Conference marvin::uk_music

    
    Don't forget KLF! 
    
    Unbelievably BAD! :^)
    
    Mark

    re-1,
    
    There are many arguments that would support the KLF to be a good
    progressive band.  No one else sounds like them.
    
    >Cows?  - do you mean the Inspirals?
    
    Moo!

    No Matty. The Cows are one of these manic thrash outfits (a la The
    Stretcheads). It's kinda like furious screeching to the sound of
    white-noise guitars. It's tosh of a different kind.

    

    ...and it might even grow on me yet... -;)

    - Tim
    

    And don't forget Kylie and Jason who may have started in the 80s, but
    really belong to the 90s.
    
    And also, gag, Sonia, retch...
    
    Not to mention damn near every single chart act from 1990 and 1991.
    
    Methinks the 90s may provide the richest pickings in tosh terms. I
    mean, look at how much there is already, and we've still got 8� years
    left.
    
    Balders

    Naahhh, Kylie and Jason were definitive late eighties tosh.  I don't
    think we've had the real post-Thatcher tosh yet.  
    
    Mikef  

    Re -1 
    
    Couldnt agree more..I had the misfortune of hearing the top 20 on the
    radio yesterday (radio 1 "the official chart" as they kept
    saying)....and what a lot of crap it was cover versions, soundalikes,
    little fat scouse teenagers singing about love, god it was awful. Even
    old, crdible types like REM and Rod the mod couldnt help. Perhaps the
    current low standard of stuff around explains the vast number of
    re-issues and greatest hits around at present.
    Thank god for the Cocteaus
    Paul

    Rod the mod - credible?  for about 15 minutes in 1972 maybe!
    
    Mikef

    Mike,
    
    I was desperate...I was looking for straws as I drowned ina sea of pap.
    In fairness Rod did release some good stuff in the past..but his current
    single is awful. I remember seeing Rod at the Appollo in Glasgow (or
    was it still Greens Playhouse then ??) when he was actually very
    good..he stopped singing halfway through 'I dont wanna talk about it '
    and let the crowd finish it for him. He also said it was his birthday
    and would the crowd sing 'Flower of Scotland' (sort of the unofficial
    Scots National Anthem)...3,500 Glaswegians responded in great voice, to
    which Rod burst into tears...I knoiw my singings bad, but I felt he
    overreacted.
    Anyway back to the 90's what I hate now is the number of megastars who
    spend more time dancing in rythym and getting the visual part of it
    right at the expense of singing live...yes some of them mime in concert
    ..shock horror gasp. ..then again Sonia sounds bad eenuff in studio to
    even consider how dire she would be live.
    Paul

    I didn't realise Sonia was still around.  The one thing I heard by her
    was genuinely awful.  Is there a distinction between garbage and tosh?
    
    Mikef

    re .5
    
    Mike
    
    I've just realised that Jason could probably be categorised as 1000BC
    tosh, given his current role (rather than currant roll) in a version of
    Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour� Dreamcoat. I heard a snippet from
    this on the radio yesterday and it sounded a bit like SAW had got at
    it. Lots of poppy little twiddley bits and a naff backing rythmn track.
    Ghastly.
    
    Will Majorite tosh be blander than Thatcherite tosh?
    
    TTFN 
    Balders

    Dunno Mike...I read tosh to be pap, perhaps I should have read the
    original 'Tosh notes' as mentioned in other 70's,80's,60's tosh
    topics...but Im too lazy..the othe rtosh notes seem to be slagging off
    or remembering the bad things of the decade(s).
    Then again I like Peter Tosh.
    Cheers
    Paul
    

  What are people going to call the next decade?

  00's Tosh doesn't really roll off the tongue all that easily... course
  we mightn't be around to worry about it.

  Dave

    What about "From a distance" by Bette Midler, Cliff Richard, Bette
    Midler and almost any other singer of horrible tacky ballads around at 
    the moment.
    
    Tim
    ---

    Cliff spans the whole set. In the soon-to-be-issued 50's Tosh note
    (thanks Bob) Cliff features prominently. He comes into his own in the
    60s following his conversion.

    - Tim
    

    Just to complete the picture.....
    
    
    One needs to say no more than 'Tommy Steele'.
    
    
    
    
    
    Bob

   A hit-to-be of the 90s:  Shaving Cream by Caesar the Boogieman, 
   released by CBS Records yesterday.

    `I'd Rather Jack Than Fleetwood Mac' - Reynolds Girls.
    
    matty

    The charts could be a lot worse.
    Dial DTN 899-5970 and find out why.


