Conference terri::cars_uk

Come on now let's be fair!

I wouldn't neccessarily call them plonkers. It's just means that their driving
skills need some touch up... ;-)

    Anyone who parks a car over two spaces and either doesn't realise 
    or doesn't care enough to repark the car , is a plonker in my 
    book. Also, they may be a bad *first* time parker but if they
    are so bad at parking that they can't *eventually* get it right, 
    that makes them a menace as well as a plonker.
    
    
    Jerome.                      

re .-1

You took the words out of my mouth (finger)!


ian

    Ref this subject.
    
    As the owner and driver of the red Sierra, D420 YRX I take exception to
    being called a Plonker.  When I parked my car this morning I did so in
    such a way as to leave an adequate gap between my vehicle and
    the Black Nova that was already parked well over the white lines.  Now
    unfortunately this put the nearside (for you sprogs that's the left hand 
    side when viewed from the driver's seat whilst facing forwards) of my car 
    about a foot over the white lines of the parking box.  I was well aware of
    this.
    
    I suppose in Mr Batterbee's world what I should have done is ignored
    the remainder of the box in which the Nova had a foothold and parked
    properly in the next available box.  The fact that this would have
    wasted about 5 feet of perfectly good parking space seems to have
    escaped the originator of this note.  Also, as we are talking about the
    far end of a row in which there was only 7-8 proper car spaces left anyway,
    it would have made more sense for everybody to follow the lead of the Nova
    and consequently me, and allow 7 of those 8 cars to park.  As it was, some 
    like mind (to Mr Batterbee) decided that he would park between the
    lines, presumably to make a point, and this effectively reduced the 
    remaining parking space to 5 cars.
    
    Now whilst I agree that bad parking can really get up peoples noses and
    in a lot of cases can be positively dangerous, being called a Plonker
    is even more irritating and can often make peoples' noses bleed. 
    
    p.s.
    
    Parking is a sore point with me as in the past I have even had to
    threaten people with court action over parking on my property.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Only joking about the nose bleed Jerome 
    
    Paul   
                                    

    REPLY to 1568.0 
    
    I didn't know that DEC Park had a car park attendant .
    
    ( Tongue in cheek symbol )
    
    
                        KR

Don't worry Paul some people are just always right and the rest of us mere
mortals are just destined to be wrong.  I mean how could you possibly have 
a reason for parking the way you did........unthinkable.........






			Mike.


I wonder if I'll be told that I must reverse may car into its parking place
as well as getting it between the white lines. 

    OK Paul, I had a feeling that a person who puts cossie wheels on
    his Sierra probably does take an interest in cars and would take
    exception to being called a plonker. I did suspect that what Paul 
    explained was the case, but if I'd been you Paul, I would have 
    parked further up the spaces and made other people look bad. I 
    retrospectively denominate Paul as joint Plonker of the Day. That 
    has nothing to do with bleeding noses....honest (insert clucking
    noises here). I think the people who didn't reply proved what I said
    the basenote.
    
    Has anyone got any nominations for todays plonker?
    
                             
    Jerome the self appointed car park attendant.  :-)

    Mike
    
    I didn't realise that they fitted reverse gear on Reliant Robins
    
    Paul 

    � Has anyone got any nominations for todays plonker?
    
    How about anyone who gets so worked up about how others park that
    they feel a whole note should be dedicated to abusing them? :^)
    
    Mark

    >How about anyone who gets so worked up about how others park that
    >they feel a whole note should be dedicated to abusing them? :^)
    
    So you not be in the least bit peeved if you had to park at the
    opposite end of the car park to the building when it was pouring
    with rain all because of bad parking. Is so, you must be so laid
    back that your lying down. :-)  Seriously though, its also the 
    attitude "Oh I couln't give a t*ss" which annoys me as well. The 
    same type of attitude that clogs up the overtaking lanes on the 
    motorway, that leaves their fogs lights on all day, that reverses
    back down slip roads.......
    
    
    Jerome who'll probably die prematurely of stress. :-( 
    

    �Jerome the self appointed car park attendant.  :-)
    
    Maybe its not just car park attendant that you've appointed yorself :-)

    
    Heh, Jerome, lighten up and chill out! :^)
    
    When I worked at DEC park I always parked in the top bay of the first
    crescent in. How? Well I always left home early enough not to have to 
    worry about where to park. 
    
