Conference 7.286::sports_90

    Bo?
    
    Mark.

    
    
    	Can anyone explain the exact terms of Proposition 48 and how
    it applies to recruiting(sp?) college athletes.
    
    
    Thanks,
    	
    	Aly

    Not exact, but close:
    	A high school senior must have a CUMULATIVE 2.0 GPA.
    Also, must get 700 on the SAT or 15 on the ACT(Ithink).
    I believe there is an attendance requirement, maybe 80%.
    So, as you can see, its not to hard to be eligible as a freshman
    unless you totally blew off high school. HTH.
                 	    Raider_Rich 
    
    

    I've got a case of Iron City bet with a co-worker/forklift operator ...
    
    What NFL team leads the decade in total yardage penalties ... I say
    it's the faiders ... he says its the DONKS ...
    
    -- JB

    ooh, i'd have to say the maids or the spoilers.  definitely not
    the roncho's.

    
    The Donks hahahahaaa  JB you're making a funny right? Now if the
    bet was on who has received the most free yardage due the other team's
    errors, then it would clearly be the DONKEYS........
    
    many smiles
    
    mike

    Does anybody know what the NFL record is for sacks in a game. I seem to
    recall a Monday night game when Cedric Hardman of the 49'rs had something
    like 12 or so, but I am told that is way too much. Could some one who
    has a stat book settle this for me.
    
                                                    Thanks in advance
                                                    Stan

    
    There once was a man from St. Ives with seven wives and each of
    them had seven sacks.
    
    Can't remember what year, though.
    
    Hope this helps.
    
    -Dick

    re -1
    
    Dick thanks. That clears everything up...  I think  :-)
    
                                         Stan

    Had to be against the Phily Beagles !!
    
    Big Game

    
    I had sacks twelve times one night.
                                 
                                
    sacks of potatos.  I worked at a grocery store and carried twelve
    sacks out to a ladies car one night.  what did you guys think I
    meant?

    JB, based on the history of this notefile, the Raiders must be the
    most penalized.  Point 1), Hoot says they are picked on, Point 2)
    everyone else says they are a dirty team.  Sooo, it must be them.

    It couldn't be the Donks, because, as ALL true NFL fans know, the
    ref only call about 10% of the Donk infractions at home, and 10.03%
    on the road.  :*)
    
    Lee

    Tommy Henrich, former NY Yankee great, is the one who came up with
    the quote.
    
    I'll be able to post the penalty yards once the NFL mails me the
    season ending stats.  I'll be able to look up the sack record tonight.
    Sacks have only been an official stat since either the late seventies
    or early eighties.
    
    A student who does not qualify under Prop 48 may attend a junior
    college for one or two years.  If s/he goes to the college s/he
    wants to go to, s/he cannot practice with the team during that year,
    s/he cannot receive a scholarship during that year, s/he loses a
    year of eligibility and s/he must qualify academically after the
    freshman year in order to play.  Exhibit - Rumeal Robinson.
    
    John

    Individual sacks have only been kept since 1982, and these records are
    through 1988:
    
    Most in career	Lawrence Taylor 89
    			Dexter Manley	82
    			Jacob Green	76
         
    Most in Season	Gastineau, 1984	22
    			R. White,  1987	21
    			Taylor,    1986	20.5
    
    Most in Game	Fred Dean, SF, 11/13/85 vs NO	6
    			Wm Gay, Det, 9/4/83 vs TB	5.5
    			5 by 5 people:
    
    			Howie Long, Rai vs Wash, 10/2/83
    			Randy Holloway, Min vs Atl, 9/16/84
    			Jim Jeffcoat, Dal vs Wash, 11/10/85
    			Leslie ONeal, SD vs Dal, 11/16/86
    			Gary Jeter, Rams vs Raiders, 9/18/88
    
    Team Records:
    
    Most in Season:	Philly 1986, 104
    			Philly 1987,  72
    			Atlanta, 1968, 70
    
    Fewest in Season:	Miami, 1988	7
    			SF, 1970	8
    			St Louis, 1975	8
    			Jets, 1966	9
    
    Most in game:	Pitt vs Dallas, 11/20/66	12
    			Balt vs St Louis, 10/26/80	12
    			Det vs Chicago, 12/16/84	12
    			Hou vs Dallas, 9/29/85		12
    
    11 sacks in a game has happened many times.
    
    And some penalty records:
    
    Miami has had 11 seasons where they've had the fewest penalties
    and had 9 of those consecutively.  The Bears have had 16 seasons
    where they've led the league.  Detroit holds the record for fewest
    penalties in a season, 19 in 1937.  The 1983 Bills had 144 penalties,
    1984 Raiders had 143 and the 1988 Cowboys had 141.  The Brooklyn
    Dodgers in 1944 (yes, they did exist), the Bears in 1944 hold the
    record for most penalties in a game with 22.  0 penalties on both
    teams has only happened 4 times and not since 1940.  Cleveland vs
    Chicago, 11/25/51, had the most combined fouls in a game, 37, for
    374 yards, also a record.  Cleveland was socked for 21 flags and
    209 yards in that game.  The record for most yards in a season belongs
    to the 1969 Raiders with 1274, and fewest goes to the 1937 Lions,
    139 yards.
    
    John

    John
    
        Thanks for the stats.
    
                                     Stan

    After watching Monday night's game, you have to wonder about this sack
    business.  Doleman "sacks" Boomer while he's in the motion of throwing. 
    That was quite a joke.  So this "in the grasp" rule has tainted the
    sack totals since the rule has been implemented.
    
    					Steve

    	Yeah. Pretty soon we'll see a rule where the play is dead
    	when a defender is withing x yards of the quarterback.
    
    	Give me a break. That call was bogus.
    
    	Scott

    And to add further doubts to the "sack" totals, recall that a defensive
    team receives credit for a sack if it merely chases the quarterback out
    of bounds for a loss.
    
    Granted it's a loss of yardage but there have been numerous occasions
    where Randall Cunningham has escaped *big* sack losses and instead has
    been chased out of bounds within inches of the original line of
    scrimmage.  Nevertheless, the defender nearest him gets a sack.
    
    Also, earlier this year against the Vikings, Randall Cunningham was
    killing the last few seconds off the clock in the Eagles 10-9 win.  He
    took the snap, backpedaled a few yards to burn a few more seconds and
    then took a soft hit from a lineman.  The Vikes got two sacks that way
    although the league office did rescind them later that week.
    
    Bob Hunt

    And not only that, but if the QB is back to pass and is getting
    pressured and gets back to the original line of scrimmage, it's
    a sack for 0 yards.
    
    There is also something called a team sack.  In the Patriots game
    vs Pittsburgh a couple of weeks ago, Roland James was pressuring
    Bubby Brister and ran Bubby into referee Tom Dooley.  Bubby fumbled
    and James recovered.  That's a sack but it's not credited to anyone
    even though Roland recovered.  Last year in the game against us,
    Dave Krieg dropped the ball while scrambling without being touched.
    It was also ruled a team sack.
    
    If the QB is back in shotgun formation and bobbles the snap and
    never has possession however, that's not a sack.  It's called an
    aborted play.  Any play where a snap is fumbled, a handoff is botched
    or a lateral is missed that loses yardage is called an aborted play.
    The QB gets a rush for no yards, in most cases the QB gets a fumble
    (the exception is when the center snaps the ball over the QBs head),
    and any yardage lost is credited to fumble yardage.
    
    John

    Someone asked in an earlier note about NFL team penalties:
    
    By Penalties			By Yards
    
    Houston	148			Houston		1138
    Raiders	132			Raiders		1105
    Cleveland	128			Pittsburgh	 986
    San Diego	122			Detroit		 977
    Detroit	121			Minnesota	 974
    Minnesota	119			Cleveland	 973
    Pittsburgh	116			Jets		 957
    Jets	116			Eagles		 938
    Chiefs	115			Niners		 922
    Eagles	114			San Diego	 906
    Phoenix	113			Redskins	 881
    Niners	110			Bucs		 881
    Redskins	105			Chiefs		 863
    Bucs	104			Phoenix		 856
    Buffalo	103			Chicago		 846
    League Ave	102.9			Buffalo		 831
    Rams	102			League Ave	 825.3
    Dallas	 99			Rams		 823
    Chicago	 95			Dallas		 766
    Saints	 90			Seattle		 738
    Colts	 89			Colts		 704
    Bengals	 85			Saints		 676
    Denver	 83			Giants		 675
    Miami	 83			Atlanta		 671
    Giants	 83			Green Bay	 666
    Atlanta	 82			Bengals		 637
    Green Bay	 81			Miami		 614
    Seattle	 79			Denver		 594
    Patriots	 63			Patriots	 509
    
    John

       Pats are #1!!!
                                     denny

    Someone asked elsewhere about the series between Buffalo and Cleveland.
    The Browns lead it 7-2 and the teams have never met in the playoffs:
    
    1972	at Cleveland 27		Buffalo 10
    1974	Buffalo 15		at Cleveland 10
    1977	Cleveland 27		at Buffalo 16
    1978	at Cleveland 41		Buffalo 20
    1981	at Buffalo 22		Cleveland 13
    1984	Cleveland 13		at Buffalo 10
    1985	at Cleveland 17		Buffalo 7
    1986	Cleveland 21		at Buffalo 17
    1987	at Cleveland 27		Buffalo 21
    
    Points:  Cleveland 196, Buffalo 138
    
    John

    Would someone point me to a conference, magazine or newsletter that
    would have the complete NBA schedule and/or the scores this year
    so far.
    
    Thanks,
    
    Jimbo

1989-90 NBA SCHEDULE, DAY-BY-DAY

FRIDAY, NOV. 3
Milwaukee at Boston
Washington at Charlotte
New Jersey at Miami
Indiana at Atlanta
New York at Detroit
Cleveland at Chicago
L.A. Lakers at Dallas
Denver at Utah
Golden State at Phoenix
Houston at L.A. Clippers
Sacramento at Portland
Minnesota at Seattle

SATURDAY, NOV. 4
Miami at New York
Milwaukee at Philadelphia
Detroit at Washington
New Jersey at Orlando
Cleveland at Indiana
Boston at Chicago
L.A. Lakers at San Antonio
Phoenix at Denver
Houston at Golden State
Seattle at Sacramento

SUNDAY, NOV. 5
Minnesota at Portland

MONDAY, NOV. 6
New York at Orlando

TUESDAY, NOV. 7
Miami at New Jersey
Washington at Atlanta
Detroit at Chicago
Boston at Milwaukee
Portland at Houston
Phoenix at L.A. Lakers
L.A. Clippers at Golden State
Dallas at Sacramento
Charlotte at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 8
Miamia at Philadelphia
Boston at Washington
Orlando at Cleveland
Detroit at Indiana
Chicago at Minnesota
Portland at San Antonio
Sacramento at Denver
Charlotte at Utah
Dallas at L.A. Clippers

THURSDAY, NOV. 9
New Jersey at New York
Seattle at Milwaukee
Denver at Houston
L.A. Lakers at Golden State

FRIDAY, NOV. 10
Atlanta at Boston
Chicago at New Jersey
Cleveland vs. Washington at Baltimore
Detroit at Orlando
Miamia at Indiana
Philadelphia at Minnesota
Portland at Dallas
San Antonio at Utah
Sacramento at Phoenix
Charlotte at L.A. Lakers

SATURDAY, NOV. 11
Detroit at Miami
Orlando at Atlanta
Boston at Cleveland
Seattle at Chicago
Philadelphia at Milwaukee
Utah at Houston
Denver at San Antonio
New York at L.A. Clippers
Charlotte at Golden State

SUNDAY, NOV. 12
Seattle at Minnesota
Dallas at L.A. Lakers
Washington at Portland

MONDAY, NOV. 13
Atlanta at Orlando
Washington at Utah

TUESDAY, NOV. 14
Philadelphia vs. Boston at Hartford
Cleveland at New Jersey
Orlando at Charlotte
Houston at Miami
San Antonio at Milwaukee
Golden State at Minnesota
Denver at L.A. Clippers
Chicago at Sacramento
New York at Portland
Dallas at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 15
New Jersey at Boston
Charlotte at Philadelphia
Golden State at Cleveland
Miami at Detroit
San Antonio at Minnesota
Washington at Denver
Chicago at Utah
Portland at Phoenix
Indiana at L.A. Lakers

THURSDAY, NOV. 16
Orlando at Milwaukee
L.A. Clippers at Houston
New York at Sacramento
Washington at Seattle

FRIDAY, NOV. 17
Minnesota at Boston
San Antonio at Philadelphia
Golden State at Charlotte
Atlanta at Cleveland
Milwaukee at Detroit
L.A. Clippers at Dallas
Indiana at Utah
Denver at L.A. Lakers
Phoenix at Portland

SATURDAY, NOV. 18
Minnesota at New York
San Antonio at New Jersey
Philadelphia at Orlando
Golden State at Atlanta
Boston at Detroit
Miami at Dallas
Houston at Denver
Washington at Phoenix
Indiana at Sacramento
Chicago at Seattle

SUNDAY, NOV. 19
Miami at Houston
Washington at L.A. Lakers
Seattle at Portland

MONDAY, NOV. 20
No games scheduled

TUESDAY, NOV. 21
Houston at New York
Milwaukee at Washington
Miami at Charlotte
Atlanta at Detroit
Boston at Indiana
Utah at Minnesota
Phoenix at San Antonio
Dallas at Denver
Orlando at Sacramento
Chicago at Portland
New Jersey at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 22
Houston at Boston
Philadelphia at Miamia
New York at Cleveland
Atlanta at Milwaukee
Denver at Minnesota
Orlando at Utah
Chicago at Phoenix
New Jersey at L.A. Clippers
Sacramento at Golden State

THURSDAY, NOV. 23
No games scheduled

FRIDAY, NOV. 24
Indiana at Boston
Washington at Philadelphia
Houston at Charlotte
Atlanta at Miami
Cleveland at Detroit
Minnesota at Dallas
Seattle at Denver
Orlando at Phoenix
San Antonio at L.A. Clippers
New Jersey at Portland

SATURDAY, NOV. 25
Milwaukee at New York
Miami at Washington
Minnesota at Charlotte
Boston at Atlanta
Houston at Cleveland
Philadelphia at Indiana
Seattle at Dallas
L.A. Lakers at Utah
Chicago at Golden State
New Jersey at Sacramento

SUNDAY, NOV. 26
San Antonio at L.A. Lakers
Chicago at L.A. Clippers
Detroit at Portland

MONDAY, NOV. 27
Charlotte at New York
Indiana at Milwaukee
New Jersey at Utah

TUESDAY, NOV. 28
Miami at Orlando
Washington at Cleveland
Atlanta at Chicago
L.A. Lakers at Houston
Seattle at San Antonio
Golden State at Denver
Detroit at Sacramento
L.A. Clippers at Portland

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 29
Boston at New Jersey
Cleveland at Philadelphia
Atlanta at Washington
Minnesota at Miami
Utah at Indiana
Charlotte at Dallas
Detroit at Phoenix
Milwaukee at L.A. Clippers
New York at Golden State

THURSDAY, NOV. 30
Minnesota at Orlando
Charlotte at Houston
Dallas at San Antonio
Milwaukee at Denver
L.A. Lakers at Sacramento
New York at Seattle

FRIDAY, DEC. 1
Cleveland at Boston
Miami at New Jersey
Philadelphia vs. Washington at Baltimore
Utah at Atlanta
Orlando at Indiana
L.A. Clippers at Phoenix
Detroit at L.A. Lakers
Golden State at Portland

SATURDAY, DEC. 2
Utah at Washington
Chicago at Miami
Philadelphia at Atlanta
Minnesota at Cleveland
Dallas at Houston
Charlotte at San Antonio
Portland at Denver
New York at Phoenix
Sacramento at L.A. Clippers
Milwaukee at Golden State
Detroit at Seattle

SUNDAY, DEC. 3
New York at L.A. Lakers

MONDAY, DEC. 4
Portland at Orlando

TUESDAY, DEC. 5
Philadelphia at New York
Boston at Charlotte
Portland at Miami
Utah at Cleveland
Denver at Chicago
New Jersey at Minnesota
Golden State at Dallas
L.A. Clippers at L.A. Lakers
Milwaukee at Sacramento
Houston at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 6
New York at Boston
Miami at Philadelphia
Atlanta at Orlando
Washington at Detroit
Denver at Indiana
Golden State at San Antonio

THURSDAY, DEC. 7
Portland at Charlotte
Dallas at Utah
Phoenix at L.A. Lakers
Cleveland at L.A. Clippers
FRIDAY, DEC. 8
Denver at Boston
Detroit at Philadelphia
Orlando at Miami
Portland at Atlanta
 Chicago at Indiana
New Jersey at Houston
San Antonio at Dallas
Milwaukee at Phoenix
Sacramento at Golden State

