proclaiming and asserting too.
    
    re 1
    
    Oh I wouldn't say that ACCaught.  Nation's youngest team with gaping
    holes at two front-line postions, just making the tournament was
    a plus.   Remember, now: One needn't be measured so much by early
    round wins when one's Pantheon membership has already been assured
    the old fashioned way, Titles.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.545         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          545 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 58 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >a not-so-hot season followed by a 1st round TKO in the tourney
    >woulda hurt.  ALOT.
     
    I agree wholehearted with all statements in except the factually
    incorrect one above, and the one that I'm "so laid back" on the
    poor recruiting.  I'm very uptight about it, have been for several
    years now.
    
    To answer your question on why the garing paucity of front-line
    talent, here's my theory:
    
    	- Big guys are tougher to recruit
    
    	- Big guys with big talent are relatively rare
    
    	- Big guys with big talent who are genuine scholar-athletes
    	  (e.g., Eric Anderson) are very rare
    
    	- Bob's always been a relatively poor recruiter
    
    	- Bob definitely needs to improve the performance of his recruiters
    	                       
    	- Bob refuses to recruit dumb bunnies, even when they are cat-quick
          6-10 widebodies
    
    	- Bob's competitiveness for the tip-top hard-to-get talent is
    	  curtailed as a result of the sustained negative publicity about 
          him
    
    	- In attempting to recruit any number of blue chip widebodies
     	  from the midwest IU was forced to pull out when competing schools
          offer cash payment
    
    	- Big10 schools in general have tougher incoming academic requirements
          than most other conferences, which exacerbates Bob's unrelated
    	  recruiting weaknesses
                                 
    	- Bob has hurt himself with his old-fashioned notion about limiting
    	  recruiting effort to the three state area, which especially hurt
          when other big-time programs from remote regions moved into
     	  Ohio-Indiana-Illinois several years ago (Bob's remote recruits
    	  have largely been non-blue chip types who had some flukey connection
          to his program)
    
    Yes I agree that coaching is a critical component of college coaching.
    No I've never said otherwise.  No recruiting well is not the goal
    it's only a_interim objective. Yes the goal is to win.  No when a coach 
    dominates at winning conference Titles and National Titles his overall
    coaching ability cain't be seriously questioned.
    
    Btw, you're right on about the "all guards" nature of the recruiting
    class (Cheany will play guard if they ever recruit a big man, even
    if not).  With Bailey coming in, look for some red shirting and
    transfers to take place (possibly Reynolds, Gregg Graham, Lyndon
    Jones, or Leary).
    
    Big10 Tom
             
================================================================================
Note 11.546         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          546 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  4 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Oh, forgot one:
    
    	- Bob coaches in a conference that only gets about half as much
          national TV exposure as the Big East and ACC.
================================================================================
Note 11.557         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          557 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 39 lines  21-MAR-1990 15:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re 1
    
    As one of the few objective analysts in here I must admit that my
    info is dated.  At the beginning of *this* season Vitale and his
    partner (while doing a Big10 game) talked at some length over a_
    on-screen graphic that showed total national television games by
    conference.  The data were apparently based on last season's
    broadcasts.  However, on that graphic the BigE was fully twice as
    much and the ACC nearly so.
    
    re .549
    
    Oh, sorry ACCaught.  I thought you wanted a serious duscussion of
    his recruitng deficiency.  Apparently you don't if you're gonna
    place a_interim objective on a_equal footing with a_ultimate goal.
    People recruit *in order* to win, not for the sheer pleasure of
    fondling star-studded roster sheets - something perhaps hard for
    a Star Heel alum to understand.  
    
    In other words, results is what Bob should be judged by, and on
    that basis he's certainly A+ relative to his peers.  Having
    the most Titles, one of best tourney winning percentages, holding
    tourney records, and being among the all-time leader in tourney
    wins is what we call results.
    
    If one is A+ based on final results any problems he creates for
    himself in the way of interim results cain't possibly be used to
    mark him down.
             
    You're right that his program could be in a decline, however.  '87
    was a coaching feat, but the talent was among the shakiest ever
    for a recent Title team.  '89 was not a bad season, though, not
    when you win the nation's only meaningful big-time conference Title.
    
    And ACCaught, are you in here claiming that Reverend Underachievement
    has never lost a first or second round game?  It seems like you
    are, and I don't believe that's the case.
    
    Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
Note 11.563         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          563 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 40 lines  21-MAR-1990 16:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >high and mighty... attitudes
    
    Quit with the pop psychology boys.  Many, probably most, Big10 fans
    desperately want to see NO post-season redundancy cuz it only takes
    robs the conference schedule of its meaning and therefore excitment.
    
    You cain impute all the deep dark psychological motives on me, Charles,
    Hoot and the gang on this but if a post-season redundancy made any
    kind of sense other than financial I'd be all for it.
    
    >why kids just don't want to go spend 4 years with Bob Knight
    
    False claim.  The vast majority of his "kids" spend a full four
    year tour with him.  Some five even!  [grad students]  Also,
    some kids tranfer cuz of academic problems, lack of playing time,
    or go pro early, but this is true of most big-time programs, especially
    ones with more rigorous academic requirements and state mandates.
    
    Schneid's just blowing hot air on people leaving, and with bad
    hypocritical double standardism breath too.  
    
    >Bob Knight is certainly among the top 5, and perhaps the top in
    >TV-exposed coaches.
    
    There he is posing opinion-as-fack.  Got any backing on this, Schneid?
    
    And False claim AGAIN.  Bob's games are on TV much less than many
    other coaches.  He *may* be among the most exposed Big10 coaches, but 
    he's seen on national TV much less than several other big-time coaches.
    Btw, my backing on this is that he coaches in a conference only half
    as exposed as the ACC and Big East.
    
    With the schedules of ESPN, CBS,and NBC, for example, sitting near
    a Big10 institution I cain see many more games involving Duke, UNC,
    Gougetown, SyrExcuse, Louisville et al than I cain Big10 games.  I KNOW 
    from experience that it's even more lopsided outside the midwest,
    and that's bound to have a_effect on national level recruiting for
    Big10 schools.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.566         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          566 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 18 lines  21-MAR-1990 16:43
             -< Hendry's FACKS buttress MrT's FACKs over disinfo >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: John Hendry's list
       
    WHOA.  Listening to ACCaught and his precious clone I was getting
    the impression that 'Snuffy almost always made the Sweet 16, but 
    that just ain't the case.  
    
    I count at least four first game losses  over the past 15 years
    or so.  And to some real doozies in Penn, Texas A&M and San Fran.
    
    Based on this factual information I take it you guys were only kiddin'
    or hyperbolizing the comparison or something like that and that
    we'll just drop this subject right now...
             
    I don't have the record book with me, but I doubt that Bob has any
    more first game losses over this time period than 'Snuff - and I'm
    DAMNED sure that he's won more Titles [3].
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.576         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          576 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  10 lines  22-MAR-1990 08:16
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    >Some of your reasons were perfectly valid, some were not.  And you
    >missed a few to boot.
     
    Why is it that I rebut each of your fibs, mistakes, and other
    misstatements with detailed fact and theory, point by point; and
    you get away with facile empty fluff like this?  Why bother.  I
    documented several of your fibs over in 25 and dared you to answer
    and you only managed to whine about character assassination.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.582         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          582 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  36 lines  22-MAR-1990 14:18
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    >I believe UNC lost to the Penn team that made the Final Four
    
    Wrong.  And I know how sick this is gonna make ya, JD, but the team
    that stomped Penn in its Final Four appearance... well, I don't
    wanna name names or anything but the initials are H.O.O.S.I.E.R.S.
    
    >Last year 5, this year 7 = 12, average=6, I said 6-7 each year.
    >Average-wise, it is correct.
    
    While your math is correct, your claimed average is quite incorrect.
    This is proved by the FACK that all last week thousands of TV 
    announcers droned on and on and on and on about how the Big10's
    7 was a new record, that it hadn't been done by them or any other
    conference ever before.
    
    Therefore, for you to be correct you might downsize to a 5-6 claim,
    and then your average would be 5.5.
    
    re .575
    
    You people just don't understand it, do ya.  People out here want
    no part of a post-season redundancy cuz it cheapens the regular
    season and saps it of significance for two reasons: 1) Each game,
    even a_early January game, no longer is part of a single champion
    of the midwest and, 2) the current double round-robin format is
    absolutely unequivocally equable.
    
    With the post-season redundancies you quite often have two champs,
    and generally one or two teams benefit from the teams location,
    not to mention having a key player down with injury during the two
    or three days during which the post-season redundancy takes place.
    
    Equating the rest of the NCAA rabble with the Big10 way is like
    equating the NHL to MLB...
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.588         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          588 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  12 lines  22-MAR-1990 14:48
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    >Your "rebuts" are nothing more than rewordings of "I really like
    >Bob" blah blah blah...
    
    This is simply not true.  Take your recently fallen Top 10 claim,
    that's simple fact.  Also fact is your also recently fallen false
    claim that I applied the so-called "simple model" to single year
    conference comparisons.  There are several others documented right
    here in the file (unless you delete them :^), and I'll be happy
    to list these M.U.s of yours if you'd like - the only guarantee
    I would axe is that you own up to them [thankgodalmightyTruthatlast]
    
    MrT
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Note 11.600         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          600 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 12 lines  23-MAR-1990 08:31
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    >cuz MrT said UNC lost to Penn
    
    JD, cain you provide a referenced unexpurgated verbatim quote of
    where I said this?  If you cain't, I'll assume you've read (and
    swallowed hook, line, and sinker) so many of Dan's fetid M.U.s
    that you too are suffering agressive hallucinations.
    
    C'mon now, be RESPONSIBLE.
    
    Haa.
    
    Big10 Tom 
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Note 11.605         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          605 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 18 lines  23-MAR-1990 09:24
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    >MRT CAUGHT IN LIE.
    
    That's simply not true.  Where did I say that I didn't say that?
    
    Cain you QUOTE me on that, ACCaught?  [no]
    
    No, I didn't lie.  I was wrong, I didn't think I had made the "UNC
    beat by Penn statement," but I wasn't exackaly sure and hadn't gone
    back and checked so I left myself a_opening, a_out.
    
    Go over my statement with a fine tooth comb and understand that
    yes JD has taken much face from me here but also that I ain't been
    caught in no Dan-style flat assertion that ends up with the lie
    put to it.
    
    Rat on.  I LUV this note cuz I'm winning so good [sic]  8^o
    
    Big10 Tom 
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Note 11.607         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          607 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 21 lines  23-MAR-1990 10:10
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    >JD, cain you provide a referenced unexpurgated verbatim quote of
    >    ^^^^
    >where I said this?
    
    JD could, and I thank him for the help on this.
    
    >If you cain't
    >^^
    
    *If*.  IF.  If.
    
    >I'll assume
    >     ^^^^^^
    
    Assume.  To guess.  To take for granted in the absence of information
    contradicting a guess. 
                      
    Now, it's unfair hurtful phraseological name-calling to come out
    with "obfuscaTor" when poor MrT's texts were restrained, judicious.
    
    Big10 Tom 
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Note 11.611         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          611 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 21 lines  23-MAR-1990 11:56
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    JD, before you dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the back
    for ferreting out one of MrT's semiannual mistakes, how is it you
    cain say that Ohio State didn't belong in the tournament?
    
    The NCAA had them with one of the two or three toughest schedule
    difficulty factors.  They upset a lotta big time teams during the
    regular season, improved markedly during the season, and stayed
    ahead of the Running Rabble for a large part of the game before
    being worn down over the last 8 minutes.
    
    I cain see all the controversy about Indiana getting in the tourney,
    but Ohio State was a lock by rights.
    
    Should college hoops be like college football, where the pollsters
    ignore schedule difficulty and look at naked W-L numbers?  In gridiron
    that has led towards a trend of cupcake scheduling of late.  Is
    that what you want?  
    
    The Buckeyes deserved to be there and they showed it.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.613         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          613 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 25 lines  23-MAR-1990 12:17
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    I don't see where your argument makes any sense.  The best teams
    should go, if that means the entirity of any year's top few conferences
    (very unlikely) then they should go.
    
    Everybody likes to point to the upsets but fail to mention that
    these same teams got stomped by ones whom they dispaced in the
    tournament cuz they hail from a bum conference.
    
    re WardleVane
    
    Nyah shaddap willya.  The only conference to've been shown to have
    been overrated was the Big8.  The Big10 seldom had any presence
    in the top 5 over the latter part of the season.  The conference
    was ranked for its overall depth, everybody here in the midwest
    understood that there was only one super team, Michigan, and that
    they are among the worst coached teams in the History of Man.
    
    That said (and boy is it all so so true), for those of us who don't
    covet Excellent Losses may I say that if Michigan State places into
    the Final Four and the BigE and Almost Close don't show then it's
    what we prosecuting attorneys refer to as "recantation time."
    
    Be ready now.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.620         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          620 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna must be CAUGHT!"    27 lines  23-MAR-1990 14:42
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    They didn't goof, Charles, they pulled the now expected "Gene Keady
    Choke."  Nicely coached team otherwise, though.  I'd say, talent
    wise, Purdue was about fourth best in the league (with Mich, MSU,
    and Ill ahead of them).
    
    Tired, Glenn?  Well, perk up!  Fact is the Big10 was remarkable
    for its depth but little else.  Michigan coulda played on a Gougetown
    UNLV GaTech type level, but they work very hard to lose.  
    
    re: Sports Skinhaids
    
    Don't go off now, Dan.  The fack is you've been caught foisting
    fake fack several times the past two weeks.  Sure, it's your fault,
    but nothing to get testy about.  We're STILL waiting for you to
    rebut the rebuttals, or simply make retractions.  Try as you might,
    we'll not be bullied by you out of our God-given rights to correct
    disinformation and heckle the irrationalist propagandists behind
    it [you].
    
    Btw, I'll be happy to answer your question on how last year's Big10
    no-post-season-redundancy champ coulda been the 4th or 5th best.
    
    But not until you FINALLY rebut the rebuttals.  Fack is, Dan, that
    on this Bob thing you've blown hot n' bold, and have taken a stone
    ass-kicking on Fact and Truth and Reason.  [thankyouMr.Cappel :^]
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.622         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          622 of 759
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna must be CAUGHT!"    23 lines  23-MAR-1990 15:17
                            -< your starter kit... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >My facts are all facts, and are all verifiable
    
    - Jay Edwards did NOT have his scholarship reinstated "when basketball
      season rolled around"
    
    - I NEVER applied my "simple model" to single year conference comparisons
      as you claim (i.e., there are 19 possible winners in my model, not 
      one, as you falsely claim)
    
    - Dean Smif' does NOT have a higher NCAA winning percentage, as you claim
                            
    - No evidence exists that Bob has significantly more first game tourney
      losses than Reverend Underachievement, as you claim 
    
    This is just a starter kit.  You've wandered into the never-never land
    of Fantastic Assertion on this subject in a number of other areas
    also enumerated by me in a_earlier note.  You falsely claim that
    these rebuttals are attacks, but fack is they're only fack.  Simple
    facks, which you're too skeert to address.
             
    Irrationality breds fetid fake facks.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.645         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          645 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 16 lines  30-MAR-1990 11:54
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    That's a mighty fine report there, Charles.  But Dan proved last
    year that what counts in a school is the "future business contacts"
    and spouses one finds in a school, which of course means going to
    a private school with the proper socio-demographic profiles.
    
    I used to be around a_AKC dog raising kennel, and dammit, I've seen
    people hand over $15K a year to get the proper credentials, so it's
    a viable argument he makes.  
    
    I salute your report, I salute Dan's classist manifesto, but most
    of all I'd like to take this opportunity to salute the Running Rabble
    from that august institution of higher learning, UNLV. 
    
    Surely there's no possible connection.
    
    MrT
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Note 11.670         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          670 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         39 lines   4-APR-1990 10:31
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    >few... *unbiased* Indiana observers...
    
    You called?
    
    Sheridan cain pick whatever he wants, obviously he's betting heavily
    on Bob's development of the squad.  I saw Damon on TV for the first
    time last night and his body at this point looks ready for the NBA,
    or NFL.  Strong.  But, this is a team loaded with world-class guard
    prospects that's short 2 big guys.  Sheridan must be looking for Bob,
    always a flexible coach, to go with the running game to make the
    3 guard lineup work for them.
                    
    As for the ratings of last year's crop, they were upgraded from
    about sixth best to best after Funderburke signed, so, after his
    unsurprising departure, one would have to say they had a top 6 crop
    that happened to be all guards. 
    
    The only big man Bob is working is for next year's signing period,
    one Alan Henderson, considered the nation's best high school junior
    this year.  6-9, explosive, cain sky, and loves Bob.
                                
    Alan smoke UNC recruit Eric Montross twice, holding him scoreless
    and with few rebounds in one big game.  Totally dominated him.
    
    Without Funderburke's return (he's back in Bloomington and rumors
    are hot that he wants back in) I see Indiana as a preseason 3rd place 
    Big10 pick, behind State and Michigan - although the Buckeyes could
    turn out better.   
             
    re: WardleVane and JD
    
    Neener neener you weiners, but fax is fax fand the simple fack is
    that they were the fourth highest ranked of the conference schools
    going into last year's tourney, and were picked seventh in the Big10
    preseason.  Still waiting: show me any Sweet 16 team with three
    grad students, one a 6-2 white guy playing forward.  Fermez tes
    bouches, merde !!
    
    Big10 Tom      
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Note 11.674         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          674 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         21 lines   4-APR-1990 11:57
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    Funderburke is back in Bloomington.  Dunno if he's enrolled but
    he's been hooping it up on one of the HPER bulding's 17 full courts.
    There are rumors that he's re-enrolled, that he plans to return
    to the squad, who knows?  Even if he *did* want back in it would
    be a_open question whether Bob'd take him.  He's sacraficed winning
    percentage in the name of Principle many times before (Giomi, Tommy
    Baker, Jay Edwards, et al) so even with his dire need for a big man
    he's capable of turning a much-needed star down again.
                                                           
    I dunno, despite the innaccuracies spouted by JD and 'Vane, it was
    *I* who input all the plaudits on last year's crop; and I see Indiana
    as a quality young team with big holes to fill.  It's silly to project
    them as #1 in the conference let alone the nation.  Right now assuming
    no recruits this year besides Damon I see them as a 20-25 type team
    with a strong possiblity to move up into the lower top 10 or high
    teens.  
    
    If Randy Ayers recruits well the Buckeyes could come on strong, they
    have the league's best player in Jim Jackson...
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.680         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          680 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         19 lines   4-APR-1990 12:38
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    >Lower expectations spin control
     
    Wrong way ACConfessed.  It was *I* who entered all the crop plaudits.
    Let's call it "truth control" and be done with it.
    
    >Knight has a proven track record that when the cupboards bare,
    >principle cain be sacrificed.
    
    Of course you understand that quite the opposite is true, that Bob
    made his own cupboard bare by banishing his eligible star, a_example
    of principle over winning percentage perhaps unprecendented to big-time
    college hoops.
    
    I've never heard of a_eligible star taking out a loan to pay his
    own way in order to get a shot at making the roster.  Have you?
    
    Big10 Tom
     
    
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Note 11.681         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          681 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         41 lines   4-APR-1990 12:49
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    >what in the world to [sic] "grad" students have to do with hoops?
    
    Well Jim, y'see, back in the days before full-scale university
    entertainment divisions and billion dollar TV contracts these 
    institutions used to exist for teaching young men and women a variety
    of academic subjects.  Granted, in these daze of Payola Moneycount
    U. and the Running Rabble this is a quaint and outmoded idea.
             
    Where we're coming from here is performing well against this academics
    thing as a handicap against, say, a UNLV.
    
    I agree with ya, now that the five tigers have pretty much wrapped
    up this industrial economy thing Service Economy is the way to go.
    
    The best part of the weekend for me, my field of creams if you will,
    was the interivew done by the brains of the Running Rabble squad.
    Forget his name, but the nation was agog with admiration that here
    you have a college basketball player... and yet... he was able to
    pass the test and get a Real Estate license!
    
    Haaa.
            
    Maybe he'll get one of those date appearances with a Huxtable girl
    for being such a learn scholar.  ha ha hoo heee.
    
    And then he sits there, proud comprture, dignity all about him,
    doing the traditional "the press and NCAA are out to get us" routine,
    whining and moaning about how it was incumbent on us to "prove"
    that the Running Rabble aren't a bunch of gentlement scholar-athletes.
    
    Haaa.  *Well*, Mr. Brainy, I'll not put a glove a fellow who was smart
    enough to rate a real estate license, but WHAT ABOUT THE UMPAID
    HOTEL BILLS YOU NIMROD.  AND, HEY DUFUS-FACE, WHAT ABOUT THE RIOTS,
    THE POLICE RECORDS.                             
    
    You're right, Jimbo.  The Big10's behind the times.  
    
    As I said before, I think all revenue producing college sports should
    be legislatively removed from any association with the instiutions.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.684         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          684 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          21 lines   4-APR-1990 14:29
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    re .683
    
    Ah shaddap with your censorious bellyaching willya.  As long as
    these false claim artists keep baiting me I'll keep debunking their
    bull, whether you like it or not I could give a squat. 
             
    If you don't like it either use your N.U. button or just stay out
    you whiner moaner woaner you, Mr. Negativity.
    
    >Yes , and it was you who quickly backtracked when the losses
    >started piling up...
    
    False claim.  I started backtracking when I saw them against 
    Michigan, when I saw how short and skinny they were.
    
    >... claiming that poor Bob didn't have any big guys.
    
    Well, after Funderburke departed, they didn't (unless you count
    the shooting forward at center, Eric's 6-9).
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.685         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          685 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          15 lines   4-APR-1990 15:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >It's psychological warfare the Koreans would be proud of.
    >
    >YUCK.
    
    No wait a minute here.  Are you saying that Bob is the only coach
    in the country who yells at his players? 
    
    Your flawed analogy between Funderburke and Edwards ignores the
    facts that 1. One got thrown off the team and the other left and,
    2. One paid cash out of his own pocket to return to the alleged
    torture chamber, and the other is now apparently trying to get back
    in also, which doesn't do a lot for your specious argument.
    
    Big10 Tom
             
================================================================================
Note 11.699         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          699 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          40 lines   5-APR-1990 10:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .686
    
    You miss my point, Bob Hunt.  If you don't like something then be
    man enough to shut up and hit the N.U. key like we courteous folk
    do.  You're a hypocrite to talk about valuing differences when each
    time you see something you don't like you choose to get personal
    about it.  I write sports; you write neighbors.  That's the diff
    between me as a noter and you as a_immature person running a lowbrow
    mistaken public vendetta (mistaken cuz you're wrong most of the
    time as far as the lowbrow censorious points you attempt to make).
    
    For instance, this latest iteration of the Bob-UnderAchievementFace
    debate is the direct result of two weeks of juciy bait set by ol'
    ACConfessed.  Go complain to him over in 25 if you decide you don't
    want this; don't clog our little Mecca here with your personal-level
    junk notes willya.  
    
    Also, understand, I don't want your respect; I want you to quit
    with the whiney moany woany obtrusions and discover the magic of
    gentlemanly courteousness and the N.U. key.
    
    re: ACCaught's flawed analogy.
    
    It's clearly flawed cuz Bob gave Jay his unconditional release when
    he threw him off the team for poor study habits and postitive
    unconstiutional drug test results, as he has similarly given releases
    to others in the past (e.g., Tommy Baker, Mike Miday, Mike Giomi,
    Delray Brooks,Rickey Calloway, etc.).  
    
    You've been reading too many Dan M.U.s, Caught, for you now tend
    to sound more self-assured the more Established Fact stares you
    in the face.
    
    Btw, I've been absent somewhat and must've missed your retraction
    about 'Snuff being "more consistent" in the NCAAs than Bob.  Could
    you post the note number please so I cain enjoy this fine note that
    certainly must be in here somewheres [sic]?
    
    Big10 Tom
             
================================================================================
Note 11.701         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          701 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          33 lines   5-APR-1990 10:34
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    re .695 .697 .698
           
    Charles, you're not well positioned at all for overachieving; have
    you ALREADY forgotten what a choke artist Gene is?  Did you wipe
    out of your mind the way they had the game won and then went unravelled
    with tentative play and gagged on the Big Fishbone?
    
    As for you, JD, no you "didn't make up" the part from the paper;
    what you persistently fabricate is the mistaken impression that
    I've poor mouthed the Hoosier roster.  I established factually many
    times over that the sports polls and Big10 coaches held a similarly
    low opinion of IU's talent level in '88-'89.  After all, how many
    slow 6-2 white guy grad students have you seen win a major conference
    Title and then in the Sweet 16?  [none]
    
    Bob's recruiting class last year was called by one talent scout
    his best ever.  I hoped he was right and published all his accolades
    and others.  Having seen them I'd say the class was well above average
    for Bob but all guards.  A_informed fair-minded ranking at this
    point (and it's early still) would say that last year's crop was
    only Bob's third best, with the Isiah/Landon/Tolbert class the best
    and the Benson/May/Buckner/Wilkerson class the second best.
    
    With Damon coming in one thing's for sure: Some guards are gonna
    have to transfer.  There are simply too many quality short guys to make
    for enough PT, even with the 3 guard lineup.  
    
    re: Patrick Knight
    
    I'm told that he's a solid small college type player but not big-time
    hoops material.
                   
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.703         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          703 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          27 lines   5-APR-1990 11:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >as far as I know a sports discussion ain't off limits in a SPORTS
    >conference.  Sheesh.
     
    Haven't you been paying attention to the obtrusive Bob Hunt?  PAY
    ATTENTION TO THINE MASTER WILLYA.
    
    >>It's clearly flawed.
    
    >No it's not.  It's clarly accurate
     
    The Funderburke/Edwards analogy flies in the face of fact on all
    levels.  You implied that Bob is in the habit of generally not
    releasing players, and specifically that he didn't give Edwards
    his release.
    
    Factual Reality tells us that Bob gave Edwards his release, and
    has given every player his release except Funderburke, who didn't
    deserve to be released.  Bob took his commitment at face value and
    declined another big man prospect.  Funderburke, who was thrown
    off his high school team despite being a first team all-America,
    reneged his commitement and Bob responded within the published NCAA
    rules.
    
    You seldom let this Factual Reality thing get in your way, do ya
    ACCaught?
    
    Big10 Tom 
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Note 11.716         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          716 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          26 lines   5-APR-1990 14:01
                                  -< flinch >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I say yes.
                             
    Which amounts to pure speculation only.
    
    And I also say "thank you" so much for dropping your false analogy 
    between Funderburke and Edwards now that you've been corrected on
    Edwards not being given his release. 
    
    How Bob needed to "save face" for having suspended his star on high
    principle is beyond me, but you grew up in a state where they wrist
    slap rioters and negotiate with sleaze-bags so I'm sure you have
    a better feel for principle than me.
    
    re Keady
    
    The choke knock has been on Mene Gene the past five years, I only
    hopped the bandwagon after witnessing this latest inexplicable 
    Boiler unravelling under pressure.  They have the ball and a two
    point lead with 40 seconds to go and they fell apart, Keady included.
    I saw it.  
    
    The first few times, ok.  But this last one certainly puts Mene
    Gene in the choker class with HitSome, 'Snuff, Stomper, CoachK, and 
    all the others in that regrettable pantheon, IMNSHO.
    
    Big10 Tom (who winced at Gene's performance that day :^) 
================================================================================
Note 11.720         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          720 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 16 lines   5-APR-1990 14:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >He didn't need to "save face" for the suspension but the reinstatement
    
    I understood that that's what you meant.  What I don't understand
    is why a coach need save face for taking a_eligible star back after
    having made amends on his three infractions and on his own dime
    for a semester (cain you say "unprecedented").  
    
    Now why would he need save face given these facts?  Bob said the
    day he kicked him off the team that he needed him badly and hoped
    like hell that he'd straighten up and fly right, so his motives
    were never in question on the deal.  How could they be given the
    courageously principled and highly unusual stand he took?
    
    Btw, you're in a tailspin over in 25 bud.         
    
    Big10 Tom                                
================================================================================
Note 11.722         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          722 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 13 lines   6-APR-1990 08:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Two years in a row, two different coaches.  He's been lucky so far,
    first with a Catholic prep school (I think) and then with Bob, both
    places where priorities have been forced upon him.
    
    Now, if he ends up in the clutches of a coach-educator like, say,
    Tark or Jim Vulvano or "coach" John Stompshim ("this nation MUST
    lower academic standards to accomodate black folk!") he could end
    up hanging out on a street corner in five years or so.
    
    Good luck, ThunderBurp.  You're gonna need it.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.724         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          724 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst"   1 line   6-APR-1990 09:36
             -< fantasizing again, ACCaught?  You're good at it. >-
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Note 11.728         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          728 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          10 lines   6-APR-1990 14:11
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    As a victim of Caught's imagination in that fake contest he's 
    since  ACConfessed to running, you of all people mike I would 
    expect to be wary of his flights of fancy.
    
    I'll accept .723 as nothing more than a wishful hallucination.
    
    I could do a similar passion play, maybe something using a table 
    spoon, a 10 lb. sack of flour and Walter Davis maybe?
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
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Note 11.730         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          730 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 28 lines   9-APR-1990 08:18
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    Nyah quit with the poor mouthing willya, Charles?
    
    That only works when you've dominated where it counts, which means
    having the most shiny "NCAA Men's Basketball Champions" trophies on
    the shelf.
    
    Let's forget about what you hope to see coming to West Lafayette and
    concentrate on what we hope we DON'T see.  For me, I was mortified
    as a Big10 Fan at Mene Gene's wretched coaching performance the last
    2 minutes against Texas.  The deep level of embarrassment was only
    made possible by the previous fishbone jobs his teams have taken.  The
    Boils had as much talent as Texas; what they seemed to be lacking 
    was guts.
    
    Mebbe listening to Mene Gene whine all year long soured them on the 
    courage thing, I dunno.  But I *do* know that never again do I want
    to be forced to avert my eyes from certain victory turned into a 
    cheap suit coming apart.
    
    Sorry, you know I'm loathe to critique Purdue.  But, a friendly
    suggestion: The next time Mene Gene claims he's gonna leave maybe
    you alums cain take out a full page ad in the local paper encouraging
    him.
    
    Many benefits would accrue.  For instance, Mrs. Keady would no longer
    be living in town.
    
    Big10 Tom         
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Note 11.733         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          733 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 26 lines   9-APR-1990 09:10
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    Trying to put a skeer into me, Ross?
    
    I saw clips of the game, maybe a minute total.  He looked pretty
    good on those but I suppose those were his best moments.  What is
    it you're trying to say, that he's not that good?  That he's not
    blessed with athletic ability?  I hope this ain't so, cuz we've 
    already got a slow no-jump kinda guy in Pat Graham and that's 
    enough for any team in this era.
    
    On the other hand, if he *is* any good look for Bob to debut his
    4-guard lineup.  Could be dangerous if they hit from the land of 
    trey.
    
    >I forget, MrT... What was Indiana's record against Purdue this 
    >year?
    
    Hmmm.  As of this year I believe 5-0, know what I mean?  Also, our
    record's clean as far as fishbone jobs.  '87 proved that we slip
    them in the gullets of others, and don't gag-croak like that 
    collapsable coach in W. Lafayette.  
    
    Doug, you're not talking about the haid-to-haid games this past
    year are ya?  Wouldn't that be cheap of you, given that this was
    the youngest Hoosier squad ever going up against a vet Boiler squad?
    
    Big10 Tom                                                           
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Note 11.736         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          736 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 29 lines   9-APR-1990 11:36
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    >And is/was as good as Scheffler, so it must be the coaching that made
    >the difference.
    
    Sorry, but I'm afraid comparing Mene Gene to Bob ain't allowed: One's
    already done it all, the other guy, who's about the same age, has
    shamed the Big10 with his fishbone artistry.  If only he went as punk
    in the big conference games as he always does in the tourney...
    
    Btw, I consider Eric superior to Scheff myself; but one was a soph
    playing out of position on a team of frosh, the other was a senior
    playing on a veteran team. 
    
    Maybe that had something to do with it.  [5-0]
    
    re: Bailey
    
    I'm sorry to hear he's not that quick, but I'm even sorrier to hear
    about the slow jump.  Matt Nover holds the state high school high jump
    record, a_impressive feet [sic] at 6-7 in height, but he's the slowest
    jumper I've ever seen.  At the Wisconsin game in Mad City several times
    he had position against Danny Jones and Patrick Tompkins but didn't
    even leave the floor cuz by the time he was ready to go up the other
    guy was already coming down with the ball.
    
    We'll see about Damon next winter.  It's scary that Bob ain't gonna
    sign any kind a big man.  They'll be hurting for certain; they'll be
    ain't in the paint.
             
    Big10 Tom          
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Note 11.739         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          739 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 22 lines  10-APR-1990 08:02
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    It's *especially* pathetic to see the Gopher fans coming 'round to
    collect their paltry dog bones this year.  As with a solar eclipse,
    every nine years the tidal forces of recruiting, random incidence,
    and just plain luck align themselves such that the Golden Goofs cain
    actually swell their chests (at long last) at Hoosier expense.
    
    One team at its apogee, the other the youngest seen anywhere and he's
    doing a Tarzan bongo thing.  Well, now it's back to the Long View guys
    and I *know* you cain count.  Something else you cain count, on, is
    that things are coming my way now - center or no center - given that 
    while you two bone gnawers have graduated everybody my boys have just
    emerged from 1st grade at Academie du Bob.
    
    Let us keep things in perspective as the Golden Goofs themselves
    managed to do: After their first victory over the Hoosiers the players
    openly wept, standing at courtside for several minutes in stunned 
    ecstatic disbelief.  After their close win in Bloomington the coach
    himself, a 47 year old man, broke down in tears of joy.
    
    Thank you for the compliment, cryababies.  8^o
    
    Big10 UltraBigot Tom
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Note 11.741         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          741 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 22 lines  10-APR-1990 09:15
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    Speaking a exaggeration [sic], while you say that the Goofs far
    exceeded anybody's expectations, it remains that they were chosen
    by everybody to finish in the top 3 in the Big10 (they failed that
    expectation by finishing, what, 4th) and finished to win the conference
    by a few.
    
    As for your *other* exaggeration [sic], it also stands that there could
    be as many as 3 NBA players graduating this year (Burton's a 1st
    rounder, Newburn a 2nd rounder, and NBA scouts say that Coffey could 
    end up as a role player somewhere); and that Kevin Lynch is projected
    by some as a 1st rounder in next years draft.
    
    No-names and non-recruits?  Then why did Willie play opposite of
    Derrick Coleman on the Michigan All-State team?  Huh?
    
    Compare and contrast that with the fortunes of my '87 Title team, where
    the only guy to make it was Alford, and the only reason they keep him
    around is cuz they paid him so much bonus money.
    
    Haa.  Ain't life beautiful.  Cain you spell c-o-a-c-h-i-n-g ?
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.743         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          743 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 23 lines  10-APR-1990 10:51
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    >IU underacheived [sic] this year
    
    Whoa Nelly!
    
    I'd say that this year was a nice follow-on to last year's stroke
    of coaching genius.  Here a team that ended up starting four frosh
    and one soph melded of necessity into a 3-guard lineup for lack of 
    big men, and they *still* made the tourney and lost a close one to 
    the Pac10's, what?, second place finisher.
    
    Granted, that's not quite the spectacular all-time OVERachievement
    accomplishment that '88-'89 was, but it was certainly heartening and
    pride-swelling for me and all other Hoosiers.
    
    And I didn't "drag down" what you call the Golden Goofers' "excellent
    year" (they fell short of predictions in the Big10).  All I said was
    "thank you very much" for as a team bursting into tears at discovering
    that, this year at least, they actually belonged on the same court as 
    the Hoosier club.
    
    Big10 Tom
    
    
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Note 11.746         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          746 of 759
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           38 lines  10-APR-1990 13:24
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    >You are first person [sic] I've heard say there are three candidates
    >from this team to the NBA.
    
    Not me.  I said four:
    
    	1. Burton
    	2. Lynch
    	3. Newburn
    	4. Coffey
    
    Patrick Reusse at one point claimed there were three potential first
    rounders on the squad.
    
    >NOWHERE did I ever see the Gophers were projected to finish in the 
    >top 3 all year.
    
    Most prognostications had the Goofs finishing 3rd behind Michigan and
    Illinois respectively.  Turned out everybody forgot about State's 
    top recruiting class two years earlier and that they'd had so many
    injuries as freshmen, but generally the Goofs were projected at 3rd.
    
    One prognosticator who had them higher was Clem Haskins, who at one
    point predicted his team would go undefeated during the second half of
    the double round robin.   
    
    They were a team dominated by seniors, a team loaded with NBA prospects,
    and they managed only 4th in the league.  Shamelessly, they immediately
    came back with a bunch of bull about how nobody ever expected this team
    to "ever" have a winning season again, and that their 4th place finish
    was a miracle unto itself.
    
    Self-poor-mouthing.  Imagine that.  And now, in the longstanding rich
    Minnesota hoops tradition, they'll place several players in the NBA and
    everybody'll axe, "why don't they ever win Titles?"
    
    Good question.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.749         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          749 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             41 lines  12-APR-1990 08:22
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    HAAAAA HAA HA HA EEEEEEEEEEEEE HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
    
    Cap, I tip my cap to you and your find research capabilities.  
    Your bullet proof logic and integrity also are admired from this
    fine quarter.
    
    It reminds me of a relationship in the Little Rascals.  One guy
    (me) gets on all fours behind the Bad Guy, and the other (you) comes
    along and with a feather touch sends the heel (in this case Spud)
    tumbling head over heel (pun fully intended) to the floor.
    
    Poor mouthing the basketball goofs has blossomed under Clem into a 
    full-bore industry up here.  Clem said in the paper during the tourney
    that "nobody expected this team ever to win, nobody, and now here we
    are in the Sweet 16 two years in a row."
    
    Clem conveniently forgets that the Goofs had been somewhat of a hoops
    powerhouse before they came unravelled under Jim lip-twitch Dutcher's
    amoral guidance.  Fact is, when Clem came aboard everybody fully
    expected to see the Gophs back in contention for the Big10 Title within
    a few years, which Clem managed.
    
    The Gophs were picked 2nd by quite a few prognosticators who were smart
    enough to see that Illinois had lost its front-line.
    
    In Clem's favor, though, is that these same people (myself included)
    had forgotten about State's great recruiting class and the injuries
    that had ravaged them as freshmen (although in the tourney this year
    with a healthy Manns I think State woulda blown Tech off the floor).
    
    Clem did a good job in the Big10 this year, but not great (too unsteady 
    on the road to use the word great).  
     
    In the tourney, it must be admitted that Minnesota has been extremely
    lucky two years in a row now, but they did play a far superior Tech
    team tough.
    
    I just wish Clem wouldn't exaggerate so much, even a smart guy like
    Spud here's falling for it!
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 11.750         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          750 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             11 lines  16-APR-1990 09:03
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    Well, Spud?  No retraction?  Not even a_abject apology?
    
    Going back to the Poormouth Patrol, Willie Burton, who starred for
    the Golden Goofs (a team no one, not a soul, though would ever win
    another game for its total and unmitigated lack of talent) was named
    MVP of the recently completed NBA scouting camp held in Orlando and
    is widely considered to be a lock lottery selection.
    
    Now ain't that sumpin.
    
    Big10 Tom             
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Note 11.753         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          753 of 759
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           10 lines  17-APR-1990 11:14
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    >Dean Smith is GOD.
    
    While I *did* know that God was highly publicized, I am very sorry
    to learn that he's also a choke artist and a squanderer of human
    resources.
    
    Does this mean the world's gonna end, and not with a bang but a 
    whimper?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.757         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          757 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             14 lines  19-APR-1990 08:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Bobby Knight is GOD.
    
    Or dagblamed close to being one.  But, let's be reasonable, he's 
    human and that means he's but a_imperfect image of God.
    
    Like they say [sic], nobody's perfect.
    
    re: False Gods & Craven Images
    
    The Celestial Congress granted exclusions to Louisiana, North Carolina,
    South Carolina, and Virginia.  There, it's anything goes except fraud
    and racketeering, where the feds'll do a_occasional bust.
    
     Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 11.758         The New Official BIG TEN Basketball Note          758 of 759
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              10 lines  25-APR-1990 10:02
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    What with their #1 recruiting class going into their junior year
    and this year's top Big10 crop, Michigan State looks like they
    might nudge aside Michigan and Illinois as the top hoops program.
    
    I like that.  The Illini alums are human, but as anybody from the
    midwest surely knows these Go Blue people are simply unbearable...
    
    ... and utterly embarrassing every January 1 in Pasadena, too!
    
    Big10 Tom 

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Note 12.5            The New Official BIG TEN Football Note              5 of 22
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "who'll keep Smif' company w/o Bo" 2 lines  15-DEC-1989 14:54
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Note 12.7            The New Official BIG TEN Football Note              7 of 22
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Congrats & good riddance, Bo"    2 lines  29-DEC-1989 08:53
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Note 12.11           The New Official BIG TEN Football Note             11 of 22
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "What a BUM Bo was, loser, GEEK"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 09:15
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Note 12.13           The New Official BIG TEN Football Note             13 of 22
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "USC and Auburn are cupcakes?!"     2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:02
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Note 12.16           The New Official BIG TEN Football Note             16 of 22
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "your 90% canard summed all games"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:25
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Note 12.19           The New Official BIG TEN Football Note             19 of 22
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "THREE. 3 pristine victories."      2 lines   4-JAN-1990 15:29
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Note 15.12        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         12 of 100
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Michigan is #1 in Big10 academic" 2 lines  15-DEC-1989 15:14
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Note 15.25        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         25 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "re .23 UWisc > NU in academics"  2 lines  22-DEC-1989 10:13
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Note 15.26        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         26 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "PSU chose Big10 over BigEast HA" 2 lines  22-DEC-1989 10:16
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Note 15.30        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         30 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "re .28, PSU joined for hoops"    2 lines  28-DEC-1989 09:25
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Note 15.32        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         32 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "PSU passed on the ACC, too. HA"  2 lines  28-DEC-1989 09:47
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Note 15.41        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         41 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10 must DROP Rose, no Titles" 2 lines  29-DEC-1989 08:50
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Note 15.44        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         44 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Rose annual Pac10 home game.."   2 lines  29-DEC-1989 09:57
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Note 15.46        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         46 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10 does FINE in nonRoseBowls" 2 lines  29-DEC-1989 10:56
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Note 15.75        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         75 of 100
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "take 68,70 to PSU snubs ACC note" 2 lines   3-JAN-1990 14:11
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Note 15.83        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         83 of 100
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            9 lines  10-APR-1990 13:35
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    Miami will fit in perfectly with the ACC.  Much as Penn State will
    in the Big10.
    
    I'm so proud that Penn State chose the Big10.  It corroborated what
    I and people like me had been saying all along.  
    
    Likewise, I'll be very VERY pleased if Miami joins the ACC...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 15.93        Penn State joins Big Ten !!??  BIG ELEVEN ??         93 of 100
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              48 lines  23-APR-1990 10:18
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    I agree that the Big10 has handled this thing poorly.  They shoulda
    either had a consensus on this or kept their mouths shut.  But to
    understand this bungling one must understand Big10 politics.  The
    Council of Ten, the university presidents, has been in a leadership
    position on the fast-dying notion that major universities exist for
    national survival and not to operate entertainment divisions.  There 
    has been a growing strain between the Council and their ADs.  The Council 
    felt the need to ramrod PSU's entry without any AD involvement in order 
    to assert their rightful primacy.
    
    The complaint on PSU's location is a red herring.  It's not a good 
    location compared to, say, South Bend, Indiana, but the additional
    expense of small planes for the minor sports instead of buses is no
    big deal given the billion dollar TV deals going down.  Sure, the
    big-time coaches wold rather have that cash to themselves, but PSU is
    very do-able as a Big10 locale.  
    
    Hell, next to Bloomington it'd be the most beautiful locale in the
    league.
    
    >what in the h*ll is close to Bloomington.
    
    Well, for staters the international airport in Indy's southwest suburbs
    is about a 45 minute drive from the football stadium.
    
    >Minnesota... to Penn State... 10 hour bus ride...
    
    Riding a bus, from Minneapolis' West Bank to Chicago is about 7-8
    hours.  From there, I'd estimate another 8 hours to College Station
    for a total bus ride of 15-16 hours.
    
    Y'see, Minnesota is in the middle of nowhere every bit as much as 
    PSU.
    
    This squabble is about the football/basketball coaches hanging onto
    their big-time $$$ and not having to charter dozens of small planes
    for the small-time sports.  That's all.  
    
    Well, mebbe also Michigan is scared shirtless that finally somebody's
    gonna come along and teach them that recruiting and wasting all those
    studs from Ohio and then choking annually on national TV ain't gonna
    cut it no more.
    
    The Council of Ten must not back down on this.  They should bring in
    Penn State and one other quality institution and give birth to the 
    Big12. 
          
    Big10 Tom

================================================================================
Note 17.118          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           118 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from yesterday's paper"   19 lines  18-JAN-1990 10:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
			BIG TEN'S NO. 1

The latest computer basketball ranking of the top conferences by Jeff 
Sagarin, whose information is used by the NCAA in assembling its 64-team 
tournament field:

1.  Big Ten 		85.80 points
2.  Big Eight 		85.28
3.  Atlantic Coast	84.42
4.  Big East		83.14
5.  Pacific-10		79.96
6.  Southeastern	79.90
7.  Big West		78.49
8.  Metro		78.37
9.  Western Athletic	77.47
10. Mid-American	76.15
11. Missouri Valley	75.39
12. American South	74.71
13. Mid-Continent	73.58
================================================================================
Note 17.120          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           120 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "objective enough for the NCAA"   2 lines  18-JAN-1990 12:35
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Note 17.121          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           121 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from today's paper"        5 lines  18-JAN-1990 13:47
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    Alan Greenberg of the Hartford Courant on Syracuse basketball coach
    Jim Boeheim:
    
    	"There is a new video out in the Syracuse stores: Jim Boeheim
     	 on basketball.  What is next, Pia Zadora on acting?"
================================================================================
Note 17.131          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           131 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 28 lines  19-JAN-1990 11:29
               -< was Big East dealt death blow by Big10 move? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
		EAST COAST SCHOOLS ALL SHOOK UP

Penn State's admission to the Big Ten has set off a series of aftershocks
that could change the look of basketball on the East Coast.

Big East members Syracuse, Pittsburgh and Boston College are concerned 
about their future as football independents without Penn State.  Officials
from those three schools have had discussions with Miami, Florida State,
South Carolina, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Temple and Rutgers about
forming an all-sports league.  Boston College Athletic Director Bill Flynn
told reporters at last week's NCAA convention that his school was looking 
for a football-only conference, and was happy with its Big East basketball
affiliation.

But Syracuse AD Jack Crouthamel sounded less certain about the Big East's 
future.  "Syracuse has options to consider," he said.  "It will take the 
right mixutures of schools and the right impetus for this thing to work.
It may be that now is the right time to find that right mixture of schools."

Some believe that the right mixture for Syracuse might be with the Big Ten.
Rutgers and Pittsburgh have been mentioned most often as candidates to 
follow Penn State into the Big Ten, but Syracuse became the hot rumor at the
NCAA convention.

Syracuse seats 50,000 for football and 33,000 for basketball in the Carrier
Dome and is a research institution tha tapparently fits the academic require-
ments the Big Ten presidents are seeking.  What's more, it would increase the
Big Ten's drawing power in the New York City TV market.
================================================================================
Note 17.133          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           133 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 18 lines  19-JAN-1990 12:22
                            -< Horrors in Run Dn'C >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Not quite right, ICE.
    
    Gougetown is all about revenge.  I don't have a problem with that
    myself, coming from an inner-city environment.  What I have a problem
    with his that so much is expended on such a trivial form of getting
    even!  Believe you me that the right wing NeoConMen who run this
    country fell to their knees in tears of joy when they saw that stupe
    "coach" John Stompshim coming.  Manna from heaven!
    
    And to boot the guy cain't coach.  Maybe he should hire Billy Tubbs
    as a_offensive coordinator and that way we won't lose any more Gold
    Medals like last time.  This guy has displaced the once pseudo-best
    Reverend Smif' as annually having the most awesome talent, and he
    still manages to keep the thrill in it with his ineffecient game
    schemes.  I'll admit as a fight fan that I do like the on-court
    violence, though...
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 17.135          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           135 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 13 lines  19-JAN-1990 14:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >He does know how to coach defense and recruit so he's not a total
    >waste.
    
    I wonder.  Certainly the Horrors have been the premier defensive
    team over the 80s, but after the Bronze Medal debacle one wonders
    if he still has it.  What would he be able to put on the floor in
    the extremely unlikely event that he actually didn't have a taller
    deeper stronger quicker front-line than a_opponent? 
    
    What with his "special" recruiting program we'll probably never
    know, but I wonder...
    
    MrT
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Note 17.137          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           137 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "It's morning on the A-Team now" 18 lines  19-JAN-1990 14:46
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    I'm surprised the Big Least folk in here aren't barking about how
    SyrExcuse is talking to the Big10 about getting admitted in the
    club, Joe Paterno-style.  
    
    Don't worry, I'm not gonna rub it in.  Too much.  It *is* a bit
    humiliating, though.  And if we get a chunk of the fat New York TV 
    market maybe you guys won't be televised nationally twice as much
    as us.
    
    Nah, I'm not gonna get uppity.  But with Syracuse knocking on our
    door and a shaken Gene Corrigan (ACC Commish) wondering aloud "will
    the Big Ten look at us differently after (all these scandals?), I 
    might say "I told you so" if I were the vindictive type but I'm
    not so I won't.
    
    hee
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 17.139          The Biggest Baddest: The Big East Note           139 of 725
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10, Conference of All-Time"  18 lines  19-JAN-1990 15:49
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    Don't go off ddenying rreality, TTom.
    
    Here, again, is what babbling Gene said in front of the reporters
    camped out on his door step like vultures at a 12 car accident:
    
    "I hate that this happened.  We all hate that this happened.  Does
    it help us?  No.  Does it ruin our image?  No.  Does it change the
    way the Big Ten or Notre Dame feel about us?  No..."
    
    Now, while Gene's got the right point of reference, the man falls
    down some answering his rhetorical questions.  Frankly, it may very
    well ruin their image, and Big10 Tom for one has changed the way
    he feels about the ACC...
             
    No, not personal contact, TTom.  The guy's spouting this stuff off
    in front of cameras and tape recorders.  All shook up.
    
    Big10 Tom                                             

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Note 25.22                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  22 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Atlantic CLOSE Conference ha ha" 2 lines  29-DEC-1989 09:08
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Note 25.23                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  23 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Help us cure Cystic FeyBoastUs"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 09:09
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Note 25.32                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  32 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Cyst-hypocrisy THRIVES in misery"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:36
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Note 25.34                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  34 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "who cares? 89-90 ACC is mediocre" 2 lines   3-JAN-1990 14:29
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Note 25.39                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  39 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "my my, Cyst & Co. are TOUCHY !!"   2 lines   4-JAN-1990 15:21
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Note 25.41                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  41 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew, & Dean did, too!"  2 lines   5-JAN-1990 13:54
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Note 25.49                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  49 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Just a great great underachiever" 2 lines   8-JAN-1990 11:55
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Note 25.59                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  59 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "UNC @NCAA: courtus interruptus"   2 lines  10-JAN-1990 08:13
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Note 25.61                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  61 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Fess up, Cyst. Tell it. NOW !!"    2 lines  10-JAN-1990 14:43
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Note 25.79                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  79 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Smif Cycle: Inflexible Cryer"     2 lines  11-JAN-1990 13:00
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Note 25.81                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  81 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "meant 'Objective Analist' NAZZ?"  2 lines  11-JAN-1990 14:48
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Note 25.92                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  92 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "no WONDER Penn State went Big1" 14 lines  16-JAN-1990 10:22
                                    -< 8^o >-
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    			LIVING UP TO ITS IMAGE
    
    The ACC commissioner said the league's image won't be tarnished
    despite the possibility of having three of its eight teams on
    probation.  N.C. State's basketball program recently was hit with
    two year's probation, and the NCAA is investigating Maryland basketball
    as well as Clemson football.
    
    "I hate that this happened," commissioner Gene Corrigan said.  "We
    all hate that this happened.  Does it help us?  No.  Does it ruin
    our image?  No.  Does it change the way the Big Ten or Notre Dame
    feel about us?  No...  I don't think it hurts the ACC's image, as
    long as you consider the other schools that we have in the league.
    They're the reputation of the conferences in many ways, anyway."
================================================================================
Note 25.99                  Atlantic Coast Conference                  99 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "no WONDER PennState went Big10!" 2 lines  16-JAN-1990 10:57
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Note 25.113                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 113 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from yesterday's paper"   19 lines  18-JAN-1990 10:41
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			BIG TEN'S NO. 1

The latest computer basketball ranking of the top conferences by Jeff 
Sagarin, whose information is used by the NCAA in assembling its 64-team 
tournament field:

1.  Big Ten 		85.80 points
2.  Big Eight 		85.28
3.  Atlantic Coast	84.42
4.  Big East		83.14
5.  Pacific-10		79.96
6.  Southeastern	79.90
7.  Big West		78.49
8.  Metro		78.37
9.  Western Athletic	77.47
10. Mid-American	76.15
11. Missouri Valley	75.39
12. American South	74.71
13. Mid-Continent	73.58
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Note 25.120                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 120 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 11 lines  19-JAN-1990 10:21
                                    -< :^( >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I'm didn't see your apology, Cyst.  After what you did to me is
    it too much to axe for a act of basic human consideration? 
    
    Just say "I'm sorry I framed you, MrT" and not only will I enter 
    your contest with a eye-popping paean to Smif', I'll guarantee
    to quit calling you "Cyst!"
    
    Also quit making these false claim references to my "pardon" and
    my "crime."
    
    MrT                                 
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Note 25.123                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 123 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst"  8 lines  19-JAN-1990 11:27
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    Look, Cyst.  If you and your clique need a whipping boy, somebody
    who genuinely deserves punishment, why not Metzger?  He's infamous
    for open bribery.  You remember, when he paid off corbett to steal
    '88 NoTY from me and my soul mate John Hendry.
       
    Just admit that I wasn't pardoned.  I was exonerated.  
    
    MrT
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Note 25.135                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 135 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    1 line  22-JAN-1990 16:08
             -< hey Cyst, who's better now?  Da Reverend or Bob? >-
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Note 25.145                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 145 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    39 lines  24-JAN-1990 10:37
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    >RHETT::KNORR "BobbyFight(tm),Isiah,TheChair,TheFan"
    
    This got me to mulling over what's been going on down midlantic
    way with college hoops.  First you got Lefty "I am a sleazoid scum
    bucket" Dreisell responding to Len Bias' coke overdose by ordering
    his team to obstruct justice and do a cover up; and the Maryland
    justice system responding by looking the other way.  Then you have
    Clemson which is... well, *Clemson*.  Then the revelations about
    Jim Vulvano in that book, which were very substantive in that they
    showed skewed priorities, and the treatment of players like so much
    revenue meat.  Changing grades, payoffs, and all the rest, everybody
    KNOWS what Vulvano is, does; and we see the politicians rallying
    behind him and meting out the stern punishment of taking away his
    AD job and making proclamations about how these kids gotta start
    going to class.  
    
    Then the other night comes North Carolina A&T vs. Central.  The
    game looks like a dance hall scene orchestrated by John Stompshim
    with Alonzo Mourning as the lead dancer.  Pushing, shoving, punching,
    and finally a full scale riot.  Wanna talk twisted priorities?  They
    suspended, what?, a few players for one game (the NCAA minimum)
    and - after several people including two cops were hospitalized - the
    Carolina criminal justice system showed just how much they share
    these twisted priorities by not filing criminal charge one!
    
    So, ACC Crisp, you run that p_name of yours.  But Bob's players
    seldom even whine to the ref and NEVER fight.  And he stands and
    the opposite end of the spectrum from your Dreisells and Clemsons
    and Vulvanos.  The kind of thing that happened the other night could
    never happen in Hoosierland, and if it somehow did I guarantee you
    they'd be picking over the films and would have dozens of people,
    and all of the players, doing short time on felony charges.
    
    And "BobbyFight?"  What fight?  Only thing I know of was when the
    Puerto Rican cop pushed him in front of twenty witnesses and Bobby
    put him to sleep for five minutes.  That was no fight, that was
    a lesson in civil liberties vs. police statism.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.148                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 148 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "I late brake for off-ramps"       28 lines  24-JAN-1990 12:00
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    >Where's the meat?
    
    No, question is "where's the guts?"  Where *are* the guts for a
    prosecutor to charge Dreisell for obstruction of justice, if for
    no other reason than to neutralize the awful example he set.  Where
    *are* the guts for the chief of police to charge participants in
    a riot for rioting?  Or for the college adminstrators to suspend
    coaches, players, maybe the whole program for an extended period?
    
    Where *are* the guts in the Carolina state house to REALLY deal
    with what went down in Durham?
    
    So much is being swept under the rug, one wonders about the priorities
    in operation down there and the sincerity of those who claim they're
    attempting to clean things up.  
    
    In happy contrast, what they naysayers have on Bob is represented
    by Rochibaud's .147, that Bob is stuck to his side of an agreement
    and is exerting his rights under published NCAA guidlines, in
    particular a rule that exists for a very good reasonl.  
    
    Blunderburp screws Bob and leaves him centerless again cuz he don't
    like his offense, and bleeding heart Rochibaud comes round crying
    about why does the poor kid have to sit out a year, boo hoo Bob
    is a heel whaaaa and makes like Bob mis a midlantic-style guy...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.152                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 152 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   42 lines  24-JAN-1990 12:29
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    >with the exception of the recent brawl...
    
    Hundreds of people rioting, police injured, bystanders injured,
    no charges filed, wrist slap from school administrators, and 
    Bob Hunt shows the very blase attitude I speak of. 
    
    Things cain get out of hand anywhere, it's how they're handled where
    I see the difference. 
    
    As for your list:
    
    	- Date rape accusations are made against jocks, especially black
    	  jocks it seems, on college campuses all the time.  I remember
    	  some Notre Dame guys with the same problem, and it turned
    	  out the young woman had lied after taking serious peer pressure
    	  for doing a black guy.
    
    	  As for the accusations in Madison (which is the most leftist,
    	  feminist metro area in the United States), the Minnesota players
    	  went through a full trial and were exonerated by a jury. The
    	  judge had some scathing words at the end for the accuser.
    
    	- Except for Illinois football, the rest of it is speculation.
    	  Innocent until proven guilty.
    
    It's the standard of justice, and the attitudes and mores they reflect,
    that I'm comparing between the mid-atlantic states and the midwest,
    and they seem quite a bit different.
    
    We're not talking about a runaway coach or pugilist players here.
    What we're talking about is police chiefs, county prosecutors, circuit 
    court judges, and school adminstrators with lax attitudes.  Dutcher
    was fired without any infractions accused much less proved (he
    considered suing but dropped it)  White was fired.  Every few years
    the Indiana State Legislature forms a special committe to investigate
    how Bob cain get away with yelling so loud [sic] with such a mean
    look on his face.
    
    I compare this milieu with Driesell, Vulvano, and riots and I see
    a BIG diff.
    
    Big10 Tom  
================================================================================
Note 25.161                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 161 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   59 lines  24-JAN-1990 14:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Class act.  Any convictions result from that one, T ???
    
    Musselman was publicly shamed and fired.  The State Legislature
    and University went into full swing with commissions, studies,
    recriminations, soul searching, self-flagellation, and such.  The
    incident shook the state, and the conference, to its foundations.
    Not sure, but I think the AD took the fall also.
    
    And as for the other incidents the Illini AD took the fall, and
    the *governor* of Iowa is all over Iowa City like a wet blanket,
    demanding tougher NCAA standards while implementing tougher U. of
    Iowa standards with audit procedures.  (Note: the pud classes to
    which you refer shouldn't even exist, but most state schools have
    fallen into the trap of becoming extension services to adult part-
    time students, which usually stems from their land grant charters.
    Also, I don't necessarily agree that art classes are pud.  Ever
    try to paint?)
    
    At any rate Hunt you obfuscate:
                 
    The point is the response to the sleaze, not so much the sleaze
    itself.  Dreisell's action was swept under the rug.  Ditto Vulvano.
    Ditto Clemson (biennially, it seems).  The nonreaction to the riot
    is an outrage, much worse than the riot itself or the priorities
    that made it possible.
    
    Funny, but you guys are the midatlantic sports experts and until
    I brought it up you were mum on it.  We Big10 folk have always been
    the first to point at *our* runaways.
                                       
    re: who's the most rad
    
    I'm aware of Amherst and Berkeley , but I'm telling ya Mad City
    is the LAST place in the States a guy'd wanna go on trial for rape.
    They were exonerated by a jury in Madison and that means they'd
    be found innocent anywhere.  They didn't get off on a technicality,
    they were found innocent.  
    
    >obviously you've never been to the People's Republic of Boulder
                               
    Well, I lived there for half a summer, and have visited there, oh,
    maybe 75-100 times or so.  Boulder's radical/feminist/socialist/
    leftist?  Ain't been there in quite a while, but the Boulder I remember
    is a pretty little city with a bunch of aging hippies selling crafts
    to rich kids flitting from party-to-party in their 911 Carreras.
     
    If anything I regard Boulder and the school there as right wing
    cowboy with the usual fringe of college hangers on ragtag. 
    
    I wasn't aware that Boulder was especially political at all, except 
    maybe for active chapters of DAR, Young Republicans and YAF.  Hey,
    in Mad City they sell strap-ons by the pound!
    
    re .153
    
    Quote me, Crisp.  I referred to the midatlantic states and Carolina, 
    not the ACC.  
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.180                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 180 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10, Conference of all-time"   10 lines  25-JAN-1990 15:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .177
    
    Well put, TTom.
    
    Let he who casteth the first stone feel its ricochet up side his
    haid.  But let he would praise rock throwing and rock mongering
    be spat upon as a man who prizes a good delivery over a good sense
    of priorities.
    
    Rev. ShagNasty 
================================================================================
Note 25.183                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 183 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  15 lines  25-JAN-1990 16:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    So, Cliff Craven, I see that when you not busy chanting the alphabet
    over in 110 you drop in the 25 hoping to outperform your competition.
    
    On Bob and the HoF, I agree with him completely.  Here he is with
    three Titles and he's supposed to go in behind a guy with only *one*?
    Just being put on the same plane with the guy would be an insult to
    Bob, but to come in behind him is plain mismanagment and dishonesty.
    
    So let them run their fly-bitten little tourist trap without a Bob
    booth.  Hell, maybe these crackpots got sucked in by the fack that
    the Carolinian idolators saw fit to erect a False Temple based on
    one measly Title.  But now hear this, mismanagers: An HoF is supposed
    to be *objective*.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.186                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 186 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Dey Do John JohNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!"   28 lines  26-JAN-1990 15:25
                                    -< ~\~ >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You guys get your acts together and straighten up willya.
    
    Whadday talkin', do I have to spell it out?  Half your material
    is unsubstantiated allegation and the other half is personality
    cultism.  Hey, you wanna finishing school etiquette go see Miss
    Manners you wanna see Titles come to papa and maybe after my 
    private audience with the kind I cain set you up with a counseling
    session.
    
    TTom, Hunt, you're groping.  Sleaze is everywhere, it's the response
    to it that counts and I ain't seen no cadaver drug cover ups out
    here, no riots neither.  And in the extremely almost impossible
    to imagine even that this neck of civilization experiences such a
    scumbucket form of sleaze five'll get ya ten that the legal people
    won't be sweeping things under the rug!
    
    My my midlantic hoops what suspiciously lumpy rugs you have!  Would
    that be the N.C. Skate player who did a knee and had his scholarship
    cut under that hump?  Is that Len's covered-up cadaver under this
    one?  Whooooo looks like a whole pile of bods over there is that
    NC Central or the Aggies... or the Sherriff who looked away?  You
    say that's not Mt. Everest that's called Clemson Tradition?  I cain
    believe that.
    
    Hey, read my lips: W-h-e-n c-o-m-p-a-r-i-n-g j-u-d-g-e-s c-o-m-p-a-r-e
    s-e-n-t-e-n-c-e-s n-o-t p-e-r-p-e-t-r-a-t-o-r-s
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.202                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 202 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  38 lines   5-FEB-1990 15:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: Witch Hunt, Schneid
    
    Witch, why should you be urinated off that a neighbor expresses
    righteous concern over full-scale rioting at an athletic contest?
    If you had the moral fiber of an ardvaark at least you'd join me
    in protesting it.  Btw, the moral rage is over now: turns out that
    the key participants have been put on 3 game *probation*, which
    means that if these guys start another full-scale riot sending police
    and innocent bystanders into the Emergency Room again, they could
    actually miss a game or two!
               
    Witch Hunt, I steer you back to the key point that it's the response
    to the crime, not it's happening, which *this* moral leader likes
    to focus on.  I still cain't believe they passed on busting that
    cadaver-hider Lefty Sleazell.
    
    As for the UNLV riot, where's the note?  I looked for it but couldn't
    find it.  You gotta luv the Runnin' Rebels, though.  Class bunch
    a student-athletes, those guys: they come home from the riot to
    find legal action's been taken against the university to make good
    on all their unpaid hotel bills!
    
    Schneid, thank you for taking my side for once.  Your midwestern
    crime, of course, involved no violence and took place in a work
    of fiction.   And it's good to see Gougetown's racially-segregated
    team is also racially-*motivated* (surprise!).  
    
    Alonzo Mourning is right up there with Michael Graham and John
    Stompshim on the classy-meter.  I'll still never forget when he
    brutally bashed in the face of that Princeton center at clutch-time
    in the NCAA last year.  Classic Horror Picture: The ref was too 
    intimidated to call a foul; Stompshim clapped his hands in
    encouragement; the Princeton kid was hurt, and let Mourning have
    his way; the Horrors went on to win; and nobody dared complain.
    
    Bravo!  Good to see Stomper's keeping the Tradition alive.
    
    Big10 Tom
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Note 25.204                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 204 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  10 lines   5-FEB-1990 15:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey Schneid, speaking of so-called fiction, did the Gougetown Horrors
    ever pick up the putative decenniel white person to avert Civil
    Rights Commission action?
    
    Funny that a guy like you would welcome the Mourning by tacitly
    endorsing racial segregation.  I'm on the other side of that argument
    myself, but I believe in free speech and if you wanna speak out
    on behalf of nut-case extremism, well, I ain't gonna complain.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.211                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 211 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"           33 lines   6-FEB-1990 14:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey ACCrook, I see where you had the Trial over in 110 write-locked.
    Was that yet another back room arrangment?  But censorship is a
    fitting end to a jury-rigged contest, don't ya think?
    
    >at least you can count George Wallace C. 1960s as solidly in your
    >corner.
    
    My corner being the one that decries racial segregation?  Hardly,
    for George Wallace stood in the door of the administration building
    at the U. of Alabama campus.   No, *you're* in ol' George's corner,
    saying its OK to have racial segregation if that's what a school,
    or a television audience, prefers.
    
    I see you didn't answer the question.  Let's put it this way: Stomper
    is "special" in that in his universe the random distribution of hoops
    talent among high school students includes no whites, or maybe one
    white per decade.  Last year you "proved" that he wasn't a practicing
    segregationist by pointing to Lou Henson (conviently ignoring that
    Jens Kujawa had forgone his fifth year senior status).  Well, if you'll
    remember I then said that Lou would recruit and play whoever was best
    and, sure enough, up pops a red shirt frosh who was out last year
    with a blood clot condition, Kaufmann, who's started most of this
    year.
    
    Stompshim is very different indeed.  He has a different universe
    of talent and a different roster (i.e., segregated), he uses different 
    things to motivate his players, and he's judged by a different standard.
    He's an embarrassment to black America.                
                                                  
    And, of course, it takes a bleeding heart liberal's condescension
    to "allow" this form of hypocrisy for his television viewing pleasure. 
    
    MrT                                    
================================================================================
Note 25.215                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 215 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"           17 lines   6-FEB-1990 15:34
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    >So far their silence on your fantasies [sic] has been deafening.
    
    Duhhhh, Dan?  I think the way it works is that the aggrieved, not
    the perpretrator, is the one who protests.  As for the majority's
    silence, that exists only in the media.  Off-channel Gougetown is
    the most hated squad in the country.  So there ya have it, racial
    hatred being stoked up after twenty years rest, all so one mediocre
    coach cain take a recruiting advantage under the false cloak of
    black pride (when in fact it's one man's ambition and vanity that's
    being served).
    
    As for your "fantasy" sneer, I dare ya to reprint all three definitions
    from Webster's again, compare it to numerical reality as it exists
    in that particular program, and then claim that definitions numbers
    2 and 3 don't apply.  Now *that's* fantasy.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.221                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 221 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice is Truth is Righteous"    32 lines   7-FEB-1990 10:24
                     -< Dan never did answer my question >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    No, it doesn't work that way Denny.  The way white urban liberalism
    works is to seek to balance racism, not to eradicate it.  Malcom X 
    saw *that* 30 years ago, which is why the press worked so hard to
    discredit him before the public.
    
    Here during Black History Month is a good time to reflect on how
    far African-Americans have come, both within the population and
    within themselves: they're now allowed to discrimate back, but only
    on the dog-bone scale of one college hoops program; they happily
    accept the bone, all the while forgetting that to engage in any
    activity is to endorse it.
    
    You cain bet the thousands of right wing windbags who populate official
    Washington are big Horror fans, for two reasons.
    
    Anyway, I agree.  It's unfair to have this conversation here; this
    belongs in the Big Least note.
    
    re: Midnight
    
    Nowhere did I even so much as imply that the hatred has been absent
    for the past twenty years; all I said was that it's been legitimized
    by Gougetown's very public and very shabby exercise in smallminded
    hypocrisy.
    
    The numbers prove it.  The random talent distribution over thousands
    of team recruiting years is too big a sample to ignore in the face
    of Stomper's mean-spirited self-centered exercise.  *He* thinks
    he's getting over; but in reality they're laughing at him from Capitol
    Hill as the biggest sucker in town, and that's saying something!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.235                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 235 of 924
LIAR::SHAUGHNESSY "JudgeWapner=FakeJudge=Schneid"    56 lines   8-FEB-1990 18:26
                -< poliltical discourse in America: brain dead >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Why would (the media) start with the relatively small issue of
    >college sports when relatively larger issues have already been
    >publicized?
    
    Three reasons:
    
    1. The publicity accorded to reverse discrimination in the past
       was in response to lawsuits reaching the Supreme Court.  The
       media in this country meekly accepts its agenda from Official
       Washington, who have no direct control over the Court's docket.
       Once these infrequent court cases are disposed of the issue is
       immediately and very quietly dropped.
    
    2. The media make big dough off of college sports, and as such
       sports "journalism" is a misnomer cuz they're *partners* with the
       big programs and as such do everything possible to put the best
       possible face on the NCAA where it affects their investment of
       hundreds of millions of dollars in rights and operating expenses.
    
    3. The media, despite the preposterous but widely-held belief that
       they are "liberal," is actually an extension of Official Washington, 
       which in turn is accepted as an extension of corporate America.
       (The media are run by upper class people of right-wing persuasion,
       and anyway rely on corporate America for all their income.  Thus
       NBC is owned by GE, a huge defense contractor; Reagan had his
       supposedly mysterious Teflon; NBC's next anchor is a former Nixon
       aide; mass public opinion on national level issues have swung
       massively to the right cuz the media did after certain misguided
       editors took the bull about journalism's mission seriously in
       the 70s).
    
       Corporate America (i.e., right wing capitalists) would be the
       last people in the world to instruct their media to bust Stompshim's
       self-delusory get-even segregated program, for they benefit
       indirectly from it in several way.  Especially when the sucker
       goes on to appoint himself as the nation's moral leader who argues
       for lowered academic standards as a point of social justice.
    
       From the right-wing perspective that was an act of elegant beauty
       and power!
    
    >relatively small issue
    
    You're wrong on that too.  Americans form many of their attitudes
    and opinions within the framework supplied them by mass media, especially
    TV.  Sports is almost dominant on TV, is highly politicized, college
    sports especially so, and they're openly used by those populating the
    corporate-to-Official Washington-to-mass media chain (whether food
    chain or command chain makes no difference), all of whom profit from
    hollow Marcus Garvey imitation, in terms of both money, opinion programming,
    and, more importantly, political symbolism.
    
    They LUV Stomper.  He does their bidding in the biggest of ways. That
    he's a self-important unwitting dupe only makes it that much sweeter!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.251                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 251 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   11 lines  15-FEB-1990 15:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >The ACC will miss him.
    
    What conference wouldn't miss a guy who did so little with a Ralph
    Sampson, and then went on to raise to new levels the dignity thought
    possible for medicority.  
    
    Combine him with some of the other underachievers in the Almost
    Close Conference and ye begin to understand why Jim Vulva looks
    like such a genius...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.258                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 258 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"  7 lines  19-FEB-1990 16:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   >Oh yeah, congratulations, MrT, on the prompt and orderly way that
   >the improper actions of Michigan's baseball coach (former) was dealt
   >with...  
    
    Why thank you.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.284                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 284 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 48 lines   1-MAR-1990 16:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What *is* it with the Almost Close Conference these days?  First
    we got [sic] Lefty Sleazell directing kids to pull the cload of
    obstruction of justice (a felony) over Bias' cadaver; then we have
    ACC Chris cold-busted as a crooked game show host; *now* we see
    the bitter fruits borne of Vulvano's alleged myopia - and more
    importantly the University's willingness to slap his wrist instead
    of running him back under his rock where he belongs.
    
    >one possible reason why (Vulva) didn't have a clue... is that maybe
    >the kid was smart enough to put the money in hiding...
                             
    Yea, what with VulvaMeister's strong committment to educational
    standards and all the kids are ready to handle that New York banking
    action, haw haw haw...
    
    Poor VulvaMeister jest couldn't maintain that ol' awareness thing,
    the doctored test scores, the changed grades, the shoe sale, the
    scalping, and now the mafia point shaving...
    
    Know what riles me about this latest thigh-shuddering dispatch from
    the fecund soils of Wolfpackgate (tm)?  Two things: 1) the kid on
    ABC last night said that he'd shave the points again, that they
    were "owed" the dough cuz they had to be able to buy hamburgers
    after McDonald's had closed (so the thousands were essential to
    survival) and, 2) this is a perfect example of why certain coaches
    with ethical standards handicap themselves by refusing to recruit
    the kind of lazy something-for-nothing sleazebags that are fixtures
    on successful semi-pro teams like NC Skate, the Runnin' Rabble, 
    the Okie Swooners and all the rest.
    
    Arthur Ashe put it succintly two nights ago: Academic standards
    need to be raised not lowered, and the "journalists" supposedly
    reporting this mess are employed by organizations who are  the root 
    source of the problem.
    
    One last loaf (sorry to be on my soapbox again, but lately 25 seems
    to be the appropriate note to discuss these things): For all the
    jive-bull about how the "scholar-athlete" is being exploited, think
    about the fack that if these supposedly invaluable commodities were
    playing minor league football or baseball with no college affiliation
    (e.g., The Durham Devils or the Baton Rouge Bengals) how much TV
    and gate money would be there?  Table scraps.  How much exposure
    would be given to the star 21 year old to enhance his value to bidding
    NBA or NFL franchises?  Dog food.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
    
    
================================================================================
Note 25.296                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 296 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardNorthKnor" 36 lines   5-MAR-1990 10:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Gotta luv the Almost Close Conference, they're putting out some of
    the best doggoned lurid humor in the nation right now outside of
    Mad Magazine and the Fox Network.  And Clemson's not even in play
    right now!                       
    
    re: Vulvano
    
    Whether or not he knew of the point shaving or the agent payment
    is irrelevant.  One cain be a spectator to a sleazoid operation
    only so long - this is called the Barry Switzer Principle.
    
    re: "scholar"-athletes
    
    You make my point, Glenn.  Take away the universities and their
    alumni and tradition and these supposedly valuable athletes are
    instant nobodies.  Who CARES what happens to the college game if
    they're sent packing?  
    
    I have a_idea that'd solve the problem in no time: First, independent
    of knucklehaid athletes, the basic entrance standards should be
    raised for all colleges.  Second, apply them remorselessly to student
    athletes.  Third, create a category where GED or remedial students
    are allowed to participate on college football and hoops teams while
    learning how to read and write and do four function math.  Place
    a limit on this category where only, say, 3 dummies are allowed,
    and *they* must matriculate in order to enter their third year of
    eligibility.  Fourth, prorate all TV income according to a forumula
    based on dummie count, overall graduation rates, and cleanliness
    as far as rules violations.
    
    And depsite what Dickie V. sez, each dummy should be identified as such
    publicly.  This would pressure him to not watch TV all night instead
    of studying; more importantly it would send out the right message
    to the kids who now are receiving the wrong message.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 25.305                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 305 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"    7 lines   5-MAR-1990 15:18
                 -< Step 1 of 12 Steps for Recovering Crooks >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Good move, mike.  It's good to take these dealings out from the
    sordid shadows and into the sunshine, which certainly will be
    a positive contribution to his recovery process.  If we could just
    get him to quit hanging around with the Schneids of the world
    he could be a straight shooter like US someday...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.307                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 307 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"     1 line   5-MAR-1990 16:19
                -< Let's hope NC Skate gets the Death Penalty >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 25.310                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 310 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   31 lines   5-MAR-1990 16:31
              -< my house has butlers & maids, yours only pimps  >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, so far the only thing on the Illini are some disputed 
    allegations from a hated rival.  Nothing like fixing games or
    the like.  Don't see the analogy, Bob.
    
    >oh-so-squeaky clean Big Ten
    
    Good words, these.  Please note that the Council of Ten has 
    been relentless is subordinating their ADs over the past few
    years.  Dickie V. cain fill time complaining about how the
    various eligibility rules unique to the Big10 "victimize" kids,
    but I say keep it up.  It might cost on the field of play, but
    who cares.   By way of example, they've taken to pressing State
    Attorneys General to file felony embezzelment charges where
    payouts take place (e.g., Minnesota, Michigan), one heckuva
    disincentive, yes?
    
    By way of stark and stinking contrast, look at the regime placed
    on pubic hare lipped scumbags like Vulva and Dreisell: Take away
    one guy's Athletic Directorship but otherwise leave him be; replace
    the other with *another* pubic hare lip!  
    
    Wrist slaps on pukebucket behavior only begets bigger buckets of
    puke, and the buckets are slopping over in the Almost Close Conference
    right now (which explains why you're so chippy, Bob) and the wrists
    there are mighty limp too.
    
    Any riots out your way lately Bob?  Say, mebbe you cain sign those
    scholar-athletes from Runnin' Rabble U. to come on out and join
    the fun next year!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.315                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 315 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  93 lines   7-MAR-1990 09:11
                   -< MrT on sports vs Bob Hunt on me  8^o >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -< It's been fun, Tom ... >-

What, your attacks and distortions on me?  Fun for you, not fun for me.

>I concede... I no longer have the will or desire to engage you in this
>forum.

GOOD.  Except, wouldn't it be more forthcoming if it read something like,
"I'm bored, Tom.  I no longer have the wierd needs or maliciousness to 
bash you so unfairly in this forum."

I'm happy to see you *finally* pledge to quit with the personal attacks.
Some people have what it takes to attack subjects and not neighbors, some
don't.  *Look* at you, on your way out posing me as somehow standing against
fulfilling work, pleasant weather, and wholesome family life.

You've spent the last month following me around cudgeling me with your
distortions and your vituperations, but I must admit that your finally
calling it quits is to your credit.

>>Don't see the analogy, Bob.
    
>You can't see the analogy because you refuse to open your eyes.
    
No, I don't see it cuz the Illini hoops program was clean up to this point;
Skate has symbolized all that is wrong with college athletics.  I don't see
the analogy between a recruit taking a payoff (a very bad thing in its own
right) and players teaming up with organized crime to fix games cuz they
had to out of the survival need for thousands of dollars of late night hamburger
money.  I don't see the analogy between a Skate player coming forth and making
accusations against his own schools and a_Illini player being the target of
accusations that he vehemently denies.

My eyes are open; yours apparently are clouded.

>pure allegation and nothing else.  So. before you start calling for the
>death penalty, please make sure the program is convicted.
    
My what fine sheep's clothing you wear as opposed to that nasty wolf's suit
you donned when you were misrepresenting me over in 110, eh?

>Excuse me, Tom, but if you're going to judge the *ENTIRE* apple barrel 
>based on the the three rotten apples in it, then I have no choice but to 
>discount your short-sighted views.   

You have the choice of admitting that I NEVER impugned Duke, UVA, Tech, or
the Star Heels.  Is the Truth too much to axe?

>advancing a player about $200 for a trip home, giving another player car 
>rides to class, and giving free clothing away to some recruits like Alonzo 
>Mourning.  Hardly*major* violations in my book.   Violations, yes, they were.  
>Major ones, no, I think not.

It's a major competitive advantage is what it is.  Take those schools that 
don't give out a damned thing to recruits or students and understand that what
Maryland did needs to be punished severely.

My it's odd to hear you pooh poohing infractions, speaking on behalf of crooks.
 
>no riots out here.   There was a brawl between two smaller non-ACC schools 
>(NC A&T vs NC Central) earlier this year.  What that has to do with the ACC 
>only you can figure out.
    
My MY it's even odder to hear you describing 2-300 hundred people going full
tilt with chairs etc. as only a "brawl."  David Gergen would be proud if he
could see this little nugget of propaganda.

And, again you misrepresent that I've ever drawn a connection between these
two Carolina state schools and the ACC.  The link I made, and still make, is
that the same state government, the same state educational system, the VERY
same culture, that slaps a puke-toothed creep like Vulva on the wrists just
happens to be one that looks the other way after several innocent bystanders
and police are hospitalized.

As I said from the beginning, you get infractions and incidents anywhere,
it's the response to them where one sees the good the bad and the ugly.
                    
>If everything you say is truth, justice, and the American way and everyone 
>who disputes you is a lying,  misguided, masturbating, puke bucket with open 
>sores, then I guess I'll just have to be content here in my own little private
>Idaho.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Bob.  Your capacity for
ill humored hyperbole and distortion is disappointing, but who am I to condemn,
we all have our bad habits.  To wit: I've NEVER accused anybody of masturbating.
If your command of English falls short don't bash *me* about it.  And what an
"if" you work there!, for it's pure unadulterated whiney fiction to pretend that
I've never agreed with anyone and have called everybody liars.  If somebody 
willfully misrepresents facks I care about (as you have in 110 and here) I'll 
say so without apology.

MrT
                                                                               
================================================================================
Note 25.321                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 321 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  16 lines   7-MAR-1990 10:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I feel sorry for you.
    
    Bob Hunt, the meddling rancorous poseur.  
    
    Look, you've managed to lower the level of discussion in here by
    persistently turning me away from sports subjects to personality
    discussions.  
    
    That you now try to make it appear that I've been unreasonable
    and have lost your correspondence but gained your sympathy is just
    the same tired phony act you've been dealing for 2 months now. 
    
    Nothing new.  You have no complaint, except that you started somehting
    you don't have the stomach for [objective frank discussion].
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.322                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 322 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  17 lines   7-MAR-1990 10:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: Big8
    
    When there's no clearly dominant team on the national level, the
    top rankings become an almost random matter.  Teams who've lost
    the least recently tend to cycle up to replace the ones who did
    lose.  In the case of the Big8 this year, they happened to be on
    the up cycle when the pre-conference season ended.  From there they've
    enjoyed the benefit of playing in a weak league where the three
    good teams weren't penalized for losing to one another; and the
    teams from the better leagues (Big10, Big E, ACC), were penalized
    for the inevitable losses not only to other top conference teams
    but the middle and lower ranks too.  
    
    Speaking of the Big E, I heard yesterday that their entire hoops
    roster was made up of Prop 48 people.  Is this true?!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.326                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 326 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  21 lines   7-MAR-1990 12:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I'm not at "war" with Bob Hunt.  He's been trying to hurt my feelings
    (with some success, I might add) but I've only put enough time in
    defending myself to maintain my dignity.
    
    re reed
    
    I didn't say the Big3 were "so overrated."  I'm just saying that
    if anybody believes they're indeed the three of the top four or
    five squads in the country they're kidding themselves.  When they
    got into the conference scheduled ranked so high, it was inevitable
    that they'd be ranked just as high at the end.  By the same token
    every year, almost without exception, the top Big10 squads inevitably
    drop in the national rankings as they make those awful road trips,
    then revisit reality come tourney time, like last year with 4 of
    the Sweet Sixteen and half of the Final Four and the Title (most
    in the 80s?).
    
    We'll see who's best come tourney time, we always do.  Could be
    one or two of the Big3 are that good, no way all three...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.332                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 332 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"    6 lines   7-MAR-1990 16:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Maybe I should do like Bob Hunt and start attacking people and 
    then you guys wouldn't make fun a me.
    
    MrT
    
    ps. Hey Metz, you misspelled "egos"
================================================================================
Note 25.334                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 334 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnight"   0 lines   7-MAR-1990 16:54
               -< so now a *cowpoke* derides my vernacular? :^( >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
================================================================================
Note 25.387                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 387 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"    7 lines  19-MAR-1990 10:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Quite a weekend for the ACC ...
    
