Conference marvin::uk_music

    I picked up '30 something' last weekend in a shop in Dublin. If you see
    it, pick it up fast. Great stuff.
    
    kev

"30 Something" has been released in the States so if things get bad you
could always get an import.

Ed

    I've got a `Carter' t-shirt. Do I win a prize??
    
    Tony

Well Dear Reader,

I managed to find a copy of 30 Something yesterday, but I still can't
find their other album ( whose name temporarily escapes me).

Stuart

    It's called "101 DAMNATIONS". By the way the SHERRIF FATMAN (new
    edition) E.P. is rather good. Check it out if you want to cos it's a
    nice place to start with them.
    
                        NIALLY

      Who the hell is Carter-the unstoppable sex Machine. I have never even
    heard of that band.
    
        Cunno.

>      Who the hell is Carter-the unstoppable sex Machine. I have never even
>    heard of that band.
    
>        Cunno.


Martin,

That really doesn't come as a great shock to me.


Paneso

    
    They played at Reading and were amazing!
    
    One slight problem. They had a grid of lights behind them which was
    about 15' square. It kept flashing three letters ( n z w ) over and over
    again during their set, and we couldn't figure out why...until
    
    It was U S M, upside down!
    
    Upside down for the whole set! Brilliant! Bet someones out of a job
    now!
    
    Steve.
    

    "S" upside down is still "S"..

    Okay, so it looked like a z. There were only about 10 lights tall. It's
    pretty difficult to get a decent s at that resolution.
    
    Steve.
    

    Rod and I saw them in Geneva, so there. No USM block of lights though.
    
    And Christophe had a mad attack of stage-diving too.
    
    And do I win a prize for having Fruitbat scrawl all over my sweatshirt?
    Or for searching fruit(bat)lessly for a Cinelli cycling cap?
    
    Piers

              <<< Note 892.11 by RUTILE::LETCHER "No dark days" >>>

>    Rod and I saw them in Geneva, so there. No USM block of lights though.
    
>    And Christophe had a mad attack of stage-diving too.
    
>    And do I win a prize for having Fruitbat scrawl all over my sweatshirt?
>    Or for searching fruit(bat)lessly for a Cinelli cycling cap?
    
>    Piers


What were they like? Do they use tapes or are Jim Bob and Fruitbat augmented
by other musicians?

On the quest,

Stuart

    Brilliant.
    
    Very Loud.
    
    They use tapes.
    
    Piers

Can anyone tell me if Sheriff Fatman is on 101 Damnations.

I thenk yew,


Stuart


BTW havent manage to find 101 Damnations, but have got my mits on tickets
    for Carter U.S.M at Brixton,. Now what to wear??

RE -.1 Sherriff Fatman is on 101 Damnations but you're better off buying the E.P.
as well 'cos all the tracks are really good.

 They (being CTUSM) are playing in McGonagles in Dublin on the 10th OCT. 
Got my tix.

           Nially

    Buy the lot, or be forever branded a cheapskate.
    
    As for dress codes, that depends on girth. If you're large enough to be
    called a fat bastard then you might as well wear a fruit carton and
    have done with it (that's what happened in Geneva, anyway). If you're a
    little slimmer then the Cinelli cycling hat would be the thing, though
    you could get away with Campagnolo.
    
    Piers

  I believe that is possible to buy Carter U.S.M t-shirts emblazoned with
"You Fat Batsard" on the back. Any pointers?

 Stuart

    My Carter T-shirt says "Martine, you missed me - Fruitbat!" on the
    back, in the man's piss-poor handwriting, and has "Unstoppable" on the
    left sleeve, and "Sex Machine" on the right sleeve. Very fetching. If
    they'd had a "Fat Bastard" T-shirt I'd have bought it...
    
    Piers

    My fave Carter T-shirt
    
    "C'mon baby, Light my fag" - from the Reading Fest
    
    Mikef

    The Carter gig in McGonagles(Dublin) on the 10th was great but a little
    brief. The "set " consisted of three massive strobes directly behind
    the band.
     The set was pretty good e.g. Anytime Anyplace Anywhere etc. and they
    played all of the new "After the Watershed" E.P. which is pretty good.
    They didn't play "Rent" though and that left me a little dissapointed.
    Thier cover of the Inspiral Carpets "This is How it Feels" form the new
    E.P. was one of the highlights as was the chant "You fat bastards"
       Not bad for �6.50 eh?
    
            Niall
    
    p.s. 101 Damnations has gone on re-release so it should be really easy
    to get.
    
         

	Guildford Civic Hall on Thursday.

	F-reg.

              <<< Note 892.11 by RUTILE::LETCHER "No dark days" >>>

    
>    And do I win a prize for having Fruitbat scrawl all over my sweatshirt?
>    Or for searching fruit(bat)lessly for a Cinelli cycling cap?
    
      As I was leaving the T&C, a young chap handing out flyers was sporting
      a U.S.M cycling hat.

      Although I havent heard it myself, a couple of people have told me
      that Carter have a new single out with ( something ) along the lines
      of "Goodbye Ruby Tuesday , come back you silly cow".