SATURDAY, DEC. 9
Boston at New York
L.A. Lakers at Washington
Denver at Charlotte
Minnesota at Atlanta
Indiana at Detroit
Philadelphia at Chicago
New Jersey at San Antonio
Houston at Utah
Cleveland at Sacramento
L.A. Clippers at Seattle

SUNDAY, DEC. 10
L.A. Lakers at Orlando
Portland at Milwaukee

MONDAY, DEC. 11
Cleveland at Utah

TUESDAY, DEC. 12
Philadelphia at New Jersey
L.A. Lakers at Charlotte
San Antonio at Atlanta
Minnesota at Indiana
Dallas at Chicago
Orlando at Milwaukee
Phoenix at Houston
Detroit at Denver
Golden State at Sacramento
L.A. Clippers at Portland

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 13
Seattle at Boston
Atlanta at Philadelphia
L.A. Lakers at Miami
Milwaukee at Cleveland
Dallas at Minnesota
Phoenix at Utah
Detroit at L.A. Clippers
Denver at Golden State

THURSDAY, DEC. 14
Indiana at New Jersey
Charlotte at Washington
Orlando at Chicago
Houston at San Antonio

FRIDAY, DEC. 15
L.A. Lakers at Boston
Dallas at Philadelphia
New York at Atlanta
Seattle at Cleveland
Milwaukee at Indiana
Miami at Minnesota
Sacramento at Denver
Detroit at Utah
Houston at Phoenix
Golden State at Portland

SATURDAY, DEC. 16
Seattle at New York
L.A. Lakers at New Jersey
Dallas at Washington
Charlotte at Chicago
Miami at Milwaukee
Orlando at San Antonio
Denver at L.A. Clippers
Detroit at Golden State

SUNDAY, DEC. 17
Utah at Minnesota
Orlando at Houston
Phoenix at Sacramento
Indiana at Portland

MONDAY, DEC. 18
No games scheduled

TUESDAY, DEC. 19
Utah at New York
Minnesota at Washington
Dallas at Charlotte
New Jersey at Miami
Sacramento at Atlanta
Seattle at Detroit
L.A. Lakers at Chicago
Boston at Milwaukee
Indiana at L.A. Clippers
Houston at Portland

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 20
Utah at Boston
Dallas at New Jersey
Washington at Philadelphia
Chicago at Orlando
Denver at Cleveland
L.A. Lakers at Minnesota
Sacramento at San Antonio
Indiana at Phoenix
Houston at Golden State

THURSDAY, DEC. 21
Atlanta at Miami
Portland at Seattle

FRIDAY, DEC. 22
Philadelphia at Boston
Detroit at New Jersey
New York at Washington
Utah at Charlotte
Denver at Orlando
Chicago at Atlanta
Cleveland at Milwaukee
Sacramento at Houston
L.A. Clippers at Dallas
San Antonio at Phoenix
Indiana at Golden State

SATURDAY, DEC. 23
New Jersey at New York
Chicago at Philadelphia
Denver at Miami
Orlando at Detroit
Milwaukee at Minnesota
Sacramento at Dallas
Utah at San Antonio
L.A. Clippers at Phoenix
Indiana at Seattle

SUNDAY, DEC. 24
No games scheduled

MONDAY, DEC. 25
Cleveland at Atlanta

TUESDAY, DEC. 26
Washington at New Jersey
San Antonio at Charlotte
New York at Miami
Orlando at Indiana
Minnesota at Chicago
Houston at Milwaukee
Philadelphia at Denver
Golden State at Utah
Portland at Phoenix
Sacramento at L.A. Lakers
Boston at L.A. Clippers

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 27
San Antonio at Washington
Indiana at Orlando
Detroit at Cleveland
Houston at Minnesota
Atlanta at Dallas
Boston at Sacramento
Philadelphia at Seattle

THURSDAY, DEC. 28
New York at New Jersey
Cleveland at Charlotte
Miami at Denver
Portland at Utah
Golden State at L.A. Clippers

FRIDAY, DEC. 29
Milwaukee at Detroit
Houston at Indiana
San Antonio at Chicago
Phoenix at Minnesota
Portland at Dallas
Golden State at L.A. Lakers
Philadelphia at Sacramento
Boston at Seattle

SATURDAY, DEC. 30
Orlando at New York
Chicago at Washington
Houston at Charlotte
Phoenix at Cleveland
New Jersey at Detroit
Atlanta at Indiana
Minnesota at Milwaukee
Denver at Dallas
Miami at Utah
Philadelphia at L.A. Clippers

SUNDAY, DEC. 31
No games scheduled

MONDAY, JAN. 1
No games scheduled

TUESDAY, JAN. 2
Phoenix at New York
New Jersey at Washington
Detroit at Orlando
Milwaukee at Atlanta
L.A. Clippers at Minnesota
Indiana at Dallas
Utah at Golden State
Miami at Portland

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 3
Washington at Boston
Milwaukee at New Jersey
Chicago at Cleveland
L.A. Clippers at Detroit
Indiana at Houston
Philadelphia at San Antonio
Denver at L.A. Lakers
Utah at Seattle

THURSDAY, JAN. 4
Atlanta at New York
Charlotte at Minnesota
Dallas at Phoenix
Miami at Golden State
Denver at Sacramento

FRIDAY, JAN. 5
L.A. Clippers at Boston
Washington at Cleveland
Indiana at Detroit
Orlando at Chicago
Philadelphia at San Antonio
Utah at Portland
Miami at Seattle

SATURDAY, JAN. 6
Boston at Washington
Indiana at Charlotte
Cleveland at Orlando
New Jersey at Atlanta
New York at Detroit
Chicago at Milwaukee
Philadelphia at Houston
Minnesota at San Antonio
Utah at Denver
L.A. Lakers at Golden State
Portland at Sacramento
Phoenix at Seattle

SUNDAY, JAN. 7
L.A. Clippers at New York
Atlanta at New Jersey
Miami at L.A. Lakers

MONDAY, JAN. 8
Indiana at Philadelphia
San Antonio at Orlando
Charlotte at Milwaukee
Seattle at Dallas
Denver at Golden State
Sacramento at Portland

TUESDAY, JAN. 9
Washington at New York
Boston at New Jersey
L.A. Clippers at Charlotte
San Antonio at Miami
Chicago at Detroit
Seattle at Houston
L.A. Lakers at Phoenix
Minnesota at Sacramento

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 10
Detroit at Boston
New York at Philadelphia
L.A. Clippers at Atlanta
Milwaukee at Cleveland
Chicago at Indiana
Denver at Utah
Orlando at L.A. Lakers
Dallas at Golden State

THURSDAY, JAN. 11
Charlotte at New Jersey
Washington at Miami
Portland at Minnesota
Orlando at Denver
Houston at Sacramento
Dallas at Seattle

FRIDAY, JAN. 12
San Antonio at Boston
Cleveland at Philadelphia
Chicago at Charlotte
Minnesota at Detroit
New York at Indiana
L.A. Clippers at Milwaukee
Sacramento at Phoenix
Houston at L.A. Lakers

SATURDAY, JAN. 13
San Antonio at New York
Philadelphia at Washington
Boston at Miami
New Jersey at Cleveland
Portland at Detroit
Milwaukee at Indiana
L.A. Clippers at Chicago
Utah at Dallas
Phoenix at Denver
Orlando at Golden State
Atlanta at Seattle

SUNDAY, JAN. 14
Portland at New Jersey

MONDAY, JAN. 15
Chicago at New York
Miami at Washington
San Antonio at Cleveland
Golden State at Indiana
Dallas at Denver
Charlotte at Phoenix
Sacramento at L.A. Lakers
Houston at Seattle

TUESDAY, JAN. 16
Golden State at Milwaukee
Charlotte at L.A. Clippers
Atlanta at Sacramento
Denver at Portland

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 17
Washington at New Jersey
Detroit at Philadelphia
Boston at Orlando
Indiana at Miami
Cleveland at Houston
Phoenix at Dallas
New York at San Antonio
Atlanta at Utah
Seattle at L.A. Lakers

THURSDAY, JAN. 18
Milwaukee at Washington
Golden State at Chicago
Charlotte at Denver
Minnesota at Phoenix
Seattle at L.A. Clippers

FRIDAY, JAN. 19
Indiana at Boston
New Jersey at Orlando
Philadelphia at Miami
Chicago at Atlanta
Golden State at Detroit
L.A. Lakers at Milwaukee
New York at Dallas
Cleveland at San Antonio
Charlotte at Utah

SATURDAY, JAN. 20
New Jersey at Philadelphia
Washington at Houston
Cleveland at Dallas
San Antonio at Denver
Seattle at Phoenix
Minnesota at L.A. Clippers
Utah at Sacramento

SUNDAY, JAN. 21
Golden State at Boston
L.A. Lakers at Detroit
New York at Chicago
Miami at Milwaukee
Charlotte at Portland

MONDAY, JAN. 22
Phoenix at Orlando
Denver at Houston
Washington at San Antonio
L.A. Clippers at Sacramento

TUESDAY, JAN. 23
L.A. Lakers at New York
Atlanta at Charlotte
Phoenix at Miami
Philadelphia at Cleveland
Detroit at Chicago
Washington at Dallas
Houston at Utah
Minnesota at Golden State
Milwaukee at Portland

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 24
Miami at Boston
Orlando at Philadelphia
Cleveland at Atlanta
L.A. Lakers at Indiana
L.A. Clippers at San Antonio
Golden State at Sacramento
Milwaukee at Seattle

THURSDAY, JAN. 25
Orlando at New Jersey
Boston at Washington
Phoenix at Charlotte
L.A. Clippers at Houston
New York at Utah

FRIDAY, JAN. 26
Chicago at Philadelphia
Phoenix at Detroit
Miami at Indiana
Cleveland at Minnesota
Sacramento at Dallas
Milwaukee at L.A. Lakers
Seattle at Golden State
San Antonio at Portland

SATURDAY, JAN. 27
Washington at Philadelphia
Sacramento at Charlotte
Atlanta at Orlando
Cleveland at Indiana
New Jersey at Chicago
Detroit at Minnesota
Dallas at Houston
New York at Denver
Milwaukee at Utah
Portland at L.A. Clippers
San Antonio at Seattle

SUNDAY, JAN. 28
Phoenix at Boston

MONDAY, JAN. 29
Atlanta at Chicago
Sacramento at Minnesota
New Jersey at Dallas
San Antonio at L.A. Lakers

TUESDAY, JAN. 30
Indiana at Orlando
Cleveland at Miami
Detroit at Atlanta
Sacramento at Milwaukee
New Jersey at Phoenix
L.A. Lakers at L.A. Clippers
Utah at Portland

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 31
New York at Boston
Washington at Detroit
Philadelphia at Indiana
Seattle at Minnesota
Houston at Dallas
Charlotte at San Antonio
L.A. Clippers at Utah
Portland at Golden State

THURSDAY, FEB. 1
Sacramento at New York
Orlando at Milwaukee
Chicago at Houston
New Jersey at Denver
Atlanta at Phoenix

FRIDAY, FEB. 2
Milwaukee at Philadelphia
Sacramento at Washington
San Antonio at Charlotte
L.A. Clippers at Miami
Seattle at Indiana
Boston at Minnesota
Dallas at Utah
Atlanta at L.A. Lakers
New Jersey at Golden State

SATURDAY, FEB. 3
Indiana at New York
Seattle at Washington
L.A. Clippers at Orlando
Detroit at Cleveland
Chicago at San Antonio
Houston at Phoenix
Dallas at Portland

SUNDAY, FEB. 4
Sacramento at Boston
Utah at Detroit
Philadelphia at Milwaukee
Golden State at Minnesota
Atlanta at Denver
New Jersey at L.A. Lakers
Phoenix at Portland

MONDAY, FEB. 5
Miami at New York
Utah at Philadelphia
Golden State at Washington
Seattle at Charlotte
L.A. Clippers at Cleveland

TUESDAY, FEB. 6
Milwaukee vs. Boston at Hartford
New York at Orlando
Washington at Miami
Cleveland at Detroit
Minnesota at Houston
Atlanta at San Antonio
Indiana at Denver
Dallas at Sacramento
L.A. Lakers at Portland

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 7
Charlotte at Boston
Utah at New Jersey
Golden State at Philadelphia
Chicago at L.A. Lakers
Phoenix at Seattle

THURSDAY, FEB. 8
Golden State at New York
L.A. Clippers at Washington
Utah at Charlotte
Philadelphia at Orlando
Miami at Cleveland
Detroit at Milwaukee
Atlanta at Houston
Minnesota at Dallas
Indiana at San Antonio
Chicago at Denver

FRIDAY, FEB. 9
No games scheduled

SATURDAY, FEB. 10
No games scheduled

SUNDAY, FEB. 11
All-Star game at Miami

MONDAY, FEB. 12
No games scheduled

TUESDAY, FEB. 13
Chicago at Miami
New York at Atlanta
Denver at Detroit
Charlotte at Indiana
Boston at Houston
San Antonio at Dallas
Minnesota at Utah
Phoenix at L.A. Clippers
Washington at Sacramento
Portland at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 14
New Jersey at Philadelphia
Chicago at Orlando
Indiana at Cleveland
Denver at Milwaukee
Charlotte at Minnesota
Boston at San Antonio
Utah at Phoenix
Portland at L.A. Lakers

THURSDAY, FEB. 15
Seattle at New Jersey
Orlando at Atlanta
New York at Houston
Washington at Golden State
L.A. Lakers at Sacramento

FRIDAY, FEB. 16
Seattle at Philadelphia
Denver at Charlotte
Atlanta at Cleveland
Miami at Chicago
Indiana at Minnesota
Utah at San Antonio
Golden State at Phoenix
Washington at L.A. Clippers
Boston at Portland

SATURDAY, FEB. 17
Cleveland at New York
Denver at New Jersey
Detroit at Miami
San Antonio at Houston
Orlando at Dallas
Sacramento at Utah

SUNDAY, FEB. 18
Indiana vs. Washington at Baltimore
Seattle at Charlotte
Chicago at Milwaukee
Atlanta at Minnesota
Boston at L.A. Lakers
Phoenix at Golden State
Philadelphia at Portland

MONDAY, FEB. 19
Dallas at Cleveland
Miami at Detroit
Houston at Chicago
Golden State at Denver
Philadelphia at Utah
Sacramento at L.A. Clippers

TUESDAY, FEB. 20
Portland at Charlotte
Seattle at Orlando
Washington at Atlanta
New Jersey at Milwaukee
Houston at Minnesota
L.A. Lakers at San Antonio
Boston at Phoenix
L.A. Clippers at Sacramento

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 21
Minnesota at New Jersey
Seattle at Miami
Portland at Cleveland
Orlando at Detroit
Atlanta at Indiana
L.A. Lakers at Denver
Boston at Utah
Philadelphia at Golden State

THURSDAY, FEB. 22
New York at Washington
Dallas at Milwaukee
Utah at L.A. Clippers
Phoenix at Sacramento

FRIDAY, FEB. 23
Houston at New Jersey
Milwaukee at Charlotte
New York at Miami
Detroit at Atlanta
Orlando at Cleveland
Dallas at Indiana
Portland at Chicago
Minnesota at San Antonio
L.A. Clippers at Denver
Philadelphia at L.A. Lakers
Boston at Golden State
Sacramento at Seattle

SATURDAY, FEB. 24
Orlando at Washington
Houston at Atlanta
Philadelphia at Phoenix

SUNDAY, FEB. 25
Detroit at New York
Chicago at New Jersey
Milwaukee at Miami
Charlotte at Cleveland
Portland at Indiana
Dallas at Minnesota
Boston at Denver
Utah at L.A. Lakers
San Antonio at L.A. Clippers
Golden State at Seattle

MONDAY, FEB. 26
Orlando at Philadelphia
Miami at Atlanta
San Antonio at Sacramento

TUESDAY, FEB. 27
Dallas at New York
Charlotte at Orlando
Houston at Detroit
New Jersey at Indiana
Milwaukee at Chicago
Washington at Minnesota
Denver at Phoenix
Seattle at L.A. Clippers
Cleveland at Portland

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 28
Dallas at Boston
Sacramento at Miami
Indiana at Atlanta
San Antonio at Golden State
L.A. Lakers at Seattle

THURSDAY, MARCH 1
Philadelphia at New York
Detroit at Washington
L.A. Clippers at Charlotte
Sacramento at Orlando
Phoenix at Houston
Cleveland at Denver
Portland at Utah