    Yup, the script is moving right along.  Now the stage is set for
    yet three more of those excellent losses you people place so much
    value on!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.389                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 389 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   17 lines  19-MAR-1990 11:11
            -< from Excellent Losses to "least losses" haw haw haw >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Whaddya doing now, oh one who cain dish it out but cain't take it,
    counting up who has less losses?  Haw haw haw.  That's like UNC
    bragging about their string of 20+ win seasons without ever mentioning
    that they went to the 30 game schedule years before most schools...
    
    Btw, IMNSHO State looks better than Tech and the Gophers look like
    they could drop either Duke or the lowly Star Heels on a_average
    day.  Easy enough to talk about what seems to be or making predictions,
    but deep down what you're really doing, Bob, is making hay over
    what looks to be more Excellent Losses.  Who's got the least losses,
    indeed.  
    
    Hey, ever thought about who wins the damned tournaments, that maybe
    the object of participating in these things is to try to win it
    outright?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.391                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 391 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  12 lines  19-MAR-1990 14:01
              -< Old Faithful - a veritable geyser of misquotes >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Yep, talk about your excellent losses.
    
    NO no no.  While I admire your vast and shameless capacity for the
    misquote, a_"excellent loss" is by definition a loss in the regional
    finals or the Final Four, whereby one cain claim greatness for having
    lost excellently.
    
    The losses you cite weren't "excellent losses," they were losses
    incurred by the one living coach apart from Wooden who's tournament
    record is beyond criticism.
    
    Big10 Tom                  
================================================================================
Note 25.410                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 410 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 22 lines  20-MAR-1990 14:35
                -< Dan's trotting out Quotidien Quackery again >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I didn't realize the parameters you had placed on the term.
    
    I introduced the term and place usage parameters on it only as it
    applies to references made to my past uses of it.  Clearly what
    Excellent Losses implies is the comparison of a larger number of
    regional finals and/or Final Four choke jobs to National Championships.
    
    No one I know has ever attempted to compare first round losses to
    National Championships, not even you.
    
    >Is that "beyond criticism" quote so we don't spend any time examining
    >all the underachievment?
    
    It wasn't a quote, it was a primary statement.  But I'd answer yes,
    and for two reasons: 1) The concept of relative underachievement isn't
    applicable to one who has achieved more than anybody other active
    comparison and, 2) Even if it were appicable your implementation would
    probably be intellectually void, given the erroneous ideas you have
    about what constitutes the kind of achievement under discussion
    (i.e., winning tournaments vs. losing tournaments excellently).
    
    Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
Note 25.411                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 411 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 21 lines  20-MAR-1990 14:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >The conclusions I draw from the tourney so far, league wise
    
    Ahhhh, springtime.  The fresh sweet pungent odor of thawing cow
    poop, floods, and Almost Close Conference fans touting excellent
    losses... again.  A_annual rite of spring, eh?
    
    Hey ACCaught, if - as seems likely - your four teams depart this
    weekend and the two from the Big10 get through, does your conference
    appraisal change based on results?  Or do your criteria flip-flop?
                                                  
    The idea of the tournament *is* to win the thing, rite?
    
    >Billy Tubbs-style,MrT bashing
    
    Btw, one week ago you were in the Big10 note conceding that it was
    the best from top to bottom.  In fack, until last week end there
    was little debate anywhwere in this file on which conference was
    best, except a few peeps from the Big8 people, but *they're* gone
    until the next ten years now...
                     
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.413                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 413 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 34 lines  20-MAR-1990 15:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >yeah yeah yeah... I know all that...
    
    >So now, it becomes clear that your "Excellent Losses" means...
                                         
    You lost me.  You always knew what it meant, but its meaning is
    now revealed.  
    
    You've become confused by your own bull.
    
    As for Bob's latest "choke job," as you call it, the bookies had
    the game a tossup and what we had was the Big10's seventh best team -
    the youngest team in the country and one most analysts also marked down
    for being very weak at center, with front-line depth, and rebounding - 
    losing a last second squeaker to the Pac10's second or third best team.
    
    No, I'm afraid your reliance on preseason rankings won't cut it. Otherwise
    you woulda been forced by intellectual honesty to heap praise on Bob's 
    genius coaching feat with last year's rag-tag bunch.  And if you did that
    then you'd be forced to argue that the guy had first been a great coach
    and then suddenly turned into a rotten coach, and that's a tough one.
                                                          
    No, better to go by the criterion that the best indication of a
    tourney is its winner, and that the best indication of a winner is the
    one who's won the most tourneys. 
    
    Otherwise you're back to arguing on behalf of losing excellently... but
    wait!, that *is* what you're doing, isn't it?
    
    At any rate, I suggest you drop your phony line of reasoning.  This
    is the ACC note.  As for me, I'm not interested in elucidating further
    on the matter, cuz you employ a floating criterion where I stick by stated
    principle.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.419                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 419 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnigh" 148 lines  21-MAR-1990 12:54
                                  -< re .417 >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I *said* I was reluctant to pursue this subject, especially here on these 
hollow ACC grounds, but don't blame ME, it's Schneid who's insisting here!

And for those of your who don't want to, or aren't willing to, read this 
here's a summary for your ratholing convenience:

******************************************************************************

				Pre-KO Summary

	Dan moves in for kill with Bob's early exit and reasserts claim 
	that Excellent Losses is a viable measure.  Dan fails to prove this 
	based on theory behind multiple year sampling.  Dan misrepresents 
	several facts and has each of them effectively rebutted by established
	facts.  In his lust to prove that Bob is a tournament underachiever, 
	Dan without apology reverses criteria used last year when Bob in fack
	"achieved" a_Excellent Loss.  Dan rejects NCAA Titles as predominant 
	measure of greatness.  Most important, Dan chooses to ignore the rest
	of Bob's NCAA  tournament record (beyond the 3 Titles, little tiny
	insignificant things like overall NCAA tournament winning percentage, 
	total number of NCAA tournament wins, record for widest average margin 
	of victory ever in a_NCAA tournament, most recent undefeated season, 
	etc.).

	MrT effectively rebuts each of Dan's false claims with factual 
	information, and Dan fails to respond, instead choosing to ignore these 
	factual rebuttals by simply bringing up others false claims.

	Thankfully for everybody, but especially for Dan, the relative talent 
	issue is not gone into at all.

*******************************************************************************

>but before you slide on over to critisizing those who are still competing 

Misquote.  I criticize those who extol Excellent Losses for failing to 
instead extol the Winner (as I plan to regardless of who comes out on top).
As proof, you didn't see *me* in here last year extolling Bob's excellent
Sweet 16 loss with his short slow graduate students.

>after all, the tourney only can have ONE winner, which you think means that 
>you have to ruthlessly and insidiously rip everyone else BUT Overachiever...

This is simply untrue.  In the context of, say, a 20 year sample, the tourney 
can have only TWENTY winners.   And that's a fack.
 
>to roast Dean for taking his team much further than they have a right to go,
>and cover (up) the first round KO of your beloved.  

I never signed onto ACCaught's preposterous contention that this year's Star
Heels are untalented.  True, they're less talented than what he ususally has,
but in terms of size and quickness and depth they're grade A by national
standards.   Some questionable skill levels, though.

The whole hue and cry about this year's Star Heels was a_overreaction to their
unbelievably tough preconference schedule, IMNSHO.

>the NCAA committee who deemed IU a higher seed than the aforementioned 
>stud-studded Golden Bears.

Cal was seeded 9th, Indiana 8th.

>>the Big10's seventh best team 

>Yeah, but they were best a year ago, and added the cream of the recruiting
>crop.  

Quit telling mistruths, Schneid.  Going into the NCAAs last year IU had the 
fourth or fifth highest national ranking, as had been the case throughout most
of the year, including the preseason when they were picked to finish 7th in the 
conference.  They were also moved outta their region cuz of properly diminished
seeding from the Tournament Committee.

>We basketball fans had a right to expect a little better than the dismal
>showing in the overrated Big 10. 

The tournament isn't over yet.  It's Excellent Loss time this weekend, yes,
and that's a big time for the likes of you, but we'll see who has greatness the
following weekend.

>And before you say it, they lost two studs who for some unknown reason 

It's hypocritical that you see going pro early as proof of incompetence with
a 3-time champion coach but as ok with a guy who's squandered twice the talent
for only one Title over twice as many years.

>>No, I'm afraid your reliance on preseason rankings won't cut it. 

>It doesn't have to "cut it".  It just forms a reasonable means to measure
>over- and underachievement in an objective manner, and IU '89-'90 is
>definitely among the latter.

Then your a_intellectually dishonest hypocrite, cuz it didn't cut it last year
when it worked to your disadvantage.

>But let's not lose sight of the fact that *in Bob's own words* he ardently
>disagreed with your appraisal of the talent of last year's team.  After
>all, intellectual honesty is my bag.

Bob always says nice things about his outgoing seniors.  That's his habit and
the habit of most coaches.  Name me any other team that took a 6-2 guard at
forward and a failed 6-9 forward who wasn't recruited out of high school that
went won a major conference and went to the Sweet 16.  Ain't none.  Btw, if 
you want objective data listen to the other Big10 coaches last year who, based
on their intimate knowledge of the talent had IU 7th.

>No, better to go by the criterion that the best indication of a
>tourney is its winner, and that the best indication of a winner is the
>one who's won the most tourneys. 

>amateur basketball... There aren't 255 (whatever) losers every year and just 
>one winner.  

64 teams go to the tourney, not 255.  Moreover, a Coppin State *should* consider
themselves winners just to win one or two games.  Not so among the big-time 
schools who have twice the talent and experience.

>And I know, when your argument of convenience isn't blinding you, you've 
>agreed on this point in the past.  

You're being mednacious again.  I've agreed that when evaluating a set of teams
(i.e., a conference) then a broad progressive measure is probably accurate, 
especially when applied to a restricted sampling (i.e., time period).

Now, turning your mendacity into Truth the obverse must follow: When evaluating
a single team (i.e, coaching regime) over a total sampling (i.e., tenure of 
coaching regime) in terms of relative greatness then the very definition of the
tournament itself must apply (i.e., who wins it most is best).

>The distance travelled within the tournement has great meaning to everyone: 
>coaches, players and fans.  It doesn't fit your simple model, but it did the 
>one you proposed last year (which you withdrew after the results weren't to 
>your liking).

I agree to a large extent with this.  However, setting aside your inveterate
mendacity on this subject for a moment you must admit I never applied my "simple
model" to the tournament's gernal public meaning, this year or last.  I applied
it to a direct career comparison between two coaches only.

>>You've become confused by your own bull.

>No, but I've succeeded in pointing out, and correcting, your own.

So sorry, Schneid.  I've factually rebutted each of your substantive points in
this note (such as they are), and you will tacitly admit this by failing to 
rebut the rebuttals.

Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.422                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 422 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  8 lines  21-MAR-1990 13:41
                                 -< Rejection >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >HEY SHAUGHNESSY AND SCHNEIDER - GET THE HELL OUT OF THE ACC NOTE
    >AND ARGUE WITH EACH OTHER IN YOUR OWN NOTE.
     
    Sorry, Nazz, but I'm gonna have to reluctantly disallow this.  I
    told you "don't blame me."  You'll have to direct your complaints
    to Schneider.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.424                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 424 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 12 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    No, sorry Schneid.  I rebutted several of your statements there
    with facts.  You tacitly admit this by declining even to debate
    them as points of fact.  This leaves me with the upper hand. 
    
    Shall I list them for your perusal, or would you rather step up
    to them on your own?  The third alternative, as we've seen for
    years now, is for you to ignore them and move on to making fresh,
    of recycled, false claims.  
    
    Lemme know, I'll be glad to post a list if you need a crib sheet.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.425                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 425 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 35 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What the hell, a list ain't necessary.  You leave a trail of unaswered
    contradictions and false claims like a_eager to please pup marking
    his first romp through the woods with oily little proud poop pellets.
    
    Let's get right down to the crux of where the Schneid Mendacity
    Express derails - as far as the facks go, anyways [sic]:
    
    >hypocritically... insignificant... trying to cover up Overachiever
    >Bob's tournament underachievement.
    
    Tell the Truth, Schneid.  I'll help ya on your false claim of Bob's
    so-called "tournament underachievement":
    
    - He has among the all-time best overall winning percentage in the
      NCAA tournament.  He had the highest overall for a while a few
      years back.                             
    
    Now, that right there puts the lie to your false claim, but let
    us continue documenting mendacity:
      
    - He holds the record for the widest-ever average margin of victory
      in the NCAA tournament.
    
    A fluke?  Well, let's go on:
    
    - He is among the all-time leaders in total victories in the NCAA
      tournament.
    
    See what I mean, Dan?  Shall I give you the laundry list of all
    the other quotidien disinformational false claims you've folded
    in your agitprop this time 'round?
    
    Just lemme know and I'll comply.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.431                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 431 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 30 lines  21-MAR-1990 15:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Wanna know who's ahead of him?  [Dean]
    
    This bears no relation to Dan's mendacious claim that a guy with
    such tournament credentials is "tournament underachiever."
    
    Btw, if you're proud of Dean's consistent excellent losing in the
    tournament over a guy who does nearly as well in two thirds the
    time and with three times the Titles then... vive la difference.
    
    Moi, I'll take the great winner over the choke-artist anytime.
    
    >"good losses", [sic] then extol Bob for piling up similar credentials.
    >
    >Can you say T-hypocrisy?  I knew you could.
    
    More disinfo.  Bob and 'Snuf have wildly different tournament
    credentials.  Bob does 5 times better winning the thing, Dean avoids
    first round losses much better.  Their tournament credentials read
    like night and day and are dissimilar.  
    
    That the two men have among best tournament records is the only
    similarity (the dissimilarity in that being 19 vs. 30).
                
    Whatever the case, certainly claiming a guy who's at the top on
    overall tourney performance cain't be a "tournament underachiever."
    
    Right?  Am I missing something?
    
    Big10 Tom
              
================================================================================
Note 25.432                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 432 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 24 lines  21-MAR-1990 15:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .426
    
    No one's called you a "liar," only that your argument is patently
    mendacious.  And now you're typing in fantasies about what I'm
    saying - but careful enough to use quotation marks (thanx).
    
    No, you're being called mendacious and a hypocrite cuz you cain't
    call a guy a tournament underachiever when he has among the best
    overall tourney winning percentages and among the most wins ever.
    
    Plain and simple.  Yeah, you cain file a complaint or two about
    his "peaks and valleys," but that ain't what you were doing, and
    Bob's ups and downs are widely documented, fully recognized and 
    understood by Bob fans and critics alike, and anyway are a separate 
    subject entirely.
      
    Now, quit telling lies about Bob's sterling tournament record and
    get real for a change.
    
    One last time, do you want me to list your *other* little M.U.s
    or shall we take your silence on my rebuttals as tacit admission
    of their falsehood.
     
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.435                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 435 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 14 lines  21-MAR-1990 16:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Fair summation?
    
    No, patently unfair.  Anybody with a tournament record with among the 
    best winning percentages and total number of wins must also be
    described as "consistently good."  
    
    If you wanna amend it to read "consistently good but with more ups
    and downs than the two or three other coaches who have achieved
    all-time tourney excellence" then maybe I'd buy in.
    
    But the phreaseology in .433 is misleading and dishonest to the
    established facts as they really are.
                                         
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.448                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 448 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  36 lines  22-MAR-1990 08:02
             -< you quit telling fibs, I'll quit correcting them >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >There was nothing mendacious in any of my notes.
    
    That's simply not true.  Granted, you're not a straight ahead liar,
    but you ARE mendaciuos, in these dealings at least.  And this applies
    to your .437 too.  Didn't even have to read to the bottom of it
    to find you misrepresenting that Indiana was a preseason Top 10
    (it wasn't).
    
    As for your other lies, you misrepresented that I applied my "simple
    model" to intrayear interconference comparisons, which I have never
    done.  I applied the model only to a 20 year sample strictly comparing
    two coaches.  There are several more that I could document for you,
    and frankly as long as your willing to print such mendacities rebutting
    them with the truth isn't a_insult to your character; your continued
    mispresentations are a_insult to good noting!
    
    re: ACCaught
    
    Well?  You and your unindicted coconspirator clone have been going
    on drawing conclusions for the past week about how the "facts" somehow
    "proved" that 'Snuffy was more "consistent" in his tourney success
    than Bob.
    
    First we find a raft of first game losses blotching Smif's record
    too; now we find the falsehood of your claim that 'Snuf leads Bob
    in overall winning percentage.
    
    Now, where's the retraction?
    
    Schneid managed to bleat out "underachievement IN THIS YEAR" and
    that's as close to coming clean *he'll* ever get in matters Bob,
    now how 'bout you?
    
    Btw, congrat's on signing Eric Montross.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.453                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 453 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  17 lines  22-MAR-1990 14:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Hmmm, do I smell another sweatshirt contest coming 'round the bend?
    
    Ha ha ha, actually, Hoot, that very thought crossed my mind after
    the latest volley of facts typed in here by the eminent Hendrys
    and Cappels putting the lie to so many of Tale Gunner Dan's M.U.s -
    until I went back over his notes from the last week and realized
    that even *I* wouldn't be able to quantify all his disinfo!
    
    So is another fairminded good clean fun "Count the Dan M.U.s" contest
    even possible?  May be.  I'm gonna put together a compendium of
    lies to make him look bad and try to force him into finally dealing
    with my rebuttals, but I'm quite busy right now, so we'll have to
    wait and see.
    
    Prior winners are welcome to enter though!
    
    Big10 Tom (a_HONEST contest operator)
================================================================================
Note 25.466                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 466 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 36 lines  23-MAR-1990 08:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Pre-season experts placed Indiana very highly [sic].  That is a
    >verifiable fact.
         
    What's verified here is that you false claimed "top 10," NOT "very
    highly."  
    
    Indiana was ranked anywhere from 13th through around 25 in the various
    preseason polls (TSN, USA Today, AP, UPI, CNN, etc.).  The 13th
    ranking was, I'm guessing, in the poll where coaches vote, you know,
    the poll that at the outset always reflects the previous year.  After
    ThunderBurp departed and they started playing tough Big10 opponents
    the polls caught up with reality.
    
    Whatever its validity, 13th is not "top 10."
    
    As for you the implication by behind this particular Dan M.U. (that
    Bob "underachieved" in the tournament), that doesn't wash either.
    The youngest team in the country, probably the last at-large selection
    to get in the tournament, a team with gaping holes in the lineup,
    and as a favorable 8th seed lost in a squeaker to a more experienced
    9th seed.
    
    Now, you cain argue the "recruiting is part of coaching" line (which
    won't work for you), but to hype this year's unsurprising first
    round loss as "proof" that Bob has a poor NCAA record from a coaching
    standpoint is just plain wrong.
    
    Speaking of just plain wrong "facts," Dan, several of us in here
    are waiting for you to reconcile your claim that 'Snuffy is more
    "consistent" in the NCAAs with Bob's recently published higher overall
    NCAA winning percentage.
    
    Ain't winning percentage considered a fair objective measure of
    consistency?  Huh?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.468                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 468 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 33 lines  23-MAR-1990 10:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >the criterial they were using was: from the time a young man joins
    >the program, what percentage of them graduate?  They mentined that
    >many schools used a percentage figure based on how many of their
    >Seniors grauduate, which naturally inflates the percentage significantly.
    >I doubt if NCU or Ind would be over 90%                  
    
    I don't buy this logic.  The approach taken by this measurement fails
    to accurately reflect academic success.
    
    For instance, in the early 80s Indiana's best player was a kid named
    Mike Giomi (6-8, nice shot, good feet, boards) who ran afoul of Bob
    for cutting classes and having a C average.  He was entirely eligible,
    mind you, but Bob holds weekly reviews of each student-athlete's
    class attendance, test scores, quiz scores, and progress reports. He
    got all over Giomi that he could do better, and threatened to bench
    him if he cut class again.  
    
    Giomi cut class again, Bob axed him to leave the school, and Jim
    Vulvano of NC Skate in the ACC immediately signed him, where he fit
    in fine.
    
    Now, why should Bob's academic winning percentage be marked down
    for this?  Or for kids who were doing fine but tranferred away for
    more PT (Brooks to Providence, Calloway to Kansas, Bender to Duke,
    et al) and graduate from their new school?
    
    Lord knows that Bob's athletic winning percentage suffered enough
    from the Giomi thing; but why should his other fine winning percentage
    be penalized?
              
    Btw, kids going hardship early also add to the penalty.
    
    Big10 Tom                                              
================================================================================
Note 25.474                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 474 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 43 lines  23-MAR-1990 12:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .471
    
    No WAY.  Indiana, in fack, was about the 33rd best team in the country.
    They beat all the lower ranked teams and lost all the higher ranked
    teams with two exceptions (Cal and Michigan respectively).  Btw, they
    were ranked about 15th in the final computer weighted rankings, apparently
    overrated because of all their good losses (not to be confused with
    Excellent Losses of the type ACCaught stayed up all night last night
    celebrating - hung over Caught?).
    
    re Glenn
    
    I agree that the "pay for graduation" would only further corrupt
    an already collapsed educational ethos.  Here's my proposal:
    
    1. Raise admission standards for everybody, including athletes.
    
    2. Raise retention standads for athletes.
      
    3. Create a special category for dummies (higher than today's minimum
       standards but below the new higher standards) whether at matriculation
       or after enrollment.
    
    4. Provide massive amounts of tutoring subsidized by athletic dept. income.
                                                                       
    5. Any subcollegiate remedial education (reading, writing, math, etc.)
       be done off-campus at a local high school.
    
    6. Require that dummies be clearly identified as substandard students
       by clearly marking uniforms, warm-ups, rosters, etc.
    
    7. Prorate all NCAA and conference income streams according to the
       percent dummies on team rosters.
    
    8. Set up special NCAA "friend of the court" fund to seek federal
       or state felony prosecution for grade tampering, surrogate students,
       etc.
    
    That'd clean things right up.  And before you bleeding heart liberals
    start bleating keep in mind that this is how it'd be done in Japan,
    Singapore, France, Germany, etc. IMNSHO.
     
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.476                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 476 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna must be CAUGHT!"    21 lines  23-MAR-1990 14:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I already supplied two sources which verified the fact (not claim,
    >fact).
     
    This in fact is not fact, but simply a claim.  Give me a reference,
    I don't believe you.  When one sez "a top 10 team" one clearly refers
    to the rankings, not something Dick Vitale might or might not have
    bleated into his mike.
    
    I don't believe teams' ranking status is set now by Dick Vitale.
    They're set generally by AP and USA Today, with some influence by
    the TSN and CNN and ESPN polls. 
    
    The facts (not claims) show that Indiana was NOT a "top 10 team"
    during the preseason, and the references are there to look it up
    in any library.  Right now you've only supplied an almost irrelevant
    and highly questionable unsubstantiated claim.
             
    Still waitin' for your retractions on the best NCAA tourney winning
    percentage thing, though.  Are you man enough?
    
    Big10 Tom                                     
================================================================================
Note 25.561                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 561 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          21 lines   4-APR-1990 13:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well well well I am SO pleased to see the Almost Close folk in here
    running their hands over their latest passel of Excellent Losses.
    
    ACConfessed, you, among all, must be especially pleased with this
    year's Sweet 16 choke job, which put that star-crossed program back
    on track.  And with this recruiting class, which some are calling
    the best ever, 'Snuffy will have more underachievement potential
    than ever at his, er, disposal.
    
    Personally, I was rooting for the Running Rabble.  I mean, the Yellow
    Hackers I could't root for seeing that their ACC official friends
    managed to get them a win after having clearly lost, so they didn't
    belong there in the first place.  But the Running Rabble represent all 
    that is Right with today's college athletics: a bunch of subliterate
    thugs who revel in it.  
    
    Honesty, I like that.
    
    At least you have a_excuse this time 'round.  That's progress.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.569                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 569 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          35 lines   5-APR-1990 11:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >25%... Sweet 16 ... Excellent 8 ... whopping 50% ... choking...
    
    However you cut it, ACConfessed, everybody has accepted that a
    ACC-dominated officiating crew robbed the Big10 of a Final Four
    appearance by taking away a_already won game and handing it over
    to the YellowWhackers.
    
    The most egregious type of officiating mistake is the error made
    after a game is already over.  Those don't go both ways, and they
    don't even up.  In terms of tourney games, the two worst of all
    time have both happened to State.  One was in Kemper Arena, when
    a homeboy clock operator cheated.  That one wasn't so bad, cuz
    the situation was outta the officials' hands to some extent.  
    
    But what happened this year was inexcsable.  It wasn't even close.
    As the buzzer sounded Anderson was only beggining his shooting motion.
    The buzzer quit sounding as he released his shot.  The call was
    at least a second late.  Not even close.
    
    So, put a_asterisk next to these percentages you're pumping out.
    
    And congrat's on how many Excellent Losses you guys have to pass
    around this year.  How long's it been now?  How many years?
    
    re: preseason rankings
    
    Well, I said all along that this year was largely a rebuilding
    year for the Big10.  Very deep, but no great team except for Michigan,
    who's so poorly coached as to be on a good team.
    
    I do feel that State had the best shot at knocking off UNLV, but
    they're a young team and certainly woulda been underdogs so who
    knows...
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.582                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 582 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"           7 lines   5-APR-1990 13:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >This is the same Jeff Sagarin that Mr T [sic] so blatantly triumphed
    >[sic] in this tope (see .113) and about other college basketball
    >topics.
    
    That's right TTom.  What of it?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.585                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 585 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          14 lines   5-APR-1990 13:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >This member of "everybody has not accepted that ACC dominance 
    >in anyway [sic] contributed to this controversy.
    
    That's good, TTom, cuz I wouldn't accept that either.  What I WOULD
    say is accepted is that 2 of the 3 officials were Almost Close
    officials and that there's no real "controversy" about whether or
    not State was robbed on a_obvious call.
    
    >you've toned down your "bought-em-off" lunacy.
    
    No I ain't toned down nothing.  I'm sure if you go back to my comment
    you'll finally notice that it was a fair and reasonable statement.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.588                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 588 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          11 lines   5-APR-1990 13:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >So you admit the ACC was stronger than the B10 this year?
    
    What are you getting at, exackally?  I ain't gonna answer one of
    these carefully crafted vague queries of yours.  In light of your
    well-documented sneaky behavior over the last few months certainly
    you cain understand my caution on this.
    
    I got burned bad [sic] when I bellied up to the bar one the 80s
    question 6 months ago.  Ain't gonna get jobbed again.
    
    Big10 MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.593                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 593 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 85 lines   5-APR-1990 14:42
                       -< well, here's your answers... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>    Why can't you answer the question,T???  
 
So now a question is unanswerable the moment it's axed?  How cain this be?
Answer me that.    

>this will help frame your embarassment... In note 25.113, back in January 
>(when the Big10 was riding high) you posted ratings from a Mr. Jeff Sagarin 

Yes yes.  This is true.

>who, as you so thoughtfully  pointed out, is highly credible, 

No no, not quite true.

>so much so that his power ratings are  used by the NCAA selection committee.
    
I only pointed out this fack.  That much is true.  Your imputation isn't,
though.

>Mr. TTom just posted Sagarin's end-of-season ratings

True true.

>showing the ACC to clearly have finished in the numero uno position.
    
Only true if you don't accept as true what everybody accepts as such on the 
tape of the final moments of the Tech-State clash.

>Given your initial endorsement of Mr. Sagarin, (when the B10 was on top) 

Falsehood (as in dirty lie).  QUOTE me where I ever "endorsed" Sagarin.  All
I said was that the data are objective (which they are) and that they're used
by the NCAA, for better or for worse. 

>are you now willing to state that the ACC was the #1 conference?

Not under the confused terms of the query, no certainly not.

>(Do you have a choice?)
 
Yes.   
    
BobHunt>A simple yes or no question, nothing vague about it ...

Given the falsehoods and vagaries just pointed out by me on this,
Bob Hunt, you must agree that you're wrong and that indeed there IS
quite a lot "vague about it."

BobHunt>Do you acknowledge the validity of Jeff Sagarin's most recent
BobHunt>listing of college basketball conference power ratings ???   

In what context?  To what effect?  I'm unable to answer these questions
given the artifice being spouted by you ACC bigots.

>Is Sagarin's list valid ???  

Good question.  I've given some thought to this myself.

BobHunt>If you choose to dispute his listing, however, then please tell us why
BobHunt>you felt compelled to post an earlier one of his listings in reply .113

I'll try.  I'm widely hailed as a gentleman who ain't afraid to axe AND ANSWER
the tough questions facing sports analysts today; and as such I'm champing at 
the bits to answer this question. 

But I'm afraid I cain't given the sloppy framing given the question, which I'm
sure you understand.
    
   � I got burned bad [sic] when I bellied up to the bar one the 80s
   � question 6 months ago.  Ain't gonna get jobbed again.
    
BobHunt>The crushing grip of reason got you.  Not to mention the "Great
BobHunt>Big Ten Whitewash Of 1982-1986" where *none* of the Big Ten teams
BobHunt>made it to the final dance.    

No, I got burned.  Especially by you, who's spent the intervening months
fostering the false impression that I don't accepts unfavorable facts even
if established.  

As we've seen it's ACCaught and Dan who're left obdurately facing down
unfavorable data.  Not me.  

Now ain't that a_ironic hoot for ya?

Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.597                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 597 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 15 lines   5-APR-1990 15:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I want to answer this question.  But I'm in a quandary.  It's as
    if I'm standing, checkbook in hand, hoping to buy some meaty substance
    in a butcher shop owned and operated by a bunch of ex-con forgerers
    who learned the butchery trade in one a those occupational training
    programs they run in our nation's fine penal institutions.
    
    Take ACCaught, for instance.  I catch him in a dirty rotten stinking
    fib, demand that he back it up with fact... and he has the nerve
    to accuse *moi* of obfuscation.  Hoi hoi hoi!
    
    I dare you to own up to the fine facks on this, ACConfessed.  I
    won't even bother with Bob Hunt, cuz he's a cheep shot artist and
    my kidneys are bruised enough without going thru a butcher shop!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.599                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 599 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 16 lines   5-APR-1990 15:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >just what exactly is an "unfavorable fact", [sic] O Most Lordly
    >Objective One ???
     
    Easy.  A_unfavorable fact is a conditional expression of how a
    fact relates to a_individual person. 
    
    Let us try a_example to illustrate:
    
    "The fact of overall NCAA tournament winning percentage
    turned out to be quite unfavorable to Dan and ACCaught, and made
    them look foolish."
                       
    This help?  Does it clear up your phony and intellectually bankrupt
    faux confusion?
    
    Mr. Big10 T
================================================================================
Note 25.603                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 603 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 28 lines   6-APR-1990 09:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >No, to me a fact is a fact is a fact.
    
    Well then ya got one very serious rhetorical problem there. 
    
    Saying that is like saying "a chemical is a chemical is a chemical."
    Context, bud.  CONTEXT.  See in 3-D not 2-D.  
    
    Yes you cain strip things down to their bare essentials but to do
    that is to take away their meanings, which leaves you contemplating
    a_apple core and me savoring the apple meat, even the nectar when
    a particularly sweet one is happened upon (as with the example given
    in my last note on this).
    
    re: ACConfessed
    
    Then, by conceding that there is no significant statistical difference
    between 'Snuff and Bob on tourney winning percentage you implicitly
    retract all the conclusions you had earlier based on that mistaken
    assumption?  
    
    That would only be reasonable.
    
    Lemme know cuz then we got to work on how that equivalency plays
    into another category where there is a rather large embarrassing
    delta (3::1, 30::19).
    
    Big10 Tom
    
================================================================================
Note 25.605                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 605 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 22 lines   6-APR-1990 09:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    So then.  I take it we all agree that a big bold asterisk should
    be placed next to Tech's tainted Final Four appearance, thus 
    imbueing it with the proper amount of cheapness it deserves (a lot).
                                                                        
    Imagine what a screw job it was for State and the Big10 this time
    around.  Not long ago they keep extending the game until the homeboys
    cain finally "win" over State in Kemper.  This year, they send the
    Big10 champs and the team generally regarded as the conference's best 
    NOT to Indianapolis but to a naval port o' call smack in the heart
    of ACCountry to play a game against a_ACC team officiated by ACC refs...
    
    ... and the results were predictable: The most obvious and outrageous
    piece of home cookin', perhaps, in the history of the college game.
    And another one of those "keep extending the game 'til the right
    team wins" type of screw jobs.  You know, the kind that don't go
    both ways, the kind that don't even up. 
             
    Thankfully, at least, there isn't much argument about the nature
    and extremity of the call, only about how such a stupid mistake
    could have been "honestly" made.
                                          
    Big10 Tom                       
================================================================================
Note 25.609                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 609 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 20 lines   6-APR-1990 11:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ACCaught, even you have admitted that it was a robbery.  So, that being
    true, we cain go on to determine - not in terms of offical W-Ls but
    in terms of which conference is stronger - that State indeed beat Tech,
    and that they therefore automatically qualified one team for the Final 
    Four, the same number as the Almost Close Conference.
    
    Add that to the fourth of the Sweet 16 and the half a Final Four we had 
    last year - the only asterisk there being that Kansas won by screw job 
    over State - it's shown that the Big10 in a down year matched the ACC,
    and in a good year flat dominated.
    
    Btw, if you wanna take this year's tourney output to compare conferences, 
    using artificial results or Reality, then I assume that the bulk of
    your analytical efforts are surely aimed squarely at the Big Least, who
    placed nobody in the Final Four and their games ended with the buzzer
    just like the Rule Book sez...
    
    Big10 Tom
    
    
================================================================================
Note 25.610                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 610 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst"   1 line   6-APR-1990 11:21
                      -< and don't forget the Big Grate >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 25.612                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 612 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10: Conference of the 80s"   46 lines   6-APR-1990 13:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Michigan was loaded...
    
    True.  Right up there on the SyrExcuse/Gougetown/UNLV/Missou talent
    level IMNSHO.  But horribly coached.
    
    >Illinois strong...
    
    Hardly.  They'd lost much of their front-line and went to jucos and 
    subs to backfill.
    
    >IU a Top 15 team...
    
    In one of many polls.  These preseason national polls tend to reflect
    what happened last year.  IU was chosen to finish mid-pack in the
    Big10, for they too had lost a star to hardship and were basically 
    one of the youngest teams ever seen.
    
    >Ohio State landed...
    
    One player does not a team make.  
    
    >Iowa came out strong...
    
    The Hawkeyes were seen as a team ravaged by graduation.  They 
    didn't lose people to injuries this year so much as finally get
    them back (Bullard), much like State (Peplowski, et al).
    
    No, besides Michigan the league was seen as one of young potential.
    Turned out experience paid off in the league with the well coached
    veteran Boilers and Gophs, but IMNSHO overall the conference this 
    year was down from 88-89.
    
    Didn't really have a vet squad that was also talented and well 
    coached this year.
    
    The proof is in the pudding, as Bob Hunt likes to point out, and
    that means that last year even after getting jobbed in Kemper we
    placed 2 in the Final Four and won It All, while this year we
    only qualified one. 
    
    Down year.  Be better next year.  Watch out for State and State,
    especially.  The Wolves should be tough too.  And the Hoosiers could
    surprise some people.
    
    Big10 Tom
             
================================================================================
Note 25.626                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 626 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 11 lines   9-APR-1990 09:15
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    The always classy Lefty Dreissel was slapped with a sexual harrassment
    suit by his ex-secretary.  Sez he was crude with her, caused here
    mental and physical strain.
    
    Whoo.  Maybe ol' Lefty was cracking jokes about cadaver cover-ups or 
    sumpin.  Add this to NC Skate forking over a quarter mill just to rid
    themselves of SnaggleTooth the cheat-ass and shake in the departure of 
    the truly classy Terry Holland and you see a_ill wind blowing in the
    land of the Almost Close of late.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.628                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 628 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst"  5 lines   9-APR-1990 11:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Gee TTom, I'm awful [sic] sorry to see you engage in personal cheap
    shot artistry, but hey, whatever makes your wheels turn.  And frankly
    I cain understand why you'd be surly today of all days.  
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.631                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 631 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 39 lines  10-APR-1990 08:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You two sound like oily Philadelphia lawyers seeking to rob a_old
    innocent widow of her life savings by declaring her incompetent and
    attempting to have her forcibly committed.
    
    Lefty Dreissel coached in the Almost Close for a very long period
    of time.  The only reason his latest sleazoidal excapade [sic] was
    reported was cuz of his fame achieved in that once pristine conference.
    
    So, if I'm "attacking" anything by reporting the facks, then could you
    all please copy me on your letters of complaint sent to the AP, UPI,
    USA Today, ESPN, etc.?
    
    As for the Great Carolina Basketball Riot, Bob Hunt exhibits duplicity
    by denying the connection: The selfsame state government that went
    totally spineless through several Jimmy Vulva scandals also decided to
    avert its eyes when it came to *that* tawdry little example of perverted
    values in sports.
    
    As for my Nawlins mistake (GAWD they're few and far between!), the
    major point stands: The Big10 Champ is forced to go to a mildewed naval
    port o' call instead of Naptown.  Then, they're forced to play in front
    of a_ACC officiating crew, who pulled what most now consider the biggest
    screw job in the history of the NCAA tourney.  It was so bad, SO obvious,
    and *SO* extraordinary given that it was the second time in a row for
    State, that the Authorities have admitted this egregious "error" and are
    considering use of instant replay to avoid it happening yet again.
    
    All that has to do with the refs' conference affiliation, not the site
    of the game.
    
    Btw, what kind of men seem to endorse riots, sexual harrassment, cutting 
    scholarships cuz of torn up knees, cash payoffs, test faking and grade 
    tampering?
    
    You two don't seem to share the sentiments of your own State Legislators,
    who are willing to spend a quarter million of your hard earned taxpayer
    dollaras just to rid themselves of that souless little devil.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.633                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 633 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"          112 lines  10-APR-1990 11:49
              -< STOP this rathole started by Bob Hunt & TTom !! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>This coming from one of the slipperiest "lawyers" this conference
>has *ever* seen as we all witnessed over in that endless Note 110 farce.

I was approached by several of ACConfessed victims about doing The Trial.
Then the crooked contest operator himself demanded the trial.  Go complain
to them.  All I did was a fine job of presenting the evidence, culminating
in ACCaught's contrite confession from the stand.

>So, what this means now in T-Land, I guess, is that *all* former coaches 
>and their alleged sins bode ill for their former conference's image, right ???

No, that would be stupid across-the-board logic.  Cain you quote me where I
said such a thing?  [no]

>So, if it's open season on the ACC because Driesell

"Open season?"  Reporting fact is going hunting all of a sudden?

>then say we set up a George Raveling, Johnny Orr, Bill Frieder, Gary Williams, 
>Jim Dutcher, and Eldon Miller purity watch and we make sure that wherever they 
>are and whatever they do, we relate it back to the Big Ten ???

See, I told you it'd be stupid logic.  

>So, if Raveling gets a speeding ticket 

Bob Hunt, are you a sexist?  How cain you equate sexual harrassment to a lousy
speeding tickets and library fines?

>Gawd, T, you'll have us worshipping Tipper Gore in no time.

How do you feel about unconstitutional drug tests?

>No such letter forthcoming from me.   If you're right, you're right.  If 
>Driesell is in trouble, then he is JMU's problem.  And JMU plays in the 
>Colonial Conference, not the ACC.

Lefty Dreissel attempted to cover up a drug-related death, and one of your
midlantic states decided to look the other way from that particular felony.
Ditto for the ACC Commissioner.

Boy, you guys spend years mulling over Bob's "lay back and enjoy it" faux
pas, yet wink your eyes at the real thing: sexual harrassment.

>Again, T confuses the facts with his "facks".  [sic]

There is no distinction between these two things.  Are you mocking my accent?

>Two small Southern black colleges, NC Central and NC A&T, have a nasty rumble.

Rumble my ass.  The entire gym was caught up in a riot.  The best estimates
were that between 250-300 people participated in it, slamming chairs over one
anothers haids and worse, finally attacking and beating police officers.
 
>{Maybe they had been watching some old videotapes of Minnesota and Ohio State 
>back in 1972 for some pointers on some really good rumble techniques.}   

Probably not, seeing that no fans got involved there, and also that the Bill
Musselman, his coaching staff, the Athletic Dept., and the university all 
were punished for that outrageous incident.

>The state government in North Carolina or the state college administration or 
>whatever "state" something or other doesn't do exactly what T demands they do 
>and the next thing you know, it's the ACC out of control all over again.

"T demands?"  What about moral and ethical behavior?  What about priorities?
Perhaps in the New South those running things still prefer to apply lower
standards to blacks, a pernicious form of racism if there ever was one.

>New Orleans is a "mildewed naval port o' call" ???   T, I suggest you fire 
>your travel agent pronto.   They must have sent you to Norfolk instead.

No, I was clearly referring to Norfolk.   

>As for the Michigan State "screw job", all the Spartans have left is "woulda,
>shoulda, coulda".  [sic]

Wrong.  What they had is the game won when the buzzer went off as Anderson
was still in the initial stages of taking his shot.  The defender back off
and, as the ball's flight began and the buzzer continued buzzing, the State
players began clapping their hands in victory.

Until the ACC head official and Cremins locked eyes and reversed the outcome
with a call that wasn't even close.
    
>T, of course, conveniently forgets that Valvano had a *CONTRACT* that called 
>for *HALF* a million dollars if NC State fired him without just cause.

All contracts have buyout clauses nowadays.  They also have compliance clauses,
or should.  What happened in Carolina is that Vulva was in non-compliance with
his contract but the state's "leaders" didn't have the courage to sue him for
non-compliance.  These same people who swept the Great Carolina Basketball Riot
under the proverbial political rug chose rewarding this crooked toothed little
crook with a quarter million dollars over forcing a show down (i.e., they chose
good press over good priorities).

The Almost Close should follow the lead of the Big10, where violating the
behavior codes of the conference AND the univeristy at which he works consitutes
abrogation of contract and thereby just cause for dismissal.  

Also, they should follow our latest ethical innovation taken by the Big10 out
of frustration with the NCAA's lackadaisacal enforcement of the rules:  If one
gets caught making cash payments to athletes, the state of jurisdiction is
encouraged to press felony charges for embezzlement (Luther Darville in Minn.,
the baseball coach in Mich.)

Of course, this is only possible with state schools, so Jesuit-run conferences
like the Big Beast couldn't imitate this if they wanted to.

But it's fair to say we won't see Tark taking a Big10 job in the future.

Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.635                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 635 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            24 lines  11-APR-1990 08:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >IF
    
    That's right: You said "IF" the guy got the speeding ticket then
    you at least would find that equivalent to sexual harrassment.
    Almost everybody speeds and, in Bob Hunt World, apparently almost
    everybody commits genderist [sic] crimes as well.
    
    >unconstituional drug tests... they are illegal.
    
    No, they are legal.  This is why the 4th Amendment (?) died, not
    in the name of national security or transportation safety or some
    such, but in the interests of winning athletic teams.  All big-time
    teams, both pro and college, test for use of recreational drugs.
    
    >to its analogous conclusion
    
    To its mistaken conclusion, for it's based on a false equation, in
    this case abuse of institutional power to intimidate a_employee into 
    granting sexual favors being equivalent to going 75 MPH in a 55.  
    
    Either you feel VERY strongly about traffic law or you're a genderist.
    Both ways I wrinkle my high brow at you...
    
    MrT  
================================================================================
Note 25.637                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 637 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            28 lines  11-APR-1990 11:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >No one but T equated recklessness and sexism
    
    This is completely false.  To wit:
    
    I said a_ill wind's blowing in the ACC what with snaggletooth and,
    yes yes, that old ACC star Lefty Dreisell's recent sex abuse charge.
    Then, by way of false analogy, the apparent genderist Bob Hunt wrote
    these words:
    
    >if Raveling gets a speeding ticket... then we all know that the 
    >Big Ten is nothing but a bunch of reckless, lying, and delinquent
    >deadbeats...
    
    Now, I think we all cain agree that his analogy is fallacious, for
    it seeks to establish two things: 1) that referring to a_ill wind
    in a conference is the same as flatly stating that specific individuals
    are reckless lying thieves and, 2) that sex abuse is the moral equivalent 
    of speeding (not to mention incurring overdue library fines).
    
    Neither is true, though it is true that Bob Hunt, in his ongoing wierd
    quest to twist and pervert and misrepresent, did try to establish each
    as such.
    
    So, either I'm right and he was only kidding, or I'm right and he thinks
    speeding and library fines are no less serious than sex crimes - something
    I just cain't accept in my *own* ethos.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.639                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 639 of 924
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            14 lines  11-APR-1990 13:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    However you cut it, Bob Hunt (such a_appropriate name!), I was talking
    sports and you came cudgeling along with unsolicited evalutions of thy
    neighbor, me.
    
    I ought to turn you into the Values Valuing Valuable Difference Central
    Committee.  No, not cuz you claimed that rape and overdue library fines
    are morally equivalent, but cuz everytime you see a sports opinion or,
    in this case fact, you don't like, instead of valuing the valuable
    differnces involved you launch into a public personal attack with
    predictable results.
    
    You should improve your noting.  And quit misquoting people willya.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 25.642                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 642 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             39 lines  12-APR-1990 08:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T,are you related to Dr. M???
    
    Of course Doc and I are distant relatives.  After all, we're both
    black characters.
    
    >Or can you?
    
    I've already outlined where Bob-the-Victim-Hunt made that equation.
    
    He made the false analogy that transgressions of ex-Big10 coaches such 
    as speeding tickets, library fines, etc. would attach to that fine 
    conference much as Lefty Dreissel's sex abuse charge was related by me
    back to the troubled ACC.
    
    Now, if he had limited himself to coaches who spent the bulk of their
    careers in the Big10 (Orr, Frieder) then he woulda avoided one mistake.
    He didn't.
    
    More important, if had had said "if Orr gets nailed for sex harrassment"
    then he woulda avoided this larger second error of logic.
    
    But, as is always the case with Bob-the-Witch-Hunt in his attacks on me,
    he cast aside good faith and any healthy respect for factuality in his
    throbbing urge to hurt me.
    
    His speeding ticket/overdue library fines examples were used to define
    that if it applies one way it therefore applies the other way.  The
    mistake is that it ignores transgression severity altogether.  And that
    is sick.  
    
    It's ill to say that minor infractions should be given the same
    treatment as work rape, and with twisted perverted insensitive thinking
    like Bob Hunt's "a_ill wind's blowing in the ACC." 
     
    Either his analogy was flawed or the examples within it were.  If he
    cain give a morally responsible example within this anlogy, if, then
    and only then am I rhetorically required to deal with it on that level.
    
    Big10 MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.644                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 644 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             12 lines  12-APR-1990 08:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Would it, T ???
    
    No, certainly not.
    
    And before you go off on me again, please factually objectively
    note that all I said was "a_ill wind's blowing in the ACC" and
    didn't cast ANY of the aspersions that you reflect in your
    hyperbolic "examples."
    
    Get real willya.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.646                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 646 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             10 lines  12-APR-1990 09:31
                                    -< ha >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Assuming my above summation is correct...
    
    Now that would be a rotten summation.
    
    Go back and check my text and "get real" enough to note that I
    mentioned, as I recall, 3 factors powering the ill wind a blowin'.
    
    NOW let the readership decide who's real.
    
    MrT (I raise my clenched fist in Victory) 
================================================================================
Note 25.652                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 652 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            5 lines  12-APR-1990 13:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I can't say as I'm thrilled with this move...
    
    See note 15.83 over and out.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.656                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 656 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            5 lines  12-APR-1990 13:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    And there's a_ACC connection with Miami built in already.
    
    Wasn't Tito Horford a scholar-athlete at both Miami and NCSU?
    
    Big11 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.659                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 659 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            8 lines  12-APR-1990 14:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    No sympathy here, 'Confessed.
    
    In terms of all-time Big10 gridiron W-L percentage, Indiana ranks
    11th.
    
    And now, they'll have to face up to the Nittany Lions.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.669                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 669 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           36 lines  13-APR-1990 09:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >MrT blasts the ACC...
    
    Sound the Falsehood Alarm (sigh).  Fack is, all I said was "a_ill
    wind's a blowin' in the ACC." 
    
    >cause the James Madison hoops coach...
    
    Are all you Southern Men trained to accept a_Ed Meese-style world 
    view.  Let's spruce up your moral memory here, bub: "cause the James
    Madison hoops coach, Lefty Dreissel, who attempted to obstruct justice
    in a drug death by instructing his players to commit felonies by lying
    to the police, and who went uncharged by the State of Maryland, the
    county, and who went uncensured by the ACC Commissioner's Office, and
    who was welcomed with open arms by a private college in the D.C. area, 
    was accused of sexual harrassment."
    
    There.
    
    re: Bob Hunt
    
    I *axed* if the scholar-athlete Tito went through Raleligh, didn't
    say he did.
    
    >common ground
    
    Don't take this too fast, ACC.  Indiana's gridiron program has been
    on the rebound with the ex-Buffalo coach Bill Mallory at the helm;
    we've made several bowl appearances over the past 15 years and,
    unlike Bo, we've won a lot of them, including George Rogers' Gamecocks,
    btw.
    
    I'm surprised nobody axed how it is that the Hoosiers cain be 11th out
    of the Big10 (answer: U. Chicago).
    
    Big10 MrT
    
================================================================================
Note 25.672                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 672 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"           6 lines  13-APR-1990 09:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I'm plannin' a trip to MN sometime in the next decad
    
    You should come on up sooner.  It's the nicest metro area in the
    United States (which nowadays ain't necessarily saying much).
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.677                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 677 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"           8 lines  13-APR-1990 10:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Course it's no Atlanta
    
    Which is why I live up here.  Me, I wouldn't be comfortable living
    with the kind of delineation made by Interstate 20.
    
    Nice town, but not the near perfection its booseters present it as.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.680                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 680 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             60 lines  16-APR-1990 09:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Would you 2 quit being civil to each other. Will somebody please
    >agitate a little.
    
    Happy to.  
    
    A major sign of moral degeneracy in a declining society is the
    narrowing definition of truth and justice it accepts.  Is there a
    world center, a vortex if you will, for these dark tides?  Well,
    consider these geographical phenomena:
    
    1. ACCaught earns his name by tearfully confessing before the
       court that he cheated his contestants.
    
    2. ACConfessed is then declared insane by a jury of his peers and
       haughtily sneers that he's been cleared.
    
    or...
    
    1. Jimmy "Why are my teef so doggoned crooked?" Vulvano's pushy lawyer
       sends registered letters to the nation's publishing houses containing
       threats that if anybody prints Golenbock's expose they'll be sued out
       of business the same day.
    
    2. The book is printed, and the lawyer only issues a meekly worded half
       denial (guess why).
    
    3. TTom, months later, is in here beating on a certain objective sports
       analyst on how the only thing we may criticize with ol' Snaggletooth
       is that his players sold their comp tickets.
    
    or...
    
    1. A basketball riot involving 300 fans, players, and coaches takes
       place.
    
    2. The State of North Carolina looks the other way and applies a half-
       hearted wrist slap to the schools.
    
    3. Despite the fack that this same state pays off a crooked coach with
       a quarter million bucks to avoid having the truth intrude upon the
       taxpayers, ACC noters vehemently, and irrelevantly, proclaim that
       the two riot schools aren't in the ACConference.
    
    or...
    
    1. Star player croaks from coke.
    
    2. Star coach commits felony by directing youths under his direction to
       commit felonies.
    
    3. No felony prosecutions, for the money people at least.
    
    4. Area school jumps at opportunity to hire felonious coach.  Not a
       peep is heard from area residents, who are too busy replacing spurious
       Cold War industries with spurious Drug War industries.
    
    There's more, but I'm not sure I'm up to sinking this offal-stained
    shovel of mine into the Clemson story.  Is this enough?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.687                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 687 of 924
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           21 lines  16-APR-1990 12:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >that was a real lame effort to agitate.
    
    Nearly a 200-liner fraught with mistakes from Bob Hunter and you're
    gonna sit there and criticize?
    
    >basically old news 
    
    I'm forced to stick with the facts as they exist in the real world,
    which means that until some new sleazy bit of ACC history unfolds if
    you axe for agitation it's gonna have to be one of these or certain
    other sordid sagas that I must use.
    
    >your data on this matter [sic] are inaccurate.
    
    Then the data used by NCSU administrators is similarly accurate.  If
    they believed that the only crime Vulvaface pulled was selling comp
    tix they'd be erecting a statue to him instead of running his ugly face
    outta the state on a rail, now wouldn't they.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
                   
================================================================================
Note 25.694                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 694 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           15 lines  17-APR-1990 11:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >scholarship = peanuts; players = millions of $
    
    Before you get carried away, please note that if these kids who're
    supposedly have a_inherent commerical worth in the millions, consider
    that if they weren't associated with universities they'd be one step
    down from the CBA.
    
    I agree that players should be paid some dough; I also think that when
    they implement that rule they also implement vastly increased minimum
    entrance/maintenance academic standards, cuz the constant publicity 
    before the nation's youth of what amounts to a group of dummies is too
    causing too much damage to the nation's long-term prospect for economic 
    well-being (good for TV operators, though).
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 25.699                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 699 of 924
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           29 lines  17-APR-1990 13:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >neither is a Valvano
    
    No, the awful VulvaFace at leasrt wasn't a severely damaging 
    hypocrite.  He was only a straight ahead pro hoops coach placed 
    by fate in a_obstensibly amateur academic environment.
    
    Ever wonder why the media fell into line so happily behind these
    two hypocrites?  The book is that they did it to protect their 
    hoops broadcasting profits.
    
    No, they did it to keep African-Americans by and large real dumb 
    and uneducated just like they like them to be.  What better ad for
    such self-inflicted defeatism than John, John, and Mars Blackman?
    
    Hey, if Patrick Ewing only needed a place to learn how to read and
    write and do long division, that's why God created high schools, but
    is that any reason to assign whole generations of lower class youths
    to glorified dummies and negative educational ethos?  [no]
    
    Moreover, let the record show that the nation's universities and 
    colleges are there for kids of any class who're smart enough to turn
    off the damned boob tube and crack a book; and that these schools don't
    owe ignoramous slam-dunkers anything but their well-earned and total
    disrespect.
    
    Youth.  Impressionable.  Malleable.  Bad examples.  Wrong conclusions.
    Contemporary history of ghetto education.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 25.702                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 702 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    33 lines  19-APR-1990 12:22
                       -< Terry Holland: Moulder of Men >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    From Newsday's Jan Hubbard on Ralph Sampson:
    
    For those who have not been paying attention, Sampson currently resides,
    in street clothes, on the Sacramento King's bench.  A couple of weeks
    ago, the Kings decided there was no use in taking Sampson on road trips
    because his chronically weak knees would not allow him to play.  They
    figured he could stay at home and work on his rehabilitation.
    
    Sampson's response was to not put on his uniform for home games.  Last
    month, in fact, when he was still suiting up, he refused to enter a
    game in which the outcome already was decided.  Sampson thus made
    eloquent statements on why parents should teach children that athletes
    are not role models.  
    
    Bob Braswich, a reporter for the Sacramento Bee, suggested in a column
    last week that it would be appropriate for Sampson to consider
    retirement.  That was not exactly a radical idea, and Graswich was able
    to reach that conclusion without collaboration from Sampson.  
    
    But Sampson apparently wanted to provide input.  When denied the
    opportunity, he responded by confronting Graswich and stating that any
    opinion on Sampson's future without prior consultation from Sampson
    would result in Sampson's fist being forcibly thrust into Graswich's
    mouth.  
    
    No doubt, it is difficult for a gifted athlete to accept physical
    limitations... But he should realize it is neither an offense nor an
    original idea to suggest that retirement is a possibility. 
    
    Besides, Sampson's actions are more detrimental to his image than
    anyone else's words.  Critics long have said he has no class.  Lately,
    Sampson has provided ample evidence that they have been right.
                                                                 
================================================================================
Note 25.708                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 708 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             21 lines  19-APR-1990 14:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T-hypocrisy... pure hypocrisy... proof... nasty vendetta...
    
    Hey *guys*, chill out willya.  All poor MrT did was type in a_article
    and all of a sudden I'm a demon?!  I didn't put this article which I
    didn't write into the pro hoops note or the Sacramento whatever note
    cuz I wouldn't even know where to find them and anyway I thought it'd
    be touching for you midlantic guys to hear how one of your scholar-
    athletes is faring in the world of work.
    
    As for my title, I was only mocking Dan Schneider's rotten self-serving
    logic.  I've always liked Terry, I put him up there with the Bobs and
    'Snuffy Smifs as one of the true class acts in a_otherwise sordid sold
    out shabby vista of college hoops.
    
    re: role models
    
    They're supposedly role models cuz the industry (media included) very
    much want them to be.  It's a marketing ploy.  Ever hear of free
    publicity?  This is why those United Way ads should be banned by law.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.710                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 710 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "DAMM = DrunksAgainstMadMothers"    2 lines  19-APR-1990 15:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
================================================================================
Note 25.717                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 717 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              8 lines  20-APR-1990 10:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I shur cain't figger out why .701 was never discust in this here
    >note.
    
    Axe Hoot.  He brought up George Rogers, I ain't never discussed
    that mediocrity in my life.  It's up to the Hootster to deal with
    TTom on .701, now ain't it? 
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.724                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 724 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              14 lines  24-APR-1990 08:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Speaking a fine people, I sure as heck hope this new Robinson guy
    at NCSU pans out.  I mean, third time's a charm, right?  First it
    was Norm, then Jimmy.  Things HAVE to get better.
    
    State, probably more than any other college hoops program, stood as
    a_example to others that walking the edge, pushing the envelope, so
    to speak, pays off big, in terms of exposure, money and, most
    importantly, NCAA Men's Basketball National Championships.
    
    ENOUGH of this bad explamplism from a fine school like State; it's
    time for them to get their act together and become a *good* example
    instead, and that's this Robinson guy's job.
    
    Big10 UltraBigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.730                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 730 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    13 lines  24-APR-1990 12:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    .727 is the sweet, quintessential, purified, concentrated nectar 
    that surely fills the well from which MrT dreams of sipping once 
    my bechained big-hearted chest is inevitably inducted into Heaven.
     
    GOD what a thigh-shudderer the content of .727 is!
    
    Here's a thought: Mebbe all them choke-job Excellent Losses in the
    Sweet 16 were somehow related to this apparent coaching deficiency;
    mebbe that embarrassing 1::30 ratio ain't so "inexplicable" after all.
    
    Eric Montross shoulda played it smart and enrolled at Purdue, I'd say.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.733                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 733 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              16 lines  24-APR-1990 12:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .732
    
    What a crock of mealy-mouthed double talk.  If you tapped dance any
    faster your pants would fall down around your ankles, which wouldn't
    be such a bad thing given the ankle-grabbing scenario due any Star
    Heel alum when the ol' Underachievement/Overachievement argument crops
    up.
    
    Hey 'Caught, even ruling out the talent factor, how would you read
    1::30 vs. 3::19 with a better overall tourney winning percentage?
    What would YOU infer from such a_awesome delta?
    
    Is it time to evict a certain interloper from the Pantheon?  Or is
    that tourist trap in Cleveland only interloping itself?  Haw haw HA.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.741                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 741 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              27 lines  24-APR-1990 15:17
                         -< Go Bob!  Outshine Smif'! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >you owe me.
    
    Why I certainly do, Bob Hunt.  But perhaps, given the pain and
    suffering you've inflicted upon me the past few months, you could
    cancel this modest debt?
    
    >Thypocrisy (tm)
    
    I don't see any contradiction at all: Some players, the extremely
    talented ones, proved able to overcome 'Snuff's mediocre coaching,
    the mere H.S. All-America blue chippers weren't so lucky...
    
    Here's a_innocent question:
    
    		
    
    
    		Do you think Bob's big men (few though they are)
    	 	learned the pick n' roll while with the Hoosiers?
    
    Theoretical question, I guess.  I don't think any of Bob's front-line
    men were ever tall or talented enough to get into the NBA.  I mean,
    Kent Benson *has* died of old age by now, hasn't he?
    
    Heeeee !!
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.742                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 742 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              15 lines  24-APR-1990 15:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wale, it was a doggoned productive day here in 25 for all of us.
    
    Again, my deepest thanks to that writer in Charleston and to Bob
    Hunt and to all the other correspondents who shared their wisdom
    on this with me.  You all helpt me reach a thunderous series of 
    repeated mental orgasms today.  Heck, my haid's *still* throbbing!
    
    Think I'll lay back and enjoy a long slow cigarette... and I don't
    even smoke (cigarettes, that is).  
    
    Hey 'Caught, you still standing?  Question I wanna axe: You ever 
    heard of a_Oriental concept called Karma?
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
                   
================================================================================
Note 25.749                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 749 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              23 lines  25-APR-1990 07:53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >not one... note in my defense
    
    That's cuz folks hereabouts have integrity on objective sporting
    issues, 'Caught.
    
    Regarding Montross, not only is he tall (lotsa people are) but he has
    the build and the hand-foot basic skills.  That's what's rare: A tall
    player who's also well-built and cain move his feet and/or hands
    without a 1 second lag time between the snynapse firing upstairs and
    the limb moving down below.  
    
    We'll see how good he is.  Going back to 'Confessed's empty complaint
    that we're contradicting ourselves cuz some Smif' chips make it and
    some don't: The key question with Eric is whether he has enough talent
    and ambition to survive 'Snuff's mediocre coaching.  Is he good enough
    to pick up the basics while a_NBA rookie and blossom thereafter; or
    will he turn out to be only a H.S. All-America blue chipper doomed to
    losing well in the Sweet16 four years in a row and then riding the pine
    in the pros?
    
    We'll see.  I'll lay jack on the Sweet16 part, though.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.754                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 754 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              25 lines  25-APR-1990 09:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >What a delicious scandal
    
    Uh oh.  
    
    If that objective analyst Dan ever catches wind of the fack that 
    'Snuf counseled a player to go pro without having been taught all 
    the basics to instead risk his career for a "few bucks" he's really
    gonna get it!
    
    re: Hornets
    
    Cain you spell Bill Musselman?  Timberwolves?  Cain you spell
    in-joe-face?  And just think what woulda happened if they'd been
    able to hang on to Mahorn and Steve Johnson!  
    
    The net: They outperform the other 3 expansions teams and then a 
    couple even though they'd dealt away their two best players for
    draft choices.  
    
    No way is this truth-telling Hornets coach the best of the lost,
    clearly the record proves Musselman is.
    
    MrT
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.772                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 772 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              19 lines  25-APR-1990 15:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Blaming Dean... unprecedented plethora of success... desperation 
    >project that is being portrayed by those predicposed to criticising 
    >everything to do with UNC...
    
    Oh balderdash.  What we're doing here is mulling over a pro hoops
    coach expressing his shock and dismay at the fack that a stud All-
    American wasn't taught one of the most basic fundamentals, and how
    that relate to 'Snuffy's surprisingly poor tournament performance
    in light of his burgeoning barrel of talent.
    
    Nobody's saying he's a_incompetent coach; we're only interpreting
    this latest example of 'Snuff's mediocrity and failure for possible
    revisionism as to his hotly disputed status as a_allegedly "great"
    coach.  [1::30]
    
    And never say never.  Didn't Walter "The Human Vacuum Cleaner" Davis
    toil for the overrated Smif'?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.780                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 780 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              21 lines  26-APR-1990 08:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ACCrisp is living his hallucinations again (cain anybody forget him
    talking to himself 3-way as himself, Dean Smif', and Judge Wapner?).
    
    This time the voices he's hearing are the legion "pro NBA experts"
    rebutting Littles' implicit criticism of Dean's coaching ability.
    
    There's sophistry involved in the "proof" of all the Star Heels in
    the NonBA: Is it cuz their talent was developed and refined by his
    coaching that they're in the NBA; or are they there cuz their raw
    talent was such that they could overcome undervelopment at his hands?
    
    The H.S. All-America ratings, the Sweet 16 choke jobs, and the many
    Star Heel players who suddenly blossomed once in the pros would tend
    to indicate that it's the latter.
    
    I'd say, in fack, that if a coach, say, had more success in the NCAAs
    and few players in the pros, and only one player starring in the pros,
    that THAT would indicate great player development and game coaching.
    
    Big10 Tom 
    
================================================================================
Note 25.783                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 783 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              11 lines  26-APR-1990 09:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Nuff said!
    
    THANK you.  Now that this issue has finally been settled beyond any
    possible reasonable argument, Chris and Dan, we cain get on with our
    lives.
    
    What are you guys moving on to?  Me, I attended a "baseball" game 
    between the Twins and Tigers last night, and have some thoughts in
    my mind on this Designated Geek thing...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.799                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 799 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              53 lines  26-APR-1990 14:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Now, I really don't want ot draw Bobby the K into this,  but I'm doing
    >it as an example of if [sic] you want to nitpick...
    
    My ACE you don't "want to."
    
    What a poor understanding of basketball you have!  The last thing Bob
    cain be criticized for as a NBA-prep coach (which ain't his mission)
    is teaching defense:
    
    	- Bob plays man D 100% of the time.  Many a pro prospect has
          flopped cuz he played zone in college and never developed the
          requisite foot speed and court vision to play man well.
    
        - Bob's players play the most difficult form of man D - the weak
          side help out variety - which requires the quickest feet and
          the best vision of any type defense cuz you're responsible for
          sagging over in a semi-zone and then, without switch offs, get
          back to your primary assignment with the pass or the flow.
    
    These things being so (and they are) NBA scouts have historically
    tended to rate Bob players a bit higher on paper cuz they know they
    cain play intro level NBA man D (even all those slow-footed white
    guy grad students.  
    
    Other fundamentals that all Bob players learning: passing, picking,
    movement without the ball, shot selection, and clogging the passing 
    lane.  
    
    >comparisons between Walter Davis and Jay "Chewed up and spit out" 
    >Edwards if one examined the two indiviudals closely.
    
    Oh then, let's do that (Please note that this form of causal analysis
    is Dan's and not MrT's.  I am only documenting the contradiction in
    his Davis-Edwards hypocrisy: 
    
    	- Davis is hunky dory for 4 years with 'Snuf and ends up a
    	  legendary coke fiend.
    
    	- Edwards first gets busted by Bob for being a poor but eligible
    	  student, and is then thrown off the team (while still eligible)
    	  and forced to pay his own way to get back onto the team cuz
    	  Bob is unyielding on his principles - even with a star player.
    
    Now, to me neither Bob nor 'Snuf bear any responsibilty for the actions
    of these two.  Jay's manifested themselves while under Bob's auspices,
    and he responded properly.  
    
    Without any doubt, though, your double standardism on this is pure
    unadulterated mean hypocrisy.
    
    Big10 Tom
    
    
================================================================================
Note 25.815                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 815 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    14 lines  27-APR-1990 10:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Dean praised JR's butt size
    
    And there you have it.  Finally, we know why all those HSAA's
    go limp and gag up against the rough competition one runs into
    in the Sweet 16.
    
    >a man (with an) outrageously successful winning tradition 
    >reflected any of zillions of different ways
               ^^^
    
    Whoa there!  Any way except one measurement criterion, which happens
    to be the highest level measurement there is in the sport.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.852                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 852 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              23 lines  30-APR-1990 16:10
                     -< More Bad Thinking From Schneider >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >My ignorance is showing
    
    *Boy*, I'll say:
    
    >NBA coaches don't want to see players start out needing, wanting and
    >expecting weak-side help.
    
    What is demonstrated with the bankrupt schneid above is perhaps the most 
    vivid example yet of feral, fetid, venal, and total commitment to low
    brow sophistry in the name of subintellectual dishonesty.
    
    To infer that a coach who teaches weak-side help D exceptionally well
    necessarily endorses and encourages poor straight-up D is vacuous.
    
    This latest shabby ridiculousness from Schneid is analogous to saying
    that a baseball coach who demands excellent back-up on throwing plays
    encourages poor throwing accuracy and/or poor catching of pegs.
    
    Get 'holt of yourself, Schneider.  You're reaching, and if I might be
    so bold as to say, you're stinking the joint up when you expose your
    moled hairy moist armpit so.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.853                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 853 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              17 lines  30-APR-1990 16:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Underachievement is clearly in the eye of the beholder ...
    
    Would that be in 'Snuffy's eyes?  After all, NOBODY'S seen as much
    bad underachievment, up close and personal, as the whiney Reverend.
    
    Or are you talking "seen" from the other end of the stick?  If you
    are, then let us concede that Bob has seen his share.  Hell, just that
    one game in the NCAAs in '84 was he saw a lifetime's worth of under-
    achievement.  You remember, when he set up his team so well that the
    club footed substitute white guard Dan Dakich shut down Michael.
    
    Know what made me sore about that game?  Smif' didn't even have the
    basic human decency to go up to Bob after the game and apologizing 
    for having sullied His presence with that monumentally rotten excuse
    of coaching.  I was miffed!
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom            
================================================================================
Note 25.858                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 858 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              31 lines   1-MAY-1990 14:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >NBA scouts know different
    
    Get a grammar book willya.
    
    And, so now you're a_appointed spokesperson for what NBA scouts think?
    They submit their scouting reports to you and you in turn interpret
    them to the masses?
     
    I think not, for there playing weak-side help out man D is in no way
    different from straight up D, they are just different levels of play.
    Bob's minions play straight-up man, until there's a break down, at
    which point they're expected to recognize the break down and break off
    to fill the driving and/or passing lane that's open.
    
    NBA coaches add points to Bob grads for this skill area, cuz weak side
    help out is played in the NBA too.
    
    >astonishing lack of principle.
    
    Dan, you're jumping between notes too often and getting your villians
    mixed up.  Midnight's over in 36 plying his "trade"...
    
    Have you already forgotten than *I* am the true objective analyst,
    the moralist, the ethicist, the... Defender?
    
    If nothing else, at least we've all worked together and established
    that Smif' is a_underachiever.  Let us cease these personal squabbles
    and warm ourselves by the dim light of that overrated "coach's" charred
    carcass!
    
    MrT     
================================================================================
Note 25.859                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 859 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              21 lines   1-MAY-1990 16:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >But the Regional Final two days later was even better.
    
    I entered the "Dakich shuts down Michael" note and, minutes later
    driving down the freeway, went into a cold sweat when I realized
    you'd come to collect on this.
    
    Yes, that loss was the second biggest heartbreaker in Hoosier annals.
    
    But, thinking back on it, remembering the poor club-footed Dakich
    cowering over on the side line, sensing that the Cavaliers' big man
    could steal the ball, that he couldn't dribble out the clock for a
    Final Four appearance... remembering that Dakich was right, that the
    big man could, that he couldn't do that simple thing even protecting
    the ball with his body... remembering all that just reinforces in my
    mind how important recruiting *is* in college hoops.
    
    After all, the Virginny center was more nimble and much quicker.  Poor
    Dakich, and poor Bob for that matter, really didn't have much of a 
    chance to begin with, now did they?
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.860                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 860 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              16 lines   1-MAY-1990 16:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that if Dean puts fewer HSAA's
    >into the NBA than the national average that he's been underachieving.
    
    So it's true then.  You *did* study the Art of Remorseless Obfuscation
    at Dan's gnarly feet!  And I thought the rumors were merely vicious
    hearsay.
    
    Your offer for "objective measurement" above is reminiscent of when Dan
    up and said that he could prove that 'Snuff had a higher overall winning
    percentage then that meant he was the better coach.  
    
    Or the time with the overall NCAA tourney winning percentage... WHOOPS!
    Forgot, he dropped that one like pregnant teenaged girl friend when the
    once faithful Cappel took him downtown to school !!!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.872                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 872 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              11 lines   2-MAY-1990 16:33
                           -< Must You Pain Me So? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Weren't the Hoosiers the #4 seed in the Regional that year?
    
    I've NEVER said that the Hoosiers' ain't never been upset, have
    I?  Must you rub this painful moment in my face so?  Thank God
    no U. Kaintuck alum lives in here, or it'd be double whammy with
    a_onslaught of reminders about the '75 Regional Championship loss
    to them (with Scotty May's forearm, of course).
    
    Piece & Luv, Wahoo (sigh).
    
    Poor MrT
================================================================================
Note 25.873                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 873 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              19 lines   2-MAY-1990 16:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Take yer own Steve Fisher, please!
    
    "My own?!"  Thank you, but that cretin belongs to Go Blue (Go Big Red
    for me, buddy).
    
    And is that the Steve Fisher who in one month tied "HoF" Snuff' on
    the Big Board?
    
    >more HSAAs than the national average
    
    But he's had so many more than average too.  We need a_adjusted figure
    that accounts for his cornucopia on the front end (narrows down to a
    garden hose on the output side, though).
    
    More 'Snuff scandal: Anybody out there got a_example of a modest player
    recruited by Smif' who was developed into a NCAA AA and/or a_NBA guy?
    Has he ever had ONE?  Honest question.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 25.874                 Atlantic Coast Conference                 874 of 924
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              23 lines   2-MAY-1990 17:17
                      -< Let's Talk NCSU Wolves History >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >So let's get on with that there objective stuff.  Bring on the 
    >stats.
    
    Ok, now that SleazeToothBucket has been deposed, how's this for 
    starters:
    
    	NCSU		2
    	Star Heels 	2-
    
    Even though the Stars on national TV 4 times weekly, and garner
    all kinds of attention and so-called "respect."
    
    The fair-minded minus sign behind the Stars' total here is meant
    to reflect the fack that the Wolves put a_end to the Woodsonian
    Era, and that Sleepy Floyd probably took $750,000 hard cash from
    a desperate Smif' during the pre-game.  
    
    I bet if you polled the nation's 12 year old boys, less than 10%
    would know that NCSU and UNC are tied or, ftm, that the seldom
    mentioned Hoosiers prevail upon that overrated band of underachievers
    at a 5-2 clip.
    
    Big10 Tom

================================================================================
Note 27.77                  ****  BIG-8  SPORTS  ****                  77 of 344
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "taken from yesterday's papers"  19 lines  18-JAN-1990 11:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
			BIG TEN'S NO. 1

The latest computer basketball ranking of the top conferences by Jeff 
Sagarin, whose information is used by the NCAA in assembling its 64-team 
tournament field:

1.  Big Ten 		85.80 points
2.  Big Eight 		85.28
3.  Atlantic Coast	84.42
4.  Big East		83.14
5.  Pacific-10		79.96
6.  Southeastern	79.90
7.  Big West		78.49
8.  Metro		78.37
9.  Western Athletic	77.47
10. Mid-American	76.15
11. Missouri Valley	75.39
12. American South	74.71
13. Mid-Continent	73.58
================================================================================
Note 27.288                 ****  BIG-8  SPORTS  ****                 288 of 344
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  11 lines  19-MAR-1990 14:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Where's Cowboy?
    
    You out there gaucho?  Remember when you chided me as being uptight
    cuz I "knew" that the Final Four was gonna be a_all Big8 affair?
    
    Haaa.
    
    This guy over at Lawrence seems like a nice enough guy, but Norm
    and Billy, phew!  Couldn't have happened to a nicer pair of...
    
    Big10 Tom

================================================================================
Note 35.20        AFC CENTRAL CHAMPIONS - CLEVELAND BROWNS note        20 of 458
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "MachoMenBrowns>GirlyMonVikeQueens" 2 lines  18-DEC-1989 09:54
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Note 35.36        AFC CENTRAL CHAMPIONS - CLEVELAND BROWNS note        36 of 458
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "sorry ICEman Browns are Wussies" 2 lines  21-DEC-1989 13:46
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Note 35.73        AFC CENTRAL CHAMPIONS - CLEVELAND BROWNS note        73 of 458
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "go Dawgs, gnaw some BONE now"    2 lines  29-DEC-1989 09:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
================================================================================
Note 35.82        AFC CENTRAL CHAMPIONS - CLEVELAND BROWNS note        82 of 458
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mile Hi Donkeys 31, Browns 24"   2 lines  29-DEC-1989 11:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
================================================================================
Note 35.106       AFC CENTRAL CHAMPIONS - CLEVELAND BROWNS note       106 of 458
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Go Dawgs, stomp bickering Bills"   2 lines   5-JAN-1990 11:58
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Note 35.189       AFC CENTRAL CHAMPIONS - CLEVELAND BROWNS note       189 of 458
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Browns=cheatASS skeerty kats :^("  2 lines  12-JAN-1990 11:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 36.42                   CLEVELAND INDIANS 1990                    42 of 141
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            16 lines  11-APR-1990 15:34
                     -< sitting on the Doc of the bay... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re 1
    
    iceMAN, you must seek to understand Midnight and what he's actually
    up to: Doc is a_egomaniac, a_insecure one at that.  So, what he does
    is climb into this file and proceed to brandish his armor-plated 
    tongue at innocent eminent sports authorities such as yourself.
    
    I know, for I too have suffered his abuse; and like you I have stomped
    Midnight and have felt his haid under my sole.  Sole man, one might say.
                                                                      
    In fack, the reason I was selected NoTY '89 is for being Johnny-on-the-spot
    and administering Midnight's first-ever SPORTS spanking, something that
    to this day I'm not especially proud of but very comfortable with, much
    like a war hero who made piece with himself...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 36.45                   CLEVELAND INDIANS 1990                    45 of 141
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              6 lines  12-APR-1990 07:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey iceMAN, what's with Kevin Wickander?  Cain he hurl?  Does he have
    a chance of doing anything given the great reliever already ensconsed
    there?  Have you seen his minor league numbers, I'm wondering what 
    kinda ERA he sports.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 36.50                   CLEVELAND INDIANS 1990                    50 of 141
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "DrM: SPORTS' abjective analist"  9 lines  12-APR-1990 13:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Midnight, Metzger "won" (i.e., bought) his NoTY Title the year before
    last.  NoTY '89 was yours truly.
    
    Ahhhhh, ain't it a "surprise" that a John Stompshim fan would view
    the world through tinted glasses...
    
    You should be ashamed of yourself and, in fact, probably are.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 36.67                   CLEVELAND INDIANS 1990                    67 of 141
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                     8 lines  19-APR-1990 12:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Whatever happened to the new stadium issue?
    
    They gotta get off the lake and build a nice baseball (read: not
    football) park down the river valley somewhere.  Let's face it,
    Municipal has had it.  There's some major $$ in that town, so they
    cain afford it without screwing the taxpayers too much.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 36.83                   CLEVELAND INDIANS 1990                    83 of 141
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              7 lines  20-APR-1990 10:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >ooh sorry i lost myself there
    
    Back in high school, we used to tell people with that particular 
    problem to used tweezers.  Dinzy, did you pass out from exhaustion
    or exasperation?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 36.87                   CLEVELAND INDIANS 1990                    87 of 141
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              11 lines  26-APR-1990 10:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Question to axe: Was that Swindell vs. Clemens argument truly
    serious in nature - or just tongue in cheek.
    
    I mean, I loathe the BoreSox and rather like the Tribe, but...
    Swindell is NOBODY compared to Rocket.  I am forced to concede
    this based on my status as a_objective sports anayst.
    
    Compared to Roger, Craig Swindell is a threadbare journeyman with
    pretensions.
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 37.13              The Official Houston Oiler Topic               13 of 203
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "DrM & Oilies: Perfect Together"    2 lines  18-DEC-1989 10:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

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Note 38.5               The Official Denver Broncos Note                5 of 905
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Elway is GOD, MileHigh is HEAVEN" 2 lines  15-DEC-1989 15:07
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Note 38.8               The Official Denver Broncos Note                8 of 905
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Thorpe,Mantle,JimBrown,Mays,Elway" 2 lines  18-DEC-1989 12:05
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Note 38.100             The Official Denver Broncos Note              100 of 905
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Chainsaw's almost toofless too"  2 lines  22-DEC-1989 09:49
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Note 38.137             The Official Denver Broncos Note              137 of 905
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Be a man & let it go, *Steven*"  2 lines  26-DEC-1989 09:10
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Note 38.152             The Official Denver Broncos Note              152 of 905
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "re .147: what unmitigated BULL !!" 2 lines  27-DEC-1989 09:16
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Note 38.173             The Official Denver Broncos Note              173 of 905
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bronco fans are NFL's best fans" 2 lines  28-DEC-1989 10:04
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Note 38.186             The Official Denver Broncos Note              186 of 905
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "ah SHADDAP JoJ, DR = AFC CoTY"   2 lines  29-DEC-1989 11:02
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Note 38.218             The Official Denver Broncos Note              218 of 905
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Nolls Nulls pud game for Ponies" 2 lines   2-JAN-1990 09:22
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Note 38.229             The Official Denver Broncos Note              229 of 905
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Big John: misunderstood demigod"   2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:13
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Note 40.23                        Hunting Note                         23 of 107
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "NeoConMen SUCKERS! Dan is right"   2 lines   2-JAN-1990 11:33
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Note 40.30                        Hunting Note                         30 of 107
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT shot 2 partridges this year!"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:08
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Note 40.51                        Hunting Note                         51 of 107
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "I cock a Browny 9 MillingMeatHer" 2 lines   3-JAN-1990 14:20
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Note 40.74                        Hunting Note                         74 of 107
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Dan: Hunting is a REAL sport."     2 lines   5-JAN-1990 11:53
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Note 40.76                        Hunting Note                         76 of 107
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "how many $ for the Ithaca 12?"    2 lines   5-JAN-1990 13:53
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Note 40.79                        Hunting Note                         79 of 107
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "BOOM! heh heh... Dinner time!"    2 lines   5-JAN-1990 16:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

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Note 65.0         General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)        64 replies
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "VROOM ! VROOOMM !! VROOOOOMMM !!"  2 lines  18-DEC-1989 09:38
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Note 65.1         General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)           1 of 64
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Senna: MonomaniacCrasherCheater"   2 lines  18-DEC-1989 09:42
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Note 65.3         General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)           3 of 64
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "I'll haunt you, Ras. BIG-time !!"  2 lines  18-DEC-1989 09:43
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Note 65.5         General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)           5 of 64
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Robbed me of my manhood in here"   2 lines  18-DEC-1989 09:52
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Note 65.13        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          13 of 64
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Shaughnessy longest one in here" 2 lines  19-DEC-1989 09:50
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Note 65.17        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          17 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Get the leather int., Hawk"      2 lines  22-DEC-1989 09:47
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Note 65.20        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          20 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Hawk was a BAD boy, eh? Ho-ho!"  2 lines  26-DEC-1989 09:00
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Note 65.23        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          23 of 64
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ghosts don't get no nooky, bud."   2 lines  26-DEC-1989 10:00
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Note 65.24        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          24 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "brud Willie T. Ribbs goes CART"  2 lines  29-DEC-1989 11:04
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Note 65.30        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          30 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Willie T. cain flat out DRIVE"   2 lines   2-JAN-1990 09:17
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Note 65.32        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          32 of 64
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "TransAm & GTO are contact sports"  2 lines   2-JAN-1990 14:15
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Note 65.34        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          34 of 64
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "walls often fatal on CART ovals"  2 lines   5-JAN-1990 16:07
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Note 65.36        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          36 of 64
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Senna BANNED from 1990 F1 series!" 2 lines  10-JAN-1990 14:09
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Note 65.47        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          47 of 64
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Bubba is back in training now.."  2 lines  11-JAN-1990 13:11
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Note 65.48        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          48 of 64
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "this from USA Today:"            26 lines  11-JAN-1990 14:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    	FORMULA ONE DRIVER FACES BAN FOR CRITICAL REMARKS
        
    Brazil's Ayrton Senna, 1988 Formula One world champion, will be
    banned from the Grand Prix circuit this year unless he retracts
    critcism of the Internal Federation of Auto Sports (FISA), the group's
    president said Wednesday.
    
    Senna has charged he was manipulated out of any shot at the 1989
    title so France's Alain Prost would win it.  Senna's title hopes
    ended when he was disqualified in the Japanese Grand Prix, the season's
    next-to-last race.
    
    "The jcouncil will not grant a 1990 license for the season so long
    as he doesn't change his statements or alter the lies and detriment
    he caused to FISA," president Jean-Marie Balestre said.
    
    Balestre cited a FISA regulation requiring all drivers to respect
    decisions of the sport's governing body.
    
    Senna finished first in the Japanese race but was disqualified for
    taking a shortcut after a chrash.  "It is clear that political
    and economic pressure groups manipulated behind the scenes to make
    Prost this year's champion," Senna said Nov. 10.
               
    Balestre met Senna in December in an effort to make peace, but his
    bid for "reconciliation with Mr. Senna was to no avail."
================================================================================
Note 65.51        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          51 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Hawk,Buzzard,Chicken,Fowl,Foul"  2 lines  18-JAN-1990 11:42
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Note 65.52        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          52 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been BANNED!"  22 lines  19-JAN-1990 16:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Congrat's to Jean-Marie Balestre and his good men at FISA for putting
    the hammer down on the pushy dangerous addled but partially great
    I-Hear-A-Taunt Senna.
    
    Good show JMB.  He had to be stopped, the line had to be drawn,
    somewheres [sic] and after two years of cravenly cowardly behavior
    they finally dropped back down between your legs and we're glad
    to see you have your manhood back.
    
    Also congrat's to Raynor for hiring Willie T. Ribbs.  If he's any
    good at all, and I think he will be, Raynor will reap a PR bonanza
    what with Bill Cosby associated.
    
    And finally congrat's to Bobby Rahal, my CART fave, for copping
    an Ilmor-Chevy ride.  After two years of holding your own on top
    a mushy hard to squeeze Judd, now maybe Al Jr. and Michael and Danny
    and the other fat cats will not only notice you in their mirrors
    but WITH THE POWER TO PASS.
    