      Stuart

   Saw them on TOTP last night - what can I say - I was well impressed,
   quite a good song, as least the music is OK but it will probably sound
   better the more I hear of it.  Not exactly the Sex Pistols are they 8-)

   Goldy.

I bought the single on my way home last night - called Over (?) The Watershed. 
The CD has 4 tracks, and on 1 listen I'd say the first is the weakest! They're 
still well up to form.

grahame

	Carter USM - Guidlford Civic Hall 24/10/91

	Very ordinary gig. Its the first (and last time) I've seen them
	and I'm just not happy with a band playing this sort of music without a 
	real bass player and drummer. Played the well known songs which went
	down well. I shall confine myself to their vinyl rather than live 
	outings in the future. And the bar was dry.


	The Fridge.

     <<< Note 892.25 by FORTY2::ETHERIDGE "Alright! I'll get the lard!" >>>
                          -< Dont believe the hype. >-

>	Carter USM - Guidlford Civic Hall 24/10/91

        Perhaps the good burghers of Guildford do not quite understand what
        Sarf Lundun's ( sorry Lush fans ) are on abaht.

        Stuart

    
    Got to say they sound like an early '80s 'new-wave' (just post punk)
    band to me. I was very dissapointed to hear them after all the hype.
    
    Mark

	The good burghers need not understand; they need only recognise that 
	John-Boy and Dingbat might as well go the whole hog, tape the 
	guitars and bring along tennis rackets instead. Fruitcake could even 
	borrow my hairbrush if he wants to tape the vocals aswell. 

	Yours, from the nicer part of Surrey,
	
	F-reg

     <<< Note 892.28 by FORTY2::ETHERIDGE "Alright! I'll get the lard!" >>>
                          -< Fruit-flan and Jim-Jams >-

>	The good burghers need not understand; they need only recognise that 
>	John-Boy and Dingbat might as well go the whole hog, tape the 
>	guitars and bring along tennis rackets instead. Fruitcake could even 
>	borrow my hairbrush if he wants to tape the vocals aswell. 

>	Yours, from the nicer part of Surrey,
	
>	F-reg


1/ I appreciate your opinion.

2/ I saw They Might Be Giants ( a duo, who also play all their taped 
   instruments), and I thoroughly enjoyed their concert.

3/ I am going to see C:U.S.M on their "home turf" ( Brixton ), and I 
   know that the audience is going to be wild, and I know that I will enjoy 
   their sub/post/pre-industrial/new wave/nuform/new potatoes brand of music.


   The Coldest Stream Guard of them ALL

	re .29

	In all fairness, Brixton Academy would be a much better venue to see 
	this lot. It definitely lacked atmosphere, and I'm not being ageist 
	here (oh alright, yes I am), but a vast proportion of the audience were
	less than 15 years old (that accounts for the dry bar) and the whole 
	thing smelt of "school disco". 

	Schmecko.

	

     <<< Note 892.30 by FORTY2::ETHERIDGE "Alright! I'll get the lard!" >>>
                     -< Guildford Civic = Poultice venue
 >-

>	less than 15 years old (that accounts for the dry bar) and the whole 
>	thing smelt of "school disco". 

        To a man of my advancing years and descent of morals, that sounds
       	like a real good venue.

        Yours, slipping on my mac,

        Stuart

   Saw Carter USM on the terrible Smash Hits Poll Winners Party yesterday.
   Good performance but at the end they started kicking the amplifiers
   across the stage.  Philip Yuk Schofield, presening the show, looked
   at CUSM and said "Blimey, very original".  With that, one of CUSM ran
   across the stage, jumped on Schofield and knocked him to the floor.
   Why didn't he kill him?

   Goldy.

    Re .32
    
    Dead already, maybe?
    
    B

re .32

What actually happened was that one of them kicked over a microphone stand.  
This being the sort of thing that the Bay City Rollers used to do, they were 
cut off mid-song.  This is when they started kicking the amps over and when 
Philip "Shiny white teeth" Schofield poured crap out of his mouth, as usual.  
All in all, it was pretty funny.

Paul

   Yeah, well, the programme was so terrible I was only half watching while
   I was reading my book!

    
    Any band who appear on the Smash Hits Party awards show (or whatever
    it's called) have about as much credibility as the Rollers, IMHO! 
    
    Still they'll be remembered as the band who were tough enough to beat
    Philip Schofield up on the Weeny Boppers Pop awards proggy! WOW!
    
    Mark

I thought that CUSM were the best band on too - esp. when one of 'em got 
Schofield :-)

the band that did OPP were pretty good too - I was quite surprised that they
were allowed to do that song considering the average age of the audience was
about 13.


...art

>the band that did OPP were pretty good too - I was quite surprised that they
>were allowed to do that song considering the average age of the audience was
>about 13.

I was travelling back from London last night on the train with what seemed like
half the girlies who were there.  Luckily there was a smoking carriage to
hide in. ;-)

Paul

   What annoyed me was, although I didn't want to hear the music or words 
   of songs particularly, the bloomen' kids screaming all the way through
   made it impossible to understand or hear anything.

   Do we have a SHPWP topic?

  I was listening to GLR on Sunday afternoon and Jim Bob phoned up from
the Smash Hits party ( before they went on ). He to doubted what they were
doing there and about their credibility, but he did mention that they had
been out to Off Licence because there wasn't a bar at the concert.

