Conference 7.286::sports_90

    
    Needle-ess to say, CONGRATS!
    
    Dickster
    

    She's a Cubs fan.  Honest, she told me.
    
    Mark.

    Congrats. 

    
    You mean she backed out of the wedding?
    
    Well then, "CONGRATS" to her instead.
    
    Dickster
    

    Congrats to 'Saw for having the good sense to start this note.
    
    Congrats to Jeff for getting married, but as all us married guys
    know - YOU'LL BE SAW-RRREEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Congrats to everyone who has sent Jeff congrats.
    
    Congrats to everyone who will send Jeff congrats.
    
    But condolences to the poor wench stuck with him for the rest of her
    life (or 'til she comes to her senses).
    
    NAZZ

    
    
    	So Jeff, when is little Jeff Jr. scheduled to arrive???? :-)
    
    CONGRATS!!!!
    
    JimH
    

<<< Note 292.8 by TURKEY::J_HALPIN "Sampson, Wennington, Leckner & Kite ????" >>>
>>>              -< Will there be any shot-guns at the ceremony??? >-
>>>    
>>>    	So Jeff, when is little Jeff Jr. scheduled to arrive???? :-)
    
>>>    CONGRATS!!!!
    
>>>    JimH

       The answer is yes, Jeff is about 6 months along in his pregnancy. :-)

Chuck

Better watch out, Chuck, or I'll announce here that you and Shelly are getting
married the same day.

j.

    Does Shelly like to play volleyball topless, too, Chuckie?  :-)
    
    H�wk

Hawk, don't try it in Hoboken, however....

    When in Cleveland...
    
    
    Lose!!!

    I leave Parker Street for a few months and look what happens...
    First, JoJo [Wardle] then Jeff the last Great Hope, well
    the best to you Jeff.
    
    Regards,
    
    Edwin

 But will she turn him into a junk noter? ;^) Congrats Jeff.....

 as the saying goes misery loves company....

 mike

    HAHA HA Needle.  Getting married, what a sucker!  Ha Ha,  I'd *never*
    let that happen to me  ;-)
    
    JD

    Never, ever say NEVER!!!!!!!!

    There's always at least 1 in the crowd.......

Nah, JD's hung, strung, signed, sealed and almost delivered.

That ol noose is comin' closer and closer....

You guys can back out you know (you too Chuck) there's still time.

We've got a place for you to recover at the /Don Come Back to Your
Senses Farm, complete with burly male orderlies (some even have
warts) lots of beer and bourbon, and the celebrated /Don Synchronized
Swimming Video (aka Tickled Filberts)....

Just call 1-800-NO-NOOSE!

'Saw,

      What am I going to do with burly male orderlies, how can I recover
      from this condition if I don't have anything to chase. Hire some 
      18 year old girls, with the Taylor Dane look, and I will be the 1st
      to sign up for treatment. :-)

 Chuck

Chuck --

That's the second stage of treatment.  First, we make you forget
what you almost did -- kinda SHOCK therapy.

Then, after a week, well...Taylor Dayne will be lookin' like the
Wicked Witch of the West compared to some of the Stage II "orderlies"


heh, heh, heh,
'Saw

'Saw

     Now I see. In that case let me tell you that my condition is real
     bad, the worst, you might as well sign me up for Stage I thru Stage
     Stage VI treatment.

     Will it help the lady orderlies do there job if I get a tan before 
     I go in for treatment?. Should I tan up?

Chuck

Yes, definitely tan up.  But, no all-over tan.  

You see, sometimes in the night, when they come into your room for
"treatment", they don't want to turn on the light to wake you up,
so they'll kind of find their way by finding that non-tanned area
and proceeding from there.

And oh, they just hired  new orderly that you'd really like.
Her names Melodee Sage.  I know you don't know her, but Dan, JoJ,
Dinz, Mike and Bucky could all vouch for her, um...medical abilities...

So, we'll sign you up for all the stages, and we'll start treatment
immediately following Giantsmania...

'Saw

    i definitely sing the prasises of  melody  [tm]
    

    Jeff,
    
    Regarding your offer in the Charlotte Hornets note to keep me supplied
    with hard copy while I'm on vacation.  I know when and where your
    wedding is.  How much is my silence in this forum worth to you?
    
    And how dare you call me an old fart?
    
    John

>>    And how dare you call me an old fart?

Sorry, John.  That wasn't a very valuing-differences thing to say.  I meant to
just call you a fart.

j.

John, I can get you a supply of practice beach balls for free....

Is that worth some of that info?

Chainsaw

Just got the word that there is going to be an impromptu bachelor party for me
at the Dockside tomorrow night around the same time as the Red Sox game.  We've
apparently got the table nearest the large TV reserved so if any of you are in
the Faneuil Hall area, feel free to stop by and buy me a beer and watch the
game with my friends and myself.

j.

Jeff,

What time is the game?

I'll be just south of Boston for our big match with Boston RFC, and
I might stop up afterwards, perhaps with some friends....

'Saw

Sorry I couldn't make it Jeff.  Boston threw us a helluva drinkup, and
after the effort we put in, it was well worth it to stay....

Congrats though....