FRIDAY, MARCH 2
Boston at Miami
Milwaukee at Atlanta
Philadelphia at Detroit
New Jersey at Chicago
Phoenix at Dallas
Golden State at San Antonio
Cleveland at L.A. Lakers
Minnesota at Seattle

SATURDAY, MARCH 3
Atlanta at New Jersey
Sacramento at Charlotte
Washington at Orlando
L.A. Clippers at Indiana
New York at Milwaukee
Golden State at Houston
Dallas at Denver
San Antonio at Utah
Seattle at Portland

SUNDAY, MARCH 4
Chicago at Boston
Indiana at Detroit
Cleveland at Phoenix
Minnesota at L.A. Lakers

MONDAY, MARCH 5
Sacramento at New Jersey
L.A. Clippers at Philadelphia
Utah at Miami
Houston at San Antonio
Charlotte at Golden State

TUESDAY, MARCH 6
Portland at New York
Utah at Orlando
Phoenix at Atlanta
Sacramento at Detroit
Washington at Indiana
Chicago at Milwaukee
L.A. Lakers at Houston
Charlotte at Denver
Cleveland at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7
Portland at Boston
L.A. Clippers at New Jersey
New York at Philadelphia
Phoenix at Washington
Orlando at Miami
Denver at Minnesota
L.A. Lakers at Dallas

THURSDAY, MARCH 8
Utah at Chicago
L.A. Clippers at Minnesota
Seattle at Houston
Cleveland at Golden State
Charlotte at Sacramento

FRIDAY, MARCH 9
Washington vs. Boston at Hartford, Conn.
Detroit at New Jersey
Portland at Philadelphia
Seattle at Atlanta
Phoenix at Indiana
Utah at Milwaukee
Golden State at L.A. Lakers

SATURDAY, MARCH 10
New Jersey at New York
Portland at Washington
Indiana at Chicago
Phoenix at Minnesota
Dallas at Houston
Denver at San Antonio
Orlando at L.A. Clippers

SUNDAY, MARCH 11
Philadelphia at Boston
Detroit at Charlotte
New York at Miami
L.A. Lakers at Atlanta
Cleveland at Milwaukee
Utah at Denver
Sacramento at Golden State

MONDAY, MARCH 12
Milwaukee at New Jersey
L.A. Lakers at Charlotte
San Antonio at Minnesota
Golden State at L.A. Clippers
Orlando at Seattle

TUESDAY, MARCH 13
Chicago at New York
Boston at Atlanta
Philadelphia at Cleveland
San Antonio at Indiana
Houston at Denver
Phoenix at Utah
Miami at Sacramento
Orlando at Portland

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14
L.A. Lakers at Philadelphia
Boston at Dallas
Denver at Phoenix
Miami at L.A. Clippers

THURSDAY, MARCH 15
L.A. Lakers at Cleveland
San Antonio at Detroit
Washington at Milwaukee
New York at Minnesota
Seattle at Utah
Portland at Golden State
Houston at Sacramento

FRIDAY, MARCH 16
New Jersey at Philadelphia
Boston at Orlando
Atlanta at Indiana
Detroit at Chicago
Denver at Dallas
Miami at Phoenix
Houston at L.A. Clippers
Charlotte at Portland

SATURDAY, MARCH 17
Milwaukee at New York
Atlanta vs. Washington at Baltimore
Indiana at Cleveland
Philadelphia at Chicago
L.A. Lakers at Minnesota
Miami at San Antonio
Utah at Sacramento

SUNDAY, MARCH 18
New Jersey at Boston
Cleveland at Orlando
Dallas at Detroit
Minnesota at Denver
Charlotte at L.A. Clippers
Seattle at Golden State
Houston at Portland

MONDAY, MARCH 19
Philadelphia at New Jersey
Dallas at Atlanta
Sacramento at Utah
San Antonio at Phoenix

TUESDAY, MARCH 20
Orlando at New York
Indiana at Miami
Washington at Chicago
Detroit at Milwaukee
Portland at Houston
L.A. Clippers at Denver
Charlotte at L.A. Lakers
Minnesota at Golden State
San Antonio at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21
Cleveland at Boston
Miami at Philadelphia
New Jersey at Washington
Chicago at Atlanta
Milwaukee at Indiana
L.A. Clippers at Utah
Charlotte at Phoenix
Minnesota at Sacramento

THURSDAY, MARCH 22
Dallas at Orlando
Detroit at Houston
Portland at San Antonio
Denver at Seattle

FRIDAY, MARCH 23
Atlanta at Boston
Sacramento at Philadelphia
New York at Charlotte
Dallas at Miami
New Jersey at Indiana
Cleveland at Chicago
Golden State at Utah
Minnesota at Phoenix
L.A. Clippers at L.A. Lakers

SATURDAY, MARCH 24
Boston at New York
Philadelphia at Washington
Milwaukee at OrlandoCharlotte at Atlanta
New Jersey at Cleveland
Sacramento at Chicago
Golden State at Houston
Detroit at San Antonio
Portland at Denver
Seattle at Phoenix
Utah at L.A. Clippers

SUNDAY, MARCH 25
Milwaukee at Miami
Detroit at Dallas
Seattle at L.A. Lakers
Minnesota at Portland

MONDAY, MARCH 26
New Jersey at Charlotte
Denver at Atlanta
Sacramento at Cleveland
Phoenix at Chicago
San Antonio at Houston
Minnesota at L.A. Clippers

TUESDAY, MARCH 27
Washington at New York
Boston at Indiana
Phoenix at Milwaukee
Golden State at Dallas
Seattle at San Antonio
L.A. Lakers at Portland

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28
New York at New Jersey
Boston at Philadelphia
Denver at Washington
Miami at Orlando
Chicago at Cleveland
Charlotte at Detroit
Sacramento at Minnesota
L.A. Lakers at L.A. Clippers

THURSDAY, MARCH 29
Phoenix at Charlotte
Sacramento at Indiana
Milwaukee at Houston
Dallas at San Antonio
Utah at Golden State
Atlanta at Portland

FRIDAY, MARCH 30
Detroit at Boston
Minnesota at New Jersey
Denver at Philadelphia
Orlando at Washington
Cleveland at Miami
New York at Chicago
Minnesota at Dallas
Portland at L.A. Lakers
Atlanta at L.A. Clippers
Golden State at Seattle

SATURDAY, MARCH 31
Denver at New York
Minnesota at Houston
Milwaukee at San Antonio
Charlotte at Sacramento

SUNDAY, APRIL 1
Orlando at Boston
Washington at New Jersey
Phoenix at Philadelphia
Indiana at Cleveland
Miami at Chicago
Milwaukee at Dallas
Utah at L.A. Lakers
Seattle at L.A. Clippers
Atlanta at Golden State

MONDAY, APRIL 2
No games scheduled

TUESDAY, APRIL 3
Cleveland at New York
Houston at Philadelphia
Golden State at Orlando
Boston at Detroit
Indiana at Chicago
Minnesota at San Antonio
Charlotte at Utah
Dallas at Phoenix
L.A. Clippers at Sacramento
Portland at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4
New Jersey at Boston
New York at Washington
Golden State at Miami
Atlanta at Cleveland
Indiana at Milwaukee
San Antonio at Dallas
Charlotte at Denver

THURSDAY, APRIL 5
Detroit at Atlanta
Orlando at Chicago
Sacramento at L.A. Lakers
Utah at Seattle

FRIDAY, APRIL 6
Philadelphia at New York
Golden State at New Jersey
Houston at Washington
Minnesota at Charlotte
Indiana at Orlando
Boston at Cleveland
Milwaukee at Detroit
Seattle at Denver
L.A. Lakers at Phoenix
L.A. Clippers at Portland

SATURDAY, APRIL 7
Boston at Miami
Philadelphia at Atlanta
Washington at Milwaukee
Chicago at Dallas
Phoenix at L.A. Clippers
San Antonio at Sacramento

SUNDAY, APRIL 8
Miami at New Jersey
Golden State at Charlotte
Houston at Orlando
Detroit at Cleveland
New York at Indiana
L.A. Lakers at Denver
San Antonio at Portland

MONDAY, APRIL 9
Utah at Phoenix
Dallas at L.A. Lakers
Sacramento at Seattle

TUESDAY, APRIL 10
Detroit at New York
Boston at New Jersey
Atlanta at Philadelphia
Houston at Charlotte
Milwaukee at Orlando
Washington at Indiana
Portland at Minnesota
Seattle at Utah
Dallas at L.A. Clippers
San Antonio at Golden State
Denver at Sacramento

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11
Milwaukee at Atlanta
New Jersey at Detroit
Cleveland at Chicago

THURSDAY, APRIL 12
Miami at Boston
Indiana at New York
Minnesota at Philadelphia
Cleveland at Washington
Charlotte at Houston
L.A. Clippers at San Antonio
L.A. Lakers at Utah
Dallas at Golden State
Phoenix at Sacramento
Denver at Seattle

FRIDAY, APRIL 13
Atlanta at Detroit
Milwaukee at Chicago
Orlando at Minnesota
Golden State at L.A. Lakers
Dallas at Portland

SATURDAY, APRIL 14
Indiana at New Jersey
Chicago at Washington
Philadelphia at Charlotte
Miami at Cleveland
Orlando at Detroit
Atlanta at Milwaukee
Sacramento at San Antonio
Houston at Utah
Denver at Portland
Phoenix at Seattle

SUNDAY, APRIL 15
New York at Boston
Utah at Minnesota
Houston at L.A. Lakers

MONDAY, APRIL 16
Miami at New York
San Antonio at Charlotte
Chicago at Indiana
Portland at L.A. Clippers
Phoenix at Golden State

TUESDAY, APRIL 17
Washington at Orlando
New Jersey at Atlanta
Boston at Chicago
Cleveland at Milwaukee
Denver at Minnesota
Sacramento at Houston
Utah at Dallas
L.A. Lakers at Seattle

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18
Orlando at Boston
Cleveland at New Jersey
Indiana at Philadelphia
Charlotte at Miami
Utah at San Antonio
Portland at Phoenix
L.A. Clippers at Golden State

THURSDAY, APRIL 19
Dallas at Charlotte
Philadelphia at Detroit
Washington at Chicago
New York at Milwaukee
Denver at Houston
Minnesota at L.A. Lakers
Seattle at Sacramento

FRIDAY, APRIL 20
Chicago at Boston
Atlanta at New York
Cleveland at Orlando
Washington at Miami
Detroit at Indiana
Houston at Dallas
San Antonio at Denver
Minnesota at Utah
Golden State at Phoenix
L.A. Clippers at Seattle

SATURDAY, APRIL 21
Miami at Atlanta
New Jersey at Milwaukee
L.A. Lakers at L.A. Clippers
Portland at Sacramento

SUNDAY, APRIL 22
Orlando at New Jersey
Boston at Philadelphia
Indiana at Washington
New York at Cleveland
Chicago at Detroit
Utah at Houston
Charlotte at Dallas
Phoenix at San Antonio
Minnesota at Denver
Seattle at Golden State
L.A. Lakers at Portland

I saw this in here and a couple other places - some people say that this is not
a new decade, the new decade doesn't start until next year.  Who thought up
this bunk?  Why is 1990 part of the 80's?

    
    	The very fist decade atarted with year one, right? So the first
    decade ran from 1-10, the next decade 11-20, etc... That is why alot of
    people say the next decade doesn't start until '91. In my opinion it's
    just semantics. 
    
    
    							Dana
    

assuming that the gregorian calander started at 1 AD then we have the 
first decade going from 0001 to 0010 the second from 0011 to 0020 etc
this decade goes from january 1,1981 to dec 31,1990.

In turn this century doesn't end at dec 31, 1999

it ends at dec 31 2000...


Metz on Time...

    Year 1 ends at 1, not begins at 1.  If it did begin at 1, what happened
    to days 1 through 365 in the year 0?
    
    When a baby's born, they're not 1 until a whole year later!
    
    No whud i meen?
    
    Hawk

Meanwhile...... Nobody but nitpickers give a crap.

	1990 may be part of the `decade' 

	but 1990 is NOT part of the eighties!

And no matter how many people screech and whine about the fact that the 21st
Century doesn't start until Jan 1, 2001

	Dec. 31, 1999 is going to be one of the biggest New Years Eve blowouts
you've ever seen!

Mike JN

    And this year's Super Bowl technically belongs with the decade of
    the eighties because the championship is for the 1989 season.
    
    John

   � 	Dec. 31, 1999 is going to be one of the biggest New Years Eve
   � blowouts you've ever seen!
    
    Only among those societies who follow the Christian-oriented Gregoran
    calendar.
    
    There'll be a few billion or so Chinese, Muslims, Israelites, Hindus,
    and people from other religions and nationalities who won't give a crap
    about that date at all.
    
    Bob Hunt

>    When a baby's born, they're not 1 until a whole year later!
    
    My wife missed the first by 17 hours.  I'll take the tax deduction
    instead.
    
    Fortunately she didn't have the baby while we were at Prince's.
    
    Mike

       Congrats Mike, about time huh?
    
    >while we were at Prince's
       Did you borrow any of his funny clothes?
                                          denny  ;^)

I think Bob Hunt's attitude has devolved a bit since he got the 1-2
knockout punch, losses by the 'hoos and the iggles.

TTom

    
    
    	Quick Question......
    
    
    		Why are certain places where indoor sports are played
    	named Gardens? i.e. Boston Garden, Madison Square Garden, etc...
    	I understand calling them Forums, but where does the term
    	garden come in?
    
    
    				RIF
    

    Excellent point, Mike C.!  There won't be enough Chinese restaurants in
    the land o' the free on New Years Eve, 1999 to handle all the business!
    
    And, congrats, Mike H.!  I'm glad your wife didn't have the baby at
    the Grotto too.  Prince, the waiter, would've flipped out!  :-)
    
    Hawk

   � I think Bob Hunt's attitude has devolved a bit since he got the 1-2
   � knockout punch, losses by the 'hoos and the iggles.
    
    Nah, didn't faze me one way or another.  I could have hardly cared less
    about those two games.  In fact, I didn't even watch 'em.  I didn't
    even know who they were playing.  And I went straight for the business
    section in the next day's newspaper, too.
    
    [ Yeah, and if you believe that, I got some land in Florida for sale. ]
    
             Hey, I'm too busy becoming a Hornets fan, TTom.
               
    Funny story about the Hornets ...
    
    My wife is notoriously weak in the ol' sports department.  Couldn't
    care less about the games and barely knows the rules.   A few of you
    veteran Noters in here will recall that it was my wife who wanted to
    know why Tina Turner was playing Monday Night Football a few years
    back.  (Aside: Gifford was talking about the 49ers' *Keena* Turner but
    Cindy thought he said *Tina*. I was seriously rollward after that one.)
    
    Anyway, a week or so ago after we got back from our house-hunting trip
    in Charlotte, I was teasing her about becoming a Hornets fan.  I had
    found a Hornets souvenier store that was going out of business and had
    loaded up on shirts, hats, cups, ...
    
    So I asked her to name one of the Hornets players ...
    
    And she replies ... "Kelly Tripucka !!!"
    
    Me: "*WHAT* ???  How in the world did you know that ???"
    
    Cindy: "You mean I was right ???"
    
    Me: "No, c'mon, how did you know that Kelly Tripucka was a Hornet ???"
    
    Cindy: "He's the only basketball player I know."
    
    Me: "And why is that ???"
    
    Cindy: "My sister knew a friend who knew a friend who played tennis
    with Kelly's sister-in-law and cousin-once-removed who used to live
    across the street from my father's old house next to the movie
    theater." ( or something like that ...)
    
    Me: {Sigh} "Congratulations, you're a Hornets fan."
    
    She's one of a kind, my wife.
    
    Bob Hunt

>   <<< ... SHALOT::HUNT ... >>>

If this means what I think it means, then welcome to Charlotte!

If you or your wife are interested, I have about 17 minutes of video of
her favorite player, Kelly, crying the other night. It will, no doubt,
enhance your appreciation of him ;-).

TTom

    
   � >   <<< ... SHALOT::HUNT ... >>>

   � If this means what I think it means, then welcome to Charlotte!

    Not quite there yet.  Got the account on SHALOT but the roof over my
    head is still in Delaware.  I'll be down in the Queen City for good in
    late February.
    
    Ain't dialup wonderful ???
    
   � If you or your wife are interested, I have about 17 minutes of video of
   � her favorite player, Kelly, crying the other night. It will, no doubt,
   � enhance your appreciation of him ;-).
    
    Save your tape, TTom.  My three little she-devils have a cold death
    grip on the remote control gizmo for my VCR.  We're an around-the-clock
    "Bambi" and "Cinderella" house now.
    