Stuart

   In today's Sun (I found it on the train, honest) it said that CUSM's 
   behaviour at the party was childish and unnecessary and offensive.  
   Philip Schofield was quoted by a BBC Spokesperson as being the Queen Mum 
   of Entertainment, or summat like that, and also that CUSM will not be 
   allowed on a live television programme again.

   Shame.  I approved of Jim-Bob and Fruitbat's behaviour - serves Schofield
   right.

   CUSM also claimed to have beaten up Jason Donovan although this was denied
   by Jason's manager as saying that CUSM wouldn't be around to say that if
   they had!

   Goldy.

"In today's Sun" Hmmm.. That wouldn't be Jonathan King's column, would it,
the much-loved and respected fat bas.. I mean, elder statesman of pop?


Rod

   No, it was Piers "I'm jolly good mates with everyone" Morgan.

No doubt's Carter's record sales will increase dramatically.  Even so, I 
think 'After the Watershed' was at about 13 this week in the charts.

Paul

    Actually it charted at no.16 and climbed to no.11 at the week-end. This
    makes it by far their highest charting single .Sherriff fatman want to
    no.23.
    
           Niall

...that fool Derek Jameson was on the radio this morning saying that the whole
thing was staged.  Apparently Fruitbat confessed all.  Didn't catch who he
confessed it to though.  The whole thing sounds very reminiscent of EMF playing
silly buggers at the same bash last year.

What are we going on about anyway?  Smash Hits indeed, I thought this was a
music notesfile.

Lee

re< Note 892.46 by POBBLE::COTTON "Yet Knish" >
>
> What are we going on about anyway?  Smash Hits indeed, I thought this was a
> music notesfile.

   
   Don't know what gave you that idea.  I thought this was the Philip 
   Schofield Appreciation Society.

   Goldy.

Lee. You listen to *Derek Jameson*??? 


Rod

It was innocently overheard, Rod.  It wasn't even my radio.  I've never listened
to the radio in my life  In fact, I wasn't there at all, I made the whole 
thing up.

Carter USM: Crap puns or what?  With titles like `The Road to Domestos', these
guys ought to write for the NME.

Hold the front page: `In bed with Carter'; live video out soon at all good video
shops.  Seems a bit pointless to me though, surley they're too rowdy and dancy
a band to sit in front of your T.V. set to?

Lee

    
    If it's anything like In Bed With Madonna it'll well worth missing.
    
    OR maybe it's supposed to be boring? After all what else could you
    do in bed with Madonna, except sleep?
    
    Mark

    I'm just going to register my deep disappointment that Britain's
    premier alcohol-related band should choose to play at a dry venue.
    
    Piers not Morgan
    

    <<< Note 892.51 by RUTILE::LETCHER "Just when the thought occurs..." >>>
                   -< The Harvey's Bristol Moon is sinking >-

>    I'm just going to register my deep disappointment that Britain's
>    premier alcohol-related band should choose to play at a dry venue.
    
>    Piers not Morgan
 

   Then I shall drink for 2 on Saturday.

    Stuart   

    Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere.
    
    Piers

	 Phew what a scorcher!!!  

         Stuart


         BTW I was unaware that Phillip Schofield's previous career was as
             a banker. Well at least thats what 2000 people appeared to be
             chanting.

  Carter have been on tour in America, it would be interesting to hear
  what the "colonials" made of them.

  There is a "Carterzine" - "Lies, Lies, Lies " available.

  Rubbish is out.

  Finally Club Carter can be contacted at 

  P.O Box 709
  London
  SE19 1JY

   

  "You Fat Bas****" T-shirts via mail order.

   

   Stuart
 

    "Rubbish" isn't supposed to come out 'till Dec 30 I read,
    
          Niall
    

                     <<< Note 892.56 by XSTACY::NBLEHEIN >>>
                                     -< ? >-

>    "Rubbish" isn't supposed to come out 'till Dec 30 I read,
    
>          Niall
 

Ooops... I've been rumbled.


Stuart


BTW Should "In bed with Carter" be mentioned in my letter to Santa?   

	Carter toured with EMF in Boston. I missed the show unfortunately.

	Ed

    How about a review anyone ?
    

"Rubbish" comes with a Carterised version of P.S.B's Rent. So much
better than the original.


I have also acquired a "Sheriff Fatman" shirt with "You Fat B@st@rd" on the
back.


Stu@rt

re< Note 892.60 by YUPPY::PANES "Rubbish on the radio" >
>
>
> "Rubbish" comes with a Carterised version of P.S.B's Rent. 


   That has got to be worth hearing!

    It's also got a note (on my original, anyway, dunno about the re-issue)
    from jim Bob to the effect that Carter are happy to let the Pet Shop
    Boys have the royalties; they could use the money, stuff the poll tax.
    
    Piers

Carter play Brixton Academy May 22/23.

I'm there.

Stuart

>Carter play Brixton Academy May 22/23.

>I'm there.
    
    Stuart, you should have waited till May 22nd.

    Stuart,
    
    Carter USM & FE!!
    
    Why do you have this thing about dodgy young men in shorts?
    
