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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

922.0. "Things heard not quite right." by STAR::CANTOR (Have pun, will babble.) Fri Nov 01 1991 15:39

A friend of mine was talking about scented toilet paper.  I didn't
hear him correctly, and I thought he said "centered" toilet paper.
(This is near Boston, so not hearing a distinctive 'r' doesn't mean
there was no 'r' at all.)   So I said, "Of course it's centered;
how else would it work on a roll dispenser?  Besides what else could
it be, right justified?"  My friend chuckled, and I added, "I guess
right-justified toilet paper doesn't make any sense, but it could
easily be left-justified with flush right margin."

Dave C.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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922.1strange classical compositionSIMON::SZETOSimon Szeto, International Sys. Eng.Tue Nov 12 1991 19:0815
    The other morning, going to work, there was this piece they were
    playing on WCRB, featuring a saxophone.  (Kind of unusual--Quick!
    name a classical piece with a saxophone.)  I wasn't paying close
    attention, but there was undoubted a string part in there too.
    Anyway, when they announced the name of the piece (which I forgot;
    I wasn't paying attention, remember?) my wife, who was driving, and
    also not paying attention either, said to me in puzzlement:
    
    "What was that about sex and violence?"
    


That was supposed to be "sax and violins," I would guess.

--Simon
922.2Honni soit...AZUR::HALDANETypos to the TradeWed Nov 13 1991 04:249
>    The other morning, going to work, there was this piece they were
>    playing on WCRB, featuring a saxophone.  (Kind of unusual--Quick!
>    name a classical piece with a saxophone.)  I wasn't paying close

	Could've been Bizet's "l'Arl�sienne".  I seem to think [what a
	strange expression!] that this was the first orchestral piece
	written for saxes.  Don't know about the violence though...

	Delia
922.3Another FrenchmanMARVIN::KNOWLESCaveat vendorWed Nov 13 1991 05:3418
    Also, it depends what you mean by `classical' - was Saxe even born
    when the `classical period' ended 
    				   (if I was a Real Pedant, I'd've said
    		o	if I _were_ a Real Pedant
    		o	what other pedants mean by the `classical period'
    				    )
    ? I don't know, but I'd guess the saxophone was invented in what
    Grove's would call the `romantic period'. But who's a pedant? The
    first one I thought of was Ravel's Bolero. Next came Walton's
    Belshazzar's Feast - but that's even more recent faheavensake.
    Anyway, I prefer .2's word here - "orchestral" although that word
    wouldn't work in lots of cases. 
    
    (Incidentally, I was telling my son about a duo playing a duet, when we
    noticed yet another oddity in the language: duO/duET, triO/triO,
    quartET/quartET [and -ET thereafter]. To say nothing of the fact that
    `a piano trio' is usually played by four instruments, one of which is a
    piano.)
922.4POWDML::COHEN_RWed Nov 13 1991 09:347
    
    	Actually I think it was Borodin's Fantasy for Saxophone,
    	if I remember Ms. Nichols' introduction correctly. It was
    	played in honor of Adolphe Sax's birthday.
    
    	My question is, "Who suggested it to her?  Peter?  Doug?"
    	because she is not all that musically astute.
922.5Maryanne?KALE::ROBERTSThu Nov 14 1991 06:127
    re .4
    
    Are you referring to that "Maryanne" creature who does the morning show
    on WCRB?  The one with the cutesy, radio-personality voice?  Yuk.  She's
    the reason I stopped listening to 'CRB in the morning several years 
    ago.  
                                                              
922.6POWDML::COHEN_RThu Nov 14 1991 10:3917
    
    	re: .5
    
    	Yea, verily, yea.  
    
    	As someone who did radio for over seven years (news, music,
    	production, etc.), and who has traveled a bit for this great 
    	company of ours tuning in the waves hither and yon, my humble 
    	opinion is that Nichols and her cohort, Laura Carlo, are the 
    	worst thing I ever heard in a "serious" music format.  
    	(*C*harles *R*iver *B*roadcasting listener since approximately 
    	1959 (my orthodontist had it going all the time) and Bob Lurstema 
    	used to be part of the the broadcast team.)
    
    	[BTW: Did you know that until the early 70s, WBCN was the
    	only other commercial classsical station in Boston?  BCN
    	stood for Boston Concert Network.]
922.7Take them away, pleaseMOPUS::ROBERTSThu Nov 14 1991 11:029
    Yes, I did know that 'BCN used to be Boston Concert Network.
    
    When "the voice" started on 'CRB, I was horrified!  Called up and
    complained, sent letters, all to no avail.  So there's no classical
    music between 6:00 and 7:00, when Robert J. follows the birds....
    
    I just wish she would go away....  And take Laura with her.
    
    -ellie
922.8SSDEVO::EGGERSAnybody can fly with an engine.Thu Nov 14 1991 12:4226
    What's the name of the guy who talks ... so .........slowly ........
    
    ...................that ...........................................you..
    
    ........................................................go............
    
    ...........................................................................
    
    .............................to .........................................
    
    .......................................................................
    
    ........sleep .........................................................
    
    .........................................................................
    
    ............................................................between
    
    ........................................................................
    
    ......................................................................
    
    .........................................................................
    
    
    .................................................................words?
922.9'GBH to 'BURVMSMKT::KENAHThe man with a child in his eyes...Thu Nov 14 1991 12:528
    That's Robert J. -- Boston's very own Narcolepsy Poster Boy.
    