    Dave

    Yes I've already done that, it'll be no.1 in a few weeks judging by
    other recent no.1s
    
    Tim
    ---

... Anything by "Roxette". Pure pap.
'nuff said
*DC

Piffle!

Roxette aren't that bad.

He-with-tix

They're not obscure so they're good. QED.    

    They're not really tosh, they just write annoying little ditties 
    (Joy-ride) and plaguarise to hell ("Listen to Your Heart?" - they
    obviously did and I bet the Wilson sisters were a little put out ).
    ....It's the gap in her teeth that really gets on my nerves.
    
    Barry.

To me, Roxette typify the side of the music business that I really
hate i.e. presentation/production is everything, zero emotional content.
They also write some of the duffest lyrics I have heard. I think this
makes them tosh, and the last few replies have been too kind.
IMHO,
*DC

    I can't stand them either so you may want to re-read my note. (Thanks!)

    I hear Diane Butcher (or rather the "actress") of East-Enders has 
    released a single. 

    Well why not, I suppose.

    Emily Bishop ought to try it. 

    Anything to get away from Percy.



    Dave

    Well, I don't reallllllllllllly know! 
    
    Mark
    
    PS I saw/heard Sophie Lawrence's record on the ITV Chart show. No
    worse, but no better than the Australian rubbish we usually suffer
    (with the honourable exception of INXS, whose latest single has
    redeemed them in my eyes (ears?)).
    
    

>>   (with the honourable exception of INXS, whose latest single has


not forgetting Midnight Oil


./..art

    
    
    or
    
    
    	Noise Works.

    re. "Diane Butcher's" single.
    
    Well she's surprised us all by debuting with a cover version; hardly
    expected her to be Bob Dylan's daughter did we? Can't wait for the
    follow up, a duet with dad Frank Butcher 'a la Natalie and Nat King Cole.
    Frank will of course have to be killed off in order to give it the same 
    effect and will be singing in one of those crooning pub voices complete
    with dodgy microphone. 
    
     

    
    Sorry, but Midnight Oil do nothing for me, although I concede that the
    lead singer probably has more talent in one hair on his head than
    Kylie/Jason/Etc/Etc have in their entire combined bodies.
    
    Mark

Well I happen to like Roxette, and I don't really consider that they
would be thought of as tosh even if you don't like them. 

K.

    
    
    
    	And there is Johnny Deisel and the Injectors.

    
    Each to their own, but I reckon they're tosh too! 
    
    Come on join the joyride...
    
    Some rubbish about a wonderfull baloon?
    
    Really!!!
    
    Mark

    Re's on Roxette...
    
    A shallow quote from one of 'm I read in a teen ragg...
    
    "The U.S. market wants us to be rich".
    
    So they are aware that their product is tosh.
    Hear hear .24 .25
    
    Jan.

Oh well, if they want to make money it MUST be tosh, eh?

The Jam were tosh too, I suppose?

    I'd say that was just a case of pop stars being a bit more honest 
    than usual and I cannot see an admission that their material is tosh.
    I'd certainly fob off the public with crap if I knew I'd
    make lots of money. Sure it's nice to see an performer who believes
    in his work and is'nt just driven by making money but I'd say most
    of the people who are in such a noble position will have started out
    thinking the same things as Roxette. What annoys me more are those
    sanctimonious types who would lead you to believe that money has never
    tainted them. Hello Jim Kerr and Co.
    
    Barry.

> The Jam were tosh too, I suppose?
    
    They must have thought they were OK. They bought all of their own
    records.
    
    
    Dave Hazel

I dunno whether Roxette are tosh.  I don't really like their stuff but then 
that's down to taste.  I suppose the girl can sing and the bloke can play 
geetar so that rates them above a good few bands.  Lyrics do leave alot to be 
desired but then if everyone were Leonard Cohen's life would be pretty boring 
eh?

Paul

P.S. Am I allowed to say Leonard Cohen?

    > They must have thought they were OK. They bought all of their own
      records.
    
    Rather than get them free I suppose. Must have been their socialist 
    stance? :^)
    
    
    Barry
    

    Guys,what about......
    
    
                             NOkidsontheblock
    
    Their concert at Ahoy Rotterdam was buried by the press hahahahaha
    It was terrible.
    
    Jan.

    If it's possible then NKOTB have gone far beyond the boundaries of
    Tosh into some other untitled and as yet unexplained plain of naff
    existence. Any budding Jason Kings or Arthur C Clarkes out there 
    who like to expand on this theory?
    
    Kirk.

    Never mind NKOTB, what about Vanilla Ice? Now he/that is tosh to the
    nth degree, cubed.
    