    Confused of Bounds Green

                <<< Note 892.65 by YUPPY::OHAGAN "Reg Varney" >>>
                                  -< Rubbish >-

>    Stuart,
    
>    Carter USM & FE!!
    
>    Why do you have this thing about dodgy young men in shorts?
    
>    Confused of Bounds Green




Kindred spirits?



Stuart


BTW Whats the difference between Arsenal and a tea-bag?

    A tea-bag stays in the cup longer.

	
	Sarf Lundun's finest have announced the their next single release.
	Due out on March 30th, it is entitled "The Only Living Boy in New Cross".
        It comes with a version of the Smith's "Panic" and on the CD/12" 
        version an extra Carter song ( which they describe as "pretty bloody
        strange") "Watching the Big Apple Turn Over".

        Their third album "1992 the Love Album" is released on May 5th and the
         "Big F*** Off World Tour", kicks off April 29th in Gloucester.

        Club Carter have secured a limited number of the mini album
        "Hand Built by Perverts", This contains "Sheriff Fatman, RSPCE, Twin
         Tub With Guitar, Rent and Alternative Alf Garnett".


         Stuart



    

Stuart,

Was ANY of that last note true?!!

grahame

              <<< Note 892.68 by FORTY2::ASH "Grahame Ash @REO" >>>

>Stuart,

>Was ANY of that last note true?!!

>grahame



Yes. Faithfully reproduced from the Club Carter newsletter. They also
have some intresting new stickers which use condom packets as a background.

Stuart


Reading ( Rivermead ) April 30th supported by The Frank and Walters.

    
    Can you tell us when they're in Manchester Stu?
    
    Paul

             <<< Note 892.70 by MINDER::GLYNNP "Randy Sarf Git" >>>

    
>    Can you tell us when they're in Manchester Stu?
    
>    Paul


It appears that they are not playing Moancheater, but are at the Royal
Court, Liverpool, May 6th.

Stuart

    Begging letter:
    
    Mail me please please please with a) any European dates, and b)
    detailed club info. It's a cultural (read: Carter) desert out here...
    
    Piers

  The new Carter single, will now be released 13/4/92.

  Stuart

    
    Is that the one they mentions 'The good, the bad and the average' ?
    
    I heard a bit of something on the radio today that sounded very
    Carterish.
    
    Paul

                    <<< Note 892.74 by BLKPUD::WATTERSONP >>>

    
>    Is that the one they mentions 'The good, the bad and the average' ?
    
>    I heard a bit of something on the radio today that sounded very
>    Carterish.
    
>    Paul


I havent heard it yet, but I'm looking forward to their version of "Panic".


Stuart

Carter have announced the track listing for the forthcoming "1992 - The
Love Album" ( I will try and post it here next week ). It does not
include "After the Watershed", cos of the problem with the Rolling Stones.

They are doing a benefit gig under an assumed name ( but I aint going to
say where until I have got my tickets ).

More news as it happens.


Stuart

    "CARTER, UNSTOPPABLE NAUGHTY TROUSERS" would be more appropriate.
    
    (I don't have to explain this to anyone do I?)
    

                    <<< Note 892.74 by BLKPUD::WATTERSONP >>>

    
>    Is that the one they mentions 'The good, the bad and the average' ?
    
>    I heard a bit of something on the radio today that sounded very
>    Carterish.
    
>    Paul



Paul,

You were right. The lines are from their new block busting single
"The Only Living Boy in New Cross".

Stuart

    Should be            Carter  The Unstoppable Twats

    <<< Note 892.79 by SUBURB::WAITEG "Only the man who says no is free" >>>

>    Should be            Carter  The Unstoppable Twats


A well constructed note Gary.


Cheers,

Stuart

   The forthcoming release "1992: The Love Album" has the following tracks;

   "1993"
   "Is Wrestling Fixed?"
   "The Only Living Boy in New Cross"
   "Suppose You Gave a Funeral and Nobody Came"
   "England"
   "Do Re Me So Far So Good"
   "Look Mum, No Hands"
   "While You Were Out"
   "Skywest and Crooked" ( vocal bit at the end by Ian Dury)
   "The Impossible Dream"


    Tonight , South London's finest are playing the Corran Hall in Oban,
    unfortunately I can't make it, but it should be wild.


    Stuart


    BTW The Carter fanzine "Lies, Lies, Lies " is available from 
          
        Angus,
        7 Mervan Road,
        London 
        SW2 1DP   ( South West?  Surely some mistake )

        (pound sign) 1.30 inc p&p

    For a pound sign, hold down the compress key, press the space bar,
    release both keys and type L-.  Et voil� �.

    BTW, do Carter write their own songs?!

            <<< Note 892.83 by ARRODS::WHITEHEADJ "FIND A SPACE!" >>>

>    For a pound sign, hold down the compress key, press the space bar,
>    release both keys and type L-.  Et voil� �.

>    BTW, do Carter write their own songs?!


Apart from cover versions all songs are credited to Morrison/Carter .


Stuart �,�,�'s

    I have a Carter ticket for sale for Rivermead 30th April. It cost me �7
    and that's what I'll sell it for.
    
    Tony

  I'm off to see Billy Boy and the Wild Bananas at the Venue on Thursday.

  Should be fun.