    I found that chirping birds don't work well in a compact car driving
    on Route 3 North -- the road noise obliterated the birds -- so I
    shifted the dial slightly and discovered Morning Edition -- and I
    was hooked.
    
    					andrew
922.10POWDML::COHEN_RThu Nov 14 1991 13:425
    
    	And speaking of things not being heard right, Lurtsema
    	used to go by Bob Lursema on CRB and with The Folk Song
    	Society of Greater Boston.  He changed to Robert J. because
    	he kept getting mail addressed to Bob Blurtsema.
922.11A voice in favor of Maryanne and LauraRDVAX::KALIKOWPartially Sage, and Rarely On TimeThu Nov 14 1991 14:2714
    ...sorry to continue this GMA-o-centric rathole (-: further rathole: 
    is it MORE impolite to rathole a topic with a GMA-o-centric topic when
    that topic "lives" on a faraway British VAX?? :-), but imho I *like* their
    rather chirpy attitudes.  Never actually LISTEN to 'em, save when NPR is
    doing something tedious and Robert J.'s cohorts are doing fundraising,
    but when I *do*, they're rather caffiene-laden and not too hard on my
    ears.  Just mho.  As far as 'CRB in the PM, impossible.  Too Too many
    commercials and everything ELSE they play has a simple selection spec:
    
    (a) is it by Johann Strauss?
    (b) is it less than 3 min. long so we can put in ANOTHER commercial??!!
    
    grrr...  Thank gooness for cassettes...
                                    
922.12A rathole sidebranch...VMSMKT::KENAHThe man with a child in his eyes...Fri Nov 15 1991 07:445
    Dan --
    
    Joy_of_Lex now resides in Northern California.
    
    					andrew
922.13PRSSOS::MAILLARDDenis MAILLARDFri Nov 15 1991 07:544
    Re .11, .12:
    	...And wasn't even British before residing in California. It was
    located in Valbonne, on the French riviera.
    			Denis.
922.14Wow, major pagefault. (-: <BLUSH> :-)RDVAX::KALIKOWE-Maily PostMon Nov 18 1991 08:403
        ... file this under "Things not REMEMBERED quite right!!"
    
                                 And HOW!!!
922.15MR4DEC::EGRACEStealth HuggerMon Nov 18 1991 10:248
    Aaaahhhh...yes!  Dear Robert J. Lurchalong!
    
    
    
    (*8
    
    
    E Grace
922.16DSSDEV::RUSTTue Sep 22 1992 17:519
    This isn't a "mis-heard" exactly, but it seemed to fit here. On a news
    summary on the radio the other day, the announcer began to talk about
    "eighteen striking teachers...", and a vision of a beauty-pageant
    runway popped into my mind; three or four simply smashing-looking
    teachers had paraded down it before I caught up with the rest of the
    announcer's message - something about salaries and contracts, I think
    it was...
    
    -b
922.17COOKIE::EGGERSAnybody can fly with an engine.Tue Sep 22 1992 20:191
    Yet a third meaning: 18 people beating up on teachers.
922.18JIT081::DIAMONDbad wiring. That was probably it. Very bad.Wed Sep 23 1992 18:592
    18 expert teachers of bowling,
    or 18 differently abled teachers of baseball.
922.19COOKIE::EGGERSAnybody can fly with an engine.Wed Sep 23 1992 20:352
    or 18 teachers of how to take down a tent.  Or light a match.
    Or both at the same time.
922.20A question of perspectiveKERNEL::MORRISWhich universe did you dial?Fri Oct 09 1992 09:4610
    My mother-in-law (over for lunch) said to my wife, "Why is this shower
    head here in the kitchen?".
    
    My wife replied, "Jon's got to sort it out - it's scaled up".
    
    I countered, "Yeah, but I don't know how I'm going to make it any
    smaller".		;-)
    
    Jon
    
922.21JIT081::DIAMONDbad wiring. That was probably it. Very bad.Mon Oct 12 1992 19:511
    Take it to a psychologist  ;-)
922.22forever plaidDSSDEV::RUSTSat Jan 09 1993 16:248
    This _may_ have been just a typo, but if the quote is accurate,
    the speaker definitely mis-heard something. In yesterday's paper, an
    article reflecting on the career of the late Rudolf Nureyev included a
    quote from Jayne Persch, who had danced with him at one time. As she
    explained how hard-working, disciplined, and demanding he was, she
    said, "He was a Tartan..."
    
    -b
922.23Free BooksKERNEL::MORRISWhich universe did you dial?Fri Jul 09 1993 07:4114
    {Note to Moderator - I know there is probably a better note than this
    for my reply but I'm darned if I can find it!}
    
    I recently bought some goods from a famous chain of newsagents in the
    UK.  The bag they gave me to carry stuff home had a promotional panel
    on it advertising an altruistic :-) scheme running in the shop; thus:
    
    "Help your local primary school to obtain up to �500 of free books"
    
    What I don't understand is why they need my help to get hold of free
    books.  And how will the shop work out when the value of free books has
    reached �500?
    
    Bemused of Basingstoke
922.24Or maybe payment would be at wholesaleSMURF::BINDERDeus tuus tibi sed deus meus mihiFri Jul 09 1993 09:254
    I should think that "free books" means "We'll give them to the library
    free if you'll pay for them."  And when they've collected �500 that is
    designated for a particular library, they will decline to accept
    further subscriptions for that library.