    
    Rod

    RE-1
    
    Yeah...the jerk(V Ice)had a gig in Rotterdam,it was bombed by the
    press.The public(most bobby-soxer's)pulled out between �10-15 to
    see that idiot.and what did he do for that? An hour of bad sounding
    (terrible P.A. system)and mis-timed rappin' in his music.Inbetween
    the tunes he spilled his gut's about the mistreat he got from the
    intertnational press.What a bummer. I should say,leave his material
    at the shop.
    
    Jan. 

    Roxette is real tosh though.
    
    Piers

    
    Add The Manic Street Preachers to this ever expanding list.
    

    No the Manic Street Preachers are 4 Real =;-)
    
    Tim
    ---

    Still here Tim?
    
    Mikef

    Yep still stuggling over writing up my project, I some how managed to
    delete most of it last week, luckily I'd printed it out but it meant an
    afternoon of typing it back in.
    
    Tim
    ---

    90's tosh - Whilst fast forwarding thru last nights ToTP, a group
    called 'right said fred' - Song 'I'm too sexy'.  I had to watch it all
    the way thru, I couldn't believe anything that bad was in the charts. 
    Sounds like something that was big in Europe, and recorded in english
    for over here.  Might have been funny if done by Kraftwerk.  Anyone
    else catch this?  I'm struggling for words to describe how bad it was.
    
    ALso saw Colour me Badd (is that correct), looks like they took my
    advice and got rid of the moustaches, but that 70s footballer
    perm...are those popular in the USA?  Song was awfull tho.
    
    Mikef

    
    I reckon that 'I'm too sexy' song is quite original. It reminds me of
    someone, but I can't remember who, although I agree it sounds more 
    European than British. Still, the group did look AWFUL, didn't they?
    
    But if Bryan Adams can dirge away at number 1 for the nth week running
    I don't mind a load of wierdos telling me how sexy they are! :^)
    
    Mark
    
    PS If footballer perms are good enough for Terry in Brookside (now
    manager of Liverpool) they're good enough for Color Mee
    Illeterate...:^)
    

    Good point...that Bryan Adams song really is awful, isn't it?  For
    women dancing around handbags to look misty eyed over in bad discos. 
    Or something.
    
    Mikef

    I think it's quite good actually. For falling over handbags bleary 
    eyed at bad discos. 
    
    Barry.

    It's good to see the Shamen at No4 though...
    
    
    matty

    A nomination goes to The Farm for "Don't You Want Me?" on TOTPs last 
    week. Dreadful version, Hooton's dancing matches his singing, and that 
    kick-ass axe solo at the end of the song was a definite no no. Useless.
     
    barry.  

    
    It is *very bad indeed*, isn't it ? I heard John Peel play it a few
    weeks ago, which he is almost obliged to do as a long-standing Farm
    labourer. He couldn't bring himself to say anything about it other than
    the name of the song.
    
    At my most charitable, I could observe that the girl in the Human
    League never sang in tune either, so maybe Hooton's just taking the
    piss ? I think that's probably reading a bit too much into it though...
    
    
    Trevor

    Agreed it's pretty terrible, especially live, but it's also quite amusing.
    And I've bought the cassette single!

    Goldy.

    I think Brian May is clinically dead. He has been wired up to a
    Eurovision Life Support machine which fits snuggly into his
    poodle like hair. This can be the only explanation for the
    mind numbing pap he has forced on the world in the shape of
    his last two singles. Absoloute winker. 
    
    barry.  

RE .-1  Well said that man.

    	I don't listen much to the charts any more, but I did catch 
    	the Top 20 run down last night.  Though I haven't heard
    	Brian May's latest, I can't imagine it can be anywhere near
    	as bad as Rod Stuart singing Waltzing Matilda.
    
    	Ian.

    RE: last - almost as good as Paul Hogan's version of Bonnie Scotland ..
        .. only kidding .. I hope ..

    re .60
    
>>>    	as bad as Rod Stuart singing Waltzing Matilda.
    
    Mr Wegg !!!
    
    It's STEWART....
    
    (just getting my own back for you slagging me off for misspelling
    Robert Palmer)  :-)
    
    Mr Watterson

    	As the man who bought orthopaedic shoes said, I stand corrected.
    
    	It's not as bad as Stewart Stuart singing Waltzing Matilda.
    
    	Ian.

On a similiar vein...  "We are Raving"  by some collection of individuals who are
now flogging a horse that is beyond dead.

Please, ban all these bands who do NOTHING but make crap rehashes of old
singles.
	
	K.W.S.
	Undercover.
	Jason Donovan.
	Michael Bolton.