    I wish had Disney stock.
    
    Bob Hunt

    You shouldn't stand for that Bob. 
    
    If I it my way, Bambi would be on my dinner plate for Xmas.....
    
    DrM

    
    No Dock, you try and tell Bob's kids that and see how far you get....
    
    
    
      you'll wonder why anyone wants to leave their legacy behind  ;^)
      
    such littl' darlin's
    
    mike

    BobHunt a Hornets fan.  BobHunt a JR Reid fan.  Gotta love it.  Wonder
    how long it'll be before he starts rooting for that other "local
    favorite" in Charlotte??  (You know, the one that sold out Charlotte
    Coliseum for a 12:00 college game 2 days before Christmas.  Charlotte
    loves the Heels, right TTom?!)
    
    As to Disney stock Bob, believe me we're doing our share.  I've only
    got 1 daughter (uKnorr I) but I haven't used my VCR for a sporting
    event since, well, since the Red Sox were in the Series.
    
    
    - ACC Chris
    

Charlotte is basically owned by Tar Heels. The banks, the money, the
media. In fact, Jefferson Pilot owns the TV station (WBT) that owns the
rights to the Hornets, ACC football, ACC basketball, etc.  Bob's problems
with Tar Heels are just starting. He's always had the remote view of this 
matter. Soon's he's gonna be in the middle of it.

I doubt if this will endear him to the Tar Heel cause.

TTom

    Everyone wanted details so here goes (I'll spare you the gross parts
    for those of you with weak stomachs, okay Dan?):
    
    Christopher Mark was born Sunday morning at 7:21, weighing in at 7lbs.
    10 3/4ozs.  He was also 21" long.  He's our fourth, I have 2 of each
    now (the boys are the oldest and youngest).  
    
    Both boys also have their own offical Boston Celtic T-shirts.  You have
    to start grooming royalty at a young age, you know.
    
    I see the NBA in his future, based on the size of his hands.  I'll tell
    him to go where the money is: NBA, PGA, MBL, or small country
    dictatorship.
    
    4 is the limit!
    
    Mike

re the bambino:

Congrats Mike --

Just make sure that the small country dictatorship comes complete
with a room at the vatican embassy 8^)


re TTom --

TTom, next time you see Frank McHugh, tell him the 'Saw said hi... 8^)


'Saw

    Congrats.......  Hope the kid has better taste in sports teams
    than his dad !!  
    
    ;^)
    
    Big Game

Yo Saw,

We be jammin tonight at the All-American Bar, watching the Hornets play
Minnesota. I'll say hey.

TTom

    Hey Mike....where should I send his new Jets shirt....actually,
    Riggen's kid probably grew out of the one I gave him by now, we can
    just recycle it around to all the sports noters.
    
    JoJ

    Heck Wardle, 
    
    Walton called when he was 6 months old looking for a replacement for
    Lageman. The kid isn't quite thru teefing on the Jet's shirt. 
    Congrat's Mike on the 4th. You should look into having something fixed
    cause it sure ain't broken. My wife gave me a ultimatum after the 2nd
    kid. 
    
    Jeff
    

Question for any of you folks who subscribe to The Sporting News...

Are you satisified with the publication?  Would you recommend it?


Thanks,
Chainsaw

You might want to check out the replies in BB_STATS notes 127.29 and on before
you subscribe.  It's on node GUNGHO.  I know you know how to spell that ;^).

j.

    
    yes and yes. unless you're into glossy pictures. also most articles
    are short and prescise and not 12 pages long with information from
    the person first coach to his mother to his highschool sweetheart
    etc...
    
    for me it could have less baseball coverage but that's where they made
    their bones and I sure I'm a minority on the baseball issue....
    
    
    mike

I liked the completeness of the Sporting News but it suffers from what
every weekly mag does: it's old news. I dropped my subscription and now
try to get a daily dosage of USA Today.

TTom

    TSN is the Bible of Baseball.  It was born in the 1870s (I think) and
    all it covered for umpteen years was baseball.
    
    If you want baseball coverage, TSN is it.  Anything else and you need
    to look elsewhere.
    
    Bob Hunt

Thanks...

I knew it had an emphasis on baseball, but I had hoped, considering the
name "Sporting News" that it might give equal coverage....oh well.

I've been toying with the idea of USA today also...that sounds like
it might be the ticket...

later,
'Saw

    
    	Who won the 1989 NOTY?
    
    Claybone

    
    Noter Dame did.

    I don't beleive we had a vote....  I do a directory and see if 
    theres a topic for it... if not, I'll start one.
    
    BTW.... I pay $5.00 a vote...
    
    Big Game

>       <<< Note 74.53 by OURGNG::J_WARDLE "Glanville=polyester_Walton" >>>
>    Hey Mike....where should I send his new Jets shirt....actually,
>    Riggen's kid probably grew out of the one I gave him by now, we can
>    just recycle it around to all the sports noters.
    
    Better not, I'd be too tempted to throw darts while he's wearing it.
    
    Mike

>        <<< Note 74.54 by BSS::RIGGEN "Co Sports teams= Bridesmaids" >>>
>    Congrat's Mike on the 4th. You should look into having something fixed
>    cause it sure ain't broken. My wife gave me a ultimatum after the 2nd
    
    We know what causes it now.  I have a date with the garden shears.
    Besides, people started to ask if I was a BYU alum.
    
    Mike

>>    We know what causes it now.  I have a date with the garden shears.
>>    Besides, people started to ask if I was a BYU alum.
    						^^^^^^^^
    Well, you do have blond hair....

>       <<< Note 74.68 by OURGNG::J_WARDLE "Glanville=polyester_Walton" >>>
>    Well, you do have blond hair....
    
    Purely coincidence!  I have nothing to do with them or their beliefs.
    
    Mike

    Why don't TE's get called for illegal procedure when they move
    prior to the snap (ie not in motion and lined up on the line
    next to the tackle).  I've seen this numerous times this season
    and they are never called for illegal procedure.  The instance
    in particular was yesterday's Donk game where Kay moved slightly,
    reset, and then the play was run...........
    
    Also, what's the ruling on possession of the ball when a receiver's
    feet don't touch the ground.  I saw two instances of this over
    the weekend.  The first was Beebe (Buffalo) having control of the
    ball and then landing on his head.  The second was a Ram receiver
    catching a pass on the sideline.  His upper body landed in the field
    of play, he then rolled out of bounds without his feet ever touching
    in bounds.
    
    Please help the hopeless,
    
    Claybone

    Football related question:  What constitutes spearing?  When the TE
    from Pittsburgh, Mularkey, got KO'd yesterday, that to me should have
    been spearing.  There was no mention of spearing by the announcers so I
    was wondering if anyone else thought the same thing.
    
    					Steve

    Are you talking about the hit Atwater put on him?  If so, no.  I
    don't think it was spearing.  I would bet that the damage was done
    when his head snapped back and he hit the back of his head on
    the ground.  
    
    Claybone

    Re: -1
    
    That's the play I was talking about, but actually I'm looking for a
    definition of spearing.  Seems like a relative term the way it's
    called.
    
    					Steve

	John Hendry (That Steel Drivin' Man) probably knows for sure, but I'll
take a guess:

	Tight End: I think it depends on what the Wide Receiver is doing. If
the W.R. lines up in such a way that he can go in motion, the T.E. must set. I
think if the Formation is such that the Tight End `could' go in motion, he
doesn't need to set, can move to the side. If he steps back, I think he has to
go in motion.

	Spearing: I've never seen spearing called unless the `spearee' was on
the ground. It seems to be when a player tries to `stick' another player (who
is on the ground) with his helmet. I've never seen spearing called when both
players were on their feet.

Mike JN

    Thanks Mike.  I've noticed the same thing in regard to spearing.  The
    player being speared is usually on the ground, or you sometimes see it
    called when the player being speared is a quarterback.
    
    I was just wondering if anyone had a rulebook handy giving the
    definition of spearing. 
    
    					Steve

    I believe that "spearing" is also defined as hitting the opponent on
    the ground with the top of your helmet.
    
    And, I also believe that the penalty is designed to protect both the
    ballcarrier *and* the tackler.  The tackler is obviously the one to be
    penalized but he could also be a lifetime victim if he breaks his neck.
    
    Bob Hunt

    
    Re. .70 (the two-foot rule):
    
    This is one the announcers never get right.  Getting two feet down to
    establish possession is a *substitute* for being downed in bounds.  In
    other words, if you land in play on your rear end, you are down and
    the catch is good, regardless if you get the feet down before sliding
    out-of-bounds.
    
    This is why I thought Beebe's catch was good (although it is
    debatable).  I thought he had solid possession when his head and
    shoulders hit the turf, and that it was the ground that jarred the
    ball loose.  Merlin kept insisting that it was no catch because the
    receiver didn't get his feet down, but this point is irrelevant.  Was
    he down or not when the ball came loose is the relevant question.
    
    glenn
     

    
    
    Another thing about that Beebe play is how could it be called an
    incomplete pass when the ball never hit the ground? Beebe had it,
    posession being questionable, lands on his head, ball pops out, 
    Cleveland player catches it. It had to be either a reception or an
    interception.

    I saw the replay a few times and it did look like the ball was coming 
    loose *before* Bebee hit the ground.  Otherwise, it should have been
    a reception.
    
    Bill

    Excuse me, but Bebee (all time name :-) went down as the result
    of a hard hit. I thought that the ground could not cause a fumble,
    therefore, the 'fumble' is irrelevant, right ? It's a completion,
    and Bebee is down at the spot (assuming that he had possession on
    impact) ....
    
    DrM

    
    Right, Dock, assuming he had possession on impact..  which I don't believe
    he had, it was a completion.  Assuming he didn't have possession, it
    was an interception.    
    
    The bottom line is that the call that was made (incomplete), could not 
    have possibly been the correct call.  Another glaring example that 
    the only thing instant replay has done this year is prolong the
    games.  I can't remember any instances this year (outside of Green Bay
    games) where instant replay has changed a call.  It seems like 
    obvious wrong calls are being passed off as "inconclusive" every time.
    If this is the way replay is going to be used, I say CAN IT!!!      
    
    /Jeff

    Seems like the referees were afraid to call it either way, so they took
    a neutral position.  That way it didn't hurt either team.  
    
    Could an official be indecisive and call for a replay (not video)
    of the down?  (No play happened)
    
    Bill

              >>>>>>>>>Is this where I should ask???<<<<<<<<<
    
    I'm looking for some software that would help me in scheduling games
    
    for the youth hockey league that I am involved in.  Between the
    
    DEC hockey league and the DEC softball league I figure someone must
    
    of written something, but I don't know where to look.  I would
    
    appreciate any pointers. 
    
    
    				Thanks
    
    Leo Lapointe
    Idaho::Lapointe
    
    

$ ON CONTROL_Y THEN EXIT
$ FLAG1 = 0
$ SAY:== WRITE SYS$OUTPUT
$ !CLEAR SCREEN
$ SAY ""
$ !CURSOR HOME
$ SAY ""
$PIG:
$ SAY "     This is a program that will make a schedule dependent on the number of"
$ SAY "players or teams.  Since an odd number will result in a player/team having"
$ SAY "a Bye once in the season, if your total number of players/teams is even, you"
$ SAY "must deside if they too will have a Bye.   Note also that with an even #"
$ SAY "of players/teams and a choice of the bye for their league, every other week"
$ SAY "two people/teams will have the bye.  Everyone still gets a bye!  Good Luck"
$ SAY "with your Leagues.                Regards, Kevin Freeman DTN 271-6673"
$ SAY ""
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT FIL "What is the name of the schedule file you wish to make? "
$ FIL = "''FIL'" - ";"
$ TEMP = F$LENGTH(FIL)
$ TEMP1 = F$LOCATE(".",FIL)
$ IF TEMP .EQS. TEMP1 THEN FIL = "''FIL'" + ".SCH"
$ CREATE 'FIL
$ ON CONTROL_Y THEN GOTO Z4
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT RIGHT "How many players or teams? "
$ IF RIGHT .LT. 10 THEN CB = " " + "''RIGHT'" + " |"
$ IF RIGHT .GT. 9 THEN CB = " " + "''RIGHT'" + "|"
$ TR = 1
$ FIX3 = "B"
$ variable_name = RIGHT
$ IF variable_name THEN GOTO FIX1
$ IF .NOT. variable_name THEN GOTO FIX2
$FIX1:
$ ON CONTROL_Y THEN GOTO Z5
$ SAY ""
$ T1 = 'RIGHT
$ T2 = 'RIGHT + 1
$A1:
$ IF T1 .LT. 20 THEN GOTO B1
$ IF T1 .LT. 33 THEN GOTO Z3
$ SAY ""
$ SAY "I can only make a schedule with 32 or less players/teams, Sorry!"
$ SAY ""
$ DELETE 'FIL;
$ GOTO PIG
$Z5:
$ CLOSE OUT
$Z4:
$ DELETE 'FIL;
$ EXIT
$Z3:
$ SET TERM/WIDTH=130
$ SAY ""
$ SAY "Your choice of #'s of players or teams results in too many characters per"
$ SAY "line so when you wish to print or view the schedule you will have to set"
$ SAY "your terminal for 132 characters; use this command   SET TERM/WIDTH=130 "
$ SAY "and   SET TERM/WIDTH=80  to get your terminal back to 80 characters."
$B1:
$ SAY ""
$ SAY "Working........."
$ OPEN/WRITE OUT 'FIL
$ B = 2
$ A = 1
$ C = 1
$ D = " ''C' "
$A2:
$ C = C + 1
$ IF C .LT. 10 THEN GOTO B2
$ D = D + "|" + " ''C'"
$ GOTO B3
$B2:
$ D = D + "|" + " ''C' "
$B3:
$ IF C .NES. T1 THEN GOTO A2
$ D = D + "|" + " ''FIX3' "
$ WRITE OUT D
$ C = 1
$A3:
$ G = 0
$ A = 1
$ IF B .LT. 10 THEN GOTO C1
$ D = " ''B'"
$ GOTO A4
$C1:
$ D = " ''B' "
$A4:
$ IF B .EQS. T2 THEN GOTO BYE
$ IF T1 .NES. A THEN GOTO A5
$ IF B .EQS. C THEN GOTO X1
$ D = D + "|" + " ''C'"
$ GOTO X2
$X1:
$ D = D + "|" + " ''FIX3'"
$X2:
$ WRITE OUT D
$!DONE ROW
$ B = B + 1
$ G = G + 1
$ GOTO A3
$A5:
$ IF B .NES. 1 THEN GOTO A8
$ B = B + 1
$ GOTO A6
$A8:
$ IF T2 .NES. C THEN GOTO A6
$ C = 1
$A6:
$ IF B .NES. C THEN GOTO A7
$ IF FIX3 .LT. 10  THEN D= D + "|" + " ''FIX3' "
$ IF FIX3 .GT. 9 THEN D = D + "|" + " ''FIX3'"
$ TR = A
$ CT'TR = B
$ A = A + 1
$ C = C + 1
$ GOTO A4
$A7:
$ IF C .LT. 10 THEN GOTO B4
$ D = D + "|" + " ''C'"
$ GOTO B5
$B4:
$ D = D + "|" + " ''C' "
$B5:
$ A = A + 1
$ C = C + 1
$ GOTO A4 
$BYE:
$ IF FLAG1 .EQS. 0 THEN GOTO BYE1
$ CC = 1
$BYE2:
$ IF CC .EQS. RIGHT THEN GOTO BYE1
$ CTA = CT'CC
$ IF CTA .LT. 10 THEN CB = "''CB'" + " " + "''CTA'" + " |"
$ IF CTA .GT. 9 THEN CB = "''CB'" + " " + "''CTA'" + "|"
$ CC = CC + 1
$ GOTO BYE2
$BYE1:
$ CB = "''CB'" + " 1"
$ IF FLAG1 .EQS. 1 THEN WRITE OUT CB
$ CLOSE OUT
$ IF T1 .GT. 19 THEN GOTO Z1
$ SAY "Hit a Return and you can view what it looks like.  If you have a VT100 with"
$ SAY "the Advanced Video Option or better, the schedule will have underlines."
$ SAY "Note...they may not appear on all printers as well.  LN03 works great!"
$ SAY ""
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT HOLD "Hit a Return to view!  "
$ TYPE 'FIL
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT HOLD "Hit a Return to exit!  "
$ PURGE 'FIL
$ EXIT
$Z1:
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT HOLD "Hit a Return to view!  "
$ SET TERM/WIDTH=130
$ TYPE 'FIL
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT HOLD "Hit a Return to exit!  "
$ SET TERM/WIDTH=80
$ PURGE 'FIL
$ EXIT
$FIX2:
$ INQUIRE/NOPUNCT SELEC "Selection = even Number of Players, do wish for them to have a Bye (Y/<N>) "
$ IF SELEC .EQS. "Y" THEN FIX3 = "B"
$ IF SELEC .NES. "Y" THEN FIX3 = RIGHT
$ IF SELEC .NES. "Y" THEN RIGHT = RIGHT - 1
$ IF SELEC .NES. "Y" THEN FLAG1 = 1
$ GOTO FIX1

	Thanks .85, but I am looking for something a little 
	more sophisticated.