    Go for it Bobby, win another Title.
    
    MrT   
================================================================================
Note 65.54        General Motor Sports (MrT Memorial Pit Stop)          54 of 64
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           13 lines  10-APR-1990 12:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Do the the red cars *really* have the tractable horsepower?  Cain
    they run with the McHondas?  It looks like Honda's V-12 is gonna
    be delayed, maybe until next year, so the power potential of the
    Renaults and the red cars is the key to an exciting F1 series.
    
    Berger is looking bad right now.  And Nigel has some face saving
    to do after two races.  I commend Nige for his maturity and classiness
    in so graciously receiving le professeur into his team as co-number 1,
    but so far it's been all Alain.
    
    And if Alesi had any kind of engine, VOILA.
    
    MrT 

================================================================================
Note 74.250                  Miscellaneous Questions                  250 of 349
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           44 lines  16-APR-1990 13:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .240
    
    Cripes, Frank, you're starting to sound like that geek in the
    bow tie George Will!
    
    >rubbing it down with a bone
    
    I'll send you mail about what to do with the thing...
    
    >picking it up
    
    Dangerous nowadays what with all the diseases going about...
    
    >handling it
    
    Now yer talking...
    
    >putting it down...
    
    Genderist :^( ...
    
    >the oils from your hands
    
    What they hell kinda freak are you, Frank?  Been in the barnyard
    too long.  May I introduce you to David Lynch...
    
    >true sweat
    
    And just what is fake sweat?  Oh, Dominique Wilkins yeah...
    
    >labor
    
    Don't ever get married, Frank.  Labor is truly more painful for
    the man than it is for the woman...
    
    >almost loving caress
    
    User :^( ...
    
    >leave their mark
    
    Oil stains?
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 76.2                 COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                 2 of 103
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bob signs Damon Bailey"          2 lines   2-JAN-1990 09:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
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Note 76.75                COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                75 of 103
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           16 lines  12-APR-1990 13:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Gotta win a Title.  Maybe 1 isn't enought.  4 Titles in 4 years.
    
    No, one would suffice.  At least he'd cut his ratio down from
    30::1 to 15::1, which would still leave him half-assed in comparison
    to a great coach [B], but at least a little less ridiculous.  
    
    And *that's* not even adjusting for all the talent!
    
    re .72
    
    I assume, now that Michigan State has been openly robbed of a Final
    Four appearance for the second year in a row you'll retractr this
    wound-licking conspiracy theory.  After all, the Big10 IS the biggest
    of the "big name" conferences, no?
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 76.77                COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                77 of 103
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           26 lines  12-APR-1990 13:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: Reverend Underachievement rathole
    
    Here's the bottom line of it: Any dufus (Dean Smith included) who
    has awesome talent year-in year-out cain sit back on the bench and
    make the Sweet 16 no problem.  Where coaching (both the game and
    player development types) comes into play - usually - is once you're
    *in* the Sweet 16 and face teams of similar ilk.
    
    That being true (and it certainly is) we cain explain two things:
    
    1. 'Snuf's perenniel Sweet 16 appearances are the direct result of 
       great recruiting.
    
    2. 'Snuf's perenniel Sweet 16 eye-bulging purple-lipped choke jobs
       are the direct result of mediocre coaching. 
            
    Now, let's say that there's a hypothetical coach  -- just as a_exercise
    mind you, certainly no coach could be this great -- that for whatever
    reason didn't recruit particularly well at the big-time level yet he
    had a better overall tourney winning percentage than a_underachiever
    like 'Snuf and Title ratio 4 times better [1::7 vs. 1::30] !!
    
    I'm *sure* nobody could ever be so great as this, but if there WERE such
    a gentleman wouldn't it be fair to describe him as a genius?  [yeah]
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 76.78                COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                78 of 103
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           10 lines  13-APR-1990 07:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re 1
    
    That's what I've been trying to get out, to say, over the past two
    years.  Finally, the mystery is solved.  At last, the comparison is
    made whole, perfected, and understood.
    
    Now, we cain drop the subject and get on with our lives.
    
    Big10 Tom
    
================================================================================
Note 76.84                COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                84 of 103
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           32 lines  13-APR-1990 08:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >current Michigan current... confession... in .77...
    
    Rolly I ain't confessed to anything !  GET your act together on
    this.  
    
    re: TTom on recruitng as component of overall coach
    
    I've always readily conceded that recruiting is a key part of the
    overall college coach.  Cain't deny it.  Wouldn't won't to.  Never
    have.
    
    But the relative talent issue only works to discredit the "greatness"
    Rev. Smif' loudly declares to the nation about himself with his Dean
    Dome conceit; it doesn't work against Bob at all, for at its highest
    level the bottom line of any greatness debate is results, and Bob has
    them in total wins, total Titles, conference Titles, tourney winning
    percentage, and total winning percentage.
    
    That he has done all this by way of overcoming a self-inflicted handicap
    only sweetens the plot.  
     
    >cloaca = sewer
    
    That one of several definitions for the word, and is the most current 
    and pedestrian.  The definition for my usage (which is taken from a_Umberto
    Eco novel "Foucault's Pendulum") would be defintion no. 5 from Webster's
    Unabridged:
    
    		
    			5. A channel for moral filth.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 76.96                COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                96 of 103
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"             8 lines  16-APR-1990 08:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well?  Where's the talk about the McDonald's All-Star Classic?
    
    I only saw, oh, maybe 5-7 minutes half watching, but the two stars
    to me seemed to be Grant Hill (?) and Rozier.  Both multifaceted
    players, modern players who cain play the open court AND bang it
    around big-time inside...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 76.98                COLLEGE HOOPS RECRUITING INFO                98 of 103
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              8 lines  16-APR-1990 08:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, Damon *is* a_A student, if that helps.  I was disappointed with
    what I saw of him, but have learned to take all-star games with a grain
    of salt.  Still, it wasn't a good sign to hear Dicky and the other guy
    reassuring one another, and the fans, that Damon'll be able to play
    big-time basketball.  From what I saw, he might have trouble breaking
    into the Hoosier's guard-laden lineup next year.
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 86.24                     Billy Martin - RIP                       24 of 27
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "I said BUD Lite, not turn right!"  2 lines  10-JAN-1990 14:28
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================================================================================
Note 91.24                The OFFICIAL NFL DRAFT topic                 24 of 237
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Jeff George is the next MARINO"  2 lines  29-DEC-1989 09:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 94.4                      New York Mets Note                        4 of 20
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Darling FADING needs gold glove" 2 lines  28-DEC-1989 09:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 95.1              OFFICIAL AL COTE WELL-WISHING NOTE                1 of 33
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Cote Turkey for Al, noters' pal" 2 lines  29-DEC-1989 08:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
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Note 95.8              OFFICIAL AL COTE WELL-WISHING NOTE                8 of 33
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "dinz.. you talking HAID cheese?" 2 lines  29-DEC-1989 09:06
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Note 95.19             OFFICIAL AL COTE WELL-WISHING NOTE               19 of 33
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "door hitting ya in the ACE Al?"  2 lines  29-DEC-1989 10:57
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Note 95.33             OFFICIAL AL COTE WELL-WISHING NOTE               33 of 33
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "No. That's 'Go Fryers!,' Cystoid"  2 lines   4-JAN-1990 15:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 96.81       The official Bowl games rehash topic;Who's #1?        81 of 111
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  11 lines   3-JAN-1990 14:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     1. Florida State
     2. Miami
     3. Illinois
     4. Notre Dame
     5. Southern Cal
     6. Penn State
     7. Michigan
     8. Colorado
     9. Auburn 
    10. Alabama
    
================================================================================
Note 96.96       The official Bowl games rehash topic;Who's #1?        96 of 111
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Canes played pud schedule, bowl"   2 lines   4-JAN-1990 15:49
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Note 96.106      The official Bowl games rehash topic;Who's #1?       106 of 111
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "C'mon, Miami GORGES on cupcakes!" 2 lines   5-JAN-1990 16:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 98.27                   The demise of Cable TV                     27 of 76
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Heels are on TV 30 times as is!"   2 lines   4-JAN-1990 16:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 100.12            HOW CAN WE MAKE SPORTS.NOTE BETTER?              12 of 47
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Appoint MrT Head Moderator"        2 lines   5-JAN-1990 12:06
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Note 100.32            HOW CAN WE MAKE SPORTS.NOTE BETTER?              32 of 47
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "REK's .26 is unmitigiated BULL!"  2 lines   8-JAN-1990 11:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

================================================================================
Note 105.17     OFFICIAL 1990 BROWNS at BRONCOS BASH'N'BARK NOTE       17 of 230
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "dog food = Chow Chow cuisine HA"  2 lines   8-JAN-1990 11:47
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Note 105.53     OFFICIAL 1990 BROWNS at BRONCOS BASH'N'BARK NOTE       53 of 230
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "party's over ICE, done finsihed"   2 lines  10-JAN-1990 12:10
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Note 105.62     OFFICIAL 1990 BROWNS at BRONCOS BASH'N'BARK NOTE       62 of 230
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "over ICE. Finito. Donks now 8^o"   2 lines  10-JAN-1990 14:06
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Note 105.123    OFFICIAL 1990 BROWNS at BRONCOS BASH'N'BARK NOTE      123 of 230
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "ICEman skeert. Meltdown time!"    2 lines  11-JAN-1990 15:05
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Note 105.181    OFFICIAL 1990 BROWNS at BRONCOS BASH'N'BARK NOTE      181 of 230
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Dawgs: tuf mutts or skeert sluts?" 2 lines  12-JAN-1990 15:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    

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Note 110.22            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             22 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Saw,/Don,Denny, CRAVEN panderers" 2 lines  11-JAN-1990 14:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
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Note 110.24            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             24 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "and *Steven* Gaulke is a Geelk!"  2 lines  11-JAN-1990 14:06
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Note 110.25            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             25 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Needle, stop this note! STOP IT"  2 lines  11-JAN-1990 14:07
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Note 110.55            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             55 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "this is one SICKENING spectacle!"  2 lines  12-JAN-1990 11:23
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Note 110.62            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             62 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew (so many BIG ones)"  2 lines  12-JAN-1990 11:57
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Note 110.74            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             74 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Doug.. no!.. ohh.. SO wrong.. ack" 2 lines  12-JAN-1990 15:07
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Note 110.78            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             78 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Man? MAN? JudasBurrVichyRoss ack"  2 lines  12-JAN-1990 15:23
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Note 110.86            THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM             86 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "re 80 as LOW as you cain go 8^(" 2 lines  15-JAN-1990 10:09
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Note 110.128           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            128 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "loses points for poor grammar"    1 line  18-JAN-1990 10:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >There's two seats in a pressbox,
================================================================================
Note 110.150           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            150 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 28 lines  19-JAN-1990 10:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Pardon?"  "Crime?"
    
    The record shows, from you hand no less, that poor MrT was victimized
    big-time for responding to your parody mail with the prank of turning
    it into note format.  
    
    "Admission" and "prank" describes the whole mess much more accurately,
    wouldn't you say?
    
    I have been victimized by circumstance, by ambitious noters, by
    mob psychology and, yes, by certain noters whose names I won't mention
    that went turncoat and suddenly sat knitting and cackling before the 
    guillotine gallows like that old hag in Paris during the French Revolution
    [Steven_boy].
    
    But (sniff) I'm not bitter, I'm not a man who cain hold a grudge,
    (whaa) I'm not gonna cudgel as I have been cugeled, libel as I have
    been libeled.  Face it: I got stomped by a herd of mad kangaroos
    who'd seen too much People's Court.  People who didn't know any better  
    got sucked into making a certain "guilty until proven innocent"
    psychology and had that emotion fanned by the remorseless ACC Cyst.
    
    No, I've always been one who believes in the power of positive
    thinking, to look on the bright side.  As such, I'd like to salute
    the good Rochibaud for his loyalty which helped me keep the ghost
    through this nightmare of viciousness and wanton injustice.
                                                     
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.174           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            174 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                  276 lines  23-JAN-1990 11:14
                           -< Ode to 'Snuffy Smif' >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whether many good wins

		or a_excellent loss

In one a *Smif's* blends

		mogambo talent he'll toss



I cain hear Smif' in the NCAAs now:

 		"'Snuff 'Snuff 'Snuff now STOP boys !! 
               
Consistent excllence NOT winning is how,

		so relax and savor these hooptime joys"



'Snuffy Smif' 

		yes he's afraid to win

An inveterate stiff

		But he's VERY hard to pin



'Snuff to make a analyst wonder

		what with DavisFordWorthyMichaelBradKennyJR andalltherest

How Smif' always manages to blunder

		under pressure like in '84 when pitted against the best



Ahhh the best the Master,  O hoops very Zoroaster!

		*he* must scratch his haid and wonder too

How so many NBA All-Stars in Smif's past, ahh.. er...

		could end their NCAAs in (ahem) "babyish blue"



But like so many a deep dark troubling mystery

		that puzzled Plato, Homer, Voltaire, or Mazda

All we need do is pore over the whole squalid history
		 
		apply objective logic, shake our haids, and go ha ha ha HA


		
Excuses.  Always at the ready with their myriad uses

		ergo the misleading jive-bull about "grievous math errors"  

"developed talent," "consistent excellence" and other bilge from stupid muses

		but how those "excellent losses" lurk, yet, like night terrors!



'Snuff he sez!  "'Snuff about Greatness!" he demands

		cuz that subject is a sensitive one for egomaniacs

Like Smif', who self-aggrandize using idolators' hands

		dropping a trail of diappointments like a bunny's tracks



Arnold Toynbee said myth-building is why we're civilized

		and oh my how so very cultivated a TV persona you are

Foisting image over substance and gloss over things left unrealized

		the Reagan of hoops, you mooch others' greatness from afar



But Dan Dakich knows, and so do Bob and his close associate MrT

		cuz we're from a place called Hoosierland

Where Titles are't taken for granted but for all our eternity

		we hath shat upon idolators from the Victory Stand!



'Snuffy Smif' you're a tired overblown self-important little geek
		
		slick as oil on-camera, greasy as smegma in print

We salute your consistent excellent losing and the Greatness you seek

		all your consistent excellent excuses, too.  Get the hint?



O Reverend, you proclaim that you're a religious type?

		pontificating and moralizing about nuthin' in such profusion?

False Gods shall be cast down by Mazda as mere conceits of hype!

		and your apostles shall have revealed your on-court confusion!



O GAWD you make me puke on my Florsheims you little twerp!

		high school All-Americas, Top 10, front-line strong and tall

I'm sick of how after each moany whine you emit a tiny burp!

		DeanDome, winning percentage, TV exposure, idolatry and all



Wanna talk Greatness, you effeminate self-serving overrated little whiner?
		
		well, lemme show you a hoops world so very much finer:



	Bob

	You make my heart throb
	

	Bobby

	It's all pink and sore and throbby


	OoooOOoooh Mazda of my Zoroaster

	Would you object if I addressed you as Master?

 
	Why not, Master?  You *are* so very sublime

	Not like you-know-whom-always-on-TV, the slime

	
	3-1, 5-2 and you cop all the tiTy

	A REAL man!  Say, ain't that Smif' rather flitty?

		
	Now I ain't gonna call the guy a homo

        It's just how he whines and winces and croons like Perry Como


	Bob

	I cain feel it throb


	Bobby

	It's like a ridge thrust up and knobby


	A man of principle and discipline

	The Marines build men who win

	
	A man of accomplishment and technique

	You are, s'il tu plait, fantastique!


	OoooOOoooOOooOOOOHH!

	GoooOOooo GoooOOoooo!


	Mais non, pardon moi, but did I digress?

	No no not you, Bob, *you* only impress!


	Dan Dakich, slow grad students, 6-2 on the front-line

	And forwards playing center, yet it all works so fine!


	You are a genius, Bob

	How do you do it?
	
	Don't mind that historical footnote slob

	The name 'Snuffy Smif' is synonymous with "blew it!"


	He gets publicity so fine

	But the doctors are still looking for a spine!


	Now, I don't wanna badmouth anybody

	but 30 years all that talent the job he's done is simply cruddy!

	
	Bob, you're cast as the villain folks just love to hate

	They ignore your Titles, your charity, and your graduation rate


	Injustice, illogic, and personality cultism

	These things promote 'Snuffy, and cause subjectivism

	
	Let Feinstein reap millions from melodramatic lies

	Mooches like him cain't cloud *my* objective analytical eyes


	You don't even *wanna* be promoted

	Voted, over-doted, or sugar-coated


	No, Bob, you just wanna be Great 
	
	And leave Mr. Historical Footnote to grate
	

	Bob.  You *are*!

	You've come so far


	From Orrville, Ohio State and West Point

	Now our Zoroaster in Mecca, we hereby our Master annoint!



So, did you enjoy this peek into Greatness, Reverend Smif'?

		the perspective, context, priorities, and fact

Here take this underwear, it's his, go on don't be skeert take a sniff!

		and savor His essence, nuance, substance, and tact



It's not that I dislike you, just hate propaganda is all

		I call a fraud a fraud, and a_imposter just that

So next time you wear elevator shoes and attempt to stand tall

		call Bob the Greatest, and be sure to doff your hat


MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.178           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            178 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  12 lines  23-JAN-1990 11:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >makes his look like a proverb.
    
    No, it makes his look like a burgeoning sackful of misinformation
    put through a_angry trash compacter and squeezed down into a tight
    stiff little brick made up of some unexplained cardboard-like substance
    with this funny suspicious green color.
    
    I want my tickets.  Forget the tee shirt and your blatantly
    unconstitutional home buy rule.  I'll have Nazz hand them over to
    two colleagues of my choice who reside in New England.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.183           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            183 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                   25 lines  23-JAN-1990 12:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >If that one don't [sic] score negative, this contest is rigged.
                                                       
    Why, I'm disappointed to hear you say that Doug.  But perhap that's
    your ambition talking, the craven desire for basketball tickets?
    
    I felt my entry was balanced and fair, and a fine individual like
    ACC Chris will accept nothing less.  I spoke of "seeking greatness"
    and "many good wins" and "consistent excellence" and so forth.  I
    went on to characterize Dean Smith as "sensitive" and "so very 
    cultivated."  I even compared him to Ronald Reagan, a man often
    described as "one of the most popular Presidents ever" [sic].  
    
    And on the nuts and bolts level I spoke of "developed talent."
    
    No, it was a good entry, and deserves to win outright.  But the
    contest *is* rigged!  ACC Cyst "justifies" withholding the tickets
    from non-New England contestants as if they wouldn't be put to good
    use if a non-NorthEastCorridorCircleJerk won.  Balderdash.  
    
    I say revise the rules and open the contest up to all of us fair
    and square.  Should I win, and I should, then I'll be in the position
    to put these tickets to good use by passing them on in the same
    style as they were obtained...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.184           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            184 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                   11 lines  23-JAN-1990 12:11
                         -< JD excluded by the rules >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I think JD's working on a 400+ liner.......
          
    We'd certainly welcome that, wouldn't we fellas.  As a demonstration
    entry, that is.  If I'm not mistaken ACC Chris, who in addition
    to being a fine individual is also very highminded and fair, has
    already made the decision that this contest is amateur hour only.
    
    So Devlin is out.  He's a professional writer and as much as we'd
    like to let him compete in the spirit of fairness we cain't.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.189           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            189 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                  19 lines  23-JAN-1990 14:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    So that's the way it is, eh Cyst?
    
    Lure people in here pretending to be seeking input on his school's
    coach when in reality his purpose is to experience the pleasure
    of relegating many of us to second class citizenship, like me for
    instance, branded "bad meat" simply cuz I live in the midwest.
    
    This is wrong.  Fundamentally wrong and unAmerican to boot.  If
    I were awarded the tickets they'd be used.  Nazz could hand them
    off to whomever I or other remote types selected.  
    
    At least when I ran *my* contest I ran a clean operation.  Also,
    I might add, the successful attraction bore the name of the alma
    mater in question.  
    
    What does it say about UNC that an alum must use Celtic tickets
    in order to elicit praise his alma mater?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.200           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            200 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    22 lines  24-JAN-1990 10:17
                          -< Cliff's Notes for 110.* >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The most pathetic part of JD's entry is ACC Crisp's naive reaction
    to it.  I don't mean to imply that all Carolina alums share Crisp's
    abject inability to read between the lines, to identify and assimilate
    literary nuance, but he's letting Devlin get away with murder (or
    at least underhanded character assasination) here!  To wit:
    
    1. He does his paean to show tunes.  Show tunes.  Know what that
       sez about your 'Snuffy, ACCrisp?  My *gawd*, man, wake up and
       smell the roses fer chrissakes!
    
    2. He directly compares hapless ol' 'Snuff to another hapless old
       fart who'd had enough, had given up altogether , but was more
       than to keep the facade and the sham running until such time,
       if ever, the hicks ever figured the scam out.
    
    Oh, JD's entry was a good one alright.  MrT for one finds it very
    pleasing.  Reminds me of one a those up close and personal portraits
    outta Spy Magazine.  But JD's deep satire gives me only half the
    thigh-shuddering pleasure that Crisp's simpleminded reaction to it
    gives.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.230           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            230 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  34 lines  25-JAN-1990 10:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    JD, gotta hand to ya, you're making Crisp the FOOL with your flapping
    cloak and jabbing foil.  He's sittin' there with a Moonie-style
    blissful facial expression while YOU are in fact giving him a facial!
    "Said state of affairs," I got that one.  A clever play on words
    that silently asserts: "What a *said* state Crispy is in, but I've
    *stated* my case (Wizard of Oz overblown media creation, a loser
    ultimately unmasked by a pooch), this contest is the *affair* in
    which I've bamboozled the guy with a siren song that mocks him and
    his alma mater whilst already sending teensy little title waves
    of literary camera work, now almost flipping on the shudder of MrT's
    trembling pleasure-craving thighs."
    
    *said*      "watch what I *said*, not what I did"
    *state*     "I've made my mocking *state*ment that Carolina is in
    		 and is in fack a regrettable idolatrous *state*"	
    *affairs*   "this whole contest has become one big geeky *affair*,
    	         we're gang banging him and he thinks the pounding and
    	         jerking movements is a line dance with drumbeat!
    
    Haaa.  Great work (imagine me tipping my mohawk to you).  Bravo!
                                                                
    Tellya what ACC Crisp, I'm not capable of the kinda quadruple entendre
    deviousness that JD is running down on you, but I'll make you a
    deal about my well-named T-shirt prize: Make it a_XXXX-L.  No, not
    cuz WardleVain's lies about me are true; but cuz I've got a spastic
    colon condition you know and I want to get all the two inch wide
    strips outta the thing I cain.
    
    Here's something even funnier, non-sequitur of the year:
    
    >Real hoop.  Champeens.  Dean Smith.
    
    MrT
    
================================================================================
Note 110.238           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            238 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                   28 lines  25-JAN-1990 13:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Let the record show that a UNC alum was forced to give away a prize
    entirely unrelated to its hoops program in order to elicit praise,
    sincere or otherwise, for it.
              
    Let the record also show that this contest is therefore an unspoken
    confession by ACC Crisp that such a thing is necessary because the
    program's and coach's deficiencies are so widely recognized.
    
    			*  	*	*
    
    Sorry for blowing your cover, JD.  But you axe TOO much when you
    axe ME to maintain radio silence as you mock him so.  If he cain
    swallow what little pride he has left at this point (if any), he'll
    award you the T-shirt in recognition of the genius you've showed
    in taking him downtown for a king-sized jobbing.  You must hate
    ol' 'Snuff as much as I do to do such a thing, in full public view
    no less!
    
    			*	*	*
                                                          
    I been meaning to axe: Dan made a lotta hay outta the fack that
    Isiah went hardship.  Crisp, surely J.R. went pro early in order
    to escape the mental abuse heaped upon him by 'Snuff.  Now, having
    seen J.R. play in the NBA it's readily apparent 'Snuff didn't pressure
    him improving his basketball skills.  So what *did* drive poor J.R.
    from the nest, the haircut?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.262           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            262 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    21 lines  26-JAN-1990 12:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .2
    
    Shaddap Cliff and grab 'holt chorself.
    
    Hey ACC Crisp.  I'd like to see a breakout on my score, which happens
    to be the lowest of the lot.  It's automatic that I get the full
    10 points from the sincerity category, and compared to some of the
    other trash entered in here I mop up in the originality and creativity
    categories as well.  
    
    Not that I'm complaining, mind you.  I've prefer toilet paper anyways
    [sic], and it's kinda clever the way this well-run geeky sideshow
    replicates 'Snuffy's scam: wanton disregard for the facks, cynical
    effort to elicit adulation even idolation, manipiulation of team members 
    in such a way that the output looks good at first but the whole effort
    sorta poops out at the denouement.
    
    I call you to an accounting Crispy, and for once make it objective
    and honest.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.269           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            269 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    14 lines  26-JAN-1990 13:04
               -< be honest ACC Chris ol' buddy: gimme my prize >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cliff I'll brain you if you keep up with the Cleveland State 
    jive-bull.  And let the record show that the debacle to which 
    Mr. Craven persistently refers was morally expunged not long
    after when that very team was unmasked as a CBA pro operation.
    Mouse took the cash.  At least Richmond is a_honorable program. 
    
    ACC Crisp, I PROTEST these proceedings.  How cain you let JD
    into the Elite Eight after what he did to you.  You gonna let
    him get away with it?  You gonna give him a prize for cynically
    taking advantage of you like that?  And Schneid's entry read like
    a Marxist treatise from late 19th centrury Geneva!  Surely he took
    major losses in you-know-which categories.
    
    Big10 Tom 
================================================================================
Note 110.281           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            281 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1789,1848,1872,1917,1989"    20 lines  26-JAN-1990 14:02
                        -< Shame Shame SHAME !!    8^( >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This whole squalid mess is finally coming to a_end and I for one
    am thankful for it.  From Dan's leaden prose though Cliff Craven 
    grinding his knees into the carpet, this has been one sick exercise
    and ACC Crisp has remorselessly diddled your minds and robbed you
    of what little pride you submittors had in the first place.
    
    I cain only thank JD for proving that you cain publicly humiliate
    somebody and get a prize for it, which not only allowed him to come
    out smelling like a rose but also showed us how pecking orders actually
    work in the animal kingdom.
    
    But you guys will be sorry Monday.  Never been to one myself, but
    I bet when the smoke and other forms of obfuscation clear it'll
    be like a when the light goes on after a circle jerk in a dark room.
    There'll be a lotta embarrassed looks, tinkling belts, and deep
    deep shame.
    
    Shame on all of you.  Especially Cliff.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 110.307           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            307 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1789,1848,1872,1917,1989"    14 lines  26-JAN-1990 14:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, Cliff?  Which hurts more?  Standing there empty handed with
    your suit pants ruined for the knees soiled so badly they'll never
    come clean, or losing to of all entries the cardboard stiff square-
    edged hollow box-of-a-paean submitted by the ever-earnest Dan? 
     
    At least now *he* has a_excuse.  What's yours? 
    
    Hey ACC Crisp, I gotta tribute I been holding back cuz it's heartfelt
    and I didn't wanna enter it in this insincerity contest for that
    very reason: I think 'Snuffy's a fine looking man and if he grows
    a goatee and has all his teef pulled I'll quit the sheep and take
    him on as my second wife.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom
================================================================================
Note 110.310           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            310 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1776,1789,1848,1872,1917,19" 18 lines  26-JAN-1990 15:38
                      -< Salvador... SlamDanceCosmopolis >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >And a most deserving winner it is.
                                 ^^
    
    Thank you Dan for finally coming forth and openly admitting what
    I've long held as a private opinion.
    
    These proceedings, and their coverage, have exhibited all the honesty
    of a Salvadoran election.  Bah.
    
    I call on you flush all this offal, delete your notes, pull up your
    flys, and move on with your lives by putting this whole morbit,
    pungent and regrettable episode behind you.
       
    Cripes, I feel like a grade school priest who just threw the curtain
    back on a group of adolescents engaged in... [cain't say it]
    
    MrT                                                         
     
================================================================================
Note 110.319           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            319 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  37 lines  29-JAN-1990 10:41
              -< Glitzy media, self-congratulations, corruption >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, if this sideshow was meant as an allegory for the Star Heel
    program then its corrupt denouement certainly was befitting. What
    we had here was ACC Crisp using a great franchise as bait to buy
    praise for his alma mater (which is bankrupt in that category). 
    
    First came the criteria, which were cleverly manipulated to reinforce
    consistently excellent mediocrity.  As things got rolling the 
    show festered like a cancer, more toxic with each entry.  Things
    then sank ever lower, spiralling down down down with people
    embarrassing themselves one after another.  Then the ringleader
    sensing that the lower boundaries of good taste, even bad taste ftm, had
    long since been passed, began off-court negotations on who the winner
    would be by designation and not performance..
    
    Star Heel tradition: Good coverage of a bad show, big talents
    squandered in a wrongheaded game plan, false praise everywhere,
    which coupled with stupid evaluation criteria finally leads to the
    book being thrown out altogether and the winner being "recuited" like
    just another of the procession of highly touted New York City Star
    Heels.
    
    Two problems, though: 1) While yes Dan's a heel, he's hardly a star
    and, 2) I have proof that Crispy negotiated with a select clique
    on who would win, finally selecting Dan as the best the cabal had
    to offer.  
    
    So, in keeping with Star Heel tradition, there never was a real
    championship, nor any clear winner.  Instead consistent excellence
    (read: blue chip mediocrity) was rewarded, the real action was in the 
    living rooms of the recruiting process, all under the guise of
    integrity and true competition. 
    
    Anybody out there who didn't understand how rotten Star Heel hoops
    cain be surely must see it now.
    
    MrT
       
================================================================================
Note 110.326           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            326 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  20 lines  29-JAN-1990 13:35
                       -< from geedy to creepy to seedy >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Huff and puff all you like, ACC Crisp.  I've got documentary proof
    and the more you deny the deeper the grave that awaits what little
    character you had when you first conceived this perversion of a note.
    
    I'll provide the proof in my own good time, thank you.  Meanwhile,
    a question: Did you plan to fix the results from the very beginning,
    was that part of the thrill?  
    
    When the lights came on and the red faces came visible, I knew that
    not only did 110  have the most creepy vibrations ever, it was also
    the seediest of all notes.  
    
    If you ever decide to run a legit contest go back over my sweatshirt
    contest.   Ran like a charm, and the right man won.  Tough one to
    judge, too, for one cain always argue about just how wrong Dan is,
    but most of the entries were clustered right around the winning
    entry.  The standard deviations were tight, I'm sure you-know-who
    appreciated...
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 110.332           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            332 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    11 lines  30-JAN-1990 09:22
                            -< ORDER IN THE COURT! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ACC Crisp, sir, did you or did you not, with prior knowledge and
    malice of forthought, conspire to fix the results of the "Celtics
    Tickets Giveaway Contest" by secret negotiations, under-the-table
    inducements, wire fraud, and cabalist favoritsm?
    
    You may refuse to answer the question, sir, but under standing
    procedural and evidentiary precedents of this nation's jurisprudence
    your silence may be construed as tacit evidence of your guilt in
    this gravely serious matter.
    
    I axe you again, sir, did you or did you not fix the results?
================================================================================
Note 110.334           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            334 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"     3 lines  30-JAN-1990 12:48
               -< A Fair Trial Is Guaranteed - This Is America >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The allegations stand.  Court will reconvene Monday, Febuary 12th,
    whereupon Mr. Chris Knorr will stand trial charged with Wire Fraud,
    Indecent Extrapolation, and Cabalism.  
================================================================================
Note 110.337           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            337 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    11 lines  30-JAN-1990 13:09
                            -< Court Is In Recess. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You're guaranteed a speedy trial, not a rushed trial.  Mr. Knorr,
    I should also remind you that Perjury is a crime and that if you
    give false testimony once the proceedings begin on Febuary 12th
    that will be handled like any other criminal act.  
    
    We don't coddle crooks in these parts, buster.  This file's in Colorado
    now and this is the West, not the bleeding heart liberal East where
    perpetrators such as yourself are given higher priority than their
    victims.
    
    Please appear here on Febuary 12th and be ready to face Justice, Mr. Knorr.
================================================================================
Note 110.363           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            363 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the People"   86 lines   1-FEB-1990 10:37
              -< Prosecutor's press conference beginning now... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(MrT, recently appointed OURGNG County Prosecutor, is entering the briefing
room in the basement of the Bible of Boxing Memorial Town Government & SPORTS 
Center. He's at the podium now, and appears ready to read from a prepared 
statement before taking questions from the media.)

(cough)  Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, a scandal is unfolding surrounding
the so-called "Celtics Tickets Giveaway Contest" accompanied by much speculation
that has caused consternation, even anger, among the citizenry.  I'd like to
clarify the situation, and confirm exackaly what charges are being pursued by
the Prosecuting Attorney's office.  First, charges have been filed against the
contest's organizer, one Chris Knorr, a.k.a. ACC Chris, ACC Cyst and ACC Crisp.
Mr. Knorr's contest first came to the attention of my office through several
complaints filed with the Health Services Department that it was stinking the
community up with its squalid proceedings.  At that time I took the position
that crime is the Prosecutor's business, not matters of taste.

However, during the final days of the contest several disgruntled participants
came forward with a wide variety of allegations.  We reviewed them and set
them aside as nothing more than sour grapes, but assigned a_investigator just
in case.  After the contest's controversial completion, our investigative team
uncovered a pattern of illegal behavior involving several contestants.  The
team then interrogated these persons, and discovered a wide pattern of criminal
acks - finding that the single common thread and central player among all of
these was Mr. Knorr.  What we found was both shocking and disguting to us, and
that's a mouthful in this town as I'm sure you know.  The very duplicity and
cynicism Mr. Knorr displayed in his furtive behavior led one witness to say
during his  deposition when offered immunity from prosecution for bribery,
"don't worry about oweing me anything just bring him to justice will be good
enough for me."  Another witness, also before obtaining immunity, was moved to
say that Knorr "trying to give us his high and mighty crap about honesty and
integrity he deserves a big fall..." 

At that point we negotiated with the perpetrators and arranged to guarantee
them immunity from prosecution in exchange for testimony and documentary 
evidence.  

At this point the very weight of the evidence is such that we are preferring 
formal charges against Mr. Knorr for the crimes of Indecent Extrapolation,
Wire Fraud and Cabalism.  These are very serious charges, but believe me you
the evidence is overbearing to the point that half my legal staff has been
out sick the past few days from massive vomiting jags.  

Yet there's a job to do, however messy: I call on any others who might have
documentary evidence or independently verifiable testimony to come forward
such that we cain put this sordid blotch on OURGNG behind us.

I'd also like to clear up a few things:

It has been asserted by one uncooperative witness that the County's case
hinges on proving that the best entry didn't win.  This is not true.  From
the legal standpoint the apparent mediocrity of the winning entry neither helps
nor harms our case; we will convict Mr. Knorr on all three counts by testimony
and evidence that proves Mr. Knorr put first prize up for sale, conspired to
rig the scoring as a way to deliver, and engaged in a definite pattern of 
favoritism.  He's not on trial for being a poor judge; he's on trial for fixing
or attempting to fix the contest results, for actively pursuing a pattern of
favoritism in reviewing the entries, for fraudulently ignoring his own published
scoring system, and for using the nation's telephone network to perpetrate 
consumer fraud.

Second, it has also be speculated that Mr. Knorr is taking flight to Florida
in order to go to the Magic Mountain and review his Mickey Mouse operation
and find why it turned Goofy on him such that it now looms like The Black Hole.
Based on this, I've been petitioned by the County Mental Health Service Dept.
that Mr. Knorr is mentally unfit to stand in his own defense.  We'll determine
his fitness later, but should he prove unfit to serve as his own defense counsel
we'll appoint a Public Defender out of the Welfare Dept., where a case file on
Mr. Knorr is already active.

Third, certain bad elements in the community are alleging that I have a vendetta
against Mr. Knorr due to a dispute we had in the past.  I assure you that this
is not true, I hold no grudges, and that I'll do everything in my power as a
public servant to see to it that the evidence is objectively analyzed.  I am
not on trial here, and the issue isn't personal motives, it's criminal acks.

Finally, please remain calm.  The evidence the County plans to reveal is more
shocking than even the current rumors.  Mr. Knorr's behavior brings cynicism
and manipulation to new lows, and stands as a direct full-frontal assault 
against this community's longstanding tradition of objectivity, fairness, and
equal opportunity.  If there's already wild-eyed talk of lynching Mr. Knorr,
unless we grab 'holt ourselves there could be a full-scale Carolina-style riot
once the evidence is shown.

Thank you.  I'll take questions now.

MrT(ruth), OURGNG County Prosecuting Attorney
================================================================================
Note 110.368           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            368 of 1218
34875::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   12 lines   1-FEB-1990 12:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I've offerred Mr. Knorr reduced charges if he'll confess.  He's
    refused. 
    
    Btw, some are saying that what Mr. Knorr did (and it was awful,
    believe me) should reflect on 'Snuffy Smif' and the Star Heel 
    program.  I must, however reluctantly, disagree.  Certainly Knorr's
    crimes are reflective of the fantasism rampant among the fans of
    that program, Smif' seems a relatively honest chap and it would
    be unfair to splatter him with the scum that on overzealous wayward
    alum has wrought.
    
    MrT(he Truth is Coming)
================================================================================
Note 110.370           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            370 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    19 lines   1-FEB-1990 13:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, keep in mind that I'm wearing my jurisprudence hat and that
    means strict interpretation.
    
    I suppose one could righteously speculate that Mr. Knorr's been
    living the Star Heel lie for so many years now that his capacity
    to discern right from wrong is diminished.  I suppose also that
    he might be afflicted with a misguided compulsion to buffer the
    emotional impact inevitable in single elimination tournaments
    (such as his contest).
    
    But good losses and fuzzy criteria in no way equate to backroom
    auctions and cold blooded marketing propaganda used to mask it all.
    
    Btw, I offered Mr. Knorr reduced charges in exchange for a confession.
    It would save us all a so much pain, now wouldn't it?  
    
    He refused.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 110.373           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            373 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people!"   14 lines   1-FEB-1990 13:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I resent that, Baby Doc! 
    
    Knorr is cold-busted and he knows it.  If ANY noter deserves comparison
    to hypocritical televangelists it's *him*.  Hey, he's from Carolina,
    ain't that the Hollywood of money-grubbing Bible thumpers?  After
    all his posturing prim and proper when I pull the curtain back on
    his behind the scenes negotiating sessions it'll be like reading
    the transcripts to the Nixon tapes.  Talk about a totally different
    personality!  This guy is greedy, manipulative, cynical, COLD. 
    
    His nice guy persona is jive-bull.  Animal.
    
    MrT
       
================================================================================
Note 110.377           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            377 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people!"   15 lines   1-FEB-1990 14:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
    			First grub, then ethics.
    
    					- Bertolt Brecht
    
    
    My my my now isn't this the perfect quote to describe this mess?
    Yet, what happened here in 110 makes that old curmudgeon Bertolt
    look the optimist.  Lawd knows we had plenty of the grubbing in
    here; but when do the ethics come?
    
    Febuary 12th, that's when.
    
    MrT(ruth is coming)
================================================================================
Note 110.379           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            379 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people!"   27 lines   1-FEB-1990 14:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .373
    
    Hunt, this is the kind of crap that will NOT be tolerated in my
    chambers!  You derisively sneer "kangaroo" without even having
    seen my evidence.  Prejudicial.  I'd slap you with a Contempt 
    citation except that'd be only subtitling the painfully obvious.
    
    As for your "history" of my background: I never agreed to your silly-
    assed 32-point must system; I never squawked a peep when it yielded
    its unsurprising harvest of "information" (in fack I took like a
    man); and I never defaulted on my pledge to quit this place until
    my good name was clared (it was).                       
    
    Perhaps you approve of fraud, bribery and cabalism?  Perhaps you
    prefer to have your name associated with crooks?
    
    Yesterday in one of his beggy pleady whiney moany-woany mails to
    me Cystosis went so far as to compare himself to Ollie North.  Perhaps
    you share the capacity for ignoring the facks inherent in deifying
    an admitted liar and bribe-taker and probable traitor that North
    is?
    
    What kind of man are you to question these proceedings, Hunt?  Maybe
    you wanna sign on as poor Crisp's attorney, or do you have the stones
    to accepts such a challenge?  [no]
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.381           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            381 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people!"   31 lines   1-FEB-1990 14:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >If you got the poop, dump it.  
     
    You're talking my language, but I cain't.
    
    >What's the holdup???
    
    Witness protection program.
                
    Tellya what, though.  I may just bring him up when he gets back
    from The Land of Make Believe on Tuesday.  The protected witness'
    testimony at this point is chump change compared to some of the
    radioactive material burning a hole in my pocket right now.
    
    What Mr. Knorr did was neither a prank nor innocent.
                       
    Anybody out there care to contact me with evidence and/or testimony?
    It's pouring in!  Join the crowd!
    
    re: my innocent college prank
                                     
    I confessed to it some time ago.  However, I maintained my innocence
    on the fraud rap and I'm off that hook now.  As for my not reneging,
    all I said was "this is my last note."  Verbatim.  I didn't say
    "this is my last not EVER" or "this is my last note FOR THE REST
    OF MY LIFE."  The implicit could just as easily be taken to mean
    "this is my last note TODAY" or "this is my last note UNTIL I'M
    DAMNED GOOD AND READY TO RETURN, WHICH IS WHEN I'M EXONERATED."
    
    Which I was.   
    
    MrT(ruth & Justice)
================================================================================
Note 110.387           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            387 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"    16 lines   2-FEB-1990 08:44
                        -< CALL FOR JUDGE AND JURY !! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    CALL FOR JURORS !!  CALL FOR JURORS !!  Per American custom we need
    at least six to be empaneled.
    
    CALL FOR JUDGE !!  CALL FOR JUDGE !!  Here come de Judge.  We need
    a_impartial persona to act Judge.  
    
    Material witnesses (you know whom you are) need NOT apply.  Too
    bad, Baby Doc, that leaves YOU out; otherwise you'd be perfect,
    indubitably impartial; haven't you pieced off everybody in this
    file at one time or another?
    
    I'm putting out this casting call serious [sic] now: We wouldn't
    want The Trial to end up looking as tawdry as Mr. Knorr's shabby
    "contest," now would we?
    
    MrT(roof is Coming) 
================================================================================
Note 110.388           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            388 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"     7 lines   2-FEB-1990 08:47
                           -< Bob Hunt: "meowwwww" >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    On the question of Mr. Knorr's counsel, apparenlty Bob Hunt has
    grown a pussy cat and has backed down.  Don't blame him, it's like
    a bunch of jockeys back in the stables before a race pulling straws
    on who has to ride a sway-backed old nag.  Nobody wants to ride
    a sure loser.
    
    MrT(roof is Coming)
================================================================================
Note 110.394           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            394 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"  26 lines   2-FEB-1990 11:50
              -< preview glimpse at some SPORTSgate testimony... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some a you wags out there are catcalling that I don't got squat as far
as hard evidence.  You'll see.  And I had Bob Hunt in here yesterday
subjecting me to unfair criticism by saying that I was running a "kangaroo"
operation for my own personal pleasure.  But this whole process has become
very painful for me; painful to hold back the rumbling volcano of a mountain
of evidence I'm sitting on; painful to feel the pain of others hurt by his
scam; painful to see SPORTS sullied and stained and smeared with Mr. Knorr's
offal Ivan Boesky-style behavior.  I've deleted the specific charges from
the deposition found below, leaving only the witness' visceral reactions to
what went on.  Read the following transcript (edited to protect the evidence)
and *feel* as dirty as this poor chap felt from interfacing with Mr. Knorr
and his fly-by-night snake oil sales operation:

>Early on, I noticed Crisp's little contest had, er, a certain smell
>to it.... the stench became unbearable...  I knew then that Chris was 
>working some scam, I could feel it.... How many other folks had thier 
>hands in the cookie jar?  How many folks did Chris make promises to?  
>How many others were involved in some sort of backroom bargaining??... Just 
>entering an ACC contest made me want to become a crook, a cheat... And ACCyst
>would look the other way, of that I was sure... I thought there was something
>with Dan from the beginning.  Starting with his two entries...

Do I have a motion to begin the trial earlier than Feb. 12th.  Cain OURGNG
afford to wait with people coming forward with things such as this?

MrT(roof is Coming)
================================================================================
Note 110.402           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            402 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"   19 lines   2-FEB-1990 13:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    TTom what TRASH you talkin' now?  And thank you Frank I accept
    your confirmation and modestly note that among my many qualifications
    for the job stands as a beacon the FACK that I'm the only one in
    here who didn't flop over and wriggle around on my back and yip
    and yap and grovel like a bone-begging mongrel puppy.  
    
    What does it say about Hunt and Haas (sounds like a gynecology
    practice) as persons that they are the only ones who've come in
    and spoken on Mr. Knorr's behalf?   I'm not calling Mr. Knorr a
    sleaze-bag, but I *am* saying that it's up to him to prove that
    he isn't one.  Perhaps the same must be said about those anxious
    to ack as his public spokespersons, eh?
    
    I agree we should wait till he returns from his private audience
    with Donald Duck before we start The Trial.  I'm in a big hurry,
    though, I just *know* that my case file and its rotten contents
    are gonna corrupt a perfectly good RA90....
    
    MrT(ruth in Advertising)
================================================================================
Note 110.407           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            407 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"   20 lines   2-FEB-1990 13:37
                               -< Judge Wapner? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Are we not men?
    
    We are Devo.
    
    re: Judge Wapner
    
    Your Honor!  Your Honor!
    
    The Prosecution requests that during the interim we empanel a Jury
    to hear the case.  We already have two volunteers and both are
    acceptable to the Prosecution.  And I'd like to make a respectful
    suggestion that the Court recruit prospective jurors from the football
    notes.  Although it's true that Mr. Knorr is known in these notes,
    he's known among the gridiron crowd as something of an innocuous
    lightweight not to be taken seriously.  We therefore contend that
    the habituees of 115 or 132 would have no axe to grind with the
    Defendant.
    
    MrT(ruth is Coming)
    
================================================================================
Note 110.419           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            419 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"  27 lines   5-FEB-1990 08:03
                           -< THE PROSECUTION MOVES >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Judge Wapner, your honor, the Prosecution would like to submit a
    a series of motions to regarding these proceedings.
    
    The Prosecution moves that Mr. Doug Ross be disallowed as Mr. Knorr's
    defense attorney.  Mr. Ross is doing this to avoid testifying for
    the Prosecution and, indirectly, impugning his own self.
    
    The Prosecution moves that a court-appointed attorney be assigned
    to Mr. Knorr - he's obviously not well in the haid.  Some of the
    beggy whiney pleady moany woany mails I've gotten from him are
    positively chilling...
    
    The Prosecution moves that the Trial start tomorrow.  The defendant
    will be back from the Land Of Make Believe at 8:30 EST tomorrow
    and why wait?
    
    The Prosecution moves that you get this Bob Hunt guy off my back.
    He's still peddling his sad-sack 32-point must scoring system as
    if it makes any sense.  Numerology is wrong.  He's in Contempt of
    your Court, Judge Wapner your Honor, by calling these proceedings
    a "charade" and a "kangroo court" when in fack we're willing to
    let the case follow the evidence, something Mr. Hunt has never been
    fully willing to do in any case or matter.  Judge Wapner, tell him 
    that *I'm* not the one on trial here, and to either leave me alone 
    or GIT.
    
    MrT(the Troof is Coming on STRONG)
================================================================================
Note 110.420           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            420 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"  11 lines   5-FEB-1990 08:09
                -< LIST OF WITNESSES TO BE CALLED TO THE STAND >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dan Schneider
    Doug Ross
    John Devlin
    Mike Childs
    Don Robichaud
    Dr. Midnight
    Chris Knorr
    
    MrT(elling It Like It IS)            
    
================================================================================
Note 110.427           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            427 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the people"   34 lines   5-FEB-1990 11:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >*THAT* is what happened, T.  No more, no less.
    
    Maybe we oughta put YOU on the stand, Mr. Witch Hunt.  It's creepy
    the way you cain take a shred of fack and twist it and slice it
    up and pervert it to your own mean purpose: All I ever said was
    that the second point system would be "more progressive" in its
    weighting.  I never said that the measure itself was any good; only
    that a more progressive weighting system would at least make it
    less flawed.  Then, after you unveiled your "results," which obviously
    you had in your back pocket when you originally approached me with
    the whole idea, I took it like a man, conceding its results.  
    
    My departure from notes soon thereafter, contrary to your misrepresntation
    otherwise, was entirely unrelated from your beloved 32-point rating
    system and its deformed output.      
                                                        
    You sneer "emperor" at me when in fack all *I* did was observe that I
    had proof that this contest was fixed, was challenged by the
    perpetrator to "prove it," and am now humbly performing a public
    service by answering Joe Public's demand that the Truth be told.
    
    You've alleged that this is a "witch hunt" and a "sideshow," but have
    yet to offer a sliver of proof to prove it.  Where's the beef?
     
    You play mighty fast and loose with the facks.  I guess having a guy
    like you impugning these proceedings is a positive.  You have as
    little respect for the Law as you do for Objective Analysis.
    
    re: Judge Wapner
    
    Thank you anyway, Your Honor.  In a way the Prosecution is quite happy
    to have Doug Ross at the other table.
    
    MrT(roof In Prosecution)
================================================================================
Note 110.429           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            429 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  15 lines   5-FEB-1990 11:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, I'm sure Judge Wapner won't do anything like *that*, 'Saw.
    
    It's important that we keep our haids during these proceedings.
    Let Mr. Witch Hunt's wild statements and irrational behavior from
    this morning stand as a lesson of what cain happen when all dignity
    is cast aside in favor of pursuing personal vendettas.  
    
    On a positive note, for my part, as a victim of mob psychology in the 
    past myself I have a special sensitivity to Mr. Knorr's situation here, 
    and will as always work to see the Truth brought out in a balanced,
    fair, and objective manner.
              
    So it shall be.
    
    MrT(ruth & Justice)
================================================================================
Note 110.438           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            438 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  32 lines   5-FEB-1990 13:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >You're right, T.  Mea Culpa.
    
    As usual.  You should be ashamed of yourself.
    
    But I'm not one to hold a grudge.  Let's just leave it here that
    your nonspecific complaining had more to do with ego gratification
    than contributing in any positive way to these proceedings. 
    
    What *was* it you were bellyachin' about, anyway?
            
    >Tail Gunner T
    
    Have you no respect for a man's creativity?  It's Tale Gunner (tm), 
    as in Tale Gunner Dan (tm) from about a year ago from one a Schneid's 
    misbeggoten mistruth [sic] campaigns.  *Please*, if you're gonna
    filch my material at least do it right and include the word play
    with "tale" as in "fictive ammo."
    
    >even if I had to fabricate it!
    
    Onan Dan the pathological fibber is at it again?  I axed that you
    hand over any evidence in your possession.  Never was any "linkage"
    implied between my axeing for genuine evidence and our trade talks.
    
    Perhaps you're remembering that pathological urge to fabricate on  
    the fly?
    
    You're to be the first witness called.  The Court will provide a
    spitoon to catch all the drivel that's bound to flow when I axe,
    "why were you awarded first prize?"
                                       
    MrT(ruth or Consequences)
================================================================================
Note 110.443           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            443 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  34 lines   5-FEB-1990 14:33
                        -< Cain't compromise the Truth >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why don't you just clear the Chambers, Mr. Witch Hunt?  Why don't
    you show some class and quit with the bone-picking and clear the way
    for Justice?   
    
    Here, I'll do my part and help clear the decks by succintly dispensing 
    of these your naysayings:  
    
       I never endorsed the more progressive of your two silly-assed
       point systems; I merely said the the more progressive of the
       two was the less misrepresentative.  For you to claim otherwise is
       a falsehood.  I also didn't protest your "scientific" findings
       using that particular point system; I accepted the results stoicly.
       For you to claim otherwise is a falsehood.  
    
       Your "you're right, T... Mea culpa" wasn't uttered in sarcasm; it
       was uttered in all seriousness I *am* right, you *are* wrong,
       and *culpable* too!  
    
       You got caught by me telling a fib, retracted it, I was perhaps
       a teensy bit less than graceful in accepting your apology, and
       now you've put yourself in the position of coming back and
       retracting your admission of having abused the facks with yet
       another false claim, this one that the truth was only a joke.
    
    Feel better now?  Compromise?  
    
    Ok, we're even.  But remember that some of us cain't compromise
    the Truth, nor even joke about it.  You're caught up in a tailspin
    of ladling on successive falsehoods to cover-up their predecessors. 
    
    Based on that, would you be willing to appear on the stand as a
    character witness for Mr. Knorr, the crooked game show host?
    
    MrT(ruth or Consequences)
================================================================================
Note 110.445           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            445 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  17 lines   5-FEB-1990 15:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Thank you.
    
    *I* for one am taking this affair VERY seriously.  The guy threw
    a contest, cynically manipulated several of his neighbors, and 
    finally rigged the results.  
    
    That the Courtroom is disrupted by ol' Witch Hunt's mistaken 
    reminisces only gives us a flavor of what's bound to happen when 
    Mr. Knorr finally appears tomorrow: Misinformation born of ill will
    run through the infectuous sieve of bad thinking.
    
    Whooops!  
    
    Excuse me, Your Honorable Judge Wapner.  I think I just gave the
    summation for the Defendant!  
    
    MrT(ruth in Advertising) 
================================================================================
Note 110.447           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            447 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "People's Court for the PEOPLE!"  14 lines   5-FEB-1990 15:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >you're perverting the judicial system.
    
    It's prejudicial abuse like this that we'll stomp out with this
    trial.  Hasn't even started yet and this naysayer is in here waggling
    his negative attitude as if it's somehow proof of anything.
    
    For once in your life why don't you just lay back and enjoy the
    facks as they unfold.
    
    Note to Mr. Knorr: It's still not too late to confess.  Either that
    or be seen in court with the likes of Mr. Witch Hunt here and take
    the fall based on the evidence.
    
    MrT(rying to Make Things Right)
================================================================================
Note 110.456           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            456 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"            21 lines   6-FEB-1990 12:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Where's the crook?
    
    Anybody seen ACC Crisp?  You mean to tell me we done all this careful
    groundwork-laying and he's gonna cop out?  I fight my way through
    jammed network traffic all morning and now he ain't showed up?
    
    That tells *me* one helluva lot about his alleged "innocence" in
    this matter.  Less than a week ago he was blustering on about how
    we ain't got nothing and he'll meet us in court blah blah and now
    he probably ain't even turned on his terminal today for fear that
    the long muscular arm of the Law will reach out and grab him by
    the throat and pull him right over the EZnet to an accounting.
    
    He ain't showed up cuz he knows he's gonna get nailed with my proof-
    troof like nobody has never seed.  I *know* he goes to one a them
    churches where they bare witness every Sunday so it ain't exackally
    like he cain't figure out how to testify.
    
    C'MON OUT CYST!!  Skeert?
    
    MrT(he OURGNG County Prosecutor)
================================================================================
Note 110.465           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            465 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"            31 lines   6-FEB-1990 13:04
                            -< LET THE TRIAL BEGIN >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Nyah why don't ya shaddap, Mr. Withch Hunt.  If you don't have 
    anything positive to say why not just cork it?  And read my hips: 
    the Prosecution has the right to accuse the accused; the evidence
    ain't been presented cuz the trial ain't started yet; and you don't
    have so much as a rat's ass of a sliver of evidence that these
    proceedings are anything less than totally fair...
    
    ... cuz they ain't even started yet!
    
    Maybe you instictively side with ACCrook here cuz a prejudicial
    contest judge is something you cain identify with.  Well, fine.
    But you have no right to come in here to trot out that point system
    you keep in a glass case, or the usual gaggle of rotten accusations
    and assordid personal_attacks against yours truly.
    
    Judge Wapner !!  Your Honor, sir!!
    
    First, a motion that the Defendant is insane and as such should
    have a Welfare Dept. assigned attorney speak on his behalf.  Frank
    Way, maybe?                       
    
    And Your Honor, shall we empanel a Jury or simply let put it to
    a vote once the extremely damaging testimony is heard?
    
    I'm ready to call my first witness, just give me the ok and let's
    crank these fine proceedings up.  Justice at last.  
    
    Only in America are purse snatching crooks guranteed a free and fair 
    trial.
    
    MrT(rial by Objective Analysis)
================================================================================
Note 110.478           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            478 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice has its price"           53 lines   6-FEB-1990 15:16
                   -< OPENING ARGUMENT FOR THE PROSECUTION >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >deceit... lies... more lies... propaganda... injustice... history
    >is chalk-ful [sic] of these...
    
    The sentiment in this passage captures the Prosecution's thrust.
    Deceit is everywhere in today's world, and it breeds all forms of
    injustice - almost all of it delivered on the platforms of media.
    But noting is a unique medium that the little guy cain talk back;
    he cain question and doubt, challenge and rout.  Our universe in
    in OURGNG County represents all the best that was envisioned by
    Jefferson and Rousseau, by Adams and Niel Postman.
    
    So today the little guys, the backbone of OURGNG, are talking back.
    We hath been tread upon by a rotten cabal and hath snappeth back,
    "don't tread on me."
    
    Yea, for the media proclaimed that the Salvadoran rebels were
    receiving their arms from Nicaragua, but then it was found  that they 
    were buying them from arms dealing cabals founded by the CIA... and
    then NO one was told.  Yea, for the media proclaimed that a warehouse
    in Grenada was filled to the roof with arms, but it was shown that it
    was only a fifth full... and then NO one was told.  Yea, for the media
    proclaimed that 50 lbs. of cocaine was found in Manny Noriega's
    freezer, but then it was revealed that it was tamale mix in the
    bag not coke... and then NO one was told about that either.
    
    Yea O, eee O, *this* medium came reared up and told us that a contest
    would be a fair contest, and the "winner's" mediocre entry was selected
    for first place... and now YOU will be told. 
    
    For this is a two-way medium, undergirded by other media, where
    people talk and pass information back and forth among themselves.
    This is the land of the little guy, who's mad as hell and ain't
    gonna take it any more.
    
    The Prosecution will prove that Mr. Chris Knorr did fail to apply
    his own stated scoring criteria.  It will prove that he then presented
    us with rigged scoring sheets and a false winner.  The Prosecution
    will prove that these scores and the so-called "winner" were the
    fruits of a conspiracy of falsehood, of furtive negotations to arrive
    at the contest's fitful conclusion by the path of elitist conspiracy...
    against the little guy.
    
    The Prosecution will prove BEYOND ANY REASONABLE DOUBT that, indeed,
    Chris ACCrook Knorr went so far as to put his contest's first prize
    up for bid, cynically manipulating contestants in a concerted effort
    with malice of forethought and ill intent to cheat... the little
    guy of a fair shot at the press box in a tawdry parade along the
    path of dishonesty he blazed with multiple counts of Wire Fraud, Cabalism 
    and, yes O God O Mother of Mary YES, ... Indecent Extrapolation.
    
    The Prosecution calls as its first witness Mr. Dan "Onan" Schneider.
    
    MrT(ruth, Justice, the American Way)
================================================================================
Note 110.492           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            492 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice is Truth is Righteous"     6 lines   7-FEB-1990 10:03
                      -< FIRST QUESTION OF FIRST WITNESS >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (leaning against the defense stand rail, back arrogantly shown to
    the witness and looking over to the Jury)
    
    Mr. Schneider, how much?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.493           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            493 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice is Truth is Righteous"    24 lines   7-FEB-1990 10:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Judge Wapner, while we await Mr. Schneider's feeble response the
    Prosecution would like to rebut Mr. Knorr's opening argument:
    
    The charges in no way dispute that the tickets to be given away
    as first prize were the defendant's rightful property.  Similarly,
    the charges don't dispute that the contest's scoring system was
    inteneded to operate on the subjective judgement of the contest
    judge, the defendeant Mr. Knorr.
    
    The Prosecution concedes that the tickets were his property and
    the criteria were subjective.  
    
    The Prosecution notes, for the Court and for the Jury, that these
    two points bear no relevance to the charges against Mr. Knorr: 
    As with the game show scandals of early 1960s television, ACCrook
    Knorr did willfully, wantonly, and maliciously seek to take his
    property and bend his subjective criteria in such a way that the
    contest was turned into an immoral, unethical, and illegal tour
    de force in Fraud, Indecent Extrapolation, and Cabalism.
    
    In other words, he promised a straight contest and ran a crooked
    one, and that, Your Honor, is CRIMINAL.
    
    MrT(hank you)
================================================================================
Note 110.495           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            495 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice is Truth is Righteous"     5 lines   7-FEB-1990 11:31
                      -< THE PROSECUTION CALLS DOUG ROSS >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Balliff informs the court that Mr. Schneider has left town.
    
    The Prosecution calls one Doug Ross.  DOUG ROSS!
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.500           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            500 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Truth is Justice is Righteous"     7 lines   7-FEB-1990 12:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mr. Ross, I understand that you had private contacts with Mr. Knorr
    and others in the days leading up to the final day of the contest.
    
    Could you name those with whom you had private contact and relate
    the content of these sordid communications?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.501           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            501 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Truth is Justice is Righteous"    31 lines   7-FEB-1990 12:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (pulls his lip back in the worst possible Alonzo Mourning-style
    threatening sneer)
    
    >How much?  46, that's how much.
    
    ANSWER THE QUESTION ONAN!!
    
    (blush)
    
    Heh heh, excuse me, Your Honor.  Please have that outburst stricken
    from the record.                                               
    
    (turning to the oily witness, a look of bemused repulsion)
    
    Mr. .... Schneider.  Isn't it true that you have a history of, ahhhh...
    telling half-truths?  Of issues manipulation?  Why, I think the
    Jury saw a little of just that with your evasion, WHICH PROBABLY
    CONSTITUTES CONTEMPT OF COURT.
    
    I'll axe the question once again, Mr. Schneider: 
    
    What did you give and how much of it did you give to this ACC Chris
    character in exchange for "winning" first place?
    
    And a follow up question: Were you aware of any private contacts
    being made in the days leading up to the contest's shabby denouement?
    ISN'T IT A FACT THAT YOU YOURSELF WERE INVOLVED IN PRIVATE CONTACTS
    WITH MR. KNORR AND OTHER PRIVATE PARTIES IN A CABALISTIC EFFOR TO
    ARRANGE THE CONTEST'S RESULTS?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.506           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            506 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Truth is Justice is Righteous"    57 lines   7-FEB-1990 12:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I made the offer re: Dan as second-rate choice
    
    (turning, spinning on the balls of his kid leather Italian loafers,
    winking at the Jury with a mock conspiratorial nod)
     
    I don't think even *this* zealous Court would pretend to argue the
    fack that Dan's second-rate...
                                                       
    (hearty laugh from all in the Courtroom, exchange of pleased glances
    among several Jurors)         
    
    ... but you skirt my question, Mr. Ross:
    
    Isn't it true that you were approached by Mr. Knorr with explicit
    threatening verbiage muscling contest participants about it mattered 
    whom they'd take *if* they won?  Isn't it true that Mr. Knorr was
    polling his clique, his cabal as it were, to arrange the final
    standings to ensure that the cabal was well-served with two not
    one winners as was advertised.
    
    AREN'T THESE THINGS TRUE.  NO?  PERHAPS YOUR MEMORY NEEDS A LITTLE
    ASSISTANCE, MR. ROSS, A LITTLE ASSISTANC FROM YOUR OWN SWORN DEPOSITION
    TO THE PROSECUTION:
    
    	"I knew someting was fishy long before Friday... I thought I
    	 had a good shot at the title and sent some mail to Knorr. 
    	 He responded with a 'So who would you take if you won?' query...
         I told him the truth which probably started the backroom dealing.
         I was prodded with questions like 'Do you know /Don?' or 'Do
    	 you have a kid who would be heartbroken if you didn't win?'
    	 Shameless.  I'm lucky I got one ticket out of the deal."
    
    Shameless.  Deal.  Rig the contest.  Steal.  
    
    Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, Your Honor, let the record show
    that Mr. Chris "ACCrook" Knorr indeed was arbitrating the results
    of his contest through a far reaching network of cigar-chomping
    back room contacts.  Let the record show that this proves that the
    contest was a fraud, that he abrogated his own point system, subjective
    or not, that the final standings were indeed arranged according
    to the outcome yielded by these private contacts, and that these
    contacts occured within the dark framework of a private clique,
    an exclusionary cabal. 
    
    ACCrook attempted to muscle /Don Robichaud, who had apprently won
    the contest legitimately, but the witness didn't give the correct
    response.  So Rochibaud was dealt out, Mr. Schneider ended up
    "winning," and he - a character well-known for his elitism - consented
    to take Mr. Ross.
    
    O yee O, O Your Honor, let the record show that even this once proud
    but now stained man cringing on the witness stand, who sacrificed
    his conferential pride for a ticket, AND GOT HIS TICKET, still was
    moved to approach the Prosecution with evidence so that things might
    be made right in this...
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.517           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            517 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Truth is Justice is Righteous"    9 lines   7-FEB-1990 15:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (absentmindedly at his crotch, Mike Ditka-style)
    
    So, Mr. Schneider, think you're a big man, eh?
    
    Please be kind enough to relate to the Jury what what was said in
    your private communications with Mr. Knorr on the final day of the
    contest.
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.522           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            522 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  35 lines   7-FEB-1990 15:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (slamming his legal notepad to the defense table, stands erect and
    faces the "judge")
    
    "judge," I object!  The witness Mr. Ross gave evidence, and now, on
    the very day he's to collect his prize, he's changing it to contradict
    his own evidence and favor the defendant.
    
    The Prosecution moves that his contention that several smiley faces
    had inadvertantly been left out is false, fake, and fallacious,
    and moreover is untrue and a dirty lie to boot, and that it be stricken
    from the record and the Jury be instructed to disregard it! 
    
    (leaning over the rail and looking the witness deep in his blinking
    dilated eyeballs)
    
    Mr. Ross, you've already admitted that you were approached by Mr.
    Knorr axeing, "who [sic] would you take if you won?"  Now doesn't
    that sound to you like an overture, a statement, from this ACCrook
    that he would select the winner according to what guarantees he
    could obtain for the second ticket?
    
    Didn't you take this as a tender from Mr. Knorr to cut a deal, to
    strike an arrangement on who would win.  Moreover, didn't this leave
    you with the clear impression that ACCrook didn't have a rat's ass
    of an intention to honestly apply his own published scoring criteria.
    
    In fack, AREN'T YOU UP HERE PERJURING YOURSELF RIGHT NOW IN ORDER
    THAT YOUR PRECIOUS BASKETBALL TICKETS BE KEPT OUT OF HARM'S WAY!!
    
    (turns his back to the flinching witness, buttons the lower button
    on his double breasted grey chalk-stripe Giorgio Armani, faces the Jury)
    
    I remind you, *Mr.* Ross: You are under oath.
    
    MrT(ough on Perjurers)  
================================================================================
Note 110.528           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            528 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT for OURGNG Governor in '91"  55 lines   7-FEB-1990 15:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >He suggested I take the second place finisher, Doug Ross.  I said
    >okay.
    
    AHA !!  *He*, then the judge prevailed upon you to take Mr. Ross.
    You're known as a surly sort, didn't it occur to you to tell him
    to go straight to hell and that IF you won the second ticket was
    yours and wasn't any of his business?
    
    No it didn't, now did it?
    
    WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT YOU AGREED TO TAKE MR. ROSS AS PART OF THE
    SETTLEMENT WHEREBY YOU *BOTH* WON.  Funny how the final standings
    matched up so nicely with the secret arrangement.  If ACCrook had
    been honest and upstanding in running his contest he wouldn't have
    DREAMED of telling a potential winner what to do with his potential
    property...
    
    (turning to the Jury and raising his finger, a thoughful look crosses
    his handsome brow)
               
    ... and moreover, what's the significance of ACCrook's timing in
    all this?  Yes, let's put our thinking caps on, ladies and gentlemen
    of the fine Jury.  Yes, why *was* Mr. Knorr firing off background
    memos axeing contestants suspicious "what would you do" questions?
    
    I'll tellya what *I* think: I think when a guy's holding two basketball
    tickets under *my* nose axeing me "do you know" he's REALLY saying
    "are you in the in crowd, do you qualify politically for this" and
    similar PUKE-SPIKED BILGE !!
    
    (throws his arms skyward, hands open)
    
    My GAWD !!  The defense axes us to believe these sordid activities,
    questions, thinly-veiled threats, THAT TOOK PLACE BEFORE THE CONTEST
    RESULTS WERE ANNOUNCED...  were merely Mr. Knorr showing concern
    about what would happen after he went ahead and scientifically applied
    his own published criteria regardless of the responses given him
    to all these queries. 
    
    (sarcastic look wrenches a usually placid visage)
    
    *Yeah*.  He axed all these questions just before the contest ended
    out of simple, innocent curiosity.
    
    (spins dramatically and squares himself elbows akimbo facing the
    "judge")
    
    Your *honor*, I axe that Mr. Ross be held in Contempt and booked
    for Perjury.  I axe that it be duly noted in the record that Mr.
    Schneider is one very seedy fellow.  I axe that this court be recessed,
    I need to take a deep massage poop and maybe chuck a puke or two
    to cleanse myself from even being in the same chambers with these
    people.  A cleansing process, y'know...
    
    MrT(erribly Disappointed)
================================================================================
Note 110.533           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            533 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT for OURGNG Governor in '91"  29 lines   7-FEB-1990 16:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I move that we recess until tomorrow.
    
    But first a_explanation to the Jury:
    
    Today's witnesses weren't meant to be "friendly" to the Persecution.
    They were meant to tell the Troof.  It was like pulling teef, they
    held back, clutched at it like they clutched at those lousy little
    billets they pimped their pride for, but here are the shreds, at
    least, of the troof that came out:
    
    1.  ACCrook involved himself in a sleaze-bagged pattern of activity;
    	he had set up a separate level of contestants and rules, and
    	sought to appply them within a cabal.
    
    2.  Mr. Dan "Onan" Schneider was forced by ACCrook to relinquish
        half of first prize in order to get the other half.
    
    3.  Mr. Doug "Fallen Big10 Man" Ross has changed his own testimony
        under fire, insulting you fine jurors to believe the unbelievable
        and accept his apparently fantastic interpretation that ACCrook
        meant with his "who would you take" "do you know" questions
    	were only mere disinterested idle curiosity somehow detached
        from other decisions being made at the same time.
    
    Tomorrow, more I'd like Mr. John Devlin up on the stand first thing.
    I reserve the right to recall both of today's witnesses to the stand.
    
    MrT(errific Prosecutor)
================================================================================
Note 110.556           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            556 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges, right" 16 lines   8-FEB-1990 10:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Judge, my motion that Mr. Ross be cited for Perjury is still
    outstanding.  
    
    And based on fallacious newspaper reports, let the record show that
    Mr. Ross' smiley faces were only a court room stunt; and that his
    concession that the original deposition contained no smiley faces
    establishes that he's changing his testimony, that the original
    was serious in nature, and raises the strong likelihood that the
    witness has been co-opted by the defense.
    
    The Prosecution calls Mr. John Devlin.  JOHN DEVLIN !!
    
    If Mr. Devlin cain't testify now then I axe that he inform the court
    of his unavailability.  
    
    MrT(errific Prosecutor)
================================================================================
Note 110.559           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            559 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges right?" 10 lines   8-FEB-1990 10:44
                -< PROSECUTION WITNESSES BRIBED!  THREATENED! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Your Honor!
    
    It has been brought to my attention that the defendant is tampering
    with witnesses by threat and by bribery.
    
    I DEMAND that you call Mr. Knorr to the stand, put him under oath,
    and axe him specifically if he's contacted any witnesses since they
    were announced, and if so to what effect.
    
    MrT(erribly Disappointed)
================================================================================
Note 110.565           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            565 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges right" 116 lines   8-FEB-1990 11:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (turns back disrespectfully to the bench, flexes broad musculature
    threateningly, eyes glistening with a barely perceptible coating
    of tear juice, voice in tremelo pitissimo of barely restrained yet
    very manly emotion, faces the jury first, then the gallery)
    
    So.
    
    It has been revealed to the Prosecution, and now to the good citizens
    of OURGNG, the little guys, who Judge Wapner is.  
    
    Like a last chapter in a John Le Carre spy novel, the ever-spinning
    web of deceit, corruption, and double-deceit closes in on itself as a 
    self-sealing self-perpetuating all-adaptable cabal of craven cronyism.
    And as in any good propaganda scam, even a usually obsequious but always
    narrow-minded journalist hangs from the evil ethereal threads of acrimonious
    agitprop making up any nefarious network of furtive falsehood, compliantly
    spouting conspiratorial complaints as if they somehow even remotely
    related to The Troof.
    
    (voice rising in the conviction of righteous indignation)
    
    WHAT kind of men would first rig a contest for personal gain, defraud
    the public into belittling themselves for the puerile pleasures
    of a GEEKY sideshow, then complain of the catcalls, demand a trial by
    jury, and finally FIX the FRAME around the innocents in their intrepid
    inquisition?
    
    What kind of DISHONOR, I axe you !!
    
    I CHALLENGE every man, woman, child, and nimrod in this courtroom
    to look in the mirror and axe themselves the mendaciousness required
    of a crooked contest judge to not only fix a contest and thumb his
    nose cynically at the hoodwinked contestants, but to then demand
    a trial so that he might appoint a co-conspirator as JUDGE.
    
    The very evil ethos courses in their veins as a LIFEBLOOD of
    samllminded but scintillating SALACIOUSNESS !!  
    
    Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury and of the gallery, I reveal to
    you that "his honor" Judge Wapner is none other than:
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    			the very schneid Dan Schneider
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    OoooOOOOooooH.
    
    (collapses against the rail as if punched from behind, mops highminded
    brow with dry cleaned and pressed silk hankerschief, rights himself)
    
    I axe you...
    
    (suddenly lurches, hand over mouth, almost vomits!)
    
    ... midway through this Trial, shouldn't we conclude a pattern of
    changed, rigged, testimony, fixed procedures, cynical defendants,
    that it is HIGH TIME we appoint a new judge, a_impartial judge,
    a publicly known and respectable judge, and move forward from there?
    
    Yes, we certainly should.  And we will.
    
    (turns to face now-exposed fake judge, curls lip in the same Alonzo 
    Mourning-style sneer used in first day of trial)
    
    As for *you*, git down from there!  I bet you and the fallen Doug
    Ross and a few horselaughs over the beer at my expense last night,
    eh?
    
    (rushes bench, begins slapping the cringing exposed fake judge up
    side de haid, Balliff separates them, Mr. Prosecutor smooths ruffled 
    dark blue double-breasted Italian cut sharkskin, tightens tie, smooths
    shining hair with left hand as he walks up to now cowering ex-judge
    as Balliff removes black robe from his narrow shoulders)
                                                            
    ... as for *you*, if you have ANY idea about continuing with this
    shabby little fraud of yours may I remind you that the Network Police
    need only complain to DIS that somebody's gone anonymous on node
    HUAXIA and we'd like to know who has access to that system and then
    it would be proved beyond dispute.  
    
    I'm a noble and just sort, we'll just sweep this squalid little
    episode under the mat I wipe the soles of my Ballys on coming in
    from the parking lot, and move forward as if it didn't really happen.
    
    I move that a new judge be appointed, and that ACCrook Knorr be
    remanded to custody.  I also move that before any following this
    trial read any more of that Yellow Journalism being dolloped out
    like so much sputum from Mr. Witch Hunt note that *I* broke this
    story, and that *he* has all the inquisitiveness and objectivity
    and commitment to exposing the Troof of a Congressional Ethics
    Committee. 
              
    MrT(erribly Proud of Himself)
================================================================================
Note 110.571           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            571 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges right?" 43 lines   8-FEB-1990 12:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Nyah shaddap, ACCrook.  You insult our intelligence with these little
    faux acts a yours.  Anybody cain figure out a good sham works to
    reinforce its own credibility.  To wit:
    
    >anti-Carolina notes as the entries by MrT and Bob Hunt made it
    >so far proves (that the contest was fairly judged) beyond any shadow
    >of a doubt....
    
    Blah blah blah.  All it proves beyond "any shadow of a doubt" is
    that you had the minimum brainpower to light a 40 watt bulb and
    figure out that a little plausible deniability would be in order
    so long as you were gonna rig a contest to begin with.
    
    So now you thump that concave heartless chest of yours with those
    hands that hath wrought such cynical havoc on our hearts and minds
    to the unbelievable conclusion that cuz you publicly "demanded"
    to know the Judge Wapner's identity somehow "proves beyond any shadow
    of a doubt" that you didn't know who he was.
    
    Your idea of what constitutes an adequate test of proof leaves open
    to question not only how the contest was run, but your very integrity
    as a defense attorney.
    
    HUAXIA is located at the same facility that Schneid sits in.  Schneid
    is the only sportsnoter from that facility.  Judge Wapner is created
    for the trial, but maintains secrecy as to his true identity.  You
    "demand" to know his real identity, then suddenly drop that demand,
    as if reassured by yet another of those sordid private communications
    you like so much.  "Judge" Wapner goes on to rule in your favor
    100% of the time, and does so in the same wooden prose we know so
    well as Schneid's.  All of "Judge" Wapners entries are in quotation
    marks, no doubt an effort by the author to somehow maintain a
    separation between himself and the fraud he's perpetrating - a device
    we've seen with disppointing frequency in all of Scheid's endeavors.
    
    The only clue poor Schneid didn't manage to tip was that he didn't
    rule out any evidence not including dastisticks (tm) from Bill James.
    
    What's your problem with a known person serving as Judge, ACCrook?
    Skeert of having the Trial you huffily demanded be run by someone
    truly disinterested, objective, and verifiably equable?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.572           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            572 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges right?"  5 lines   8-FEB-1990 12:44
                -< MOTION FOR A NEW JUDGE, HERE COME DE JUDGE! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Prosecution moves that a Moderator or some other person of known
    good reputation, objectivity, and credibility be annointed as Judge
    for this trial.
    
    MrT(erribly 'motional Prosecutor)
================================================================================
Note 110.582           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            582 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges right?" 39 lines   8-FEB-1990 13:51
                                   -< 1-2-3 >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >no proof
    
    Well, how 'bout we let the ladies and gentlemen in this fine
    courtroom log-on and find the proof of de Troof for themselves:
    
    Step #1
    
    Go into VTX, at the CHOICE prompt hit PF1 then #7 on your keypad. This
    will prompt you for a keyword: Type Node_Location, then just follow
    the directions. This will tell you the node is located at GSF.
           
    Step #2
    
    Go into ELF, use the FIND command on Dan Schneider, and read the
    part about how he *also* just "happens" to be at GSF.
                                                             
    Step #3
    
    Then, think about these things: Dan "won" the contest; Dan admits
    he had secret communications with Mr. Perpetrator prior to seeing
    his "victory" announced to Joe Public; Judge Wapner is created and
    proceeds to make a mockery of Justice by ruling for ACCrook 100%
    of the time; Judge Wapner insists that his true identity be kept
    secret; ACCrook "demands" that he reveal himself, and then quickly
    rescinds the "demand," and later points to his "demand" of proof
    of his ignorance of Wapner's identity; you've just proved to yourself
    that node HUAXIA sits in location code GSF; you've just proved to
    yourself that Dan Schneider sits in location code GSF; you also
    wondered why Wapner and Schneid were absent during the same time
    periods...
    
    ... ; you also scratch your haid and wonder why ACCrook is so intent
    on retaining the suspicious Wapner at Judge; and why he also is
    skeert of having a known quantity replace him.
    
    The Prosecution moves that the Jury decide to remove Wapner from
    the bench by following Steps #1-3.  
    
    MrT(he Prosecution's WINNING now)
================================================================================
Note 110.609           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            609 of 1218
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "they hang crooked judges right?" 36 lines   8-FEB-1990 16:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .591
    
    Give it up, ACCrook.  No evidence need be turned over to you prior
    to its introduction in court.  You're a big boy - git your owned
    damned evidence.  And tell your buddy Dan-the-faux-Judge to quit
    badgering my witnesses with demands that they turn it over or he'll
    (as if *he's* still running this Trial) "have to throw it out."
    
    And boy, not too bright of you to have failed to retain copies of
    those crooked mails you sent my witnesses negotiating the sale of
    first place.  
    
    If you had kept your own copies you wouldn't have to go to my witnesses
    hat-in-hand begging for copies, now would you; if you hadn't actually
    sent them, you wouldn't be worried about them either, now would you;
    and if you hadn't sent pleading mails today to my witnesses suggesting
    that certain Doug Ross-style "arrangements" be worked out as to the 
    true meaning of these very damaging documents you wouldn't be in such
    deep doo-doo, now would you?
    
    (turning to the Jury)
    
    So what'll it be, ladies and gentlemen?  The Colorado Bar Association
    has axed that the faux-Judge Wapner, a.k.a. Dan Schneider, remove
    himself from the bench.  Indeed you've by now certainly satisfied
    yourselves that it is Dan on HUAXIA; and that ACCrook's false claims
    that this must be established beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt
    wrong - that even the appearance of impropriety or conflict of interest
    dictates that a Judge recuse himself; and that either a new Judge is
    needed or an agreement to go without a judge.
    
    One respectable request from The Prosecution, however: Whomever
    it is I axe that it be a known quantity, not another fake like this
    GERTA::SIRICA character peddling himself to you.
    
    MrT(he Prosecution's Ready to Proceed)
================================================================================
Note 110.615           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            615 of 1218
LIAR::SHAUGHNESSY "JudgeWapner=FakeJudge=RealDanS."  99 lines   8-FEB-1990 17:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >(I) love SPORTS... (I don't) want to be exiled.
                                                  
    (turning to the increasingly impatient Jury)
    
    There we have it.  A first ever for SPORTS.  The guy screws everybody
    with his rotten crooked contest and now he's launching thinly-veiled
    threats that he'll quit this file in a huff if the Troof is brought
    out.  He's frightened, ladies and gentlemen of the fine Jury, as
    in s-k-e-e-r-t.
                       
    >I nominate John Hendry for judge.
    
    Unacceptable.  Hendry is a close friend of the defendant.  Justice
    demands somebody neutral.  
    
    I nominate, ohh, how about Glenn Waugaman for Judge.  He's perfectly
    neutral, has a sterling reputation as an objective sports analyst,
    and is widely-regard as an eminent baseball writer - a sport that
    requires more intelligence to understand than any other (chess is
    a game, not a sport).
    
    If not him, then somebody of similar credentials: IceMAN Gronowski.
    
    (walks to blackboard, picks up chalk)
    
    While we await disposition as to whether we replace the now departed,
    discredited, and disregarded faux-Judge "Dan Schneider" Wapner, let 
    us make use of the spare time to review what the Prosecution has
    established after only two witnesses, both beligerent:
    
    - Messrs. Schneider and Ross both admit to pre-end-of-contest furtive
      contacts from ACCrook, and were axed "what if" type questions.
                                 
    - Mr. Schneider admits that in these furtive contacts ACCrook
      prevailed upon him to take Doug Ross with the second ticket.
    
    - The only innocent explanation for these furtive contacts is that
      ACCrook sought to fill a disinterested curiosity as to what the
      fate of the second would be "if" his "suggestion" were taken as
      to its use.
    
    - The more likely explanation for the now-admitted furtive contacts
      is that ACCrook sought to arrange a faux winner so that there
      would be no single winner, but two "good losses" instead, a_emotion
      in good keeping with the Star Heels' rather sad tournament history.
                                                                  
    - Surprise!  Messrs. Schneider and Ross finish 1st and 2nd respectively
      (but not respectably).
    
    - Doug Ross changes his own testimony, claims it was only a joke after all.
    
    - Dan Schneider is exposed as Judge Wapner.
    
    - ACCrook begs the court to keep Judge Wapner on.
    
    - ACCrook threatens prosecution witnesses.
                                                  
    - Prosecution witnesses tell ACCrook to bugoff.
    
    - The deposed Judge Wapner threatens prosecution witnesses.
                                                   
    - Ditto Wapner.
    
    - ACCrook admits to demanding certain documents of prosecution
      witnesses, which means he's aware of their existence, which in
      turn also means that when they're *finally* entered as evidence
      their authenticity cain't be disputed.
                   
    - ACCrook nominates his best buddy in DEC to replace his co-conspirator
      as "judge."
    
    - ACCrook, in a fit of prescient pique, threatens to quit the file
      if convicted.
    
    (turns from blackboard to face Jurors)
    
    Whaddya wanna bet that ACCrook pulls a sleaze-bagged Doug Ross gambit
    and claims that *his* own texts, his OWN words, once entered here
    as self-damning evidence, and claims he was only kidding?
    
    After all that's gone down in these oaken chambers, after all the
    lies and arrogance and cheat-ass obfuscation... are you gonna be
    satisfied with such bar-association bilge?
    
    I say NO.  I say that you are one FINE Jury.  I say that you, ladies
    and gentlemen, represent the little guy in this room.  I say that
    you are just folk, like me, are members of NO cabal.  I say that
    you people, doggone it, are the best damned Jury ever to've been
    empaneled and that, like the Little Engine That Could, are gonna
    chug-chug-tug-a-tug these proceedings over the mountain of bull
    piled SO high in here by faux-judges and perjuring-witnesses and
    obfuscating-defenese-attorneys and see to it that the Troof will
    RISE up and be respected at long last !!
    