'Saw

    Always bear in mind that the most difficult years of marriage are
    those that follow the wedding. 
    
    BoB

    I thought the difficulty started after the last lay-away payment on
    that diamond engagement ring.........
    
    Hawk

On the other hand, I could say that you now have someone to forever
share your hopes and dreams, your fantasies, and your life.
You have someone to lean on, and someone to comfort you in times of
stress and tribulation.

You have someone to cheer for you when you play softball, and you have
someone that thinks you're her hero.

You have someone to enrich and enhance your life, and to make you 
feel more than you ever thought you could....



I could say all of that, but I'd probably be resoundingly booed out
of here.  So I won't ;^)

'Saw

�          -< Saw, you've seen too many movies. read too many books  >-

Nah, I was just practicing responsible noting.  It was important to
put in the other side of the debate, and while it was a dirty job,
someone had to do it, so I, Chainsaw, bit the bullet, and added in
that entry....

(And will somebody please stop playing the Theme from Love Story
in the background!!!!)

'Saw
    

    
    "Love means never having to say you're sorry...
    
            ....after breaking wind in bed."
    
    Dickster
    

A minor addendum:
    
    "Love means never having to say you're sorry...
    
            ....after breaking wind in bed, and holding her head
	    under the covers
    
Chainsaw    

    re.45
    
    The old "Dutch Oven" trick, Eh 'Saw???
    
    
    JaKe
    

>    re.45
>    
>    The old "Dutch Oven" trick, Eh 'Saw???
              ^^^^^
    
In keeping with new policy in this country, the above remark might
be perceived as a derogatory ethnic remark.  The correct term
should be 

	The old "Non-ethnic descriptive phrase Oven" trick.....


HTH,
'Saw    

  'Saw,

You may not be keeping up with the policy as waill as you think.

What kinda store did you say your Dad works in yesterday?  ;^{)

HTH,

rick

�What kinda store did you say your Dad works in yesterday?  ;^{)

He works in a liquor store.

In Connecticut for some reason they've always been called Package
Stores.  I don't know why this is, nor has any other living person
been able to give me a reason why they're called Package Stores.

Long about high school time, when kids start getting into drinking
and having older brothers etc. buy for them, you start saying
you need to make a "packy run".  

Or, because they have this heinous little law about closing at
8pm, on Saturday evenings before that long dry Sunday, you say
you have to hit the "packy"....

Just a Connecticut expression.  I might be wrong, but I don't
believe any other state in the Union calls liquor stores 'Package Stores'...

why?


'Saw

    
    No, they say that up here in New Hampshire, too.  I think it's just
    another one of those New England expressions that no one else in the
    world can understand and yet we can't get rid of (i.e. has had no 
    meaning after, say, 1850). 
    
    glenn
    

    'Saw, they're known as Package Stores here in Mass.  I know cause when
    I moved up here, the first thing I looked for was a liquor store.  Damn
    near died of having too many operative brain cells before realizing
    that these package stores were where you bought your damn beer!  You
    can't imagine how many supermarkets I stopped in to look for a 6-pack
    and a bottle of Tango!  Heck, I didn't need any packages, I just wanted
    some liquor!  Made sense to me.......
    
    Hawk

    there are at least three liquor stores on my way home, with at least
    3-5 more real close (within 5 miles). I guess manly Colorado people
    need quick access to booze. 

   Years ago when I was in NC, they had state run Packaged Liquor (as
   opposed to drink on the spot taverns) stores. They called them ABC
   stores (???), and Package Stores. I've been in several other places
   where they were called Packaged Liquor Stores, and invariably the
   locals either shortened it to Package Stores, or Liquor Stores. Nobody
   ever said the whole thing.

   Mike JN

    ABC= Alcohol Beverage Centers.... have them in Virginia too...

Gee, I feel like I've learned something today.

Guess all that Jack Daniels I had last night didn't do away with my
few remaining workable brain cells.....

Reality, what a concept!

'Saw

>>     <<< Note 292.47 by CAM::WAY "Beaten like a redheaded stepchild..." >>>

>> >    re.45
>> >    
>> >    The old "Dutch Oven" trick, Eh 'Saw???
              ^^^^^
    
>>In keeping with new policy in this country, the above remark might
>>be perceived as a derogatory ethnic remark.  The correct term
>>should be 

>>	The old "Non-ethnic descriptive phrase Oven" trick.....


>>HTH,
>>'Saw    


    I ain't changing, 'Saw.  Somehow the phrase loses too much in the
    translation.  I'm going to continue to call it a "dutch oven" until
    the kid with his finger in the dyke can persuade me otherwise!!
    
    militantly yours,
    
    JaKe
    
    p.s.have a peachy day
    

>>   Years ago when I was in NC, they had state run Packaged Liquor (as
>>   opposed to drink on the spot taverns) stores. They called them ABC
>>   stores (???), and Package Stores. I've been in several other places
  
Hey Mike JN,

Are them ABC stores the ones with no writing on 'em, just two big dots on
the outside of the store - one red and one blue??

I got a real kick out of the fack that they weren't allowed to post signs
with "Liquor" or "Booze" on them.

rick ellis