	I would like to be able to create different tables
	for each rink(available ice time). Tell it how many
	home games and how many away games for each team
	then it should tell me who is playing who and where.

	That's the basic that I would like.  It would be nice
	if after each weekend I input who won/by what score
	and it comes back with win/lost record, goals for/goals
	against.

	Most of these ideas came from the Bowling program in the
	Bowling note(93.3) this one even has more information than
	I'm looking for.

	Any pointers would be nice.  There must be someone out there
	who wrote something like this.  Does the NHL us DEC computers?

	If anybody knows something that will run on a PC I MAY be 
	interested in that.

					Thanks

Leo

Also posting in Hockey & Bruins notesfiles.

Is there somwhere else?

					Thanks again

    Leo, try the NATURALISM conference.  Look under the nude volleyball
    note, I'm sure there's what you're looking for.  Let me know if they
    invite you to "observe" one of their games.......
    
    Hope this helps.
    
    Hawk  :-)

	Periodically in this Notesfile there is reference to how many plates
can be stacked on T's butt. Comparisons with other platestacking juggernauts
are also common.

" What the hell is this all about?! " he inquired solicitiously.

What's the history on T's plate stacking prowess?
Why does he do it? (because he can or because it's there aren't good enough).

Who started this fad, and are there any other Noters with this particular
fetish/capability?

Expiring Mimes Want To Know
Mike JN

    I was wondering how long it would take you John, oops sorry Hawk.
    

    No problem, Leo.  Nice to see you're no longer a RON!  :-)
    
    Me.

    An unusual (to me anyway) situation occured over the weekend as a
    result of the the LA Kings/NY Rangers trade.  A player (Nichols) was
    voted into the NHL allstar game for the Campbell conference, but ended
    up playing for the Wales conference because of the trade.
    
    My question:  Has this ever happened before in any sport?  Has anyone
    been voted in as an All Star representing one team/league/conference,
    but ended up playing for the "opposition"?

    Actually Nichols played for the Campbell team.  It still was wierd
    though.  Should he play to win?  What if someone on his team started a
    fight with a Ranger?  You think they could of waited a day and
    announced the trade after the game.

    
   Who coined the phrase "It aint over till the Fat Lady sings"
    
    Also, in what situation did he first use it ?
    
    Walker

       The first time I ever heard it was by the '78 Bullets, but it's
    got to be older than that.
                                      Denny

    
    Denny's right about the 78 bullets making it buzz statement in sports
    Dick Motta now the coach of the Sacremento Kings was one who coined
    during the NBA finals when his team was down 3-2 to Seattle......
    
    And if DJ hadn't gone 1-14 in game 7 the fat lady would have sung for
    the Bullets.
    
    The saying comes from some opera, where at the end of the opera some
    fat lady sings.....
    
    mike

    Got this from our Mad Opera Singing Welshman:
    
    It ain't over till the fat lady sings is a quote from Mark Twain!
    
    Apparently, he went to see an Aria called Corni von Tutti (sp) where
    this gigantic Swedish lady sang at the end.
    
    Important to note also, is that every Aria ends with some lady
    (preferably fat, I suppose) belting out some tunes which explains
    the whole thing.
    
    First time I ever heard it was the wife of one of the biggest Indians
    I've ever seen. He had on a black ten gallon hat and kept putting
    his drink on the brim while explaining things.  I reckon that the
    poor boy didn't get out to often and just kept slapping back these
    free drinks until his wife (who was rather hefty herself) came from 
      where she was sitting in the back and said "It aint over till the
    fat lady sings - La la la la lah" at the top of her lungs.

    Cosi Fan Tutti is the opera -.1 is referring to.  The first time
    I heard the phrase was from Dick Motta while he was coaching the
    1978 Bullets to the NBA title.
    
    John

    
    Didn't the phrase come from the "Mamas and Papas", where Mama Cass
    ended each concert?
    
    Of course, she came from Cleveland, 'cause she choked before reaching
    the finals.
    
    -Dick
    

    
    Oh, and wasn't it Little Richard who sang Cosi Fan Tutti?
    
    -Dick
    

    Here's one for ya:
    
        Who's "Basement Bertha" ?
    
    Ras

    
    One of the BUT sisters.
    
    Right?
    
    Hal
    
    Dick - you better watch yourself!
    

    "BUT" sisters ?
    
    nope. keep guessing.

    Steven,
    
    Yep,  Basement Bertha was in the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS, created, I
    believe, by sports cartoonist Bill Gallo. Gallo's other creations
    include Yunchie and Yoonchi (or sumthang like that), 2 kids who
    talk sports. He's also got a Steinbrenner parody, a Baron Von
    Steinkiller (or unreasonable fax thereof...).
    
    I know that helped.
    
    JD

    could some of you "knowledgeable" basketball people please explain
    playing basketball by the numbers? (is it like painting by numbers?)
    
    I've heared various references to the 2 man or 3 man on the court
    or the 2 position or 3 position but am from the old school where
    a guard was a guard, a forward was a forward, etc.
    
    Does playing by numbers have some "magical" benefit?
    
    Where did this originate?
    
    If it's so great how come it isn't used in the NBA??
    
    Any references to good articles or books on the subject?
    
    thanks in advance....

    	It's just some fancy technomumble buzz words to identify players
    on the court.  Guards ain't guards anymore they're shooting guards
    (I thought everyone wuz supposed to that?) or point guards.  There
    are power forwards and small forwards, though sometimes your small
    forward cain be bigger than your power forward.  Of course we now
    have point forwards, point centers etc, etc, etc...  But to set
    you straight on the basketball numbers game, it goes like this:
    
    		1. Point guard
    		2. Shooting guard
    		3. Small forward
    		4. Power forward
    		5. Center
    
    				/Don

    In basketball is a tip-in attempt considered an offensive rebound?
    
    
    Spud

    Anyone tape the Bud Bowl?  Can you answer these questions?
    
    After the first td in BB I, was the celbration a hi-5, a hi-6 or
    a hi-mom?
    
    How long was the winning FG?  28 yds, 42 yds, or 8 seconds?
    
    In the pregame speech, did the coach say ro 
    Spill some Bud, Kick some glass or turn out their lights?
    
    Was the Beechwood rollout a pass play, flea flicker or a sweep?
    
    -Walt

    Yes, I have the Bud Bowl and that other Bowl on tape.
    
    But only BB II, not BB 
    
    Otherwise I'd say
    1) hi-6
    2) 8 seconds (and 42 yds)
    3) turn out their lights
    4) flea flicker
    
    The Wizard
    

    I'd have to say the beechwood was a sweep, the one Bud dude with
    the ball :) was following a procession of rolling Buds that were
    knocking out all the opponents...                               
    
    the celebration was a hi-6...
    
    sean

    >was following a procession of rolling Buds ...
    
    That was BB II, he's asking questions from BB I.
    
    The Wizard

    oh yeah yeah yeah... that was a flea flicker.. definitely..
    
    sean

    
    Wasn't that last touchdown an advancement of a fumble inside the last
    two minutes?  What kinda refs were doin' this game, anyway?
    
    glenn
    

    re.114
    
    Yeah, it was an avdance of a fumble......
    
    Bud Bowls are not subject to scrutiny by the NFL rules committee.
    
    
    
    JaKe
    

    The Budweiser officials (the real ones) said that they intentionally
    allowed the game to be decided on an play that would have been illegal
    in the NFL. The reason ? So that they could do a Bud Bowl postgame,
    et al ... 
    
    According to the ratings, it was a good move.
    
    Doc
    
    p.s. I remember the Raiders beating the Chargers that way when I
    was a kid living in San Diego. The NFL then put the 2-minute fumble
    rule as a result.
    
    I hated the Raiders for years after that game ....

    Can you check the tape.  They showed last years highlights at the
    start.
    
    -Walt

    
       Help me settle an arguement. Are Mars Blackman (Nike commercial)
    and Spike Lee (director) the same person? I say yes, but other
    people disagree. A "boot" of Beck beer rides on the outcome.
    
    Bull
    

>       Help me settle an arguement. Are Mars Blackman (Nike commercial)
>    and Spike Lee (director) the same person? I say yes, but other
>    people disagree. A "boot" of Beck beer rides on the outcome.
	
        One in the same.

	Spike Lee:  "She's Gotta Have It"
	            "School Daze"
		    "Do the Right Thing"

    
    Yep, that's Spike Lee.  I think Mars Blackman is a character from some
    of his earlier movies.
    
    glenn
     

    Mars Blackman is a character from Spike Lee's firt big release called
    "She's Gotta Have It."  It's been highly recommended though I've never
    seen it.  In the movie, I was told, Blackman makes a big deal out of
    Air Jordans as a status symbol.  Jordan and Nike liked the free
    publicity so much, they decided to try a commercial with Lee.  The rest
    is history.
    
    	--dan'l

    
        Thanks all. 
    
        And, for JoJ. Congrats Mars/Spike. :^>
    
        Bull
    

    Congrats, Bull, for winning the bet!
    
    Haw'k

    Yup, Mars = Spike Lee ...
    
    Mars Blackman was soooo in love with his Air Jordan's, that he even
    had them on in bed with his lady. No, I'm not making that up !
    
    I **highly** recommend "She's Gotta Have It", one of the funniest
    movies I've seen in my life ....
    
    "please baby baby baby please please please baby ...."
    
    DrM
    
    p.s. BTW, Spike and Co. got screwed in the Oscar balloting. "Do The Right
    Thing" got only two nominations, and neither was for Best Picture
    or Director ... :-(     
    

>                       <<< Note 74.126 by SASE::SZABO >>>
>          -< could be lack of publicity- I never heard of it myself! >-

"Do the Right Thing" was a near unanimous Top Ten pick by critics for
1989, some listing it in the Top Ten of the decade.   Danny Aiello, the
owner of the pizza joint in the movie got a Best Supporting nomination.

Of Lee's three movies, I liked "School Daze" best... an inside look at
life at a black college.   Although, it had the most ridiculous ending 
of any movie I have EVER seen.  

"She's Gotta Have It" had some serious hoop talk... Mars was ranking on
Larry Bird pretty heavily.

    Can anyone comment (intelligently...:-) on collective bargaining in
    sports. an MBA assignment! For example, how come baseball and football
    seemed to constantly be on the wrong side of the barganing table and
    the nba seems to run fairly smooth. Anything to do with the way the
    perspective unions are run???
    
    Thanks
    Dee
    

    
    NBA players agreed to a salary cap to allow the owners to make a profit
    and  agreed to drug testing, suspensions etc...Owners agreed to
    free  agency and revenue sharing (I think players cut is 53%?).
    
    MLB and NFL football the owners are filthy rich and are too greedy to
    share. Football players have revenue sharing but no real free agency
    so to speak. It's there but the compensation is very high. A grade A
    stud comands 2 no #1 draft picks. Owners are know as the good ole boys
    network and simple coluded not to sign others players. There were final
    a few signings after baseball owners were found in collusion to mask
    the good ole boys' network.....George Steinbrener is an onwer of a
    baseball team need anyone wonder why the two sides are at odds in 
    this game?
    
    mike
               

    re .127
    
    1) Doug, the ending for "School Daze" was symbolic, not to be taken
    at face value.
       
    2) re Larry Bird ("She's Gotta Have It")
    
    Mars : "Bernard King threw down this *serious* ... dunk, right
    into Larry Bird's ugly mug !"
    
    Jamie : "You have to admit, the white boy is bad ... he's the best
    player in the NBA."
    
    Mars : "THE BEST ? THE BEST ?"
    
    Jamie : "The best ..."
    
    Mars : "The best ? He's might be the *UGLIST* mutha----er in the NBA !"
                                             
    When Mars dropped that line, the entire theater was floorward !
                     
    (Eat THAT Jihad !)

>    Mars : "The best ? He's might be the *UGLIST* mutha----er in the NBA !"
 	
    	Yeah, my friends had to peel me off the floor after that one!
    8^)
    
    sean   

    Regarding pro sports contracts:
    
    Saw a cartoon last week, where a guy says he just saw the most
    ridiculous sign.  It was an athlete, who makes $1M a year, carrying
    a sign that said "Owners are unfair."  :*)
    
    Gotta admit that it's a pretty weird situation.

    Lee

    re- .128
    
    Read the article in today's(2/20) USA Today on David Stern. He is the
    primary reason for the success of the NBA, and he deserves the enormous
    contract that he was just given.
    
    Chris

    OK, here's a question for you history/geography buffs (no not
    Colorado).  ESPN was giving scores at halftime last night and one of
    them was the Davidson vs Miami of Ohio score.  My girlfriend asked me why
    there was a Miami in Ohio.  I told her because the Miami indians lived
    there and there is a river named the Great Miami River.
    
    Then she asked me which came first, Miami in Ohio or Miami in Florida. 
    Miami in Ohio by about 200 years.  Then she followed with one I
    couldn't answer; how come if the Miami indians were in Ohio and the
    Miami River is in Ohio is there a Miami in Florida (i.e. how did Miami,
    Florida get its name)?
    
    Anyone know before I go to the library to find out?
    
    	--dan'l
    

    
    	your girlfriend asks too many questions.  8^)
    
    sean

    Maybe, but she always has the right answer:
    
    
    
    
    yes. Yes. YES!
    
    	--dan'l

       Maybe the indians went to Florida for the Winter? 
    Why is there a town in Mass. called Florida?
                                           Denny

    Dan'l,
    
    A very easy question.
    
    The legend on how Miami got its name is well known in the south
    of Florida - school children are taught it at a young, young age.
    Way back when the 'white' man first came to Florida (Ponce Deleon
    and the boys, but  not that far back).
    
    Legend has it that a couple of white explorers were 'discovering'
    parts of southern Florida.  They ran across different Indian tribes
    - some friendly, some not.  They met a band of Indians near where
    Miami is today, led by a captivating creature with the name of
    Amistarbright.   She captured the hearts of the explorers, but a
    few of the Indian men didnt' take to kindly to the explorers amorous
    overtones to Amistarbright.  The head Indian male, and the head
    explorer finally came to blows over Amistarbright, or Ami, as the
    explorers were fond to call her.  The two fought tooth and nail,
    cursing and punching and arguing over whose Ami was.  "My Ami, no
    MYYY AMI, they argued"  They ended up killing themselves, and the
    remaining explorer, sat back, and put his arm around Amistarbright
    and said, "No, My Ami".  They settled there, propogated, and the
    settlement became know as Myami, later anglicized to Miami.
    
    That's the legend.
    
    JD

    JD,
    
    As a writer, I could probably have come up with better.  But legends
    are legends and I'll pass it on.  I'm now even more curious.  If this
    legend is printed in the World Book, I'll sh!t.
    
    A colleague here told me that indians used some common words throughout
    the many languages they had.  My hunch is that Miami is one of those
    words.  I'll letchall know soon.
    
    Until then, don't lose sleep.  I know many of you are as concerned
    about this as world peace and the ozone layer.
    
    	--dan'l

    Re NBA vs. NFL,MLB
    
    One reason that the NBA seems to be run smoother is that several
    years ago, when the NBA was in serious financial trouble, the owners
    came to the players (who realized that their livelihoods were in
    jeopardy) and worked with them as partners.  They've worked pretty
    much together ever since.
    
    Re Stern:
    
    He walked into a good situation.  Much of his success is due to
    the work Larry O'brien did ahead of him to build the foundation
    Stern is living on.
    
    Bruce

    The reason Stern walked into a good situation when he replaced Larry
    O'Brien is that Larry had an excellent Deputy Commissioner that set up
    alot of the things that are helping the NBA excell today. This prudent
    executive helped set up the revenue sharing, the drug testing policy,
    and the television arrangements. That assistant to O'Brien is the real
    reason that NBA is the healthiest league today. That assistant's name
    was
    
    
    David Stern  .

    Thanks for the comments on the NBA. Basically you all seem to be saying
    it is leadership and the NBA has the best.   Good quote on leadership....
        
                     "An army of sheep led by a lion
    
                                  WILL DEFEAT
    
                      An army of lions led by a sheep"
    
    David the Lionhearted..........
    