    (bows to court)
    
    Thank you.
    
    MrT(he Prosecution Has Won)
================================================================================
Note 110.617           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            617 of 1218
LIAR::SHAUGHNESSY "JudgeWapner=FakeJudge=Schneid"    19 lines   8-FEB-1990 17:52
            -< CALL FOR JUSTICE/CALL FOR A JUDGE/MOVING MOVEMENTS >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Prosecution moves that a new Judge be annointed.  American trial
    law REQUIRES that a Judge recuse himself in cases of conflict of
    interest - and being a co-conspirator constitutes a some kinda conflict 
    of interest.
    
    The Prosecution demands a Judge of known identity.
    
    The Prosecution impugns the faux-Judge Wapner and his co-conspirator
    ACCrook for insisting on using a secret account to fill the bench.
    
    The Prosecution pukes pizza puke all over their cardboard stiff
    argument that it must be proved that Wapner is a Schneid character;
    it needn't be proved at all, the mere strong likelihood is more
    than enough to make ol' rockhead Wapner's removal mandatory.
    
    The Prosecution moves that somebody neutral present himself to the
    Jury as a candidate for Judge.  Fakes need not apply.
    
    MrT(aunts, not answers from Dan/Wapner & ACCrook)
================================================================================
Note 110.618           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            618 of 1218
LIAR::SHAUGHNESSY "JudgeWapner=FakeJudge=Schneid"    11 lines   8-FEB-1990 17:56
                                  -< BUGOFF >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: Bob "Witch" Hunt
    
    The Trial doesn't have anything to do with who uses the tickets.
    Read the charges and understand that they have nothing to do with
    who gets the tickets.
    
    As for your repeated demands that I quit noting (after months of
    axeing me to return), I made my number a month ago, and ftm note
    about 1/10 per year what you do.  Bugoff.
    
    MrT(erribly Noble Purpose)
================================================================================
Note 110.630           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            630 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "JudgeWapner=FakeJudge=Schneid"  16 lines   9-FEB-1990 10:43
                         -< DR. MIDNIGHT TAKES STAND >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (Dr. Midnight takes the stand, is sworn in, Mr. Prosecutor faces
    the Jury)
    
    Before we start with the witness, and given that we're apparently
    to proceed without a judge now that the fake one has been discredited,
    you the Jury must rule on the procedures of court.
    
    Mr. Knorr can not cross-examine until the Prosecution is finished
    with all its witnesses.  I've taken testimony from two, and have
    four to go.  He'll just have to wait now won't he?
    
    (turns towards Dr. Midnight)
    
    Doctor, what field of specialty do you practice?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.651           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            651 of 1218
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "Justice by MrT for the PEOPLE"    23 lines   9-FEB-1990 14:46
                             -< SPEAK, *DOCTOR*. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >We shall commence where we left off.
    >
    >Judge Wapner
    
    Which means we shan't pay a gnat's nuts wortha heed to you, Dan
    
    (turns to Dr. Midnight)
    
    >That's *Doctor* to you two!
    
    Chill out, that's how I addressed you.
    
    Now, you seem like a very fine individual to me.  And let the record
    show that you WITHOUT DOUBT objective; you've managed to piece off
    everybody in this file at one time or another.
    
    Doctor, you seem to be burdened with an odious onus there, those
    broad shoulders are sagging just a peench under the weight of something
    purty heavy.
    
    What do ya got for us?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.655           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            655 of 1218
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                     6 lines   9-FEB-1990 15:04
                          -< SURPRISE WITNESS CALLED >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Apparently Doctor Midnight is indisposed, something about a woman
    in the Courthouse parking lot who needs medical attention.
    
    The Prosecution calls Mark Lefebvre.  MARK LEFEBVRE !!
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.656           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            656 of 1218
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    18 lines   9-FEB-1990 15:08
                      -< FIRST QUESTION TO MARK LEFEBVRE >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mr. Lefebvre, doyousweartotellthewholetruthandnothingbutthetruthso
    helpyouGod?
    
    (places fingers together thoughtfully, wise look enhances a_already
    intelligent countenance)
    
    Mr. Lefebvre, earlier Mr. Dan Schneider - the witness not the phony
    judge - testified that he had planned to take you with his second
    ticket.  Now, one would wonder what made Mr. Schneider so certain
    that he'd win in the first place, but the guy's a_egomaniac so we'll
    leave that outta this.  
    
    But he changed his mind and decided to use it to take another guest
    to the game.  Please tell the court the explanation given you by
    Mr. Schneider when he told you that you'd been dealt out of his
    plans.
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.675           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            675 of 1218
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: little guy's Prosecutor"     46 lines   9-FEB-1990 16:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (uproar in courtroom, all eyes look to man running the show, who
    turns to gallery with hands up in the internatinal cautionary 
    "calm down!" sign)
    
    *Please*, ladies and gentlemen!  Let's keep at least a modicum
    of decorum in these august Halls of Justice.
    
    (turns to witness)
    
    Thank you for your testimony Mr. Lefebvre.  Au revoir, et merci
    beaucoup. 
    
    (walks up to Jury, squares body with clenches fists placed firmly
    against hips, arms akimbo as if a_angry eagle ready to fly)
    
    Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been - told by a_impartial and
    very credible disinterested witness of not insignificant intelligence
    and personal and professional credentials - that the unindicted
    co-conspirator and faux judge Dan "Schneid" Schneider had admitted
    privately that ACCrook dictated the use of the ill-fated second ticket.
     
    What does this establish:
    
    1. That the contest was a fraud, for only half the stated prize
    was awarded.
                                           
    2. That ACCrook was running a second, and secret, awards ceremony
    based on private arrangements made among a hidden cabal, that used
    some ritualistic selection criteria held entirely separate from
    those he promised to use.
    
    3. That Mr. Schneider perjured himself.  He did not tell the Whole
    Truth.  Instead he sleazed past the point in a statement designed
    to conceal his complicity in this separate arrangement.
    
    What does this startling testimony strongly imply?
    
    That Mr. Schneider probably was selected as the "winner" of the
    contest based on his willingness to take one Doug Ross to the game
    with him.  Having seen Mr. Ross' shabby performance from two days
    ago, you know this to have been no small sacrifice.
                                                       
    The Prosecution calls Doctor Midnight back to the stand.  DR. MIDNIGHT!!
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.683           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            683 of 1218
ONAN::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecutor" 37 lines   9-FEB-1990 17:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Dan, who never judges anyone
    
    Notice, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, how he didn't punctuate 
    this falsehood with a period?  As if to imply "anyone... *favorably*"
    or "anyone... *fairly*.  It's creep the way Onan Dan has this compulsion 
    about using various grammatical devices in a pyschologically desperate
    effort to keep himself separate from the things he does.  Just like 
    with the queer use of quotation marks around all the bull spouted
    by his Judge Flopner character.  Feeling dirty, Dan?
    
    Well you should.
    
    (turns to Jury again)
    
    Ladies and gentlemen: furtive contacts, changed testimony under
    the meager "it was only a joke!" excuse, fake judge, badgered
    prosecution witnesses, ACCrook's foreknowledge of certain damaging
    testimony yet to come... and now the admission from Onan himself
    that he was forced by ACCrook to take the fallen Doug Ross.  "Coerced,"
    "convinced," who the hell cares.  FORCED.  Fake prize! Fixed results!
               
    Do you see the same pattern emergine that *I* see?  [yes]  Wait'll
    you get a load a next week's witnesses.  BOOM BING BANG BLAM !!
    
    Enough of this, we're tired and it's been a long week for all of
    us.  My apologies for the tortuously slow progress of this trial,
    but you cain see that the otiose and obfuscatory manuveuring of the 
    so-called "defense" is clearly the reason for *that*.
    
    (dangles keys to his Continental)
    
    Say heeey TGIF I say nowww!  Come to papa, I've got a table reserved
    at the Golden Banana so let's blow this square-ass pop stand and
    make for the Land of Upside-Down Taco Salad now let's parteeee YEAH!
    
    (jury emits hearty cheer, follows Mr. Prosecutor and Balliff into
    parking lot, where Dr. Midnight is probably still hard at work)
================================================================================
Note 110.689           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            689 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecutor" 3 lines  12-FEB-1990 10:04
              -< The Prosecution Calls Dr. Midnight to the stand >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dr. Midnight to the stand please.  DOCTOR MIDNIGHT !!
    
    MrT(ireless Prosecutor)
================================================================================
Note 110.691           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            691 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecutor" 9 lines  12-FEB-1990 10:26
                             -< /DON ROCHIBAUD !! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (stire in the courtroom gallery as it becomes apparent that the
    erratic Dr. Midnight is *again* missing his cue)
    
    The Prosecution apologizes to the Court and requests permission
    to call Dr. Midnight later this morning.
    
    /Don Rochibaud to the stand.  /DON ROCHIBAUD !!
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.694           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            694 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecutor" 8 lines  12-FEB-1990 11:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (walks straight up to Mr. Rochibaud)
    
    Mr. Rochibaud, you were involved in some private communications
    yourself in the days leading up to the rigged contest's squalid
    conclusion.  Did you hear anything during that period that drew
    the contest's alleged credibility into question?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.699           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            699 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecuto" 22 lines  12-FEB-1990 12:39
                                -< q-q-quoi ?! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (turns from Mr. Rochibaud to jurORS, quavering as if hit by Buster
    Douglas, upper lip quivering Jim Dutcher-style, eyes gleaming, smashes
    clenched fist on rail)
    
    So what you're SAYING, Mr. Rochibaud, is that Mr. Christopher Knorr,
    a.k.a. ACChris, a.k.a. ACCrisp, a.k.a. ACCyst, a.k.a. ACCrook, is
    the kind of low-life sleaze-bag who would take a forty pound bag
    of good will, dump it in a horse pucky bucket, sprinkle in a 5 pounder
    of pubic hairs taken from AIDS victim cadavers, then hocker in it
    after chugging a quart of Robitussin DM, and then would squat over
    it a peench a nasty loaf of the worst kind of post-Taco partying,
    add a vial of cultured vagrant toe-jam and a a tuft of broken nose 
    hair and then would take a_egg beater and mix it up and throw it in a
    12 megawatt microwave for a good frying, only to pull it out and
    ladle on a yellowed frosting made from the diseased froth scraped from 
    the mouths of dead rabid wharf rats,  and top it all off with a one a
    Sammy Davis Jr.'s lost fake eyeballs and have the scumbag never to
    present it to his victims as... a layer cake ?!
                                        
    Is THAT what you have to say about this hairball of a defendant?
               
    MrT(erribly Indignant at What He Just Heard)
================================================================================
Note 110.700           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            700 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecutor"  1 line  12-FEB-1990 12:42
               -< Mike Childs to the Stand, MIKE CHILDS !!  8^( >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 110.711           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            711 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecuto" 21 lines  12-FEB-1990 14:26
                                -< MIDNIGHT !! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (faces Jury)
    
    Ladies and gentlemen, please disregard .705's "evidence" as nothing
    but another of ACCrook's fantasy.  A fantasized witness interrogated
    by a mythical great coach under the watchful eye of an unreal judge.
    
    'Nuff said.
    
    (facing the press box and gallery)
    
    And let us note that even if the defense is lucky enough to get
    a REAL witness it'll have to wait until after the entire case for
    the Prosecution has been laid out.
    
    Apparently Mr. Childs is indisposed, so lemme call Doctor Midnight
    back up.  Maybe he'll *finally* show up and start singing like the
    high-flying bird we know he cain be.
    
    DOCTOR MIDNIGHT !!
    
    MrT(he Prosecution has all but won)
================================================================================
Note 110.721           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            721 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  28 lines  12-FEB-1990 15:27
                        -< 1st Question for Mr. Childs >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (turns red-faced to the Jury)
    
    *Finally*, a witness shows up!
    
    (turns to witness who indeed wears regrettable Gougetown Horror
    T-shirt)
    
    Mr. Childs, I understand that you attempted to curry ACCrook's
    favorable consideration for your contest entry by offering to send
    him an Carolina sweatshirt.  Isn't it true that, after reviewing
    your self-humiliating entry and hearing the offer, he mailed you the
    following response in a private communication (emphasis added):
    
    	"Wow - talk about groveling!  You shoulda thrown in the part
    	 about your wife ony having 6 months to live and being a diehard
    	 Celtics fan and all
    
    	 Sorry, but my integrity is at stake and, unlike others (who
    	 shall remain nameless) who have demeened sports by unerhanded
    	 backgroom bribery, I shal remain prestine.  (Besides, I've
    	 got tons of UNC sweatshirts already.  WHAT I REALLY NEED IS
    	 A TICKET TO THE ACC TOURNEY.  NOW IF YOU'VE GOT A CONTACT WHO
    	 CAN GET ME ONE OF THOSE, WE CAN PROBABLY TLAK SOME TURKEY!
                       
    Leaving aside the poor spelling ("demeen," "prestine," etc.) what
    was your emotional response to this, and what was your next move?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.732           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            732 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  53 lines  12-FEB-1990 16:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (revulsed gasps from gallery at disgusting revelation from witness
    as to ACCrook's cynical behind-the-scenes manipulations, Mr. Prosecutor
    stamps up to witness stand rail and begins pounding clenched fist
    again and again with jugalar pounding and face, no, entire haid!,
    beet red, eyes glistening again)
    
    ISN'T IT TRUE THAT THIS MADE YOU, ALL OF US FOR GAWD'S SAKE, SICK
    TO YOUR STOMACH WHAT A PUKE THIS GUY IS ISN'T THAT TRUE, TOO!
    
    ISN'T IT TRUE TRUE TRUE TRUE THA... GAWD !!  ACK
    
    (manful sobs, crowd emits barely perceptible sympathetic groan,
    Balliff rushes up to comfort the Proud Prosecutor, who, once composed,
    turns to Mr. Childs again, this time with tears of indignation openly
    streaming down his handsome mug with unabashed pride)
    
    Isn't it true that *he*...
    
    (nods with disgust toward defendant/defense counsel/fantasizer,
    who cringes)
                              
    ... took up with you his concerns about the nature of your entry
    and how it might be difficult to rig as the winning entry should
    you be able to obtain the ACC Tourney tickets, and that your responded,
    and that he quoted and rebuffed your response thusly:
                        
    
    		>all of my replies in 100 have been honest ...
    
    		That's your problem!
                
    		Chris
    
    
    (gasp from courtroom, Mr. Prosecutor, little guy's man that he is,
    once again reels outta control, and shouts as the concerned Balliff
    chases him about)
    
    IF I WERE YOU PEOPLE I'D TAKE REPEATED SHOWERS AS I CONSIDERED THIS
    EVIDENCE CUZ THIS "MAN" IS A DEBIL AND THE CYNICISM AND PIMPERY
    AND INTELLECTUAL SODOMY AND UTTER *FILTH* MIGHT RUB OFF AND THEN
    *YOU'LL* BE IN LINE FOR A_AZT SHOT OMIGAWD TAKE THOSE SHOWERS AND
    USE LAVA I TELLYA RUB AND SCRUB THE SIN AWAY JUST BEING NEAR THIS
    KINDA...
    
    (concerned Ballilff tackles Mr. Prosecutor, whose handsome mug begins
    openly weeping on Balliff's shoulder, many in courtroom now also
    weep from the just-expsosed betrayal, with his tear-stained haid
    looking at Jury from over Balliff's shoulder, he axes)
    
    Isn't it true, that he did these things, that he wrote these things?
    
    MrT(ough but Human Too) 
================================================================================
Note 110.741           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            741 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  33 lines  12-FEB-1990 16:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I apologize to the court for my manly and totally understandable
    emotional outburst.  I explain this with a_analogy of an EPA 
    scientific investigator who discovers a trash dump under a_expensive
    neighborhood and begins digging, only to find a cache of radioactive
    waste... you'd wouldn't criticize that brave investigator/scientist
    for glowing a little, would you?
    
    (turns back to the witness, fully composed now)
    
    Mr. Childs, after admonishing you that your honest replies in 110
    were "your problem!," didn't the defendant Mr. Knorr then send you
    the following private communication from 12-JAN-1990 14:15:47.19,
    wherein he perspired and conpspired over the problem of how to turn 
    your problem honest entry into the winner in exchange for the ACC 
    Tourney tickets:
     
    	This ticket connection sounds promising.  Undoubtedly I'd end
    	up stuck in the Clemsuck section, but hey, any section (other
    	than the Carolina one, of course) will be rooting against us.
    	Let me know, and if it falls through, you can always stick an
    	"honest" entry in 110, if you haven't already.
    
    	- Chris
    
    Isn't it true that he sent you this in an effort to persuade you
    to not only buy first prize in exchange for getting him the Tourney
    tickets but also to put in a false entry so facilitate the rig job
    he was planning to do once guaranteed the tickets?
    
    MrT(errogator)
    	
    
    	
================================================================================
Note 110.748           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            748 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  53 lines  12-FEB-1990 17:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mr. Childs, before you go, one more question that you cain answer
    at your leisure early tomorrow morning:  
    
    So, signed on big-time to the quid pro quo-style deal where you
    get your Celtics tickets and he gets his ACC Tournament tickets,
    he's sending you frequent oily private communications conspiring
    on how to devise a suitably dishonest entry to win the contest
    (a commentary on the very nature of the competition).  
    
    But then there was a hiatus of some ten days, wasn't there?  One
    in which you contacted your Clemson alum brother-in-law, and waited
    for him to make *his* contacts to see if he could obtain the tickets.
    
    Isn't it true that, despite the best efforts of you and your brother-
    in-law, you were unable to get the tickets with which to satisfy
    ACCrook's now detailed bribe demands?  And that when you told him
    of your difficulties in being able to give him his bribe he sent
    you the following TOTALLY UNMITIGATEDLY WITHOUT A DOUBT MOST
    INEXCUSABLY AND DISGUSTINGLY REPULSIVE private communication in
    response on 22-JAN-1990 15:03:34.00:
    
    	                               
    		RE: noe promising
    
    	re: Carolina wins
    
    	:^)
    
    	re: no ACC Tourney Tickets
    
    	:^(
    
    	re: Mike's chances in the Contest
    
    	:^(  :^(     (and fading ....)
    
    	.26 was your better note, producing a whopping 20 points.  .38
        came in at a dismal 12!  Unfortunately, now that I've posted
    	my formula, I'd probably have to answer to a major scandel if
    	you were given 30 "bonus" points and declared the winner,
    	especially when 4 was the max.  BUT I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT A
    	TRY!!!!!
    
    (peering deep into the witness' eyes)
    
    Dontcha love it, Mr. Childs?  A sleazy greasy oily slimy sneaky
    tricky crooked contest operator who's willing to give it the old
    college try.
    
    Please answer whether you indeed received this private communication
    from ACCrook and what your emotional response to it was.
    
    MrT(his case is OVER AND DONE WITH except for the lying)
================================================================================
Note 110.749           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            749 of 1218
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  34 lines  12-FEB-1990 17:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >didn't Wapner get axed???
    
    Yeah, and he answered by axeing us to believe that he has nothing
    at all to do with node HUAXIA, which is sitting in the cube next
    to his.  Hey, Dan's in fantasy land don't disturb him.  He doesn't
    even realize that his supposedly liberal Diane Sawyer used to work
    as a personal aide to his soulmate Tricky Dick Nixon!
    
    (turns to address court at large, smooths custom made suit, looks
    humbly down at the conservative Bass Weejuns shining beneath his
    Ivy cut cuffs)
    
    So, turn a deaf ear to the naysayers among us.  What do we have
    at this point that we know for fact to be beyond argument:
    
    1. Perjured changed testimony    
     
    2. Unindicted co-conspirator unmasked as faux judge
    
    3. Admission that winner was "convinced" to relenquish half his prize
    
    4. Contest operator revealed negotiating tickets-for-ticket trade
                                
    5. Perjurer returns, admits perjury, axes to take stand and recant
                                             
    And the Prosecution ain't even DONE yet!
    
    Where's that nattering nabob of negativism Bob Hunt now?  *There's*
    the beef, Bob.  
    
    Be sure to tune in tomorrow for a surprise witness, one unfettered
    by any possible prejudice.
    
    MrT(he Prosecutor, not *Assistant* Prosecutor)
================================================================================
Note 110.755           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            755 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 79 lines  13-FEB-1990 10:11
                       -< Final Question for Mr. Childs >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (gestures with pointer at exhibit on display at front of courtroom)
    
    And finally, Mr. Childs, isn't the "little favor you were promising"
    that the defendant publicly referred to in note 110.158 the ACC
    Tournament tickets about which the just revealed secret and sordid
    negotiations were held:
    
    
    
    ********************************************************************
    
    
           <<< OURGNG::SYS$SYSDEVICE:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SPORTS.NOTE;1 >>>
                 -< OURGNG::SPORTS - Digital's daily tabloid >-
================================================================================
Note 110.158            Celtics Ticket Giveaway Contest!              158 of 724
RHETT::KNORR "Carolina Blue"                         41 lines  20-JAN-1990 10:54
         -< Picking a winner and beating State today will be *tough*. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Contest Update:
    ---------------
    
    As of today (Saturday, 1/20/90) there are a total of 22 bonafide
    entries.  Here's a current list of who's entered, along with their
    respective note:
    
    .2		HUNT
    .4 		REEVE
    .5		STROUT
    .6		PARTEE
    .7		HAAS
    .8		WAY
    .9		ROBICHAUD
    .12		RIEU
    .15		DHAMEL
    .16		GAULKE
    .19		TIMMONS
    .26,.38*	CHILDS  (You've got 2 entered. Which one do you want
    			 to use?  BTW - I'm still waiting on that
    			 little personal favor you were promising me...)
    .37		CAPPEL  
    .51		BROOKS
    .54		VENU
    .73		ROSS
    .80		SZABO
    .83		ASHE
    .84		GREENE_K
    .90		FINIZIO
    .94		SCHNEIDER
    .98		KING
    
    Entries will be accepted up until 12:00 noon (EST) on Friday 1/26/90.
    My winner will be announced over the course of the afternoon, in
    what I hope will be an emotionally charged and exciting event.
    
    Lastly, best of luck to the Heels this afternoon in Raleigh against
    hated rival NC State.    GO HEELS!
    
    
    - ACC Chris
                           
    *********************************************************************
    
    Before you leave the stand, Mr. Childs, one last thing.  We've worked
    very hard together up here, so why not a little fun.  Fill in your
    'motions and thoughts about the defendant, before and after he
    approached you with his scuzzy tickets-for-ticket scheme:
                
    			Before				After
    
    Chris Knorr	
                                                             
    
    
    
    (turns to Jury and winks, seats self at Prosecution table in dignified
    silence)
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.758           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            758 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"   1 line  13-FEB-1990 10:29
                 -< John Devlin to the Stand.  JOHN DEVLIN !! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 110.761           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            761 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  8 lines  13-FEB-1990 10:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (puts hands on witness stand rail, and axes)
    
    Mr. Devlin.  You've a fine reputation as a_honest upstanding citizen
    of this file.  Tell us, weren't you aware of some sleazy shenanigans
    during the days leading up to ACCrook's false award of first prize
    to Dan's mediocre entry in this allegedly honest contest?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.763           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            763 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook"  6 lines  13-FEB-1990 11:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (raises eyebrow)
    
    Tell the court, if you would Mr. Devlin, exackally what pacific
    information do you have to this effect?
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.821           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            821 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCroo" 129 lines  13-FEB-1990 18:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (emerges from oak-paneled chamber door after a several hour to
    sound of toilet flushing, finishes buckling belt)
    
    Gentlemen!  GENTLEMEN !!
    
    Please, let's keep it civil in here, otay?
    
    Now, let's tally up what's gone down here: ACCrook admits to having
    been involved in protracted negotiations to fix the contest in exchange
    for a_ACC Tournament ticket, which he never got.  He's admitted
    to having written the mails entered here as evidence, but axes the
    Jury to accept his preposterous contention that he was, Doug Ross-style,
    "only joking."                                             
    
    Of *course* he wasn't joking; and of *course* he woulda accepted
    the bribe and fixed the contest for Mr. Childs had he come up with
    the tickets - he said as much in his OWN WORDS.
    
    Now, the nature of the contest was itself seedy, which is no doubt
    the reason ACCrook, once he found Childs payoff wasn't forthcoming,
    fixed the contest for Onan Dan's certifiably poor entry.  
                                                 
    Since that time, his unindicted co-conspirator Onan was revealed
    as a faux judge attempting to rig these fine proceedings in favor
    of their squalid cabal.  Also, we saw ACCrook's *other* unindicted
    co-conspirator Doug Ross deposition that the contest was rigged,
    then change that testimony by doctoring it with smiley faces, then
    come back and admit to his obvious and ineffective perjury.
    
    Further, we have corroborated that sordid behind-the-scenes negotiations 
    led by ACCrook took place by way of indepedent verification from Messrs.  
    Rochibaud, McCarron, and Devlin.
    
    (turns to Jury)                   
    
    We must understand the issues before us here.
    
    The tickets were his to give.  The contest criteria were by definition
    subjective, if highly detailed.  
    
    (twirls, raises accusing finger)
    
    BUT!                            
    
    The defendant, until today cynical about his neighbors, committed
    the worst type of crime by violating our trust.  His self-serving
    duplicity surely reminds us all of Jim Bakker in a baby blue tennis
    sweater.
    
    When Mr. Childs, sensing that the very premise of the contest was
    rotten, responded in kind by offering to buy the victory with a
    sweatshirt... *he* didn't commit any crime, for *he* wasn't in a
    position of public trust.  He simply offered to purchase the tickets
    for a sweatshirt; that the offer required ACCrook to commit a crime
    was, in a certain person's phrase, was "his problem."
    
    Now, ACCrook *was* in a position of public trust, for *he* had
    offered to run a contest fair n' square, even published scoring
    criteria and a full set of procedural rules for the thing!  And
    he took on this trust NOT out of magnamity or altruism, there was
    surely something in it for him and that was seeing his neighbors
    grovel and hearing the idolatrous praise that only a Carolinian
    cain take such sublime pleasure in...
    
    (spins, points accusingly at slumped ACCrook)
    
    ... and HE, he the Mr. High & Mighty!  HOW did he respond to Mike
    Childs' offer to buy first prize?  
     
    ... by upping the ante!
    
    ... by commiting the criminal act of violating the public trust
    invested in him by INITIATING the idea of cheating his public in
    exchange for one lousy basketball ticket!
    
    ... by CONCEIVING of the idea and suggesting it to a man standing
    there before him sweatshirt in hand.  
    
    ... by thumbing his nose cynically at John Q. Public by promising
    that promising to screw and cheat and rig and falsify saying, "I'M
    WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY!!!!!"
    
    ... by following up, once told no payoff was possible, to see if
    the crime could somehow be revived.
    
    ... and, finally, once he'd given up on consumating that crime,
    and given that the idea of a_objectively identified and honestly
    scored contest finish was so *foreign* to his criminal mind...
    
    ... by giving us all a_angry slap in the face and awarding Onan
    Dan's utterly and ridiculouly poor entry first prize, and topping
    it all off by strong arming half the prize away from even this
    false "winner."
    
    (turns from crook and to fine Jury)
    
    He axed, nay, DEMANDED, for a bribe!  He's admitted this in open
    court and cain only make the feeble unbelievable claim that it was
    a joke!
    
    (pounds fist into open hand)   
    
    WHOM do you believe, ladies and gentlemen, the ACC Chris revealed
    to you flitting from one sordid contact to another and admits to
    axeing for bribes, or the one with the nerve to assert it was only a 
    joke?
    
    (drops hands to sides, almost looks vulnerable save for broad shoulders
    and fists clenched in heartfelt rage)
    
    Yeah, it was a *joke* alright.
    
    A vewy vewy SICK joke.
    
    (returns to Prosecution table to emotional applause from Jury and
    gallery, then stands again briefly)
    
    Oh, one last thing: The repeated claims that I attempted to bribe
    Onan Dan Schneider is utter bullsheet.  Consider the source, and
    note the fack that he hasn't entered *any* evidence to prove it.
    
    I'll not apologize for vigorously pursuing evidence, as should be
    evident at this point from the mountain of substantive corroborated
    meaty material piled before you for your convicting pleasure.
    
    (emotion sweeps face, jumps atop table, swings to face crowd)
    
    WHAT THE HELL WE WAITIN' FOR?  WHERE'S THE ROPE, BALLIFF, LET'S
    HANG THESE GEEKS! LET'S STRIN[***session disconnected from MAIL***]
================================================================================
Note 110.828           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            828 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 61 lines  14-FEB-1990 10:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >You've accused *me* for some reason of compromising my integrity..
    
    No Dan, I think he implied that you simply had none at all.
    
    >I received a bribe attempt and made it public...
    
    No evidence has been shown.  It's a false charge about me, whle
    ACCrook has admitted his bribe axeing with the feeble excuse that it 
    was a two week long joke - a sophisticated yuk yuk, so to speak?
    
    (turns to Jury)
    
    Speaking a sophisto yuk yuks, let's review ACCrook's jive-bull case:
    His cynicism about the little guy apparently intact, he NOW nervily
    axes you to believe (hahaha) that (hehehe) he (hohoho) ifMikeChilds
    hadcomeupwiththeticketshewouldaTURNED THEM DOWN (hahahaaa)...
    
    (falls to floor, rolls in paroxyms of laughter, calms self, rises
    brushing custom fit Nino Cerruti down)
              
    And to top it all off, once his attempted scam fell through, the
    crook then demands a trial, apparently to experience the cravenly
    thigh-shuddering pleasure of also axeing you to believe that after
    his ACC Tourney tickets went away he went back to the drawing boards
    and fairly scored the contest, and that the behind the scenes
    negotiations that the Prosecution has established took place to
    fulfill his disinterested idle curiosity about the billets' fate.
     
    (begins laughing again, Jury laughs this time too)
    
    Heh heh, pardon *moi*, mes amis.
    
    Now, similarly ridiculously, we must axe ourselves the question:
    
    "What is Dan's stake in all this?  
    
    He's already been to the game, yet he's in here making preposterous
    claims like his entry any good, like the node HUAXIA sitting next
    to genereated Judge Flopner unbeknownst to him, like he was "convinced"
    not "coerced" to suddenly drop Lefebvre for the vulgararian Ross 
    all of sudden... like *I* bribed or attempted to bribe (that changes
    hourly) him for evidence.
    
    (smiles broadly)
    
    What kind of contest was this?
    
    ... the kind of contest only Dean would like, underutilized talent,
    
    ... the kind of contest only Dean would LOVE, no real winner just two
    good losers,
    
    ... the kind of contest only Doug Ross would understand, and, yes yes
                                                                     
    ... the kind of contest only Dan Schneider would win.
    
    (smirks)
    
    tee hee hee heeeee.
    
    (returns to table, sits)
================================================================================
Note 110.830           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            830 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 47 lines  14-FEB-1990 10:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (turns to Bob "Witch" Hunt in seat .824, pulls lip up in Alonzo
    Mourning-style sneer seen twice before)
    
    That you would equate the two incidents only belabors that you lack  
    proper ethical training and moral fiber, and that you are void of
    either logical capability or intellectual honesty.
    
    (turns, points finger at defendent)
    
    CROOK.  Self-confessed CROOK.  ACCROOK.  Bribe axer, bribe negotiator,
    bribe beggar.  Don King-style scorer.  Secret Negotiator.  Faux
    Judge trial fixer. FRAUD.  CABALIST.  
    
    (to Jury)
    
    All of this has been proven, independently verified, established
    beyond any reasonable doubt.  What're we waiting for.  What the
    HELL delays us from sitting in Moral Judgement of this sleaze scum
    rotten-ass oily eau-de-pukola betrayal of Trust foisted upon our
    innocent participation.  
    
    I axe the question that I know; you answer the answer that *you*
    know:
    
                        Pre-Fraud			Post-Fraud
    		___________________________________________________________
    
    Chris Knorr
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Just fill in the blanks, ladies and gentlemen.  He's admitted his
    crimes, even brought in Dan Schneid as a tacit tawdry confession.
    
    His crimes are known now; let us do our duty, let us answer the
    pleas from him (he axed for this trial and he got it).
    
    It's our duty and it's our time to decide on a punishment...
    
    MrT(he Prosecution Has Won)
================================================================================
Note 110.833           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            833 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 21 lines  14-FEB-1990 11:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (turns to Mr. Devlin)
    
    Oh YES!  Terribly sorry Mr. Devlin but in the fracas started yesterday
    and the co-conspirators got churlish and finally turned on one another
    well... *you* know how I'm transfixed by geeky sideshows and the
    one yesterday with Dan moving slowly away from the now-convicted
    ACCrook saying "I haven't been accused of anything"...
    
    (blushes modestly)
    
    ... well, I was so fascinated them turn on one another like Meese
    on North on McFarlane on Abrams on Poindexter on Reagan that I simply
    forgot you were on the stand.
    
    (leans in with mock conpiratorial tone)
    
    About the prize?  About how it's so emblematic of the fraudulent
    contest with the fraudulent winner and the bribe-orientated [sic]
    operator?
    
    MrT(erribly Sorry 'Bout That :^)
================================================================================
Note 110.835           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            835 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 25 lines  14-FEB-1990 11:54
                      -< Whither the withering ACCrook? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (facing open courtroom doors)_
    
    So that's how it's gonna be, huh ACCrook?
    
    Once you're found out you just up and walk out in a huff?  Gonna
    ignore justice the same way you ignored fair play?
    
    Trampled trust, truncated technicalities, and now you walk out
    from the Trial you axed for.
    
    COME BACK ACCRROOK!!
                                    
    Come back and confess your crimes.  Come back and make a clean breast
    of it.  You ain't Ollie North y'know, for he had several one-way
    media working tirelessly on his behalf.  There's only one two-way
    medium here and we've talked back and demanded a_accounting and
    now you run off.  Ollie had Senator Dan In-No-Way Inquisitive from
    Hawaii skillfully covering up for him; you've had another Dan and
    the more he spouts sputum the guiltier you become.
    
    Come back and atone for your squalid crimes and give us the complete
    confession and the abject apology we deserve as innocent victims
    of your seedy scam.
    
    MrT(o Forgive is to Forget) 
================================================================================
Note 110.844           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            844 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 45 lines  14-FEB-1990 13:08
                    -< Morality Play Over, Lesson Learned >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >So far the only thing you could hope to have proven...
    
    ... is that unless one is willing to believe that you talked for two
    weeks with Childs about the tourney tickets was a joke you were pulling
    off for nobody's benefit cuz it was secret and that IF he'd come
    up with the tickets you woulda turned them down and *still* had
    "honestly" scored Dan's stiff ponderous leaden entry as the "winner."
    
    *Right*.
    
    Add that to the now proved secret negotiations, the "coerced" half
    prize, and the faux judge and stir it up and what you have is...
    
    >HEAVY on the allegations & innuendos and light on FACTS, BTW
    
    ... a case heavy on the facts and light on the allegation and innuendo,
    cuz five people have testified against you and you've admitted to
    the documentary evidence with only a feeble rebutthaid smoke and
    mirrors contention that it was a "joke."
    
    >Of course since I didn't *accept* any bribes I committed no crime...
    
    The only reason being that he couldn't come up with the payment.
    
    You've admitted to engaging in the wholly repugnant acitivity of
    bribe axeing, which substantive proves this case and impugns your
    honesty and integrity.
    
    That you awarded Dan's medicore text 1st prize and then robbed him
    of half of it only underscores your wrongdoing.
    
    Having Bob "Witch" Hunt in here arguing on your behalf is only the
    frosting atop this your regrettable downfall.
    
    I happened to mention as an aside that I had proof that the contest
    was crooked and I've proven it.  
    
    We're done.  You're done.
    
    JD's testimony about the tee-shirt, as sacreligious as it is, only
    reinforces your sick dishonest bizarre persona and makes a set of
    already factually proven charges more understandable in terms of
    dysfuncitonal pathology.
    
    MrT(he Winner!)
================================================================================
Note 110.860           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            860 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 57 lines  14-FEB-1990 14:24
                                     -< ] >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >MrT plays the role of Tailgunner T *so* convincingly.
     
    I benefit in two ways from your use of this term:
    
    1) I came up with the term, to copy me is to compliment me.
    
    2) It's a poor copy, for it to work it must be Talegunner to work,
       as in somebody who uses McCarthyesque tactics to perpetrate 
       malicious mendacious tales.  
    
    >anti-Intellectualism...
    
    What, this from the guy who calls jurors jurists?  Haw haw haw.
    You're right, you're not on trial here.  Your rotten entry was just
    that, but *you* are the unindicted co-conspirator.  The only reason
    you're taking so much flack is that you insist on interjecting yourself
    into these proceedings, thus protracting them and infecting them
    with your penchant for unrepentant fakery.  
    
    At least Bob "Witch" Hunt only twists things some; you've been doing
    it so long now you ARE twisted!
    
    >have studied McCarthy to get so many of the details right
    
    One detail we have right is this: The only person to've engaged
    in McCarthyesque tactics here is you.  First you set yourself up
    as the false judge, and after you are exposed as a fraud you come
    round waving this "evidence" about me offering you a bribe but refusing
    to show it.
    
    Me, I made my charges, called my witnesses, presented the documentary
    evidence, and stated my case, which is overwhelming.
    
    >pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?
    
    Have you NO capacity for truth-telling, ACCrook?  I didn't demand
    a trial and then hang around for three weeks threatening to leave
    if the verdict wasn't to my liking.  A case was thrust upon me,
    I fought like a man (unlike you here), lost, and announced my departure
    and made good on it in one sentence.
    
    Again, I axe you to confess.  You've been cold-busted.  Your only
    possible case is that Dan's unimaginative entry wasn't the absolute
    worst possible; but that pales in comparison to your own words axeing
    and negotiating bribes, arranging Don King-style scorecards.
    
    Confess and be done with it.  Either that or get on with it.  We've
    had daze of delay from all the crap you and Talegunner Dan have
    be spouting in here; we've had you time and again attempting without
    success to strip these proceedings of their dignity much as you
    ripped the contestants of theirs.
    
    Now you two sinbags are getting chippy to boot.
    
    A POX on you and a PAROXYM too !!
    
    MrT(riumphant :^)
================================================================================
Note 110.865           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            865 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollockChrisKnor" 25 lines  14-FEB-1990 14:55
                     -< No Confession?  Ok, Next Witness >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >you're the next noter about to be discredited, so I wouldn't get
    >all antsy to hit the stand.
     
    (The film showing .858 flickers to a stop on the screen at the front
    of the courtroom, the lights come up, MrT turns to face the gallery...  
    sitting in a wheelchair !!  Without a word of explanation, he smooths
    the plaid football blanket covering his legs)
    
    They say the first step is the doozy, they say that fixing a problem
    means recognizing that it's there.  In this replay of .858 we see
    ACC Chris crying out, "I've been discredited!  I AM a crook!  Boo
    hoo hoooo!"  
    
    Yes, but he's still rankling, bitter at being exposed as a fraud.
    So he threatens my witness Dr. Midnight in the same breath that
    cries out to us in a confessional plea for help...
    
    (grabs wheels, left hand pulls back right hand pushes forward to
    neatly spin around to face side door)
    
    Dr. Midnight to the stand.  DOCOTOR MIDNIGHT !!
    
    MrT(errogator)
    
    
================================================================================
Note 110.867           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            867 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollockChrisKnor" 35 lines  14-FEB-1990 15:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
    >What sort of evidence do you want to see?  A copy of the mail message
    
    (enraged at question, spins wheelchair at charges questioner Ayrton
    Senna-style and smashes into his spindly legs, grabs onanist by
    lapels and begins shaking him)
    
    You have nothing on me!  NOTHING.  Wave the paper under the mob's
    nose but you know that publishing the evidence, whole and unedited,
    would only elicit a round of laughter at your expense!  HA.  Fool to
    think that I would make such a mistake!  FOOL to think I ever even
    thought you'd reveal the Truth!  FOOL to not realize that I'd already
    gathered the devastating testimony and dialed you up for the simple
    thigh-shuddering pleasure of hearing you decline to tell the Truth
    in private, just for the wierd sensation that detestable habit of
    yours gives me...
    
    (drops onanist to floor, turns wheelchair around to face Jury)
    
    Please disregard his cretinous crap that we "have no evidence to
    show that ACC Chris considered the bribe."
    
    You have seen the proof, and ACCrook has admitted it was by his
    pen.  He suggested the bribe, sought updates on its progress, 
    expressed concern when it began to slip, even plotted on how difficult
    it'd be to rig the scoring to overcome Mr. Child's honest entry
    to the extent that it could be a fake winner (something he somehow
    managed to do, though unconvincingly, with the McCarthyite onanist's
    half-assed entry).
    
    (spins chair round and round and round)
    
    DR. MIDNIGHT !! DR. MIDNIGHT!!  DR. MIDNIGHT !!
    
================================================================================
Note 110.891           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            891 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollockChrisKnor" 47 lines  15-FEB-1990 10:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (In rolls Prosecutor, apparently tired today so uses wheelchair's
    electric motor, finger manipulating joystick for control, faces
    Jury, the women of which note with approval that the football blanket
    across his strong knees has been replaced with a neatly folded and
    very stylish brushed mauve cashmere)
    
    First we have a faux judge, then a_exposed faux judge, then an
    exposed faux judge using the name of a system manager using the
    discredited faux judge's account...
    
    *Now* we have a_exposed faux judge using the name of a system manager
    using the discredited's faux judge's account to nervily foist Jim
    McFall upon us a replacement unfaux-but-unfair judge.
    
    I move that the unfaux unfair "judge" McFall be defrocked.  He's
    already demonstrated bias and incompetence in this case.  For instance,
    he declares the Prosecution rested even though it's still in the
    middle of interrogating Messrs. Devlin and Brooks, and plans to
    call Chris Knorr.
    
    Moving on to some real bad legal logic, the interloper Dan Schneider,
    who has no truck in this case (he's no longer "serving" as faux
    judge, he's not on the witness stand nor at the defense's table,
    he just a big mouth now faking somebody's name as the exposed faux
    judge who appoints unfair judges), claims that it isn't incumbent upon 
    the defense to prove that a conspiracy didn't occur.  Well, given that 
    the defendant himself has admitted to conpsiring with at least three
    individuals on the contest's outcome, the defense better do sumpin',
    cuz these proceedings are all about what you the Jury decides, not
    what is or isn't someone's responsibility.
         
    (spins wheelchair to face Balliff)
    
    And what of the interloping big mouth's persistent lies that I bribed
    or attempted to bribe him. 
    
    Balliff, it's unbecoming of the Dignity of the court to have a Joe
    McCarthyesque grotesque hanging about loitering.  Do him up.
                          
    (back to Jury)
    
    *And*, we've heard independent corroboration now from a third source
    that ACCrook sought, negotiated, and coordinated the ACC Tourney
    ticket bribe.
    
    MrT(errogator)
    
================================================================================
Note 110.892           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            892 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   23 lines  15-FEB-1990 10:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (seated behind kindergarten table to accomadate position caused
    by his low slunb wheelchair, the Prosecutor cracks to Jury with
    a sly wink)
    
    Say, do you s'pose that the REAL Dean Smif' spells so bad [sic]?
    
    (many in courtroom with titter with amusement)
    
    Hey ACCrookmeister!  I demand that you entire the entire mails,
    not these edited down little vignette jobs you're pushing.  And
    each time I see that overlong tongue of yours slither out from between
    the unfaux-but-unfair "judge" McFalls unmanicured toes I see what
    kind of snake you REALLY are!  
                                                 
    (entire courtroom roars with open laughter)
    
    HEY CRISPY CRITTER !! COMIN' TO GIT YA !!
    
    (courtroom fills with mock siren sounds as Mr. Prosecutor revs his
    wheelchair's electric motor while crossing eyes and thrusting tongue
    imitating the wierd Michael Jordan-style look on Mr. Knorr's face
    makes whenever he French Kisses unfaux-unfair "judge" McFall's gnarled
    tootsies)
================================================================================
Note 110.896           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            896 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   49 lines  15-FEB-1990 11:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >That's purty good English there partner!
    
    (spins wheelchair, faces gallery, winking eye frantically)
    
    Duhhhh, he got it!  WAY TO GO ALBERT BABAAAAY!       
    
    (courtroom explodes in convulsions of laughter, Mr. Prosecutor begins
    spinning wheelchair round and round)
    
    WhooOOOoooooh !!
                  
    (sudden stops spinning wheelchair, addresses Jury with very serious
    look)
    
    It's good for us to relieve the pressure a bit.
    
    But let us not forget what we're dealing with here.  We're dealing
    with an oily sleazy tacky scumball thing here.  Let's buckle down
    and concentrate real hard on what Dr. Midnight and Mr. Devlin have
    to say, and let's pay special attention to keep count of the number
    of lies told when I get the 'Crookmeister up there...
    
    (jabs thumb over shoulder at empty witness stand)
    
    ... on the frying pan.  Hey, for a little levity maybe we should
    have a Jury-only raffle to count the M.U.'s during his testimony!
    
    Nah, maybe not.  I'd *still* like any book report-style input and
    feedback sharing on your 'motional reactions to what's been proved
    in here so far...
    
    (goes to blackboard, straings heroically and lifts thorax from
    wheelchair seat to reach blackboard's height and write)
    
                   	Pre-crime			Post-crime
    
    Mr. Chris Knorr                                               
    
    
    
    
    
    Don't let the naysayers like Talegunner Dan constrain you with 
    unnecessary sophistry.  Let yourselves go.
    
    (wheels chair back behind kindergarten height table)
    
    MrT(errogator)
     
================================================================================
Note 110.899           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            899 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   22 lines  15-FEB-1990 11:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (electric motor buzzing, charges bench)
    
    Nyah shaddap McFall.  I'm tarred of dealing with phonies on the
    bench, you're self-appointed and have only been approved by Onan
    ACCrook and Schneid, the erstwhile purveyor of bad justices when
    he's no in drag as a_oriental beauty...
    
    (crowd laughs, he turns to Jury)
    
    What's going on here is the same brand of pro-criminal "justice"
    meted out at the Contragate hearings: The guys running *that* one
    conspired with the crooks to put on a mock trial in such a way as
    to guarantee a Not Guilty verdict by placing artificial deadlines
    and phony rules interpretations...
    
    (hockers up at "judge" McFall, who dodges, crowd gasps!)
    
    ... C'MON MR. UNFAUX-BUT-UNFAIR !!  Would you beat a poor guy in
    a wheelchair?  Is that what Dan Schneider told you to do when he
    put you up to hanging this frame, huh?
    
    MrT(errorized by fake justices)
================================================================================
Note 110.910           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            910 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   22 lines  15-FEB-1990 14:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (upright and dignified in wheelchair)
    
    My apologies, Your Excellency.  All I axe is a fair shake.  I was
    informed through my network that the co-conspirators had another
    fix set up for today, and figured you were the plant.  Turns out
    the forged Dr. Midnight testimony was it, not you.
    
    The Prosecution requests that the record show that ACCrook was caught
    faking evidence, and that the documentary evidence I've put in has
    been corroborated in one way or another by all authors.
    
    Prosecution: credible; Defense: incredible.  
    
    Prosecution: corroborated; Defense: bitten in the hand by its own
    witnesses.
    
    I'd like to call Mr. John Devlin to the stand to finish his testimony.
    Also, I'd like to get his Scientific Majesty Doctor Midnight up
    on the stand, too.  If Mr. Devlin cain't testify now then please
    swear in the imminent Midnight.
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.916           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            916 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   16 lines  15-FEB-1990 15:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    OBJECTION YOUR HONOR !!
    
    (darts out into middle of chamber, skids to stop)
    
    He introduced documentary evidence that was denounced as a forgery
    by its purported author.
    
    This is a notesfile.  Anybody cain fake any document.  For documents
    to be admissable as evidence the author must corroborate them, as
    Doug Ross, Mike Childs and Chris Knorr did for the documentary evidence
    I've introduced.
    
    One cain dispute how to interpret a_introduced document; but a document
    denounced by its alleged author is NOT admissable!
    
    MrT(echnically proficient lawyer)
================================================================================
Note 110.921           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            921 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"     1 line  15-FEB-1990 16:48
               -< Cold-busted, ACCrook.  Exposed.  Confess.    >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 110.925           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            925 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   31 lines  15-FEB-1990 17:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    OBJECTION, Your Highness!
    
    I DEMAND that these geeks Cease and Desist calling me *assistant*
    DA.  I'm District Prosecuting Attorney for OURGNG County.
    
    They cain either address me as "Mr. Prosecuting Attorney" or "Mr.       
    Prosecutor"  or "DA."  "Sir" would be fine, too.   
    
    I also think the Court deserves, after all the squalor we've had 
    revealed to us thus far, to know what ACCrook could possibly have
    in mind for his "defense."  
    
    What's he gonna do, bark like a dog and beg for mercy?
    
    That's his only out, Your Excellency.  The guy's been caught so
    many times he doesn't have a sliver of credibility left.  Caught
    seeking bribes, negotiating bribes.  Caught fixing scorecards.
    Caught fixing up fake judges.  Caught forging evidence.
    
    Caught caught caught.
    
    Your Honorship, I humbly beg that the court reconsider my opening
    motion that the defendant is totally insane and as such doesn't
    have a rat's ass of a chance if he continues blasting his feet off
    pump shotgun-style with this so-called "defense" of his.
    
    Hey, Your Honoria, I like little black comedy myself.  But *this*
    is getting outta hand!
    
    (spins wheelchair and blasts down center aisle and out oak paneled
    double doors)
================================================================================
Note 110.929           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            929 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardACCrook"   19 lines  16-FEB-1990 09:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >My last note in sports....
    
    I was gonna say "ah shaddap Dan" to this one, but it has the curiously
    mopish ring of a_ACC Chris statement; could it be that the faux
    judge was a set host to HUAXIA from Atlanta, GA, arranged for by
    Schneid?
    
    (turns to judge)
    
    Objection, Your Lordship.
    
    I called the good Dr. Midnight to the stand and the defense wormed
    its way in and began cross-examination and evidence forgery before
    I even got my first question out.
    
    I'd like either the good Doctor or John Devlin sworn in for my
    questioning.
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.931           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            931 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been....."      4 lines  16-FEB-1990 11:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    doyousweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthetruthsohelpyouGod?
    
    (necks crane looking for lazy irresponsbile boozer Balliff after
    seeing Mr. Prosecutor forced to do the swearing in)
================================================================================
Note 110.937           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            937 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been....."      6 lines  16-FEB-1990 11:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (sits up in wheelchair, whirs toward witness stand)
    
    What ACCrook did to you was purty awful.  Tell us about it.  Tell
    us the whole rotten tale, beginning to end.
    
    MrT(hankful for fine individuals like JD & the Good Doctor)
================================================================================
Note 110.946           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            946 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been....."     21 lines  16-FEB-1990 13:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (face beet red, lips trembling, paralyzed legs shaking!)
    
    Y-y-y-your Highness.
    
    I move that our lush Balliff horsewhip the awful ACCrook right here
    and NOW in front of everybody for what he did!  We're getting a
    Constitutional Amendment for flag-burners, and what *this*...
    
    (jabs finger toward the awful defendant, refuses to look toward
    him)
    
    ... RAT... did should be treated no less lightly.  Terrorizing one's
    neighbors through this government's postal service to pull a Godfather
    horse haid in the bed-style trick...
    
    (muffles sob)
    
    ... I-I-I... sorry Your Excellency... I just cain't go on... no
    further questions from Mr. Devlin...
    
    (slouched in wheelchair, spins and darts out with gloomy look)
================================================================================
Note 110.950           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            950 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna has been....."     14 lines  16-FEB-1990 14:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >You can call me a liar if you want, but this is the honest truth.
    
    At this point you wouldn't know the honest truth if it snuk up behind
    you in the form of a rabid Doberman Pinscher and bit you square
    in the ass!
    
    Admit the troof: 49 was the score you had in mind for Mr. Childs
    but then the payoff didn't come through, so you regrouped and took
    Schneid's offer, whatever that was, and assigned him the patently
    false 46, a lower total being necessary cuz it was the worst of
    all entries by a wide margin.
    
    MrT(ruth)
    
================================================================================
Note 110.961           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            961 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Home Boy STUD"   39 lines  19-FEB-1990 11:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I've cross-examined 3 people so far.  3 have been blatantly caught
    >offering bribes (DrM, JD, & Childs).  The fourth (Dan) had a bribe
    >offered to *him* by the Ass't DA!
     
    OBJECTION, Your Worship !!
    
    I herby DEMAND that he Cease and Desist referring to me as assistant;
    I'm *the* DA.  Period.   Finito.
    
    Second, that JD vascillated on his feelings towards the Star Heels
    is not relevant here, and in no way constitutes Perjury.  Certainly
    it's a given with the rigged contest that all praise entered was
    to be false praise, and that once it was over people could go back
    to speaking the Truth without fear of retribution.
            
    Third, these persistent claims of bribes are false and misleading:
    Mr. Childs simply offered to buy the tickets for the price of a
    sweatshirt; it was up to Mr. Knorr to either cancel the contest
    or violate the law by forging the scores.  Note that Mr. Knorr spoke
    openly about the logistics of faking the scores, and that Mr. Childs
    maintained silence on that.
    
    No evidence has been entered to show that JD offered a bribe.
    
    Documentary evidence was entered to show that DrM offered a bribe,
    but its author repudiated it as a Knorr forgery.
    
    No evidence has been entered to show that I offered Dan Schneider
    a bribe.   The only action we've seen the defense take on this alleged
    bribe offer of mine is for Tale Gunner Dan to keep babbling on about
    it and waving sheafs of paper beneath the Jury's collective nose
    without actually revealing it, and for good reason; if he revealed
    it, the whole thing, he'd only look like Tale Gunner Joe after the
    end of the HUAC hearings.
    
    (spins wheelchair around, calls to door)
    
    Dr. Midnight to the stand.  The Good Doctor MIDNIGHT !!
    
================================================================================
Note 110.962           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            962 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Home Boy STUD"    2 lines  19-FEB-1990 13:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dr. Midnight, doyousolemlysweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothing
    butthetruthsohelpyouGod?
================================================================================
Note 110.968           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            968 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Home Boy STUD"   21 lines  19-FEB-1990 14:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dr. Midnight, I apologize for the defense having so rudely 
    interrupted your testimony last week.  
    
    (inches wheelchair closer to the doctor)
    
    Now, when that trash...
    
    (nods toward ACC Chris)
    
    ... got in touch with you about maybe you too giving a bribe, what
    happened?  If you have any documentary evidence, please enter it.
    But tell the whole story truthfully from begin to end.
    
    Did you write the quoted texts attributed to you by this trash,
    or is that mess yet another in this his most mendacious mess of
    all?
                  
    Tell it, Baby Doc.  From its crooked beginning to its perverted
    end.
    
    MrT(errogator)
================================================================================
Note 110.974           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            974 of 1218
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!" 34 lines  19-FEB-1990 16:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Objection to the term "trash", Judge McFail.
    
    My apologies.  Hey Judge, you gonna let him address you so
    sarcastically?
    
    >I mean, the guy started the trial standing, and now all of a sudden
    >he needs a chair?!  What'd he get paralyzed in the middle of the
    >trial and not even need a hospital stay??!
    
    Many of us went into this wretched contest of yours standing tall,
    only to end up stooped under the weight of its quintessential
    dishonesty.
    
    No, I'm not paralyzed.  My legs are, though.  Got up the other morning
    to come in here and take the kind of abuse and deal with the kind of
    sleaze involved and I collapsed in the shower.
    
    You're a paralegal; I'm now a paraplegic.
    
    Tragic, now ain't it?  You axe whether I'm shooting for Jury sympathy,
    well, whaddya want me to do, relinquish the wheelchair and flop
    around on the floor like a shot duck?
    
    (drops from chair to floor, flaps arms like wounded bird's wings,
    honks very loudly like goose several times, struggles back into
    chair, turns, picks up legs in arms and redeposits on stirrups)
    
    Well, I won't have it.  I'll do what I have to do and use the tools
    I have to use.
    
    (wheels around, looks at His Excellency Judge McFall)
    
    Apparently Dr. Midnight is not forthcoming.  I concede the floor
    to cross-examination until he appears.
================================================================================
Note 110.980           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            980 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   23 lines  20-FEB-1990 10:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (while absentmindedly polishing chrome wheelchair arm)
    
    Your Highness, I object to ACCrook's line of defense.  We're not
    here to determine whether or not certain individuals offered to
    buy the Celtic tickets.  That's irrelevant.  What we're here to
    determine is whether the perpetrator...
    
    (thrusts walking cane Mr. Knorr's way)
    
    ... solicited bribes, negotiated bribes, plotted fake results, and
    committed fraud by posting those faked results and robbing his
    unidicted co-conspirator of half his prize.                             
    
    Everything else is irrelevant.
    
    We've already proven that he's done all these things by way of evidence
    the perpretrator recognizes as factual.  He's introduced not a shred
    of evidence, and indeed uses as his only defense that he was "kidding."
    
    The defense rests, for a moment at least...
    
    (haid falls onto embroidered pillow strapped to wheelchair and nods off)
                                                                           
================================================================================
Note 110.988           THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM            988 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   29 lines  20-FEB-1990 13:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (darts in wheelchair from behind table)
    
    OBJECTION your honor !!
    
    No WAY cain we admit "evidence" such as Hendry's speculative statement
    that the contest was honestly run.  Also, these men did NOT offer
    "bribes."  They simply offered to buy the tickets.  It only became
    bribery on ACCrook's side of the table when he conspired to accept
    the tourney tickets from the honorable Mike Childs!
                                                       
    ACCrook has admitted to the evidence that shows him first requesting
    the bribe and then arranging its transfer by rigging the contest.
    
    (spins wheelchair around to face Jury)
     
    The only way the Jury cain accept Hendry's speculative statement
    of what he "knows" is to accept ACCrook's literally unbelievable
    argument that he was only "kidding" with his two weeks of in-depth
    communications with Childs, while also accepting the ridiculous
    explanations of how Dan was "convinced" to relinquish half his ill-
    gotten prize.  
    
    We haven't even gotten to the inconsistencies in how the scoring
    was handled, an especially critical matter in light of the FACK
    that ACCrook has admitted to "kidding" in writing about how to rig
    the scores to collect a bribe.
    
    (darts chairs back behind low-slung prosecution table.) 
================================================================================
Note 110.1004          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1004 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   54 lines  20-FEB-1990 15:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >the entire case by the prosecution has been NOTHING, repeat, 
    >NOTHING, but HEARSAY, CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE, and OPINION.
    
    (with Sysiphian patience, buzzes wheelchair to front of bench)
    
    What a crock, Your Worship.
    
    ACCrook has conceded, right here in these chambers, that he indeed
    made the furtive contacts with his cabal, by admitting to having
    authored substantive documentary evidence to that effect now in the 
    court's record.
    
    ACCrook has conceded, right here in these chambers, that he indeed
    involved himself in negotiating for a bribe from Mike Childs, even
    discussed how to rig the scoring so he could collect, by admitting
    to having authored substantive documentary evidence to that effect
    now in the court's record.
    
    ACCrook axed for this trial, and he's getting it.
    
    He also axes that we take his word that he was only "concerned"
    about what happened to the second ticket once awarded; and that
    he was only "kidding" over a two week period of private sleazoid
    conversations with the honorable Mike Childs.
    
    He, in effect, axes us to judge his motives and not the substantive
    evidence written in ACCrook's OWN hand, and conceded by him.
    
    As for Hendry, he cain express his opinion from the stand all he
    likes; all *I* axe is that the Jury be instructed that his speculation
    that he "knows" be taken under advisement.  Was Mr. Hendry involved
    on a day-to-day basis with the protracted bribe-axeing negotiations
    with Mr. Childs?  Does he have any evidence to prove his claimed
    "knowledge?"
             
    Mr. Hendry makes unsubstantiated claims from the stand: He has now
    way of knowing whether or not his claimed knowledge is whole.
    
    No.  All he has is what ACCrook chose to expose him to.  Of *course*
    the shifty Crooked Chris Knorr chose to keep *that* between himself
    and the good Childs on the off chance that he'd actually get the
    tickets!
    
    I call on you, Your Honoraria, to steer this trial clear of
    unsubstantiated and badly tinged opinion and into the field that
    the Prosecution has restricted itself to: substantial corroborated
    first-hand direct EVIDENCE.
                                                                   
    All the defense has is the technical defense that he never was actually
    able to obtain a bribe, and that he was only "concerned" and "kidding."
                                                 
    Incredible.  Fantastic.  
    
    (neatly spins wheelchair on dime, buzzes back to defense table)
================================================================================
Note 110.1022          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1022 of 1218
SALMON::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD" 154 lines  20-FEB-1990 19:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Motives are impossible to prove.  The fact that I
>was joking around with Mike Childs and DrM can be neither proven nor
>disproven.  

The only evidence DrM supplied was to denounce your quotations of him
as a forgery.  All written evidence entered by me has been corroborated
by YOU.   And you'll have trouble convincing these fine persons...
    
(twists thorax in wheelchair seat, spins haid to face Jurors)
  
... that you were joking with Mike over some 2-3 weeks.           

>What I want (read DEMAND) is that my actions be judged by the RESULTS.  
>These *can* be proven.  They're documented FACT.  And here they are:
>
>1. I held a contest and posted the rules, the reward being 2 press passes
>   I won from Steve Nazzaro.
>
>2. I judged the Contest and picked my winner.
>
>3. I asked the winner if he'd consider taking the 2nd place finisher,
>   which he agreed to do.
>
>These are FACTS.  Everything else you have against me is sheer speculation.
>And untrue speculation at that.


True, all three of these are indeed "facts."  Trouble is, they're irrelevant
to the three criminal charges you're on trial for.  Also, this list of "facts"
is highly selective; whether you "asked" or "intimidated" poor Schneid into   
accepting half a prize is open to interpretation based on trust.
    
        
Let the Prosecution flesh things out a bit with this collage of established 
substantive meaty documentary evidence that you yourself admit to be true:

(lights dim, film clip starts running on white screen at front of room)
    

Besides, I've got tons of UNC sweatshirts
already.  What I really need is a ticket to the ACC tourney.  Now if     
you've got a contact who can get me one of those, we can probably talk   
some turkey!								 
 
 - Chris

	

I knew something was fishy long before Friday... I thought I had
a good shot at the title and sent some mail to Knorr.  He responded
with a "So who would you take if you won?" query... I told him the
truth which probably started the backroom dealing.  I was prodded
with questions like "Do you know /Don?"  or "Do you a have a kid
who would be heartbroken if you didn't win?".  Shameless.  I'm
lucky I got one ticket out of the deal.

=dr



Subj:	RE: question

> all of my replies in 110 have been honest ...       
						      
That's your problem!				      


- Chris



This ticket connection sounds promising.  Undoubtedly I'd end up stuck
in the Clemsuck section, but hey, any section (other than the Carolina
one, of course) will be rooting against us.  Let me know, and if it
falls through, you can always stick an "honest" entry in 110, if you
haven't already.

- Chris




Subj:	RE: noe promising

re: Carolina wins

:^)


re: no ACC Tourney Tickets

:^(


re: Mike's chances in the Contest

:^( :^(   (and fading ....)


.26 was your better note, producing a whopping 20 points.  .38 came in
at a dismal 12!  Unfortunately, now that I've posted my formula, I'd
probably have to answer to a major scandel if you were miraculously
given 30 "bonus" points and declared the winner, especially when 4 
was the max.  BUT I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY!!!!!


- Chris


Don't fall for that T-propaganda Frank.  I feel bad cause your entry was
real solid.  It coulda won.  Maybe it shoulda won.  If I could do it over 
it WOULDA won!  

Just like the citizens of the USA went after Ollie.  Yea, they went after
him all right.  AND MADE HIM A HERO!!!!!


I struck a deal with the
top 2 finishes in The Contest so they both could attend??  


I will be exonerated.  And if not, I'll leave.  Humbly.  (Sniff.)
With no fanfare.  (Sniff,sniff.)  

- Chris



If you wouldn't mind forwarding them, I'd appreciate it.  You could make
the difference in this trial - my achilles heel.  Hopefully the jury
will be asleep when you take the stand!

- Chris


Friend Mike, how are ya?  Remember a few weeks ago when you and I were
talking about ACC tourney tickets and I made that joke about you getting
me some?  (Ha ha!)  Now of course you and I both know we were joking,
but I'm a little bit concerned that the SPORTS community might not get it.

So, could you just put my mind at ease a bit and reinforce the fact (as I
understand it) that our little communication was all in the spirit of a
(HAHAHAHAHA!!!) funny little comical interchange?

Thanks,

- Chris
********************************************************************************

(film flickers off, lights come up)

Squalid.  Established fack.  Reality.  Ain't kiddin'.

(darts out side door towards Continental)
================================================================================
Note 110.1029          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1029 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   20 lines  21-FEB-1990 10:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Not a forge.  Just a summary.
    
    OBJECTION Your Worshipfulness!
    
    The so-called defense is now putting words in the mouf of the
    defendant.  I DEMAND that this latest Crooked Chris Knorr fantasy
    session be stricken from the record, or if not that that the beautiful
    people...
    
    (spins wheelchair around, blows kiss to Jurors)
    
    ... of the fine Jury be instructed to take this as hard evidence of 
    just afield of Reality he's drifted; and also that he misrepresented
    Mr. Rochibaud's testimony by leaving out the part where Mr. Rochibaud
    flatly stated that he doubted whether it was possible that Mr. Childs
    and the defendant are co-lying about the evidence, or that the
    defendant was kidding!
    
    (determined and very technical look on visage, blasts wheelchair
    back behind Prosecution table)
================================================================================
Note 110.1035          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1035 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   20 lines  21-FEB-1990 12:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (buzzes up to Mr. Rochibaud in wheelchair)
    
    Mr. Rochibaud, such a beautiful Gallic nom de plumb!, ain't it true
    that you were aware that...
    
    (intentionally breaks wind beneath blanket covering paralyzed limbs)
                               
    ... was involved in his stinky dealings with the good Mike Childs?
    
    Please explain, step-by-step, how you heard that...
    
    (another, but louder)
    
    ... these furtive sordid negotiations were progressing, whom you
    got the information from, how, and so on.
    
    Also, could you please re-state your beliefs as they were
    misrepresented by Crooked Chris' jive-bull so-called "summation."
                                                        
    (sits erect in wheelchair awaiting answer)
================================================================================
Note 110.1038          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1038 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"    6 lines  21-FEB-1990 12:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (adroitly spins wheelchair around to return to DA's table, paralyzed
    leg flops from beneath warmer and hangs at wierd angle dragging
    on floor alongise wheel)
    
    No further questions to axe, Your Most Excellent Highness-Worship
    sir.
================================================================================
Note 110.1056          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1056 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   19 lines  21-FEB-1990 15:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Thanky, Your Most Abundantly Wise Solomonic Visionary, sir.
    
    (points at wheelchair, frowns at the very Crooked Chris Knorr)
    
    How DARE you question a challenged individual's right to overcome
    barriers by using a wheelchair?!   What kind of heel is it who'd
    openly discriminate against the handicapped?!
    
    (eyes glisten)
    
    Your Honoraria, sir, I'm not on trial here.  As ACC Chris himself
    said, before he went crook, "MrT did not forge a single word" or
    somesuch.  
    
    He's hallucinating again.  Cain we make him wear sunglasses in here,
    please?  When his eyeballs spin round and round like that it's 
    disconcerting to the Jury and we legal professionals...   666
    
    (humbly backs wheelchair behind DA table)
================================================================================
Note 110.1059          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1059 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   60 lines  21-FEB-1990 15:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(rolls out to center of courtroom)
    
Judge McWorship, it appears that the very Crooked Chris Knorr has conceded
that he involved himself in secret bribe and fix negotiations, and that
his line of defense is to prove that the contest's scoring was bulletproof.
    
I'd like to save us all the bother of continuing with this fair trial
that...
    
(breaks wind with impudent and quirky smile on face)
                            
... demanded, by proving that summary judgement cain be made speedily and
readily that the so-called "winning" entry was in clear violations of
the published contest rules:
    
(lights dim, murmur as gallery anticipates still MORE devestating hard
meaty substantive corroborative independently verifiable direct evidence)   
    
>So what I'm asking is this.  Reply to this note with your most eloquent
>pro-Carolina sentiment.  

No sentiment of any kind was submitted in Schneid's "winning" entry.

>Since JR was the primary reason for the ticket,
>points will be given to singing his praises, though it's not necessary.

No praises were sung for JR in his "winning" entry.

>Given recent events, pro-Dean comments may be given extra weight.
>Be creative!  Songs, ballads, even poems are all welcome.  

It goes without saying that Schneid's "winning" entry was totally uncreative;
and that no comments on Dean, pro or con, were given.  

(spins wheelchair to face gallery, raises voice)

In FACK, the "winning" entry contained only a leaden resume of pandering; it
was in clear violation of the states rules requiring sentiments and praise
and comments.  It contained NONE of those. It was only a parnderer's resume,
albeit a powerful one, that recited what the entrant had said and done in the
past.

The stated rules clearly establish that the entries would be evaluated without
consideration to past history; Schneider's entry was ONLY past history!

So how could the thing even be *accepted*, much less scored as the winner?!

I submit that, upon comparing the "winning" entry to the stated rules, it is
abundantly clear that Schneid was judged the winner based only on being a
member in good standing of the Crooked Chris Knorr's Cabal; that in fack for
that reason Onan Dan's "winning" entry was in clear and irrefutable violation
of the rules!

(whirls wheelchair to face Judge)

Your Honorship, I call upon you to advise the Jury as to whether or not the
so-called winning entry violated the stated contest rules as you interpret
them.  

(zaps back behind table, leg still hanging out, dragging alongside)
================================================================================
Note 110.1066          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1066 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   59 lines  21-FEB-1990 16:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (face reddening)
    
    Your Excllency, *please* !!
    
    Direct the so-called defense attorney to refrain from bogging this
    extremely fair (and well judged, I might add ;^) trial in irrelancy.
    
    To twit:
    
    (buzzes to blackboard, tragically paralyzed limb *still* dragging)
    
    1. Rules said prior Carolina sentiment not a factor.
    2. Entire defense thus far is to question entrants on prior Carolina
       sentiments.
    3. Obfuscates by attempting to put DA on trial.
    4. Hasn't entered and established one iota of substantive evidence
       in his defense, despite having called several witnesses, two
       of whom have rebuffed him from the stand.                
    5. Persists in bringing up that tickets were his to give and criteria
       were subjective despite FACK that the Prosecution conceded that
       prima facie in opening remarks.
    
    Your Unbelievably Honorable Excellency, sir...
    
    (raises pointer and SLAMS it to floor for emphasis)
    
    ... HE demanded this trial!
    
    ... HE got caught red-handed!
    
    ... HE admitted to the meaty documentary evidence!
    
    ... HE stalled the proceedings by installing a faux judge!
    
    ... HE persists in pursuing the irrelevant tack that the losers
        aren't Star Heel fans when his own rules state that to be
        irrelevant!
        
    I call on you, Your Fantastic Worship, to force the pathetic defense
    to either finally get to substantive interrogation or to rest its
    already daid case.
    
    The pre-contest Carolina sentiments of the entrants is by definition
    irrelevant to the charges.  So are the facks that the tickets were
    his property and the criteria were to be subjectively judged.
    
    He's on trial for violating the public trust, for Wire Fraud, Cabalism
    and Indecent Extrapolation.  
    
    He demanded this trial and he's losing it based on a total inability
    to rebut the evidence.  
    
    I move that HE demonstrate that this line of questioning is relevant.
                                                   
    Let's get on with this; my paralyzed legs cause me great pain and
    this droning unrelated dottering is killing me as a paraplegic citizen
    with full rights as a_American.
    
    (peels out in wheelchair to scattered applause)
================================================================================
Note 110.1070          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1070 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"     1 line  21-FEB-1990 16:44
            -< Don't forget I intend to call Crooked Chris Knorr! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 110.1080          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1080 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   37 lines  22-FEB-1990 10:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (whirs out to witness stand in wheelchair, pulls bottle of Wild
    Turkey from beneath woolen warmer covering paralyzed limbs)
    
    If I may, Your Almighty Honorship, the excruciating pain...
    
    (gulp)
    
    ... ahhhhhh, I have a 'scrip for this quart of Turk from my Doc
    to releive the nerve pain I'm tragically stricken with.
    
    On the finer points of law at issue here, Your Unimpugnable Worship,
    sir, we've never really formalized these proceedings which, after
    all fer cryin' out loud, are taking place in a so-called computer
    bulletin board.  For instance, no roster of Jurors, or Jurists [sic]
    to use the faux judge's mistaken lingo, empaneled to decide this
    case.
    
    I move we issue a list for a common understanding.  Further, it's
    already established that the Crooked Chris Knorr is pretty handy
    with instigating bribe negotiations over mail, which means that
    we should, must!, as a matter of honorable duty operate under the
    assumption here that his feral criminal psyche is still chugging
    ahaid at full steam issuing payment offers to Jurists [sic].
    
    For that reason, I move that after private deliberation they step
    forward through a Captain of the Jury with a verdict, one based
    on majority vote.
    
    I also move that "abstainers" simply be dropped from the proceedings
    altogether, given the volitional nature of this fine trial.
    
    Finally, Your Awesomeness, I'd like to cross-examine the fallen
    Doug Ross before Mr. Knorr's pretend defense attorney starts eliciting
    lies from the defendant.
    
    (takes one last swig of painkilling agent direct from bottle, dashes
    heavily chromed wheelchair back to DA table)
================================================================================
Note 110.1081          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1081 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"    7 lines  22-FEB-1990 10:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (Balliff, who now for some unexplained reason is *also* wielding
    a quart of Wild Turkey nerve painkiller rises and calls out)
    
    Doug Ross to the stand please!  DOUG ROSS !!
    
    Doug Ross, doyousweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthe
    truthsohelpyouGod?
================================================================================
Note 110.1082          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1082 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   16 lines  22-FEB-1990 10:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Head of jury == Foreman
    
    Now isn't that a little too proletarian for these...
    
    (nods to fine Jurors)
    
    ... fine gentlemen?  These are the 90s fer chrissakes!  Have a little
    class for once in your life, Crook!
    
    (faces Judge McInfallible)
    
    Your Honorarium, sir, I move that whomever's selected to haid up
    this laudable Jury be designated Capatain, hell, Generallisimo is
    fine with me!
    
    (burp) 
================================================================================
Note 110.1089          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1089 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   33 lines  22-FEB-1990 11:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (rolls up to witness stand, paralyzed limb flops out again,
    embarrassed, tucks it back under warmer)
    
    Mr. Ross, isn't it fair to say that... ahhh... when you testified
    during the initial stages of this fine trial you... ummmm... were
    under quite a bit of pressure, that you were just a tad addled?
    
    Now, going back over your deposition one more time, wherein you
    described the sordid events as the unfolded like a poisonous flower
    in a rotten stinking steamy jungle of subterfuge, you said that
    the thing could be read differently if a passel of smiley faces...
    
    (points to blackboard with dozens of :^) tacked on it as articles
    of evidence)                                                      
    
    ... were inserted, which you showed by inserting these smiley faces
    attached to the blackboard here.  
    
    Now, forget the hypothetical, the what if questions, just lay it
    out - especially now that you're no longer under duress - and answer
    just three questions with the full untainted honesty the world expects
    from a Purdue engineer:
    
    1.  Were the contents of your initial depostion true to their word,
    	(i.e., not a joke)?
    
    2.  Did ACCrook prevail upon certain select contestants to agree
    	to having the stated first prize halved?
    
    3.  Didn't the faux Judge Wapner reveal his true identity to you
    	personally, who is he?
    
    (sits in wheelchair, sipping, waiting)
================================================================================
Note 110.1091          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1091 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!"   15 lines  22-FEB-1990 12:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (shakes haid in affirmation)
    
    Yes yes, "the contents were true."  Thanks so much for clearing
    that up and confirming that ACCrook indeed communicated to you
    that he was holding private communications with other parties
    to arrange that first prize be halved behind the scenes unbeknownst
    to other contestants.
    
    (buzzes wheelchair over to Judge McFail)
    
    Your Leadership, is the pretend defense attorney finished with his
    pretend interrogation of the pretensious defendant?  If so I'd like
    to begin my final cross-examination asap.
    
    (gulp)
================================================================================
Note 110.1097          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1097 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Stop Roger Penske, JMB, Bernie.." 22 lines  22-FEB-1990 15:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (rolls wheelchair to stand, peers up at ACCrook like a_innocent
    child gaping at a crap-stained orangutang at a petting zoo, keeping
    at a distance both for safety, stench avoidance, and cooties)
    
    Mr. Knorr, by your own pen - stain-prone though it may be - you
    stated "... what I'm asking is this.  Reply to this note with...
    pro-Carolina sentiment... points will be given for singing (JR's)
    praises... pro-Dean comments... Songs, ballads, even poems... P-names
    and Titles will be considered part of your effort... I'll... disregard
    any previous anti-Carolina note(s) someone may have entered... but
    if sarcasm or insincerity is detected you'll be immediately
    disqualified!
    
    (quits reading from exhibit, removes reading glasses, sips from
    nerve painkiller decanter, sets medicine down into newly installed
    leather bottle carrier strapped to side of chromium wheelchair)
    
    Mr. Knorr, cain you point out to me where in the winning entry any
    sentiments, praises, comments, songs, ballads, or poetry appears?
    
    (sits fingering medicine holstered medicine bottle, waiting for
    reply) 
================================================================================
Note 110.1099          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1099 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Stop Roger Penske, JMB, Bernie.." 10 lines  22-FEB-1990 15:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (anger rising)
    
    You *Honor* !!
    
    Please direct the defendant to answer the question !!
    
    Please enter, in verbatim quotation, from the "winning" entry by Dan
    Schneider, any pro-Carolina sentiments, praises, or pro-Dean comments.
    
    (smug look)  
================================================================================
Note 110.1103          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1103 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Stop Roger Penske, JMB, Bernie.." 18 lines  22-FEB-1990 16:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (spins 'round to face iceMAN)
    
    Groaner ol' buddy, it hurts to see you jump in here criticizing
    poor MrT...  This trial has been exemplary, apart from the monkey
    business and assorted high jinks of ACCrook and his fake judges
    and testimony...
    
    (offers iceMAN a sip of nerve pain medicine)
    
    ... take a seat, Mr. Gronowski.  We're about to convict a perpetrator
    of wire fraud, cablism, and indecent extrapolation.  He's pretty
    much lost the case and then made a half-assed and very sneaky
    confession.  
    
    Take a chair and enjoy why dontcha!
    
    (buzzes back over to uncooperative witness to continue awaiting
    answer to valid question)
================================================================================
Note 110.1104          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1104 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Stop Roger Penske, JMB, Bernie.." 15 lines  22-FEB-1990 16:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >The defendant is directed to answer the question, to his best
    >recollection..
    
    OBJECTION Your Holy Worshipfulness !!
    
    He cain extract the basenote and cull out the requested items, there's
    no reason to rely on memory in this matter; no room for the Nixonesque-
    Poindexteresque-Abramsesque-OllieNorthesque-Meessesque "to the best
    of my recollection" jive-bull...
    
    We have hard evidence readily available, let us put it to good use.     
    
    (whirls wheelchair around, as he buzzes past seated iceMAN he murmurs)
    
    ... didn't I vote for you in NoTY this year?
================================================================================
Note 110.1108          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1108 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justice"  44 lines  23-FEB-1990 09:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(rolls over to wheelchair, flips cover from blackboard to reveal 
quoted texts)

"No other respondent will honestly root more passionately... I made 
UNC's own Micheal Jordan the first pick in the draft... it was I who 
began the legendary Dean Smith/Bobby Knight debates... I continued the 
debate... I applied intellectual honesty... I have defended James Worthy 
... I always really liked Sam Perkins..."

Mr. Knorr, I've taken the liberty of condensing the "winning" entry
down to its essentials.  

Isn't it true that the "winner" didn't actually provide a single pro-Carolina
sentiment, JR praise, or pro-Dean comment anywhere in his "winning" entry;
but instead merely submitted a resume of past actions and one promised future
action should he win?

Isn't it true that this entry was invalid according to your rules and
therefore should've been disqualified?

Isn't it true that the ever-arrogant Schneid felt it wasn't even necessary
to bother with expressing sentiments and singing praises and making pro-Dean
comments cuz he was assured of winning the contest prior to it even starting?

Isn't it true that you ignored your own rules in order to have a good laugh
at the Little Guy's expense by elicitng false praise, a Star Heel delicacy,
from dozens of poor schlubs who didn't even have a chance from the get-go? 
    
Isn't it true that you violated your promise that "I'll... disregard any
previous...notes" by in fack choosing a winner that not only FAILED to meet
the minium contest entry requirements but also was nothing BUT an overview
of previous notes?

Isn't it true that this proves that your contest was a total fraud?
                                                                        
Again, I axe you: Quote verbatime on sentiment, praise or comment in
Schneid's so-called "winning" entry.  Quote just one.  References to the
past were clearly excluded by you and your rules; if you were gonna simply
pick your clone with regard to Star Heel pandering credentials then no
entries would've been necessary, isn't this TRUE Crooked Chris Knorr?!
        
I DEMAND that you directly ANSWER all of these fair-minded questions NOW !!
    
(bangs fist on wheelchair arm for emphasis)
================================================================================
Note 110.1109          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1109 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justice"  13 lines  23-FEB-1990 09:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (spins chair around, heads over to Judge McAwesomeness)
    
    Your Fabulousness, sir, once I'm done with the defendant I'd like
    to arrange for Doctor Midnight to enter his evidence.  Due to his
    hectic schedule as a medicine man...
    
    (takes dose of nerve painkiller medicine)
    
    ... couldn't we just have him enter it at one o'clock Eastern, after
    all, he's already sworn in.
    
    Also, could the court identify the location code found on the threat
    mail received by poor Mr. Gronowski? 
================================================================================
Note 110.1115          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1115 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justice" 186 lines  23-FEB-1990 12:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> Isn't it true that the "winner" didn't actually provide a single pro-Carolina
>> sentiment, JR praise, or pro-Dean comment anywhere in his "winning" entry;
>> but instead merely submitted a resume of past actions and one promised future
>> action should he win?

 >   Call it whatever you want.  It was a subjective contest and I could
 >   judge the entries anyway I wanted.  I kinda looked at Dan's "resume"
 >   approach as a somewhat unique tactic.  Put another way, the stuff he
 >   said was TRUE, which met my "clone" requirements better than anybody
 >   else.  (By a **long** ways ...)
  
DON'T EVADE THE QUESTION I AXED !! 

(wheelchair tire blows)

The direct question put to you was to identify one single sentiment, 
praise or comment in the "winning" entry as specified by you as being
necessary.

Either do so or explain how it wasn't necessary that the "winner" provide
such where all other entrants did.
  
>> Isn't it true that this entry was invalid according to your rules and
>> therefore should've been disqualified?

  >  No.  The 48-line rule was a suggestion, not a requirement.  I believe
  >  your own entry exceeded 48 lines by quite a ways as well, and I didn't
  >  disqualify it.  (No matter how much blasphemy it contained.)
   
(rolls over to Judge McWonderfulness, agitated)

Your *Honor*, pu-leeze !!

He's evading the question, the RAT.  As I've already explained, his line of
defense is based on a two-pronged thrust, prong-thrust #1 being that he was 
having a very private and detailed two week joke with Mr. Childs, who under-
stood the bribe negotiations to've been quite serious, and prong-thrust #2
being that he could "prove" that the scoring was indeed defensible.

Well, I'd like him to focus on prong-thrust #2 and address how a patently 
unqualified entry could possibly be the "winner."  

Nowhere is it implied that the entry in question didn't meet the qualifications
cuz it babbled on for several screens; the implication is that the contest
explcitly states that eloquent pro-Carolina sentiments, JR Reid praises, and
pro-Dean comments be provided either in the form of narrative, song, ballad,
poem, titles, or personal_names.

Nowhere did the "winner" provide any of these in his "winning" entry.

I've axed the defendant repeatedly now to either help me find the missing 
compliance or to explain how a totally non-compliant entry could win.
 
>> Isn't it true that the ever-arrogant Schneid felt it wasn't even necessary
>> to bother with expressing sentiments and singing praises and making pro-Dean
>> comments cuz he was assured of winning the contest prior to it even starting?

 >   ABSOLUTELY NOT.  This is a bald-faced lie which you have NO RIGHT to
 >   express.  Where's the proof of this????  There is none, cause it didn't
 >   happen this way.  I didn't even know myself until the afternoon of
 >   Jan-26 who the winner was gonna be.
  
Or so you say.  But at this point you've admitted to lying several times in
managing this contest, so why should...

(nods to Jury)

... the wonderful beautiful people of the Jury trust your word on this?

"Where's the proof," you axe?...

(raises pointer back to blackboard plastered with the "winning" text)

... the proof is in the fack that not one comment, praise, or sentiment is
provided in the entry that "won."
  
>   It's true that I was trying to maximize the enjoyment of the OURGNG
>   reader. 

(darts over to stand, screaming red-faced)

ISN'T THE TRUTH THAT YOU WERE MAXIMIZING THE ONANISTIC PLEASURE OF HAVING
A SERIES OF CIGAR-CHOMPING BACK-ROOM THIGH-SHUDDERING ORGASMS OF CYNICAL
PLEASURE AT THE OURGNG READER BY THUMBING YOUR NOSE AT YOUR OWN RULES IN A
DEVIOUS SICK PLOT TO ENSHIRINE YOUR OLD BUDDY AND HAVE A PARADE OF UNWITTING
SUCKERS TO BOOT ?!?!?!?!