  Stuart

        
        I strolled light of heart and with a spring in my stride to 
        the Venue New Cross. The occasion, a benefit concert in aid of 
        the Big Issue.
        
        The evening opened up with London's only Armenian rapper, who 
        to be quite frank when down like a cup of cold sick the 
        audience, who had come to see their heroes, Billy Boy and the 
        Wild Bananas.
        
        In case you haven't guessed this is how Carter:U.S.M billed
        themselves.
        
        There was an atmosphere of excited expectancy as the voice of 
        Dick James singing "Robin Hood" blared from the P.A., which 
        reached fever pitch when Jim Bob and Fruity hit the stage.
        
        
        When Carter came on they treated us to about 90 minutes of old 
        songs, new songs and a few cover versions ( would you believe 
        "Another Brick in the Wall", and a cracking rendition of "Down 
        in the Tube Station at Midnight").
        
        
        Seven quid well spent.
        
        Carter are having a run in with The Rolling Stones over After 
        the Watershed. They have offered Jagger/Richards 20% royalties 
        ( for 2 words and 5 notes!!!!), but the dinosaurs wont agree. 
        In the meantime they cannot release it on album, nor 
        supposedly perform it.
        
        May 5th is release date for "1992: The Love Album ", and 
        expect some interesting things done with brussel sprouts.
        
        
        
        Stuart

        
>        Carter are having a run in with The Rolling Stones over After 
>        the Watershed. They have offered Jagger/Richards 20% royalties 
>        ( for 2 words and 5 notes!!!!), but the dinosaurs wont agree. 
>        In the meantime they cannot release it on album, nor 
>        supposedly perform it.
        
Hi Stuo,

I heard that this run-in was actually with Allen Klein (Boo, Hiss) who has 
sole rights to all Jagger-Richards music - he doesn't even have to consult 
them. (Think I read that in 'Q'.) But it's still pathetic.

grahame

              <<< Note 892.90 by FORTY2::ASH "Grahame Ash @REO" >>>
                           -< Stones Are Innocent? >-

        
        
>Hi Stuo,

>I heard that this run-in was actually with Allen Klein (Boo, Hiss) who has 
>sole rights to all Jagger-Richards music - he doesn't even have to consult 
>them. (Think I read that in 'Q'.) But it's still pathetic.

>grahame


In that case I apologise unreservedly.

Stuart "allegedly" Panes

    Three words, surely - "Goodbye", "Ruby" and "Tuesday". That's a 50%
    markup by my reckoning.
    
    Piers "accountability" Letcher
    

   1992: The Love Album  is out on the streets. On the first listening I
was a little disappointed as it seemed to be less raw than previous offerings.
The songs, as ever, attack such diverse issues as a woman with m.s being
stretchered into court to pay the poll tax she could ill afford, a woman
being forced into prostitution, AIDS, and a cynical look at pop music.

The lyrics contain the normal witty/ghastly puns and the music features 
numerous styles. There is a deliciously over the top version of "The Impossible
Dream" and now after 2/3 listens I think the album is a bit of a belter.

Go on, be a groovy ****** and invest in an aural orgasm.

Stuart 
  

    Carter:U.S.M. Brixton Academy 22/5/92.


    Same set as the New Cross concert. More "post-punk anarcho posturing,
    washed down with gallons of lager" ( Adam Sweeting)

    Thrills, spills and lots more.

    Stuart 
  
    

     According to the N.M.E Carter have been causing some confusion in
     the Land of the Brave - Home of the Free, by putting up posters
     with the featuring a picture of the ex-President from Georgia and
     bearing the words "Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine - Coming soon "
    ( or something ). Some Democrats took this to be part of a Republican 
     smear campaign.

     I had a quick word with that nice Fruitbat in Calais, but unfortunately
     thats the last I got to see of them.

     Stuart
    

        Press next unseen if you bore easily

        
        I had set the alarm for 6:30 knowing that I would be far from 
        my sharpest, having attended a redundancy(leaving) "do" the 
        previous night.
        
        Two days away? - simple! Just grab a Safeway bag, insert a 
        change of t-shirt and assorted foundation garments, tootie 
        brush , towel blah blah. This, to someone not hungover is a 
        simple task- to  Panes suffering from the wrath of grapes, the 
        merest movement required herculean endeavour.
        
        I eventually manage to pull myself out of "Ol' Gritty" ( a pet 
        name for my bed ), haul myself into the bath , cleanse my 
        lithe young (pah!) form and embark on the necessary chores.
        
        Cat feeding time induces the normal violent physical 
        reactions. Having decided that this was no way to prepare for 
        a jolly weekend away, I plumped for a little pick-me-up.
        
        I had arranged to meet The Beast ( no relation ), and three 
        other chaps that I hardly knew at Victoria - Brian ( quiet but 
        a reasonable sort of cove ), Mark ( slightly louder but sort 
        of sensible ), and Darren ( 21, big, none too bright and mad 
        as ****).
        
        Dover - ferry - Calais and off to the Videotel. Dropped off 
        the bags and headed to the bar ( 6' x 6 ' ). Being a true 
        European I encouraged ingratiation with the staff and soon 
        found that Christopher the manager was a jolly good egg.
        