        Dee

�                     "An army of sheep led by a lion
�    
�                                  WILL DEFEAT
�    
�                      An army of lions led by a sheep"


	I suspect the army of lions would kill it's sheepish leader, and
proceed to kick ass.

Mike JN

	The strength of the wolf is the strength of the pack
	and the strength of the pack is the strength of the wolf.

I like wolves better than lions OOOORRRR sheep....

Chainsaw

    Obviously an NC State and therefore an ACC fan!!

No, actually, I'd root for some of those NC State wimens tho! 8^)

I'm not a big hoops fan..... just thought the saying my be of
interest....

Chainsaw

Need a little help...

If any of you are familiar with the area, I need some directions/help.

I want to go into Boston on Saturday, and what I was planning on
doing was parking in Newton and taking the T all the way in.

Is this possible?  If so, can I get directions to a parking area near
the T, and how much will it cost me to get into Boston ($1.50???).

Thanks....

Chainsaw

    Mass Pike East to 128/95 South.  Take the next exit, I forget the
    number and name.  As you get into the exit, it forks, take the fork
    to the right.  As you get to the end of the exit, take a right again
    and this will loop you back over 128/95.  Pass a Days Inn on your
    left, go down to the bottom of the hill and the parking lot for
    the Riverside MBTA station will be there.  It will cost you $2.25
    to park (the price has gone up) and it will cost you $1.75 to get
    on the train.  Make sure you have enough quarters with you because
    they don't take dollar bills on the train and you can't always count on
    the change booth being open.
    
    John

    WHAT ARE YOU, A WIMP?!?!?!?!?  DRIVE IN AND TAKE YOUR CHANCES!!
    
    NAZZ

Nazz,

I've done that before.  When I was little, my dad was a truck driver.
He used to go all over New England, and I remember being in Boston,
in the cab, with people passing us on the right at stop lights,
all but going on the sidewalk to do it.

I've driven in Boston before.  On the side of my pick-em-up, I've
got 5 car silhouettes (makes me an Ace) and 12 people silhouettes.
All of them were earned in Boston.

Finally, since I grew up in the country, and don't get into the
big city that often, I love the subway.  To me, riding the T,
or the Metro in Paris, is/was an event I never tire of.

So, therefore, I'll be riding on in, hopefully hit the Broons-Stars
game, maybe go to the Computer museum, and ride back out to
Newton and home....

8^)
Chainsaw

>>So, therefore, I'll be riding on in, hopefully hit the Broons-Stars
>>game, maybe go to the Computer museum, and ride back out to
>>Newton and home....

Better leave da Broons game early, Frank.  All dose Broons fanz head right for
da computah mooseum aftah da gamez.

:^).

       Compyuter muzeum!! Sheesh, caint git enuf, eh Frankie? Go to da sports
    muzeum insted!!
                                      Denny

    Yeah, Frankie, goed to da sportz moozeem an take a pitcher a Larreez
    woody an make lotz a copeez to send to all us noterz speshally Dock so
    we cain bow down evry day an wership this grate wite hop!!!!!111
    
    :-)
    
    hwak

Was that Ha'wk, or RCASO?

Where's the Sports Muzeum?  

I've been wanting to go to the computer museum for a while.  When I
first started working, the machine I worked on shoulda been in
a museum (PDP-11/40!).  But I was working for a municipality, so you
know how hard it is to get new and good equipment...
I thought if I went to the computer place, maybe I'd see that old machine 8^)

I like science type stuff, and I'd like to hit the aquarium too, but 
not on Saturday...

Chainsaw_a_TRUE_Renaissence_Man

    'Saw, the Sports Museum is on Soldiers Field Road.  It's across
    the road from WBZ radio and TV, in the general vicinity of Harvard
    Stadium.
    
    John

    C'saw, if you like science, check-out the "Laserium" laser light show
    at the planetarium in the Science Museum.  The laser lights are done
    "live" to certain types of music, depending on what's scheduled at what
    time.  I know that 2 of the shows are (1) The Music of Pink Floyd and
    (2) The Music of the Late '60s.  Guarenteed you'll be entertained.....
    
    Hawk

H'a'wk...

I've seen those before.  They used to do it in Ct, in the Planetarium
at the Children's Museum in W. Hartford.  It was great.  You kind of
lean back, space a lot, and check out them lasers.

Kind of reminds me of my wild days, when Dennis Hopper and I road
across the US....too cool...

C'saw

    'Saw,
    
    If you are in a pinch you can park at the lower level of the Days
    Inn for free.  It's located right next to the Riverside T Station.
    
    The exit off RT 128/95 is right across from a Roy Rogers restaurant
    and a gas station.  Coming from the south it will be a few miles 
    after you pass the exits for RT9.  You'll see an overpass at the 
    exit and directly to the right will be the Days Inn.

    	Frank, if you're gonna be down by the waterfront, pray for strong
    winds and lots of girls in mini-skirts.
    
    				/Don

Slasher,

You know me too well.  Those are the things I live for.  That and
a good ale, some fine literature, and some good music.  The
sight of a shapely thigh under a mini-skirt on a windy March day,
ranks right up there with Rodin sculpture, Beethoven Symphonies,
Wagnerian Opera, exquisite whisky, Shakespeare, and the surrealistic
art of Salvador Dali....

Pray tell me, what more could a man ask for?

Chainsaw

    Last night my friends and I were playing our usual Wednesday night
    basketball game when a kind of unusual situation occured.  Two teamates
    of mine were at the baseline vying for the rebound.  The ball was
    flying out of bounds and one teamate grabbed it as he was falling out
    of bounds also.  The second teamate grabbed him to prevent him from
    falling out of bounds thus saving the ball.
    
    Question:  Is this legal?
    
    
    								Randy

�    Question:  Is this legal?
    

Depends on where he grabbed him....

    
    And what state you are in.

    	Randy, might be called for travelling.
    
    sean

Yes!  Especially if after grabbing the player he does not
immediately begin dribbling the player....

    Hey guys, it's only Thursday, save it for tomorrow.

Cain't...

Gotta go to a meeting that some bonehead scheduled from 1-5 pm in
Merrimack.

One thing I hate is driving to Merrimack on a Friday afternoon, leaving
at 5pm and getting home in Connecticut after 7pm!  

So, this is my Friday 8^)

'Saw

I'm roollllin.
	ya never know what topic something insane is going to happen with.

Meanwhile, I vote he can grab him (no tongs, though).

Mike JN

    
    Have a Good Friday!  Oops, just checked the calandar and  it ain't
    until April 13th.  Well, have a day.  8^)
    
    

    	ok, here's another miscellaneous question.  say four players
    on a team crowd around the other teammate with the ball like this:
    
    		5
               413   
                2    
    	
    	and they keep passing the ball back and forth between each other
    as they move as a mass towards the basket, never letting the opponents
    get near the ball.  how do you stop them from scoring?
    
    sean

    RE: stop the masses
    
    Easy, use a human wall around the 3pt line and let them either CHARGE
    or put up a 3.
    
    The Wizard

    A land mine comes to mind...
    

�       how do you stop them from scoring?

               2
              / \
    	     / 5 \
            1 413 3   
             \ 2 /   
    	      \ /
               4
    
    
 sean,

	As you can see, this can easily be accomplished by only four players
holding hands (no giggling). The fifth player is over talking to the
cheerleaders (giggling allowed, no peditums).

Mike JN

    
    	thanks mike, wiz... gotta come up with some new strategies for
    my pee wee team.  this one's my favorite:  the play is called "snoopy"
    (don't ask why, I guess it's easy for them to remember).  In
    the halfcourt offense, when the point guard yells "Snoopy!", all
    the players besides the point guard dash to the corners of the court.
    Since it's one on one defense, the four defenders follow and that
    leaves a one on one situation for our all star point guard.
    
    	pretty cool huh?  8^)
    
    sean

    RE: Sean
    
    Yeah that'll *really* improve the teams ability 8^)
    Why don't you *draft* a 7 footer and just lop the ball to him under
    the hoop all day 8^)
    
    Seriously, I found that with the younger teams things like the pick
    and roll almost always work.  However, when I was younger (and thought
    I knew everything, turns out I was wrong, but now I do) a double
    pick and roll was fun to execute and way just as successful, sometimes
    moreso because then the defense wouldn't know who to cover.  Have
    player A place a pick, player B rolls around him, stops, player
    A rolls back around player B, gets the ball, player B goes towards
    basket and player A passes to player B.  This always left one double
    teamed and one open, and sometimes make a triple team with two open
    players.
    
    The Wizard

I got double teamed by two luscious blondes one night...

Unbelievable how I picked and rolled, picked and rolled....

Yeeee-hah!
Chainsaw

    Must've been one hellacious fahrvergnugen, eh Chainsaw?  :-)
    
    H'awk

================================================================================
Note 79.184                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 184 of 215
CUPTAY::TESSIER "UConn Huskies: the magic continues" 12 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:14
                            -< Doctor in trouble? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This has nothing to do with sports, but I thought that since this 
conference has a large number of noters from Colorado that this would
be a good place to ask my question.  

I saw a tiny blurb in the paper today that said the famous Gonzo journalist
and all-around sportsman Hunter Thompson would soon be going on trial in 
Aspen for sexual assault and drug charges.  This is the first I've heard of
it.  Could someone please fill in the details?

Thanks in advance,

Laker_Ken
================================================================================
Note 79.185                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 185 of 215
COOKIE::MJOHNSTON "WON MAN ISS NO TOO BLAM! YUO AR!" 17 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole Hunter never quits. Some female type person who was staying with him filed
charges. She said he yelled at her and twisted her baboobska. So she told the
cops he used drugs. I'm sure the cops were totally astonished. Thompson has
never NOT used drugs, and they know it. So anyway, they got a warrant, and
searched, and found such a miniscule amount that a chipmunk fart would have
blown it all away. So he'll be going to trial. He's said he's thinking of
moving to the wilds of Montana, or somewhere.... that Aspen is getting too
`crowded'.

There's something about people like Hunter Thompson, Keith Richards, etc.
I'm not saying their lives are admirable, just remarkable.
Health nuts like Jim Fixx, Euell Gibbons, et al keel over and die.
These guys are shooting dope into their eyeballs, drinking two quarts of booze
a day, party like the world is gonna end tomorrow...
and they just keep on keepin' on.

Mike JN
================================================================================
Note 79.186                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 186 of 215
RIPPLE::DEVLIN_JO "You find one in every car..."      9 lines  21-MAR-1990 14:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ken and Mike,
    
    I read about the charges a while back.  There was a classic Hunter
    comeback about the woman who filed charges, but I caint remember
    it right now.
    
    I saw him 'live' last April in Somerville, Ma.  Interesting evening.
    
    JD
================================================================================
Note 79.187                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 187 of 215
BOXTOP::ROBINSON "knowledge is good"                  7 lines  21-MAR-1990 15:02
               -< fear and loathing on the college trail '88... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    > I saw him 'live' last April in Somerville, Ma. Interesting evening.
    
    I saw him a few years back in college and he was incoherant.  One of
    the radical right wingers laid into him and he couldn't even respond.
    It ended up being an argument between factions of the audience...
    
    Completely absurd...
================================================================================
Note 79.188                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 188 of 215
PNO::HEISER "save a tree, go CD"                      6 lines  21-MAR-1990 15:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Re: Keith Richards
    
    Ever see the "Keith Richards Workout Video"?
    
    You could party like him too if you had a blood transfusion everytime
    you went to Canada or Japan!
================================================================================
Note 79.189                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 189 of 215
DECXPS::TIMMONS "I'm a Pepere!"                       7 lines  22-MAR-1990 05:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mike, what about Jimmy Hendrix and Janis Joplin and others of that
    ilk?  Weren't they in their thirties or so when they died?
    
    Lee
    
    Oh yeah, how old was Ewell Gibbons when he died?  He looked about
    a thousand, but I never heard his age.
================================================================================
Note 79.190                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 190 of 215
7983::RIEU "In search of...Mr Trout!"                 5 lines  22-MAR-1990 06:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       I remember seeing Ol Ewell on the Tonight show once. Johnny asked
    him, "So, do you ever east anytjing besides nuts and tree bark?"
    Ewell: "Hey, I like a pizza now and then!"
       Musta been that now and then that got him.
                                   Denny
================================================================================
Note 79.191                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 191 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"          20 lines  22-MAR-1990 08:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re Mike JN --

Don't knock shooting drugs into your eyeballs until you've tried it.
Whatta rush...  I do that, drink three quarts of whisky a day, and
run 2-3 miles daily (gotta stay in good shape ya know)....


Re Hendrix --

I believe Jimi Hendrix was 29 when he died, but I might be wrong (BUT KNOT
TOO BLAM!)...  The world lost a great guitarist and musical mind the
day that man died...

re Euell Gibbons --

An autopsy revealed the remains of Five (5) California redwoods in
his digestive track.  Quite simply, the man binged himself to death...


Chainsaw
================================================================================
Note 79.192                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 192 of 215
PNO::HEISER "save a tree, go CD"                     11 lines  22-MAR-1990 08:30
                             -< modern technology >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Re Hendrix --
>
>I believe Jimi Hendrix was 29 when he died, but I might be wrong (BUT KNOT
>TOO BLAM!)...  The world lost a great guitarist and musical mind the
>day that man died...
    
    He was doing things back in the '60s that today's average guitarist
    uses a multieffect processor to emulate.
    
    Mike
    
================================================================================
Note 79.193                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 193 of 215
LEVERS::STROUT "the last day of our acquaintance..."  5 lines  22-MAR-1990 08:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    	Hendrix would have been the pioneer of jazz fusion if he had
    lasted.  He was heavily into jazz right before he died.  I believe
    he was 29, also.
    
    sean
================================================================================
Note 79.194                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 194 of 215
CUPTAY::TESSIER "UConn Huskies: the magic continues"  5 lines  22-MAR-1990 08:55
          -< He gargles with Wild Turkey first thing in the morning. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for the info. on the Thompson case.  Sounds like much ado about
nothing.  I'm sure Hunter will get off easily, but I wonder if they're
taking up a collection for him down at his favorite bar.

Laker_Ken
================================================================================
Note 79.195                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 195 of 215
GENRAL::GIBSON                                       31 lines  22-MAR-1990 10:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Hendrix died at 26.
    
    
    RE: HST
    
    HST claims this woman came to his house selling "dildos" and other 
    sex paraphernalia. (That quote was in the paper). He said she was 
    extremely drunk and obnoxious. He told her to leave and as she was
    stumbling around he accidently brushed her breast.
    
    She claims she came to his house to try and get an interview. That
    HST tried to get her to jump into his hot tub with him nude. When she
    refused, he grabbed and twisted her breast. HST denies this. He said,
    (paraphrased) "I wouldn't touch that ugly bitch with a 10 foot pole".
    (That too was in the paper, believe it or not).
    
    The woman left and came back with the cops to charge him with sexual
    assault. So going along with George Bush's "War on the US Constitution"
    they decided to search his house (maybe they thought he was hiding some
    sexuals to assualt or something). They found a very small amount of
    drugs, guns (it wasn't mentioned if they were legally owned or not),
    and a box of blasting caps. After the, what should be ruled, illegal
    search and seizure he was charged with the sexual assault, weapons
    charges (the old guilty until he can prove it is legal), explosive
    charges (blasting caps), and the drug charges. The drug charges, at
    least, are expected to be dropped because the amount was so small all
    of it would be destroyed to test it. 
    
                                                   HOOT
    
================================================================================
Note 79.196                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 196 of 215
COOKIE::MJOHNSTON "WON MAN ISS NO TOO BLAM! YUO AR!" 14 lines  22-MAR-1990 10:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
� re Euell Gibbons --
� An autopsy revealed the remains of Five (5) California redwoods in
� his digestive track.  Quite simply, the man binged himself to death...

	I'm rollin' Frank. Gluttony is a terrible thing! In fact, I think
Gluttony is one of the Seven Deadly Sins! I think the others were:
Sleepy
Dopey 
Poopsie
Bashful
Buffy and
Dock

Mike JN
================================================================================
Note 79.198                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 198 of 215
COOKIE::MJOHNSTON "WON MAN ISS NO TOO BLAM! YUO AR!" 14 lines  22-MAR-1990 10:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOOT,

	You received a much better report than I did! I believe Hunter. Tipsy
women are always stumbling around and trying to rub themselves on me. 
                   (I tolerate it, but it's sure no fun!).

	Unless he was hoarding machine guns or howitzers, I don't think a gun
can be illegally owned in Colorado, can it?

If they do more than just give him a fine, I think we should dress up like
Indians, and rush up there and throw tea in their hot tubs!