>    Frank alleged that I'd acted improperly in considering the
>    bribes from Mike Childs & BabyDoc... True, I did joke around with Mike 
>    & 00:00, never thinking it'd come back to haunt me. 

(stomps foot in anger)

No evidence has been submitted establishing that the good Doctor Midnight
offered any payment.  Moreover...

(calms self, rolls over to Judge McFabulous)

... Your McGreatness, sir, it's wrong for him to refer to my witness, a
*doctor* for goodness sakes!, derisively as "00:00." 

>    (Ask yourselves how many times you've joked with fellow noters, in here
>    and off-line.  Would *YOU* want it held against you?  Should we bring
>    John Hendry up on charges cause of his humorous Bill Curley prank? 
>    [no])
	    
(spins round, axes Jury sarcastically)

Yes, axe yourself his stupid question: How many times have you suggested to
your neighbor that you could "talk turkey" if he could obtain for you an 
almost impossible to get ticket, and then "joked" around with him, badgered
him, for over two weeks, even going so far as to begin instructing your
unwitting co-joker on how to help rig the score by creating a fraud-friendly 
revised entry, and then when it started to look like the tickets weren't coming 
checked back with him one last time before ruling a totally unqualified entry
as the "winner" and then denied everything when the unwitting co-joker says
under oath that he wasn't "kidding?"

How many times, dear Jurors?  

Think about it.

>> Isn't it true that you violated your promise that "I'll... disregard any
>> previous...notes" by in fack choosing a winner that not only FAILED to meet
>> the minium contest entry requirements but also was nothing BUT an overview
>> of previous notes?

 >   Technically you are correct.  I confess that I found it impossible to
 >   disregard what I knew to be true anti-UNC sentiment among the
 >   contestants.  

No, SUBSTANTIVELY I'm correct that you violated your promise to base the contest
on entries not on one's standing in your cabal.  This is no technicality, cuz
if you'd announced that you intended to give the tickets to your best UNC toady
then Schneid woulda simply entered his humorless panderer's resume, nobody else
woulda bothered to enter, and poof!, a two note "contest" without the "maximized
pleasure" you admit you aimed for.

>    I just couldn't bring myself to letting a non-Carolina
>    fan win.  I set myself up for this by essentially having 2 contests. 
>    One was for a UNC clone, the other was for the best entry.  I believe I
>    rewarded both, but there was only one Contest Winner.
 
(stomps foot again!, to rhythm of words)

LIES! LIES! LIES! LIES!

(quits foot stomping)

The poor Little Guys who were suckered into entering your fraudulent fixed
contest are the ones who got "set up!"

Isn't it true that the "UNC clone" you mentioned in your rules was to be
defined by each person's entry disregarding, as you yourself stated, previous
anti-UNC notes?

If not, how do you explain givng me, MrT, second place in the remote category?
How do you explain giving the fallen Doug Ross, who's peenched many a rotten
loaf at Dean Smith's expense, second place and what your now describe as an
"objective first place" in the New England category?

How?

And isn't it true that you're now odiously obfuscating by lying with your 
perjury about how it turned into two contests, the best entry and the best
clone?

Isn't it true that you must be perjuring yourself cuz the fallen Ross' "best
entry" was in the same parrallel contest as "the best clone?"

How do you explain this, Crooked Chris Knorr?  
   
>> Isn't it true that this proves that your contest was a total fraud?
    
 >   That's not for me to say.  

Oh yes it IS!  It's your duty to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing
but the truth so help you God and not the Jury's.  

Tell it.  

Judge McBeautiful, please instruct him to directly quote and answer each of
the questions I just axed?  He cain identify them by the question marks,
after all...

(takes dose of painkiller, tragic paralyzed veteran that he is :^( )
================================================================================
Note 110.1118          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1118 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justice"  22 lines  23-FEB-1990 13:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Mr. Prosecutor, it's not your job to tell DADS how to make his 
    >defense. The answer by the defendant will stnad on its merits.
     
    B-b-but Judge McEminence, your Highness, sir...
    
    (bows haid in deep respeck)
    
    ... the question in question was posed to the defendant, not the
    defense attorney.  The confusion here is an example of why I moved
    that Chris Knorr be ruled totally insane and not entitled to stand
    in self-defense.
    
    My point here is this: The evidence strongly implies that he ignored
    his own stated contest rules.  I axed him - as a *defendant* and
    not a defense attorney - to justify the "winning" entry's apparent
    non-compliance.
    
    I request that you instruct him to at least attempt answering the
    question as axed, *then* let it stand on its own merits.
    
    (light applause throughout courtoom)
    
================================================================================
Note 110.1122          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1122 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justic" 69 lines  23-FEB-1990 14:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>    First, ADA-T seems to be of the opinion that the *only* acceptable
>    contest entry be a song, ballad, poem, p-name, or title.  This is
>    utterly false.  Here's the exact text of relevant contest rules:
>    
>	"Be creative!  Songs, ballads, even poems are all welcome.  Try to keep>
>	them within a couple of screens at most (48 lines).  P-names and Titles
>	will be considered as part of your effort."
>
>    Notice that is says "Songs, ballads, even poems are all welcome."
>    						    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>    Obviously I didn't require that the entry to be a song, ballad, or
>    poem.  That was just a SUGGESTION.  
>
>    ... 2nd place winner... peom, winner a resume.  

(rolls toward Judge, lurching due to flat tire)

Your Honor, he keeps misquoting me.  It's been noted that narratives were also
welcome, but the mode of the entry isn't the issue here.  The issue is the
non-compliant absence of any pro-Carolina sentiment, JR Ried praise, or pro-Dean
comment.

>All three were perfectly acceptable and within the rules.  
>
>The only possible rule violation... was the 48-line limit.

(lurches over to witness stand)

Quit lying, you dog.  The resume was NOT within the rules cuz, unlike every
other entry, it totally lacked any of the three content forms you explicitly
stated you were looking for.  And the 48-line limit was NOT, as you fallaciously
imply, the only rule in the contest.  There were several rules, and for the
last time the 48-line limit is not at issue here.

Reconcile the "winning" entry with your content rule which IS at issue here.  

Why do you avoid this question?  Skeert?

>    Now for my observation.  I noticed ADA-T has been "stomping his foot in
>    anger".  Not bad for a paralyzed District Attorney, huh judge?  
>    
>    I submit to you that this wheelchair thing has been a shameless stunt 
>    (you saw his foot stomp, the evidence is obvious) which is in horrendous 
>    taste and demeaning to the handicapped.  I *DEMAND* it be removed from the
>    courtroom AT ONCE.
 
(eyes glisten with tears)

W-w-why, I oughta rub your face into the marble into our war memorial's 
54,000 marble-inscribed dead war hero names...

(muffles sob, administers more medicine)

... m-my GAWD, what kind of heel *are* you, to belittle a man's heroism as
a "shameless stunt?"

My foot stomps are an uncontrolled nervous reaction, which is one of the reasons
I'm forced to take this damned medicine I hate so much...

(openly weeps as if stabbed in back by shameless defendant, then composes self) 

Your McHonorium, sir, would Your Highness pu-leeze instruct the shifty defendant
to identify anywhwere in the "winning" entry any pro-Carolina sentiment, JR 
praise, or pro-Dean commentary - regardless of form.
    
Your Worship, have him either answer the damned question or admit to the Jury
that there is none.   He's stalled and slowed this trial long enough...
    
(sits, listing from flat tire, sipping, waiting, vet that he is)       
================================================================================
Note 110.1124          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1124 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justic" 40 lines  23-FEB-1990 14:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Judge McVisionary, sir...
    
    Perhaps we should just set a deadline with him to either answer
    or face a_instruction to the Jury from you that he has refused to
    answer certain questions and what that refusal means in terms of
    reaching a verdict.  
    
    Here are the major questions he's refused to answer:
    
    1. Identify pro-Carolina sentiment, JR praise, or pro-Dean commentary
       in "winning" entry, if any.
    
    2. How cain his claim of two parallel contests be true ("best clone"
       and "best entry") when the "best clone" and "best entry" identified
       by him were scored in the same category (New England)?
    
    3. Isn't it true that he committed to judge objectively and not
       consider past Star Heel entries, but to judge "the best clone"
       based on each entry's contents according to his explicit 
       requirements (see 1 above)?
                                                               
    4. Isn't it true that the contest was a total fraud from the beginning,
       and that he intended to give the eventual "winner" the tickets
       all along?
    
    5. Isn't this why the "winner" didn't even bother filing a real entry,
       cuz he understood the deal to be he'd get the tickets cause he has
       the best background as a UNC toady, and wining it was only a matter
       of doucmenting that?
    
    6. Isn't it true that, when it was realized how unacceptable the
       "winner's" entry was in comparison to some of the compliant entries,
       the contest operator went into a series of behind-the-scenes
       negotations wherein he forced the pre-determined "winner" to
       relinquish half the prize, thus adding a second layer of public
       fraud?
    
    (removes reading glasses, looks up to Judge)
    
    Cain I ever get these questions answered, directly?  
================================================================================
Note 110.1126          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1126 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justic" 14 lines  23-FEB-1990 15:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I'll enter my closing remarks forthwith, Your McHero sir.
    
    One thing, though, with all due respeck and fawning certainly
    operational from *this* hero's chair of private torment and 
    sacrifice:  
    
    The question he rufuses to answer isn't *whether* the "wining"
    entry complied with the rules, but *how*.
    
    We're forced to accept his apparently taking the Fifth on this;
    you cain lead a horse to the water, but you cain't make him tell
    the Truth.
    
    (wheels from chambers to begin typing closing remarks)
================================================================================
Note 110.1130          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1130 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "ACCrook: cold-busted by Justi" 126 lines  23-FEB-1990 16:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(lurches chair over to Jury, parks facing the august panel)

You're being axed to judge ACC Chris based on the evidence and testimony
submitted during this trial, and to decide whether he committed the crimes
of Wire Fraud, Cabalism, and Indecent Extrapolation in managing his contest.

Based on what's been laid out before you I believe returning verdicts of
Guilty on all three counts will be automatic, for the prosecution's case
is in fack overwhelming.  The only gray areas left are those created by
the defendant's appeals that you trust his word in the face of all evidence
and testimony and that you accept his halfassed-confession-as-cover story.

I call upon your consciences to reject his undeserved appeals.  Let us 
review the case:

- Documumentary evidence corroborated by the defendant himself establishes
  that he held, over a period of some two weeks, furtive negotiations with
  a contestant to rig the contest in exchange for a ticket to the money-
  grubbing and totally meaningless ACC Tourney.  He axes you to accept his
  story that he was only "kidding."  The contestant, Mike Childs, testified
  that the sordid deal was very real.

- Documentary evidence corroborated by the defendant himself establishes
  that he held furtive negotiations to cut first prize in half.  He axes
  you to believe his story that he was "set up" to without announcement
  create a second, parallel contest known only to the participants of these
  admitted secret negotiations.

- The defendant attempted to enter documentary evidence on his admitted
  secret conversations with Dr. Midnight on a bribe and the doctor refuted
  the entered documents as forged.  The defendant axes you to accept his
  word that he was only "kidding" with the godd doctor as with Mr. Childs.

- It has been shown that the "winning" entry is in clear violation of the
  contest's minimum requirements.  When axed how this is so, the defendant
  has steadfastly refused to answer.

  If he had a_explanation for the "winning" entry's obvious non-compliance
  he woulda given it.  He didn't cuz there is none.  So it's left to you    
  to interpret the reality gap in that central matter.  Also interpret 
  his silence on the crux of his defense and his false claim to having
  answered to it.  Look in the court's record for his answer, there is   
  none - he only answered questions I never axed.
      
- It has been shown that the contest rules clearly stated that the entries
  would be judged based on their content's capacity for creating a "UNC
  clone" by meeting the 3-part minimum content requirments, and the 
  defendant has confessed on the stand that he abrogated that by seeking
  a clone based on the likelihood of the clone denouncing the Star Heels
  after having used the tickets.

- It's been proven that this contention is false, for two of the winners,
  me and Doug Ross, are established Star Heel nasty-loaf-peenchers - which
  means other unnamed secret selection criteria were used.

(leans back, looks up to cieling)

So.  There is a preponderance of direct corroborated evidence, including 
a partial confession by the defendant, that shows him secretly negotiating 
down first prize, secretly negotiating bribes in exchange for first prize,
secretly creating a contest-within-the-contest, and secretly using secret
winner selection criteria.

The defense's only explanation is that he was forced into doing these things
by emotional needs.  

Is the half-confession a cover story?  

Well, consider first that he admits to guilt to two of the three charges: 
He admits to having run a fruadulent contest over the wires and he admits to
having used a separate, secret, scoring sheet.  

The only thing he doesn't admit to is that the admittedly indecent extrapolation
of scores was based on cabalism or on what he's painted to have been his claimed
"objective" secret and fraudulent criteria.

So you must convict him of Wire Fraud and Indecent Extrapolation by accepting
his own admissions.

On the third charge, Cabalism, I axe you to consider that it's hard to believe
that he was only "kidding" with Mike Childs given that Childs testified that
it was no joke, and that this little "joke" went on for over two weeks.  Also
consider that he's admitted to arranging for cutting first prize in two without
public announcement or any explanation, other than he was "set up" to do this
by runaway emotional trauma.

Finally, take a look at the "winning" entry and look for any "pro-Carolina
sentiment" or "JR praise" or "pro-Dean comments."  There are none.  

Then look in the rules and read where the defendant set forth that his desired
"UNC clone" would be selected strictly based on his/her entry in his pledge to
disregard prior Carolina notes.  

Compare the pledge with the "winning" entry, which is nothing BUT a list of
prior Carolina notes, and which is in plain violation of the contest content
rules.

(raises voice, which trembles with moral indignation)

Then think about how the "winning" unindicted co-conspirator's role with the
faux Judge Wapner, which slowed this trial, and axe yourself to what extent
cain ye forgive his confessed crimes, and to WHAT EXTENT CAIN YE BELIEVE HIS
INCREDIBLE UNSUBSTANTIATED COVER STORIES.

The man ran a cabal, and entertained his cabal at the expense of the Little
Guy, Joe Sportsnoter.  He got caught red-handed, and has admitted to two of 
the three crimes he's charged with.

You needn't feel bad about convicting him; for he's already convicted himself
and he axed for this trial in the first place.  

By handing down three verdicts of guilty you'll be only rubber stamping the
truth as established in here in the form of corroborated evidence and testimony,
you'll only be noting Joe Sportsnoter's indignation at having been used and
abused and led on with this obviously fraudulent and malfeasant "contest."

It's not a matter of malice of forethought; it's a simple matter of malicious
misdeeds.

(sips one last dose of medicinal painkiller, slumps in listing wheelchair,
stoic veteran that he is, utters almost imperceptibly)

... Your McWorship, the defense rests.

(chair flops over to floor, handicapped vet falls out onto floor with thud
from weight of dashed hopes and unrequited heroism)
================================================================================
Note 110.1141          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1141 of 1218
34866::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    8 lines  27-FEB-1990 12:59
                                   -< WRONG >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >... the rules mention only that past ANTI-Carolina statements 
    >will be disregarded.  Markedly absent is a similar vow against
    >consideration of past PRO-Carolina statements.
    
    Not true.  That vow is explictly made in his published rules (i.e.,
    no "past PRO-Carolina statements" category).
    
    MrT  
================================================================================
Note 110.1142          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1142 of 1218
34866::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   45 lines  27-FEB-1990 13:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (appears in wheelchair, legs covered now with an American flag,
    Old Glory, dons reading glasses, begins reading from legal pad)
                                                           
    
    First, Crooked Chris claims he's ain't that cuz the tickets were 
    his  property to do with as he pleased.  Yes and no.  Yes they 
    were his; no that doesn't mean he cain sucker the little guy, Joe 
    Sportsnoter, into making hopeless fools of themselves.   
    
    These men were *hopeful* fools, and Crooked Chris cheated them.
    He wasn't on trial for theft, he was on trial for abusing the public
    trust.
    
    Second, he claims no crime was commmitted cuz it wasn't proved that
    he took a bribe - only that he tried to or, if you believe his
    cockamamie story, *joked* about trying to.
    
    Well, he's admitted to having run a second, secret, contest and having 
    secretly halved first prize, and he steadfastly refused to answer to the
    apparent total non-compliance of the "winning" entry. 
    
    Third, he begs our understanding cuz he was "emotionally set up"
    and had to have a clone attend the game.  How cain we believe this,
    given that he openly stated that entrants' clone status would be
    judged based on contest entries only, and that one of the two tickets
    went to a_avowed Star Heel loaf peencher.
    
    Fourth, he insists that we must believe he was only joking with
    his bribe negotiations.  Again, how cain we have faith in a man
    who's confessed to rigging a contest and halving the prize all the
    while putting on a front of legitmacy.
    
    Finally, he and his unindicted co-conspirator have repeatedly made
    the false claim that I attempted to bribe Schneider to provide false
    testimony and/or evidence.  Yet no evidence has been submitted to
    prove this.  By now it's apparent why no proof has been forthcoming.
    
    (lowers reading glasses, eyes glistening, administers dose of tragic
    vet hero nerve painkiller medicine which drips down chin and onto
    Old Glory draped across lap)
    
    ... repeat after me:
    
    I Pledge Allegiance, to the Flag, and to the Nation for which It
    stands...
================================================================================
Note 110.1145          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1145 of 1218
34866::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   35 lines  27-FEB-1990 14:18
                   -< .1143, bone-made... or just bonehaid? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Once again our esteemed MrT has managed to convince himself that
    >up is down, left is right, white is black, and that good is bad.
    >
    >Go back and re-read Soup's *original* rules...
    >
    >Bob Hunt
    
    Sooner or later fires flag, lights dim, skulls thicken... and stooped
    creatures rise from their crouch to come hurl bones as poor MrT.
    
    For some reason some are convinced that the entirity of Crooked
    Chris Knorr's overwrought and windbagged rules are all wrapped up
    in that one sentence.
    
    It's numbskulled to insist that his point scoring system is not
    part of the rules - it is the CORE of the rules.  One cain work
    obverse sophistry about what wasn't in one particular sentence,
    but the simple truthful point remains that the scoring system that
    he pledged to use contained no category for "past PRO-Carolina
    statements" which is tantamount to a promise to base the scoring
    of entries based on, yes, the entries.
    
    Adding weight to this obvious fack are many other things.  For
    instance, why did he react to each entry with a brief review of
    it instead of the entrant's past with him and his overrated Star
    Heels?  Or, how many people understood the contest to be a matter
    of past Star Heel toadyism and not entries?  Or, why did he say
    "be creative" if he intended to judge based on past statements,
    weren't they already created?
    
    No, stooped creatures rise wieling the rib torn from Adam's flesh
    to hammer the incredible dictum that when the truth is obvious it
    therefore cain not be true.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 110.1148          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1148 of 1218
34866::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   37 lines  27-FEB-1990 14:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >One case Jack Daniels
    .
    .
    .
    >One case Jim Beam
     
    (sitting just outside Jury Room, vet hero raises quart bottle which
    has white tape over label and "nerve painkiller medicine" handwritten
    on it in drymarker)
    
    Here mister Foreman, sir, Your Beautifulness, take this, a sacrafice
    for me, sure I'll suffer pain but anything to help you poor folk
    clear your haids to see jive-bull, the faux "jokes," the halfassed
    confession-as-cover story...
    
    (Jury Foreman takes bottle from vet hero, re-enters Jury Room)
    
    ... you're welcome, Sir !!
    
    (turns to press in attendance)
    
    Y'know, I ain't one to complain, as you certainly already know,
    but it was purty crummy the way the latter part of this trial was
    handled...
    
    (pulls like bottle from beneath Old Glory)
    
    ... I mean, I finally get ol' Crooked Chris up on the stand and
    all of a sudden we're hit with this Senator Dan In-No-Way Inquisive-
    style artificial time limit cuz the defendant whined for it, and
    *then* he refuses to answer the key question, and only answers
    questions I never axed, and *then* the trial's OVER.
    
    Cheat-ass is what *that* was, yet another case of the system working
    to serve the perpetrator at the expense of the victim...
    
    (administers tragic medicine, wipes mouth)
================================================================================
Note 110.1150          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1150 of 1218
34866::SHAUGHNESSY "vet hero.. nerve pain ..integrity" 1 line  27-FEB-1990 14:43
             -< (lip quiver, glisteny eyes, moany sobs, sniffles) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 110.1159          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1159 of 1218
34875::SHAUGHNESSY "vet hero.. nerve pain ..integri" 53 lines  28-FEB-1990 08:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (inexplicably, haid has been shaved to billiard ball sheen, except
    for portion covered by Ike cap, raises riding whip to blackboard
    set up in marble hallway outside Jury Room)
    
    >have you any proof (or reason to think, for that matter) that I
    >haven't been honest?
     
    Why yes we do:
    
    1. Your entry has been proven to be totally non-compliant with the
       rules for entries.
    
    2. You "won" anyway.
    
    3. You admit to having been involved in a series of furtive contacts
       with the dishonest contest operator, and cain only axe that we
       accept your word that you were "convinced" and not coerced into
       relinquishing half of first prize in order to maintain your
       ill-gotten hold on it.               
    
    4. You either sat in as the faux Judge Flopner, or facilitated Crooked
       Chris Knorr in that role by allowing him set host access to node
       HUAXIA.
    
    5. You've been caught, several times before, in other notes, depositing
       disinformation - a regrettable compulsion of yours that unfortunately
       makes your cockamamie story about how Crooked Chris made these
       furtive contacts strictly out of "concern" over the tickets ultimate
       fate.
    
    (snaps fingers at woman in hiked up dress who looks like she just
    stepped out of Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" video)
    
    Miss Givings, massage please.
    
    (she switches over behind him, doffs Ike cap, begins massaging shaved
    scalp as he speaks)
    
    And ENOUGH of this talk about who was the best Star Heel toady!
    
    Of *course* that was Tale Gunner Dan !!  But that's not at issue
    here; what's at issue is whether Crooked Chris followed his own
    stated rules and worked to select the best *temporal* "clone" based
    on each entry's pro-Carolina sentiment, JR praise songs and pro-Dean 
    commentary.  Clearly Tale Gunner Dan's "winning" entry was void
    of any such content, which only impugns all these incredible stories
    about "joking" protracted bribe negotiations, "convincing" 11th
    hour furtive contacts, and all the rest.
     
    Attention to the facks, men !!  Ooof, the *pain* !!
    
    (vet hero grimaces, Miss Givings immediately drops kneading hands
    to shoulders as he reluctantly administers still more medicine)
================================================================================
Note 110.1161          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1161 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "vet hero/nerve pain/integrity"  64 lines  28-FEB-1990 12:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (waves model/spokesperson away from haid)
    
    Let's talk Tragedy here.                 
    
    Let's talk Crooked Chris Knorr.
    
    A_honest kid and all 'round nice guy gone to maggotry.  I know what
    you're thinking, true he's now confessed to running a rigged contest,
    and true too true even his confession was badly stained with half-truth
    and insincerity.
    
    But what we need to focus on at this point is what happened to turn
    such a nice fellow into such a tricky rotten heel.
    
    (raises medicine bottle and points towards fellow noter also in
    attendance outside Jury Room)
    
    Let's talk Dan Schneider.  First, what a major *coincidence* that
    he was caught in the middle of SPORTS' greatest scandal, eh?  And
    oh how *surprising* that he benefited directly from some well-intended
    sap taking the fall.  And what a *shock* that he should be in here
    getting chippy with *US*, Joe McVictim...
    
    (winces from stabbing nerve pain)
    
    ... for having the nerve to demand Truth & Justice after he's used
    up and discarded poor Crooked Chris.
    
    We've proved the conspiracy, we've put the lie to the mandacious
    contest.  But have we identified the real heel in this?
    
    No.  I think not.
    
    I think poor confessed ACCrook is as much victim as perpetrator
    in this.  I think our unindicted co-conspirator neighbor here...
    
    (gestures with bottle towards Dan Schneider)
    
    ... would be proved the mastermind, if only we could get the goods
    on him.  
    
    (slips hand beneath Old Glory and begins jerking fist up and down
    in mock tire-pumping motion, scrunches up face)
    
    OoooOOOoooOOohhh how I'd love to find out what ol' Tale Gunner said
    to poor Crooked Chris to bait him into fudging the results.  Whatever
    it was, first he set the bad example for poor ACCrook, then he wooed
    him into a sordid transaction, then he led him by the nose into
    a doomed defense that ended in a_abject confessional.
    
    I say that poor Crooked Chris has suffered enough.  He's been found
    out, forced to confess, and now rates our Christian and American
    forgiveness.  
    
    I say let's bring poor Crook back into the fold !!
    
    (shrugs shoulders innocently)
    
    Who knows?  Maybe after he was fully deprogrammed and through with
    his treatment he could tell us what went down so's we could...
    
    (motions Tale Gunner Dan's way again) 
             
    ... could indicited this unindicted co-conspirator fella here.
================================================================================
Note 110.1164          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1164 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "vet hero/nerve pain/integrity"  31 lines  28-FEB-1990 13:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    That adage certainly applies nice in this case, Clayboner.
    
    Putting a_extension on it, remember the Biblical phrase from Ghost
    Busters about the world gone mad to the point of "cats sleeping
    with dogs?"
    
    Well, the tragedy being sorted out in there...
    
    (jabs thumb over shoulder towards Jury Room's oak paneled doors)
    
    ... might be summed up by thinking of poor fallen ACC Chris as a
    cute lil' kitten who fell asleep next to a big ugly sloppy incorrigible
    bull mastiff who rolled over and smothered it, and then figured
    "what the hell" and consumed it so long as it was already ruined.
    
    Sad.  So sad.
    
    And then the dog goes 'round barking and snarling and snapping about
    how *I* bribed him.  All bark and no bite, eh?  Haw haw haw....
    
    re: .1162
    
    Remember my old phraseology to describe rhetorical cowardice, "barking
    like a duck?"  
    
    (spins wheelchair to face Tale Gunner Dan)
    
    Hey Tale babes, whip off those shoes and let's check to see if you
    got skin webbing those toes a yours!  Ha ha haaa !!
    
    (dignified laughter, discrete medicinal dosage)
================================================================================
Note 110.1169          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1169 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnigh" 10 lines  28-FEB-1990 14:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey Bob Hunt.  I see you showed your UpsideDownTacoSalad aspect
    by caving in to my factual rebuttal of your emotive-but-mistaken
    "up is down" hate mail.
    
    Kudos, matey, I liken such a retreat to the time the gay-boy
    Michael Spinks' eyes glazed over with fear and he took off running
    that fateful night two winters back.  I tip my hate to your discretion
    and emerging sense of Reality...
    
    (tips Ike cap from shaved haid)
================================================================================
Note 110.1176          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1176 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnigh" 38 lines  28-FEB-1990 15:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (stretches thorax up from chair to handwrite words onto blackboard,
    back of shining bald haid bobs with writing motions before press
    and others in attendance)
    
    >>our unindicted co-conspirator neighbory...  would be proved the 
    >>mastermind, if only we could get the goods on him.
      
    >Tailgunner T ADMITS that he has NEVER had a shred of evidence that
    >the contest winner was anything but legitimate.
                             
    See what I mean?  The man is pathological.  I say it's too bad that
    we don't have proof enough to nail the unindicted co-conspirator,
    and the unindicted co-conspirator twists my words via intential
    misquote to mean that I said it's too bad that we didn't have proof
    enough to nail the defendant on trial, Crooked Chris Knorr.
    
    Read my lips, Talegunner Dan...
    
    (Miss Givings reaches down with both hands, graps Prosecutor's lips
    to form words)
    
    ... t-h-a-t  t-h-e  "-w-i-n-n-e-r-"  w-a-s  i-l-l-e-g-i-t-i-m-a-t-e
    w-a-s  c-o-n-f-e-s-s-e-d  b-y  C-r-o-o-k-e-d  C-h-r-i-s  a-n-d
    p-r-o-v-e-d  b-y  d-e-m-o-n-s-t-r-a-t-i-n-g  t-h-e  "-w-i-n-n-i-n-g-"
    e-n-t-r-y-'-s  t-o-t-a-l  n-o-n-c-o-m-p-l-i-a-n-c-e  t-o  t-h-e
    r-u-l-e-s ...
    
    (she releases lips, vet hero rubs at them and winces)
    
    Get it, Tale?  Simple as that, and a TON more than a shred.  Bushel
    basket would be more like it.
    
    (points at him with medicine bottle)
    
    Why not take a load off your chest, Tale.  Just what *was* said
    during those furtive negotiations just before the contest's denouement?
                                             
    How much?
================================================================================
Note 110.1182          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1182 of 1218
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnight"  11 lines   1-MAR-1990 11:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: last 3
    
    File your complaints with Crooked Chris, he axed for this Trial.
    Don't come 'round bitching to us technicians.  Talk to Judge McFall,
    it was *his* decision to defer the decision for a week.
    
    >Battle of the Titanic Egos
    
    I suffered total ego loss due to a_OD of widowpane at a_Ashram in
    Conifer Colorado years ago.  No ego.  That's how I came to such
    a capacity for pure objectivity.
================================================================================
Note 110.1199          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1199 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasPollardNorthKnorr"    15 lines   5-MAR-1990 09:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Judge McFall, WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL kinda instructions did you or
    did you NOT give the jurors?!  
    
    (breaks medicine bottle on chair arm and brandishes)
    
    They were to decide whether or not he did the things he was accused
    of doing.  They seem to've returned a Guilty verdict on all three
    counts.  It's not up to them to apply a_insanity defense already
    declined by the "defense."  
    
    Judge McFall, it's up to you to disallow this reprehensible abrogation
    of duty and force a genuine verdict of Guilty or Not Guilty.  
    
    No such verdict has been returned and I DEMAND one !!
================================================================================
Note 110.1208          THE CONTEST/THE TRIAL/THE EXORCISM           1208 of 1218
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "JanusJudasBurrPollardNorthKnor" 30 lines   5-MAR-1990 10:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T initiates...
    
    Check the record, forget the exact note number, and you'll see where
    ACCrook DEMANDED a trial by jury.  This fack puts the lie to your 
    conveniently "incorrect" recollection...
    
    >half-truths, and other assorted T-distortions...
    
    Apparently you're calling Mike Childs and a few others liars.  Fine,
    make your case that they're liars, but don't drag *me* into your
    bellyaching.  
    
    Personally, I'd have misgivings about calling Mike Childs and others
    liars if I were you, considering that ACCrook admitted to the
    documentary evidence.  But then, *you* were in here early on droning
    on and on about how there was no evidence, then disappeared when
    he admitted to the evidence, and now are back delivering unsolicited
    pompous lectures and pretending as if no evidence were ever presented, 
    Elliot Abrams-style.
    
    >When will we learn?
    
    When will YOU learn?  You act as if I created this thing when indeed
    it was created by Crooked Chris and voluntarily participated in
    by a few dozen people, none of whom presumably are interested in
    your irrelevant naysaying.
    
    Hey Mike Childs, DrM, et al: Is Bob right?  Are you guys really
    liars?  I never took you guys for liars, are you really liars as
    Bob Hunt here sez?

================================================================================
Note 112.24          OFFICIAL MIAMI DOLPHINS '90 - '91 NOTE             24 of 33
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  8 lines  30-MAR-1990 13:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Aha!
    
    Bandwagon jumping!  Heiser you're lucky they write-locked that note
    cuz this is NAKED cold-busted right here.
       
    Sure hope Midnight doesn't see this or there'll be big trouble...
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 115.130              The Official Super Bowl Note                130 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 50 lines  19-JAN-1990 12:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Let's clear one thing up right up front: The Bronks are being
    underrated cuz the AFC is underrated.  Now, no doubt the 9ers should
    be prohibitive faves after the way they've mowed everybody down
    of late, but this crap about five or six other NFC squads being
    better than the Bronks, that's bull.  Let's look at the so-called
    overpowering NFC teams in the non-49ers class:
    
    Vikes 	The jig is up with these overrated primadonnas.  AC
    		won't run routes out when he's double-teamed.  Joey
    		has lost a step.  Wade had pan-flash fever but it's
    		over now.  They have one of the worst OLs in the league
    		yet have two ProBowlers OLs!  What a joke.  7 ProBolwers  
    		on a team that backed into its first division title
    		in ages.  Herschel is a top 20 RB, sure.    
    
    	        They *do* have the league's 2nd best defense to the Orange 
    		Crush, admittedly, but this team has more pussy than tiger
    		in it.
    
    Giants	Class organization, class coach, class players.  Wait!
    		Make that class going over-the-hill players who responded
    		to Parcells' Bob-style coaching genius and then collapsed
    		when reality sank in.
    
    Rams	On the come, but with their shaky D and running game
    	 	not exactly any reason to start talking about NFC dominance.
                Could fold next year, but they *do* have the best QB.
    
    Eagles	Beagles?  Inconsistent overrated QB, team full of holes,
    	  	this year was Philadelphia's turn to benefit from East
    		Coast hype - and it showed.               
    
    Bears	A year or two ahead of the Giants in troof decay.
                                                       
    Pack	The Pack is back, arent' they?  Aren't they?  Well?
    
    Saints	Another shoulda woulda couldabeen.  Unimpressive.
    
    Now, I ain't sitting here saying that the AFC is better than the
    NFC.  But this predominance bull must stop!  You look at the list
    above and you see two things: 1) hype, 2) the clear fack that the
    Bronks woulda kicked any of them and gone into the Super Bowl. 
                                              
    I think now that you NFC people are conceding the pigeons roosting
    in Philly, Minny, Nawleans, and East Rutherford, not to mention
    the Big Bird that expired in the District, we cain be a little more
    above board now and admit that the NFC ain't all that much better
    than the American, if at all.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.153              The Official Super Bowl Note                153 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 45 lines  19-JAN-1990 14:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    My my my.  I wanna thank you NFC men for entering the unconvincing
    entries that you did.  What was it Dan used to say, "anecdotal?"
    
    Look, sure the Bronks got beat a couple.  But cain't the same be
    said for the Beagles?  Now, there's a team with a QB who's fast
    getting a reputation as the World B. Free of the NFL.  Yeah, he's
    taller than World and has hair, but forget that.  Cunningham is
    the master of the spectacular game, and then the 8^o game.  Yet
    youse guys from the Land of Yo! were fond of pointing to them as
    if they somehow represented an elite squad.  Same for Minnesota.
    
    All that's over now, and this objective sports analyst would like
    you to look at the 28-24 and notice how marginal it is, especially
    with so many of the NFCs in decline AFCs zooming.
    
    re: "wimp ball"
    
    Did I say that?  I thought my complaint had to do with their pussy-
    footing offensive scheme.  Now, I like pussy-footing as much as
    the next hair-chested scrotum on the block, but the 9ers are unlikable
    in their arrogance.  They're getting away with murder on defenses
    cuz the genius Walsh (a Iro-American bro of mine) siezed onto rules
    changes that other coaches persist in pretending don't exist:  He
    keeps routing multiple receivers into the 5-15 yard zone and taking
    the almost automatic quick rhythm gains.  Even sets up the run with
    it.  Meanwhile we have fossils throughout the league persisting
    in attempting to set up the pass with the run.
    
    I know I know.  It's nothing new in this approach.  But!  The
    implementation of Walsh's pass-to-win offense is the secret.  If
    other teams emulated his game plan (Detroit?) then they wouldn't
    be so hard to beat.  Deal is you gotta score as much as they do,
    and not be shy about taking what's there a la le livre de rules.
    
    Now hear this: Montana is the beneficiary of Walsh's system.  Sure
    he's very good, but the real mystery is why does the rest of the
    league kid themselves that it's so terribly hard to look over 3-4
    receivers and place the ball into the middle range either on crossovers
    of wide outs?  Robinson has caught on, and Everett has shown it
    cain be done if you follow the plan, and the results speak out.
    
    If Montana were playing within a_antique offensive scheme like the
    Vikes have he'd be just another schlub, only a horsefaced one...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.156              The Official Super Bowl Note                156 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 15 lines  19-JAN-1990 14:20
               -< Bronco Fever Bronco Believer Bronco Perceiver >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    John's gonna be wound up for this game.  WOUND UP!  If the Bronks
    cain keep their heads in the secondary, which means holding their
    places and playing the percentages (hard to do) they'll stretch
    but break few enough times to keep them in the game.  Especially
    if they hang back and take a turnover or two.  They've got
    some players back there, and maybe the studly Atwater cain help
    Rice & Co. grab some on-field shuteye.  
    
    The Bronks have little chance of rushing Montana, and blitzing don't
    [sic] work with old pro Joe, so they gotta hang tough and then let
    Big John work his magic.
    
    It cain be done, I'm telling ya.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.160              The Official Super Bowl Note                160 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "It's morning on the A-Team now"  7 lines  19-JAN-1990 14:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .158
    
    Hmmm.  Interesting, except for two things: 1) What's the other side
    of the bet?  What makes you lose and how do you pay?, and 2) what
    is "get(ting) beat(en) real bad [sic] excakaly?
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 115.164              The Official Super Bowl Note                164 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Broncos: consistent excellence" 25 lines  19-JAN-1990 15:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yo Hunt what it is is the haid-to-haid that is the thang.  Rest
    of it amounts to cash feeding on trash, and *that* preaches a sermon
    on the inconsistency in the National, perhaps.  28-24, perhaps this
    is definitely marginal, eh?  Moreover, what with the streaky World
    B. pulling his tricks and the Giants getting over, yes, these were
    upsets, but the upsetters themselves got some upset stomachs theyselves
    off on other fields, so it's all anecdotal until you scan the bottom
    line, analyst-style.  No, cain't agree with ya.  Not enough
    corroboration for these tough standards.  Barely getting over a
    couple of times leaves too much else mysteriously unexplained.
    
    Agree with MrT that Minny/Philly/Giants ain't gonna skeer ANYBODY
    into submitting with domination.  The NFC-daze-as-dominatrix are
    closing down now.  And we're all the better for it.
    
    re Szabo
    
    Don't think I didn't see you wiggling on your back like a puppy
    bone-begging over in that geeky sideshow in 110.  I should trust
    you giving up the beer?  Yes, the 21 points looks palatable but
    the payoff has to be up front.
    
    Like old windbag used to say while still Prez, "Trust but verify."
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.167              The Official Super Bowl Note                167 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10, Conference of All-Time"  12 lines  19-JAN-1990 15:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >and use it to insist that the opposite is true.
    
    False and fallacious.  I ain't said that the AFC is better than
    the NFC, or even even.  All I said that take out the 9ers the
    NFC looks pretty doggoned ordinary.  You look at the supposed 
    elites I enumerated and you see the same kind of good but hardly
    scawy AFC teams whose shoulder pads Big John and the Bronks stand
    upon.
    
    Get the record straight.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.218              The Official Super Bowl Note                218 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "9ers' style & city: a good fit" 22 lines  23-JAN-1990 14:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >The 28-24 advantage the NFC enjoyed over the AFC *IS* statistically
    >significant.
    
    Bruce, after Dan's correction you're probably still flinching, but
    there's more: You only make my point about the non-9ers class of
    the NFC.  Take out two of the 9ers wins over AFC squads and you've
    got what I'm talking about!  If they won three I'm even more right!
    (If that's possible.)
    
    >Magnificient Seven
    
    Beagles, Dykes, Gaunts, Shams, Fudge Packers, Ain'ts and San Francisco
    49ers.  Is this your list?  Take away the last one and you got some
    of the biggest gilt-by-association hype in recent football memory!
    
    I live in Minnesota and it's gotten embarrassing how overrated these
    guys are, and the Beagles barely beat them at home!  From there
    it is, speaking your language, all "downshill."   That the NFC has
    been loaded up with cupcakes is nothing to go off beating your chest
    about...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.330              The Official Super Bowl Note                330 of 550
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Big John a do ron ron a do ron " 55 lines  25-JAN-1990 14:21
                       -< wake up and get the religion >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I just wanna say after that after reading all this I've really come
    to disrespect the 9ers... and to respect Bronco fans everywhere.
    
    Winning is important, and winners are attractive.  But, wait a minute!
    Being important and attractive at what cost?  Down throught the
    annals of history many a heel has won and come out importantly
    attractive.  But, before you root for the 9ers Sunday, consider
    these things:
    
    Montana	- Played a key role in breaking the strike.  Showed
    		  a lack of character and intelligence in breaking 
    		  solidarity with his less well off union bros.
    
    Rice	- Whined after the last Super Bowl that he wasn't getting
    		  enough attention.  Even trotted out the preposterous
    		  old line about racial motivation among the press corps.
    
    DeBartolo	- Billionaire Ohioan dad bought him the 9ers as a toy.
    		  Lil' Eddie last year abrograted terms of partnership
    		  with is fellow NFL owners with incentive provisos.
     		  Makes no excuse that he's not a savvy businessman,
    		  just a super rich kid who's gonna spend his spare
    	 	  dough in million dollar increments to keep his people
    		  happy, without regard to the best interests of the
    		  league.               
    
    		  Vince Lombardi surely must spin in his grave when
    		  he hears of his fellow Italian-American and what he's
    		  doing to the game for sheer amusement.
    
    Jim Burt	- Once seemingly a team guy, Blurt showed just how
    		  duplicitous and greedy he could be with the switcheroo
    		  and badmouthing he sank to this summer.
    
    I could go on, but my point is this: It's easy to be a front-runner,
    to jump onto the bandwagon, to take the low risk approach.  But, on
    close examination these 9ers are a somewhat seedy lot, from top
    to bottom.  At least give the Bronks a fair chance in your heart.
    They feature a great quarterback who's toiled for years with no
    pass protection or runners.  They represent hustle, humility, and
    hope for the little guy. 
    
    And they also represent Bronco fans everywhere
    
    	folk who know their football, and don't easily scare
    
    Of virtue and soul and youth they're emblematic
    
    	a victory with them is better, but not automatic
                                          
    KNEEL down with me and FEEL the Baptist John
    
    	It CAIN be done hoo haa a do ron ron !!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.345              The Official Super Bowl Note                345 of 550
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "9er fans have dirty soles"       30 lines  25-JAN-1990 15:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >>reply was full of it.
    
    Rochibaud, you've really gone downhill on the analysts food chain
    with this grovelling you've been up to lately.  The 9ers might prove
    to be a great team (we'll see Sunday), but they're primadonnas and
    that fits their context now doesn't it?  Why is it YOU find them
    so attractive, huh?
    
    As for Bowlen, what's racist about "Chinaman?"  Man-from-China is
    an epithet all of a sudden.  Face it: Nobody's supposed to talk
    about race in this country except to pander or to accuse of racism.
    That guy getting all bitchy about Bowlen on TV was just grabbing
    free air time for careerist goals, Bowlen was clean.  
    
    As for Nawleans, the place *is* a loose operation.  Youse guys cain
    spend all the time you want beating your chests in false indignation,
    but let the record shows that a spokeswoman for the New Orleans
    Tourist Bureau conceded Pat's point and said they were working on
    making the place better for families.  Is it a crime to be right?
    
    Much ado about nothing.
    
    And as for Montana, his finking about was very early and widely
    viewed as causing the jail break.  The strike was a joke alright,
    largely because of self-centered spineless ones like Horseface.
    Lucky he's playing for diamond pinky, but it's too bad the players
    in the NFL are getting ripped off cuz of bad apples of his soft
    mettle.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 115.351              The Official Super Bowl Note                351 of 550
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Da Do John JOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" 31 lines  25-JAN-1990 17:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Speaking of Anti-Donks and the queer form of football atheism they've
    come to represent, the game has really changed, ain't it?
    
    Recall charter HoF inductee Bronco Nagursky, recently and dearly 
    departed, R.I.P., here was a blue collar stud who did it on desire, 
    power, sweat, effort.  Or Jim Taylor.  Or Larry Csonka.  Or Lenny
    Dawson.  Or Gale Sayers.  Or Jack Ham.  Or Walter Payton.  All these
    guys could bring it and they could take it too.  They were football
    players.
    
    In these modern times we're reaping the tragedy of these pussy rules
    changes (no bump past 5 yards, etc.) and the kind of cheap but
    prodigious offense it's wrought.  Also Sprach San Francisco, the
    boo-foos.  Manly jackets, indeed.
    
    Anybody in here who cares to root for the right side, the righteous
    side, the right-on side, the side that will play like hell instead
    of going automoton inside some techoid offense that farts charts
    but devoid of hearts stand up now and be counted as Bronks fans
    and gimme the Bronks Cheer!
    
    		JOHN!  JOHN!  DEY DO JOHN JOHN!
    
    		DEY TWINKLE-TOE BOO-FOO 
    
    		NOT JOHN HE NO GIRLY MON
    
    		DEY GONNA CRY BOO-HOO!  
    
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.380              The Official Super Bowl Note                380 of 550
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Carolina Blew"                    37 lines  26-JAN-1990 13:26
             -< "Joe Montana is NOT sqeaky clean." -- his ex-wife >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Here's a last second thought: 9ers fans and "fans" and the usual
    gaggle of front-runners (you know whom you are), do you really
    wanna cast your lot with a person of Joe Montana's character? 
    
    Forget the cokehaid allegations.  Last night *this* investigator
    saw some unbelievably squalid revelations about Joe, with evidence,
    from his ex-wife Cass.  Seems that once Joe made it big he decided
    to dump her and upgrade.  But, being the strike-breaking scab that
    we know he is, Joe didn't have the balls to tell her that up front.
    
    Instead, this "leader" does this: Their wedding anniversary is coming
    up and he takes twenty grand or so outta the bank and tells he's
    gonna go out and buy her a special gift.  Well, he doesn't come
    home that night, but Cass finds here wedding anniversary commemoration
    in the next day's mail: a Dear Jane letter.  "Leader" scab Joe didn't
    even have enough testasterone to yell goodye to her on his way out the 
    door.
    
    re .375
    
    Who ya calling horsface.  Elway's not the one with the zuchini ovoid
    nose plastered in the middle of his face.  Joe is!
    
    re: game
    
    Go Bronks the stage is set for the biggest fb upset ever.  Big John
    is obviously fired up, and they aren't the talent but they've got
    all the requisite pieces.  I'll look for some monster hits from
    Karl and Mr. Atwater sir, and Coach Dan is right get the rush on
    and the hands up block the sight lines and agressively fill the
    passing lanes and let the chips fall where they may.
    
    Remember Boomer's mistake: Play to win, not just to not look bad.
    
    GO BRONKS FIRE UP FIRE OUT FIRE AWAY
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.390              The Official Super Bowl Note                390 of 550
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1215,1789,1848,1872,1917,1989"    27 lines  26-JAN-1990 14:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    And a fine list of to-dos it is, Claybone.  I'll add one item
    only: the orange secondary needs to put some awful hits on the
    backs of the 9er receivers when they come across the middle on
    those short/medium routes they're so fond of running.  BOOM and
    all of a sudden the script is rewritten.
    
    Hoot, you've fried to many brain cells up in that altitude.  I
    lived in Denver in '78 and unless somebody was playing tricks with
    the scoreboard near the end of the game that stiff TE the Bronks
    made the mistake of picking up late in the season (forget his name)
    from the COWBOYS no less hadn't dropped that pass that Craig drilled
    into his midsection the game wouda gone to the wire.
    
    Monty, the question ain't so much who's gonna win who's cain beat
    the boo-foos, the question is which team is *right*.  And that would
    be the Bronks.  If the 9ers win everybody goes ho-hum and on to
    60 Minutes.  The Bronks lose and they'll be running clips of Big
    John's heroics in the year 2015.  
    
    Don't you wanna be on the side of a_historical sea change?  That
    you won't risk sullying yourself rooting for a scab with a cruel
    idea of family and anniversary gifts is strictly a bonus!
    
    GO BRONKS HIT HARD TEAR AWAY PLAY TO WIN MAKE THEM PAY FOR ALL THAT
    SIN !!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.397              The Official Super Bowl Note                397 of 550
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Dey Do John JohNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!"   25 lines  26-JAN-1990 15:15
                         -< GO BRONKS GIVE 9ER THONKS >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This is my last say on the Bowl so lissen up good:
    
    	    the 9ers cain be had and Joe ain't no Robin Hood
    
    The Anti-Donks have neighed blayed and behaved so bad
    
    	    but oh please be careful now cuz Big John look MAD !!
    
    
    BRONKS
    BRONKS
    BRONKS
    DONKS
    DONKS
    DONKS
    
    OOOoooOOoooOOOhhhHH!
    
    MrT
    
    ps to Hoot: wake up willya I saw the game where's Mr. Fact Hendry
    no way was the game a stone blowout you hear me no way.
    
    	
    
================================================================================
Note 115.430              The Official Super Bowl Note                430 of 550
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  21 lines  29-JAN-1990 08:40
                -<  earth to Erickson... earth to Erickson... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I dont [sic] the connection between montana's personal life and
    football...
    
    The league, players, networks and charitable organizations have
    worked tirelessly to institutionalize the connection between players'
    personal lives and the sport.  They do this to enhance revenues
    and to assure favorable regulatory treatment from the government.
    Did you just land from Mars or are those rose colored shades blinding
    you?
    
    >... as if it's any of your business.
    
    Until Joe quits selling his manufactured persona in preachy United Way 
    spots and "be like me" identification ads it's all our business,
    only question is whether one decides to use it.
    
    >I'll also bet [sic] your [sic] sqeaky [sic] clean???
    
    That's none of your damned business.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 115.473              The Official Super Bowl Note                473 of 550
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    52 lines  30-JAN-1990 09:54
               -< POORSPORT my ace!  Moral LEADERSHIP talkin'! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >RE.430 YOUR [sic] JUST MAD YOU GOT BLOWN AWAY LIKE NOBODY ELSE
    >EVER HAS [sic], QUIT CRYING.                                   
    
    I'm not mad at all.  I think every man woman and child in the western
    hemisphere purty much knew what was on the agenda for Sunday afternoon.
    Look over my fine texts in here and find on false expectancy or mistaken
    prediction. ONE, I dare ya.
    
    >PS. ALL THE STATEMENTS YOU MADE, WERE BASED ON YOUR PERCEPTION.
    
    What statements?  About Joe's plot to sneak off with the dough under
    the guise of a_anniversary gift, or about the note he slipped in
    the mailbox for lack of courage to inform her he was dumping her
    for someone prettier face-to-face?  These aren't perceptions, these
    are public domain data in current distribution on the networks and
    wire services?
    
    Oh, you mean the fantasy about no connection between personal lives
    and sport?  Uhhhh, if you're fantasy is real then shouldn't Joe
    have appeared in that Diet Pepsi commercial behind a center barking
    signals and not at a dining room table talking about his personal
    preferences?
    
    re Hawk
    
    Let's look at the bright side here, fellas.  The Bronks are still
    on their way up and the 9ers have peaked.  One must believe that
    right now Horseface's elblow is disintegrating much as Bradshaw's
    did after *his* final starring role in the Super Bowl.  Little chiplets
    of bone breaking loose and passing into the bloodstream and through
    the lower inteestine walls and right on down the chute to retirement
    and meanwhile Ronnie and Roger and all the rest will deflate just
    a bit and concentrate on finding new, firmer, women like their leader
    did.
    
    Oh, Claybone's analysis is right.  Only 4 original Bowl winners
    were on the field for the great 9ers yesterday, so it's the
    organization and the system, not the individuals.  Surely Joe's
    egomaniacal mission to prove that it was him and not Bill that did
    it all is delusory, as if Bill's system wasn't on the field yersterday.
    
    But after *this* finally the smart teams, the flexible organizations,
    will wise up and AT LONG LAST directly emulate the 9ers sytems and
    approach and quit conceding advantage unnecessarily.
    
    The rules changes were fully exploited by Bill.  Everybody else
    plugs along like that's not necessarily right.  How much more proof
    do they need?  The league opted for a high scoring game and are
    probably disappointed only one outfit has proven smart enough to
    take what's sitting there to be taken.
    
    MrT 

================================================================================
Note 116.11              Great college sports rivalries                 11 of 47
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Indiana vs. Kaintuck, #1 hoops"    2 lines  17-JAN-1990 11:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
================================================================================
Note 116.27              Great college sports rivalries                 27 of 47
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "make Cyst set me FREE, men!"     2 lines  18-JAN-1990 11:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
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Note 116.30              Great college sports rivalries                 30 of 47
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "fromHawktoBuzzardtoChicktoFoul"  2 lines  18-JAN-1990 12:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
================================================================================
Note 116.39              Great college sports rivalries                 39 of 47
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 18 lines  19-JAN-1990 11:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cal recently put the Bear mascot in the penalty box for untoward
    behavior.  Semms he threw a "in joe face" pie all over the family
    of the visting team's star (San Jose State?).  That, on top of frequent
    complaints from Stanford fans about the Bear's obscene gestures
    (giving the Cardinal student section the finger, attempting to hump
    a Cardinal cheerleader), Cal's president has sent out apology letters
    and is no doubt screening a replacement.
    
    In keeping with understandable tradition, the Cal Bear's identity
    has been kept anonymous.
                            
    re: the Band
    
    I was with my brother-in-law (Stanford '77) when the band stampeded.
    He had spent the previous hour lecturing on how intelligent and
    well-run the Stanford people were...
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 120.17                 KISSING in the NBA??????                    17 of 52
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 22 lines  22-JAN-1990 16:06
                          -< Smoochey Coochey "men" >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This kissing thing gives me the creeps.  Jeez!  Brrrrr!  Kinda gives
    ya the chills, don't it?  Who cain forget Peter Gent was his name?
    I dunno, but to me the NBA is sort of a phony sport nowadays anyways,
    what with the rampant traveling, palming, double dribbling, holding,
    and other assorted nonbasketballing designed by Stern to make the
    sport look for "amazing."  
    
    "Best athletes in the world" my ass.  Best morbidly tall athletes
    in the world, maybe.  Wanna talk best athletes maybe they should
    drop by a_NFL training camp and find out about athletic talent and
    about true competitiveness.
    
    Yep, you guessed where I'm going with this: Naw, they don't kiss
    cuz they're homo; they're kissing one anothers overrated overpaid
    asses cuz they actually believe the hype that's ground out on them!
    
    You'd be kissy feely sqeezy happy too if you were working for Vince
    McMahon and had a straight cut a the action which is very good cuz
    of college hoops and winter boredom and you didn't even have to
    play hard all the time!
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 123.57             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              57 of 122
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             12 lines  16-APR-1990 11:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Jerry really is god
    
    So it's true, then.  You really DO look just like Jerry Garcia!  
    
    re: Basenote
    
    Pop quiz: - Who introduced trademarked terms to SPORTS?  
    
    	      - Who introduced gilt/guilt by association name strings to 
    		SPORTS?
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 123.60             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              60 of 122
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           12 lines  17-APR-1990 11:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    To further impugn Jerry-the-Schneid-lookalike, they shoulda hired
    a songwriter and a_arranger and a singer about 25 years ago and 
    they coulda maybe made some worthwhile music.
    
    The only credit I'll give this the world's most overrated rock 
    group is that they're credited for having done the first-ever rap
    song, which was purty good actually.  But, come to think of it,
    after what rap's become maybe ol' Jerry and that Weir guy should be
    sued for about $45 billion for having opened *that* tone deaf cain
    of worms...
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 123.86             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              86 of 122
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             42 lines  20-APR-1990 09:19
                     -< Gronowski's plagiarism revealed! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Apparatus and Methods for Acceleration of Effective Subtraction
    >Procedures by Approximation of Absolute Volume of Exponent Argument 
    >Difference
    
    Groaner, you are absolutely shameless.  
    
    Readers, take a close careful scan of this Title and note the eerie
    similarities, the aura of replication, the implicit agitated nastiness:
    
     	    Apparatus 		machine-like, unfeeling, cold...
    	    Methods	 	to the dark brooding madness...
    	    Acceleration	that suddenly goes off, explosive...
    	    Subtraction		destroyer, taker, user...
            Procedures		operation, surgical manipulation...
    	    Approximation	open surgery by guesswork, haphazard...
      	    Absolute		non-negotiable, opinionated, hardhaided...
    	    Volume		lung sacs, windbagged, screaming yelling...
    	    Exponent		the negative aspect of proponent...
    	    Argument		surly, prone to dispute, combative
            Different		unique, distinct, odd, wierd...
    
    iceMAN, I read these nouns and adjectives and a light bulb went on
    above my haid.  Eureka!  (And I don't mean the vacuum cleaner.)  In
    a jag of desperation over the progress of your career, you wired your
    van with industrial cable and large batteries and lab equipment, drove
    to Boston and attended one a them High Point get-togethers... and lured
    Doctor Midnight out to the parking lot with a promise of good things, 
    grabbed 'holt a him, strapped him in the chair, screwed on the stainless
    steel haidset with the PCB diodes, flipped on the power, and read his
    brain waves into the memory of a_old PDP you'd scarfed from DEC.  Then,
    once this Frankensteinian procedure was complete, you shoved poor Midnight's
    drained charred carcass out onto the tarmac (he *has* been a little beat 
    lately) and returned home.
    
    There, you altered Ineffective Subtraction to read Effective Subraction,
    recompiled the algorithms, wrote it up, and ran down to the Patent Office.
    
    Lord help Dan Schneider if *he* ever bumps into you in a dark alley some
    dark moonless night...
    
    MrT
    
================================================================================
Note 123.88             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              88 of 122
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              3 lines  20-APR-1990 09:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dammit LuFay, didn't say antonym, said "negative aspect."
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 123.89             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              89 of 122
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             14 lines  20-APR-1990 09:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    To further explain, in theory a thing may have only one opposite.
    But it may also have a multitude of aspects.  Ever seen a crystal
    rock?  Each surface plane would be a_aspect, but only the one 
    straight through on the other side would be its...
    
    Ok, now that we cleared that up, am I seeing here that Groaner is
    *so* totally shameless that he doesn't even give a rat's ass that
    he's been found out?  
    
    Well, who cares.  Mark, let's keep a_eye on the bright side of this:
    We now know that Midnight has been zombieized, and to me at least that
    explains one helluva lot.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 123.93             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              93 of 122
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             11 lines  20-APR-1990 14:35
              -< Kentucky Fried Steven (Colonel Steven, that is) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >"Marathogging... is nothing more than jogging"
    
    Wale good, *Steven*_boy, then let's "jog" your memory:
    
    	- you've never revealed this putative "flaw" in my analogy
    
    	- you backed down when faced with a_objective judgement
    
    That sums you up on this.  Chicken.  Berk!  Berk!  Peck on, my man.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 123.98             The Official Trademark (tm) Topic              98 of 122
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              7 lines  23-APR-1990 08:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Fack (tm)			MrT
    Troof (tm)			MrT
    Gougetown Horrors (tm)	MrT
    Phil-the-Shill (tm)		MrT
    (tm)			MrT ********
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 133.1            The Official JimCalhounJihad(tm) Note              1 of 28
34875::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"     1 line   1-FEB-1990 12:41
                 -< enthusiasm is contagious, eh Chainsaw?   >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    

================================================================================
Note 136.2                        The NATIONAL                           2 of 14
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"   11 lines   1-FEB-1990 11:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    If they cater to rotisserie baseball folk they'll enhance their
    sales, something USA Today has been a bit half-baked about.  One
    nice thing about this new paper is that one won't have to suffer
    the utter embarrassment of publicly buying a USA Today just to get
    its sports page, while people in the store stare at you like you're
    another of the BrainDeadZombies in this country with short attention
    spans and slow reading speeds who relied on TV so much that they've
    sunk to the point that when they need something in writing it has
    to be in living color and in the form of boiled-down truncated simplisms.
                                                                  
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 140.4                    Tony Dorsett Retires                       4 of 10
34875::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"    7 lines   1-FEB-1990 12:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I saw Tony run for over 360 yards at Notre Dame stadium.  He was
    magnificient.  He led a torrid comeback that culminated in Pitt
    losing in the last minute with a long field goal attempt that hit 
    the crossbar, bounced up, and dropped to the ground just inches
    short.
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 144.52                The Unofficial Boxing Note                  52 of 256
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "IronMike: UpsideDownTacoSalad?"  33 lines  12-FEB-1990 11:07
                                 -< TOO MUCH >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The fight game, so dirty already that it inspires about as much 
    public credibility as Judge Flopner, manages to take a great upset
    and soil itself even more - this time through their incompetent 
    crookedness.
                             
    They had the rigged scorecards running just fine, but nobody had
    a contingency plan for what to do if Mike got beat up.  He did, and
    they stand there mouth agape and let the guy who the script sez is 
    supposed to lose back in the fight!
    
    But the real news in this fight ain't that the crooks took their
    sleazoid incompetence to new lows; it's that Iron Mike ain't invincible.
            
    Too bad.  First they take a perfectly good life and mess it up with
    emotions counselors and Ba Ba Wa Wa and handlers and then the convicted
    felon and then the tax-mooch short fingered vulgarian from Queens...
    
    HEY gang!  Mike's *supposed* to be angry he grew up in Brooklyn!
    Make him over into a BUPPIE and he ain't mad no more and then all
    of a sudden he's a guy with short arms and a lotta problems who
    cain't wade inside to mix things up(percut).
    
    That's what happened.  You understand how big a 12 inch reach advantage
    actually is?  I am, for I handle a 12 inch legnth myself several
    times daily and I'm telling ya that's HUGE!
    
    Too much!  Biggest upset ever?
    
    MrT
    
    ps, the Jets upset wasn't that big; every AFL fan knew they had
    a great shot; I bet there was a 1000x more action on Joe Namath
    then than Buster the other night.
================================================================================
Note 144.56                The Unofficial Boxing Note                  56 of 256
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   8 lines  12-FEB-1990 11:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I *must* object to that "convicted felon" line.  That's mine partner,
    >reserved for you-know-who.
    
    If you mean Gorge SpendBlender, no, that one's public domain.  Actually
    Don King could be called ex-con, seeing's how he's done time in the
    Big House.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 144.60                The Unofficial Boxing Note                  60 of 256
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: the little guy's Prosecuto" 14 lines  12-FEB-1990 12:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Thing is, now that he's stripped of his aura of invincibility, Mike
    will have a tougher time.  No more eyeballs glazing over with fear
    at the opening bell.  
    
    On the fight, one wonders why he tried to just wade in through those
    jabs.  Where were the body-haid combos off the blocks like he's
    always done in the past.  What he did Saturday was get beat up on
    his way in, then clinch, get separated, and get beat up on his way
    out for his trouble.
    
    He needs new handlers.  Screwing Cooney hurt his karmic count something
    awful, and his yin took a good yanging to square things up.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 144.71                The Unofficial Boxing Note                  71 of 256
MRTEE::SHAUGHNESSY "Rim (tm) = UpsideDownTacoSalad"  17 lines  12-FEB-1990 17:10
            -< Sugar Rim (tm) ... what a mealy mouthed little geee >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >>Why don't we all say screw the WBA, WBC, et al ????
    
    >That's what Ray Leonard's been saying for years.
    
    Yeah, Sugar Rim (tm) proved that it's possible to go over the haids
    of these mooch middlement and give John Q. Public a good screwing
    direct, as we've seen with Rim's carefully scripted farces, wherein
    he first chooses an overage or otherwise ailing opponent, then
    carefully negotiates advantages in ring size, glove weight, and
    anything else he cain get.
    
    Sugar Rim (tm) proved what Ali couldn't: that a crooked fighter
    doesn't need a crooked promoter to put on over.  Rim's a trailblazer
    for a brave new world of cost-effective crookedness in the fight
    game.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 144.83                The Unofficial Boxing Note                  83 of 256
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Bud Waltman interviews ACCrook" 42 lines  13-FEB-1990 10:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I agree with JD on Ali's negative impact on the fight game.
    
    There had been crooks and crooked fights down through the game's
    annals, but Ali came along at crucial juncture and was both the
    midwife and child of its transformation.  In the past the fixes
    had to do with betting combines wanting a sure thing.  It's much
    more sophisticated than that now, and the stakes are orders of
    magnitude higher: Now it's a fighters persona as athlete/celbrity
    that defines his value.  Name recognition, charisma, public profile 
    away from the ring, fighting style in the ring, W-L record, and
    hype status all play into his worth as a boxer.  All these things
    are figured into this wierd new calculus that boxings ringleaders
    use to calculate when and where to "predetermine" fight outcomes.
    
    Ali had it all, but his TV persona - even after his draft evasion
    rap - was invaluable.  They kept fixing him to keep the money rolling.
    Even the counterculture people were on his bandwagon cuz of his
    courageous commitment to civil rights and against being dragged
    into an unconstitution war.  Everybody loved him and nobody wanted
    to see him go so they kept fixing him till he was completeley broken
    and then discarded him as so much brain-damaged refuse.  
    
    However likable, Ali was the midwife to the totally fake and unlikable
    Sugar Rim (tm) and similar packages contrived by Howard Cossell
    and such ilk.
    
    So, now we have a boxer who at this point anyway doesn't even NEED
    to be fixed to maintain his unprecedented value and by sheer force
    of larcenous habit they fix him anyway!
    
    But they screwed up and blew too much credibility this week.  Sorta
    like the lesson just learned by the now disassembling Communist Party 
    in Russia, who finally looked across the ocean to America and realized
    that while they peddled massive amounts of propaganda and almost nobody
    believed it in the States they mete it out in small strategic doses
    and almost everybody believes it!
    
    Don King and Bob Arum should be more discrete in their use of falsehood
    to maximum successful myths - as done with Ali and his feigned loss
    to Leon.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 144.140               The Unofficial Boxing Note                 140 of 256
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Home Boy STUD"   23 lines  19-FEB-1990 12:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A fight promoter based out of Minneapolis did an interview with
    a local sports crew as part of the build-up to the Douglas fight.
    
    Based on what he said, they chose not to run it on the Eyewitness
    News that night.  Based on what happened, they've run it several
    times since.
    
    He (forget his name, an older guy) has worked some with Buster and
    predicted that he'd KO Tyson, whom he considered overrated.  He
    said that Douglas was a fighter and that when the short armed Tyson
    tried to wade through Buster's jabs Buster'd make him pay the price;
    and that once Tyson got inside he'd beat him up, and ding him when
    Tyson sought to get back outside.
    
    He said that Douglas would dominate the fight and, once Tyson was
    worn down from the beating, would knock him cold in a later round.
    
    I wonder if he took the odds and laid the dough?
    
    Most amazing sports prediction I've ever seen on film.  The guy
    told the future.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 144.150               The Unofficial Boxing Note                 150 of 256
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Oliver Wendell Homes Boy STUD!" 22 lines  19-FEB-1990 16:57
                                 -< murderer >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Don King got introduced to the boxing crowd by Joe Frazier, for
    some reason, at the Thrilla in Manilla.  
    
    Funny thing how our friends the sports journalists [sic] haven't
    found the time to do an in depth profile on the murderer Don King.
    I mean, they do these personality profiles all the time ("Rumeal's
    gonna be a CEO some day") so it's not like non-sports content is
    off-limits.
    
    For instance, did the guy he killed leave a wife and kids behind?
    Did he use a knife or a gun?  What caliber?  Did the victim linger
    long, was it painful?  Did he get him in the back?  Why did he murder
    him?  What else is on Don's yellow sheet?   
    
    Funny how the TV folks, Don's partners, manage to look the other
    way on such a thing, while excoriating basically innocent individuals
    cuz they they're susceptible to the camera.  Funny how these sports
    journalists [sic] cain be so forgiving with crooks like Don and
    Gorge SpendBlender when they're partnered with such sleaze to make
    the big bucks.
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 156.31                            MIA                              31 of 36
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              1 line  11-APR-1990 15:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What does LDUC mean?
================================================================================
Note 156.33                            MIA                              33 of 36
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            4 lines  12-APR-1990 13:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Oh, you mean like with Dan Schneider and Bob Hunt and Doc Midnight
    and those type people?
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 169.3                      RIP, Hank Gathers                       3 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   16 lines   5-MAR-1990 15:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    One wonders how much the style played by Loyola contributed to this.
    The style they play allowed almost no time for on-court recovery,
    you're either pressing or running or shooting or reboudning, but
    under Westhead's system you're ALWAYS going full out.  Could it
    be that this style of play is unsustainable for people with less
    than bullet proof hearts?
    
    A_important question, for there's a growing body of medical knowledge
    about stress-induced heart attacks among tall people.  Several high
    school hoopsters have croaked from similar symptoms; and that 6-9
    all-time volleyball superstar woman met the same fate.  
    
    Westhead might meet somewhat more difficulty recruiting people,
    especially big people, to come play his brand of hoops after this.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 169.6                      RIP, Hank Gathers                       6 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   23 lines   5-MAR-1990 16:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Nobody suggested that doctors prescribe a_acceptable style of hoops
    play for a player with arhythmia; my point is that Westhead's extreme
    style of play would press a defective heart's margin much more than
    a normal style.
    
    Look at a player in a normal game set and he's catching his breath
    (and slowing his heart) with frequency, ON COURT.  I've seen Loyola
    several times and those guys never stop unless substituted for.
    
    If one has a weak heart to begin with it stands to reason that playing
    at such extremes of physcial stress would increase the chance of
    heart attack.  Same would go for the extreme stress Len Bias
    experienced by snorting a wad of coke (it was speculated at the
    time he was susceptible to that stress cuz of Marsan's (sp?) syndrome).
    
    Football coaches learned (from insurers as much as anybody) that
    summer drills did little good and frequently caused heart attacks.
    I remember a highly recruited runner coming to Colorado who was
    forced to do repeated 220s as part of a conditioning regimen and
    he died of a massive heart attack despite being in premier condition.
    Chuck Fairbanks rethought his conditioning regimin pronto.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.9                      RIP, Hank Gathers                       9 of 225
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 26 lines   6-MAR-1990 08:21
                          -< Whither responsibility? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Although the lap dog sports "journalists" (read: partners with
    sports teams) would never dare question Loyola's culpability
    in the matter, *I* will, after all, that's what notes is for,
    right?
    
    There's a strong possibility that because the school was flush
    for the first time with fame and fortune (money) that their judgement
    was clouded and they were willing to chance Gathers' life cuz he
    was the star player.
    
    Think about it:  Gathers was worth millions to the school.  Team's
    relentless style of play is considered by many unprecedented in
    game.  Style of play clearly implies greatest possible stress to
    heart.  Gathers suffers mild on-court event after such play.  Diagnosed
    as mild heart condition susceptible to extreme stress.  Gathers sits 
    out two games.  Gathers prescribed medicine.  Gathers convinces
    doctors to let him play again.  Gathers then convinces them to cut
    his dosage to minimize side effect of fatigue.  Extreme style causes
    fatigue.  Lowered dosage increases risk of seizure.  Gathers dies
    of seizure.
       
    Funny, but the talk I heard from his doctors sounded a LOT like
    Ed Messe at his press conference, you know, where he knew full well
    every word would end up in a court record.
    
    MrT                                       
================================================================================
Note 169.31                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      31 of 225
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  37 lines   6-MAR-1990 15:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You guys are FULL of it.  Nowhere did I make so much as one
    allegation, point a finger, or impugn Gathers' college.  What
    IS it with you guys that no subject cain be discussed without
    the immediate interjection of half-baked polemics and censorship?
    
    Especially YOU monsieur Devlin.  What kind ofjive-bull analogy 
    was that with Edwards?  Just hurtful phraseology and a wanton disregard
    for facks, that's what.  Speaking a crisp logic and honoring the
    facks at hand:
    
    1. He was already diagnosed as afflicted from a congenital stress-
       sensitive heart problem.
    
    2. He was allowed to go back to playing (the most stressful form
       of hoops *I've* ever seen).
    
    3. His doctors and school then allowed him to play after reducing
       his dosage.
    
    4. He croaked from what almost certainly was stress-induced heart
       attack (happens up here in Minnesota all the time with old men
       shoveling the snow :^).
    
    Now, Gathers apparently axed that his dosage be reduced, and true
    a doctor cain't force rational behavior on patients.  But Westhead
    and/or Loyola sure as HELL could've not let him play.  
    
    But they let him play, didn't they?  On the face of this situation
    if I were Gathers' father I'd sure as hell want the medical examiner
    and the LA County DA gather info on who said what around his returning
    to play with the reduced dosage.  If it turned out he got bad advice
    or pressure to accept a_increased level of risk, I'd sue their asses
    off without apology.  Remember, Gathers was being counted on for
    major tournament revenues - something always welcome at marginally
    funded Jesuit schools.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.32                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      32 of 225
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  24 lines   6-MAR-1990 15:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: the proper moniker for Chris Knorr
    
    Hmmm.  Chris, *surely* you must agree that Doc's ACCaught is a fair
    settlement.  Keep in mind that you confessed to running a crooked
    contest, and that - even despite the outrageous time limits imposed
    on me by Judge McUnfair - I established that you picked a wholly
    non-compliant entry as "winner" and negotiated for weeks to pimp
    the contest for ACC tourney tix.
    
    Don't get cocky on us, for I've received private communiques from
    members of the Jury informing me that they felt you'd suffered enough
    and they didn't want to exile you - something I myself openly stated
    was desirable (I still consider Dan Schneider's bad influence on you
    the central crime).
                              
    I only wish the Jurors woulda consulted me BEFORE they cooked up
    this exorcism gag - I coulda told them that Schneid's got this place
    wired and that his old buddy Needle was gonna shut 110 down at the
    first opportunity, a censorship facilitated by Bob Hunt's bellyaching.
    
    So let it lay, ACCaught.  Best not to dredge up your sordid past,
    especially in front of the nice Jurors who gave you a break.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.33                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      33 of 225
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  13 lines   6-MAR-1990 15:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Gathers led the nation in scoring and rebounding last year.
    
    Which stands as perhaps the most puffed up dastistick (tm) in the
    history of sport.  Gathers saw 2-3 more opportunities to shoot and
    rebound than other star college players.  If he had played on a
    normal team his numbers woulda been halved at least.  
    
    Why is it no sportswriter out there ever took the trouble to run
    ratios on points/bounds per possession on him in comparison to others
    last year?  Cuz that'd be being a spoilsport (read: objective realist),
    that's why.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.36                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      36 of 225
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  19 lines   6-MAR-1990 16:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: glenn
    
    Saying "there's a strong possibility" is not to allege.  It certainly
    bears being investigated, given that a life was lost.  If for no
    other reasons than to avoid it happening again and to supply the
    Gathers family with the proper information on which to decide whether
    or not to sue for damages.
    
    re: Gathers' dastisticks (tm)
    
    WHAT?!  When a player sees two or three times more possessions he
    has so many more shooting and rebounding opportunities as to render
    Gathers' raw numbers highly suspect.  
    
    You seem to be saying that if Gathers had had only half the
    opportunities to shoot and rebound his totals would have been
    unaffected.  This logic escapes me.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 169.40                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      40 of 225
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  33 lines   7-MAR-1990 11:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: Gathers, Loyola, and his doctors
    
    Well well well.  This morning's LA Times has a cardioigist who
    was involved in Gathers original diagnosis (but who didn't direct
    his ongoing care) pointing the finger.  He sez that Gathers was
    diagnosed as having a condition where certain parts of the heart
    are enlarged and mildly scarred (sometimes congential, sometimes
    due to viral infection).  He sez that it was recognized all around
    that extreme physical stress could result in a "fatal event."  This
    explains why they kept a fibrillator unit at courtside when Hank
    first came back (but for some reason they stopped the practice,
    too bad cuz they coulda used it to arrest his seizure).  The doctor
    also questioned the wisdom of letting him go back to playing,
    especially under reduced dosage.
    
    >T, at least he was good enough to capitalize on the opportunities!
    
    True enough.  I'm just saying that normally leading the nation in
    both categories would indicate a truly extraordinary, even all-time
    great, college player, but with Gathers it cain in large part be 
    explained as an obvious dastistickal (tm) skew.  No doubt he's very
    good, how good we'll never know now; surely he was a top ten player.
    
    >Edwards cain be compared to Gathers
    
    Not the way in which you draw the comparison.  True, Edwards coulda
    croaked from puffing a joint or snorting a line or whatever it was,
    but his school didn't endorse his participation in that activity,
    and the activity wasn't medically diagnosed as life-threatening.
    
    These two points are where you specious comparison falls down.  
    
    MrT                 
================================================================================
Note 169.44                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      44 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnight"  40 lines   7-MAR-1990 17:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    >Right now, it's an opinion of yours what happened and why, and
    >once again you are ready to pass it off as fact.
    
    I'm afraid this is entirely untrue, and indeed unless you cain quote
    me to that effect it's established that YOU are the one given to
    passing off mere opinion as fack.  
    
    I only pointed to a "possiblity" and that it certainly bore investigation. 
                                                                               
    Now, given that a cardiologist and the nation's top newspaper agree
    with me and a_investigation is inevitable, and rightfully so.
    
    >Unless it is absolutely... proven that Gathers was given the go-ahead
    >to play...
    
    This is already conceded by all involved.  
    
    >... at the urging of ULM ...
    
    This is only tangentially relevant.  Unless this cardiologist is
    lying and LA Times is on its way to a major libel suit, we now know
    that they on one hand let him on the court and on the other were
    concerned by having been told that he could die as a result of being
    there (concerned enough to have a fibrillator on hand!) - and then
    agreed to continue playing him under reduced medication cuz his
    performance was affected by it!
    
    >... so that the school could rake in the bucks ... 
    
    Again, only tangentially relevant to their liability.  But nobody
    would bother arguing that Gathers was worth millions to them in
    revenue at the gate, on TV, and in the tournament.
    
    >... your argument doesn't wash.
    
    And yours has already fallen apart.
    
    MrT
    
================================================================================
Note 169.45                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      45 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volataire,BobKnight"  25 lines   7-MAR-1990 17:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >All addiction, whether 'recreational' or not, is diagnosed as 
    >life-threatening.
     
    First, Edwards was never "diagnosed" as being "addicted."  He was
    caught with traces of either pot or coke in his blood and that's
    bad PR for the college basketball industry.  Your analogy between
    IU playing a kid with traces of a non life-threatening drug in his
    blood and a school putting a kid back on court after having been
    told he could die out there, and then keeping him out there under
    reduced dosages is specious, and plainly so.
    
    re: Gathers' right to play anyway
    
    I've seen a lotta city street ball, and even the best games are
    less strenuous than high school ball (except for short bursts),
    and noway nohow EVER get as stressful as what Loyola plays.  Kids
    in street games routinely slow and stop to catch their breath. 
    He woulda lived a long life playing street ball (maybe to a ripe
    old age like Pistol Pete!)...
    
    In any event, it's up to the University and the doctors to maintain
    a higher standard of safety than a self-interested youth with no
    training in cardiology, wouldn't you agree?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.71                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      71 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  49 lines  12-MAR-1990 11:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    After having a good guffaw at JD's abusurd statement ("all addictions
    are life-threatening"), I became a bit more glum to read how this
    Gathers story is coming my way.  
    
    A week ago what was being written by I and ACCaught was dismissed
    out of hand; this week Gathers' family sez it ain't buying this
    "win one for the gipper" smarm and is suing cuz they've found that
    the Athletic Dept. requested two medication reductions.  
            
    So, here are the facks, some contested, some not contested, as they
    go into negotiations for a big out-of-court settlement:
    - Gathers suffers on-court seizure
    - Gathers diagnosed as having bad heart
    - Bad heart known to cause heart seizures when physically stressed
    - Gathers told to stop playing, could die if continued playing          
    - Loyola decides to let Gathers continuing playing despite warning
    - Loyola takes this seriously enough to keep courtside fibrillator handy
    - Life-protecting medication fatigues Gathers, affect performance
    - Gathers' medication reduced once at Athletic Dept. request
    - Gathers' medication reduced twice Athletic Dept. Request
    - Loyola denies knowing Gathers informed of threat to life
    - Loyola denies requesting reduction of life-protecting medication
    
    Excuse me, but isn't it the Athletic Department's job to make damned
    sure it's aware of ALL relevant facks, diagnoses, medical prescription,
    and prognoses after a player in their charge suffers a mild heart
    attack?
    
    Loyola's plea of ignorance isn't good enough.  Gathers' option of
    risking his life (for the money, btw, not for the glory of old Loyola
    U.) absolves Loyola of nothing.  Loyola's claimed ignorance means
    either a) they were cavalier towards Gathers' well-being or, b) they
    are posturing for out-of-court negotiations.  That they'd be concerned
    enough to have a fibrillator at courtside yet unconcerned enough
    to let him fast break for 40 minutes is astonishingly callous towards
    life.  Gathers wasn't competent to interpret the medical risks for
    himself; the school, presumably, had someone who was yet maintains
    it was uninvolved in doctor-patient communications.
                                                       
    Two predictions: 
    
    1. Loyola will pay, big, out-of-court.
    2. This whole thing will be swept under the rug by the money-grubbing
       troika of television/NCAA/Loyola.
    
    I wonder if the troika would be so blase about Loyola's behavior
    in this matter if it had been a white kid.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.84                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      84 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  54 lines  13-MAR-1990 09:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >but we know MrT.
    
    JD, you don't have a shred to show that raising questions about
    Loyola's wanton irresponsible behavior in this matter is a matter
    of my personality.  That being so, and in light of your patently
    absurd Jay Edwards analogy, I'd say YOU are the one given to making
    rash statements without backing (i.e., posing opinion as fack). 
    
    Also, I don't buy you implication that all lawsuits are necessarily
    spurious.  I disagree with that, JD, in fack I think I cain prove
    this fantastic assertion of yours to be untrue.
    
    Glenn, that the sports commentator was black doesn't prove a damned
    thing, as you imply.  Moreover, thus far ALL the anti-Gathers opinion
    laid down in here has come from men who earn their bread in the
    sports industry: sports reporters, sports magazine editors, sports
    television personalitites, sports trainers, sports coaches, sports
    university administrators...
    
    Who are they to impugn a grieving family?  These are the same geeks
    who're gonna boost their ad ratings by publishing/broadcasting lurid
    photos of poor Hank in the paroxyms of a very pubic death.
    
    As for *your* Jay Edwards analogy, it falls on the question connected
    to it that axes about those who would legislate how we live.  The
    sports industry has cynically worked in tandem with the sports industry
    to help the American public get used to the idea of forfeiture of
    consitutional rights for corporate welfare (i.e., Edwards was fired
    for being bad for the NBA's image, not for supposedly putting his
    life at risk).
    
    And Ross, your point that Gathers was a grown up is compelling. I'm
    sure your eyes were welling up with alligator tears when you typed
    in that adam's apple-tugging sentiment.  Thought about applying
    at Hallmark?  In any case you're wrong: Any number of precedents
    already exist establishing that drawing reasonable boundaries of
    medical risk for a player is the responsibilty of the team's organization.
    One of many examples is former pro lineman Ed Riley, a fit and trim
    43 year old (?) who cain barely walk with a cain cuz he was allowed
    to continue playing despite long-term risks to his knees.  He recently
    won a_in-court settlement against the Vikings and the NFL.  
    
    Gathers' family will win, too.  They'll win cuz the court will recognize
    that he wasn't competent to evaluate the medical risks, and cuz a school
    is responsible to ensure against student's taking unreasonable risks,
    whether informed or not.
    
    Loyola is showing a complete lack of class by going on with the tournament.
    Bad hear + super fastbreak basketball + money, a deadly mix.  I wonder
    how much dough they're counting on from the tournament.
    
    Win one for the Gipper?  No.  Win one for the Grubbers?  Oui oui.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.88                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      88 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 21 lines  13-MAR-1990 10:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T , you want to tell us again how it was the faced paced style
    >of Loyola that killed Gathers?
     
    Mac, you want to quote where I ever said such a thing?  [you cain't]
    
    Also, your startling revelation that Gathers death wasn't the first
    sports heart attack in history means nothing.  Was the 17 year old
    diagnosed as having a very defective heart?  Had he had a stress-induced 
    seizure recently?  Was he put on medication?  Was this teen advised
    by a_examining cardiologist that he could die if he continued playing?
    Did his pick-up teammates phone his attending physcisian twice axeing
    that the medication be reduced (and the risk of fatal attack increased)?
    
    And, yes yes, were they playing like chickens with their haids chopped
    off?  I've seen a lotta pick-up games, and I ain't NEVER seen NOTHING
    even REMOTELY resembling Loyola's style of play.
    
    Y'know, this note has sprung up more bad analogies than the Mine
    Shaft in the West Village, haw haw haw...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.89                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      89 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 33 lines  13-MAR-1990 11:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .86
    
    Hear hear!  Well spoken, ACChris.  *IF* all those things happen,
    then they're off the hook.  But, by rights for now they *SHOULD*
    be on the hook - at least according to those of us who place more
    value on human life than on our television viewing pleasure.
    
    I'm struck by how callous so many in here are towards what happened.
    
    re .85
    
    As ususal JD you turn a legitimate sports subject into a_irrelevant
    personality contest.  Ok, you're cooler than I, feel better now?
    But, pu-leeze, quit putting false words in my mouf as you just did
    with your unfair and unprovoked "we all know" obfuscation series.
       
    As usual JD you supply no substantive corroboration for these
    inexplicable attacks of yours, and without apology!
    