    If you're worried about getting wet I can recommend a very good
    umbrella sales outlet. :^)
    
    Mark

    Up north we have to share 1 parking space per 10 employees, and I have
    to get up 5 hours before I go to bed, lick road clean with tongue, and
    live in a shoe box in middle of road
    
    
    :^)

    re : .13,  Dave, are you nominating yourself as plonker of the day? :-)
    
    Anyway, I'm suprised that something like bad parking doesn't evoke
    a greater response in condemning the practice, when something like
    leaving fog lights on prompts dozens of replies.  I conclude that
    I am the only person that finds bad parking in the least bit annoying
    and therefore nominate myself as plonker of the day for being so
    silly as to start this note.  As bad parking is irrelevant I shall
    now start to park badly as I know it doesn't annoy anyone. So, if you
    see a white GTE taking up three spaces you will all know its me.
    
       I am now lightening up at the request of a fellow noter. 
    
    I am now looking forward to another 65 years of parking badly as I
    am now so "lightened up" I shall live to an old age. Just think how
    many times I can park badly over 65 years. At an average of once a day
    thats 23,741.25 times.  Happy parking noters :-) :-) :-)
    
    
    Jerome.

	erm, where does the .25 come from? Can you park .25 of a time.....





Paul,

	What where you saying about noses....


			Mike

    totally irrelevant and all that, but what's a plonker ?

    re : .16
    
    The  .25 comes from taking leap years into account ie
    
       65 x 365.25 = 23,741.25
    
    I thought that some smarty pants would take me to task if I forgot
    about leap years.  Also, I reckon that after 65 years of parking
    badly, I'm sure I'll find a way to park .25 of a time. Like only
    put the first quarter of the car in the space and leave the rest 
    sticking out and blocking passage past. Not that anyone would find
    this in the least bit irritating :-)
    
    
    Jerome the light.

    re .18
    
    Jerome 
    
    I wouldn't try parking JUST the nose of your car like that because
    before too long somebody would be trying to do something to your nose.
    
    I don't know, it's always the noses that suffer.

    But why Paul?  As bad parking doesn't annoy anyone, then why
    would someone want to do something to my nose. Maybe a roving
    plastic surgeon.  Maybe the bloke that broke my nose the other
    week. Maybe the phantom nose picker.   :-)
    
    
    re : .17 
    
    Plonker is a polite(ish) way of calling someone an idiot. The
    word is also used as a non-swear word that refers to the male
    member. Not that I had that in mind of course. I imagine the
    nearest US slang equivalent would be dork.
    
    
    Jerome.

    re .21
    
    It depends on what you do with your enormous idiot.
    
    
    
    Hang on a minute - did I get something wrong?

	I hesitate to join in for being nominated a car park attendant, but
	what about the car (carefully naming no names) that regularly parks
	neatly over the yellow lines just as you round the corner of DECpark II
	on the way to the engineering entrance?  This person cannot be bothered
	to park properly 20 yards (sorry metres) away.

	Dave

    
    I agree. Taking up two parking spaces is annoying.
    
    BUT... Not as annoying as the total plonkers who try to take up two
           spaces while your car is still in one of them.
    
    Chris

�    BUT... Not as annoying as the total plonkers who try to take up two
�           spaces while your car is still in one of them.
    
    I've been the victim of this before.
    
    Luckily, the plonker agreed to pay for the damage caused,
    even though he claimed he did not drive into my car.
    He said 'the wind caught my door' - this doesn't match up
    with the size and shape of the dent it caused, or was there
    a hurricane in the SBP car park that I didn't know about ?
    
    Would I be a plonker if I 'accidentally' dented this persons face ?
    
    J.R.

    
    I was that plonker once (not your car though, John :^))
    
    I opened the door on my Renault 5 once and, sure enough, the wind
    tore it from my hand and BANG! into the door of a neighbour's Renault
    25! Fortunately the 25 is made of sturdier stuff than the 5 and their
    was no damage to either car (PHEW!). I doubt I'll have this problem
    with the Calibra as each door seems to weigh about as much as a R5 GTT!
    
    Mark

�    I opened the door on my Renault 5 once and, sure enough, the wind
�    tore it from my hand and BANG! into the door of a neighbour's Renault
    
    I can understand how this sort of accident can occur, quite easily.
    