Mike JN

================================================================================
Note 79.199                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 199 of 215
CUPTAY::TESSIER "UConn Huskies: the magic continues"  6 lines  22-MAR-1990 10:47
                      -< What, no landmines and ether?! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dildos and blasting caps!  This just keeps getting funnier and funnier.
I'm really proud to hear that Hunter is still up for this type of activity
at his age.  Please keep us abreast of the latest details as this case
unfolds.  :)

Laker_Ken
================================================================================
Note 79.200                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 200 of 215
9385::CRITZ "Who'll win the TdF in 1990?"            10 lines  22-MAR-1990 10:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    	RE: 79.189
    
    	Lee,
    
    	You musta meant Janis Ian. I saw Janis Joplin on PBS the
    	other night in concert.
    
    	I like JJ's singing.
    
    	Scott
================================================================================
Note 79.201                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 201 of 215
PNO::HEISER "save a tree, go CD"                      4 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>    	You musta meant Janis Ian. I saw Janis Joplin on PBS the
>    	other night in concert.
    
    You mean Janis is still alive!?!?!  Does she know where Elvis is?!?!
================================================================================
Note 79.202                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 202 of 215
7983::RIEU "In search of...Mr Trout!"                 4 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     > Musta meant Janis Ian
    
       I think it was actaully Ian Anderson he was referring to.
                                      Denny
================================================================================
Note 79.203                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 203 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"          32 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:11
                        -< And that's the way it is... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look, if I tell you guys this, can you keep it quiet?

Back up behind my house, in the woods beyond the cow pasture, is
a really nice log cabin.  Elvis, Adolf Hitler, Janis Joplin, and
Jimmy Hoffa all stay there for long periods.  It's kind of a
way station....

Jimmy Hoffa thinks it's hysterical that people think he's buried
in Giants stadium.  Actually, right now, he runs the mail order
business for Cal-Ban 3000....you know, lose weight by taking these
pills that swell in your stomach.

Adolf is cool.  Well, to be honest he is a little bizarre, and he
has this nasty prediliction for trying to roast cats in the campstove
oven, but beyond that he's not too bad.  He is thrilled as all get out
about the reunification, and he wants to call up some politicos if
he can figure out a way to do it.

Janis...man can she wail the blues.  We got into a rockin' jam session
a few weeks back...  She actually is the voice behind Prince. Prince's
mouth moves, Janis' voice comes out.  All of the top studio execs think
she's really a bag lady from New York...

Elvis...the King.  Despises the fact that the other dude took his name.
Amuses himself by breaking firewood with his hands, and likes to check
out some of the comely farm lasses in the area.  When he and Janis
get rockin', lemme tell ya....

Jimi really did die though...

You heard it here first,
Chainsaw
================================================================================
Note 79.204                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 204 of 215
SASE::SZABO "Channel Z, all static, all day, forever" 5 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey Chainsaw, nexted batch of 'shrooms shouldn't ferment for so long.....
    
    HTH.  :-)
    
    H'awk
================================================================================
Note 79.205                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 205 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"          28 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Hawk....

Listen.  Lemme tell ya.  This is the way it happened:

	I was walking in the woods one day with the wolf.  Suddenly
	I hear this voice:  "If you build it, they will come".

	I'm saying to myself, man, you gotta stop shooting horse
	into your eyeballs.  But like this voice is all talking
	to me again.

	So, I go out there every night after work, and like start
	building this cabin.  I mean, it's pretty nice, wif a hot
	tub and all (no dildos though).

	Well, nexted thing you know, this little balding guy, white
	hair, shrimpy little moustache shows up.  He farts a alot, 
	and has a thick accent.  Kinda scared me at first.  But
	he painted the inside of the place, and hung out till
	Elvis showed.  Then they started talking about music. 

	The short guy like oom-pah music, you know, like from the
	Hofbrau Haus.  Elvis...well, Elvis is THE KING, you know...

So, hey, Hawkster...  C'mon down to my place.  We'll take a walk out
there and I'll show ya...

Chainsaw
================================================================================
Note 79.206                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 206 of 215
SASE::SZABO "Channel Z, all static, all day, forever" 5 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:51
             -< send some up to Yellow Brick Road, willya?  :-)  >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Like I said, C'saw, them 'shrooms been fermenting way too long.....
    
    :-)
    
    H'awk
================================================================================
Note 79.207                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 207 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"           3 lines  22-MAR-1990 11:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For you

and Toto too....
================================================================================
Note 79.208                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 208 of 215
MCIS1::DHAMEL "Is Nothing Sacred?"                    4 lines  22-MAR-1990 12:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    I'd love to pay a visit to that cabin, but Jim Morrison is comin'
    over fer the weekend.
    
================================================================================
Note 79.209                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 209 of 215
9385::CRITZ "Who'll win the TdF in 1990?"            12 lines  22-MAR-1990 12:28
                       -< Whaddaya expect fer nuthin'? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    	Well, I have to apologize. My cohorts here at work inform
    	me that Janis Joplin died years ago, although no one
    	knows when for sure.
    
    	Some of them even had the nerve to say I was out of 
    	touch. Actually, I'm an opera/classical music fan.
    
    	PBS did, however, have Janis Joplin in concert the
    	other night. I just assumed it was recent.
    
    	Humbly,
    	Scott
    

================================================================================
Note 79.210                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 210 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"          11 lines  22-MAR-1990 12:48
                    -< Yesterday was J.S. Bach's Birthday! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott --

No need to apologize....Hell, I was talkin' with Richard Wagner
just lasted week...;^)


'Saw

PS  If you know where I can pick up a full CD set of The Ring operas
    (or any of the individuals, not just excerpts) shoot me some
    VAXmail, okay?
================================================================================
Note 79.211                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 211 of 215
STAR::YANKOWSKAS "Orioles in 1990"                   10 lines  22-MAR-1990 13:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .210:

    >	 PS  If you know where I can pick up a full CD set of The Ring operas
    >	 (or any of the individuals, not just excerpts) shoot me some
    >    VAXmail, okay?

    'Saw, you might want to ask in CITZEN::CLASSICAL_MUSIC.

         
    py
================================================================================
Note 79.212                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 212 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"           5 lines  22-MAR-1990 13:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks Paul...

I might give that try...

'Saw
================================================================================
Note 79.213*                Official Sports.JOKE note                 213 of 215
CSC32::GAULKE                                        10 lines  22-MAR-1990 13:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
     There's another one over on node INSMNIA::
    
    Hit KP7  etc.
    
    
    Steven
    
    
================================================================================
Note 79.214                 Official Sports.JOKE note                 214 of 215
CAM::WAY "And death shall have no dominion"           9 lines  22-MAR-1990 13:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
�     There's another one over on node INSMNIA::
                                       ^^^^^^^^


So tell me Steven...how is it you're running DECnet Phase V
already???? ;^)
    
    

================================================================================
Note 79.215*                Official Sports.JOKE note                 215 of 215
PNO::HEISER "save a tree, go CD"                      8 lines  22-MAR-1990 15:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>So tell me Steven...how is it you're running DECnet Phase V
>already???? ;^)
    
    You mean they actually got it to work!?
    
    Another pointer for the Ring operas, hit kp7
    
    Mike
    

    Please, if you are going to stray off the subject, at least put it in
    the right topic.
    
    Thanks

    But Mac, we ALWAYS stray off the subject.  :*)
    
    Lee

I've created a new conference called STRAYING.  Press KP7 to add it.  The only
rule is you can't enter a reply that has anything to do with the topic.  I'm
only afraid it will make this file obsolete.

j.

    Heard this one last night ... Name the 4 players who joined the
    Celtics AFTER they had won a scoring title..
    I can only think of three...
    
    Archibald
    Pistol Pete Marivich
    Boob Mcadoo
    
         REK

Dave Bing is the other one.

Mike

    Anyone know who won the NCAA Wrestling Tournament last weekend?
    
    Also, does anyone know how many times Oklahoma State has won the
    tournament?
    
    Need to know.
    
    Cowboy
    

Here are the Compose Characters (press the Compose key to start each
sequence; can change case on accented characters):

Key       Key        Result
---       ---        ------
 !         !           �
 C         /           �
 S         O           �
 L         -           �
 Y         -           �
 O         X           �
 P         !           �
 C         O           �
 <         <           �
 >         >           �
 +         -           �
 /         U           �
 ^         .           �
 0         ^           �
 A         _           �
 O         _           �
 ^         1           �
 ^         2           �
 ^         3           �
 1         4           �
 1         2           �
 a         '           �            
 a                     �                   
 a         ^           �
 a         ~           �
 a         "           �
 a         *           �
 A         E           �
 c         ,           � 
 s         s           �
 n         ~           �
 O         E           �
 y         "           �

- all accents used on the vowel "a" above can also be used on the remaining
vowels (e, i, o, u)

    Thanks, Mike!
    
    Alas, I feel that I am now a technoweenie!
    
    �H�wk

Hawkster....

Bow down on one knee.  I, acting as the Royal Ugly Dude of Technoweeniedom,
do hereby, and forsooth, decree, and bestow upon you, the title of
Technoweenie.  Arise, Sir Hawk, and go forth to compose characters,
modify video characteristics, and change line parameters for the good
of all Technoweenies everywhere.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

Chainsaw

                                                      
    Back off, 'saw.  I coined the term technoweenie, and therefore am
    the Archbishop of Technoweeniedom.  I also have a hard and steadfast
    rule on what one must accomplish to be dubbed a technoweenie: anyone
    who knows more than the Archbishop is one.        
                                                      
    Hawkster, you have joined the darkside of the force and are now
    a technoweenie of the Lower Order  (you only know a couple more
    compose characters than I do).  Be carefully as you travel through
    the Valley of Microcode, you have much to learn (like how to type
    off the end of the screen so only little diamonds show, like Dan
    Schneider does) and it is a path filled with bugs.
                                                     
    'saw it's a good thing you said you were only acting, or else I
    would let loose my uneducated masses yearning to beat you freely.
         
    Archbishop Bruce I
         

    >......type off the end of the screen ....... like Dan does......
    
    Absolutely rollward, Bruce!  I often wonder how Dan does that, but it's
    fun guessing at those mysterious words.....  :-)
    
    Hawk, Technoweenie of the Lowest Order
    

Back off yourself, O Bishop of DIS-May....

I recognize no religious authority.  Unleash the masses...for I will
only bend them to MY Will.  

They will inundate you with Macro and with truly portable C code until
you plead for a plague of a thousand years of locusts upon your terminal.

I will make your LAT packets tremble with the greatest fear, and truly
transform you entire universe into the Hell of All-in-1 Mail at 300
baud...

One who possesses the knowledge, and who grows, can far surpass the
inventor, much like the child who's power extends beyond his father.
Yes, the force if Technoweeniedom is strong within me....

Step to the line, and accept the challenge if you dare, else yield
to me, The Black Knight of Technoweeniedom, you miserable piece of
worm doo-doo....

I have spoken....
Chainsaw

>They will inundate you with Macro and with truly portable C code until
    
    Talk about oxymorons!

                                                      
>    Hawkster, you have joined the darkside of the force and are now
 
Allright Hawk!!  Another RAIDER fan!!!!

Monty  ;^)

�                    -< which Unix are we using this week? >-


I prefer to use American born and bred eunuchs to guard my harem.
First off, they understand baseball, and can converse rather eloquently
on the subject wif the girls...

Hpe thie shleps...
Chainsaw

    Toooooooooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccchhhhhh!!!!
    
    
    
    HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA
    
    
    
    Loved the dInZ CadEnSe.....
    
    
    					Tom

    I've been looking to buy a decent baseball bat, for a couple weeks now. 
    My first preference is wood (purist and cheaper), but aluminum
    outnumbers wood at least 4-1 in the typical department stores
    (Bradlees, Caldors, Lechmere, etc.), which means, there isn't much of a
    selection between the woods.  First of all, why is it that wood bats
    are no longer laquered along the handle?  I'd never seen this before.
    What, am I supposed to finish it myself with Minwax (stain it the color
    of my choice)?  Am I supposed to wrap tape around it?  What if I don't
    like the feel of tape?  I like the feel of laquer on wood!
    
    Looks like I'll have to go to a sporting goods store, and hopefully,
    they got a good selection of wood bats.......
    
    Also, if wood bats are so expensive to make, and these aluminum bats
    are being mass-produced, then why are wood bats ~$10 and aluminum bats
    at least $19?
    
    H�wk

    Hawkster,
    
    Are you looking for a baseball or softball bat.  I know you said
    baseball but with you being a little "loose around the edges"
    and all....  Anyway, in my completely biased opinion, if you get
    an aluminum bat, buy an Easton.  If you get a woody, take a cold
    shower, er, I mean get a good ole Louisville Slugger.  BTW, I've
    never seen an Easton for $19.  You musta been looking at some
    *budget* bats.  
    
    Claybone
    
    ps  an aluminum bat will probably last alot longer....not many
        of them break!

    Hawk,
    
    >Glad to hear yo are buying a wood bat.  Aluminan bats are a bane
    on very moral fabric of American Society.  This great nation slipped
    towards the abyss of mediocrity when the aluminim bat found it's
    way into the hands of our youths and beer-bellied softball players.
    I used one once, and the sickening ping when I hit the ball caused
    me to freeze at the plate - where was the sweet sound - the 'crack'
    of the bat?  Aluminum bats should only be used in domes on artificial
    turf!!!!
    
    When I see an aluminum tree growing out in the wild, I'll use an
    aluminum bat.  Til then, the natural, AMERICAN, bat - the all WOOD
    bat will be my weapon of choice.
    
    If you love this great nation - if you respect AMERICA and it's
    culture - you'll buy a wooden bat.
    
    
    "glory, glory, glory, hallaluyuh..."
    
    Sarge

Hawk --

I like Louisville Slugger.   Some peopl prefer to carry mace, 
others prefer to carry a Smith & Wesson.  For my money, nothing
is more satisfying that connecting with a cranium with my
friend Loius!

Seriously, ain't nothing like wood.  For baseball or protection.

Hope this helps...
Chainsaw


PS  Speaking of "cranium" I loved it in Wrasslemania VI when 
    Gorilla kept talking about guys softening up the cranium.
    I wasn't aware that could happen...

    Speaking of Rasslin'mania - anyone who saw it care to give a rundown.
    No - I won't go to the rasslin notes file - I just wanna know the
    results.
    
    JD

    Ah, I meanted to give my purpose for the bat in question......
    
    I need a bat for BOTH softball and baseball.  My daughter's in a girls
    softball league, and my son's in T-ball Little League.  I'd rather not
    buy 2 bats.  If it was only for softball, I wouldn't mind an aluminum
    so much (softer ping), but the thought of the ping off an aluminum
    bat's "sweet spot" from a hard ball makes my ears hurt already!
    
    I'd still like to know if I have to finish a wooden bat handle myself! 
    :-)
    
    H�wk

    Not many bats are approved for both. Your son's bat MUST say
    "Little League Approved". Check with your daughters league and see
    what type of bat they allow. HTH, Rich
    

    Remember-- pine tar only goes up 18" on the handle! Ask George (Brett
    or Steinbrenner)
    
    8*)
    
    ...mike
    

    Remembering waaaaaay back when I played Girl's Softball (I coulda
    been a contender....), I think we used almost any kind of bat. 
    There were mostly metal bats, but I think some of the team used
    wooden bats.  I could have used a side of a barn and not hit a derned
    thing, but that's another tale.
    
    My point is that perhaps you simply need a bat for the more restrictive
    Little League, and you can go with that.
    
    ---kim

    Yo Mr. Red, White, and Blue (aka Sarge)
    
    "beer-bellied softball players...".  I play competitive softball.
    You won't find no steeeenking beer-bellied boys on our roster.
    We also use aluminum bats.  Aluminum is just as *natural* as a tree.
    Besides, have your ever heard the sound of a softball off of a
    wooden bat?  It kinda goes "FWOP".  Now, I agree that wooden bats
    should be used in baseball.  Nothin' like the crisp CRACK you hear
    when somebody connects with a hardball.  But, leave us softballers
    outa this.  Besides, I don't wanna go back and put a bunch of
    asterisks by my homeruns :^)
    
    ...his truth is marching OOOOOOOOOOOON!...
    
    Claybone

    Frank will back me up on this one.  Squawk, if you were a *real*
    man, you'd pack in a cheekful of Red Man and saunter down to the
    nearest hickory tree with McCulloch in haind.
    
    After you've knock the tree down, proceed to unfold your favorite
    Eagle buck knife and proceed to whittle yourself a woodie.
    
    Real men would defoliate an entire forest in search of the right
    "grip".
    
    Mark.