    You'd be better off shedding alligator tears over in 11 with Schneid
    for the express purpose of shiving Bob than with drawing Mine Shaft 
    ankle-grabbing bad analogies with Gathers having been "chewd up
    and spit out" by the Loyola greed machine.  And yes, I *DO* dispute
    your fantastic assertion that all drugs are life threatening.  The
    phony anti-drug campaign by the sports industry is a matter of a collusive
    trade-off with the government: they get anti-trust exemption, free ad 
    time, and a waiver on players' constitutional rights to help ensure
    profit; the government gets to use sports to innure the population
    to the idea of abridged constitutional rights and also great assistance
    in forwarding the agitprop and the behavior control goals that are behind 
    it.            
                   
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.93                     RIP, Hank Gathers                      93 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 34 lines  13-MAR-1990 12:06
                          -< Hank Gathers... R.I.P  >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >you are right, drugs aren't addicting
    
    You are irresponsible.  I never said this.  What kind of personality
    defect does it take for one to intentionally falsely ascribe these 
    words to another?
    
    >I said my last in this note
    
    How convenient.  Misrepresent another and then cash out.  If you
    decide to become more honest on this subject why don't you provide
    a verbatim quote where I made the statement you claim I made.
    
    >I caint help it if you caint take any opinions that aren't the
    >same as yours 
     
    I haven't complained against those in here who've addressing the 
    sports subject at hand (Gathers); I've only complained against you,
    and you are the only one to attempt to turn ME into the subject.
    
    >you can go on and on and on...
    
    Seems to me I've entered most of the factual information in here.
    
    JD, why are you so callous towards Gathers' unnecessary death?  Do
    you feel that young men should needlessly sacrifice their lives
    for your television viewing pleasure?  Are you more comfortable
    with personality attacks than with the tough sports subjects?
    
    Intellectually flaccidity is what you're exhibiting on this subject,
    JD.  Don't go soft on us, especially what with this deep Mine Shaft
    bad analogy vein you're working - nothing's made me guffaw so in
    quite a while!  ;^)
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.106                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     106 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  45 lines  14-MAR-1990 08:49
             -< I'll take constitutional rights over NBA profits >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    .92>>not all addictions are life threatening
    
    .98>Mike, PLEASE don't spread that bulls-it about "all drugs are
    .98>not addictive"
    
    What a_egregious misquote, Doc.  I think you been [sic] watching
    too much a that self-serving misinformed Rep. Dingleberry and you've
    lost sight of reality vs. government agitprop.
    
    As for pot users turned demented crackhaids, Spiro Agnew would be
    proud a you.  I'd say maybe 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999%
    of all American pot users didn't end up crackhaids.  Most crackhaids
    are young and despise pot or don't know it at all; they're on crack
    cuz that's what South America decided to make available (exponentially
    bigger profits per unit of volume). 
    
    Let's take this twisted logic in extremis: I cain prove that the
    vast majority of crackhaids are confirmed prior users of religious
    fantasy.  Wanna bet I cain't?
    
    My point is that not all drugs are addictive, and not all addictions
    are life threatening, in any reasonable sense of the term.  I only
    said this to rebut JD's patently absurd Jay Edwards/Hank Gathers
    analogy.  
    
    My other point is that a self-serving industrial combine sharing
    common interests in the matter is pushing the idea that we're all
    addicts.  Although not a shred of evidence exists in the medical
    literature to prove the assumption that behaviors meet the strict
    scientific definition of disease, a_entire industry, a_entire very
    very profitable industry, has sprung up around this assumption that
    remains unchallenged.  And it works for everybody in the business:
    prosecutors, courts, police, counselors, doctors, pharmaceutical
    companies, insurance companies, government agencies, media, etc.
    
    Alcoholism ain't no disease, it's a behavior.  Same goes for cocaine
    addiction, junk, speed, the works.
    
    Ain't it handy that, once falsely defined as a medical condition,
    those "suffering" from it or deemed potential "sufferers" cain then
    see their rights abridged unilaterally in the name of their own
    interests?
    
    MrT
                                  
================================================================================
Note 169.109                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     109 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  65 lines  14-MAR-1990 09:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>not to mourn Hank Gathers but to immediately cast aspersions towards
>the Loyola-Marymount program?  

I don't mourn Gathers.  It's sanctimonious crap for anybody to claim
they're "deeply saddened by" or "mourn" his death.  Gathers as a person
means no more to me than the shopping bag lady who died from pneumonia
in Union Square last week.  The fack that he was a small-time celebrity
makes his life no more meaningful to me.  To place a phony overvaluation
on Gathers' life is to devalue the lives of non-celebrities. 

And raising valid questions, questions also being raised by a_examining
cardiologist, Gathers' family, and the nation's best newspaper is NOT
"casting aspersions!"            
    
>Who decided to turn this tragedy into a forum for his self-righteous 
>condemnations of sports, money and the media?

And it's self-righteous to raise valid questions about a player's life 
very possibly being used?

>and without any shred of proof (yet) to substantiate it?  
    
I haven't claimed anything's been proved other than what's already obvious:
Gathers shouldn't have been allowed to go on playing under the conditions he
did; and LMU had a cavalier attitude towards the risk.

>Was it the same guy who was overjoyed to discover that his beloved 
>Hoosiers were to be on national TV last Sunday, instead of the more 
>meaningful Big Ten championship-deciding game?
 
Meaty substantive content here, Glenn.  Does this put me in the same category
of seed as that greaser Paul Westhead?  8^o

>Your cynicism towards the entire industry belies the facts in this particular
>case.
    
Your willful credulity is more problematic, cuz it ain't "cynical" to axe
why a kid with a serious heart defect proven to be susceptible to stress was
allowed to reduce his medication, twice, and go back to playing the most 
stressful style of hoops ever seen.  

>Was proper diagnosis withheld from Riley?  Was there malpractice?  If
>so, this case is completely irrelevant to the Gathers' case until
>proven that LMU is guilty of same.
    
Yes.  Yes.  No.   It's not irrelevant cuz it's already been conceded that 
everybody was apprised of the risk and that the medication was cut twice and
that the trainer was NOT monitoring his use of the mediciation.

The only thing to be proved in court is culpability and liablility; by my
objective lights the irresponsibility is already apparent and tacitly conceded.

>(Of course you can't be quoted later as  saying that LMU only did it for the 
>money-- 'cause you were only "wondering".  Nice games, T.)  

Wonder no more.  And you cain QUOTE me:

		
	We're trying!  We're trying!  We're loyal to ol' Loyola U.!

	We're vying!  We're Vying!  We're married to Marymount blue !

	We're dying!  We're dying!  We call it Payola MoneyCount too!

MrT                                                                
================================================================================
Note 169.110                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     110 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Volatire,BobKnight"  4 lines  14-MAR-1990 11:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Anybody know how long Terry Cummings sat out before coming back
    to the game after his collapse?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.112                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     112 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 30 lines  14-MAR-1990 13:30
             -< play your heart out for ol' Payola MoneyCount U. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >why didn't you... shopping bag lady...
    
    Two reasons: 1) This is a sports conference, not a politics conference
    and, 2) Nobody has attempted to foist a dump truck load of self-serving
    sanctimonious crap on us about how sad we all are and about what
    a_unfortunate unavoidable "tragedy" her death was.  I hate hypocrisy,
    and ol' Payola MoneyCount U. is postively flooding us with that right now.
                                       
    >where were you...
    
    At that time no cardiologist had spoken out that his condition was
    diagnosed by him as life-threatening, nor had it been revealed that
    his medication had been reduced twice not at the doctor's request,
    or that the school claims it was ignorant as to this diagnosis and
    reduced medication.
    
    I was being fair, that's where I was.  Now that these shocking facks
    have been published, and now that Hank's parents have expressed
    their anger at good ol' Payola MoneyCount, no reason I cain't too.
       
    >where has it been proved...
    
    Ball's in your court, JD: It's your job to prove to US that running
    faster more often with less rest over a two hour period is NOT more
    stressful.  
    
    Self-evident truths need not be proved, according to reasonable
    men, anyways [sic].
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.118                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     118 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 38 lines  14-MAR-1990 14:29
            -< thous dost complaineth too much, oh credulous ones >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .113
    
    Nobody disputes that he was diagnosed as having a heart defect  
    that made playing basketball life threatening, nor is disputed
    that his medication was reduced twice at a request made to the
    doctor.
    
    From this, the only thing being speculated is whether Gathers requested
    it or the school and Gathers in tandem.  The school claims they
    were uninformed as to the diagnosis, and admit they weren't monitoring
    his taking the medication.
    
    One doesn't need a lawyer's stamp of approval to react to these
    facts.  FACTS.  F-A-C-T-S.
    
    Now, what we have left here is the finger pointing contest between
    his attending physician and ol' Payola Moneycount U.  Whatever the
    case, I'll withstand the personality assination for being honest
    and caring enough to side with Gathers parents, a_examining
    cardiologist, and the L.A. Times.            
    
    Even with the Cummings' analogy being invalid, I'm *still* waiting
    for a straight factual answer to my straight factual question: Was
    Terry rushed back into chikcen-with-the-haid-cut-off frentic action
    (no, he plays normal hoops) after only a few days?  
    
    Those of you who preen and pose about facts, give me that fact. As
    I remember Cummings sat out for quite some time.  Isn't this true?
    Also, come to papa and factually substantiate that Cummings prevailed
    upon his doctor twice to reduce his medication to levels lower than
    what he or she prescribed.
    
    Quit complaining about my use of facks that are already there and
    start supplying some of your own!
    
    MrT
    
    
================================================================================
Note 169.119                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     119 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 16 lines  14-MAR-1990 14:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tell ya one thing, if it's found that Westhaid and the Payola 
    Moneycount  people in any way contributed to Gathers' unnecessary
    death, the school should get the death penalty and Westhaid  should
    be banished from the NCAA.
    
    I'm also concerned that the NCAA isn't actively investigating this.
    The emerging facts of this case show all the signs of Moneycount's
    lawyers advising them to throw in the towel and get one of those
    secrecy clauses in return for the cash payoff.  
    
    If *that* happens then its the NCAA's responsibility to conduct 
    a separate investigation of its own that applies not narrow legal
    tests but instead reasonable standards to ensure against abuse and
    wreckless behavior involving student-athletes.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.122                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     122 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  7 lines  14-MAR-1990 15:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I was debating the issue on its merits...
    
    If that's so, Glenn, explain to me what my being happy about IU
    pre-empting the Big10 championship game on national TV has to do
    with the accusations made by one of Gathers' examining cardioilogists.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 169.125                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     125 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 13 lines  14-MAR-1990 15:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >tell a fellow NOTER that he's FULL OF SHIT???
    
    I knew DEC had a daycare program for employees' infant children
    and toddlers, but does the moderator of this conference tolerate
    such infantilisms as this.  Censorship is a longstanding Boston
    tradition, I understand.  But I wonder how the Mormon Ken Olsen
    would feel about such irresponsible, offensive, and totally
    irresponsible behavior as this?
    
    Speaking a censorship, don't they ACL people from notesfiles for
    this type of juvenile behavior?           
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.138                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     138 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"    7 lines  15-MAR-1990 13:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >constant moderator-bashing
    
    If complaining generally about profanity such as the childish stuff
    pumped in by AHEARN is "moderator bashing" then maybe there *is*
    a problem, but not one I've ever compained about.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.139                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     139 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   22 lines  15-MAR-1990 13:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >the burden of proof (not personal bias/opinion) is on you.
    
    No it's not.  Cuz these two facts are already widely recognized
    as a given in the modern physiological sciences: 
    
    1. The greater the physical effort the faster the life sustaining 
       systems run (i.e., faster heart rate, faster respitory rate, 
       accelerated processes in musculature chemistry).
    
    2. Running more often, at a faster average speed, and with less
       intermittent slowed periods during the term of the effort requires
       more physical effort.
                    
    Btw, their style of play isn't at issue here; their handling of
    Gathers response to his newfound serious illness is.
    
    >you never answered any of my questions.
    
    What questions?  If they're about politics or other irrelevant material
    you'll have to axe someone else for a_answer.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.141                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     141 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   50 lines  15-MAR-1990 14:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Last night I caught a long news piece (maybe 10 minutes) focusing
    on "the Gathers controversy" by one of the networks.  They 
    interviewed a Dr. Brodsky, who is either the cardiologist making
    the charges or the one facing the lawsuit (tuned in late, so I 
    don't know).  They also interviewed an LMU official, Westhaid, and
    other athletes diagnosed with arythmia under the care of Dr. Brodsky
    and who chose to continue playing.  Some interesting points:
    
    - Gathers' condition by policy calls for no stressful sports and
      recommends only bowling, golfin, walking, etc. to ensure safety
      and long life.
    
    - The other athletes (one a 17 year old swimmer, the other a 20
      year old college football player for whatever LA school team is
      called the Lobos).  
    
    - Both have never reduced their medication and said that Gathers' made 
      a huge "mistake" that cost his life. 
    
    - Both sat out for some time after the initial diagnosis before
      even going back to training, much less competition.
                                                         
    - The football player's trainer and team doctor both took very active
      roles in the administration of medication, monitoring for symptoms,
      and bought a defibrillator and assigned a special CPR team just
      in case. 
      
    - The high school swimmer's coach and school similarly took a great
      involvement in medication administration and symptom monitoring.
      Her coach did not keep a defibrillator handy until Gathers' death.
    
    - Westhaid, when axed whether the school had requested the medication
      be lowered answered, "no, not to my knowledge.  We did meet with
      the physician to understand his condition, what was going on,
      to try to understand what was happening with Hank, and the trainers
      did speak to his physician about the effects of the medicine on
      his play." 
      
    - An LMU official said, "we did what was right, we did what was
      right."
           
    Making these comparisons with arythmic athletes Dr. Brodsky treats,
    the journalist pressed him that Gathers came back quicker than the
    others, reduced medication unlike the others, and that LMU seemed to 
    be take a much less proactive role in protecting Gathers than the
    LA college and high school shown.
                                                                        
    Btw, how does the controversy hinge on Gathers' status as an adult?
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 169.145                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     145 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   23 lines  15-MAR-1990 15:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >So why do you continue to bring it up?
    
    I don't; others keep bringing it up.  That they were playing an
    ultra-uptempo and therefore definitely more stressful form of the
    game only exacerbates the docotor's and LMU's culpability in the
    case.  It in no way is the basis of the case.
    
    >There is a question over whether or not Gathers should assume some
    >responsibility in this.                     
    
    I don't see why.  He was 23, he was certainly anxious to play and
    play well in front of the scouts, he had every reason to want to
    take any reasonable level of risk.  
    
    What does separate the Gathers case from the 17 year old playing
    street ball is that he was a student, playing under the direction
    of the school's athletic department.  Certain responsibilities are
    assumed in that situation, regardless of age.  That's where the
    issue will be played out.
    
    MrT
    
    
================================================================================
Note 169.148                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     148 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   18 lines  15-MAR-1990 16:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >140 or more semi-worthless notes filled with ...
    
    Good ol' Bob Hunt.  Always brimming with interesting ideas and
    opinions on sports: What's worthless and worthwhile, when it's
    time to move on, what should and should not be said, what the motives
    of writers might be,  who's got a_ego problem... you know, interesting 
    meaty substantive sports-related stuff like that.
    
    I probably don't need to say this, but I fail to see where a controversy
    should be designated uninteresting or off-limits in a notesfile while
    its national news in the real world.   Not complaining, mind you; I've
    understood for two years now that for some reason there's a strong
    urge in computer conferencing towards muzzling and trivializing. It's part
    of the natural environment to be accepted, like how cows mooing is part
    of dairy farming...
    
    MrT
       
================================================================================
Note 169.158                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     158 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"   17 lines  19-MAR-1990 10:17
               -< however, LMU is not a pretty picture in this >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .154
    
    It's understandable that they plan to focus on the inexcusably poor
    handling of his attack, cuz the prevention part must largely focus
    on the deailings between Gathers and the athletic staff and, as
    we know, Hank won't be able to give his best recollection of what
    was said or wasn't said.
    
    Again, that Gathers' had every incentive in the world to risk his
    life has been a given from the beginning.  The two reductions in
    medication, the lax monitoring, LMU's claims of being ignorant of
    critical information, the marked absence in special emergency
    preparations in comparison to similar athletes... these are the
    things could weigh as heavily on LMU as the incompetent emergency
    treatment.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.161                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     161 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"  8 lines  20-MAR-1990 14:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A cardiologist commenting on the autopsy report said that further
    tests should be done to attempt finding out whether the medication
    underdosage was a matter of first taking adequate dosage and then
    quitting altogether or taking an inadequate dosage from initial
    diagnosis through death.  Which of the two is not yet known.  That
    unknown fack is of obvious importance.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.164                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     164 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 37 lines  21-MAR-1990 10:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I've believed from the beginning that the Truth in this case will
    never see the light of day.  LMU's culpability in this is wide open
    for all to see.  Unfortunately, in this country the last ten years
    or so the definition of responsibility has been pretty much narrowed
    down to court decisions - and in this shocking matter there'll be
    no court decision.
    
    Here are the FACKS as we know them:
    
    	- LMU was extremely lax in their arrangements for assuring Gathers'
          well-being in comparison to similalry afflicted college athletes,
    	  including athletes under the care of Dr. Brodsky himself.
                            
    	- The two reductions in medication were highly unusual and have
    	  sharply criticized as dangerous by many cardiologists, including
    	  one of Gathers' examining physicians.
    
    	- LMU was entirely unprepared as far as equipment and training
          goes to handle a_on-court heart attack.
          
    	- Gathers was allowed to convulse and die without even the basic
          emergency treatments any one of us would receive from the
    	  thousands of first responders (myself included) the Red Cross
    	  has trained in DEC workplaces.                           
    
    Now, we live in a_era where for now at least the defendant in a
    civil tort cain purchase silence with cash.  That'll be what LMU
    will do in this case.
    
    It's up to the NCAA to do a_investigation of its own that isn't
    constrained by narrow legalisms or bought silence.  My money sez
    there'll be no such NCAA action.  They'll vigorously investigate
    minor infractions, but not fatal negligence.
    
    How much money do all those new TV deals add up to again?
                  
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.166                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     166 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 26 lines  21-MAR-1990 10:36
                          -< L.A. Law = L.A. Justice >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yeah yeah yeah, JD, just like the crisp justice in your L.A. Law
    world you live in:
    
    - Gathers received the best possible medical care, LMU made sure
      of that, something we know from the statements of ignorance made
      by the coach, the trainer, and the administrator.
                                      
    - LMU did everything possible to assure that no undue risk was taken
      by Gathers or his handlers.
    
    - Coach Westhaid had safety as his first priority, and he and the
      trainer did everything possible to ensure absolutely minimal risk.
    
    - Running around like a chicken with the haid cut off isn't any
      more stressful than the sport in its normal form.
    
    - LMU was completely prepared for a possible heart attack.
    
    - Gathers received excellent emergency response treatment on the
      court.
                                                       
    We know all these things to be true cuz nowhere has a lawyer told
    us otherwise.  Until a qualified attorney tells us these things
    they MUST be true.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.168                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     168 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 36 lines  21-MAR-1990 13:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >If they are really facts, I'd simply like to know where you got
    >them from...
     
    Poor emergency response treatment - Saw it on TV with my own eyes.
    
    Poor preparation - Read in papers and saw interview of trainer sidestep
    reporter's question on why they didn't continue to keep de-fibrillator
    at courtside after first game back.  Also saw Gathers' attending
    physician who was at game sidestep same question.
    
    Poor risk management - Saw and read statements from Gathers' attending
    physician, trainer, coach and LMU administrator that his medication
    had been reduced, twice.
    
    Poor risk management - Saw on TV trainers of other afflicted athletes 
    state that they took CPR to better prepare for possible event; also saw
    LMU trainer fumble answering why he didn't. 
    
    Poor risk management - Saw on TV coaches athletes state that they
    monitored them taking medication; also saw LMU trainer and read LMU
    coach state that this was the doctors' job.                          
    
    Poor risk management - Saw on TV that coaches of other afflicted athletes 
    insisted that doctor monitor medication level through periodic blood
    testing; read in paper today that the only such test of Gathers' blood
    is the one they took last week from his cadaver.
    
    Also, as for your wrongheaded "opinion as fact" bleatings, saw on TV
    and read in papers comments from afflicted athletes themselves express
    shock at LMU's nearly non-existent effort in risk management and
    emergency preparedness in relation to theirs, and doubts about why
    his medication was reduced, twice.
    
    Happy now JD?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.171                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     171 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 18 lines  21-MAR-1990 16:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    JD, don't make it sound as if my list is in any way new.  The public
    debate has taken them as established for some time now.
    
    I hope the Gathers family gets a zillion dollars.  But based on
    the shoddy behavior of LMU, regardless of their motives, and based
    on their willingness to lay everything at a dead man's feet, what
    I *really* hope for is a_agressive in-depth NCAA investigation.
    
    If they do it and the kind of negligence that in my opinion is 
    indicated by the two reductions, the lack of monitoring, and the
    disastrously poor emergency response is proven in a formal
    investigation then I'D REALLY LIKE TO SEE LMU PUT ON THE DEATH
    PENALTY AND WESTHAID BANNED FOR LIFE.
    
    Just my NSHO opinion, mind you. 
    
    MrT
    procedure then 
================================================================================
Note 169.177                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     177 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 55 lines  30-MAR-1990 12:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >it would be a terrible blow to the reputation of college basketball
      
    A reasonable assumption perhaps cancelled out by a_unreasonable
    reality?  I think, even if the school takes the fall on this, the
    impact with the public will be cushioned quite nicely.  
    
    Remember how everybody said there'd be a huge public reaction to
    the 270 marines killed due to stupid planning, how haids would surely
    roll in the Pentagon?  Or how 'bout the time the country's secret
    police and foreign service got caught trampling the constitition
    while also drawing up marshall law contingency plans, sharing planes
    with coke smugglers, dealing critical weapons to our most hated
    enemy, and lining their pockets with stolen money?
    
    Nothing.  Warm and fuzzies.  With proper spin control these days
    ANYTHING is possible in the realm of public opinion.
    
    There's a boom industry just starting right now around what is being
    called "opinion programming."  Used to be called propaganda, but
    that's too crude a_idea to properly describe the breakthroughs in
    sophisticated control over public opinion through electronic images.
    
    We saw that during the pregame to Payola Moneycount's (thankfully)
    losing effort:
    
    -  First Jim Nance pronounced that "it's impossible to not be pulline
       for LMU today."  
    
    -  Then a sports reporter (also black) from that revered fount of 
       government propaganda, the Washington Post said "every American
       feels he has to sympathize with the kids, coaches, student body,
       and school after this terrible tragedy has affected them so deeply."
    
    -  Then CBS superimposed a_image of Hank's visage over his teammates
       celebrating their most recent victory in this inspired pursuit
       of... The Dream.
       
    What a bunch of sickening, mauldlin, pure unmitigated bull.  Bah.
    
    George Orwell would've died watching this classic example of somnuprop
    damage control.  There they are, the victims own ilk, flatly telling
    us what is possible for us to think, what we must think, what we
    must feel.
    
    Meanwhile, no mention of the suspsicion, the controversy, the damaging
    evidence.  Not a peep about the partnership between TV networks
    and college enertainment divisions.  Mum was the word about what
    Mrs. Gathers felt was possible or what she had to feel about this.
                                
    I turned off the TV, and not only cuz I couldn't bear to watch the
    Running Rabble go up against this lates Jesuit college hoops factory;
    I turned it off cuz I was so deeply offended and insulted by such
    a frank and open piece of lying manipulative lying one-sided propaganda.
                                                                
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.181                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     181 of 225
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         30 lines   4-APR-1990 12:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re 1
    
    Y'know reading this personal cheapshot diatribe got me to thinking
    about when someone's *really* feeling down and low.  Take Hank,
    for example.  How *did* he feel about the maudlin play acting about
    The Dream and so forth?  Or his thoughts on the finger pointing
    by his LMU paymasters, pointing at the bottoms of his upturned feet.  
    
    Well, Hank's probably feeling a little giddy, having lost about
    75 lbs at this point at least.  This loss didn't stop the networks
    from implying it was UnAmerican to not disagree with aggreived mother.
    It didn't make him able to respond to the buck-passing by the Jesuits.
    Did it make it easier for him to see the greaser with the jug ears
    trading on his corpse like so much recruiting fodder?  
    
    We don't know these things.  We DO know that where a Terry Cummings
    trainer took reading with medical instruments on the bench during
    games Payola Moneycount U. didn't even bother to check his medicine
    (but they did take the time to see it reduced twice).
    
    Kudos, ol' Payola MoneyCount U.  You got great press standing on
    a daid man's back and looked good doing it (except for those ears,
    Paul).  Good job.  You pushed him on the court, you pushed on his
    doctors, yet you were kind and sensitive enough to hug him and hold
    him while his heart exploded.
    
    Still, cain't help but wonder what his thoughts are now on Paul
    Westhaid and ol' Moneycount U...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.182                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     182 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             36 lines  23-APR-1990 08:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Gathers family, cruelly described by a Tom writer/broadcaster as
    counting on Hank for meal tickets, has finally filed their lawsuit,
    which is for $32 million (?).
    
    Biggest revelation thus far is a letter from the Gathers' attending
    cardiologist describing the pressure he felt from Payoloa MoneyCount's
    highly profitable Jesuit basketball factory.  Seems that the jug-eared
    coach Paul Westhaid called the doc and demanded that his medication
    be lowered cuz it was affecting Hank's play.  The doctor acquiesced and
    lowered the dosage. 
    
    Then, the suit alleges, Westhaid called the doctor a week or two later
    with the same demand.  Again, the doc acquiesced with the end result
    being one very dead basketball player.
    
    Wow.  Think about it: A coach, a self-interested basketball coach, 
    rides herd on a players cardiologist to lower dosage to help him win.
    This after the player had suffered a heart seizure on-court, apparently
    as a direct result of the extreme physical stress of basketball play at
    PMCU, and after dire warnings from consulting cardiologists about the
    danger.  The dosage is lowered, first once, then twice, and then poor
    Hank suffers a major seizure.
    
    To underline the level of concern and humanism rampant at PMCU, no 
    special CPR training had been undertaken to prepare for such a_eventuality, 
    the defibrillator had been set aside, and they knelt at his side and 
    passively let him die.
    
    The media, of course, has been very kind to Westhaid and PMCU, embracing
    this money-grubbing hoops factory with tourney-long maudlin "Win one
    for the Gipper" portrayals.
    
    Now, aside from the family's lawyers, apparently the only American who
    sides with Mrs. Gathers in this dark moment of loss and suffering is MrT. 
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.191                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     191 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              35 lines  23-APR-1990 09:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "High society lifestyle?"
    
    Hawk, I *suscribed* to that particular magazine for several years and
    am hurt that you'd hold it up as a_example of bad taste.
    
    The Gathers family motives are irrelevant to me.  What I'm interested
    in is the fallout for the athletic establishment, and by that I mean
    the NCAA, the school, the Athletic Dept., and Jughaid.  It's not good
    enough to say, "well, other schools make big money too, so PMCU
    shouldn't be singled out for its bad luck."  Fack is, at a lotta schools
    this never coulda happened cuz of the people and institutions involved.
    
    PMCU looks real, real sleazy on this.  Everytime I see Jughaid's picture
    now, I think of a used car saleman who pushes insurance on the side to
    old ladies door-to-door and then takes divorcees on dates to strip bars
    where oil drips from napes of greased haids and the men attempt to emulate
    Wayne Newton... and succeed.
    
    *If* the allegations are true (probable); and *if* the truth is actually
    outlined to the public by our fine judiciary [sic], then:
    
    	- the NCAA should be dragged through a Congressional hearings and
    	  raked over the coals and slapped with regulatory legislation
    
    	- ditto for P.M.C.U., and they should also be given a 2 year death
          penalty sanction
    
    	- Jughaid should be banned from coaching for life
    
    	- the P.M.C.U. administrators responsible for the matter should be
          by NCAA demand permanently reassigned from any athletic dept. 
    	  responsibilites thereafter  (e.g., trainer, Athletic Director,
          student advisor, et al)
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 169.192                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     192 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              15 lines  23-APR-1990 09:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >admits to guilt and a gag order is invoked onthe settlement.
    
    I gag on these gag orders.  The public by rights was endowed with
    a public judiciary and these gag orders directly violate that key
    Constituional principle and serve only the interests of the paying
    party.  It should not be left to the payee to preclude our access
    to justice as it's meted out, even in matters of civil tort.
    
    I agree, though, the NCAA, insurers, and media will work hard for 
    PMCU to sweep this matter under the rug by paying out the blood
    money on the QT.
    
    Shame.  Sad but true, and inevitable.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.195                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     195 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              25 lines  23-APR-1990 10:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Speaking a Hank's son, I found it shocking that Gathers made the final
    six in the John Wooden Trophy selection process.
    
    Here's a guy with a_illegitimate son, a guy who sires a child outta
    wedlock and walks away from it, and that old cheat Wooden seriously
    considers holding the then-dead Hank up to the nation's youth as a
    role model of good behavior and good citizenship.
    
    What a slap in the face to African-Americans, or do they see the
    millions of impoverished teen-aged mother single heads of households
    as alright and of no consequence as far as plummeting educational 
    standards and skyrocketing inner-city crime rates?
    
    Odd, but Senator Moynihan considers the exploding illegitimate birth
    rate as a grave threat to the nation in general and to African-Americans
    in particular, yet here we have one of the prime icons of the Sports
    Industry holding up a father of a_illegitimate child as a fine example
    of how our youth should behave.
    
    I'd say that Hank's non-wife deserves a few bucks, too.
    
    But again, I'd just like to see PMCU and the NCAA fried big-time on 
    this... never happen, though.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.199                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     199 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              15 lines  23-APR-1990 13:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .197
    
    All that's well and good, and absolutely correct, but Reality is
    in operation here too, and that means that the general manager of 
    the operation - in this case a basketball coach - who held much sway
    over the decisions of his trainer and doctor and the influence he
    allegedly exerted was low.  LOW.
    
    Add on top of this the chicken-with-the-haid-cut-off style of play
    this same oily jug eared coach introduced to the college game, and
    one wonders whether it takes a_advanced degree in rocket science to
    link the extreme stress that style entails to the reckless attitude
    of ol' PMCU and the cadaver that deadly combination yielded.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.220                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     220 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              74 lines  24-APR-1990 12:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >too much... loaded worded noting going on for my taste...
    >high and mighty moral majority-crowd has already convicted
    >Westhead and (Payola Money Count University) prior to a fair
    >trial, as guaranteed in the Constitution...
    
    There's a soft-haidedness rampant in this country of late that
    sez until someone is convicted of something in court the citizenry
    may not make their own judgements or take corrective action to
    avoid a_incident being repeated - as seen with the bull quoted
    above.
    
    Here's the rub: Regardless of what the final disposition is of
    this suit (which almost certainly will be kept secret), the NCAA
    and possibly Congress has some serious fixing to do.  This will
    inevitably involve making judgements and assigning responsibility
    on a level above the narrow legal issues that'll be hammered out
    in this civil suit.  
    
    That many in here decry the debate as the sole province of the lawyers
    betrays how lawyer-dominated this nation's very political discourse
    has become.
    
    The blame/responsibility cain't be totally assigned to Gathers and/or
    the attending physician.  If the physician sez he warned Gathers of the
    grave danger (and I assume he isn't planning to perjure himself and
    that he did make the warning) then the culpabililty must fall somewhere
    between Gathers, Jughaid, and ol' Payola Money County U.  Let's review:
    
    - Gathers
    
    Assuming he was fully informed, a legal/ethical/moral responsibility
    for allowing him to risk death on behalf of the coach and school for
    whom he was generating huge returns would certainly still remain.
    
    - Jughaid
    
    The coach would be the first stop on containing any recklessness on
    Gathers' part, and he'd be responsible for helping the school gather
    information on the risks and deciding whether to force Gathers from
    the team.  
    
    He'd also be responsible for sitting down with the doctors and working
    out a plan for prevention, monitoring, and emergency response - both
    to protect Gathers' interests and the school's.
    
    - Payola Money Count University
    
    The final and total culpability will rest with the school assuming,
    again, that the cardiologist divulged all pertinent information and
    warnings.  A doctor cain't stop a patient from risking death by
    refusing appropriate treatment.  This is a_established principal in
    medical malpractice law  ("Diagnosed with lung cancer and you kept
    smoking?  Too bad."  "Refused to take heart attack prevention medicine
    after stress-related seizure and being diagnosed as having a serious
    heart ailment for career reasons?  Tough.")
    
    I don't see much potential for culpability on the doctor's part - unless
    he were a blithering incompetent.  Remember, the doc had nothing to gain
    from first letting Gathers play and then twice reducing his medicinal
    dosage.  Gathers, Jughaid, and PMCU certainly did.
    
    Bottom line: Legal precedent demonstrates that a_employer and/or school
    bears responsibility in the behavior of its employee/student in activities
    under its direct responsibility.
    
    No speculation, all fact.  No lawyerly blood money settlement or jury
    verdict required to know this a priori.
    
    Now, some speculation:
    
    I think PMCU decided to set aside the defibrillator, and declined to 
    do CPR in front of a national TV audience for PR reasons.  
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.222                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     222 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              29 lines  24-APR-1990 13:05
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    >The attending doctor was the only one qualified to make decisions
    >on Hank's wellbeing.
    
    This is flat wrong.  It's up to the doc to diagnose, prognose, 
    recommend, prescribe, and monitor.  From what we know he did all
    these things (unless, again, he's a liar and plans to perjure
    himself).
    
    The decisions, once the doc has acquitted his responsiblities,
    then lay with the patient and, in this case, those responsible for
    the administration of his activity: his employer (the "school").
    
    If Hank made a_informed decision to risk death, a secondary and
    final decision would then rest with the school.  Every known precedent
    of law, good bahavior, good taste, ethics, morals, and simple common
    sense dictate that it was incumbent on ol' Payola Money Count to refuse
    to let Gathers risk his life while in their employ and under their
    supervision.
    
    If.  It's hard to believe that Jughaid had his best interests at heart
    *if* he did make those calls to the doc about lowering the medication.
    
    Whatever the case, the Gathers' are gonna be rich.
    
    For me, though, the most astonishing thing of it all is the extremely
    biased pro-Money Count reportage lavished by the paymasters in the 
    media.  "You can't help but root for Payola Money Count" indeed!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 169.225                    RIP, Hank Gathers                     225 of 225
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              20 lines  24-APR-1990 15:23
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    Bottom line: If the doc informed the patient and his handlers of
    the condition and the dangers involved with lowered medication
    dosages, he's 100% off the hook.
    
    Then good ol' Payola Money Count and Jughaid (don't you LUV these
    clever names, JD? *I* do! :^) are put in the position of trying
    to lay everything off on poor Hank.
    
    One thing working their way is mum's gonna be the word in court
    as far as Hank's side of the story.
    
    Inevitably, Jughaid and the Jesuits are look like reel heels on this
    one.  But to *my* piercing eyes they looked like heels when they knelt
    their wringing their hands watching him die!
    
    Imagine the mess for them had Gathers survived with disabilities.
    Hank might've had some VERY interesting things to say about Jughaid,
    the trainer, and all the rest of them in *that* court room scene!
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 173.5                      New conference...                        5 of 13
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  11 lines   9-MAR-1990 10:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This kind of note shouldn't be allowed, it should be deleted by
    the moderator.  Every year we get the same crap, people clogging
    directories with non-sports-related personality-oriented censorious
    bilge that hasn't a damned thing to do with sports.  
    
    The only question remaining here is: Why hasn't this note been deleted
    or at least write-locked?  We see sports-related notes write-locked
    with regularity, shouldn't this be summarily deleted, or at least
    moved to Soapbox or Digital?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 173.8                      New conference...                        8 of 13
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!" 24 lines   9-MAR-1990 11:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Don't give me that.  110.* to begin with was a gag note, and a good
    one.  When it turned out it was a crooked gag, I was approached
    by several people in mail to bust Chris.  After I said I had proof
    that Chris was a crook on this, and HE demanded a trial by jury, which
    in turn was taken part in by a crowd of about a dozen people.
    
    There are peripheral notes in here all the time, and the whining
    about their existence has to do with the need to control people
    by acting as if the next unseen key doesn't exist (i.e., anybody
    who didn't dig 110 coulda stayed the hell out).  I'll take no crap
    on this, for every rathole I've ever created (Smif', Greenwell,
    DH, etc.) is sports-related.  Note that the control freaks made
    a power move to cut SPORTS down in repsonse to a period of junk
    noting that took place during a period when I wasn't even noting.
    
    No matter who's in here, there's always somebody busy telling somebody
    what pigeon hole to jump into.  While I believe that profanity and
    threats and such should be censored, the pigeon holers don't have
    a leg to stand on as far as rathole control - it's a matter of taste,
    if they don't like it they cain screw off.
               
    Stop this note.  It's censorship note, not a sports note.
       
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 174.2                        GP Formula 1                           2 of 22
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!"  38 lines   9-MAR-1990 10:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Is anyone interesting ?
    
    I am.  *Terribly* so.  ;')
    
    Seriously though, where ya wanna go Bruno for F1 talk is one of
    these two notesfiles:
    
    	marvin::disk$robin:[notes$library]cars_uk      837.*
    
    			or
    
    	simvax::racers		 		       696.*
                                                        
    They talk nothing but cars and racing in these files and some real
    knowledge and info is available there (lotsa amateur racers, corner
    workers, hard core fans, etc.).
    
    Be interesting to see how that reformmated engine with the pneumatic  
    valvetrain works, eh?  Apparently the Lambo was bleeding oil all
    over the Lotus and Larousse teams during testing, but those were
    test spec engines, so maybe they'll do well in race spec.  
    
    While I've heard no word at all from Phoenix, they're talking 4 g
    cornering in testing, largely because of great advances in downforce 
    achieved with the new monocoques - which could make the city street 
    circuit in Phoenix break apart even worse this year (they had two
    corners come apart last year).
                       
    I too am anxious to hear from Phoenix, to see just how much Honda
    was sandbagging on horsepower.  I expect them to maintain their
    power advantage this year, but this time less so, maybe only 15-25
    bhp in raw power and less advantage in power curve tractability
    in relation to the new Ferrari and Renault enginies.
    
    We'll see, but only partially so, cuz Phoenix is one very slow low
    quality race circuit...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 174.4                        GP Formula 1                           4 of 22
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ferrari beats McHonda in '90!!" 15 lines   9-MAR-1990 12:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Could be, Mike.  I'm ragging about street courses in general, not
    Phoenix in particular (street course bashing with the possible
    exception of Monaco is de riguer in race noting).  But I wonder
    how much a diff the ambient temperature will make in a race groove.
    Pulling 4 gravities with high stick rubber and popping clutches
    on 700 horsies tends to ruin street grade asphalt - real race courses
    use a much higher grade of concrete (similar to what's used in 
    runways).
    
    I'd like to see them build a road course that uses part of the oval
    outside of Pheonix, where speeds would be high and people could
    view from the mountainsides.  Now *that* would be doing the US GP
    the way it cian be done in The Valley Of The Sun!
    
    MrT(ifosi, bandwagon style)
================================================================================
Note 174.6                        GP Formula 1                           6 of 22
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "1066,1215,1789,1848,1917,1989"  18 lines  14-MAR-1990 11:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, no problems with the road Sunday.  I wonder whether it indeed
    was the cooler temp or that they fortified the concrete at the corners.
    
    Bernie Ecclestone sure did screw up with his scheduling of the US GP,
    cuz he barely got a minute of national air time what with Championship
    Weekend and all.
    
    A buddy of mine went to Phoenix and he tells me the set up was MUCH
    better than last year; and that the crowd was ten times bigger. He
    said the city had its act together and there were all kinds of activities
    surrounding the weekend that made it seem like the internationally
    important even that it is.  
    
    Not a bad race, either.
    
    As for the results: Bah humbug!
    
    MrT(urbo)
================================================================================
Note 174.8                        GP Formula 1                           8 of 22
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!" 12 lines  14-MAR-1990 12:26
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    The first step toward Americans getting involved is the planned
    integration of FV (?) into F3 spec, which would facilitate driver
    and sponsor crossover as with GTP/C.  But the problem would remain
    that we have CART where they have F1, and having a country-specific
    series is gonna tend to block the competiting series out.
    
    Also a problem is that the F1 series at most would only have two
    event dates available for America and that's gonna limit the capacity
    to build interest among a population already exposed to 16-18 CART
    dates and 14,798 Winston Cup dates each year...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 174.13                       GP Formula 1                          13 of 22
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   45 lines  15-MAR-1990 16:11
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    >thousands and thousands of smaller circle tracks
    
    How many?  It's hard to estimate, but aren't we talking maybe
    500, a thousand absolute max?  There are a ton of short ovals,
    but *c'mon*.
    
    >You can probably name on the fingers of both hands how many 
    >PERMANENT road racing facilities there are
    
    There certainly are many fewer tracks (much more land required),
    but I'd bet many more series squeeze into the weekend than at a
    short oval - so counting tracks isn't measuring participation.
    During the warm months most road courses go from mid-morining til
    dark with one series or another.
    
    Let me see have I cain count more than 10 off the top:
    
    1.  Branierd
    2.  Lime Rock
    3.  Sears Point
    4.  Midland Park
    5.  Road America
    6.  Road Atlanta
    7.  Sebring
    8.  Daytona
    9.  Laguna Seca
    10. Portland
    11. Indiana Raceway Park
    12. Willow Springs                                           
    13. Mid-Ohio
    14. 
    
    Aha!  Tom, unless you're a Thalidomide baby you lose the bet :^) !!
    
    There are many other permanent facilities; for instance one up in
    Sonoma County, one in the Central Valley, a number in Texas, at
    least one around Philly, in Virginia, Maryland, Jersey, south Florida,
    Seattle, Chicago, Denver, and St. Louis that I cain think of but don't know
    the name of... and I'd bet that there are permanent road circuits
    in upper New England, Kentucky, Utah - you get the idea.
    
    I have nothing against oval racing, but road racing is trememdously
    popular as a participatory sport in the States.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 174.17                       GP Formula 1                          17 of 22
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   33 lines  19-MAR-1990 10:49
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    The advantages/disadvantages of the two respective types:
    
    - Ovals you cain see most or all the course; road courses you see
      only one section.
    
    - Road courses have many more types of driving situations (braking
      areas, lines, speeds of turns, turn both ways).
    
    - Ovals force more wheel-to-wheel action.
    
    - Road courses never get monotonous.
    
    - Ovals have lotsa full course yellows which, especially with NASCAR
      on the button, makes for a lotta end-of-race heats for the flag.
    
    - Road courses are more amenable to the picnic scene.
    
    - Ovals are more convenient to everything (john, beer stand etc.)
    
    - Road courses are MUCH easier for our young men to sneak into.
    
    - Ovals are probably more dangerous (no gravel skirts, just thick
      walls).
                                                          
    - Road courses have more places to pass.
    
    - Ovals are faster.
    
    I grew up in Indy, and musta snuck in there a dozen times.  BIG
    ovals are, to me, much better than the little ovals cuz they have
    so much subtlety, so many more "sweet spots." 
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 174.20                       GP Formula 1                          20 of 22
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   6 lines  19-MAR-1990 13:01
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    Very bad news on Scott Pruett.  He had a bad crash testing at West
    Palm and received serious leg injuries.  Too bad, he looked like
    THE bright young light in CART, and he's not even a big-time driver's
    son or nephew or anything!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 174.22                       GP Formula 1                          22 of 22
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              11 lines  24-APR-1990 15:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Digital is a proud sponsor of Ferrari.  Have been for a few years
    now.
    
    As of this year, DEC also is sponsoring the Patrick Racing/Alfa
    Romeo team.  Ain't seen no DEC logo on that car, yet.  
    
    Speaking a Ferrari, Prost looks a heckuva lot better than Berger
    as their #2 pilot, eh?  And Berger looks a heckuva lot worse than
    Prost as #2 over at McHonda... except to Dennis and Senna, of course.
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 175.11                  The Big Ten Sports Note                    11 of 39
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10, Conference of the 80s"   11 lines  14-MAR-1990 11:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I saw a good part of the Badger-Gopher clash.  After watching that,
    and the State High School finals, I found myself wondering how the
    NHL could botch such a beautiful sport so badly?  
    
    The NBA's aesthetic failure I cain understand, but putting a puck
    in the net is truly difficult!
    
    Btw, the Badgers overwhelmed the Gophs; looked like they had two
    extra players skating even when they were NOT on a power play!
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 175.15                  The Big Ten Sports Note                    15 of 39
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna MUST be stopped!!"   6 lines  19-MAR-1990 13:13
                               -< Big10 Soccer? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Anybody out there got any info on NCAA men's soccer rankings and
    tournament results over the last ten years or so?  I have a sneaking
    suspicion there might be some good news in that for us (especially
    me :^) .
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 175.27                  The Big Ten Sports Note                    27 of 39
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 23 lines  23-MAR-1990 10:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    IU has won a few national Titles ove the past ten years, I think.
    Don't follow it myself, but I also remember them losing in the Title
    game a few years back.  The reason they're so good is the Languages
    Institute at the school attracts a lotta foreign students cuz they
    do a summer immersion program, put them in class in the fall, and
    continue immersing them for the first full year with more advanced
    teaching thereafter.  
    
    The program is attractive cuz the student cain learn English and
    earn credit simultaneously, and they teach almost every known language
    there (Swahili, Finnish, Polish, Portugese, almost every Chinese
    dialect, Hindi, Arabic, etc.).
    
    Naturally, the soccer coach there saw the opportunity, and recruits
    in Brazil, Colombia, Africa, Saudi Arabia, you name it.  Always
    a lotta foreign names on the roster.  At least there used to be.
    
    I love it.  After two decades of watching the other program wallow
    its way to repeated national Titles in the other sport with a bunch
    of scary recruits it's nice to see some magambo talent pouring in,
    Gougetown-style :^)
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 175.30                  The Big Ten Sports Note                    30 of 39
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 12 lines  23-MAR-1990 12:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >come on, every Chinese dialect
    
    I said ALMOST Charles.  I dunno, I used to date a pretty rich girl
    lesbian who majored in Chinese.  She was smart, but nearly lost
    her mind cuz the program she was in meant doing the big southern
    dialect from that big island down there, and Classical, and then
    some type from the west, and so on.  
    
    Point is, this soccer coach cain roll in and sign any hotfoot
    soccer player if he wants to, no matter where he's from.
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 175.34                  The Big Ten Sports Note                    34 of 39
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "Ayrton Senna must be CAUGHT!"    26 lines  23-MAR-1990 15:06
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    Haa.  Tower of Bubble perhaps?  Yes, a brilliant gi.. er 
    citizen-woman who had it all.  I could see her slipping from me, 
    though, that the rumors were indeed true.  She followed the 
    inevitable path, first to Madison, Wisconsin and then, inevitably, 
    on to a final resting place in Berkeley, California.
    
    I understood how cruel the world cain be through that experience.
    There's too much competition as it is, without it swooping in from
    left field like a_ill wind ... :^(
                                                       
    re: Chinese dialects
    
    Don't pummel me with your expertise on things Chinese, Charles!  I've
    read James Clavell's _Tai Pan_, I have some knowledge on these things 
    too!
                                                                       
    re: foreign players
    
    I think they've gone to recruiting more American talent of late,
    but that team used to be mostly foreign, especially the starting
    lineup.  I remember one guy, a Colombian, who went on to star for
    the New York Cosmos.  Spoke pretty good English, think he was in
    grad school when he played, lotta those foreign guys were already
    graduated from their local colleges.  It's probably changed, though. 
    
    Big10 Tom
================================================================================
Note 175.39                  The Big Ten Sports Note                    39 of 39
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight"  7 lines  30-MAR-1990 12:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Big Ten bounced by ACC
    
    Admit what a total fraud this p_name is and I'll answer your question.
    
    Intellectual honesty begets the same from thine neighbor, y'know.
    
    Big10 Tom

================================================================================
Note 197.24                 Where are the Tech fans?                    24 of 34
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 21 lines  30-MAR-1990 12:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >if you Techsters have luck with this approach
     
    What approach is that, Bob Hunt?  
    
    Same one like where they paid the ref to rob a_already won game
    from its rightful victors, the Michigan State Spartans?   Yeah,
    they want sex and as lucky as they've been the past week or so they'll
    probably get laid in spite of themselves.
    
    Final Four trivia: 
    
    - Has any other totally undeserving team ever appeared in the Final Four?
      
    - Will the NCAA, in a sudden jag of concern ver its credibility, force
      the Yellowhackers to sew a_asterisk to each uniform?
      
    Hmmm, probably "no" to either.  But, come to think of it it's high
    time that the NCAA got a little pro boxing in its veins and Ga. Tech
    is perfect for playing the part of Mike Tate in this drama...
    
    Big10 Tom

================================================================================
Note 200.3                  What Gives Wif Sports????                   3 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" 21 lines  30-MAR-1990 12:30
                                 -< Capacity >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .1
    
    Whaddya mean.
    
    I'm proud that the Big10 was able to win a game placing one team
    in this year's especially paritied tourney.  I'm NOT proud of the
    stupid incompetent and perhaps crooked game-stealing non-call by
    the ref at the Michigan State game.  
    
    Those kinds of mistakes don't go both ways, and they don't even
    up.  Wierdly for Jud, this is two years in a row he's been royally
    screwed.  A homeboy triggerman on the clock in Kansas City is one
    thing, but a ref who allows a basket when the guy was just beginning
    his shot when the buzzer sounded... that's flat theft of the kind
    seen in the game once or twice a decade.  
    
    Another good reason at least to despise that unbroken-clock-fixing
    3 point rule; but also a good reason to speculate on whether the
    ref is capable of what BC and NC Skate were capable of.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.59                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  59 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"          5 lines   4-APR-1990 10:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dick's lurid bizzaro world Field of Creams makes me realize - after
    a hard week of being thumped by noters wearing State Patrol mindsets -
    that human potential has barely even been tapped.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.64                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  64 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         10 lines   4-APR-1990 11:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >The collective creativity that exists... from... to Onan Dan...
    
    I'm sorry.  Violation here.  You mentioned "creativity" and "Dan"
    in the same sentence without a_interceding negative and that's just
    plain wrong, my friend.  WRONG.  
    
    Unless, of course, you were referring to all the "facks" he likes
    to create on certain subjects.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.67                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  67 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         13 lines   4-APR-1990 12:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yes yes, I see what you mean then: When Dan "goes off" into one
    of his otiose oneiric obfuscations, he's actually "mocking himself"
    with absurdist tenor and a deep sense of self-deprecating irony -
    all meant to sacrifice any last shreds of dignity and self-respect 
    in order to create a form of temporal artistic expression that best
    fits the noting medium (i.e., a fast-moving arena of words seldom
    followed up much less checked for consistency or accuracy).
                                       
    Damn.  I respeck him so much more now.  What a boner I pulled!  All
    the while I had him pegged as a fork-tongued argumentative egonmaniac
    when in Reality he's a sensitive artist type!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.68                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  68 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"         14 lines   4-APR-1990 12:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Dan specializes in facts and logical analysis.
    
    Watch it.  Two things: First we were discussing you Master's penchant
    for flights of fancy, his fibs.  For instance, claiming that a guy
    with 1 in 30 is better than another with 3 in 19 and oh by the way
    a better tournament winning percentage.  Second: Now that Dan has
    been rehabilitated as a master not of sports analysis but of sports
    satire you're left alone as the one who was forced to make a_abject
    and haggard confession to contest fixing.
    
    In other words, you don't deserve Dan, we do (cuz he lances his poon
    at our analytical altar).
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.70                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  70 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR!"          9 lines   4-APR-1990 12:25
                               -< Siskel & MrT >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >the Zamfir Prison Tour
    
    Doggone it I knew when we started talking fibs prison talk would
    pop up.  I cain dig that.  For instance, personally my favorite genre
    of the cinematic arts is women's prison movies.  I refer, but of
    course, to the definitive classic "Caged Heat."  This was a movie
    with power, pathos, and plenty of womanity.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.80                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  80 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"           9 lines   4-APR-1990 12:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cybil Danning?  Whaddya, crazy.  Caged Heat is the type of movies
    where the actresses were probably paid by the hour, and anyway as
    far as class we're talking bruises, hairy moles, and of course 
    the dread stretch marks.  But I'll tellya, being somewhat of a 
    connoissuer myself I see things things as part and parcel of the
    rich tableau of cinema verite and they only add color and realism
    to the all-important shower scenes...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.85                 What Gives Wif Sports????                  85 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"           7 lines   4-APR-1990 13:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Speaking a the hot gals in Caged Heat, anybody notice the Running
    Rabble cheerleaders?  Anybody ever been on Ninth Avenue north of
    the Lincoln Tunnel at about midnight?
    
    Haa.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.116                What Gives Wif Sports????                 116 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 10 lines   5-APR-1990 14:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Don't you guys DARE even think about making fun a broomball!
    
    8^(
    
    This is a great game.  They play it under the lights every night
    right in the middle of Minnesota's campus, uniformed intramural
    highly competitive.  You should see the specialized equipment these
    guys use (shoes, etc.).
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.147                What Gives Wif Sports????                 147 of 165
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          14 lines   6-APR-1990 14:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Speaking a which, Chainsaw, you should see the cover photo Twin
    Cities Magazine this month.  It's of Walter Mondale's daughter.
    She bears a striking resemblance to Kelly Bundy, except she has
    blonder blonde hair, fuller lips, bluer eyes, and a more sumptuous 
    rack.  Oh, she's a_honor student too.
    
    I had some serious explaining to do to my wife about why I had 
    this magazine hidden under the mattress.  I told her it was cuz I was 
    looking into where to take her out to eat, but I was kinda lying about 
    who I was gonna take out and what was gonna get ate [sic].
    
    She ate it up.
    
    MrT           
================================================================================
Note 200.155                What Gives Wif Sports????                 155 of 165
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            16 lines  11-APR-1990 15:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    It's regrettable the way people feel the need to attack a_innocent
    Pantheon-dweller.  I guess they're angered and frightened by His
    greatness, much as miscreant adolescents might besmirch a statue of 
    the Madonna standing before a church.
    
    No, I don't have a_inflatable Bob.  What I have is goose bumps from
    the highs He gave me, swelled pride from the honor He brought me,
    understanding from the revelations He made before me, and scales that
    fell from mine eyes when I looked up at ol' Assembly Hall and was 
    blinded by all those big shimmering red flags.
    
    Bob has no ego, much as I have none.  It is YOU hecklers who're driven
    by cowering conceits thrown into the Bonfire of the Vanities  :^( ...
    
    MrT
    
================================================================================
Note 200.159                What Gives Wif Sports????                 159 of 165
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              5 lines  12-APR-1990 10:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T sounds... like... Rush Linbaugh 
    
    You really know how to hurt a man.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 200.161                What Gives Wif Sports????                 161 of 165
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              6 lines  16-APR-1990 10:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    > with my 20-foot pole!
    >Denny
    
    Of course, both the doll and the pole come in 1/24th scale.
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 206.0                        Sports Theory                      302 replies
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst"  9 lines   5-APR-1990 15:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This note is for serious discussion only of sports theory.  Sports
    Theory being game mechanics from the spectating standpoint.  This
    would include addressing such questions as the effect of rules on
    interest, complexity, nuance, and integrity, and broader subject
    such as comparative sports.
    
    Profundity only here.  No REK-style "my wife bought a dog" drivel.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.2                        Sports Theory                         2 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 13 lines   5-APR-1990 15:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .1
    
    Please DELETE this entry at once!
    
    That's not a theoretical question at all.  Why cain't you ever be
    serious Cowboy?  Always yukking it up, eh smart aleck.
    
    No, the who's "gonna win the pennant?" is not a Quality Mechanics
    question.  Hell, it's not even quirky much less quarky.
    
    Delete this entry now.
    
    MrT - Sports Theory Moderator
================================================================================
Note 206.5                        Sports Theory                         5 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 29 lines   5-APR-1990 15:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Sorry, T, I didn't see the restrictive sign.
    
    That's ok Cowboy.  I forgive you.
    
    I'll start the theoretical discussion:
    
    		
    
    		What makes a sport exciting?
    
    
    
    How exciting a sport is is under constant discussion, especially
    as regards proposed or recently made rules changes.  For instance,
    a dufus sports anchorperson might say, "people love offense, therefore
    the 3-point basket rule is exciting."
    
    I define sports excitement as a blend of three things: 
    
    	1. Level of stress.  
    	2. Level of attractive complexity.
    	3. Level of significance.
    
    Now, that being said obviously I don't be the airheaded explanation
    of why the 3-point rule is supposedly good.  
    
    And, as for the Designated Geek rule...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.17                       Sports Theory                        17 of 302
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 49 lines   6-APR-1990 08:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    - Level of stress 
      
    The physical stress to the athlete is irrelevant to this discussion.
    What counts is how excited a sport makes those spectating it.
    
    To illustrate, auto racing is probably the most physcially stressful
    sport to the athletes; but level of driver effort is only a small
    consideration to a fan watching a race.
    
    - Level of attractive complexity
    
    I'm not talking about how difficult jargon is to understand; I'm
    talking about how many if-then chains are likely to play through
    a fan's mind during a game.  
    
    It's possible that all the NFL's militarist jargon is unattractive.
    I don't think football cain be simplified much.  The game is rules
    intensive cuz it's the most violent game on earth.  Most of the
    rules of football are there to prevent physical injury.  
    
    Here's a hypothesis: 
                                           
    The more if-then speculation chains a sport makes possible the more 
    stable and loyal its fan base through time (i.e., substance over style).
    
    - Level of significance
       
    Obviously big games are more significant than, say, exhibition games,
    and therefore have a higher excitment quotient, but that's not what
    I refer to at all.  By significance I mean how a_event within a
    game imprints itself on the spectators memory, how it provokes him.
    
    For instance, two batters hit the same home run.  One is a fat waddling
    40 year old Designated Geek.  He hits his in the 3rd inning with
    nobody on by just waddling up to the plate, burping, scracthing
    his now seldom-used scrotum, and hacking away at the ball.  The other 
    is a new shortstop who's been lifting weights.  He fouls off 8 pitches 
    until he gets the one he wants.  He hits his dinger on a run and hit 
    that distracted the hurler during his delivery.  The homer was hit while
    a run down with two out in the bottom of the 9th to win the game.
    
    Here's a hypothesis:
    
    Which is more exciting?  Surely the latter event.  What would make
    baseball a more exciting game?  Surely trying to increase the frequency
    of the latter type event even if at the expense of the so-so former
    type event.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.19                       Sports Theory                        19 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analys" 267 lines   6-APR-1990 10:53
                          -< Example Sports Thesis  >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Below I've entered, without the author's permission, a_example of solid
    sports theorizing.  In this case, we have the inimitable glenn addressing
    the Designated Geek from the "attractive complexity" metric.
    
    You might remember that Dan-the-Standard Deviant chased me around for 
    months last year bellowing that he had some standard deviation numbers
    drummed up by Bill James and that unless I countered in kind I was evading
    the core issue of whether or not the Geek was a good thing for the game.
    
    You'll also remember that I countered on a higher plane, noting that
    James' deviations were bad measurements taken of the wrong things.
    
    Well, that scenario got going again over in the segregated Baseball
    notesfile and glenn took Dan-the-Standard Deviant up on his challenge
    to review the Jamesian measurements on their own terms.  
    
    If you read this you'll see a_effective treatment of a theoretical
    sports hypothesis.  You'll also see James' assertion on the central
    importance of the "unusualness" of managerial game moves to be the 
    stupid argument it is.
    
    MrT
     
    
________________________________________________________________________________
Note 49.110                  Designated Hitter (DH)                   110 of 117
NAC::G_WAUGAMAN                                     160 lines  22-JAN-1990 10:45
              -< Thesis: DH strategy and the Standard Deviation >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I understand fully that the whole DH argument pretty much boils 
       	down to whether or not one can enjoy watching a pitcher attempt to 
	hit and evaluating all the decisions (real or imagined) associated 
	with that act.  In this regard, one's opinion toward what suits 
	his tastes is as valid as anyone's else.  With that in mind, I 
	thought I would address the supposed "proof" that Bill James, 
	among others, has offered showing that the DH has actually 
	increased, not decreased, strategy.  I think the proof is suspect.

	James supports his claim by looking at team strategies in three 
	areas: bunting, pinch hitting, and bullpen use (as reflected in
	complete game totals).  He uses, as we all probably could have 
	guessed from the preceding discussions, the standard deviation to 
	look for a variance in opinion between managers in each league, 
	and therefore the presence of real "strategy" in the disciplines
	mentioned.


	First, bunting.  Without question, since the inception of the DH 
	in the AL, frequency of the sacrifice bunt has dropped 
	significantly.  James argues that this has caused the bunt to be 
	used only for strategic reasons in the AL, eliminating all of 
	those "by rote" pitcher-bunt decisions in the NL.  Does the 
	standard deviation between team sacrifice totals show this?  Well, 
	when James performed the analysis after 1986, the S.D. in the NL 
	had been higher, even with all those forced moves due to the 
	pitcher, in 8 of the 14 years since the DH's birth.  But, as 
	statistical analysts are wont to do when they're out to prove a 
	point, James throws out the first four years of the DH (all S.D. 
	highs for the NL), pointing out that the S.D. has now been higher 
	in the AL in 6 of the past 10 years, 1977-86 (as if that in itself 
	would be incontrovertible proof).  

	His reasons for excluding the first years?  As he explains, when 
	AL managers were deprived of their ordinary bunting situations, 
	they stopped bunting over those first few years.  Sounds 
	reasonable, but actually the opposite is true.  In those first 
	four years, AL managers averaged 61.5 sacrifices/season, but in 
	the recent years between 1983-88, as offense has increased for 
	reasons beyond the DH (dilution of pitching talent, better 
	recruitment of hitters than the NL) execution of the sac has 
	dropped to only 46.0 per AL team.  Apparently James chooses to 
	ignore his own data.  Then, just for fun, I calculated the S.D. 
	for the years 1987-88, and, you guessed it, the NL again came out 
	on top in each of those years, making it 10 of 16 years that the 
	NL supposedly made more "strategic" use of the sac bunt.


	I have serious doubts about use of the standard deviation anyway.  
	What does it really prove?  Yes, it proves that the sac bunt 
	varies in use across a league.  But so what?  Does that mean 
	increased strategy?  If an American League manager chooses to sit 
	on his duff, ignoring the bunt, the steal, the hit-and-run, 
	letting the nine he pencilled in bat around (read: traditional 
	offensive strategy of the Boston Red Sox), while the Billy Martins 
	of the world actually make something happen with the talent 
	they've been dealt, even in a fairly uniform line-up, does that 
	represent more strategy across the league?  That's what the 
	standard deviation says.  But the decreasing average bunt totals
	in the AL since 1980 tell me that there really are fewer teams in 
	the AL executing these plays, as a logical by-product of increased 
	hitting offense, regardless of what the deceptive standard 
	deviation says.  I don't call that strategy.


	Next, pinch hitting.  Here the standard deviation does 
	conclusively show a wider variance in pinch hitting across the AL 
	versus the NL, so at least the statistics haven't been mangled.  
	But, due to the DH, the pinch hitter has become twice as common in 
	the NL as the AL, and the gap has widened in the 80's.  In the 
	last year of James' data (1986), the average AL team used 0.75 
	pinch hitters per game, compared with 1.77 for the NL.  While some
	AL managers use a pinch hitter as little as every 3-4 games, 
	driving up the S.D. and supposed "strategy", the NL manager is 
	always required to have his PH's at the ready.  While many of 
	these deployments may themselves be "forced", they do require the 
	development of a full 24 (or 25) man roster, and wise use of that 
	roster over the course of a game.  (The issue is not *how many* 
	pinch hitters will I use, but *when*?  *When* do I use my number
	one pinch hitter?) The statistics show that in the AL those men on 
	the bench, while in theory available for more strategic purposes 
	than hitting for a pitcher, are rarely used by most teams.  Even 
	if the moves are forced, I prefer to see at the very least the 
	strategy around roster manipulation than making the 24th man 
	nothing more than the answer to a trivia question.


	Lastly, bullpen use.  Again, sorry, but more of James' mangled 
	statistics here.  While everybody knows that complete games are 
	more infrequent in the NL than the AL, they are in fact so much 
	less common that they make the standard deviation unusable for 
	fair comparisons.  How far can you deviate from an average team 
	CG total of only 19, the league average in both 1984 and 1986 in 
	the NL?  For the years James presents from 1973-86, where the AL 
	S.D. was higher in 11 of 14 years due to a significantly higher 
	basis, I calculated the ratio of the S.D to the average for each 
	league.  The S.D. was larger percentage-wise (relative to complete 
	game average) in the NL in 8 of 14 years again.

	But, as with the bunt, who cares?  The statistic, even while 
	misused, is meaningless.  The complete game is much more a 
	function of the relative strength between starting staff and 
	bullpen than of strategy.  Since 1973, complete games have been 
	cut in half in *both* leagues, due to increased emphasis on the 
	bullpen.  Strategy is invoked in the decision *when*, not *if*, to 
	lift the starter.  If anyone has the time, or the resources, to 
	calculate the standard deviation of the inning in which starters 
	are removed in each league, be my guest.  *That* would be 
	meaningful, I think it would show a greater variance in the NL.  
	But as it stands, just as with pinch hitters, the NL team's 
	bullpen must be deeper and used with more care, even if the moves 
	*are* (still unproven) forced by rote.


	Let me also note that the use of the stolen base and hit-and-run
	are aspects of strategy affected by the DH and (as far as I know) 
	unevaluated by the statisticians (with respect to the DH).  These 
	strategies are more common in the NL and are commonly assumed to 
	be solely the result of artificial turf and bigger parks.  But, 
	because of the pitcher's presence in the line-up and the 
	consequential reduction in offense (i.e. the lower cost of an out 
	in the NL), those strategies become even more attractive than in 
	the AL.  The history of baseball has proven the relationship 
	between the cost of an out and the popularity of the running game 
	many times over, even before the phony stuff came along.


	So we have seen that in two of the three cases designed to "prove" 
	the existence of more strategy with the DH than without, any 
	difference in a properly-applied standard deviation is purely 
	imagined.  In a single case, the complete game total, where the  
	S.D. is erroneously applied without regard to basis size, little 
	if any strategy relating to the DH is present anyhow.  And in 
	*all* cases, where a rule change has relegated certain elements of 
	the game to freak occurences, yet supposedly meeting with a 
	greater "difference of opinion" (unproven), no attention is paid 
	to the contributions of external variables, now de-emphasized by 
	the DH, to the higher (sometimes) S.D.: bench strength, bullpen 
	depth, team hitting ability, team speed, and perhaps most 
	importantly (and what anti-DH'ers have argued all along) 
	managerial calculation and alertness.  A baseball world in which 
	such statistics can be construed as proof of increased strategy 
	*with* the DH is truly an upside-down one.


	The *theory* that the DH increases strategy isn't necessarily a 
	bad one, it just hasn't been born out by the statistics.  What has
	been proven is that the increased offense due to losing the 
	pitcher has most definitely lessened the use of the sacrifice, 
	player substitution, and to a lesser extent the running game.  
	Because the temporary offensive deficiency of the AL at the time 
	of the DH's inception has long since been corrected, the gap 
	between the leagues in the use of these strategies has *widened*.
	(Personal opinion follows.)  My eyes, in no way contradicted by 
	statistics, tell me that's a bad thing.


	glenn

              <<< ASABET::ASAB11:[NOTES$LIBRARY]BASEBALL.NOTE;2 >>>
                                 -< BASEBALL >-
================================================================================
Note 49.112                  Designated Hitter (DH)                   112 of 117
NAC::G_WAUGAMAN                                      61 lines  23-JAN-1990 09:46
                       -< Also shows up in stolen bases >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    > There isn't a theory that the DH increases strategy.
    
    That was the title of James' article.  "DH Increases Strategy".  I
    thought since you referenced James in here you were leaning that way.  
    No matter.  I understand that merely counting the number of 
    occurrences of an event is not a sufficient measure of strategy.  I
    objected to the conclusions James was coming to, which were largely 
    unsupported by his own data. 
    
    > We've gone from, "We sacrifice the pitcher almost automatically because
    > he hits like my grandmother" to "We sacrifice more because the pitcher
    > hits like my grandmother and there's bunch of other guys who hit like
    > my grandfather".
    
    Only in the last couple of years has this been the case.  See below.
    
    
    > Remember what Earl used to say about the sacrifice.
    
    I know which game Earl preferred.  But when he was saddled with some
    mediocre offensive teams in the mid-70's, he used the sacrifice and 
    the stolen base as much as anyone.  That's just the sign of a good 
    manager.
    
    I went back and checked to see any possible effects of the DH on the
    running game, which is an important quantifiable element of strategy
    not covered by James.  I think it's a little easier to look at stolen 
    base attempts and draw conclusions, because I've never heard anyone 
    complain about "forced" or "rote" stolen base situations, although 
    certainly some situations are more obvious than others.  The number 
    of steals, as opposed to sacrifices or pinch hitters, can therefore 
    be better used as a measure of strategy.  It turns out that the AL
    owned the stolen base, due to their offensive shortcomings, from the
    late 60's to the late 70's, even with the DH *and* the artificial turf
    parks of the NL.  In 1976, the AL was averaging 213 SB/team, the NL
    170.  After expansion in 1977, AL offense finally bounced back to
    normal (and has not fallen back to early-DH levels since), and stolen 
    base attempts dropped for six straight years before leveling off.  In
    the post-strike years 1982-1989, the NL has averaged 210 attempts/team,
    the AL only 160.  This is also coincident with the drop in sacrifices I
    showed earlier, and is undeniably due to increased offense in the AL.
    
    There is no proof of a drop in strategy, but there is proof that
    increased offense has lessened the use of the supposed strategic
    elements.  Again, it depends on what game you prefer.   I happen to
    think that the AL is at an artificially high offensive level.  The
    cumulative AL batting average since expansion is .263; the NL league
    batting average hasn't been as high as .263 since *1954*.  And in spite
    of the past two years, in which the NL has hit its lowest levels since
    1967-68, the NL hasn't lacked for offensive talent in that time period.
    It is certain that whatever conditions existed at the inception of the
    DH (I still contest that it was a *temporary* hitting shortage, as the
    AL was doing everything it could, including stealing bases, to generate
    offense) have long since passed.  The DH must now be evaluated strictly
    on its own merits, and since the AL is now once again the hitting
    league for reasons beyond the DH, I don't like what it's done to the
    game.
    
    glenn

================================================================================
Note 206.20                       Sports Theory                        20 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 42 lines   6-APR-1990 11:10
                          -< hoops example this time >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I created this note in order to provide a place to debunk assumptions.
    
    Always be suspicious of assumptions, especially very large assumptions.
    For example, one of the biggest assumptions in American society today
    is that the we have a 2 party system, and that the Republicans are 
    conservatives.   Well, if you drop that assumption and examine it 
    critically, you cain make a helluva case that we have a one part system
    with two wings representing 5 percent of the people, and that the
    so-called "conservatives" are actually technology-thumping radicals
    (e.g., going form world's largest creditor to world's largest debtor
    is not "conserving" the status quo by any means).
    
    Similar assumptions cain be debunked, by use of critical theory, in
    sport also.
    
    Again a_example: "Fans like offense."
    
    I've heard this, ooooh, maybe 12,894 times in my life, but I don't
    think I've ever heard it challenged once.  
    
    I've also heard things like the 3-point basket rule justified using
    this assumption.  But wait!  3-point baskets don't involve any additional
    scoring, only a 1/3 larger point award.  So shouldn't it then be said
    in this case that "fans like different types of scoring and higher point
    totals."
    
    And that falls within the Attractive Complexity category, for all the
    3-point basket rule really did was complicate the scoring.  
    
    Now, examining this rule further, we find that it violates one of the
    most basic sport design rules: Reward good play; punish poor play.  The
    3-point rule, indeed, rewards poor play cuz the longer shot distances
    means that a much higher percentage of rebounders who have poor floor
    position (i.e., boxed out) now get offensive rebounds.
    
    And this finding of necessity brings up the word "cheapen," for it's
    a rich thing to see Moses Malone work his feet and body nonstop in
    order to grab a_offensive board; it's dirt cheap to see a guy on the 
    offensive team standing 18 feet from the hoop catching his breath have 
    the ball *boing* all the way out into his arms.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.25                       Sports Theory                        25 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 34 lines   6-APR-1990 13:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >entire point of any offensive strategy, namely, scoring.
    
    That misses the point.  The GOAL of offensive strategy is to score,
    but the PROCESS of managing to do that has been watered down.  Used
    to be you ran plays extra careful [sic] to catch up.  Each possession
    was magnified.  Each failed trip down the court was magnified as time
    ran out.
    
    Nowadays, cuz of the 3-point rule, the name of the game is "bombs away"
    and let's see what happens.  
    
    Now, on a theoretical level the argument is quite strong that the
    3-point basket violates two sport desging rules:
    
    1. It rewards the poor play of offensive rebounders.
    2. While it complicates the scorekeeping scheme it seems to have caused
       a widespread trend that simplifies offensive strategy to the point of 
       rote uniformity.
    
    As Bob Hunt sez, 'Nova's spectacular shooting against Gougetown was
    sublime cuz they played a_absolutely optimized game, maybe one of the 
    most optimized of all time.  As the game went on and the shooting
    percentage stayed up there, one was awed by the brilliant passing, 
    play execution, shot selection, and shooting.
    
    Compare that to the kind of comebacks seen nowadays.  Shoot treys like
    hell and hope for the best and oh by the way you'll get a lotta
    offensive boards you never got before cuz no longer do you have to
    fight like hell for position (and sacrifice a bit of defensive postion
    against the fast break going the other way) in order to get a_o bound,
    something that used to be considered a precious commodity and
    a_accomplishment.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.26                       Sports Theory                        26 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 11 lines   6-APR-1990 13:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Going back to the original point, nowhere have I ever seen the
    slightest explanation as to why the widely-held assumption that
    "fans like offense."
    
    Everybody seems to accept it as a truism, but how do we know it's
    true?
    
    It ain't true in hockey, where fans more often find themselves yapping
    about a_awesome goaltending performance than hat tricks. 
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.32                       Sports Theory                        32 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Big10: Conference of the 80s"   14 lines   6-APR-1990 13:43
                   -< whetstone benchmark sharpened up here >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I know baseball purists will probably try to slip into my bedroom
    >tonight and slit my throat, but I can conceive of nothing as boring as
    >WATCHING a 1-0 no hitter...
    
    I'm no purist, MJ, but could you mail me your address off-line please?
    
    Btw, I take this as a tacit admission that you don't particularly 
    understand or care for the Nation's Pasttime, for the game of baseball
    and most of it's activity (whether mental or physical) revolves around
    the pitcher-batter confrontation, and in a 1-0 no hitter there would be
    more of both types than in your typical ALmost League 9-7 bore fest.
    
    MrT
    
================================================================================
Note 206.34                       Sports Theory                        34 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          24 lines   6-APR-1990 14:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Defense is just about everything in the low-scoring sports like
    >hockey and soccer
    
    I don't buy that.  Again, to me what makes a sport good is being
    exciting and interesting, which means near scores (as a_amateur
    grammarian I ain't gonna say "near miss") and blown opportunities
    are a big part of the game.
    
    A third period slapshot off the pipe leaves hearts pumping.  A
    striker loose in front of the goalie who fails to get the ball in the
    net will be talked about for weeks.  A hurler who dominates batters
    with his commanding stuff is on SportsCenter first thing that night.
    
    So then why does everybody automatically accept the premise that
    "fans like offense, therefore artificially designing more offense
    into a game will be well received by them."
    
    For that matter, *football* is a defensive sport, and it's wildly
    popular.  Take a 28-14 game.  How many scores were there in reality?
    Excluding the automatic extra points, you had a 4-2 game.  And fans
    luv it, significant in light of the relative paucity of near scores
    on the gridiron in comparison to, say, hockey.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.47                       Sports Theory                        47 of 302
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony SIR"          23 lines   9-APR-1990 08:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >it is difficult to get excited about every play as one pitch looks 
    >like another until one comes along that gets smacked somewhere or 
    >there is a replay to explain.
    
    Each pitch has entirely unique context and quality within a game.
    A good baseball announcer (or fan), take Tim McCarver for instance,
    analyzes each pitch both before (guess the pitch) and after (explain
    the pitch).  Beyond that, the batter's approach (he's guessing too)
    adds a_additional dimension to the equation.  Not to mention the 
    fielders' positions and, in the National League at least, then the
    manager's direct involvement adds yet a *deeper* dimension.
    
    This takes place regardless of whether there's a hit or not.  And,
    despite the claims made by various dufi to the opposite, many non-hits
    are quite action-packed (Kirby Puckett robs hitter of HR by getting 
    glove over wall = out).
    
    re .36
    
    Mike, how in the world cain you claim that the bulk of action in a
    baseball game doesn't take place between the pitcher-batter confrontation? 
                                                           
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.48                       Sports Theory                        48 of 302
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 22 lines   9-APR-1990 08:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    1. Level of stress.
    2. Level of attractive complexity.
    3. Level of significance.
    
    Hmmm.  I think it's fair to say that most everything is significant
    in baseball, which is what makes it such a rich sport.
    
    But what about a_impoverished sport, a declining sport?
    
    Let's talk basketball.  As mentioned before, there are certain
    unwritten sport design rules out there (reward good play; punish poor
    play).  Another might be: Let the participants (which would include
    coaches) determine the outcome.
    
    Obviously, hoops falls down bad [sic] on this count, for the rules
    are quite arbitrary and their full enforcement impossible.  It is my
    belief that no sport EVER has so many outcomes determined by officials,
    whether by way of bad calls, non-calls, make-up calls, or whatever.
    
    Not only is basketball officiating shaky by nature, it's intrusive.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.51                       Sports Theory                        51 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 10 lines  10-APR-1990 07:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >There is not such thing as sports theory.  Each action in any sport
    >requires a totally different movement, action, reaction of each
    >moving object.
    
    Haa.  I nominate this for Note of the Year!
    
    Hey REK, for the next trick cain you please bark like your wife's 
    dog?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.53                       Sports Theory                        53 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 31 lines  10-APR-1990 08:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Who cares, Cowboy?
    
    This note is about game mechanics, not game, or even season, outcomes.
    That REK checked in to deny the existence of game structure, mechanics,
    and form, and to assert his Atomic Theory of Sport, only makes these 
    highbrow considerations even more ineluctable:
    
    	Repetitiveness
    
    Repetitiveness is widely considered a bad thing in sport, something
    decried when seen, but on the whole something that cain't be avoided.
    Baseball - the King of Sports - has the pitcher and catcher playing
    catch.  Basketball (my bumper sticker reads: "Don't NBAnalize MBL!")
    has the same boring routine too-easy "spectacular" slam dunks and ho
    hum unchallenged jump shots.  Hockey has its "dump and dig" woes and
    soccer gets stuck in the middle of the field and motor racing its runaway 
    two lap victories.
    
    So, what relieves repetitiveness.  What imbues a game with a_interesting
    "landscape" of notable events and trends - independent of close contests
    and spectacular individual performances?
    
    	- different modes of scores/near scores
    	- variegation of playing styles
    	- variegation of players
    	- different game contexts or stages
    	- identifiable key moments
    	- level of event anticipation
    	- level of event interpretation
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.54                       Sports Theory                        54 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            16 lines  11-APR-1990 08:10
                                   -< Golf >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Which sport has the least repetitiveness?
    
    Golf.
    
    Each hole is of a different shape, with differing lengths, slopes, 
    landscapes, green sizes, traps, hazards, etc.  Each course is a 
    different montage of such distinct holes.  Then you have the changing
    conditions (wind, light, soil moisture, etc.) that further complicate
    things by variegation.
    
    So golf has to be the least repetitive sport there is.  Beautiful too.
    I'm not a golfer but I've never seen a golf course I didn't like looking
    at.  And the sport benefits from the utter lack of sameness that's built 
    in from the ground up.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.95                       Sports Theory                        95 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            19 lines  11-APR-1990 12:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Is car-racing [sic] a sport?
    
    Measurements have been taking of F1 pilots (using sensors and telemetry
    back to instruments in the pits) and have *supposedly* established that
    a full clip such a driver uses the most adrenaline, has the fastest
    heart rate, and loses the greatest percentage of body weight of all types  
    of athletes.
    
    Part of this is due to the gravities they pull (nowadays 4-5 Gs in the
    turns, 6-7 Gs braking), and part of it has to do with whizzing past 
    reinforced concrete in such a way that if something goes wrong you die.
    
    So, applying the JD's sport-as-exercise criterion, motor racing might 
    qualify as the King of Sports.
    
    Although I'm a big race fan, I don't buy the notion that the level of
    fitness/exertion defines sportiness.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.97                       Sports Theory                        97 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            14 lines  11-APR-1990 12:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >out-of-shape slobs can excel at (baseball)
    
    I think there's a misperception that baseball players are fat cuz of 
    the cut of baseball uniforms.  I met Reggie Jackson once and was
    shocked to see how thin (and short) he was.  Kirby Puckett looks 
    obese on TV but I've seen him in person and he just looks like one
    very strong dude - stubby, but no fat.
    
    One of the biggest frauds in the history of sports marketing hype is
    the claim that the "world's greatest athletes compete in the NBA."
    
    I wonder how Bill Cartwright would look in a White Sox uniform?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.100                      Sports Theory                       100 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            38 lines  11-APR-1990 12:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Is golf a sport?
    
    Definitely.  Just think of the precise mechanics required.  The 
    strategy, the gamesmanship, the superheated level of mano-a-mano
    competition (anybody out there forgotten the image of White Shark
    gagging during the sudden death playoff at last year's Masters?).
    
    Is marathoning a sport?
    
    No, it's exercise posing as sport.  It's competition, and I suppose
    one could argue the participants are fit (look like they're ready to
    croak to me), but when it comes right down to it's better described
    using a more honest term, jogging, and admitting that it's the last
    refuge of little skinny guys who couldn't cut it in the REAL high 
    school sports and so sought solace in jogging on the cross-country
    team.
    
    And think of the *mechanics* and *precision* involved: right foot,
    left foot, right foot, left foot... and the *complexity*: move arms
    in synch with right foot, left foot... and the drama: "he's catching
    up, he's not dying!, run faster!"
    
    So, you golfers needn't be ashamed of all the skills you've mastered.
    Next time you see one of the silly-ass jog-a-thons with all the heart
    attacks and death pallors pop a brewskie and understand that the only
    reason jogging is televised now is cuz there's so many people into 
    that form of exercise and that there are so many programming-hungry
    television outlets to pork it to them.
    
    The greatest moment in jogging?  Surely when President Carter almost
    died, I'm STILL laughing at the sight of him staggering, confused and
    lost, clutching his heart and gasping and groping and wandering between
    parked cars as the SS men in the sunglasses radioed for the heart doctor
    to hurry.
    
    Now *that* was a_unforgettable moment in sorts!  8^}
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.104                      Sports Theory                       104 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              1 line  11-APR-1990 13:21
                          -< Jeff got de Rhythym UGH >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 206.109                      Sports Theory                       109 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             6 lines  11-APR-1990 14:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    GIT him 'Caught !!
    
    The ultimate sport, then, certainly must be the Triathlon, where
    the participants beat their bodies to a pulp.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.116                      Sports Theory                       116 of 302
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            47 lines  11-APR-1990 15:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >huge budget deficits, Marine Corps expeditions, weapons deals
    >with the Iranians, major medical crises, equal rights progress, 
    >and a few others that The Gipper was obviously much more qualified
    >to handle.
    
    Hear! Hear!  
    
    You forgot to mention RayGun's other foibles: A terrorist war against
    Nicaraguan civilians, cocaine running, overturning the Constitution in
    the name of national security and cost effectiveness, and involving the
    secret police in electoral politics.
    
    Btw, don't be too harsh on the wizened lying old thief.  There's strong
    evidence (never investigated, of course) that the armed forces threw in
    with RayGun while Carter was still Prez and cut a deal with Khomeini to
    hold onto the hostages to assure his election in exchange for much needed
    weapons.  
    
    Ain't it a coincidence that the hostages were freed at the very same 
    moment the old liar was being sworn in?  Ain't it strange that a C-140
    transport crashed in the Turkish mountains soon after the election,
    full of spare parts being shipped to Iran? 
    
    Fast facks for ya:
    
    - The warehouse full of weapons in Grenada was actually only 1/5 full
      (the photographers waited for the US Army PR people to have it filled
      with weapons captured elsewhere on the island.
    
    - Reagan's "incontrovertable proof" that the German disco bombing was
      masterminded by the Khadaffi turned out to have never existed, which
      is why the French wisely refused to particpant in the lie by allowing
      the USAF to overfly their soil on their way to Tripoli.
    
    - Remember the pounds of cocaine seized in Noriega's freezer?  Turned
      out to be, of all things, tamale mix.
    
    Funny how our allegedly "liberal media" never find the time to follow
    up on these stories.
    
    What's this have to do with sports theory?  If the government had
    attempted to terminate the 4th amendment to lower crime it never woulda
    been allowed, too many diverse groups woulda squawked.  But, setting
    the precedent by assuring top performance for everybody's home team 
    worked to finally lay our constitutional right to privacy laid aside.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.123                      Sports Theory                       123 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             22 lines  12-APR-1990 07:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, in the physical sense it *does* pay to be in second in certain
    sports where wind is a factor (bicycling, motorcycling, car racing).
    
    But even that ain't so simple no more.  For instance, used to be that
    NASCAR stockers had so much engine that the ol' draft-then-slingshot
    maneuver was so reliable that being caught in first around the final
    corner almost certainly meant you were beat.  But nowadays with the
    restrictor plates this ain't necessarily so.  Also, with the high tech
    aerodynamics of race cars they seem more unnerved by "dirty air" felt
    following somebody.
    