    In this case though, the car was a Beetle and the dent in the side of
    my car was extremely round and went in a couple of inches.
    
    If it was caused by a door, the dent would have had a somewhat
    straight edge.  In fact, when taken to a garage to check the damage
    the first comment was 'driven into by someones headlight, then' !
    This was because paint surrounded most of the dent, but part of the
    paintwork was unmarked.  Of course, there was no obvious sign on
    the beetle, neither on the door nor on any of the wings/bumpers.
    
    Strange thing, the driver of the offending bug now parks to one
    side of the car park, separately to almost all other vehicles.
    
    A good idea, methinks !
    
    J.R.
    
    PS The only redeeming action was that the driver did leave a note
    on my car to own up to the damage - although he might've been worried
    about any witnesses to the fact.  Also, it would not have taken me
    more than a moment to work out that the green paint on the side of
    my white car might just have come from the green heap of sh!t that
    was parked next to me at the time !

    
    Re .27
    
    I reckon you were dead lucky.
    
    You'd've had a hell of a job PROVING it was him who'd done the damage
    if he'd not owned up and you would almost certainly have ended up out
    of pocket.
    
    Mark

>>    I reckon you were dead lucky.
>>    
>>>    You'd've had a hell of a job PROVING it was him who'd done the damage
>>    if he'd not owned up and you would almost certainly have ended up out
>>    of pocket.
    
    Not really, all you would need to do is ask to look at the video from
    the security cameras mounted in the car park.
    
    Shaun.
    

re .29;

    >>Not really, all you would need to do is ask to look at the video from
    >>the security cameras mounted in the car park.

I've got this wonderful bridge in London I can sell you, too...

Peter.

>    Not really, all you would need to do is ask to look at the video from
>    the security cameras mounted in the car park.

	Well how do I get these tapes, 'cos someone has bashed the front 
	wing of my car in SBP. I now have some white paint on my blue car.
	Who's got a white car in SBP ?

	Alex :^(

>>                 -< That's the best laugh I've had in ages!! >-
    
    Laugh though you may, it *IS* true, and I have seen it !
    
    Shaun.

>>    	Well how do I get these tapes
    
    Ring 2424 and ask security about them.
    
    Shaun.
    
    

�	Who's got a white car in SBP ?
    
    I've got a white car today, usually the red one though.
    
    Wasn't me guv.
    
    J.R.

    ...If you want to see the carpark video, report it to
    security/facilities asap. This happened to me & I was able to collect
    from the third party who firstly denied it ! His manager persuaded him
    that it is better settled out of court. Long live security cameras.
    
    	Tony.

    Anyone else notice the phenomenon of the punter who needs another car
    to park next to ?
    
    When entering a public car park (and this includes SBP) I always make
    for an unpopular section of that car park in the (sometimes hopeless)
    hope that this will prevent anyone parking next to my car. This works
    for 99% of the time in SBP, but invariably you can come back to your
    car to find the same section of car park devoid of cars bar your own
    vehicle... oh and the car now parked on the driver's side of your
    car... and if you're really unlucky there will be someone's car parked
    on your passenger side as well.
    
    If a car park is pretty much full of cars then I'll try and find an end
    slot and park as far over to the end of the end slot as possible.  This
    can sometimes backfire as you may come back to your vehicle to find the
    next person along has decided to ignore the white lines marking his/her
    space and instead has parked as close to your vehicle as possible...
    easier to line up then you see.
    
    Despite these measures my car has been knocked twice in SBP's car park.
    
    Nothing like a good gripe after lunch...
    
    
    Stephen

    And that was _NOTHING_ like a good gripe....
                                                .
                                                 .
                                                  :-) :-) :-) :-)
    

>>    Anyone else notice the phenomenon of the punter who needs another car
>>    to park next to ?
    
    Just like on holiday :
    
    	Find a long empty beach
    
    	Choose suitable spot on it
    
    	Relax in solitude
    
    	Then, some other bum comes and plonks themself right next to you ;-(
    
    	Solution, get up and move to almost any other part of the beach,
    	which will still be empty...  until another bum comes along
    
    J.R.

    Look at it from the other point of view...
    
    	If I park in a parking space with empty bays on either side, that
    gives two other people chances to scrape the side of my car. If I
    chose a space with cars on either side, then I should be safer!
    
     (_I_ assume that people are less likely to scrape the side of my car
      when leaving a space than when entering one... Wonder if that's true?) 
    