        Darren " Are there any bars round here mate?"
        
        Christopher " Yes at the shopping centre ".
        
        
        .... to the shopping centre and my 15 minutes of fame. I 
        spotted a Fruitbat.  He ended up in the same bar as us, and 
        having confirmed that Jimbob is indeed a Palace fan, he told 
        me that the Festival arangements were " a bit of a cock-up".
        
        More beers, then back to the hotel to "freshen-up". Brian and 
        Mark decided that "freshening up" was best held in the hotel 
        bar.
        
        It is now 18:00hrs. A few quick stiffies and than off to the 
        fort. This would normally be a 15 minute walk, but Brian and 
        Mark decided that they would do their Flanagan and Allen 
        impression.  By now the heavens had broken. Got to the 
        entrance handed in ticket - saw stage - saw a few people 
        milling about and learned that "Its cancelled , due to the 
        rain".
        
        The mood was ugly ( in fact so were most of the people). The 
        security wallahs were spraying mace around. After a decent 
        time milling and moaning we decided to head off to pastures 
        new, past an ever increasing police present who seemed that 
        they were quite prepared for a spot of mindless violence ( 
        theirs not ours ). 
        
        It was a bloody long walk to wherever we were going, but 
        eventually found a "local" bar. Darren had "peaked" a little 
        early, and after a while felt the need to lie down  - right in 
        the middle of the bar. Discretion being the better part of 
        valour , I asked the rather large chap behind the bar if he 
        would kindly call a cab for my friend.  The Beast and I 
        decided to move on, and found a rather accepctable Chinese 
        restaurant.
        
        We then headed back to the hotel. In between times Darren had 
        received a baton to the head and Brian a blow to the stomach, 
        courtesy of Le Plod.
        
        Sunday morning, the Beast is not feeling to good ( he had to 
        have a week off work )and enthusiasm for James had waned in 
        certain quarters. Darren, Le Bete et moi decide to cut our 
        losses and return to Blighty.  Mark and Brian stay. They 
        bumped into Tim Booth(e) and he said that they were definitely 
        playing that night. M&B mooched off to the campsite where they 
        met up with some people who were at Alton Towers the previous 
        week ( another James gig - saddo!!! ). Apparently the previous 
        nights escapades had been on the local(?) television and the 
        press had featured a chappy ( who was near us ) on stage with 
        a big Union Flag with CARTER:U.S.M adorned. It gets more and 
        more like football.
        
        The remaining chaps watched James , although it was Mark's 
        turn to feel unwell. At the end of the concert and ambulance 
        was called, and there is now a part of France that will 
        forever be Mark's appendix.
        
        
        I had a good time anyway!!
        
        
        Stuart

    
    tootie-brush?
    
    PPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    
    Seriously though Stu, enjoyed your review.
    
    Paul

Carter Brixton 21-22/12/92. Go on give yourself an early Christmas present.


Stuart

 Messrs Bob and Bat are releasing "The Impossible Dream" as their seasonal
 gift to the general public.

 I might even watch the Christmas T.O.T.P ( if its still going).

 Stuart:L.C.G

Carter:U.S.M release a new video 28/9/92. I have absolutely no idea what is
on it, I do not have a V.C.R, but I'm going to buy it and  I can't wait for
Mummy & Daddy to invite me round to lunch. 

Stuart

    I'm sure they'll enjoy it as much as my old man enjoyed seeing
    Hawkwind.
    
    Bob

Your parents were LUCKY, I took `Fields of the Nephilim'! :-)

								- JIM CAD*

Anyone know when they're playing the Aston Villa Leisure Centre In Birmingham?
I thought they were playing there around the time of the dates in London?

Steve.

       <<< Note 892.103 by WAYOUT::LOAT "Bored....Bored....BORED!!!!" >>>


>Anyone know when they're playing the Aston Villa Leisure Centre In Birmingham?
>I thought they were playing there around the time of the dates in London?

>Steve.


I will try and dig out the dates tonight.

Stuart

Aston Villa Leisure Centre 12/12/92

Many Thanx

Nice early Christmas present!

Steve.

Bobby and Batty are currently trying to educate America. They are playing
the Paradise in Boston Oct 27.  Me, well I'll think I'll try for the Paradiso
in Amsterdam ( 11/11/92).

Panes

Thanks

    Panes, am I right in thinking that you are making the trip to 
    Amshhterdam with the Young Christian Carter USM fan club? And that
    when not attending the gig your time will be spent avoiding any
    establishments of questionable moral conduct in favour of the odd
    glass of pop and few hearty verses of "Kum-By-Yar-My-Lord"? Nah, 
    thought not. 
    
    ^)
    
    barry.  

    <<< Note 892.109 by ARRODS::OHAGANB "Dirk, Nasty, Stig, Barry, Leggy" >>>
                  -< Someone's plastered me Lord, Kum-By-Yar >-

>    Panes, am I right in thinking that you are making the trip to 
>    Amshhterdam with the Young Christian Carter USM fan club? And that
>    when not attending the gig your time will be spent avoiding any
>    establishments of questionable moral conduct in favour of the odd
>    glass of pop and few hearty verses of "Kum-By-Yar-My-Lord"? Nah, 
>    thought not. 
    