    In the phsychological sense, I think what they're talking about is
    what passes through your mind when leading near the end: "Have I shot
    my wad, am I due for a letdown?"  One might feel the rabbit, and be
    overtaken by a sense of being chased, which would tend to take the 
    tough edge off the mental attitude down the home stretch.
    
    It's amazing how the success ratio of 2-minute drills seems to've gone
    up in the NFL of late.  But maybe that has more to do with rules
    changes than improved team concentration...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.129                      Sports Theory                       129 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             16 lines  12-APR-1990 09:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >rebut away buttheads.
    
    Well, I don't smoke cigs, but I *DO* smoke Macanudos, so I guess
    I qualify as a butthaid:
    
    The word "athlete" is losing its meaning.  Some think it purely
    denotes physical ability; others, myself among them, include
    game skill and mental capability in the definition.
    
    Suffice it to say that running requires less specific skill and mental
    input than quarterbacking a_NFL team.
    
    As a_illustration, take the decathlete.  I bet none of these guys cain
    hit a curve ball, so what the hell good are they?
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 206.133                      Sports Theory                       133 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             28 lines  12-APR-1990 10:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    3. Level of significance.
    
    Certain sports events are considered significant for their visual
    quality.  A slam-jam for example.
    
    But I say that the comparative sports approach debunks some of these
    so-called signicant events a more illusory than real.  A_example:
    
    	- Slam-jams are ridiculously easy for today's basketball players
          not only cuz of the too-low height of the hoop but also cuz
          in the NBA they no longer call travelling and palming (thus
          making it MUCH easier to drive to the hoop).
    
    	  So why is the slam-jam exalted?  Shouldn't knowledgeable hoops
          fans stifle yawns whenever they see one?  Isn't this exaltation
    	  a matter of style over substance, flash over cash?
    
    	- For something to be (substantively) spectacular to the savvy
          fan it should be difficult, and therefore rare.
    
    	- Hitting a HR in the majors is both.
    
    	- Slam-jams seem to be exalted every bit as much as HRs, which
    	  would seem to indicate that NBA fans are much less discerning
          and far more stupid than MBL fans.
    
    MrT
     
================================================================================
Note 206.141                      Sports Theory                       141 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           10 lines  12-APR-1990 13:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Also consider what goes into a_HR vs. a slam-jam.
    
    HR:		If big hitter, pitch selection, decision not to
    		intentionally walk.  Batter may risk SO in order
    		to pull.
    
    Slam-jam	N/A
    
    MrT  
    
================================================================================
Note 206.146                      Sports Theory                       146 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           14 lines  12-APR-1990 14:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Possible travel?
    
    Whoa sean?!  
    
    I was talking NBA, *not* basketball.  I don't believe travelling
    exists de facto in that NBAnal "sport," does it?
    
    re .145
    
    Equating HRs to slam-jams is a bit ridiculous: One is extremely
    difficult to do; the other is the preferred method of taking a high
    percentage shot cuz it is so easy.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.151                      Sports Theory                       151 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"            7 lines  12-APR-1990 14:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .149
    
    We're not talking about you.  We're talking about spectator sports.
    Although, now that I think of it, if I EVER got your ace on the
    blacktop or the gridiron I could guarantee quite a spectacle.  8^o
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.153                      Sports Theory                       153 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"          18 lines  13-APR-1990 10:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You posited no theory in .149.  You *did* manage to point out that 
    in some cases dunking a basketball is impossible where hitting a
    home run isn't.  But for the subject under discussion the opposite
    is true: Every NBA player, and virtually every college player, cain
    dunk easily; many MLB players cain't hit HRs at all and NOBODY is
    able to hit HRs easily.
    
    That people didn't dunk until starting about 20 years ago is
    irrelevant.  The only reason they didn't was that it wasn't allowed.
    
    HR are an end result, an accomplishment important to the game at hand; 
    a dunk is a process, an easy alternative, and is important only to
    television directors and dim-witted "basketball" fans.
    
    Your shabby note falls down on other points (what does it matter 
    what happens during pregame warmups?) but this is enough for now.
                                            
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.155                      Sports Theory                       155 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"          19 lines  13-APR-1990 11:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    So what?
    
    The intitial point here is that a dunk is widely regarded as
    spectacular, something difficult to do.  The NBA itself fosters
    this misimpression in its marketing.  Moreover, announcers and
    fans often go wild at the breakaway dunk, so apparently they've
    fallen prey to the marketing.
    
    I'm fairly familiar with the game of basketball, and while one
    isn't a dim-wit if he likes dunks, one *is* if he considers it 
    any kind of a_accomplishment.
    
    Dunks are nearly indefensible, especially in the NBA, where palming
    and travelling are allowed - especially by slam-jamming star players.
    
    It's like this: Dunks are very easy; HRs are very difficult.  HRs
    are significant; dunks are not.  This is the point.
    
    MrT 
================================================================================
Note 206.164                      Sports Theory                       164 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             24 lines  16-APR-1990 08:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A dunk is NOT an end result, per se.  No additional points are given 
    for one, and it's the easier alternative to the inside shot.  A layup
    or short jumper cain be blocked or changed MUCH easier than a dunk.
    Also, dunking has made possible moves heretofore not possible, cuz the
    shooter cain go into the hoop totally off balance knowing that the cain
    re-establish body control by grabbing the rim - thus leaving the general
    misimpression that something spectacular has taken place.  This is why
    the occasional missed dunk, too much balance has been lost and the
    player lets go of the ball a beat early to make sure he gets the rim.
    
    >There are NBA players, and college, players who couldn't even dunk in
    >practice.
    
    I've never in my life been aware of a college player who couldn't dunk,
    which is why I said "virtually."  As for the NBA, show me.
    
    >When I get a lobotomy, we can communicate better
    
    What type of insecurity forces you to persist in proclaiming how smart
    you allegedly are in comparison to others?  Did you get sand kicked in
    joe face as a youth; were you stuck with the prom date with the zits
    and flat ass?  Don't take it out on US, if you please?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.166                      Sports Theory                       166 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             17 lines  16-APR-1990 09:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Your thoughts?
    
    The team play sequences you mention fall more at the game comparison
    level.  A dunk or dinger is a way of scoring, with the comparison
    between the two being quite unfavorable for the lesser of the two
    sports.  That said, the three singles thing would, I suppose, be 
    compared to a series of passes and a backdoor play - except that
    scoring a hoops isn't difficult where scoring a run is. 
    
    In each type game you get a total of maybe 100 baskets scored against
    only 7 runs.  But baseball has a form of interim "scores" in the form
    of bases, where hoops is either/or.
    
    To answer your question, though: I'll take the team sequence over the
    HR any day.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.168                      Sports Theory                       168 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             11 lines  16-APR-1990 10:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >If you 'suppose' that a hit in the MLB is as easy as a pass in
    >the NBA...
    
    Do they keep dastisticks (tm) for completed passes in the NBA?
    
    >... then scoring a run is just as easy as scoring a hoop.
    
    Riggen, you out there?!  Go over to Stevie_boy's cube and grab
    'holt of him willya.  He's been chugging the Robitussin DM again.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.170                      Sports Theory                       170 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              3 lines  16-APR-1990 11:11
                           -< as in perfecta-mundo >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    That particular analogy is flawless.  
    
    MrT            
================================================================================
Note 206.172                      Sports Theory                       172 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           10 lines  16-APR-1990 12:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I never mentioned basketball passes, so you lose.
    
    Beyond that, it remains that completing a basketball pass (which for
    some wierd reason you're fixated on) is far easier to do than to hit
    major league pitching.  
    
    You shoulda knowed this already, Steven_boy, which means you're 
    probably not ready for Sports Theory yet.  Nice try, though.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.175                      Sports Theory                       175 of 302
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           15 lines  16-APR-1990 13:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Strategic content.
    
    How to measure this in various sports?  While tactics cain be introduced 
    to a game by a player, isn't it fair to say that the more being input
    from the bench the more there is in the game?  [yes]
    
    So, here're my short-list strategic content ratings by team sport:
    
    1. NL baseball
    2. NFL football
    3. AL baseball
    4. College football
    5. College basketball
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.180                      Sports Theory                       180 of 302
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           44 lines  17-APR-1990 10:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >I used *your* analogy
    
    No you didn't, you abused it.  The simple fack remains that completing
    a series of passes is NOT as difficult as getting 10 straight base hits.
    No records are kept on passes, but I'd say it's thousands of times less
    difficult.
    
    >lost in Norfolk
    
    It gives me Fountainhaid-style thigh-shuddering pleasure to see you 
    gnawing, relentlessly, on my Norfolk faux pas, a paltry specimen for
    the extensive industrial use you're putting it given that it was only
    tangential to the point being made at the time.  And Bob-the-Hunter,
    you lecturing on nice guyism is like Ron Reagan lecturing on intellectual
    honesty (it's beside the point altogether).
    
    >T, just because your...
    
    Item: When one cain't effectively debate either cuz he has not basis in
    fact or theory, or cuz he cain't cut it rhetorically, or, as in this case, 
    both, then the first stunt he'll pull every time is to personalize the
    issue.
    
    >moving in three planes of space at once...
    
    Robitussin abuse is a horrific thing.  Hey Doc QuackFright, before you
    get nailed for running a crooked analysis lab get a pair of glasses and
    turn on one a them crummy NBAnalization games and please notice the 
    success ratio on these "amazing" "athletic" feats.  Then get back to me
    with your retraction.  
    
    The dunk, in a pro or college or high school or even good street game, 
    is unto itself a_easy maneuver.  In a_NBA "game," against NBA "defense,"
    they are *still* routine cuz travelling and palming rules fell by the
    wayside in that sorry league years back, and cuz, once the dunker gains
    the requisite path through airspace, the defenders will lay back a bit
    with the body and hands cuz it's nearly impossible to block without 
    fouling.
    
    And, as mentioned before, the jump/land maneuver is aided by yet another
    facilitating rule that allows one to grab the rim and re-establish body
    control and timing.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.184                      Sports Theory                       184 of 302
ITASCA::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           29 lines  17-APR-1990 13:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >  If you 'suppose' that a hit in MLB is as easy as a pass in the
    >NBA, then scoring a run is just as easy as scoring a hoop.
    
    THIS is why I continue saying it, *Steven*_boy.  You come in the
    back door cudgeling away about bad analogies when indeed you were
    the one who veered off into the ditch of bad thinking, pas moi.
    
    Must I be the one to apologize for the threadbare thinking that went
    into the ridiculous piece quoted above?  No, and nor must I apologize
    for a_analogy I never made.
    
    re: Bob-the-Inhuman-Human-Hunter
    
    To put me in a glass house, first you must document me in a_inconsistency 
    that's both intentional and of significant proportion, and you've never
    done that.  Instead, you're left pecking away at a beside-the-point error,
    which you've gone on to embellish as proof that I'm unfamiliar with my
    geography (I'm not).  Hey, I know enough geography to know where to go
    if I wanna find upside down priorities and racists so brazen as to nod
    their haids with paternalistic satisfaction at unpunished basketball riots.
                    
    Keep working the Norfolk thing, Haid-Hunt, for such paltry textual meals
    is all you'll get at this table.
    
    re: Dr. Midnight
    
    Stung, he again disappears into ignominious ignorance.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.209                      Sports Theory                       209 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             19 lines  19-APR-1990 09:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Way to go, "Wrong Way" ...
    
    He started it, Human-Hunt.  And at least Steven_boy ain't getting
    personal, which of late you, the King of the Finger Pointers, seem
    to've taken up as a specialty.  
    
    re: Midnight
    
    You just don't get it, do ya?  The critical analysis of the boring
    slam-jam was done according to Hoyle, where MrH sez "analyze games
    in a comparative fashion on a mechanical level from the standpoint
    of their spectator value."  True, Dan came in and confessed that he
    cain't dunk, but the price of bread wasn't at issue here.  
    
    The question is whether or not dunking is difficult for pro and 
    college players.  We know that it isn't, and so its spectactive [sic]
    value is therefore objectively diminished.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.211                      Sports Theory                       211 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             32 lines  19-APR-1990 10:31
                         -< ok, the mystery's solved >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >That said, the three singles thing would, I suppose, be compared
    >to a series of passes and a backdoor play - except that scoring
    >a hoops [sic] isn't difficult where scoring a run is.
    
    What we have here is poor beleagured MrT making a comparison between
    typical sequences of play in baseball and basketball.  The comparison
    made (by this admirable victim of Steven_boy's pugnacious pressure) is
    one that points out that there is NOT a_equivalency.  No.  Not.  Nope.
    Uh uh.  Even appended a_exception onto the end of it to drive home the
    point that a hoop and a hit are NOT (no no no no no!) analogous.  
    
    Yes, admittedly, MrT ran a_analog, but only to show it as one that 
    doesn't work.  To intentionally draw a bad comparison is not to draw
    a bad conclusion.
    
    Speaking a bad conclusions, here's Steven_boy's "interpretation" of what
    I either did or did not say:
    
    >If you 'suppose' that a hit in MLB is as easy as a pass in the NBA,
    >then scoring a run is just as easy as scoring a hoop.
    
    I wouldn't EVER make such a knuckhaided supposition.  I compared a hoop
    unfavorably to a hit.  Nowhere did I compare a basketball pass with 
    anything.  
    
    Steven did though.  Shame on him.  Pugnacity is ok I guess (if you're
    into that) but roundhouses that catch only air are funny.  That's it:
    
    				Air_Steven_boy
    
    MrT
             
================================================================================
Note 206.213                      Sports Theory                       213 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             30 lines  19-APR-1990 10:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >T accuses someelse of "starting it"
    
    "Accuse?"  Implcit in your use of this word is that if there's a 
    problem here and culpability to assign.
    
    There's no problem.  Steven_boy initiated a_argument over a fine
    point on a sports-related analogy.  We haggled, and the issue was
    finally settled for good in 211.
    
    The only problem is you.  You concern yourself with things other than
    sports subjects.  You appoint yourself to a role of, if you will, the
    reviewer's reveiwer.  As I'm sure you're aware you are a_utter bore
    when you do this (like a broken record) and as a byproduct you
    inevitably leave a trail of "who said what when" squabbles.
    
    After all, if you don't like these rhetorical ratholes why do you 
    intercede in them?  If your only problem was your distaste for them,
    it's your duty of honor to do the right thing an bugoff.  If you
    choose to stay in them, then it's your duty of honor to quit with the
    whiney personal-level analyses and get back to the subjects at hand.
    
    But you won't do this.  You luv the ratholes and you luv the self-appointed
    role you've staked out for yourself.  The more you poison the well with
    your ego-driven mpulses, the more you slake this wierd thirst of yours
    by drinking from it.
    
    Compared to your acrimonious and sadly mistaken pomposities, the
    dispute Steven_boy on a matter of Sports Theory was positively a pleasure.
    
    MrT                                                             
================================================================================
Note 206.214                      Sports Theory                       214 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              8 lines  19-APR-1990 12:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >famous riot... 2 black schools... handled... brazen racists...
    >according to Sports Theory, so labeled.
    
    So sorry, TTom, as moderator of this topic I cain't allow that 
    subject in here.  It is no way a sports theory question.  Take it
    either to 25 or to the general basketball note.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.217                      Sports Theory                       217 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             16 lines  19-APR-1990 13:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Sorry again, TTom, but it doesn't wash.  
    
    I didn't say you couldn't *mention* the issue in here.  I'm no
    dictator, you cain make a_allusion or reference or comparison
    in here to any non-thoretical subject you choose.  *I* did.
    
    But you may NOT incite a_extended analysis of racism is sport by
    dressing up in theoretical clothing.  Why I oughta put you up on
    Fraud charges for trying to pull this stunt here on these sacred
    grounds of 206, and why not, that seems to be a_ACC tradition, eh? 
    
    re: the heckler
    
    Whaddya have to say now, 'Caught?  Haw haw haw....
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.221                      Sports Theory                       221 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             28 lines  19-APR-1990 14:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >the "[sic]"... wasn't in .166... this is a fraud.
    
    No it ain't.  I was surprised at my typo there and, quoting myself,
    was driven by intllectual honesty and a_urge for perfectionism to
    note my own mistake.  Don't ya see, Air, I cain admit my mistakes.
    Only reason it seems like I cain't is their infrequency!
    
    >you lie... and fraudulate [sic!!]... you think you can get away
    >with it... since you think the matter is closed, so do I...
    
    The only thing that's closed on this is your fetid mind.  
    
    I compared hits and baskets and you misrepresented this fine comparison
    as having compared hits and passes, which the verbatim quote provided
    in .211 PROVED that I was right beyond any reasonable shadow of a doubt. 
    
    Hell, my proof was so tight on this that even Human-Hunt complimented
    me on it!
    
    Doubting Thomas is a_awful thing.  Quit chugging the Robitussin DM and
    get your act together willya.
    
    One last time: MrT was right.  Steven_boy was very, very, wrong.
    
    No harm in that, is there?  Anybody cain make a mistake, Steve.  Heck,
    don't get down on yourself cuz of a simple mistake like this.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.224                      Sports Theory                       224 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "DAMM = DrunksAgainstMadMothers"   18 lines  19-APR-1990 15:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >that comparison says scoring a hoops isn't difficult where scoring 
    >a run is.
    
    YES!  YES !!
    
    That's what I said!  At last we're on the same wavelength.  I said that
    scoring a hoops [sic] is pud, scoring a baseball run is tough.  And
    this MUST be so cuz the odds are against getting a single and are stacked
    astronomically against doing so three consective times; while completing
    a series of passes is ho hum.
    
    Don't ya see it, Steven_boy?!  I never made the comparison you egregiously
    ascribed to me, you just pulled a boner.
    
    Well then, now that *that's* finally settled we cain get back to some
    meaty substantive overarching Theory.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.225                      Sports Theory                       225 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "DAMM = DrunksAgainstMadMothers"    5 lines  19-APR-1990 15:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I never personal attacked you.  Perhaps you were reading some of 
    Human-Hunt's work and mistook it for mine.  We do share rather similar
    writing styles.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.229                      Sports Theory                       229 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             15 lines  20-APR-1990 08:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .227
    
    You cain't get off that easily.  In a nutshell, you said - in a 
    rather obtrusive manner, btw - that I made a flawed analogy.
    
    But you never pointed out the flaw.
    
    Again shame on you.  And if you think having your pugnacity described
    as such amounts to a personal attack, then you're being... well, 
    *pugnacious*.
    
    Mebbe we should take this dispute to arbitration.  Let us use a_
    objective and wise arbitrator.  Say, Frank Way or Slasher.  You game?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.232                      Sports Theory                       232 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              6 lines  20-APR-1990 09:39
                   -< calling Chainsaw!  calling Chainsaw! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Frank, will you serve as arbitrator on this?  Nothing heavy, it'd
    work this way: I submit my brief, Steven his, then each of us gets
    one and only one rebuttal.  Then you decide.  All we axe is that you
    make a simple winner-loser declaration, MLB-style.
    
    MrT(aunted & Tortured So)
================================================================================
Note 206.235                      Sports Theory                       235 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"              9 lines  20-APR-1990 10:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why?  Cuz you ain't trustworthy on this.  Your total unmitigated
    unreliability on this is the central problem.  So why bring in more
    confused people to add to YOUR confusion?
    
    Let's bring in a_expert, a man of unimpugnable credentials.  'Saw.
    
    Whatsamatta, skeert of a little in-joe-face objectivity, Steven_boy?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.264                      Sports Theory                       264 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             34 lines  20-APR-1990 15:03
                         -< guantlet thrown down here >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >there was no desire for theory to be debated.
    
    Jam it, ACCrook.  Fact is much theory did get debated (I'll enumerate
    them if you persist in your misrepresentation), most of it initiated
    by me.  Ftm, who the hell are you to issue proclamations on what's ok
    and what ain't.  This is a sports-related issue, a hair splitter I'll
    admit, which is more than cain be said for some 40% of the notes in
    here, including your Rhetorical Police citation in .242.  
    
    If you don't wanna read it bugoff.  Censorship is for Banana Republics
    (and Banana Repulicans and NeoConMen like you) not for this forum.
    
    re: The putative "flaw"
    
    Well, Steve, if you insist that I drew a comparative link between 
    basketball passes and singles, show it.  
    
    All you've shown thus far is the two in the same sentence with two
    other items.  To say that each of four nouns that coexist in the same
    sentence are, when that sentence is busy proposing a_anlalog, then
    necessarily part of the analogy is stupid.
    
    Show the connection, or slink away riding low on those scales pasted
    over your eyes.
    
    Prove it.
    
    Put up or SHUT up.
    
    I dare ya.
    
    I'm waiting.
    
    MrT         
================================================================================
Note 206.266                      Sports Theory                       266 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             27 lines  23-APR-1990 07:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Therefore, I say that your analogy says that passes are comparable 
    >to hits.
    
    This is the crux of your knucklehaidedness on this.  
    
    Pu-leeze.  Explain HOW the two sequences compared by me (passes/hoop
    vs. singles/run) must say that "passes are comparable to hits."
    
    Explain this in detail, wail you?  Do so especially in light of the
    fack that I was drawing the comparison at the end-result level (i.e.,
    hoop vs. bucket) and that I did so to illustrate how much easier and
    more routine the basketball sequence is (i.e., basketball pass = easy,
    baseball single = difficult; 3 straight basketball passes = easy, 3
    straight singles = extremely difficult).
    
    In short, quote verbatim or provide direct reasonable inference whereby
    the analogy's putative flaw must exist, Your Cudgelship.
    
    >Thomas
    
    Please, Steven_boy, not me.  The nominal self-abuse you've engaged in
    for 1-2 years now I want no part of.  Look at you, shaving wart-filled
    palms each morning.  Hey, *Steven*, show some class willya and go to
    Olga's of Hungary and get waxed or at least down to the drug store to
    cop a gallon or two of Nair...
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.267                      Sports Theory                       267 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             16 lines  23-APR-1990 07:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Way back in .166 or wherever, you supposed that:
    >
    >  Three singles [in place of a dinger]
    >
    >          is comprable to
    >
    >  A series of passes for a backdoor play.
    
    You got a quote on this, Air?  What a_inference you make!  This is one
    of the most ridiculously (but conveniently) bad inferences possible in 
    the universe.  It fails on at least 3 levels that I cain see; and it
    succeeds on none (except as cudgel fodder, mebbe).
    
    You have explaining to do, are you up to it?  [no]
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.268                      Sports Theory                       268 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered by Funk"              44 lines  23-APR-1990 13:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, now that the mistaken Steven_boy has finally backed down, on
    to meaty substantive sports theorizing.  His bad thinking even had
    ME reeling for awhile there, but mebbe some sharp theorizing'll get
    us back on track:
    
    	Game structure
    
    A purty important thing, now ain't it?  Game *structure*, in fact,
    dominates the sports consumption experience both explicitly and
    subliminally.  Let us count the ways that this affects the spectating 
    experience:  
    
    - baseball
    
    At bat is the basic event, with outs the basic unit of measure.  Length
    of game is variable according to success of offense (i.e., no clock).
    "Dead play/live play" potential with each pitch according to whether
    it's hit or not.  Key area is pitcher/batter confrontation with direct
    involvement by manager at crucial points.  Unique quality is that play
    involves, roughly, one-against-all (offense) and all-against-one (defense),
    which means that the offensive player is nearly on his own while the 
    defensive player is nearly entirely dependent on teammate(s).  Also, 
    nature of individual plays highly context-sensitive (e.g., 2 out in 9th
    with Rickey Henderson bothering pitcher at 3rd with RHB at plate and
    manager intervening on length of pitcher's delivery and height of his
    leg kick and pitch selection... while other contexts cain be very routine). 
    
    Low success ratio for offensive attempts.  Nature of defensive effort
    often directly related to forthcoming batters in lineup, which entirely
    differentiates baseball from all-against-all (i.e., almost all) sports.
    
    Game-to-game aspect very big in baseball, with certain starters not even
    used in certain games by design, and other everyday players not used in
    specific game situation due to level of usage in preceding game(s) or 
    anticipated usage in forthcoming game(s).
    
    A very complex sport packed with subtle dimensions there for the inference
    if spectator active and informed enough.  Not a particularly high action 
    sport, except in brief intermittent bursts.
    
    (Other strucural analyses forthcoming on football, hoops, etc. for purpose
    of comparative sports profundities.)
    
    MrT(heorizer)
================================================================================
Note 206.269                      Sports Theory                       269 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"                1 line  24-APR-1990 12:51
             -< Ma victoire sur Steven est sucre.  Voila!  [sic]  >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
================================================================================
Note 206.273                      Sports Theory                       273 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              32 lines  24-APR-1990 15:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .270
    
    That's UNFAIR TTom !!
    
    This guy comes cudgeling along, beats me about the haid with this
    alleged flaw in a_analogy I'd innocently posited, and then goes into
    a frenzy... all the while demurring when axed to explain exackally
    where MrT compared passes and singles as equivalent.
    
    Damn RIGHT I'm celebrating my victory on this.  Steven [sci] backed
    down and rightfully so.  And, I might add, it took not a little 
    courage for him to publicly cave in on this issue he introduced and
    pushed so hard - so much so that I had the class to send him a mail
    complimenting him on his wisdom and courage for doing it.
    
    Should you choose to capitulate, Steven_boy:
    
    
    
    
    		Explain, in detail, where my quoted words necessarily
    		meant that I said that singles were equivalent to 
    		basketball passes (i.e., where's "the flaw").
    
    
    
    I ain't never said no such thing, and if Steven_boy's macho persona
    forces him into readdressing this issue I'll redress it for him! 
    
    TTom, R U suggesting that I back down when somebody picks on me?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.275                      Sports Theory                       275 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"               7 lines  25-APR-1990 09:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Stephen_boy's point has not merit, cuz the baseball defender has
    absolutely no chance of scoring.  
    
    I think he was confusing "active" and/or "initiative" with offense,
    probably cuz offense is most often associated with these qualities.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.277                      Sports Theory                       277 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              14 lines  25-APR-1990 10:20
                      -< I see your point on *this* one >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    True true, as is so often the case baseball is starkly different from
    the more traditionally structured sports.  A quick list:
    
    - offense/defense action roles somewhat reversed and atypical
    - one-against-all and all-against-one sides
    - no clock
    - progressive context-switching with each step (i.e., pitch/count)
    - minimal interjection of officiating
    - strong site dependency (game partially defined by ballpark)
    - frequent play outside of officially-designated playing area
    - game-to-game dimension within a game
    - Tiny margins between success and failure
    
    MrT     
================================================================================
Note 206.292                      Sports Theory                       292 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              36 lines  25-APR-1990 14:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >often seems esssential to the conversation to extend attacks
    
    Attacking points and position is arguin'.  To argue is to help
    understand.  Fear of argument is not work toward understaing.
    Your position is reflective of the prototypical American Voter
    (afraid of true argument; avoidance of facing reality).  Heat,
    kitchen, out, right?
    
    Understandingly Yours,
    MrT
    
    re: finite state sport
    
    There could be two highest level sports categories:
    
    1. Continous flow
    
    2. Finite state
    
    I wouldn't say that baseball's the only finite state sport.  Here, off
    the top, are some others:
    
    	- football
    	- golf
    	- bowling
    	- tennis (partial)
    
    I cain't think a one as multitiered as baseball, though: Pitch, AB,
    Out, Side Up, Inning, Lineup Rotation.
    
    >Football is for TV; baseball is for the mind
    
    Do you mind, *Dan*?  What then is it YOU do when you're watching ALmost
    ball, flip your mind off and simply watch TV?  
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.295                      Sports Theory                       295 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              17 lines  25-APR-1990 15:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .293
    
    Sorry, Dan.  It's only YOU who's nearly always wrong.  And I 
    cain't apologize for the facts as they are; especially when they
    aren't needed (the 3 grad student/3 guard team won the Big10 with
    their star paying his own tuition and had one a them precious 
    Sweet 16 Excellent Losses you value so highly).
    
    re .294
    
    Couldn't agree more, which is why I never personally attacked 
    Stephie_boy.  Hey TTom, quit clogging this Sports Theory note
    willya.  I just got it back on the topic and here you stagger in
    wearing a hare shirt [sic] and weeping "daddy's hurtin' mommy!
    daddy please don't hurt mommy waaaa!"  8^o  Capiche?
    
    MrT  
================================================================================
Note 206.298                      Sports Theory                       298 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"               7 lines  26-APR-1990 07:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .296
    
    Could be.  The approach I've taken here, for better or for worse,
    is to attempt defining a sport from the spectating perspective at
    a mechanical level.
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 206.300                      Sports Theory                       300 of 302
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"               5 lines  26-APR-1990 10:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Kinda like voyeurism???
    
    Well, yes, if one substitutes "leer" for "cheer"...
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 207.8                April 6, Student-Athlete Day                   8 of 13
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "MrT: SPORTS' objective analyst" 16 lines   9-APR-1990 09:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Student-Athlete Day amounts to a sham layered atop a scam.  What a 
    sad commentary it is that a special day need be declared to remind
    the nation of the true purpose of their colleges.
    
    Reminds me, in a_analog sorta way, of a comment made by the now
    late Walter Karp on the meek government-controlled nature of the
    American media, "journalism has become so totally dependent on 
    their sources, and so accepting of government edict, that they
    created a special category called 'investigative journalism' for
    those rare cases where they actually dig something up."
    
    Self-congratulatory defeatism.  I like that.  Is it a trend.
    
    Student-Athlete Day indeed.  Bah.
    
    MrT 

================================================================================
Note 210.5                    The Oakland A's note                       5 of 62
34905::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             5 lines  11-APR-1990 14:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >Simply a matter of biochemistry and physics...
    
    And steroids abuse, perhaps?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 210.11                   The Oakland A's note                      11 of 62
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"             16 lines  12-APR-1990 10:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    'Saw, I'm shocked to see you in here engaging in synapscism.
    
    Whatever his medical history, Jose is GOD.  He is the best player
    in the game bar none, and I hate the A's.
    
    I hate the A's cuz I'm a foot soldier in JHendry's Aprostrophe
    Police, and what cain be more repugnant than a team whose very
    logo is itself a_awful example of bad grammar.
    
    re: the A's [sic]
    
    They seem to be vulnerable to RHP this year.  They need a studly
    left bat.  These guys are vulnerable.  Sure, they're the champs
    and are probably the best team and all, but they cain be had!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 210.34                   The Oakland A's note                      34 of 62
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"          16 lines  13-APR-1990 10:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Actually, the expression [sic] has a broader application.  In the
    purest sense it indicate's the quoter's surprise at a word or fact
    or idea within the quoted text.  Usually this is, as JHendry states,
    a misspelling.  It also could be a factual error.  It's common among
    your intellectual-style writers to use [sic] to hammer what he/she
    considers to be a stupidity of some type from a_adversary being 
    quoted.  Let's take a_example:
    
    	"C'MON MrT, drop the T-hypocrisy and get a FACK in your life
    	willya.  Answer the damned question!  For the last time, why
    	is Redbelly's overall NCAA tourney winning percentage so much
    	lower than Dean Smith's [sic]?"
    
    	Dan "ACC" Hunt
    
    MrT 

================================================================================
Note 213.26                What Sport Would You Play?                   26 of 51
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "A cloaca of heresies"           20 lines  13-APR-1990 08:00
                                 -< F1 Driver >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    F1 drivers make the most money of any team sport (top drivers make
    $10 million/yr plus several more in endorsements).  This is strictly
    thoretical mind you, but all the beautfiul women hanging about the
    jet-set F1 scene doesn't detract, either.
    
    The physical aspect's tough, sure, pulling up to 7 Gs on hard braking
    with today's tires, up to 5 Gs is routine now a few times per lap.
    
    I dropped my baseball star fantasy two years ago the moment I first
    stepped onto a French Riviera beach in Bandol.  We had driven down
    to see the Grand Prix on top of the mountain overlooking the Med,
    and the first thing we saw from the beach was one of them super yachts
    like Donald and the sheiks have.  I noticed it had a helicopter pad
    on the bow.  As I stared through the binos a Bell Jet landed neatly,
    and 3-time World Champ Nelson Piquet hops out from behind the controls
    onto the deck, coming back from a hard day of pre-qualifying practice...
    
    VROOOM !!  VROOOOOOOOM !!
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 213.34                What Sport Would You Play?                   34 of 51
MUSKIE::SHAUGHNESSY "Mr. Shetland Pony suh"          12 lines  13-APR-1990 09:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Damn.
    
    First they rob ALmost fans of brainwave activity.
    
    Then they NBAalanize pro hoops.
    
    *Now* even the horsies are left dealing with intermediaries, directors,
    and producers.
    
    Ranching just ain't what it used to be.  
    
    MrT

================================================================================
Note 219.4      Unofficial, Unregulated Note on College Lacrosse         4 of 24
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"               4 lines  25-APR-1990 10:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    How're the boys from St. John's fine Lacrosse team doin' nowadays,
    anyways?
    
    MrT
================================================================================
Note 219.7      Unofficial, Unregulated Note on College Lacrosse         7 of 24
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"               7 lines  25-APR-1990 15:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ironically, one of the best midwestern lacrosse teams is the University
    of Wisconsin at, cain you believe it?, Lacrosse (UW-L).
    
    Great sport.  Also one of the dirtiest sports.
    
    MrT
    

================================================================================
Note 224.2           The *FOURTH* Annual Kiner's Korner Note             2 of 14
CARP::SHAUGHNESSY "Overpowered By Funk"              14 lines  27-APR-1990 11:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Did you know that Ralph hit HRs at a faster per AB clip than any
    other player except Babe?   This could be wrong, but I believe
    Ruth hit one dinger every 9.7 ABs or whatever and that Ralph did
    so about once per 10.2 or so. 
    
    The man supposedly wielded a bat well over 40 oz. in weight, and
    woulda projected unbelievable career power hitting numbers had his
    career not been cut short after just 10 years due to a serious 
    injury (back, I think). 
    
    Phil-the-Shill's a_awful announcer and a_unfortunate person, now
    ain't he? 
    
    MrT

    Shagnasty(tm), 
    
    Three years ago I discovered this file and those were the days when
    
    DecLaw required you to submit replies of AT LEAST 200 lines in EVERY
    
    topic.  Since that time I've (regretfully sometimes) seen you fall
    
    victim to the powers of the RiscGod and cast away your Cisc religion.
    
    ;^)
    
    I'll truely miss ya, you've been a true stal-Wart in here and although
    
    I admit to many times KP3'ing after the 3rd or 4th screen, I've enjoyed
    
    most of your stuff.
    
    As was mentioned earlier, the Trial has got to be your most crowning
    
    achievement.  Too bad you think the grass is greener, I'll miss ya.
    
    
    Oh, yeah, Knight's a dweeb!  LOUIEEEE is king!!!!!
    
    Kev
    

    Bye, MorT.
    
    Your pal,
    
    Dan

    
    
    	So long T,
    
    	Good Luck!
    
    From your No# 1 NASCAR fan!
    
    B.A.
    

    They always go in 3's huh... we'll see...

    >Dan, prior to getting accepted to Columbia, was accepted to Michigan.
    >He was all set to attend and become a Wolverine.
    
    Brrrr !!  That's even skeerier than the thought a Saddam getting the
    A-Bomb.  Not cuz a their hoops program reaping yet another #1
    recruiting class (with anybody who looks as stoopid as Steve Fisher at
    the helm squandering Dean-style cain be counted on), but cuz this
    Moellers guy knows that Bo didn't know a damned thing and he's gonna 
    take all that talent (from Ohio) and wia Title (which is what counts).
    
    >Bye, MorT
    >
    >Your Pal,
    >
    >Dan
    
    The depth a feeling in this sorta makes ya choke up with emotions, eh
    guys?
    
    Big10 Tom
    

    Here's a couple of T(errific) retorts that shouldn't be forgotten,
    IMHO.  I didn't know where else to dump 'em so they came back here
    to the author.
    
    P.S. they still give me chills/thrills
    
    <<< Note 73.2529 by ANGLIN::SHAUGHNESSY "I came. I saw. I hockered." >>>

    >Opera's been around longer than Rap so there
    
    And thank gawd for *that*!!
    
    Think a it: What makes music a_art, a higher form a human expression?
    Put another way, why are only a few competent musicians, what makes
    it hard?
    
    Answer: 1) The ability to compose melody
    	    2) The ability to sing
    	    3) The ability to play a_instrument
    	    4) The abillity to arrange instruments and voice
    
    Rap, of course, requires absolutely none a these skeels.  Rap and its
    popularity, IMNSHO, represents the decline of African-American culture.
    Used to be black Americans were dominant culturally.  But the next time
    you see some geek in untied tennis shoes and fedora spitting fake drum
    beats and bobbing his haid reciting 3rd grade level "verse" into a
    camera to the accompaniment of a drum machine...
    
    ... Isn't what these rappers are really saying is that black America
    has thrown in the towel, given up?
    
    MrT

  <<< Note 73.2567 by ANGLIN::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" >>>

    You're full of rap, Midnight.  20 years ago nobody was attacking
    soul music or rhythm & blues as non-musical and the product of 
    talentless geeks.  Quite the contrary was the case, with soul music
    generally regarded as the most musical of popular genres as was borne
    out by its wild success in crossover formats at its wide imitation.
    
    Same goes for jazz in its earlier era.
    
    With (c)rap, trouble is, there ain't a damned thing to imitate...
    except striking exagerrated poses, looking and sounding extremely
    dumb, and chanting ridiculously moronice subpoetry to a droning 
    hypersyncopated beat that surely would bring any jazz drummer to tears
    of sneers.
    
    As for my "stereotyping," it's good to hear you using Thoughtspeak
    terminology, soon you too will wield the pernicious cudgel of "cultural
    diversity."  Do so soon, please, so I cain point out that the "(f)art"
    you call rap (and that I'll now call (c)rap) is anything but diverse.
    Know why it cain't diversify?  Cuz it simply lacks content.  Why is
    that you axe?  Cuz no instruments, singing, or musical composition is
    required.  Any dufus cain do a (c)rap "song."  This is why our nation's
    youth is now exposed to hundreds of extremely dumb dufi droning on with
    their (f)art on MTV.
    
    Generalization is the basis of human language.  Though most (c)rapper's
    cain't speak 9th grade level English, hopefully you'll understand that
    my particular generalization about (c)rap is, prima facie, true, cuz
    it's something that's definitely not music posing as such.  
    
    You make my point by pointing out Marsalis and Aerosmith, each musicians
    of sorts, co-opterating [no sic] with (c)rap groups so as to backfill
    what each is missing.
    
    I cain see it now: Black America Fair's finest moment.  A federally-
    subsidized get-together in D.C. with Kool Mo D doing a government
    approved "stay in school" (c)rap accompanied by several 11 year old
    drop-out break dancers and dozens of jazz musicians who cain't sell
    records, introduced, of course, by Colman McCarthy reading his infamous
    essay about how studying Algebra in high school is irrelevant and 
    culturally damaging.
    
    Git Down!  Word!
    
    MrT

    

    Another classic T was when I tried to encourage him back into Sports
    during one of his absences.  I sorta axed him to become a RON and he
    replied...
    
    "Mark, my main main, reading Sports would be akin to a crackhaid tokin'
    on a reefer."
    
    Busted a filbert over that one.
    
    Mark.

    Ah, MrT.  How cain you forget such wonders like:
    
    "Reach out and taunt someone"
    
    Shuddering Thighs
    
    John Stompshim
    
    Louie Carnagesickum
    
    and many others.
    A true classic
    
    JD

===========================================================================
			DO THE MorTMAN�
	     (sung to the tune of "Do the Bartman")
		(With apologies to the Simpsons)

	My name is Tom but sometimes I'm called MorT,
	And I am the Objective Analyst of SPORTS.

	But whenever I feel like having some fun,
	I jes' reach out and taunt someone.

			(Refrain)
	Everybody if you can do the MorTman,
	Everybody shake your can and do the MorTman.

	Everybody here in SPORTS do the MorTman,
	Everybody eat my shorts and do the MorTman.

	DO THE MorTMAN!

	Now that Lisa Olsen is a classic |BLEEP|,
	Peeking at the Pats when they ain't got a stitch.

	The only thing poor ol' Zeke did wrong,
	Was havin' a johnson that was jes' to long.

			(Refrain)

	The designated gimmick is a stupid rule,
	Created and promoted by money grubbin' fools.

	Everybody knows that a pitcher should hit,
	Cuz' when he don't the game ain't |BLEEP|

			(Refrain)

	Lemme tell you now about Bobby Knight,
	A true folk hero on the side of right.

	A coaching genius without any peer,
	And he'll even redecorate your gym with a chair.

			(Refrain)

	And then there's the sad story of the lowly Star Heels,
	With a chain smokin' coach who really lacks appeal.

	They like to be known as the Carolina Blue,
	But excellent losses is all that they accrue.

			(Refrain)

	There's a man called Stomper and he does oversee,
	A basketball team that I call Run D&C.

	When this team takes the court to play some basketball,
	Things start to look like a street gang brawl.

			(Refrain)

	Wimp football is played by that 49ers team,
	With a phony quarterback that is a has been.

	4.7 yards then scamper out of bounds,
	That's the kind of football played when a sissy wears the crown.

			(Refrain)

	There's a coach in Atlanta whose name is Jerry,
	A football genius as anyone cain' see.

	A big belt buckle and a Texas swagger,
	But he's best known as a classic windblown bragger.

			(Refrain)

	Now the NBA is a fraud and a sham,
	That's why I call Magic the "Travellin' Man".

	All that kissin' and huggin' makes me wonder,
	If they ain't a grabbin' at sumpin' down under.

			(Refrain)	

	Well that's my song and I gotta run I'm late,
	And I don't want to fib or obfuscate.

	Whenever in doubt jes' axe' old MorT,
	Cuz' I am the Objective Analyst of SPORTS.

			(Refrain)

Tooo funny Slasher!


Tooo funny.....

    No one can take your place when you're gone and I sure as hell hope
    nobody's going to try...
    
    Chow, T.

Okay, I'll try this once more...

Esselent rap Slasher, def jam goo bro. I guess this just backs up MoRT's
(c)rap theory!. Heck even a milktoast like The Slasher can be a top 40
rapper! Whatta ya say / ? I can make you a star! Girls, beer, money, girls,
beer, beer, money, girls, more beer, money, money, girls, girls, and still
more beer, just sign on the dotted line!



--------------

Fine print to follow:

...............



Steve 8^)

    	Hey guys I originally put the Mortman� in OURGNG:: back in December
    as a lefthanded tribute to MrT.  I thought I would resurrect it
    now that he's leaving.  Cya T, it's been fun.
    
    				/Don

    
       It jes ain't a gonna be tha same lil 'ol SPORTS wid out
    Mr T. roun thes heah parts!  No siree!  
    
    
    						 glen j.

       Don't tell anyone, but a check of 'known links' shows a SHAUGHNESSY
    reading this conference as I type this. The guy musta left his terminal
    logged into SPORTS when he left eh?
                                    Denny

    Funny thing Denny,
    
    Phone dir Muskie also shows (as I type this) a Shamnasty with
    a_available broadcast.
    
    
    Methinks me smells a rat!
    
    Kev
    

    What's going on here?  I'm starting to figure out that some a you
    people thought I was leaving the Company.  How cain that be?  I
    never said any such thing.  This is not true.
    
    I don't want to see the ugly spectres a mobism and anit-MrTism
    reared in here.  There's been a terrible misunderstanding,
    a_unfortunate miscue in here, maybe some poor phraseology on my
    part, and a whole lotta miscomprehension on your parts.
    
    Let's just split the difference (10% vs. 90% going to you) and
    forget the whole thing ever happened.  
    
    MrT

    There we have it.  A cheap ploy for MrT to get some attention.  An
    incident more heinous than a certain contest for basketball tickets.

    That's a false accusation, Mac.  It's this simple: I NEVER stated or
    implied that I was leaving the Company.  If you people have problems
    in the reading comprehension dept. that's your problem not mine.
    
    MrT

    OK T, I realize I am falling into your trap to garner more attention
    for yourself and further inflate your ego, but I don't care to be
    called a liar or an idiot.  Here is the note you entered in 184.0
    announcing that you are leaving the company.  Nothing has been edited.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
   <<< Note 184.0 by ANGLIN::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" >>>
                             -< MrT B Gone Too... >-

    
    This must be contagious, for MrT too is accepting a_opportunity
    elsewhere, and next Friday will be it for me.  You won't have
    poor MrT to kick around anymore.  I'll be working with a small
    software company. 

    At least I had the decency to do it on April 1 ;-)

 �   That's a false accusation, Mac.  It's this simple: I NEVER stated or
 �   implied that I was leaving the Company.  If you people have problems
 �   in the reading comprehension dept. that's your problem not mine.
 
 Methinks "poor" MrT should re-comprehend one of good ol' Aesop's
 Fables ... the one about the boy who cried "Wolf!" a few too many
 times.   Nexted time he pre-announces his heart-rending exit, I hope
 he's not devastated when the SPORTS Yawn Factor spikes way upwards.
 
 Bob Hunt

    re .55
    
    Thank you MAc.  It's good to see that you, a moderate and objective
    noter, are coming down on the side a MrT on this.  I don't like 
    being called a liar, either, and your quote a MrT's text from the
    basenote here shows BEYOND A SHADOW A A DOUBT that I never even 
    implied, much less stated, that I was leaving the Company.  Each a 
    the sentences in there are absolutely true and I cain prove it.
    
    Looking back on it, perhaps our 'motions were running high what with
    JoJ and Dan SnideAir going, and I inadvertently left my note open to
    misinterpretation.  I intended no such thing.  What I meant to 
    communicate was something else entirely.
    
    Let's split the difference here: MrT's loose phraseology left itself
    open to misinterpretation and the readers' crispness of comprehension
    was perhaps a bit poor.  
    
    Plenty a blame to go all 'round but I'm OK and you all are OK.  Do have
    to admit, though, that some a the warm things said about me in here 
    seemed unusual and I began to suspect a terrible mistake.  But when I
    saw RaKe's memo I was laughing to hard to clean it up!
    
    MrT

    	MrT and I go back a long way and I've never known him to bear
    false witness.  'Twas an honest mistake that any one of us could've
    made.  Glad to see you're still here papi...
    
    				/Don

    Caint see why anyone is getting upset at MrT.  He did no wrong.  Folks
    were in such a hurry to show that they'd miss him that they never
    really checked to make sure he was going - if that's what folks
    believed. 
    
    Glad to here that MrT's demise was just a pipe dream of his enemies and
    detractors.
    
    JD

    re:	lasted(tm) -2
    
    
    
    				BARF!!!!!
    
    Sheesh, pretty soon Slasher & JD gonna be swappin spit with
    Shamnasty!!!
    
    			PTOOEEEE!!!!!
    
    
    Kev
    (juror in waitin')
    
    

           <<< CAM::SYS$SYSDEVICE:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SPORTS_91.NOTE;1 >>>
               -< CAM::SPORTS -- Digital's Daily Sports Tabloid >-
================================================================================
Note 17.1921          Atlantic Coast Conference Basketball          1921 of 1922
RHETT::KNORR "Carolina Blue"                         22 lines  28-AUG-1991 11:23
          -< Phil Ford == 4C  (gives me goose bumps remembering ...) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re: MrT
    
    You guys have gotta be kidding if you really believe MorT's
    up-and-leaving.  I don't buy it - not for a minute.  Dan and JoJ leave
    and then, outa the blue, MrT announces he's leaving?  Yea, right.
    Stay tuned for his Monday morning note, folks.
    
    
    - ACC Chris
    

       Hey /Don's a big Don King fan too. Whataya 'spect?!!
                                        Denny  =8^o
    
    

�       Hey /Don's a big Don King fan too. Whataya 'spect?!!


And he kinda looks like Captain Lou Albano  too

Chap    

    Trial?  There'll NEVER be any damned Trial in here.  The Moderators
    will never allow it.  That's the beauty a SPORTS: Fairness prevails
    even if not for the right reasons.
    
    re: JD and /Don
    
    Bless you.  There's been a terrible mix-up that's embarrassed some
    people who got all misty on me; but I maintain my innocence
    categorically and will make no deals.
    
    MrT

    Well, since T proclaims pure innocence, I guess he wouldn't mind if a
    few of us forwarded 184.0 to his manager, right?  I mean, it's not like
    his manager would misinterpret that note like the rest of us fools...or
    even think that the small software company is even remotely a conflict
    of interests.
    
    Who needs a trial?  He's innocent until PA time if he lasts that long.
    
    	--dan'l

    Sorry Hawk, but the Constitution guarantees against Double Jeopardy. 
    Hence I'm a free man, unless any new and pertinent information has been
    uncovered.  [There hasn't.]
    
    On the other hand here we have MrT, caught redhanded in a blatant and
    ugly lie.  I'd recommend prosecution if not for the utter pathetic
    nature of the crime.  I mean, here we have a "man" so desperate for
    ego-stroking that he lied about leaving the company just so he could
    read compliments about himself.  
    
    Sad.  Very sad.  MorT probably deserves counseling more than jail time,
    IMHO.
    
    
    - ACC Chris

Well, I for one heinously, nay *odiously* misinterpreted poor MrT's
message.  Guess I got fooled by the medium...

At any rate, I think it would be most bodaciously helpful, and soothing
to those among us with hen ova on our faces, if MrT would kindly
intepret for us zactly what he did mean...  

That would go a long way towards avoiding these egregious mistakes
again....

So how bout it Tom, you wanna give us the inside scoop on what you really 
meant?????


'Saw

    Now 'Saw,
    
    that would be making "T" do something totally out of character for
    himself.
    
    
    JaKe
    

 Might as well face the music, folks.   If you feel like you were
 suckered by T, you were.
 
 Take a deep breath, suck it up, file this little episode away under
 "Never again!" and let it rest.   Trust me, I had to learn this
 lesson the ultra hard way a few years back.   Being right against MrT
 just ain't worth the disk space ... or the effort.
 
 Careful readers will observe that I never said good-bye to the man.  
 It's not that I wouldn't have missed his notes if he had left.  I
 admit that I would have ... this things just smelled way too fishy to
 invest in a good-bye note.
 
 Bob Hunt

    
    I suspect that when MrT eventually does go, it'll be by a coup in
    the dead a night, with the poor guy left outside the next morning 
    banging on the front doors pleading for access to his terminal.  
    Then we'll know it's for real, but, and most fortunately, we'll have 
    no way to express our "appreciation"...
    
    glenn
     

    >Being right against MrT just ain't worth the disk space 
    >... or the effort.
    
    Hear! hear!, Bob "Witch" Hunt.  I cain't agree with this fine 
    statement more.  What you're saying, in a nutshell, is that
    there was a terrible misunderstanding stemming from a_unfortunate
    miscommunication that has left people who got misty on my apparent
    departure feeling like suckers, fools, and geeks; but that on review
    it is clear that MrT's communique implied no such thing and that it
    was widely misinterpreted due to the emotions flying about during
    the particular week it happened to be entered.
    
    re: Frank 
    
    Sorry, Frank, cain't.  With all this silly talk about a Trial (which
    I urge the Mods to squelch) it wouldn't be wise for me to expose my
    evidence to this sad-sack lynch mob, which no doubt will disperse by
    week's end and move on to some meaty sports subject, where I will 
    join them in full stature.
    
    MrT

          
    Bob, to reinforce your wise and powerful message that we just sweep
    this whole mess under the rug, I'd like to quote a nugget a wisdom
    entered by another unfairly besieged correspondent over in 73.2767:
        
    >Please folks, *read* replies, mail, etc. and think a bit before flying
    >off the handle.  It will make life so much easier.
    
    Amen.
    
    MrT
    

 � What you're saying, in a nutshell, is that there was a terrible
 � misunderstanding stemming from a_unfortunate miscommunication that
 � has left people who got misty on my apparent departure feeling like
 � suckers, fools, and geeks; but that on review it is clear that MrT's
 � communique implied no such thing and that it was widely
 � misinterpreted due to the emotions flying about during the particular
 � week it happened to be entered.
 
 I said no such thing.   What I said was that I no longer care to
 expend the energy needed to figure out what you say or don't say.  
 
 Nobody spends any time any more trying to analyze or interpret The
 Three Stooges or the Marx Brothers ... they simply sit back and enjoy
 the antics.
 
 Somebody pass the popcorn, please ???
 
 Bob Hunt

    Congrats T. You really outdid yerseff dis time.

    T, you betrayed us big-time.
    
    Mark.

	Speaking of the Marx brothers there Bob, I always thought Gummo was 
the real genius of the bunch.  But he got himself into a few sticky 
personal situations that ended his career prematurely.

				/Don

    Get a rope!

       I say string him up first,and then have a trial!
                                               Denny

    Yeah, but he doesn't need a trial.  Waste of time.  He has yet
    to offer any explanation of what he "really" was saying when
    he stated he was taking a job with a software group.
    
    Call it premature judgment, T, but since you obviously have
    no explanation other than attention-getting, then the judgment
    is obvious too--guilty.
    
    I retract my earlier note about my favorite 'T' notes.  For your
    information I printed these 'favorite' notes and 'T' 'T'd on them.
    A bit childish, I know, but what the hell.  This building IS history
    and everybody is in a partying mode anyhows.
    
    Cowboy
    

 "A riot is und ugly ting but I tink it's about time ve had vun !!!  
 To the laboratory !!!"
 
 Bob Hunt

    A well thought out plan, T.  You phrased your reply perfectly.  It
    presents a very effective screen of rhetoric to hide behind.  How do
    you justify the title of the note, though?  Where T be gone from?
    
    FYI - From the American Heritage Dictionary:
    
    "imply 1.  To involve or suggest by logical necessity; entail.  2.  To
    express indirectly; suggest without stating."

    Now wait just a MINUTE, gentlemen!  Let's set aside all this nasty 
    talk about ropes and unnecessary Kafkaesque exercises.  As I said,
    this whole terrible misunderstanding will be forgotten by Friday and
    everything's gonna be ok, everybody's gonna be alright.
    
    Nobody got hurt in this unfortunate exercise but poor MrT.  Look at
    yourselves, making false accusations and stroking torch handles like
    so many low-paid no-benefit extras on the set a a Frankenstein remake.
    
    I NEVER said I was leaving the Company or even implied it.  Each 
    sentence within the base note is entirely true.  It's unfortunate from
    my standpoint, but I cain't give my explanation with all this stupid
    gutless chest-beating about a Trial.  Keep in mind my standing as a
    barrister in these halls and my knowledge a courtroom tactics.  Why
    should I lay open my defense when I haven't even been charged?  
    
    The courage isn't there.  Shut up and admit this fack and let's talk
    SPORTS!  
    
    MrT

       Hey Mac, whilst you have your dictionary out, how about looking up
    'gone'.
                                      Denny

    Somebody get the dogs.
    
    Mark.

    Ok, Ok.  Sure you guys feel like a bunch a hoodwinked geeks having
    gotten all sappy and everything when it turned out poor MrT wasn't
    leaving.  I cain understand that.  But why beat on me?  You people
    should be happy I'm steal here and show some brotherhood-style respect
    to a_old buddy.  
    
    All this nasty talk is just the spoutings coming from a few dozen
    badly embarrassed and confused people.  I don't hold your mistakes
    against you; what right do you have to hold your mistakes against ME?
    
    MrT 

    He's guilty.
    

MrT reminds me of the dude (forget his name after these many years) from
Catch-22 who used to stuff apples in his cheeks.  The guy turned out to 
be crazy...like a fox.

I'm sitting here rollward, appreciating the wonder of it all....

As to "gone" it'd the 3rd person past tense of go.  One of the definitions
of "go" is "to become" or "to move".

MrT could have been "moved" too, at the loss of Dan and JoJ....


A heinous trick, no doubt.

All I say is this:

	FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU.  FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME.


There won't be a next time 8^)

    Lessee, let's find out what popular opinion on the "T"remendous scam
    thing is.
    
    I am taking an informal poll as to how ya feel "T"his thing was
    presented.
    
    If'n ya think that "T" is guilty of perpetrating a major SCAM here,
    send me mail with a simple "AYE" reply.
    
    If'n ya think that "T" made an honest mistake.....Send me mail with
    simply a "NAY" reply.
    
    Results nexted Monday.
    
    
    JaKe
    

    If you wanna level accusations at a_honest-to-God perp, go
    see the redoubtable ACCrook.  He VMS phoned me yesterday to
    ride me and ended up bragging about how he wasn't convicted a
    a damned thing cuz he "served no time" and "oh wasn't tt funny
    cuz any half-brained geek coulda seen that the contest was rigged
    from th beginning ha ha ha."
    
    Now, before you deny this Crockmeister remember your standing as
    a good Christian!
    
    MrT

    
    Change his name,   MrT = MrgilT
    
    

    JaKe,
    
    Is this poll gonna be anom, amom, alom, Aww the hech with it!
    
    You gonna divulge who voted what?  Is it a "Secret Ballot"?
    
    Deen to wonk
    
    Kev
    

 T ain't guilty of a damn thing.   People believed what they wanted to
 believe.   Everything he wrote down was just masterfully vague enough
 so that anyone could draw any conclusion they wanted to.    Once the
 first lemming went over the cliff, the mass stampede began ...
 
 There's a lesson here.   Nexted time, consider the source and be a
 little smarter about what conclusions you jump to.   That goes for
 inside SPORTS and outside.   
 
 Only thing left to figure out is how T managed to keep a straight
 face for the week or so that all the tributes gushed in.
 
 Bob Hunt

    
    Learing a lesson from what has already transpired:
    
    I never said he was "MRguilty".   I said "MrgilT".   That could be 
    derived from the fishy node name he calls home (MUSKIE, ANGLIN) or from
    biting the hook, taking the bait etc etc...
    
    
     

    Anonymity is guaranteed if'n ya vote.
    
    
    BTW, one rule which I failed to mention,  Only one vote will be allowed
    per "family"!!!!!
    
    JD, you know hew I mean!!!!
    
    JaKe
    

    Jake -
    
    Whad you mean?  My brothers an sisters caint vote, just cuz they are
    RONs?
    
    What a sham.  This poll looks rigged alreadY!!   Get the pee-pee
    whacker ready!
    
    JD

    JD
    
    Lessee, I got 143 votes with the lasted name Devlin all claiming to be
    related to you in some way or another.  Oh Well, I guess I know what
    your parents did 'round the clock!!!!
    
    (8^0*  (8^)*
    
    
    JaKe
    

    Hey JD,
    
    You wouldn't happen to be from West Virginia, would ya?????
    
    Your parents wouldn't have had to be so busy there cause people are
    producing their own siblings in W.Va.
    
    (8^)
    
    JaKe
    

    re .100
    Danke, Father Bob, I'll go to bed without supper
    
    MrT, MorT, Sports Objective Analyst,PoorT, Big10 Tom
    The Sybil of Sports
    8^)
    
    
    

    >I said "MrgilT"
    
    Why thank you:
    
    		 	gilt    Gilded; covered with gold; of the
    				color of gold
    
    				"Gilt hair."     Chaucer
   
    
    Seems as if all this lynch mob talk is going nhere, what with
    my being called golden boy, my princpal detractor admitting that
    I did no wrong, and others comparing me to something as pure and
    as good and as All-American as apple pie.
    
    As I said: The matter is not as cut and dried as some would like
    you to believe.  There'll be no Trial, and, as I said, this will
    all be forgotten in a day or so.  Why?  Easy: There's guilt (not
    "gilt") to go all the way around.  I admit my small part in this
    terrible mix-up.
    
    So then, let's suppose that there were 50 who took part in this
    mess, including me, then I'm responsible for 2% of the problem and
    each of you likewise.Such a_onus of such small proportion should
    be easy for each a us to sustain.  Let's git on with our lives...
    
    MrT
    

�    So then, let's suppose that there were 50 who took part in this
�    mess, including me, then I'm responsible for 2% of the problem and
�    each of you likewise.Such a_onus of such small proportion should
�    be easy for each a us to sustain.  Let's git on with our lives...
�    
�    MrT
    
    Looks like a dastatistikal anaylsis to me.

    re. 108
    
    gilt as in gold plated or tarnishes easily.  Boy this notes is starting
    to smell like a big pile of SLOF!
    
    I'm glad I never responded with adulation or remise!
    
    Conan
    

    Hey T,
    
    184.0 is a classic example of how Objective a Analyst ya really are
    (not).
    
    Commander Scott

    
    As a fellow salesman, I can unequivocally say that Mr. T would never,
    ever lie.  Why that's against the Salesman's Credo.
    
    You guys are having reading/terminal problems.  The title of this note,
    for example, says "MR. T Be sad that those guys are GONE TOO."   He
    just accidentally typed write instead of reply.
    
    Bruce 

The way I see it, it's no different than being on tour with the team.

When we're on tour with the team, it's one practical joke after another.
In the Bahamas it was literally non-stop.  Hell, 6 months later I'm
still laughing about jokes I played and that were played on me....

When the joke is played on you, you can take it a couple of ways.  You can
get all bent outta shape, and pout and stuff, or you can say "Good job,
you got me good".  The latter certainly provides for a more congenial
tour.

That's the way I'm viewing this.  Ol T is far too smart to have made
such a "innocent" mistake.  His original reply was crafted too well.
And having been exposed to MrT for a while now, I can just imagine
the thigh shuddering sense of pleasure he had, and (as someone else
mentioned) the trouble he had keeping a poker face throughout.


And, having been hoisted by my own petard, I can only say "Good
job, T, you got me good"....

'Saw

 As the "first lemming over the cliff" all I can say is so what. I've been
 fooled before most definatley will be again. I'm just glad it was a mis-
 understanding on my part because of the pricelessness of some T's noting. 

 Instead of a trial lets have "THE WOODIES".  Instead of the annual NOTY
 "THE WOODIES" would be an all-encompasing awards cermony. Categories
 for best p-names, best factual notes, best junk note, best comedian
 etc.....

 mike

Hawk, you're being a sterotypical male again......      

    Remise?  Conan, you're no barbarian, you're Conan the Librarian !!
    
    re .111
    
    So sorry: There was no analysis in my .0; there was only a series
    a declarative statements.
    
    re: The Trial
    
    You know, the best part a this whole terrible misunderstanding is
    what's coming of the pitchfork movement: You guys are starting to
    look like Dorothy and the Tin Main, Straw Main, and... the Cowardly
    Lion who bellows and thumps his chest but has all the guts of a 
    New England DB.  Haa.
    
    MrT
    

 Hawk, I beg to differ with ya...JB is definately not a stereotype gal...
 she's more like one in a million....

 mike

    Actually I'm feeling downright peachy about the recent turn of events.
    Consider that:
    
    1. I never posted any "We'll miss ya [sniff, sniff], MrT" note
    
    2. I correctly predicted that MrT was lying and, in fact, wasn't
       leaving Digital (see note 17.1921 for details ...)
    
    3. I got MrT to call me a "nice guy" in a personal VMS Phone mail
       conversation, during which he was practically *begging* me to
       throw a teary-eyed note in 184.  I replied by calling him the liar
       that he is.
    
    All in all, a nice turn of events, if I do say so myself!
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    The reason there won't be a trial is because The Trial was the
    penultimate blending of art forms among a group bent on humor.  It was
    a cosmic coming together, for one brief moment (well, not so brief,
    actually) of disparate elements to perfection.  Trying to recreate,
    deliberately, such a serendipitous amalgam of parts is generally
    futile.  Most of us here recognize this on a subconscious level, and
    rather than have a pale imitation of what was once perfection, we
    prefer to let it go.
    
    However, that doesn't mean that I necessarily agree that no wrong was
    done.  Only that the appropriate response is different.  Personally,
    I've decided not to be misled again.  A willingness to impute
    non-malicious motivations is also gone.
    
    A&W  

    Re .121
    
    I cain't forgive you for calling your self Objective_Sports_Analist for
    jumping on the No'Stars B-Wagon with the tirade of Hockey as a sport!
    
    Conan
    

    re .124
    
    A&W, All I can say is, one helluva note.   NOTY as far as I'm
    Concerned.
    
    JaKe
    

    >>I am taking an informal poll as to how ya feel "T"his thing was
    >>presented.
    
    >>If'n ya think that "T" is guilty of perpetrating a major SCAM here,
    >>send me mail with a simple "AYE" reply.
    
    >>If'n ya think that "T" made an honest mistake.....Send me mail with
    >>simply a "NAY" reply.
    
    Total so far:
    AYE: 2,398,761,191
    Nay: 2 (unless you count the "Devlin Family", then it's 5, but "T"
    voted for hisself as a nay.
    
    (8^)
    
    JaKe
    

    Crockmeisterit would be "I was not mistaken" not "was not
    suckered."  Taker care a your choice a words or I'll drag YOUR
    ace into court (again).
    
    re: A&W
    
    Typical intellectual feminism tirade from the root-beer stand.
    
    re: RaKe
    
    No due process; not due credit due.
    
    MrT

    Hmmm.
    T vs A&W,  IU vs.Purdue
    What's that prize, the Old Oaken Bucket
    
    C'mon, kiss and make up, swap a leetle spit and we'll call it 
    The New Tin Spitoon
    8^)
    
    

    A&W, you lost me on penultimate.
    
    Mark.

       What were you doing at the bucket Hawk? I lived a coupla miles from
    there. Had great pizza there!!
                                  Denny

    Old Oaken Bucket,
    Now I'll probably get in trouble becuz of a lack o' facks, but
    I believe it's the "prize" given to the winner of the annual
    Purdue-IU foosball game (or Bball series, not sure)
    
    A&W, T, HELP
    Ain't the Leetle Brown Jug, is it
    
    Dazed and confused
    MikeL
    
     

    Old Oaken Bucket goes to the winner of the Indiana-Purdue football
    game.  Little Brown Jug goes to the winner of the Minnesota-Michigan
    football game.
    
    John

	Hey MorT, I caught that snide remard about New England defensive 
backs.  Well that Pats may stink, but at least here in "manly" New England 
the players and fans brave the elements and not cower from them under a 
roof!  If what the Vikings play ain't Wussball I don't know what is!  The 
Pats will have a chance against those powerful Vikings if the temperature 
drops below 40 degrees, or if we perchance have a brief shower or two.

				/Don

    As usual Mr. Hendry is right.  there are quite a few games like that.
    
    USC and UCLA play for the "Little Old Loaded Uzi" each year.
    
    Pitt and Penn State playf for the "Little Old Case Of Iron City"
    
    North Carolina and South Carolina play for "Little Old Hiemlech
    Manuever Poster"
    
    Texas and Texas State play for "The Ol' Bowl of Texas Red"
    
    Washington and Washington State play for the "Apple Cup"
    
    West Virginia plays itself for the "Little Old Youngest Daughter"
    
    Miami plays Twyla Thorpe for the "little Old GOld Sequined Jumpsuit"
    
    Notre Dame plays Boston College for the "Irish Whiskey Cup"
    
    Oklahoma and Oklahoma State play for "The Little Ol' Spitoon"
    
    Colorado and Colorado State play for 'The Little Ol' Rocky Mountain
    Oyster Jug"
    
    Indiana and Indiana State playf for "MrT's Little Ol' Jock"
    
    JD

    Watchit, Devlin.  Like I said [sic], cheep shots like that show
    all the courage a a New England DB.
    
    The Old Oaken Bucket is just that, with two strings of metal logos
    (P or IU) with each logo representing a win.  While certainly not
    the most prestigious rivalry in college grid, it may be the wierdest.
    Usually the favored team loses, more often than not at home.  Most of
    the time the final game loss costs the better team a bowl bid.  
    
    The Old Oaken Bucket tradition bottomed out when the game was in 
    Bloomington in, oh, I think it was '74.  I was there.  Purdue was 
    heavily favored and hoping for a bowl.  There was freezing rain, so
    us normally sober Hoosiers were forced to drink hard booze for several
    hours on tailgates in the parking lot.  As the game progressed and it
    became a_obvious blowout of the hapless Boilies, whose gold and black
    clad band members, senselessy seated near the student section, began
    tormenting the victorious Hoosier fans.  The authorities moved the band 
    out from their seats in the stands and onto the flat near theend zone.
    
    Finally, IU added another TD late in the game.  The IU student section
    at that point poured over the wall and rumbled with the Purdue band...
    on the field.  The Sunday papers in Indy the next day showed a beaut
    of a picture of the Purdue tuba section, on about the 10 yard line,
    swinging their big horns in self-defense against crazed drunk students
    in horn-to-hand combat... with the lopsided score nicely framed in the
    background.
    
    Haw haw....
    
    Big10 Tom

    Yea and that dang stoopid Golden Girl always had a big butt and
    sunburnt teeth. ""Hi, I'm from Culver City and I just adore men in
    uniform"  Get thee to nunnery and hide thine mascara-streaked,pock-
    marked visage.
    
    MikeL
    8^)
    

    re. .135
    Thanks, John
    I take it that the Little Brown Jug permanently resides in Ann Arbor
    

    183.73>>Careful readers will observe that I never said good-bye to the 
    183.73>>man... this things just smelled way too fishy to invest in a 
    183.73>>good-bye note.
               
    
    Really?  Well, I guess strictly speaking you didn't explicity state
    good-bye or, as you would say, "invest" in a good-bye note, but you
    sure as HAIL thought I was leaving.  See below and let this be a 
    lesson to all Bob "Witch" Hunt readers that you must be veee-ee-ery
    carefuly with his slippery wordology:
    
    
Note 17.1920          Atlantic Coast Conference Basketball          1920 of 1926
SHALOT::HUNT "RIP, KGB."                              9 lines  28-AUG-1991 10:01
                          -< Cain't let this slip by >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Pretty sad stuff here.   Looks like the Soupster's gonna escape come
 this Friday when MrT departs Mother Digital.
 
 T, as a final act of teamwork and solidarity, if you would be so kind
 as to post your complete and definitive set of questions for Soup to
 answer, we will be more than happy to hound him mercilessly until he
 bellies up to the bar and meets the challenge.
 
 Bob Hunt

    The Little Brown Jug (besides also being the name of a Glenn Miller
    song) mostly resides in Ann Arbor although it does sneak up to
    Minneapolis from time to time.  I believe it last resided there in
    1984, when the Wolves went 6-5 during the regular season.
    
    Minnesota has a better football history than a lot of people think.  It
    was a real midwestern power until the early sixties.  Despite the fact
    that it's fallen on hard times, the rivalry (or so I've read) means a
    lot to the Michigan folks.
    
    The rivalry started the way so many of these things did.  On an early
    Michigan trip to play Minnesota, when Michigan was coached by the
    legendary Fielding Yost, the left a water jug behind (or in local
    Minnesota vernacular, Yost forgot his yug).  Michigan asked for it
    back.  Minnesota replied "If you want it, come get it."  Thus, the
    trophy was born.
    
    Other trophies of local note - RPI and WPI in football battle for the
    Transit Trophy while RPI and Union fight for the Dutchman's Shoes.
    
    John

    I think Minnesota knocked off Michigan in '86.
    
    Joe

>  <<< Note 184.143 by ANGLIN::SHAUGHNESSY "Not to say in your face, but..." >>>
>                       -< Misrepresentation Exposed !! >-
>
>    183.73>>Careful readers will observe that I never said good-bye to the 
>    183.73>>man... this things just smelled way too fishy to invest in a 
>    183.73>>good-bye note.
>               
>    
>    Really?  Well, I guess strictly speaking you didn't explicity state
>    good-bye or, as you would say, "invest" in a good-bye note, but you
>    sure as HAIL thought I was leaving.  See below and let this be a 
>    lesson to all Bob "Witch" Hunt readers that you must be veee-ee-ery
>    carefuly with his slippery wordology:
>    
>    
>Note 17.1920          Atlantic Coast Conference Basketball          1920 of 1926
>SHALOT::HUNT "RIP, KGB."                              9 lines  28-AUG-1991 10:01
>                          -< Cain't let this slip by >-
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Pretty sad stuff here.   Looks like the Soupster's gonna escape come
> this Friday when MrT departs Mother Digital.
> 
> T, as a final act of teamwork and solidarity, if you would be so kind
> as to post your complete and definitive set of questions for Soup to
> answer, we will be more than happy to hound him mercilessly until he
> bellies up to the bar and meets the challenge.
> 
> Bob Hunt


Whoa.  Beware of this reply.

MrT could not have written this reply!!!  BEWARE.


No one as astute and as familiar with what is and isn't "misrepresentation"
as MrT could ever have done something as, well, as mundane as 
not see 'zackly what Bob Hunt meant.

Whoever put this reply in, most likely behind an illegal MrT moniquer,
must surely have misinterpreted and misunderstood Bob Hunt.


Someone in here is masquerading as MrT, and I will not have it.  

Rest assured, kind noters, that the Moderators will not rest until
the False T is exposed.  

'Saw

 No sweat, 'Saw.   It's pretty obvious here that I'm just the poor
 victim of a terrible misunderstanding caused by someone who chose to
 read much too much into a simple set of statements.   Here is the
 *true* intent behind the extracted reply in question ...
 
 � Pretty sad stuff here.   Looks like the Soupster's gonna escape come
 � this Friday when MrT departs Mother Digital ...
 
   [ ... and leaves at the end of the day to go home and enjoy his
   weekend cuddled up on his left side with his BobKnight doll.]
 
 � T, as a final act of teamwork and solidarity, ...
 
   [ ... before you LOGOUT and shut off your terminal for the day ...]
 	
 Oh, and this was implied but missing, too ...
 
   [See you on Monday, T.]
 
 See how easy it is to get confused on such simple statements like
 these.   It's okay, T, no need to apologize.   These things happen.
 
 Bob Hunt

Well, my contention, Bob, is that the REAL MrT would not have made
such an egregious error as to misinterpret your reply like that.

Therefore, I really think that we have a bogus MrT in here.  

I've spoken to the Moderators and we're going to look into this.

I mean, first, it's not fair to the noters to have a Fake MrT, and
second, it's not fair to MrT himself, because the Fake MrT could
tarnish the Real MrT's good name.

We'll get to the bottom of this, don't worry.....

'Saw

    Perhaps the real MrT actually did leave and there is a doppelganger
    loose on the net.

>    Perhaps the real MrT actually did leave and there is a doppelganger
>    loose on the net.


Well, I'm sure it's not cable lice, because we've already been swept
clean of those...

I'm gonna do some checking over the weekend, and then maybe I can get
our system mangler to help out....


In fact, Mac, you could be right.  Imagine if the real and righteous
MrT did leave, but some unscrupulous noter managed to fake an account.

He could be in here tarnishing MrT's legacy!


This must be stopped.....

    
 >   Perhaps the real MrT actually did leave and there is a doppelganger
 >   loose on the net.
     
    Naw, only the real MrT would refer to A&W as a typical intellectual
    feminist.  It's him, for certain...
    
    glenn
    

Yeah, we wouldn't want anyone to help the image that it took the real MrT years
to ruin.  I just tried calling his number.  It just rang.  A sure sign that
someone is gone is that their phone mail has been discontinued.  I think you're
on to something Frank.

j.

    
    
    
    JaKe
    

    re. 149
    
    We should be so lucky!
    
    Conan
    

    That's very cruddy, Witch.  I take it that henceforth we may only
    accept your word in the most literal and absolute sense (read:
    this "I never said goodbye to MrT" canarhas damaged your credibility).
    
    MrT

 �   That's very cruddy, Witch.  I take it that henceforth we may only
 �   accept your word in the most literal and absolute sense (read:
 �   this "I never said goodbye to MrT" canarhas damaged your credibility).
 
 Now *that* sure as hell is the pot calling the kettle black.
 
 And *my* credibility is not at issue here.  It rarely ever is, for
 that matter.   After all, I have yet to play any college pranks,
 delete any of my notes, mistake Norfolk for New Orleans, or enter a
 bogus farewell note.
 
 I'm way behind you, T.   
 
 {Go ahead, use that line out of context.  I'll be disappointed if you
 don't.}
 
 Bob Hunt

    >I have yet to delete any of my notes
    
    Again you exhibit the Intellectual Honesty of a 3-way gene splice
    between ACCrook, Dan SnideAir, and Arthur Sulzberger.  You twist
    words to fit your perverted purposes... and leave the Truth in the
    dirt of your wake.  I deleted my notes cuz I was in a political 
    battle and was threatened with notes as one of several cudgel to be
    used against me.  The person made good on his threats, and I have the
    ding in my Personnel File about noting to prove it.  On the brighter
    side, the guy who made the threats was shown the door, but that's 
    beside the point.  Shame on you, Witchmeister!
    
    >or mistake Norfolk for New Orleans
    
    Like a carp, you not only have sunk to the bottom, you actually 
    seek to plumb new depths by burrowing into the slime on the bottom:
    I never mistook the two cities, I only misplaced the basketball 
    game.  But then, the actual Truth has little relevance for a noter
    of your ilk, now does it.  To paraphrase Chubby Checker, "you will
    just twist the Right away."
    
    MrT

 I know *exactly* why you deleted your notes.  And, if you recall our
 private telephone conversations wherein you described the events
 unfolding, I backed you up 100% and wished you the best of luck in
 your struggles.
 
 Shame on you for turning your back on people who wish you well.
 
 �   I never mistook the two cities, I only misplaced the basketball 
 �   game.  
 
 So what ???  A mistake is a mistake.  Big or little, it's still a
 boo-boo, a faux pas, a boner, a little hitch in the giddyup,
 whatever ... *you* blew it, not me.   
 
 As the former First Lady said: "But it's only a teeny-weeny little
 gun."
 
 It all goes to credibility, T.   You question mine, you pay the
 price.
 
 Bob Hunt

    >A mistake is a mistake.  Big or little blah blah blaaaah...
    
    Right right.  But a mistake about where a game was played is
    NOT a geography mistake.  So your statement that my small
    mistake was a geography mistake was, is, a willful MISREPRESENTATION.
    
    This is were you need to tone up your wordology, Bob Hunt: You are
    prone to twisting words to the point where they snap (the Truth).
    
    Just say what you mean and mean what you say and you won't git spanked
    like this again.
    
    MrT

    "(T)ruth is stranger that fiction"
    
    				annon
    
    Oh, my mistake, I thoiught this was the Sports Quote Note.
    
    
    
    Conan
    

 �   Just say what you mean and mean what you say and you won't git spanked
 �   like this again.
 
 Interesting advice from one who authored a bogus farewell note.
 
 And, let no one forget that the infamous "Norfolk" mistake back in
 March 1990 was accompanied by a lot of T-babble that Michigan State
 was the unfortunate victim of hometown ACC refereeing.   
 
 Of course, T conveniently forgets and would have us all forget that
 his little "geography" mistake back then was actually a rather
 embarassing sports rhetoric mistake.   Oh, there's little doubt that
 the Spartans were hosed by the officials but their sad hosing did
 not, in fact, happen in "a mildewed naval port o' call smack in the
 heart of ACC country."
 
 And he questions *my* credibility.   Sad.
 
 Bob Hunt

Couple of thoughts here:

	Shame on you MrT for questioning Bob's credibility.  You know
	yourself that he's one of the *most* credible people in here,
	along with John Hendry and a couple of others.


	Re the "ding" in the personnel file.  I know from personal 
	experience, that if you can prove it was the outcome of a
	personal dislike or vendetta on the part of the other party,
	it can be removed from your file.  I had a similar situation
	happen to me (different reasons probably, as I don't know your
	entire situation) and it took a while, but once the a__hole
	got the boot (and not through the package either but for sticky
	fingers) a couple of folks came forward to help me prove my
	case....  Hey, check it out, it might help....

hth,
'Saw

    >You know yourself that he's one of the *most* credible people
    >in here.
    
    I know no such thing.  What I DO know is that Witchmeister made
    a "mistake" when calculating Sweet16 appearances and left the
    Golden Goofers out a the equation.  I also know that Witch has
    repeated said that I made a geography mistake, a lie he finally
    relented on in .161.  But he replaced it with another one, this
    time saying that I was wrong on ACC officials working the game.
    ACC officals worked the game.  And *he* questions MY credibility!
    
    MrT

 Why am I doing this ???
 
 � What I DO know is that Witchmeister made a "mistake" when calculating
 � Sweet16 appearances and left the Golden Goofers out a the equation.  
 
 Two years ago, from nothing more than my own memory cells, I
 recounted as many and as much of the NCAA Sweet 16 brackets from the
 1980's as I possibly could.   I repeatedly called for any corrections
 from any source at any time.  I did not leave out any team from any
 conference on purpose.   None.
 
 I then calculated a ranking based on *your* suggested 32-16-8-4-2-1
 formula.   When your own formula showed your own beloved Big Ten in
 3rd place behind the Big East and ACC, you then claimed that your own
 formula was worthless because you yourself had said it only "might"
 be used to compute such a ranking.
 
 Boy, talk about twisting words.  Sheet, you pretzeled yourself into
 such a hideous knot that we didn't see or hear from you for weeks
 after that episode.
 
 So, then someone (might even have been you) noticed that I had left
 out a Minnesota Sweet 16 appearance.   I instantly apologized and
 corrected the data and re-ran the numbers.   Minnesota earned a
 whopping 4 more ranking points for the Big Ten and some other
 conference lost those same 4 points.   Same conclusion ... Big Ten in
 3rd place.   John Hendry later came along, armed with a reference
 book, and filled in what few gaps there were and the rankings still
 came out the same.
 
 No dishonesty, no credibility gap, no trickery, no shim-shams, no
 word twisting, no reason to even think about feeling guilty about
 anything ...  End of story.    Your own formula buried your own
 boast.
 
 � I also know that Witch has repeated said that I made a geography
 � mistake, a lie he finally relented on in .161.  
 
 Nice try.   We were teasing you on your "geography" expertise for
 months afterwards.   Everyone knows you know where New Orleans is and
 where Norfolk is.   There was no lie here.  Never was.    You
 mistakenly pissed and moaned about the Spartans loss on an alleged
 ACC homecourt.   The giggles in here were non-stop after that one.
 
 And, come to think of it, wasn't it you who said Philadelphia was on
 the Atlantic Coast and that's why Penn State didn't belong in the Big
 Ten ???   Nah, you're right, your "geography" is just fine.
 
 � But he replaced it with another one, this time saying that I was
 � wrong on ACC officials working the game. ACC officals worked the
 � game.  
 
 Wrong again, Mr Credibility.   I did not ding you for mistaking the
 conference affiliation of the officials working the game.  I dinged
 you for mistaking the conference affiliation of the city and the
 arena the game was played in.   The officials may very well have been
 from the ACC.   They very well may have given Ga Tech's Kenny
 Anderson an undeserved break at the buzzer.
 
     *** But the game was played in New Orleans not Norfolk. ***
 
 The refs may have been home-cooked but the venue was not.   You made
 the mistake on that one, not me.   Your boo-boo, kind sir.
 
 � And *he* questions MY credibility!
 
 Nah, you've done a enough decent job on your own credibility.  No
 need for me to question it.
 
 Sad stuff, T.   You enter a bogus farewell note to get everybody (but
 a wizened few) all misty-eyed and then when you're exposed as a
 SPORTS fraud, you drudge up some old "Greatest Hits Of SPORTS"
 arguments so you can rewrite the history books and call me a liar.  
 Nice.
 
 Don't you have better things to do ???   Ain't it about time you used
 the WardleShooter and shot yourself over into the Twins bandwagon ???  
 Of course, don't forget to tell us how you knew it all along.
 
 Bob Hunt

   It's strange how this note is getting side-tracked.  (Re: pasted several
    entrys)
    
    Hey 'T'!!! How 'bout explaining the following...in easy-to-understand
    plain English?
    
    
    <<< Note 184.0 by ANGLIN::SHAUGHNESSY "Plato,Homer,Voltaire,BobKnight" >>>
                             -< MrT B Gone Too... >-

    A)                   Gone where?
    
    
    > This must be contagious, for MrT too is accepting a_opportunity
    > elsewhere, and next Friday will be it for me.  You won't have
    > poor MrT to kick around anymore.  I'll be working with a small
    > software company. 
    
    B)              What is the opportunity?  Where is 'elsewhere'?
    		    What was 'it' that Friday?  Doesn't this mean
    		    you are here to kick some more?  Are you now
    		    moonlighting in a small software company?  How
    		    do you like it so far?
    
    		    (Pickle self-stroking follows:)
    
    > As I stand on the bluff overlooking the wide vista a accomplishments
    > achieved by MrT/Big10 Tom/Reverend ShagNasty, my ape-furred mainly
    > chest puffs with pride:
    		     
    > * Established fack-based Objective Analysis and its associated
    >   rigors as the preferred modus operandi that we should follow in
    >   pursuing deep discussions.
    
    > * Legitimized the "deep rathole" free a shame and apology.
    
    > * Introduced name-string associations.
    
    > * Innovated and pushed forward the Thompsonesque oeuvre of poeticized
    >   names and titles.  (My favorite?  Louie CarnageSickum, although 
    >   "coach" John Stompshim and his GougeTown Horrors Run DnC was purty
    >   doggoned good too.)
    
    > * As the premier legal mind in this file, I also introduced trade-
    >   marking a intellectual property.  E.g., Sugar Rim (tm).
    
    > * As barrister I brought law and order to a crime-ridden file infested
    >   with crooked contest operators, unindicted co-conspirators, and saw
    >   to it that such malefactors were brought to Justice and this file
    >   could be made safe for families.
    
    > * Established that the Designated Geek is just that and made it clear
    >   just who is the Greatest college hoops coach.
    