Feel free to add to the list. 

REMEMBER - AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE, THESE PEOPLE WILL BE THE CAUSE OF MUCH
EMBARESSMENT TO THE BRITISH RECORD-BUYING PUBLIC OF THE 90'S.


Yours in dismay,

Kyle E.

Come on now, if we banned all crap rehashes, there'd by no more top 30.

Whilst perusing the crap rehash dept., the Nick Cave/Shane McGowan conspiracy
have now released their rendition of `What a Wonderful World'.

The most beautiful contender for Christmas #1 ever, or drunken karaoke rubbish?
You, the readers decide...

Lee

>the Nick Cave/Shane McGowan conspiracy
>have now released their rendition of `What a Wonderful World'.

>The most beautiful contender for Christmas #1 ever, or drunken karaoke rubbish?
>You, the readers decide...

    Both, perhaps?
    
    I, personally, would prefer to see The Fall's Legend of Xanadu up there
    at the top of the charts, but I admit that it's unlikely...
    
    Piers

    
    And I don't appreciate Michael Bolton going on the crap pile either !
    
    He doesn't just do rehashes.  He happens to write some excellent music
    sung not only be himself, but by others such as Barbara Striesand,
    Kiss, and Cher to name a couple of them,
    
    Give the guy a break.  At least his songs are meaningful, and not a
    load of silly dance music that is the same for every record and where
    the words don't make an ounce of sense.
    
    Julie.
    

    
    But his hair is silly!

Hasn't Mr. Bolton released an album of "Classics" ? i.e. Re-hashes of old love-
songs by other people ?

Mark

    
    Re Tony
    
    I like men with long hair !
    
    Re Andy
    
    Yes, he has just released an album full of classics.  He has also
    released 5 other albums of his own material which are :
    
    Time, Love and Tenderness - 1991
    Soul Provider - 1989
    The Hunger - 1987 ( I think )
    Everybody's crazy  - couple of years earlier
    Michael Bolton - couple of years earlier again
    
    I thank you,
    
    Julie
    

Hoi Julie (or is it Jane, Mandy, Sheila ?),


>>Re Andy
    
    Yes, he has just released an album full of classics.  He has also
    released 5 other albums of his own material which are :.....



Who's Andy ?


Good for MB. I didn't realise that he had so many of his *own* songs. I still
can't forgive him for doing a "KWS" though.  


---> M.A.R.K.<---

    
    Sorry --> Mark <-- lovie !  Mental block, you know.  It happens sometimes.
    You shouldn't have stressed me out over Michael ! ;-)
    
    And what is a "KWS" ?  Or am I having another mental block.
    
    Hugs,
    
    Julie
    

Users Guide to Discovering KWS


1)  Switch on your radio.

2)  Listen for a vaguely familiar song (e.g. "Please don't Go" by KC and the 
    Sunshine Band) with a horrible dance-beat and naff techno-keyboard sounds
    dotted throughout.

3)  If it makes you feel physically ill, it's probably by KWS or even worse,
    Undercover.


As an aside, even though I detest Michael Bolton, it is a crime (for which I 
should be beaten thoroughly) to group him alongside the above. Sorry MB fans.


Mark

    
    Re Mark
    
    I accept your humblest apologies.  
    Do you like being beaten thoroughly then ?  ;-)
    
    Julie
    

    I have been meaning to put this in here for a couple of weeks now, but
    up until today the mere thought of it, sound of it on my radio (where
    it gets played every 10 minutes) etc. has made me feel too ill.
    
    If you want to hear
    
    a) Really naff cliched lyrics, sung by a singer who occasionally
       forgets to sound her "r" like Prince (not quite as off as J. Woss,
       but you know what I mean)
    
    b) Horrible ham-fisted piano playing
    
    c) The worst guitar sound/solo ever commited to record
    
    d) Totally unpleasant high pitched harmonies
    
    e) an even more unpleasant "kitchen-sink" production job
    
    then I suggest a cursory listen to Hello (Turn Your Radio On) by
    Shakespears S*dding Sister will be enough to convince you that this is
    indeed tosh of the highest order.
    
    Bob

    Nooo!!
    
    They're my fav band to emerge this year!

    
    Is it just me or does Naffin' Snow with his naffin' Informer really get
    on your mammaries aswell?

    It used to irritate, until I learnt that he is white, now it really annoys.
    
    

    What is he saying in the chorus exactly - surely the song isn't
    about licking some lucky person's buttocks?
    
    julia

    I've seen a video for this which had subtitles... can't remember the
    details, wish I'd never seen or heard it
    
    ttfn
    john