>    ^)
    
>    barry.  


   Barry,

   You are of course correct, except the grouping is in fact the Provisional
   wing of the Salvation Army.


   Stuart

    The Impossible Dream is now in a record shop near you. It comes with
    "When Thesauruses Ruled the World ", urn On, Tune In and Switch Off", and
     another track, the name of which escapes me.

     Carter sponsored the trainers bench at the Palace - Forest game on 
     Saturday. The announcer sounded somewhat puzzled.


    Stuart

    Teensy bit disappointed with the cover of Another Brick in The Wall on
    the NME Ruby Trax compilation.
    
    Piers

      <<< Note 892.112 by RUTILE::LETCHER "Runaway Argument in Hotspot" >>>

>    Teensy bit disappointed with the cover of Another Brick in The Wall on
>    the NME Ruby Trax compilation.
    
>    Piers


So you've got it then.... whats EMF's version of "Shaddup your face " like?

Stuart

    Most Excellent!
    
    Piers

    
    Re.111:
    
    The last track is "Bring on the girls" and the 12" version has got some
    postcards or something....
    
    Greg...

    I think I've been converted!  A friend lent me a tape which has 30
    Something and 101 Damnations on it on Thursday and, always one for going
    into things wholeheartedly, haven't listened to anything else yet.

    So far I like most of the tracks on 30 Something - especially two of them
    but I don't know the titles cos I don't have a track listing.  One has the
    chorus "Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, the big shop is open
    it's a wonderful world" and the next track starts off something like
    "to die for his mother's country is every father's wish, but if you're
    ever feeling hungry, feast your eyes on this".  What are the correct
    titles?

    Also, does anyone have 30 Something and 101 Damnations on CD that they
    would be prepared to lend to me?

    Cheers,
    Jane.

  You might be interested to know that Carter are currently touring*. The
  remaining dates are;

   5/FEB  Gold Coast  -  Playroom
   6/FEB  Brisbane    -  Metropolis
   9/FEB  Osaka       -  Quattro
  10/FEB  Nagoya      -  Quattro
  12/FEB  Kawasaki    -  Citta
  13/FEB  Tokyo       -  Quattro
  14/FEB  Tokyo       -  Quattro ( a Valentines treat perhaps ?)

  
  Stuart

  * Or as it says on the back of their Australasia/Asia T-shirt 
    "Still on F***ing Tour"
 

    
    RE 116
    
    1. Shoppers Paradise.
    2. Sorry can't remember.
    
    If you'ld like more info let me know.
    
    Mike W.
    
    

    It's the "Glasgow Kiss" song, as far as I can remember.
    
    Piers

    The two tracks are Shoppers Paradise and Billy's Smart Circus.
    I treated myself to 30 Something!

    Goldy.

Informed sources tell me that the next Carter single will be out in June
followed by an album in September. The legal battle with Klein/Stones is
shortly to be resolved with the royalties going to a children's charidee 
(which of course is what Carter suggested in the first place - but Jagger
et al will claim the credit).

Stuart

    More trivia....

    The next single is likely to be "Don't Worry it may Never Happen". Carter
    are currently working on their next album. 

    Apparently they sampled a bit from a Rubettes song ( "Yeah, I can do it "),
    they asked the Rubettes it they could use it and they agreed. The publishers
    then put the block on it. Oh yeah, the publishers are owned by one 
    M Jackson.


    Stuart

    BTW Carter are rumoured to be playing an unannounced support slot 
        in London in the next few days.

    So, Stuart, what's it worth to keep the covers on this thing?
    
    Being as how I can't get to the gig anyway...
    
    Piers

        <<< Note 892.123 by SAC::LETCHER_P "Bargain basement Britain" >>>

>    So, Stuart, what's it worth to keep the covers on this thing?
    
>    Being as how I can't get to the gig anyway...
    
>    Piers


  Piers,

  Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

  Stuart

By all accounts Carter played a storming set at "Feet First" ( Camden Palace )
last night. They were billed as Do Re Me.

Tour dates have been announced and as soon as I have some time I will post them
here.


Stuart

    Interview with Carter in the Melody Maker this week, Stuart.
    
    Bib

    And in NME too.
    
    GrEg...

  

    New Carter single ( Lean Me I Won't Fall Over ) released last Monday.
    It comes with a version of the Sugarcubes' "Hit" and "Always The 
    Bridesmaid Never The Bride".

    The album "Post Historic Monsters" is released 6/9/93 and has the
    following track listing;

    2 Million Years B.C.
    The Music That Nobody Likes
    Mid Day Crisis
    Cheer Up, It Might Never Happen  
    Stuff The Jubilee
    A Bachelor For Baden Powell
    Spoilsports Personality Of The Year
    Suicide Isn't Painless
    Being Here
    Evil
    Sing Fat Lady Sing
    Travis
    Lean On Me I won't Fall Over
    Lenny and Terence
    Under The Thumb And Over The Moon

    Stuart

Worth buying just to read the titles! New single VG too.

g

    Haven't heard it yet but the album is bound to be good with titles
    like Stuff the Jubilee!

Anyone else bought Post Historic Monsters? Comments?

Stuart

    Can't bloody find it, in Geneva.
    