Re.39:

>_I_ assume that people are less likely to scrape the side of my car
>     when leaving a space than when entering one... Wonder if that's true?) 

Depends on whther they reversed in or not. If they did reverse in your safe.

/Dave.    

RE:       <<< Note 1568.40 by VANGA::KERRELL "Dave Kerrell @REO 830-2279" >>>


� Depends on whther they reversed in or not. If they did reverse in your safe.

    Why should anyone want to reverse in his safe; assuming he has a safe
    that is?
    
    Laurie.

re.41:

It depends on whether they reversed in or not. If they did reverse in then you
are safe to park next to them.

Ah, but what happens when it looks like they reversed in, but because there are
two lines of cars face to face, they actually drove in forwards from the other
side ? Are you safe then ? And how about your car ?

I always park next to another car. There must be some deep seated
psychological reason for this. Anyway, a car park scattered with cars in a
random distribution looks scruffy.

And I always drive in forward. Why do people drive in forward, and others
reverse in? So many mysteries.

Dougie
 

    	Well, I normally reverse in as I find that I can get into spaces
    easier that way, together with the fact that I prefer not to have to
    reverse out into the traffic when I leave.

    It seems to me that a lot of people that reverse into spaces
    shouldn't have bothered. Anyway, surely the best way to park
    is across three spaces.  :-)
    
    Parking in a safe sounds like an answer to car theft. Until the
    toerag thieves learn to safe break that is.
    
    
    Jerome.

    If it weren't for cars seeking each other out to park next to, where
    would all the minis come from?
    
    Cheers...Gary

    I always reverse in to car park spaces ever since I borrowed my boss's
    car at a previous job and parked it in an inward facing position. He was
    an ex-army man and gave me a very painful 'dead-leg' because I had
    parked it facing inwards, due to the fact that "in a bomb-scare, it
    would take a few-seconds longer to get out if parked inwards". Now,
    this may be common polocy in the army, but if there was a bomb scare, I
    wouldn't bother getting my car out!
    
    Andy

    
    Presumably this man is now in a suitable institution?
    
    Mark

    I always park next to Lampposts (read NEXT to), this avoids people
    bashing into your car, especially supermarket trollies. I do however,
    have problems in DECpark, as you have to park sideways in two spaces,
    to be next to the posts. 

    Tony,
    
    Why don't you try parking so that there is a wall on each side and if
    you're really lucky try and find one with a wall over the top and then
    no one can park next to you and it also stops them seagulls doing a
    database dump all over the sliding glass sunroof. This method does
    however have a cost implication but seeing as you're a contractor you
    can afford it.
    
    Having said this my solution is this park the car in the drive get on a
    plane fly to a different country and use a train then you're always
    sure that no has parked next to you and that you'll always be able to
    remember where you've parked it.... Also this way you can sling the
    Wei�beirs down your neck with DWC and you don't have to spend all night
    in the car park at Daglfing looking for the car ;-)
    
    		Have a good one you old tart,
    
    				Chris

    Chris,
    
    The car parks are just not the same in England...along with the trains,
    the bier, and I miss the tomatoe club when miss @@ is on!!
    
    Tony, sufferring_withdrawl_symptoms_already
          but_is_getting_a_new_car
          but_its_not_an_elan
    

    I can understand the point about @@. I'll wander in with DWC tonight
    and drool a little for you. The car parks aren't the same you say, I'm
    pretty certain that they'll let you have your job back at Daglfing
    anytime you want, just don't sleep on the job again, or the spew come
    to think of it. So what's the new motor then me old mate, girlie,
    talked you into four doors and a back seat that can be utilised for
    carrying devices for baby Rayner's ?
    
    	Chris, suffering_from_a_night_out_with_IC_and
    		hung_over_to_death_and_thinking_of_a_wind
    		up_for_the_R5GTTurbo_guys_who_rise_to_bait

    Seen today in DEC Park car park... a Citroen 2CV parked with its back
    end JUST in the parking space, its front end out in the middle of the
    bay.
    
    Either driver = plonker, or handbrake = knackered
    
    :-)

    Lift up the front and push it back?   :-)
    
    One of the few cars that you can easily bump start on your own...
    

re .55;

you use the starting handle, like wot it was designed for.

peter	(who has started 2CV's in the past like that!)