    
    
    > I'm gonna miss many a you, forget about most a you, and I steal totally
    > hate the guts a anybody in here who would hate mine!
    
    
    C)			    Miss?  How are you gonna miss anyone?
    			    
    
    
    > Au revoir!
    
    
    D)			    Sounds like French(?)  What does this
    			    mean?
    
    
    What are your answers MrT?
    > MrT

    

 And the saddest thing about this whole T-sham escapade is that he's
 letting the *PRIMARY* prey escape unscathed and undaunted.
 
 While you're wasting everyone's "precious" SPORTS time with this
 sophomoric "I'm Gone ... Hah, Hah ... No, I'm Not" drivel, young Mr
 Knorr has managed to outwait his tormentors over in the ACC note.
 
 You're no closer to getting the answers we all seek to your "Final
 Four" questions now than you were a month ago.
 
 C'mon, T, pull your wet thumb out of your mouth and git back on your
 saddle.   You gots some work to do.
 
 Git 'im ...
 
 Bob Hunt

    re .165
    
    Sorry, Reed-main, I cain't answer these questions given the 
    talk about putting me up on trial, Ollie North-style.  Grant
    me immunity and then... maybe.
    
    re: Witchmeister
    
    There ya go again: Norfolk is not a_ACC town.  Moreover, the
    state a Pennsylvania is on the east coast by any account.  If
    you feel otherwise you better inform the U.S. Navy and any number
    a transoceanic freight operators.  I never said it was immediately
    on the ocean, only identified it as a_east coast state, which in
    fack everybody does.  No one will deny Philly's spot in the lower
    reaches a the Northeast Corridor.
    
    As for the rest a your comments, I cain only continue to marvel at
    your talent for word twistology.  You're the master at that and I
    sit at your feet in that regard.  You might change your socks more
    often, though, cuz you're smelling this place up and you've dragged
    this note down, way down.  I declare peace with you, if only to do
    what you suggest and git back to the no doubt smug ACCrock.
    
    MrT

    I ain't smug, MorT, but I'd be lying if I wasn't pleased to sit back and
    watch your credibility get flushed down the toilet.  Go 'head, post The
    Final 4.  I'll answer in all truth and honesty, and the jury decides
    from there.
    
    
    re: 1Way 
    
    I wholeheartedly disagree with your assessment of "Witch" Hunt as one
    of the fairest and most objective noters in here.  RALPH!!!!!!1111111
    The man is easily carrying the biggest chip-on-his-shoulder of any fan
    in this whole danged conference.  His credibility and objectivity where
    Carolina is concerned doesn't even register, and this is the subject
    he's the most vocal about!  He's also not completely innocent where this 
    whole MrT episode is concerned.  He definitely did post a note over in 17
    which implies he really did think T was H-I-S-T-O-R-Y.  (As opposed to
    myself, who not only didn't put in a "So long, MorT" note, put posted a
    note in 17 saying that he absolutely was NOT leaving!  Heh!!!)
    
    If I were "O" Hendry, I'd be downright insulted!
    
    
    - ACC Chris

 �   I wholeheartedly disagree with your assessment of "Witch" Hunt as one
 �   of the fairest and most objective noters in here.  RALPH!!!!!!1111111
 
 Chainsaw knows credibility when he sees it.
 
 � His credibility and objectivity where Carolina is concerned doesn't
 � even register, and this is the subject he's the most vocal about!  
 
 Nice try, Soup.  Wrong, though ...   If loudness, volume and
 frequency were the yardsticks of SPORTS objectivity, then you'd be
 right.   However, sorry to inform, they are not.   
 
 Facts and their use and/or abuse are the only true measurement of
 credibility and objectivity and, furthermore, I defy you to find one,
 just one, instance where I've willfully misrepresented any one single
 fact, however small and insignificant, about Dean Smith and his North
 Carolina basketball program.    Just one, that's all.
 
 The day I knowingly twist a fact is the day I say "Good-bye".   
 
 Dean Smith has won over 700 games, he's been to 11 Sweet 16's in a
 row, he's won close to, if not more, than a dozen ACC titles, he won
 the 1976 Olympic Gold, he won the NCAA title in 1982 ...   Fact,
 fact, fact, fact, and fact.
 
 He's also lost many NCAA tournament games to clear underdogs.  Many
 more times than he should have.   *** FACT ***
 
 I have admitted one and only one entirely subjective feeling about
 Dean Smith and the Tar Heels.   I enjoy seeing him lose.   To you,
 that translates into " ... the biggest chip-on-his-shoulder of any
 fan in this whole danged conference."   
 
 Who's being objective now, Soup ???   For as long as I can remember,
 you have confused my desire to see him lose with what you think is a
 malicious campaign to spread lies, deceit and falsehoods about him.  
 I've even been called "King Weasel" to prove it.    Thanks for the
 "objective" fair name there, Soup.
 
 Maybe someday you'll find a lie.    I wish you'd give up, though,
 because you're wasting your time.
 
 � He's also not completely innocent where this  whole MrT episode is
 � concerned.  He definitely did post a note over in 17 which implies he
 � really did think T was H-I-S-T-O-R-Y.  
 
 So if I'm not "completely innocent", then what're the charges ???  
 
 Guilty of posting a note that *YOU* think *IMPLIES* what I may have
 thought ???   Oh, that's just great, I'm sure glad I ran smack into
 your system of justice.
 
 You wanna tell everyone how biased and one-sided I am and then you
 turn around and tell us what you happen to think I implied in a note. 
 Brilliant.   Another Icarus who flies too close to the sun.  Better
 quit pointin' that gun at your feet, Soup.   You ain't got that many
 toes left.
 
 For the record, yes, I half-believed MrT when he wrote his original
 "MrT B Gone Too" note.   However, my post-fraud note in this topic
 simply said that "I Never Said Goodbye To MrT".   Read that again if
 you must.   You'll notice that it is a *FACT*.   I didn't say I
 didn't think he was going ... I said I didn't say Good-bye to him.  
 I had enough doubts about it *NOT* to commit to a position.   I
 tasted the bait, swished it around a bit, and then spit it back out.
 
 � (As opposed to myself, who not only didn't put in a "So long, MorT"
 � note, put posted a note in 17 saying that he absolutely was NOT
 � leaving!  Heh!!!)
 
 You, on the other hand, took the risk and called his bluff.   You
 were right.  You smelled the hook inside the worm.   Congratulations.  
   
 �   If I were "O" Hendry, I'd be downright insulted!
 
 Sigh ... Still more "objectivity".   You're not John Hendry, so
 perhaps you might consider asking him if he would be insulted rather
 than assuming it for him.
 
 Bob Hunt

    
    Well, I distinctly remember "SOMEONE" saying Philly being a_EAST
    
    Coast port"!
    
    challenge me....
    
    Kev
    

    Why should I be insulted?
    
    "O"

    No way.  Never said "port."  Never.  But I'm satisfied now that 
    BobHunt has stated he was only teasing me on the geography thing.
    
    ACCrook, lay of BobHunt.  He never said goodbye, he only called 
    out for me to reinput the Final Four.  How could he lose on that?
    If indeed was leaving, he could use them as a platform to reach
    the Final Solution; if there indeed were a "terrible misunderstanding"
    then he could still use them, or view my lack a response aa tacit
    admission that I wasn't leaving, cuz no WAY would I input the platform
    at not be there to see you take the nose dive into the emptpool like
    on that antidrug propaganda TV ad.  Very clever.  BobHunt should apply
    for a job in Ops at the Company.
    
    MrT

> Chainsaw knows credibility when he sees it.

Saw is a fellow weasel with a king-sized UNC axe to grind.  His support of 
you is tantamount to Don King standing up and giving a testimonial on Mike 
Tyson, highlighting his clean living and gentlemanly behavior.

 
> Facts and their use and/or abuse are the only true measurement of
> credibility and objectivity and, furthermore, I defy you to find one,
> just one, instance where I've willfully misrepresented any one single
> fact, however small and insignificant, about Dean Smith and his North
> Carolina basketball program.    Just one, that's all.

Classic "Witch" Hunt tactics.  First he sez facts "are the only true
measurement of credibility and objectivity", then qualifies his own
use (or misuse) of them by sayin' he's only guilty if he "willfully"
misused them.  Hah!  How the hail am I supposed to prove willfullness?
It's impossible, from a legal perspective, so therefore you're 100% in
the clear.  Ya know, I'm beginning to think ole MorT might be on to
something relative to your masterful ability to twist words.  :^(

For the record though, you most definitely have made factual errors
relative to UNC basketball.  The latest example came when you 
incorrectly tried to identify a significant delta between regular season
Carolina winning percentages and NCAA Tournament winning percentages.
YOU said we were around the 60% mark for tourney wins, when the actual
number is 69% - a number which is very high indeed and not that far
below Dean's overall winning %.  (Course, given the fact that the strength
of teams in the tourney is significantly greater than regular season
games, a lower tourney win % should be expected of virtually
every coach in the USA.)


> The day I knowingly twist a fact is the day I say "Good-bye".   

See above, but then again you've got that sneaky "willfullness" escape
clause.  :^(
 

> He's also lost many NCAA tournament games to clear underdogs.  Many
> more times than he should have.   *** FACT ***

Wrong.  Your first sentence contains far too many subjective words
to be considered "fact".  How many are "many"?  Two?  Three?  Some
percentage of overall tourney games?  What's a "clear underdog"?
Exactly what point spread qualifies as "clear"?  How do Carolina injuries
and game-time illnesses figure in?  

Your second sentence is obviously highly subjective.  "More than he should
have."  Relative to what?  Relative to who?  

In sum, the following summary of your paragraph is the only thing that 
could possibly be considered fact:

"He's also lost NCAA tournament games to underdogs."

HTH.

 
> So if I'm not "completely innocent", then what're the charges ???  

The charges are of being deceptive and sneaky.  You've been strutin' your
chest in here, claiming to not have taken the bait, when there's a 
documented account in 17 that you did, in fact, take the bait.  You're
also posting notes claiming to not be sneaky, but the more we read
these very notes the more we scratch our haids and say "Boy, that's
sneaky!".

 
> Guilty of posting a note that *YOU* think *IMPLIES* what I may have
> thought ???   

Listen, you ain't talking to MrT here.  No need to obfuscate about reading
between the lines, blah, blah, blah.  We both know you posted that note.
We both know you thought he really was leaving.  True, you didn't post
a "good-bye" note in here, but how do we know what your motives for that
were.  Maybe you just didn't have enough time to write a teary-eyed
farewell composition.  The courts can't admit "willfullness", only facts.
We've observed that you *do* make factual errors.  We've observed that
you *did* post a note that clearly implied you thought MrT was leaving.
 

> You wanna tell everyone how biased and one-sided I am and then you
> turn around and tell us what you happen to think I implied in a note. 
> Brilliant.   

Doesn't take brilliance - it's obvious.  I can read English relatively
well, despite my American education.  The "brilliance" comes into play when
you start acting like MorT, talkin' 'bout "what I meant" and "implied"
and "what you think I meant".  Haw!  
 

> I had enough doubts about it *NOT* to commit to a position.   I
> tasted the bait, swished it around a bit, and then spit it back out.

How do we know this is true?  You're explaining something that was
allegedly taking place inside your head.  There is no proof, only the
absence of a farewell note, which could've been for any number of reasons.

In sum:

Judge:	"How does the jury find the defendant [Bob Hunt] on the charges
	 of subjective bias against UNC?"

Jury:	"GUILTY."

Judge:	"How does the jury find the defendant [Bob Hunt] on the charges
	 of sneaky noting in regards to the "Farewell MrT" fiasco?

[insert pause and all jurors turn and look squarely at the standing
 and extremely nervous BobHunt]



Jury:	"GUILTY!, your honor." 


- ACC Chris 
    

    Just how does one "strut" his chest?  And to who?  [sic]
    
    MrT

    Aw shut up, willya MorT.  If it weren't for you, me and my buddy Bob
    wouldn't be havin' the current family feud that we are.
    
    FWIW though, one struts his/her chest by walking with arms 
    back whilst puffing chest in an outward and upward direction.
    You see alot of Italian men walking this way (usually while
    wearing muscle shirts) or small-breasted women who're trying
    to portray themselves in the best possible light.
    
    HTH,
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    
    ACC Chris,
    
    	Down where my family is from, that's called "bowin' up".
    
    HTH,
    
    Claybone

 � First he sez facts "are the only true measurement of credibility and
 � objectivity", then qualifies his own use (or misuse) of them by
 � sayin' he's only guilty if he "willfully" misused them.  Hah!  How
 � the hail am I supposed to prove willfullness?
 �
 � For the record though, you most definitely have made factual errors
 � relative to UNC basketball.  The latest example came when you 
 � incorrectly tried to identify a significant delta between ...
 
 Everyone makes honest mistakes, Chris, even me.   I've made many
 factual errors in here and no doubt I've got quite a few more to
 come, too.   I've had to exercise my humility on many occasions.  The
 point is whether or not the mistakes are made with a pre-meditated
 and misguided purpose.
 
 I *thought* I had read that Snuff's NCAA record was 41-27 for about a
 60% ratio.   And then, as I always do, I called for any corrections. 
 You correctly pointed out that it was in fact 47-21 for about 69%.  
 I immediately accepted that and thanked you for the correction.  
 
 Isn't that the way it's supposed to be done ???   Clear as a bell. 
 No "willful" attempt to misuse a fact, just an honest mistake that
 was quickly corrected and accepted.
 
 � (Course, given the fact that the strength of teams in the tourney is
 � significantly greater than regular season games, a lower tourney win
 � % should be expected of virtually every coach in the USA.)

 More excuses ???   Mike Krzyzewski's NCAA winning %age is better than
 his regular season winning %age.  Snuff's is lower.  That is a
 *FACT*.   Whatever conclusions can be drawn from that fact are a
 matter of opinion and do not affect one's credibility.   I think
 Snuff chokes.

� "He's also lost NCAA tournament games to underdogs."

 Agreed.   Lots of 'em.  And I cherish every single one of 'em.
 
� The charges are of being deceptive and sneaky.  
� We've observed that you *do* make factual errors.  
 
 So "factual errors" are now "deceptive and sneaky" ???   Wonderful.  
 Railroad justice at its best.
 
� How do we know this is true?  You're explaining something that was
� allegedly taking place inside your head.  There is no proof, only the
� absence of a farewell note, which could've been for any number of reasons.

 Why do I have to prove what's inside my head ???  You don't have one
 single shred of evidence to charge me or convict me with a single
 damn thing.    Your case would be thrown out of every single court in
 this entire land.  You wouldn't get past your opening arguments
 before the judge would have to toss you out on your ear.   False
 charges, no evidence, and no respect for the law.
 
� Judge: "How does the jury find the defendant [Bob Hunt] on the charges
�	 of subjective bias against UNC?"
�
� Jury:	"GUILTY."

 So, now you've trumped up a whole bunch of airhead charges, you've
 admitted that you can't prove any of them because a person's will and
 private thoughts aren't admissable evidence ... and yet you've gone
 and appointed yourself the judge, the lawyer, *and* the jury and
 convicted me in public without any opportunity for defense.
 
 Thanks.   You've proved my point.
 
 Bob Hunt

    That's puffing one's chest, Crock, *puffing*. As a_apologiest for 
    Snuffy I'd think you'd be this file's expert on puffery.  And leave
    BobHunt alone.  You're barking about this and that but fack is you
    don't have a damned thing on the guy.  He's squeaky clean.
    
    And move this Snuffy bulljive over to 17 where it belongs.  This 
    note exists for the express purpose of saying "hellogoodbye" to Poor
    MrT, Beatles-style.
    
    MrT

    
    Haw haw haw.  MrT's won again.  Bob and ACChris are scrappin' like a
    coupla alley cats over who did/didn't say "goodbye".  Masterful, T!
    
    glenn
    
    
    
    
    

This is a pretty soap opera going on here, the classic triangle:

   Does Mr T really love Bob Hunt and hate ACChris?
   Does ACChris really love Mr. T and hate Bob Hunt?
   Do the three of them really love each other, and are just trying to make one 
    another jealous?

Tuni in tomorrow for another edition of "As the Notes File Turns"

=Bob=

 �   Haw haw haw.  MrT's won again.  Bob and ACChris are scrappin' like a
 �   coupla alley cats over who did/didn't say "goodbye".  Masterful, T!
 
 You're right.   And the saddest part about all of this is that we've
 somehow worked ourselves into such a feeding frenzy in this
 conference that you cain't back down from any kind of a challenge, no
 matter how small.
 
 I should know better but I don't particularly like the fallout that
 happens when I *don't* respond.   Someone says your credibility is
 for shit and deep-down I know I oughtta just gently press {Nexted
 Unseen} and move on but, nexted thing ya know, the silence you leave
 behind is taken for weak consent.
 
 Too much testosterone in this conference.   Has to be a solution.  
 More funny stories about slam-dancing with dead mice would be nice.
 
 Bob Hunt

    No, MrT hasn't won *anything*.  As long as his most recent 'college
    prank' continues to maintain a high profile in this conference (and not
    fade away, as MorT prays it will) there will be no "W's" for MrT.
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    What happened over in 192?  I guess it was to be expected that a note
    with that nut RaKe at the helm would be shut down by the Health 
    Inspectors.  Hey moderators, is there any way I cain repost the mice-
    fire note in here?
    
    re .182
    
    Now *that's* the Crock calling the kettle black.
    
    MrT

    
    Hopefully this is the right place since we really don't have a farewell
    note. (At least I didn't find it if'n we did)
    
    I figure that if'n I don't make at least one GO LOUIEEEE note by
    Friday, somebody may miss me so I thought I'd save disk space by 
    putting in my "au Revoir" note here.
    
    Au Revoir dear friends and sportsters and RON's and to those I've 
    had the pleasure to meet.  Same goes to those I haven't yet met at
    those get togethers - wish ya'd all show up sometime - these folks
    really are a great crew and nice to know.
    
    I'm sorry and apologize to those who I've insulted here and to those
    folks I couldn't find a book for.  I did my best, under the
    circumstances.
    
    I'll miss sports, I'll miss ::SPORTS_91, I'll miss having my day truely
    made with the quick witted barbs of you all.   I'll treasure the
    insightful analysis of Snuffy's latest (non)happenings, JD's updates on
    track and Field, Mac's recent hesitiation to act as a dictatorial,
    opinionated, fascist moderator without appeal, and --dan'l...
    
    --dan'l my main, I'm truely gonna miss seeing your next coup in
    writing!  If there was any way....... :*(
    
    There are so many of you who I consider my brothers and sisters that I
    really don't know how to express how I'm going to feel during my
    absence.  I've got so many memories here....somehow I'll cope with the 
    withdrawal but forward I must go...
    
    
    Well, I tried to keep it quiet but I can't do it any longer.....
    
    I gotta go.
    
    
    remember me...
    
    
    I'm not remaining,
    Kev
    
    
    
    
    
    Till I return from class on Monday!!!
    Yuk, Yuk, Yuk!
    
    hadja going huh?
    
    ;^)
    
    remaining nasty,
    Kev
    

    Now we know why he looks like Silber. He's jest as sneaky as
    Herr Doktor
    
    MikeL
    

    It's been real Kenny.  I'll always root for the Orangemen in your
    honor.
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    
    Huh??

    This topic was definitely the correct place for a sneaky, misleading
    note like that one, Kev.

    	--dan'l

Hey!

Don't get on Kev's Kase.


Any astute reader could have figured out is was just a_innocent college
prank....


Po' Kev!



'Saw

    
    Re igKnorr's response:
    
    I guess I'm not the only one who only reads � of what Farley writes. 
    Goodd thing I read the bottom �!
    
    Brews

     re: .187
      Whos 'Kenny' anyway?
                                           Denny

    Oops, did I call that Farleigh guy "Kenny"?  Apologies ...
    
    
    - ACC Chris

       You might wanna go back and re-read the whole note Chris.
                                     Denny

    Denny,
    If it was Kev's old double spaced style, I could understand!
    

       Kev's gone to single space to save the Co. money!
                                        Denny

    Oh, right.  Talk to ya on Monday Kal ...
    
    
    - ACC Chris

Well, Denny, somebody has to save another $25K since Sims' letter
went out...


'Saw

�       You might wanna go back and re-read the whole note Chris.
    
    Why change now?  He'd lose his inimitable style ~/~

    Wail, Poor MrT is leaving the Company for *real* this time.  I
    ain't tailing a dirty lie like I did last time.  And please
    understand that the only reason I pulled that innocent colege
    prank was to cheapen the departures a Dan and JoJ.  I had to do
    that, I aim sure joe weal understand why.  I had to strike back
    for the way the oily ACCrook deked me into taking the fall on
    that forgery rap so bad.
    
    This Friday is my last day.  
    
    You won't have Poor MrT to kick around any more.
    
    MrT

    He's tellin' the troof.
    
    Mark.

    
    How about some details?  Ya know I'll be the first one to wish ya all
    the best MrT, even with the slightest of reasons to do so, but how
    'bout telling us what'll be your next big venture so I can give you
    proper congratulations?
    
    glenn                        
    

    
    	I'll believe it when I don't hear him no mo'
    
    B.A.

    Ok ok you smart-asses.  Spud just took a gander at my rez letter
    (endorsed by my boss and the personnel guy) and is incoming to 
    vouch, as sady as it is to think of it as being necessary, for the
    integrity a MrT: SPORTS' Objective Analyst."
    
    MrT

    Guys, I think he means it this time.  The letter looked official and
    had the signatures.  
    
    T, I'm gonna miss ya - especially all yer cryin' about how bad your
    rotiss teams are doing.  I'll remember the mano-mano BB matchup,
    the FatBlob-Gopher battles and your joy of tweaking many of these guys
    to death.  
    
    Have a great after-DEC life and let's do a ballgame sometime soon.
    
    
    Spud

    
    Like I said, I'll buy it and offer my best wishes.  I don't want to get
    sappy and risk dan'l's fate at the hands of the absolute comic master, 
    though.  So what're you going to be doing, T?
             
    glenn
    

    Good luck Tman. Where are you off to??
    
    The Crazy Met
    

    Dunno.  Only part I've settled on is that I aim leaving.  I've 
    managed recruiting of OEMs/VARs for two years so I purty much know
    everybody in the biz in town, but I'd rather start up my own...
    
    ... small software company.
    
    MrT

    Not biting fer shure yet... 

    Hey "T",
    
    You going to work for a Minny-soda based adult bookstore chain, eh??
        
    G.R.
    
    JaKe
    

    
    	Seems fitting that you'd go off a quit working for DEC just when
    them thar FORDS are going to win the title this year!  Good Luck in the
    Furture...T!
    
    B.A._objective_race_fan!

I'll believe it when ACC Crock gets in here and offers T his best wishes....

Don't let the door hit yo Ace on the way out T. We wouldn't want you suing DEC
for plate stacking butt disfigurement....


Seriously..if this is for true..best of luck and give me a call if you want to
start a Seattle based affiliate....


Metz

    .15�              -< I'm gonna miss this file.  What a experience... >-
    
    
    	He's lie'in...
    B.A.
    

    Mr T:
    
    You are the best, the Red Smith of the SPORTS notes conference.
    I've will always admire your authorship.
    
    From another OEM puke,
    
    Matt the Mariner
    
    
    

 T, if you really are hitting the dusty trail for real this time, it's been
 a mogambo blast.   Your influence on this forum and its participants is
 immense and unforgettable.
 
 Keep the faith and stay outta dem mildewed naval port o' calls smack in
 the heart of ACC country.
 
 I'm glad we had the chance to party together at Minny's finest TALC venues
 last year.   Definitely the highlight of my autumn excursion into frozen
 tundra land.
 
 Bob Hunt

    	Not to worry MorT, at least you can leave knowing that there
    is a worthy replacement as the file's Objective Analyst [me].
    
    				/Don

    
    Now wait just a darn garl minute here!  I smell a College Prant II
    here.....
    
    Lemme explain:
    
    Dastistical evidence as I understand it:
    1) "T" resigns but says he "dunno" where he's going to.
    
    	Comment: Jest about every Digit I know is poopin bricks over the
    nexted two weeks with all the rumors (undisclosed facts!) of the 
    impending layoffs.  Those who get shot will receive a severence check
    which, IMO could amount to several thousand dollars.  Now *IF* MrT
    wanted to leave DEC, wouldn't it make sense to hang around for a 
    couple of more weeks to see if he was gonna git shot AND, if he really
    wanted to get shot, he could have (ahem) arranged to be one of the
    poor fo'ks by either dropping a few hints or tanking his budget #'s.
    
    2) Friday is his lasted(tm) day.
    
    Comment:  Unless MrT had his wage class changed, he's a w/c 4.  Doesn't
    the Orangebook say that w/c 4's are expected to provide 4 weeks notice?
    Doesn't seem to me that he did.  Of course, if'm he was going to a
    competitor, he'd be history right now with his clothes singed from
    being whisked out the door!  Spud, was he nekkid?
    
    
    Side commentary:
    
    I think maybe once or twice over the 4+ years that I've been here MrT
    or someone else may have mentioned that MrT has a teeny gold ring on
    his lefted hand.  If'n this is the case, how many folks think that
    a spousal unit wouldn't jest let the other unit flat up and go with no
    thought about the nexted meal ticket?  BobH, aren't there micro-T's
    running around?  nuff said.......
    
    
    I remain,
    Doubting Thomas for Kev
    

    Nyah shaddup Kevin.  Everybody in my office knows, so my eminent
    [no sic] departure cain be verified beyond a shadow a a doubt.
    Just axe Spud.  
    
    And /Roachy git out a my note.  You are cheapening it bad.  I want
    this finale note to be dignified and even more misty than dan'l's
    ribald performance over in 73....
    
    Poor MrT

    
    Good luck T, I changed ma personal name in yer honor. 
    Your objectivity will be SORELY missed by us all....
    ahem..and to think I will not be able to hit 'next unseen'
    anymore whence coming acrossed one of those 876 line 
    diatribes on the short comings of Dean Smif. Tis' a 
    sad day.
    
    
    Steve

    
     A flamboyant noter named T
     Said "I be gone soon," did he.
     Thru the door he did pass,
     But it swung 'gainst his ass,
     And broke 16 plates, golly gee!
    
    I don't remember if I wrote something nice in the last "T Be Gone"
    note, but If I did, feel free to cross-post it in this and subsequent 
    "T Be Gone" notes.
    
    Dickstah
    

    What's the difference between Nixon, Steinbrenner and Mr. T?
    
    
    
    NONE!!!!! They are all known as liars!!!!!!!
    
    REK

    
    Based on some private communications I am more than ever suspicious
    that this really is a sequel to College Prank #1.
    
    You-know-who knows what I'm referring to!
    
    I remain,
    Sherlock Kev
    

�I want
�    this finale note to be dignified and even more misty than dan'l's
�    ribald performance over in 73....
    
    I sense a trend.  T wanted to upstage Wardle and Schneider as they
    left, now he wants to upstage dan'l...

This is more suitable.


Steve

       I ain't buyin' it!
                                    Denny

    While I also question why anyone would want to leave on their own
    now instead of waiting a week or 2 and then leave with a bit more than
    pocket change, I really think T's leaving for good this time.  But,
    knowing the craftiness of this particular individual (ie. excellent
    bullshitter), I wouldn't be surprised if he's leaving with a "package"
    too!
    
    Good luck, T.  Aind, like I told ya in mail, if you need a truck driver
    or sumthin' in your new company, I'm the main for ya (as long as you
    buy my house and relocate my family!)...
    
    Hawk, a believer.
     

    It's true... MrT told me this was coming two weeks ago... and he has
    never lied to me.      
    
    MrT took the alternate SERP package - for those people who look
    like they're over 50 and act like they're 15.  
    
    Keep the door open, T, for I may soon be following you.

    He did give up his LBBL rotisserie team... 

        If its true then good luck to ya, and may one day Big Badd John
    fill his loin cloth for you!
    
    	Tim

    just a nit but more food for thought
    
    MrT wrote in .207 (the new receently moved number)
    "...took a gander at my *rez* letter (endorsed by blah blah blah)
    
    IMO  rez could be reservation letter, resume letter (perhaps applying
    for a GEEP program or other academic pursuit program.
    
    Not spelling out "resignation" does leave the door open for officially
    having College Prank II established! N'es c'pa?
    
    I remain,
    still doubtful
    Kev
    

    - I aim leaving the Company.
    
    - I will turn in my DECwreck, badge, keys, Compass, and other
      things DEC to Personnel in my exit interview Friday morning.
    
    - My DTN will be forwarded to my sec'y as of Monday morning.
    
    - My account will be shut down over the weekend.
    
    - Personnel will send out a memo advising other employees of my
      status as a nonDECperson Monday morining.
    
    - To enter the DEC office here Monday and after I will have to 
      be signed in, badged, and escorted.
    
    Poor MrT  

       What does 'Rez' stand for? I was wondering the same thing Kev.
                                   Denny

    Rez is short for resignation.  So rez letter means resignation 
    letter.  For example: "The resignation letter that was countersigned
    by MrT's boss looked real to Spud."
    
    Or, "Spud saw MrT's letter of resignation, and then confirmed with
    several other DEC employees that MrT was indeed quitting."
    
    Capiche?
    
    Poor MrT

    Again from Minny,
    Tales From Lake TBEGONE
                       

>                         -< why cain't I get respeck? >-

Leaving the company ?


How long you been in the CIA. 


I suspec that you are moving offices.  

    You'll be sorry when I aim gone, Riggamottis.  Yeah yeah I know
    how burned you felt about my dirty lie basenote, but this is it.
    
    And hey, cain joe send me a copy a that file joe have?  I'd like
    to retain that for posterity.
    
    Poor MrT

    Ya know, I've been wondering about this "Poor MrT" crap.
    
    If'n he decided of his own free will to pull the plug and become
    a ex-Digit and wasn't forced, tricked, or coerced, where's he get
    off with this sympathy sh*t?
    
    Guy's in here for years, trashing and badmouthing anything and now
    he expects us to feel bad for him?
    
    Hey MrT, I was gonna say "get a life" but considering what happens
    in 36 hours, I'd say it would be pointless!
    
    Now, to make amends,  I hope when you get a life, it's a good one and
    filled with happiness and success.
    
    Kev
    

    Hmmm, it just doesn't seem prudent to be leaving a job without any
    concrete plans for future employment.  I wonder if he's going back to
    school for an MBA but can't admit it after the way he trashed Schneider
    when he left for Columbia...

    
    	In my best Spanish: "Hasta la winnebago"
    
    	In my best German:  "Ourfeetarethesame"
    
    	Latah T.......
    
    Claybone
    
    ps  However, I smell a rat!!!!

    You people are awful.  Here you have a dear friend, Poor MrT, getting
    set to queue up at the Unemployment and Welfare offices and all I aim
    getting is body-slammed and villified.
    
    As I said, check with Spud.  He sits 15 ft. from me and I've been 
    shaking hands and bidding adieu to Digitites hour after hour.
    
    Could it be that you all are in a denial phase, skeert to face life
    without MrT: SPORTS' Objective Analyst?
    
    Poor MrT

                                                            
    > You people are awful.  Here you have a dear friend, Poor MrT, getting
    > set to queue up at the Unemployment and Welfare offices and all I aim
    > getting is body-slammed and villified.
    
    Resigning so that you can collect unemployment?  Come clean, T.  NOW!
    
    I think's he leaving, personally, but even in departure there's
    secrecy, duplicity, and the usual T-like obfuscation.  How 'bout
    lettin' us give you the send-off you deserve, big fella?
    
    glenn
    

    GOOD Riddance!

    REK

    With 'T leaving, personnel will have the opportunity to cut back on
    it's headcount!!!  They'll have one less complainer to support!!
    
    I hope you are telling the truth 'T'.....and good luck on 'the
    outside'!!
    
    
    Nelly

    	Bye bye MorT.  If you're ever in Massachusetts look me up and
    I'll let you buy me a few beers.
    
    				/Don

    ...waitin' for the punchline.
    
    Mark.

    I'm going with prank II
    
    My guess is T is going on vacation for the next n weeks so he won't
    be in the file and everyone will actually believe he's gone.
    
    Jimbo - looking for a Boston Franchise 8*)

    >but even in departure there's secrecy, duplicity, and the usual
    >T-like obfuscation.
    
    Really know how to hurt a guy, eh Glenn?
    
    I'll have you know that when I came into this file you rabble were
    wheeling out of control spouting personal opinions as fact and
    basically doing a poor job of dissecting complicated issues in a 
    methodical manner.
    
    Through my efforts a regime of disciplined scientific-objectivism
    was instituted wherein getting away with such rhetorical crimes as
    duplicity and obfuscation have become virtually impossible.
    
    Oh yes, there's still the bad apple element in here (Midnight, ACCrock,
    REK, /Roach et al) but overall I succeeded in my mission like the new
    sherriff who rides into a dusty flea-bitten frontier town in a state
    of chaos and anarchy being run by bank robbers and highway men and
    turning it into an orderly, clean, lawful, rational, safe place to
    raise children and make clean crisp sports analyses.
    
    In my mind's eye that determined new sherriff looks a lot like a
    certain Bob Knight...
    
    MrT  

    T, how 'bout injecting a bit of mainliness back into this
    touchie-feelie, myn-hugging, sensitivity session?
    
    Mark.

�    I'll have you know that when I came into this file you rabble were
�    wheeling out of control spouting personal opinions as fact 
    
    and you contributed masterfully in perpetuating this.  In fact, I think
    you brought it to new heights.

    	Still mad about that innocent college prank I pulled after the
    AFC Championship game?  I thought you were bigger (figuratively
    and literally) than that.
    
    				/Don

    Mr. T, as in talentless, I will not miss you.  I will not miss you
    endless replies that had hundreds of words but no real substance.
    I will miss hitting the next-seen note everytime I see your
    node name..
    
    REK
    
    Never has a man written so much yet mean so little.....

What I'll miss is this:

	
	1. the Conan story.

	2. the story about the guy with the huge sore on his back
	   that seeped through his sport coat

	3. the diatribe against the feminist about Cindy Crawford...


'Saw

    Geez, REK...too bad you miss your spelling or grammar checker.
    
    :^)
    
    Mark.

    Mark, it'd be unsafe to inject any amount a intellectual testosterone
    in here with girly men like REK blabbering about.  He might blow up
    and start screaming about flying saucers if he saw a pair a ten foot
    in diameter cojones floating in front a him.  
    
    re: Big Mac
    
    You're jealous Mac.  If I body-slammed you too many times I'm sorry.
    Sometimes I don't know when to pull off, this happens cuz when I used
    to spar with SnideAir he stayed on his feet like any good well-paid
    sparring partner (the helmet he wore helped).
    
    Fer chrissakes pick joeself up off the floor and dust off the grime
    willya.
    
    Big10 Bigot Tom

    Btw, everybody keeps speculating that I aim going on vacation 
    tomorrow, so I should confirm that this is a fack: I aim leaving
    for Paris tomorrow evening.
    
    MrT

    MrT, I have never met a main who wasted talent like you did ... you
    will always be remembered as the Dean Baywhine of SPORTS .... as for
    the bad apple element, if it wasn't for me heroic minstrations, of The
    Truth and nothing but, SPORTS would have become a wasteland of your
    excessive verbiage.
    
    In addition SPORTSnoters, MrT knows that I can convict hom of several
    counts of blatant Tpocricy ... especially in the Jerry Glanville case.
    
    MrT - The Nixon of SPORTS ....

    
    T, is your res effective next Friday?  You wouldn't want to give up
    that SP2 check, wouldja?
    
    Brews

>                        -< Somefin doesn't make sense >-
    
    

    'Saw,
       Mebbe you should repost .7 and give MorT the fuzzies!
                                  Denny

>    tomorrow, so I should confirm that this is a fack: I aim leaving
>    for Paris tomorrow evening.
     Vacationing in Texas eh?
                                    Denny

    May Bear, I cain't discuss my, uh, arrangements.  I promised my boss
    to keep my mouf' shut about it and I aim a main a my word.  But you
    are right: it would be stupid to walk from that good SP2.
    
    MrT

    Goin' to Paris, huh? Care to elaborate? Could it be a vacation to
    Paris, France? A_interview with a "small software company" in Paris
    Texas? A client visit/business appointment in Paris, [fill in the
    state]? Any of the above?
    
    Definitely smell a rat here. Maybe I'm grasping at straws, but could the 
    "Res" letter as of Friday mean reassignment letter, meaning T will be
    "leaving" -- leaving the building for another site. It's a shame we
    have to decipher and scrutinize every word, read between the lines and
    leave no stone unturned every 3-4 months or so when this happens. But I
    s'pose it's better than to actually thing Mr. Obfuscation is actually
    being straight and tellin da troof. My instinct would be to say "best o
    luck in wahtever you do," but I have to remain, 
    
    Skeptically yours,
                                   
    Doubting Thomas

    Shouldn'ta cried Wolf so many times!
    

    Mr. T is a known liar..... He does not know the truth if it was staring
    him in the face. Its so hard to tell if there is any truth to any of
    his BS...
    
    I'd be surprised if any one beleived a word of this garbage from the
    Sports trash talker....
    REK
    
    

    So how do you feel about this, REK?

�    Fer chrissakes pick joeself up off the floor and dust off the grime
�    willya.
    
    Pretty funny coming from a guy who never laid a glove on me.

�as for
�    the bad apple element, if it wasn't for me heroic minstrations, of The
�    Truth and nothing but, SPORTS would have become a wasteland of your
�    excessive verbiage.

       He DID say he was turning in his badge!
                                     Denny

    
    If T is simply doing this to gain some attention (as many have already 
    decided is the case here), he is certainly achieving his goal..  
    
    /Jeff

�       He DID say he was turning in his badge!
    
    I need to turn in my badge too
    
    one of these days anyway.  It's falling apart and I could use a new
    one.

      Which badge?  His plastic sheriffs badge that he got with his toy
    guns?
    
      The more I read this the more my stomach gets upset (I ate at DEC
    today).   T should start a soap opera series called "Mr sports
    ANAL"ist :-)
    
      Have fun if your in Paris France.  watch out fur them french men.  I
    have heard horror stories...
    
    	Tim

    
    Hey "T(emporary)!
    
    If you really are going to Paris, remember that in France, a 
    monsoon is *NOT* a french gentleman!
    
    merci
    
    Kev
    

    Methinks it's another in the endless line of "T" scams!!
    
    Either that or he's headed to the local adult bookstore fer a job.
    
    JaKe
    

    
    Why doesn't someone call Mrs. T, wife or mother, whatever.
    Confirm this once and for all!!
    
    
    Steve

    Tim, weren't you listening to Edith Cresson?  The buggerers are
    in London, Paris may be the straightest major city in the world.
    They love their gals over their and know how to handle them!
    
    Mac, did you just imply that I aim black.  *Finally*, after enduring
    years of accusations of being a peckerwood someone finally admits to
    my soulfulness.  As thanx I aim not gonna expose you for what joe are,
    Mac.  Everybody's been hoodwinked into regarding you as the sober 
    Irish Buck when I could unveil skullduggery from you that would make
    me, ACCrook and SnideAir combined look like choir boys.  Your back
    channel operations damaged my emotions and would make Nixon burn with
    jealousy.
    
    Poor MrT

      No

    Where is the outpouring a love in this note?  My work in this
    file over  the years bequeathed two things:
    
    - Strict disciplined scientific objectivism in sports analysis
    - Mainly love
    
    I expect tearful goodbyes and instead it's like I naively walked
    into a room full a guys wearing Harley tee-shirts with the right
    sleeve rolled up to hold a pack a Camels holding sledge hammers 
    looking to party on my emotions laid susceptible by my departure.
    
    Lip quivering and eyes glazed not with fear but a thin sheet a tears,
    I hold my own.
    
    Poor MrT

    Shaddap /Roachy.  YOU are incapable a love!
    
    Poor MrT

    "...I hold my own."
    
    No comment, no suprise!
    
    I remain,
    spelling relief "5:00PM today if not sooner"
    Kev
    

    re: T having no writing talent
    
    REK, if you had 1/10th of 1% of T's talent for writing, you'd be much
    further ahead in your life.  I know I would...
    
    I'll admit that, the 200-liners of years ago were way too much for me
    to handle, but when T cut back to <50-liners consistently, I couldn't
    get enough...
    
    I doubt that this is a prank, but if it is, I'll be glad to see you
    back, T.  Otherwise, this file has lost a major character, like him or
    not...
    
    Hawk
    

Senior T -

I for one am distraught at your leaving.   This file, and all involved,
will be lesser folks, and feel a sense of emptiness when you bid your
final Adios....

What I'm seeing is that most of them are too pent up with emotion - and 
are doing macho posturing - in order to have that warm Manly feeling, that 
folks like you simply exude.

Yes, you will be missed.  Moreso then any of the other departed noters - the
'Pretenders to the Crown' like AirSnide, AccCrook, JoJWaffle, etc.

Good luck.  Au Revior.   

C'est Curieux.   C'est horrible.  C'etait formidavle.  Je me suis bien
amuse'.  Ou' nous retrouvenrons-nous?  Et vous T?  A tout a' l'heure.
Vous tres beau et interessant et magnifique.   Allez tout droit, Mssr. T. - C'est
ca.  Je suis desole' - AU SECOURS!  Bonjour.  Bonjour.  Au Revoir...

JD

    
    Poor MrT, looking for some sympathy.
    
    HA HA HA HA!! Put down the quiche man! 
    
    Someone call Alan Alda quick! 
    
    
    Steve
    
    

    Mr T -
    
    I always enjoyed your writing.  I enjoyed being your running mate for
    NotY a couple of years ago.  I'm sorry we never met.  I'll miss you.
    
    John

    Hawk, if you believe 1/10 of the garbage that t writes then I have
    a bridge over the ocean I would like to sell you...
    
    REK
    
    Quanity DOES not make quality.. t proves that every time he writes....

       Good Luck T-main! If you're ever up in this neck a the woods get a
    holt of somebody so we can let you buy us drinks for having to read all
    your stuff! I for one will miss your ravings. That is, of course, if
    you're really outa here. 
                                      Denny

And as the sun shines solemnly over OURGNG county, a solitary figure
exits the Digital facility, sans Badge.  In his hand, his briefcase,
filled with memorabilia of his tenure at Digital.  Rolled up under his
other arm, his poster of Bob Knight.

The man walks slowly, quietly reflecting, towards the train station.
The train has just pulled in and he has an outbound ticket.


For a moment, the residents of OURGNG County take pause, feeling a small
rent in the fabric of their lives, and the man boards the train.  In
the outlying areas, the howl of Chainsaw's wolf breaks the still air,
a plaintive cry of goodbye.


AS the man looks out the window, taking a last view of OURGNG County, 
his eyes stop upon a solitary figure on the platform.  Suddenly, the
figure steps up on a piece of luggage, looks at the man, eyes misting
over, and says "Oh Captain, my Captain".

The train builds up steam, and pulls out of the station, rolling towards
destiny......


Slowly, but not quite the same, life begins again in OURGNG County.....

       Yeah, only MorT could catch a train ta France!
                                             Denny

            
    There will never be another...
    
    Trying oh-so-hard to give you that mainly love you've been begging for, 
    MrT, but you just won't accept it.  Where ya goin' so we cain look out
    for ya down the road?
    
    MrT speaks the truth on objectivity.  Thought he'd given it away
    completely after that latest Elway and his G-string episode, but no, 
    being the big man that he is he finally showed his strength and came 
    clean... 
    
    glenn
    

    HAHAHA,
    What ah want to know is theeese. Whilst T is readin' all this
    and typin' with his right haind, wonder whar his lefted haind is?
    
    MikeL
    
    His erstwhile p_name says it all
    

    MrT, it truly won't be the same next college basketball season without
    you!  
    
    I believe there is a special bond between Wildcat fans and Hoosier
    fans.  We love to bash each others teams, but there defintely exists a
    respect for the tradition each team brings to the table.  I'll miss
    arguing with you this year.  Good luck!  BTW, there will certainly be
    some great matchups between UK and IU over the next few seasons.
    
    Go Big Blue
    
    WILDCAT

    MrT,
    
    In honor of your depar*ure from Digi*al, I have decided *o no* use *he
    le**er "*" in any more no*es for *he res* of *he day.   I am replacing
    *ha* le**er wi*h an as*erisk, also known as "s*ar," because, you, *om
    Shaughnessy,  are a *rue s*ar in *he his*ory of SPOR*S.NO*E.  
    
    You s*omped Dan Schneider in*o a oily pas*e;  you sen* Chris Knorr
    scurrying under *he desk in his cube, afraid *o come ou* and face
    reali*y;  you didn'* wri*e any*hing abou* rugby;   in your fiery 
    ba**les wi*h Waugaman you.... uh... uh... uh... never mind.
    
    Jus* remember who go* you *hrough *hose early years of Ro*isserie
    baseball...  
                 
    
    *a*a, *!

    That's right Waugamain.  John Elway is a unrepentant bum who has
    caused me too much pain over the years.  Give me Dan Marino in a
    Orange & Blue uniform and you got one happy NFL fan.
    
    Isn't it something, Glenn, how similar you, JHendry (hi John) and
    Poor MrT are in terms of delivering only well-reasoned fact-based
    substantial meaty analyses?  The similarities between the three a
    us was uncanny; sometimes when I read you or John (bye John) I couldn't
    discern which of the three was doing the writing.
    
    re: Chainsaw's train allegory
    
    You forgot one part, Frank...
    
    ... pulling out a the station the train runs down Dan SnideAir.  That's
    what happened when he ran into MrT; he got mowed down train accident-
    style.
    
    MrT

So T, now that you're leaving and having already bared your soul on the
Big Bad John Blunder, tell how you really feel on all those other issues.

I mean seriously, does the Designate Geek rule really steam your clams?
Do you really intensely dislike Dean Smith? And what about that kid that
was banned from the little league? And, of course, please tell us how you
really feel about Westhead and his "handling" of Hank Gathers.

I'm sure there's more.

So many social engagements, so little time...

TTom

    We were going *o ge* you a really nice going away presen*, Mr*, bu*
    since you did no* s*ay un*il *he end of *he fiscal year, Digi*al 
    rules do no* allow us *o give you any*hing.  
    
    If you need a phone number for Moochy Ma** *o commisera*e, dial
    1-800-NOHEAR*. 

�Everybody's been hoodwinked into regarding you as the sober 
�    Irish Buck 
    
    No wonder everyone misspells my name. They are confused over my
    heritage.

    So T is "holding his own," off to Gay Paree in search of Manly love...
    
    Wail, I guess if'n you really are leavin' good luck to you. Seriously,
    what are you going to be doing in Paris, and is it Paris, France? There
    are a few "small software companies" there if'n yer lookin fer work,
    'cept they call it "logiciels." Computers in general is "informatique"
    and the boxes themselves are "ordinateurs." You might need to know
    these woids if'n yer sellin them. I dunno how easy it is to get a work 
    permit, though. On second thought, wif a name like Shaugnessey, you can 
    prob'ly prove you've got an Irish ancestor, and for $25 you can get 
    a_Irish passport (wifout giving up yer 'Mercan citizenship) Since Ireland 
    is part of the EC, you cain live and work in France jest like you was a 
    wine-drinkin, beret wearin, goatee-faced Franshman, n'set-ce pas. 
    
    A tout a l'heure, monseur T

    
    'Saw, there was one other piece you left out and I believe
    THIS would be a_real happenstance by his persona.
    
    "As he slowly climbed up the steps onto the train, a momentary pause
    was seen.  MrT then quickly whirled around, his suitcoat opening up
    from the sudden movement.....he faced us and suddenly....
    
    
    
    Flipped us the bird!!!!!!!
    
    
    ;^)
    
    whattya think?  Wouldn't he do one last taunt?
    
    I do
    
    Kev
    

    
    Sitting at a cafe along the Champs Elysses, the ooze seeping through
    the back of his sportcoat and staining the white chair, our hero takes
    a sip of his Boujolet and and exlaims, "Oooh-la-freakin-la."
    
    Dickstah
    

Cain somebody parse .300 for me?
    
    Mark.

>    Sitting at a cafe along the Champs Elysses, the ooze seeping through
>    the back of his sportcoat and staining the white chair, our hero takes
>    a sip of his Boujolet and and exlaims, "Oooh-la-freakin-la."
    
Dickstah, 

I've got to go change my shorts now.  TOO funny. 

That had to be one of my all time favorite MrT stories.....


'Saw    

    	'Saw,
    
    	OK, I'm always one for a good laff. What MrT story?
    
    	I'm waiting with bad breath,
    
    	Scott

>    	'Saw,
>    
>    	OK, I'm always one for a good laff. What MrT story?
>    
>    	I'm waiting with bad breath,
    

Geez, folks, when they make you a moderator, they don't make you
omniscient too!  8^)

All I can say is see topic title.....


'Saw


;^)

    Tomas,
    
    Ta uaighneas orm go bhfuil tu ag dul amach ar an dhomain
    
    Go n'eiri an bhotair leat, agus slan leat
    
    micheal o'laoire
    

    
    >>Isn't it something, Glenn, how similar you, JHendry (hi John) and
    >>Poor MrT are in terms of delivering only well-reasoned fact-based
    >>substantial meaty analyses?
    
    My, My, a legend in our own mind, aren't we, "T"??
    
    One difference, too many of your "facts" are seemingly contrived in
    your own imagination.  At least Glen and Ninj will back it up if asked
    too, with you, it's never, I repeat NEVER been backed up by stating
    sources.
    
    Don't let the door hit ya in the brai...er I mean butt on the way out.
    
    JaKe
    

� God bless, MrT...

And God Bless us all - every one.             8^)

Aren't you gone yet T?

It's a shame you leaving without the title you've craved for over the years.

Of course I'm talking about NOTY....

When you're old and decrepit and telling tall fibs to your great grandchildren
I'm sure you'll distort the truth as you've always done and tell them of that 
1 year where you paralized the sports noting community with your verbiage and
won NOTY....of course in your heart you'll know the emptiness of never winning
the title....

Bob would be ashamed at your quitting without any hardware....


HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHO

I still don't believe it because IggKnorr hasn't stopeed by to deliver his 
parting shot...


Metz

WHAT!!! NO FAREWELL NOVELETTE???????

DARN!



Steve

    Is he officialy gone????
    
    Dare I dream?
    
    
    Nelly
    

    Well, he's still listed in ELF, and they usually delete people from elf
    right away if they leave.....

       Mail to 'him' also got through, so his account is still alive.
                                      Denny

    I just talked to a good friend of mine in the Mini-Apple.

    MrT is ...
    

    ... definitely gone from DEC.

    So long T-main, it was a hell of a lot of fun.

    Doc

    Care to elaborate? Seems there were enough questions in his original
    explanation. What is he doing then? Until we know the *real* story
    we'll just have to envision him sitting at a sidewalk cafe, bantering 
    with a waiter, who is merely humoring him as he grovels for a good tip: 
    
    <<Well, but of courze, Monsieur T, I ave to agree, Bob Knight eez a 
    jeen-YOUS! I know ow you telled dem guys in spoertz, but dey wood not 
    lees-een! You are zee only objective spoertz analeest, and now dat you
    are gone, dey will only preciate you now. I tell you, Snuffee Smith was 
    ere jus last week, and eet ees good dat I know de 'iemlich manouver, 
    'cause e was choking on a cheek-een bone. Ah c'etait terrible!>>
    
    Tom 

    Why do I have this feeling of deja vu?  I can't help but think of the
    Cheers episode where Sammie's arch enemy, Eddie (?), the owner of the
    rival bar, dies....yet Sam refuses to believe it!!  Thru the entire show
    Sam does things like trying to open the casket, scratching at the loose
    soil at the grave site to dig him up...etc....and just when he FINALLY
    gives in and BELIEVES Eddie (?) to be dead........here comes
    Eddie(?)!!!!!
    
    
    So as to keep T away....I will never pull a Sam and believe that T is
    gone!!!    I know you're out there, T....stay out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    
    Nelly 

    > I just talked to a good friend of mine in the Mini-Apple.
    > MrT is ...
    > ... definitely gone from DEC.
    > So long T-main, it was a hell of a lot of fun.
    > Doc
    
    So, if he's really gone, then what in the hail are ya talkin' to him
    for?  This reminds me of a JoJ spiel of a couple a years ago that put
    an end to the congratulatory notes to teams winning a champeenship. 
    Personally, I got a kick out a notes like, "Congrats Dodgers, you
    deserved to win.  Congrats Orel for the MVP."  :-)
    
    Hawk
    

       Nelly:
       It was Gary from Gary's Olde Towne Tavern.
                                    Denny

Whoa,

This whole thing is just bad karma, man.  It's got to be.

I mean, lookit what happened to dan'l a couple of weeks back, then
me.   MrT leaves on Friday.

Saturday evening, a foggy, windy evening, one of our LifeStar helicopters
clipped a power line while attempting a landing at a rest area to 
pick up a fragmented motorcyclist, and it crashed.  The flight nurse
who died was a friend of my brother's.


Like John Fogerty said "There's a bad moon on the rise"......


'Saw

    Actually, my friend works down the hall from T, and she knows him as
    Tom S. not MrT ... she volunteered the info for me, before it occured
    to me to ask her.
    
    I doubt that she would go in on any of T's scams, but I could be wrong.
    But as far as I know, he is history.
    
    Doc
    
    p.s. You know, MrT mus be enjoying this Elvis-like demise.

    The T-main probbly got axed because IgKnorr ratted to his manager about
    how much time T was spending in notes. 

    Just FYI, Doc DOES know someone else up that way, who isn't T or Spud.
    Now, maybe she's in on the scam, I don't know...
    

MrT was very serious with me in mail about it.  He even gave me his
home address, and told me that sometime he'd be in the New York area
(to see guys like JoJ and Conan the Librarian) and that he'd party with
me in Manhattan.

I told him I was just a country boy, but that I guessed I could find the
train in New Haven which goes to New York City.



I think he meant it.  Just a feeling, but I do think he meant it.



Just won't be the same....kinda like the Andy Griffith show without
Floyd the Barber....


'Saw

       Maybe you could pick T up in the limo on the way to Schneid's, 'Saw!
                                              Denny

>       Maybe you could pick T up in the limo on the way to Schneid's, 'Saw!
>                                              Denny


Only if we have a limo driver.  I don't want to drive in Manhattan.
I'm sorry.  I have enough problems driving in Boston.   It's not that
I *can't* do it, I just don't LIKE to do it.  

Manhattan has to be 1000 times worse than Boston, from what I've seen.....


Boy, wouldn't it be great to see the look on Dan's face when we, with 
T in tow, show up at his door!


'Saw

    Have any of you guys seen this week's edition of Weekly World News?
    
    Headline says the Captain of the Lusitania was picked up out of a
    lifeboat and that there was a guy named Shaughnessy mwith him who kept
    trying to convince the Captain that Bobby Knight would save him as long
    as he BELIEVED.
    
    Reporters on the scene state that the Captain and this Shaughnessy guy
    will go to Idaho for job interviews at the Boise 7-11 stores.
    
    

    Ooh Chainsaw, that's, that's too baaaad...
    
    -Floyd

>    Ooh Chainsaw, that's, that's too baaaad...
>    
>    -Floyd


Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy..... 8^)



Old Floyd, don't photograph my legs, The Barber.   Actually, his nephew,
Brutus The Barber Beefcake used to wrassle in the WWF.....


8^)

'Saw

       Were they related to Sal 'The Barber' Maglie?
                                      Denny

>       Were they related to Sal 'The Barber' Maglie?
>                                      Denny



2nd Cousins.

    Rememebr that SNL show in the Murphy-Piscopo era that had Ron Howard as
    a host ? 
    
    In skit he goes back to Mayberry RFD about 10 years after Andy Griffth
    died in a fishing accident. 
    
    Turns out that Floyd (Eddie Murphy) was black, but hid it all along with 
    paint, Goober was gay, and the barber shop was a martial aids store.
    
    It was highly roooolwaard.

    Hey folks I placed all the lost classic "T"isms in .32 
    
    Jeff

    I just realized that T left before anyone could serve him some Crow ala
    McGwire...

    re: driving in Manhattan, worse than Boston
    
    Yes and no.  It's easier to find things/places in Manhattan where it's
    square blocks as opposed to Boston's random layout, but you cain forget
    about parking in NYC.  Boston's bad, but at least you can find
    something with a little time, patience, and persistence.  Driving-wise,
    it's pretty even.  Driver's are crazy.  I'd have to say that the
    conditions of Boston's streets are in much better shape than NYC's,
    where it's potholes galore.
    
    But, I couldn't pick a better place to party down than NYC.  Want a
    drink at 3:30am?  Or, perhaps some Chinese food, or a pizza, or rent a
    video, or buy a cd, or just hang out at 3:30am?  NYC's open 24 hours a
    day, 7 days a week.  Boston goes to bed at 1am...
    
    Hawk
    

    I know, I know...apostrophe alert...  :-)
    
    Hawk
    

    re .349
    
    You have a point Hawk, but having driven several times in Manhattan, I
    must say that traffic isn't as bad as I thought it would be (no
    gridlock horror stories to tell - knock on wood). 
    
    And the drivers in NYC are much better than Boston drivers, who I find
    to be the most rude and ignorant drivers on this planet.

    Here is his home address (he ordered a tape from me):
    
    Poor MrT
    5510 Southwood Dr.
    Bloomington, MN  55435

    MrT was pretty serious in mail he sent me along with his home address
    and phone number.
    
    re: Manhattan vs. Boston driving.
    
    Having grown up in Manhattan and being in Boston for 4.5 years, some
    observations:
    
    Driving in Manhattan is relatively easy; it is laid out in a grid
    (mostly) and that makes life pretty easy. If you make a wrong turn in
    Boston, forget it. Drivers in Manhattan can be rude, but mostly they
    are fairly good drivers. In Boston the drivers are unpredictable.
    Best example is in NY if I see a car in another lane I can usually
    predict if they are about to cut over a lane or 2, and they usually do
    the predictable (even if they don't signal first); in Boston there
    seems to be nothing predictable aboiut what drivers will do.
    
    Summary: driving in Manhatta is easier than in Boston.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

TCM,

I'll give you that.  Definitely.

I used to make a weekly trek from Hartford to New Rochelle.  After
a couple of weeks, I got to understand the rules as I'd head down
684 to 287.   A mass of cars would be travelling at approx 70 mph
and if someone want to change lanes, they'd quickly signal, and
move in on you, leaving about a foot of clearance.

After I knew the rules, I began to enjoy the ride for that aspect.

However, one day, after I got back into CT, and forgot to change
my rules of the game, and I changed lanes.  The guy behind me had
the world's biggest fit.   I never forgot to change rules at the
border again.....



BTW, the Connecticut Legislature gave Shamu the Governor a BIG message
yesterday.  Included in a big batch of bills (SIX I think!) that they
overrode his veto on, was the legalization of radar dectectors.

After 1 Oct 1992, they'll be legal to use.



'Saw

       ...the same Gov. Shamu who won the "Profiles in Courage" award from
    a gaggle o' Kennedys? What a joke THAT was!
                                          Denny

>       ...the same Gov. Shamu who won the "Profiles in Courage" award from
>    a gaggle o' Kennedys? What a joke THAT was!


I would endorse that award if he'd have come in the FRONT entrance the
day they had the anti-tax rally...


But he came in the side door.   Guess he's got no test-tik-kals!



'Saw

    'Saw
    
    AWRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
    
    That made my day. No longer having to worry about hiding my radar
    detector in CT on the way to NY. 
    
    The Crazy Met
    

       Radar detectors are also illegal in NY! Sign at the state line says
    so.
                                   Denny

>       Radar detectors are also illegal in NY! Sign at the state line says
>    so.

Sign may say so, but currently all the information says that radar
detectors are illegal in Virginia, Connecticut and (I think) Washington DC.

After 1-Oct, they will be legal in CT....


'Saw

    Where is there a sign that radar detectors are illegal in NY? Only
    signs I have seen to that effect are when entering CT.
    
    The Carzy Met
    

    Denny has trouble telling CT and NY apart.....
    
    REK

    ...don't we all!
    Anyway, I saw the sign on I 84 or I684 heading West. Whichever a those
    2 roads goes into Brewster NY.

>    ...don't we all!

Hey Denny!

CT and NY are way different.  Way, way, way different....8^)


'Saw

    I thought that was only on trucks...
    

    re: .363
    
    Thank god they're different.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

>    Thank god they're different.
    
Hey.  Connecticut is a nice little state.

Granted, the politicians who run the place a flaming a**holes, but
for the most part, it's a very pretty state.

I've always felt that, in a way, Connecticut is like a miniature New England,
in that it has everything the rest of the New England has, only on a 
smaller scale -- mountains, seashore, nice forests.

There are not too many other places I've seen in the US that I'd feel
as comfortable as I do here.


But, that's just my opinion....

8^)

'Saw    

    I like Connecticut too, it's the Huskies I hate.  :-)
    
    Ninj

       Hey Frank, everybody's gotta live SOMEWHERE!!
                                     Denny  8^)

>       Hey Frank, everybody's gotta live SOMEWHERE!!
>                                     Denny  8^)


Just remember

	Wherever you go, there you are.   8^)


I like it Denny.



'Saw


PS  Denny, Electric Blue (exit 68) is alive and well, with some new talent.

       We'll have to stop there on our way to the Broon-Whale manis nexted
    year! Right?
                                      Denny

Right!!!!!


'Saw

    re: .366
    
    > I've always felt that, in a way, Connecticut is like a miniature New
    > England,
    > in that it has everything the rest of the New England has
    
    That is its biggest problem.
    
    The Crazy Met

       Isn't Conn. a lot like...well, you know!
                                     Denny

    re: .373
    
    CT takes the worst of NY and New England.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

    Hey TCM,
    As the saying goes, I love NY, it's the City I hate? ( or was it the
    Yankees and Mets?!)
    
    MikeL
    

    re: .375
    
    Careful you're starting to approach that zone where we take people out
    and put 'em in front of firing squads :-)
    
    The Crazy Met
    

    Nope, I never stay at the Penta. The Marriot Marquis is on DEC's
    approved hotel list for NY. 
    
    We actually prefer to wake people up at 2AM and then make them wander
    alone through Bedford-Stuyvesant; then if still necessary we put them \
    out of their misery :-)
    
    The Crazy Met

Well, I like Connecticut.


There's a lot of history here, and a lot of cool things to do.  


So there!


8^)

'Saw

    > Well, I like Connecticut.
    > There's a lot of history here, and a lot of cool things to do.
    
    Sawmains, what's the name of that park again that's right nexted to 
    your house?  :-)
    
    Hawk
    

    re: .380
    
    No you got that all wrong. New Jersey is either a gateway or exists
    so it can separate New York and Philadelphia.
    
    .5  ;-)
    
    The Crazy Met
    

    
    
    You don't need a Radar Detector in CT.  They've banned the use of 
    radar GUNS there due to evidence linking Radar gun operation to 
    Cancer..  I saw it on the news a few nights back..  kinda obvious that 
    there is a link as one officer had a massive re-occuring tumor on his 
    thigh, right were he used to set his radar gun when he wasn't shooting 
    motorists with it.   Naturally, the gun manufacture denies any link.  
    
    /Jeff 

       They only decided not to use the hand-held models. The window and
    dash mounts are still being used.
                                    Denny

    
    OK Denny, I musta missed that detail...  
    
    They also have the stationary units that take your picture down there..
    Kinda useless against vehicles without front plates though!   
    
    /Jeff

So why have radar detectors?  To aid one in breaking the law?  that's the
only reason, except for maybe personal vanity.

Except in dire emergencies, there's never a reason to drive as fast as I
see lots of folks.  Should learn to slow down and enjoy life, and not get
all stressed out racing about.

IMO, anyone caught with an radar detector should be thrown in jail and fined
a couple of thousand bucks.

JD

    I'm also against radar detectors.  Although I agree that the speed
    limits in many areas are much too low, especially major highways like
    the Mass Pike, 495, and I84 in CT, however, the tolerances allowed for
    excessive speed before they start nailing people with tickets are
    usually very generous, and like JD said, there's really no reason to go
    any faster than that.  For example, you're pretty much allowed up to 70
    mph on the major highways up here, which is 15 mph over the limit, or
    27% above the limit.  Do 71, and you'll get nailed if in the wrong
    place at the wrong time.  And, considering the congestion on these
    major highways during rush hours, and even in between, 70 mph is
    plenty.  Sure, 70 mph may seem a bit slow in a 1992 technomobile at
    11pm, but, what else d'ya want?
    
    And, as far as I'm concerned, if you get a ticket, you deserve it,
    IMHO.  I'm not talking about getting one for doing 56 in a 55 mph zone
    either.  In fact, as some of you know, I got a ticket for doing 72 in a
    55 as I was anxiously going to a ::sports noters get-together.  No
    contest, my fault, and I paid it.  Heck, the occifer even gave me a
    break on it- only wrote me up for 65 so that I only paid $50 instead of
    what I really should've paid ($170!)...
    
    Hawk
     

      I think the title of this note needs to be changed......

    
    Where are these mountains in Connecticut?  I'm looking for a
    challenge... ;-)
    
    glenn
    

    What a buncha pandering do-gooders.
    
    Radar detectors are legal because "air" waves are public domain. 
    Period.  If someone is using these waves to monitor your behavior,
    legal or otherwise, YOU have a right to know.  
    
    It has nothing to do with speeding.  Would you want your right to
    detect someone using surveillance on you removed?
    
    Mark.

    nice try Markie Mark, but you need to make up some new words too to
    give it that T effect.

    
    1. Well lets see. The FCC says that the airwaves are public. Therefore, I
    can monitor those airwaves, if I want. Based on that alone there should
    not be laws banning radar detectors. FWIW in the last few years if you
    got a ticket in CT for using a radar detector and challenged it in
    court the DA dropped the charge because they did not want the law
    challenged in court.
    
    2. The speed limits on the Interstate highways are quite low given the
    roads and the cars that we have today. Speeds were as high as 85 in
    the South before 1973 and were "a safe and reasonable speed" in the
    salt beds of Nevada before then. Todays cars are generally better,
    safer, and have things like air bags and Anti-lock brake systems. Look
    at I84 or the Mass Pike at 11PM and traffic is moving at 70+ miles an
    hour. Most people do not drive like out and out maniacs but at a
    reasonable spped based on road conditions, etc. So good riddance to
    laws banning radar detectors. If I get caught speeding, I'll pay the 
    fine but I will use every tool I can to not have to go at the
    unreasonable limits that are in place on many highways.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

Mark -

Oh gee.  Yeah right.  I bet less than 1% of the folks who buy radar detecters
are concerned with public airwaves.  ALl they want to do is beat the law.

No doublespeak is gonna change that.  

TCM -

Seeing the totally assnine way people drive, I can't agree with your the 
speeds  are too low.  If folks knew how to drive - you know, no tailgating,
use of turn signals, no cutting off, no driving in break down lanes, 
no dangerious high speed bobbing and weaving - then I might agree with you.

However, IMO, the vast majority of speeders are total asses with no common
courtesy or regard for anything or anybody but their selfish souls.  Sorry.

There's no reason to drive 90.  Of course, I don't believe that car makers
should be wasting time and money designing cars that go over 90 or 100 miles
per hour.  Give me a car that goes 65 and gets 100 MPG and doesn't pollute, over
speed or sports cars designed to massage the egos of those with no confidence
in the dangling thang.

JD

>    You don't need a Radar Detector in CT.  They've banned the use of 
>    radar GUNS there due to evidence linking Radar gun operation to 
>    Cancer..  I saw it on the news a few nights back..  kinda obvious that 
>    there is a link as one officer had a massive re-occuring tumor on his 
>    thigh, right were he used to set his radar gun when he wasn't shooting 
>    motorists with it.   Naturally, the gun manufacture denies any link.  
    
Don't be fooled.

They still use radar.  It's just attached outside the car, and believe me,
it's damn hard to spot, because they are using Mazda MX-6s, Mustangs,
Corvettes, and other "normal" cars beside the highway now.

At this point they also have one or two of the new laser guns....


Smartest thing they could do would be to set the speed limit to 80, and
start catching the damn drunk drivers....


'Saw

I've got a detector.  It cost me $40 added to a ticket one time, but I figure
in the time I've had it I've saved myself over $2000 in speeding fines.

How fast do I go?  Usually between 65 and 70.

Hawk, in CT, they'll nab you if you're over 60.  Believe me.


Now, here's my cut at it.  


The Interstate system was designed for 70.  Tests on drivers with covered
speedometers have shown a consistent gravitation to the 70 mph range
on the Interstates.

Since the pike has raise the limit to 65, I rarely do 70, I'll do 65, 
and most folks are the same way.  Sure there's always the guy who
does 90, but that's rare.


In CT, the stretch of 84 from Vernon to the border could EASILY be 65.
There's a bunch of 91 that could be too.   Problem is that it's like
anything else.  The damn politicians talk of safety, but a speed limit
that low is a major revenue booster for the State....


I still go 65-70, and I still have my detector.  If I went 55 it would take
me an hour to get to work.  The difference between 60 and 40 minutes
is a really big one in my life, believe me....


'Saw

    JD,
    
    Boy the Olympics thing must really have you worked up you seem to be
    exagerating everything this week. Yeah 90MPH is a maniacal speed to
    drive in most areas. But c'mon man we're talking 70-75 and you can't do
    that legally anywhere in this country. I have drive on the autobahns is
    Germany and even going 120MPH felt safe. The roads could take it, the
    car could take it, and yes the drivers were much better behaved than
    US drivers (no passing on the right, etc.) 
    
    Someone going 90 on rt 128 at 5PM should get nailed for reckless
    endangerment of others, but there is a middle ground between 55MPH and
    90MPH.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

    JD, the fact that people use radar detectors as a tool to break the law
    is besides the point.  Where to you draw the line regarding the banning
    of all "tools" that are used for breaking the law?
    
    I wish that all drivers that drink were off the road, but I don't
    support sobriety tests, road blocks nor drug testing.
    
    Mark.

    > JD, the fact that people use radar detectors as a tool to break the law
    > is besides the point.  Where to you draw the line regarding the banning
    > of all "tools" that are used for breaking the law?
    
    I don't even accept JD's premise that owning a radar detector is a
    presumption of guilt.  Maybe it's my belief that the state and its
    police occasionally engage in trickery and deceipt (no!), and if 
    they're sniffing up my butt with a high energy radio beam I want to 
    know about it.
    
    I don't own any radar detectors because I generally drive at
    responsible speeds, but there are times I wished I had one.  The last
    time was when I was in Ohio (the country's #1 speed trap, measured in
    speeding tickets per capita) and was ticketed out of two lanes of
    flowing traffic doing 60 in a so-called 45-mph "construction zone" where 
    no one was working for miles and miles in either direction.  Maybe I was
    at fault for not paying real close attention and going with the flow in
    an unfamiliar area.  But the state cop who wrote me up sure wasn't in
    any mood to listen to any stories about my spotless driving record...
    
    glenn
    

A few thoughts:

	I personally would like to see a modified German system here.
	Our roads (most of them) are not setup for Autobahn-like speeds,
	but they are most certainly set up for better than 55.

	Therefore, I'd like to see a good, high speed limit (say
	85).

	On the other hand, what burns me more than anything else is
	drunk drivers.  I have been on the road at night and seen
	drivers weaving and doing all the things that indicate they
	have had one too many, yet there's never a cop around.
	I guess it's easier to set up a speed trap on a sunny Saturday
	morning than to actually be out patrolling for drunks.

	At any rate, I'd like to see the German system here.  I'm 
	not sure if the fines/terms are correct, but you'll get the
	idea:

		1st offense -	$10K, 1 YEAR
		2nd offense -   $20K, 2 YEARS
		3rd offense -	$50K, 5 YEARS, lifetime license suspension.


	At least that's how a friend described it to me.



re Radar:

	Inaccurate at best.  I do not believe that a trooper, faces with
	a three-lane highway, three cars abreast all moving at approximately
	the same speed, can DETERMINE which car is the offender.

	With this new laser thing you can, but there will be a way around
	that too.


This country needs to get real about its speed limits.  NO ONE, but NO ONE
drives 55, unless it's on a back road marked for 40.....


'Saw

Mark -

Oh yeah.  That's right.  Let 'em ban radar detecters.  Next thing ya know,
the hammer and sickle will be waving from the flag pole and we'll all be
on communes.  Give it a break.  Little paranoid over reaction.

Personally, there are laws in this country that I don't agree to - but just
because one doesn't like it - you should arbitrarily decide which ones to
follow and which to break.  Which is exactly the speed limit problem.

If this country had responsible drivers - and after driving on 495 and 290 
two Friday's ago late afternoon, I didn't see many - then I'd be totally
in favor of a higher speed limit.  But, I have no confidence that a 70 mile
limit would stop speeding.  Folks would cruise at 80 then.  

There is no reason to own a radar detecter then to beat the law.  IMO, using them
to legally speed is like, putting it in terms you'll understand, Mark - taking
an extra deer or two over the limit, or using the night light technique.

I don't support road blocks for drunk drivers, but have no problems with
the arbitrary check point.  

You are using the NRA line about gun control.  Hey, I support the right to
bear arms, and I support gun control.  I don't want your guns taken away
Mark.  And most folks I know who support gun control don't either.  

I say make radar detecters illegal in the states - including selling and
manufacturing them.  Let them work on a real safety feature that will 
save lives, and not let a bunch of overstressed road hogs drive like maniacs.

If you have to speed, but a real man or woman and pay the penalty if you get 
caught.

JD

�    1. Well lets see. The FCC says that the airwaves are public. Therefore, I
�    can monitor those airwaves, if I want. Based on that alone there should
�    not be laws banning radar detectors. 
    
    There are plenty of frequencies that the average citizen is not
    permitted to receive.

    There's a Speeding Soapbox in CARBUFFS...

    > There's a Speeding Soapbox in CARBUFFS...
    
    And the debate has raged on & off for years in there too!
    
    Re: In CT, anything over 60 will get you a ticket (-Sawmain).
    
    Sawmains, I usually only drive I84 while in CT, which I've done several
    hundreds of times going back 'n forth to NY over the last 19 years
    (wholly sheet, nexted year's my 20th HS reunion!), and my experience
    has been, 69 & under, you're safe, 71+, you're bagged.  I've passed,
    and have been passed by, troopers while doing 65-69, and have never
    been pulled over.  But I've seen dozens going only a few MPHs faster
    get nailed.  Maybe I've been just plain lucky...
    
    Hawk
    
    P.S. amazing isn't it, how some topics cain raise such a fervor?  And
    I've seen some beauts over the years in some conferences that you'd
    never suspect.  Ex.- ::parenting, seen a big war over cicumcision, and
    another on cloth diapers vs. disposables!; ::canine, over crating pets;
    ::carbuffs, speeding, Japanese vs. American (this one's fun!), and
    regular oil vs. synthetics;.....could go on and on....  :-)
    

>    Sawmains, I usually only drive I84 while in CT, which I've done several
>    hundreds of times going back 'n forth to NY over the last 19 years
>    (wholly sheet, nexted year's my 20th HS reunion!), and my experience
>    has been, 69 & under, you're safe, 71+, you're bagged.  I've passed,
>    and have been passed by, troopers while doing 65-69, and have never
>    been pulled over.  But I've seen dozens going only a few MPHs faster
>    get nailed.  Maybe I've been just plain lucky...
    
I think you've been lucky.



As to the phenomenon of making the limit 70, people will do 80, I disagree.

I find that when I'm on the pike in east Mass, where the limit is 65,
I tend to do 65 and not my usual 70.  Most of the other folks are doing
the same.

sure, you'll get the guy in the Audi, or Mercedes that goes by you
like you're standing still, but for the most part, the traffic is obeying
the limit.

Up in New Hampshire, I've seen it the same way (on my way to Manchester
for a rugby match).....


Problem is, if you make the limit 65, and people do 65-70, then you don't
have that revenue coming in for when you bag people at 70 in a 55 zone...


'Saw    

    
    Domino's delivery vehicles have both radar detectors and gun racks, 
    and they're driven by Red Sox fans.
    
    Dickstah
    

    re: Crazy Met, on today's better cars that can handle higher speeds
    
    Don't forget though, that there still are a few '74 Ford Pintos out
    there, and a few old Dodge Darts, and some old Chevy Caprices, and,
    while even those cars, when brand new, could handle 80-90 mph's no
    problem, they are now very old and simply not able to sustain newer car
    speeds safely.  And, before you say that Pintos, etc. are few and far
    between, yeah, a Pinto on 495 is a rare sight, but look around and
    you'll see lots of older sh&tboxes.  I know, I drive one myself...
    
    When I was in Scotland a few years back, my colleague over there
    explained to me that, if you have a newer car, you will most likely not
    be stopped for excessive speed, and that the police tend to target the
    older cars that are going much too fast (older = not as safe as newer).
    
    Hawk
    
    P.S.  Like JD said, it's not so much the speeding that causes problems,
    it's the weaving, tailgating, and all the other unsafe & stupid
    manuvers.  If those things were stopped, then higher speeds would
    work...
    

    I tend to drive between 60-65 on any highway that has a 55 MPH limit
    because if I don't I can't keep up with the general flow of traffic.
    
    On a highway with a 65 MPH limit, I try to keep it at 65 even when
    being passed right and left because I'm not confident in my ability to
    handle a car going that fast for any length of time.  I'd probably be
    totally terrified on the Autobahn.
    
    People who weave in and out of lanes while attempting to speed in
    heavy traffic both scare me and piss me off at the same time.
    
    John

    I don't tailgate or weave in and out of traffic but I will pass you,
    on the right, if you're the shmoe doing 60-65, in the passing lane.
    I don't usually use directionals (on the highway) but I will if 
    traffic is heavier.  I never use the breakdown lane to pass anyone.
    
    People who drive always worrying about what everyone else is doing,
    bug me.  
    
    I usually go between 70-80 (depending on traffic) and would go a 
    little faster if I felt my car could handle it.  Mom calls me 
    Joey Chitwood.  Have no idea who he is... (but I can imagine.) (-:
             
    
    
    

On a 3 lane highway, the left lane is the passing lane, the other lanes
are travel lanes.  Too many folks pass on the right, weaving from the
left to teh right and back.

You should ALWAYS use directionals.  TO not is simply rude and wrong. It
doesn't take too much effort, and it adds at least a little safety to the
manuever.

FOlks who drive slow shouldn't be in the left lane either.  

Patience helps a lot.  I don't know how many times I'll be passing someone,
and some schmoe comes up behind me and can't wait the few seconds it will
take for me to get by and then move to the left to let the schmoe by and 
instead decides to weave to go by - not using directionals.    A few seconds
aint' gonna hold them up too much.

Karen - I don't worry all  the time - but if you were driving 80 and weaving 
without directionals, I wouldn't want to be near ya...

JD

>    Joey Chitwood.  Have no idea who he is... (but I can imagine.) (-:

Famous stunt driver.  Saw him once at the Waterford Speed Bowl.
Surprisingly enough, all of his stunts are done while driving with
only one hand on the wheel.....


'Saw             
    
    
    

    I bet MrT drives at least 80, weaves, uses no directionals, has blaring
    punk music on, throw his empties on the floor in the back, and doesn't
    use a radar detector...  :-)
    
    Hawk
    

    JD, I wasn't saying you worry.  I'm talking about the people, and
    I drive with a few of them, that white knuckle it.  They stop on
    the on ramps, won't switch lanes unless there's absolutely no
    traffic and they freeze passing trucks.  They get po'd at everyone
    else.
    
    I always use directionals around town but have no idea why I don't
    on the highway.  I'm doing 80, if everyone in the passing lane is.
    I'm not doing 80, in the travel lanes but like I said, I'll pass 
    you on the right, if you don't move over after a minute or so.
    
    I've gotten 3 speeding tickets in 10 years.  Only one was from
    speeding on the highway.  The other two were pretty bogus.
    
    It's *very* hard to control what some people consider a lead foot.
         

>They stop on the on ramps, 

    If you cannot merge (or traffic will not yield) you are supposed to
    stop until you can safely merge.  Unfortunately, this is one of the
    most abused rules, causing unnecessary slowdowns and accidents on
    freeways.
    
    	--dan'l

I think Yield and Merge are the two most understood words in our language.

    
    $#%# I was late for work today.  Got stuck behind JD.  8*)
    
    Brews

    JD, I *will* pay fines if and when I get caught. Not an issue.  I know
    the risks of speeding and am willing to accept the consequences.  I
    don't drive recklessly, but like TCM, I drive according to the
    conditions and traffic flow.
    
    Hawk, if speeding isn't an issue why are you agin radar detectors.
    
    Finally, I believe that it is perfectly legal to pass on the right in
    Mass and NH.
    
    Mark.

    > Hawk, if speeding isn't an issue why are you agin radar detectors.
    
    Good question, Mark.  Actually, I'm not so much against them as much
    as I feel that they're unnecessary.  Like I said before, the cushion
    allowed should be enough for everybody (ie. up to 70mph).  I also agree
    with the Sawmains that, if they raised the speed limits to more
    realistic numbers, I think that people wouldn't be so apt to go that
    much faster, if at all...
    
    re: passing on the right being perfectly legal in MA & NH
    
    NO NO NO!  Only in MA is it legal.  In fact, I'm almost positive that
    MA is the only New England state where it's legal to pass on the right. 
    But I do know, and it's been verified in the ::carbuffs file, that it's
    definitely illegal to pass on the right in NH!  HTH.
    
    Hawk
    

    One of the nice things about driving in Europe - outside of Italy -
    is that drivers pretty much follow the rules. People use dircetional
    signals, pass on the left and all that stuff a lot more than they do in
    the US.
    
    'Saw - agreed that our roads - most of them - cannot be set up like the
    Autobahns in Germany, 85MPH on many of them sounds about right.
    
    JHendry - first time I got on the Autobahn I was following someone and
    he kicked up to 140KPH, about 85MPH, so I went to that speed and
    thought ok I have done this before. He then kicked up to 160KPH which
    is 100MPH, that I had never done in the US - well a 1 mile stretch in
    my Mustang once, but that hardly counts - and at first it was scary.
    After a short while I got into the rythym og going that speed and then
    even higher speeds. If your car is built for it you really do get used
    to those speeds. One slight difference is I found I needed to stop a
    little more often since my concentration level had to be higher when
    going that speed.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

    re: air waves
    
    To clarify: the frequencies that can be used by radar guns ARE
    frequencies that are public.
    
    The Crazy Met
    

�The Interstate system was designed for 70.  
    
    At 1950 traffic densities...

>    
>    At 1950 traffic densities...
>

The ROAD is designed for 70, no matter what the density.  8^)


'Saw

       I have a radar detector. The ONLY reason I bought it was to avoid
    tickets. It was perfectly legal for me to buy it. Didn't even have to
    fill out a form swearing I wouldn't use it to scoff at the law!
                                      Denny

       Thomas Graham Shaughnessy is still a member a ELF, 10 days after the
    alleged exit!
                                         Denny

Yeah, I noticed that.   They usually get you out of ELF fairly quickly....


'Saw

       Also, jabbing mail messages have NOT been kicked back.
                                   Denny

    I called his DTN lasted week, but the person answering said "He's no
    longer with Digital, can someone else help you?" For al she knew I
    coulda been a customer, so I doubt she'd be in on one of his scams.
    Fraid it may be true....

    Maybe he joined a punk band?
    
    Hawk
    

Speaking of harrassments, I read that one of the game companies is coming
out with a harrassment board game. Players land on squares, draw cards
for the situation, argue both sides of the issue and someone makes a
ruling.

All that without a lawyer!

TTom

      re-1  Isn't that had this note started?  Or should it be called
    practical joke?    Practical jokes can be harrasing in a way,  like it
    has been here at CXO lately.  SOme good ones going around!
    
      Tim

I just checked in ELF, and MrT is still in there.

That's highly unusual for someone who has left the company.  I've never
seen an entry stay in ELF for so long after employment terminates.


Methinks we wuz duped again!


'Saw

      I'm wondering if this means that when I get back from vacation
    in 3 weeks that Mr T will have surfaced and that I will have 10
    zillion college prank replies that need read?
    
      Probably...
    
    
      It is strange.  Does anyone know ELF policies at to what time frame
    they have to "eliminate" a name?
    
    	Tim

It's my understanding that the system maager takes care of ELF.

Maybe the MUSKIE::SYSTEM guy just hasnt deleted him.

Maybe T is holding out for the dream team ;-)

TTom

    I've seen ELF entries stay for months ... simply call the number for
    the T-main. If the secretary says, "He's no longer with Digital", then
    we'll know Da Troof ...

    The system manager does not maintain ELF entries unless (s)he is the ELF
    administrator of that site.  Even then, the process is automated thru
    Personnel software systems.
    
    As the system manager and ELF administrator for our sites, I can say
    that the system manager MUST remove former employee accounts within 1
    week to comply with DEC security standards.
    
    Mike

I just recieved my updated DTN listing for Minniapolis.
No Tom Shaughnessy.  However, I haven't recieved the 
normal memo about him not being a DEC employee either.

Very odd.

Scott

      re-1  Are you trying to say somthin' with that p_name?;^)
    

    Just called the DTN listed in ELf and was told that he's no longer with
    the company.
    
    JaKe
    

re: Tim

Just my comment on a nasty lay-off rumor floating around.

It is depressing to read a memo from a Vice President and your
first reaction is "This person is completely out of touch, and 
needs to be fired.".   It's even more depressing to read the memo
immediately after hearing said layoff rumor.

Scott