    Piers

    Listened to most if it.  Not quite up to the standard of 30-Something,
    but The Music that Nobody Likes is excellent and so is Stuff the Jubilee.
    Also, Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride is listenable, but still
    can't get to grips with Lean on Me.

    Jane.

  Today , Carter release the second single from the album ;


  "Lenny and Terence" ( Sexy Daytime Radio Mix )

  the B-sides are;
 
   "Her Song"
   "Commercial Fxxxxg Suicide Part 1" *
   "Stuff The Jubilee! 1977 "  ( a punk version )
   

   Stuart

   * my "x"s not theirs.

    And Tonight they are playing the Reading Rivermead centre....
    
    
    Should be good

    Not been too intersted in Carter for a while, but I heard the new
    single last night (Lenny and Terence?), its very good.  Noise.
    
    Mikef

Still not convinced by the latest album. Nothing too new I guess. Lean on Me 
wasn't bad tho.

Balders

    re-1
    >>Still not convinced by the latest album. Nothing too new I guess. 
    
    Ooohh, coming from someone who until recently would only listen to 
    a piece of music if it was at least thirty minutes long, and had a
    title like 'The cosmogony of the omnipotent Ashra  as recited by the
    descending sun kings of Om'....
    
    Mikef

>    title like 'The cosmogony of the omnipotent Ashra  as recited by the
>    descending sun kings of Om'....
 
Not one I've heard of Mike. Was it by Yes ?

Listening to Post Historic Monsters just now, I've realised that what bugs me
the uneveness of the album. Previous output seemed a lot more consistent, but
there is just too much weak material on the new album for it to really grab me.

Balders

    The gig last night was aboslutly brilliant. Jim Bob was wearing a
    T-Shirt that had "I HATE PEANUTS" printed on it.....
    
    Songs were brill, the show had loads of energy, brilliant lighting etc
    etc and I LOVED IT
    
    They were much better than when they played XFM.
    
    Linsey

 Brixton - last Friday

 Thrills , spills and a whole lot more.

 Stuart

    	So tell us more then.

      <<< Note 892.142 by ARRODS::WHITEHEADJ "What Katie did next...." >>>

>    	So tell us more then.


I can't really, except the chaps were in tip-top form and I danced like
a banshee. 


Stuart

    Wailed like one, too, if memory serves me right.
    
    Piers

'Ere Piers,

 You being a bit of an ex-music journo, how about posting a critique
 of C:U.S.M's latest offering.

 Stuart

They shout the lyrics which contain a lot of puns with a sort of lefty 
London sensibility in which the humour is underlain by a bleak worldview
however you can turn the music up and jump around to it without worrying
about that.


Rod

    Suicide Isn't Painless, Rod.
    
    Piers

 New single "Glam Rock Cops" out next week . ( I think ).

    
    ....also an album of B-sides and oddities is due out shortly. Its
    called 'Starry Eyed and Bollock Naked'.
    
    Andy 

           <<< Note 892.149 by YUPPY::ASHLEYSMITH "ashib smitty?" >>>
                          -< For those interested... >-

    
>    ....also an album of B-sides and oddities is due out shortly. Its
>    called 'Starry Eyed and Bollock Naked'.
    
>    Andy 


    Gosh thats me confused. I receive a postcard from Club Carter, 
    and I got the impression that Glam Rock Cops was going
    to be released in 2 different forms ( one out this week and one
    next week). They have cover of Carter songs by people like
    Sultans of Ping and Blade and some remixes of old C:USM sterff.

    Stuart

    re last couple - You're both right.  The singles are coming out,.
    along with a B sides lp, kind of 'A hatfull of Carter'...  I think 
    there s a radio 1 session on soon also.  They now have a drummer
    playing with them.
    
    Mikef
    
     

    >They now have a drummer playing with them.
    
    He's a talented musician from the Southampton area called Wes.  Our
    tenant 'knew' him before he went to London to seek fame and fortune,
    (which I suppose he's now found).
    
    tp

    Saw them just before Christmas in Bristol. Brilliant...... Ace gig,
    they were very good with Wes, he must be very fit for all the energetic
    drumming he has to do.
    
    They did an ace cover if Shampoo's "were in trouble".
    
    Took about 4 days for my hearing to come back properly.....
    
    
    Linsey

The chaps have a new album out in February/March..I have the details somewhere
and will enter them here when I get the chance.

Stuart

saw them doing Trouble on MTV's most wanted a couple of months ago.  quite 
amusing.

    Briefly saw Carter in London's Virgin Megastore, they were setting
    up to play, although Jim-Bob was being interviewed by Virgin's resident
    DJ. After a brief interview, which was basically discussing the name
    of the band (is the 't' in Carter pronounced?), Jim-Bob looked down
    into the store and looked straight into my eyes and smiled. Ah, a 
    new claim to fame?

    Jane.

Yes... childhood reliving time is here again. Off to see Messrs Bob and Bat 
and whoever else at the Astoria on 20/9/96.

Stuart

    Arf arf. Fruitbat's real name is Leslie Carter!
    
    Goldy.

    ..and Jim Bob's real name is Jim Morrison!

    I knew that! It's taken me years to find out Fruitbat's name!
    
    Goldy.