    Not too many people use woodies for softball(s). See, they got
    no "jump" in 'em. Only wussy little girly-mons use wood fer
    softball. Know why? Cause they caint hit anyway!!! Softballs hit
    with wood go "pfft", and drop just behind the pitchers mound. 
    				Rich
    

Hi H`awk,

	Some youth leagues do not allow wooden bats ( I think because of the
possibility of the bat breaking and injuring someone. )

	For T-Ball, they'd probably let him use a softball bat. No league I've
ever heard of will let you use a hardball bat in softball. Maybe you could
settle for a softball bat for both for this year, and pick up a hardball bat
nexted year (if he still wants to play).

	I'd recommend when you get the bat, take the kids along, let `em swing
it, and watch them. Fathers especially like to get their kids a bat that is
more on the heavy side. It has been my experience that bat speed is a much
bigger factor than weight in determining how far they'll be able to hit the
ball. Get something that they can really snap around, and they'll be much
better hitters.

Mike JN

PS - if you're going aluminum... I always liked the BOMBAT. FAT on the end,
with a skinny little handle. You can really snap that sucker around. By the
time bat meets ball, it's moving near the speed of light.

    Hurumph - wood is the only way to go - no matter what you are playing.
    Aluminum gives unnatural power to softball - massaging the egos
    fo those who caint hit with a real bat.   Why not just make the
    ball out of superball material, uses aluminum bats, and hit the
    ball a few hunred yards every time.  
    
    A bat comes from wood which was once alive - that's what makes it
    special.  An aluminum bat comes from stuff dug outta the ground,
    processed, molded and painted unsightly colors.  A commie plot,
    aluminum bats are.  A commie plot.
    
    "If wood bats are outlawed, only outlaws will have aluminum bats!"
    
    The aluminum bat is worse than astroturf, worse than the Designated
    Gimmick (tm), worse than domed stadiums, worse than Brent Mussburger!!
    
    Be real, be natural - wood, reall bats for real people!
    
    JD

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!111(tm)  You gals and guys are too funny!
    
    Now, for the fiftieth time :-), THE BAT IS FOR *M�*.  Ahma gonna use it
    for hitting to the kids- softball for my female offspring, and baseball
    for the boy that I'm proud to say came from these loins......  :-)
    
    I do kinda like the idea of whittlin' my own woodie!
    
    H�wk

Re Wrasslemania:

	Brutus the Barber tarnished Mr Perfect's "Perfect" record
	Demolotion regained the Tag Team strap as the Colostomy
		Connection bit the big one.  Andre and Heenan had
		a big fight and Andre turned good.
	Ultimate Warrior beat Hogan cleanly and is no the IC and world
		champ


Re Lufay's idea:

	Yes, I agree wholeheartedly.  Why, one time, I was out looking
	for a woodie, and lightening hit this tree, then nexted thing
	you know I was usin' my Stihl to shape me a woodie.  Then,
	I took it home and wif my Acme Woodburning Set I burnt me
	a lightenin' bolt into the handle.  Nexted thing you know
	I wuz hittin' em' like there was no tomorrow, but *naturally*
	that's another story....

Re Cranium Crackin':

	Louisville Sluggers are the only bat Chainsaw Approved for
	Cranium Crackin....


HTH
'Saw

    Hulkster got beat?  My whole world has just come crashing down <sniff>
    
    Whaddya mean unnatural Sarge?  Let's see, trees come from the ground
    and they make wood bats out of them.  Aluminuminuminuminum comes from
    the ground, and they make aluminum bats out of it.  What's the diff?
    I suppose you drink beer out of wooden cans too eh?
    
    Claybone_the_ego_massagin'_softballin'_aluminum_bigot   8-)

    Clay,
    
    Beer hasn't been the same since they replaced the ol' wooden keg
    wif the aluminum one, giving us such tasty brews as Meister Brau!
    
    A tree is a tree is an embodiment of life and soul and nature.
    Aluminum is an embodiment of a mechanized, pollution filled, communis'
    society!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Wooden bats, wooden bats, everyone, wooden bats, wooden bats!!!
    wooden bats!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    JD

H`onk

	uh... I mean H`awk.

	Now I know why they call you the great communicator!

	If you're just getting the damned bat for yourself... Why are you
asking all these dumb questions!!!!!!!

	Wood... Louisville Slugger... 34 or 36 inch.... No contest!

PS - Make the little Hawksters get in FRONT of the ball!

Mike JN

    JD (McCarthy),
    
    You remember beer out of a wooden keg huh?  You're much older
    than I thought!
    
    True, true, I think that I shall never see....But, the use of
    aluminum for bats has saved many of our beloved trees from being
    massacred just so that you can enjoy your precious *fwoppy* noise
    when you hit a softball.  Besides, it took GOOD OLE 'MERICAN
    KNOW-HOW AND INJUNUITY to develop aluminum for use in bats, beer
    cans, and beer kegs.  What could drip with red, white, and blue
    pride more than that I ask ye.  So there, aluminum is not a commie
    plot Joe, er, I mean JD.  It is a shining eggzample of what this
    great nation stands for!  Not only that, but it is recyclable.
    You can't replace trees.  I shudder to think that many helpless,
    big brown-eyed, cute, animal babies lose their homes to the logging
    industry.  The tree murderers....the home wreckers!
    
    SAVE OUR TREES!  SAVE OUR TREES!  SAVE OUR TREES! (eat a beaver, heh
    heh)
    
    Claybone

    Chainsaw, who was the bad guy in the UW-Hulk match, or were they both
    good guys?  Was it a pretty clean bout?  Did either one turn out bad in
    the end (now a bad guy)?
    
    Inquiring, God-fearing, dog-loving, beer-infested minds want to know. :-)
    
    H�wk

    
    	H�wk, here's a little on the match.  Vinnie set it up perfectly
    to measure the audiences reactions.  UW was pinned for a 3 count
    FIRST, BUT unfortunately the ref was unconscious, the fans were
    going wyld!  Then UW pinned HH I believe after that and the crowd
    was still wyld (no bad guys in this match).
    	In the end, HH went, got hs belt, handed it to UW, raised his
    hand in the air to declare him as the ne WWF Champion and then they
    embraced.  Thus, Hulkamania will live forever
    
    	I went through several boxes of aloe tissues on this match alone!
    
    sean

    >>  Hulkster got beat?  My whole world has just come crashing down <sniff>
    
    
    Don't cry Claybone.  Read today that the Hulkster IS NOT retiring.
    
    What that means is that the WWF's Hair-Brained Scheme Committee is hard
    at work on Wrasslemaniacs V and they'll choreograph Hulk back to the
    champeenship then.
    
    
    JaKe
    

    
    	Jake, make that Wrestlemania VII!!  GET WITH THE POGRAM! 8^)
    
    sean

    Re: HULK
    
    Supposedly, the word was out last Thursday that the HULK was going to
    take the pipe against the WARRIOR because his wife is ready to deliver
    a baby, and he's got some type of business commitments.  He'll be back
    in a month or so.
    
    					Steve

    Re.222
    
    B*tch B*tch B*tch
    
    Been in classes all week and the Bass Ale is getting to what little of
    my brain is left.  Need to get back home and clear the cobwebs with
    some good old Iron City.
    
    Sorry
    
    JaKe_who_lost_trak_of_wrasslemaniac_roman_numerals_beers_ago
    
    

   >  Don't cry Claybone.  Read today that the Hulkster IS NOT retiring.
    
    That caint be right!  The National Enquirer (or similar rag) had
    printed right on the front page that he is retiring to become a
    TV PREACHER.  If we caint trust the written word we are lost soles
    doomed to hover at high altitudes until this has become fack!  Surely
    the Reverend Hulk won't keep us aloft.
    
    Get yur checkbooks out and on yo knees bro's
    
    Brother Cowboy

    Now Brother Clay - remember, up in the Spacific Norfwest, Timber
    is king, and while I'll fight to preserve our old growth, wood bats
    are much more American than Aluminum.   Wooden bats don't litter,
    aluminum cans do!@!!  
    
    I love trees I love wood I love America and Motherhood
    Bats stand for AMerica, Wooden bats that is, or course
    To use an aluminum bat is the cause for much remorse
    The manly crack of the bat is what we want to hear!
    While sitting in the son, with hotdogs and beer
    The aluminum bat - with it's wimpy 'ping'
    Is a kind of immoral blight on the American thing! 
    Yes, save a tree, but not to make aluminum the king
    For aluminum is for siding, not for the sport of homers and sliding
    So in thine quest for the perfect bat
    Remember, wood is where it is at.
    
    JD

    re.225
    
    Cmon, if you believe those moronic rags, you must also believe that the
    wrasslin dun by the bozos in the WWF isn't all choreographed and set-up
    way in advance and FAKE, and I've got some oceanfront property in
    Oklahomee to sell yee.
    
    JaKe
    
    P.S.  What would the Hulksters way of getting people to give him $$$
    be??  
    
    Hulk:  "Either send me money or I'll beat theSLOF out of you
    pipsqueak!!"
    
    

    re:-1
    That was reeeal nice JD.  I don't see the problem with using
    the trees.  They're our only *renewable natural resource*, right?
    As long as they're not abused and replaced with seedlings then
    what's the problem?
    
    An owner of 3 *plastic* bats
    
    Cowboy
    

    re: believe the rags.....
    
    I believe that Arnold Schwarzenneggar took money from wealthy gays.
    
    I believe that there are pistol packing pygmies.
    
    I believe in Dolly Parton's breasts, all both of them.
    
    What isn't there to believe?
    
    :-)
    
    H�wk

    > Cmon, if you believe those moronic rags, you must also believe that the
    > wrasslin dun by the bozos in the WWF isn't all choreographed and set-up
    > way in advance and FAKE, and I've got some oceanfront property in
    > Oklahomee to sell yee.
    
    
    Because of how those bozos can get a crowd fired up is why Hulk
    could really rake in the $$$ as a TV preacher.  He already has
    a following.  All he has to do is tell em to open up their hearts
    dump out their pockets.
    
    As to oceanfront property in Oklahoma--aint no way I'd put out $$
    for it.  Oklahoma mountain property, maybe.
    
    Cowboy
    

    re.231
    
    Are YOU interested in some ocean front property in either Oklahomee or
    Colorado?????????????????????????
    
    JaKe
    

    
    re: .226
    
    I think that I shall never see
    A poem as lovely 'bout bats from trees.
    
    That poem warms the cockles of my heart, and if there's one thing
    I can't stand, it's cold cockles.
    
    -Dick
    

    Professional wrestling is the only *truly* honest sport there is.
    
    Professional wrestling has *never* had a dishonesty scandal.
    
    Think about it.
    
    Bob Hunt

    Re wraslin bean the only tru "honest"sport
    
    how can you have scandals and claims of "fix" when the whole thing is
    rigged from the start anyway.
    
    JaKe
    
    

    Esteemed poet JD,
    
    	I thought the only thing that was *king* in the nw was salmon?
    
    	Anyhoo, aluminum cans don't litter, people litter!  But, does
    	this mean we should penalize the vast majority of law abidin'
    	citizens because of the very few who abuse the scenic beauty
    	of our U.S. of A.?  I think not!
    
    	I would just bet you that ole Abner Doubleday hissef would have
    	chosen aluminum over wood for performance reasons.  Pop into
    	the 20th century dude!  If you had it your way, we'd still be
    	using those original baseballs that were the equivalent of a
    	miniature bean bag.  This country is great today because of our
    	technological prowess.  The aluminum bat is a shining example of
    	our ability to further technology and simultaneously live in 
    	harmony with nature by not ravaging our beautiful forests.
    
    Yours in brotherhood,
    
    Claybone

   � Re wraslin bean the only tru "honest"sport
   � 
   � how can you have scandals and claims of "fix" when the whole thing is
   � rigged from the start anyway.
    
    That's exactly my point.   Remember that I said "truly" honest.  
    If it is widely known and well accepted long before the fact that
    the outcome is pre-determined, how in the world can it be
    dishonest ???
    
    It's not "rigged"; it's "choreographed" ...
    
    The other so-called "honest" sports suffer periodically from
    "dishonesty" scandals like Pete Rose's ordeal and the NC State
    point-shaving allegations.
    
    Why ???   Because they are supposed to be honest but can never be
    whereas professional wrestling is "honest" up front.   It is not
    competition, it is pre-determined entertainment.
    
    Bob Hunt

    Gotta agree with you on this one, JD.  Nuttin like a wood bat. 
    I got fond memories of my first bat, an Adirondack.  My Dad bought
    it for me, and off I went to play ball.  Guess I was 8 or 9 or
    somethin.
    
    Anyway, he had taught be how to hold the bat so that I wouldn't
    break it.  First game ever, just a pick-up game, and a bigger kid
    wanted to use my bat.  I let him, and damn if that jerk didn't crack
    it!!!  I was heartbroken.  Dad got out his drill, screwdriver and
    black tape.  Fixed it up pretty good, and I NEVER EVER loaned that
    bat to anyone.  Used it for a long time, until I outgrew it.
    
    Hawk, there's an article in Yankee magazine about a guy who makes
    custom wooded bats.  Tell him what model that you want, he has over
    300 masters, and he'll turn it out on his lathe.  Even brand your
    name in it for a few more bucks.
    
    America, America, God shed his grace on thee,
    And crown thy good with brotherhood, 
    from tree to shining tree.
    
    Lee

The neat thing about wood is that it interacts with you as a player.

Over time, as you handle a wood bat, perhaps rubbing it down with
a bone as Yaz did, or just the everyday picking it up, handling it,
putting it down, the oils from your hands, the true sweat of an
honest day's labor, and the almost loving caress of knowledgable
hands on a baseball bat, leave their mark.

A new bat is almost like a new love.  It's virginal, but over time
becomes shaped to your needs, an extension of your person.

Hitting a round ball with a curved object (and not the paddle used
in cricket) is arguablly one of the hardest things to do in all of
sport.

Approaching the plate, late in the game, runners on first and second,
two out, down by one, late in the season, chasing the pennant, you
step to the plate.  The sure feel of the bat in your hands gives you
confidence and calm.  As the warm embrace of a lover often calms the
cares and worries of a trying day, so the well worn wood of the bat brings
peace.   At that point there are but two men existing in the Universe,
and the most primal, and basic, of all human conflicts turns in the
myriad movements of its dance.

Armed not with a cutlass, but rather a baseball bat, the warrior waits,
confident in his weapon...

That is something no aluminum bat could ever do....

    >> A new bat is almost like a new love.  It's virginal, but over time
    >>  becomes shaped to your needs, an extension of your person.
    
    
    Cmon 'Saw,
    
    That's so beautiful, Ya got me crying at my terminal.
    
    Sniff, Sniff
    
    JaKe
    

    LeE, I'd like a copy of that article about the bat maker.  That sounds
    pretty neat, having my name inscribed on my new woodie!  :-)
    
    H�wk

    Hey C-saw,
    
    
    
    		PUT SOME SYRUP ON THAT WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!
    
    	Geez, I'm gonna get a cavity just reading that....;^)
    
    Claybone

    
    Aw, c'mon, C'bone, that was poetic and bootiful.  Nothing like waxing
    eloquent while rubbing down your woodie with pine tar.
    
    -Dick
    

    The only thing Alimuniminuminuminuminum proponents know how to wax is
    their carrot.
    
    JaKe
    

    Are PHILEM::SAPP (Edwin) and BAUCIS::SAPP (O_J) the same person?
    
    John

    Now, now.  Do I need to splain the dangers of rubbing pine tar
    on your woodies?  I didn't think so.....
    
    You fellas are correct that aluminum has no place in major league
    BASEBALL.  But softball is a different story.  We had no choice
    but to use aluminum cuz they moved the fences back on us and
    started using restricted flight balls.  You try hitting a flippin'
    bean bag 300' with a steeeeeenking wood bat.  Talk about a commie
    plot!  They are trying to take away the thrill of the home run
    from us!
    
    The Whammer

    < Note 74.244 by MCIS1::DHAMEL "Amazon Women Moon the Men" >
    
>    Aw, c'mon, C'bone, that was poetic and bootiful.  Nothing like waxing
>    eloquent while rubbing down your woodie with pine tar.

    Note of the year...fer sure.
    
    Mark.

Guys, guys...

If you must know, I'm just honing my skills....  You see, I've 
always wanted to work for Sports Illustrated as a photographer.
But, since they have no openings, I took another course of action.

I'm auditioning as a sports writer, and decided I'd practice on you all...

Wait till I get rolling....

'Saw

T to have a field day with this then:

	My photos are even better than my writing.... 8^)


�    Cripes, Frank, you're starting to sound like that geek in the
�    bow tie George Will!
    

Did any of you see SNL with "George Will's Sports Machine"?  It was
so funny I almost wet myself.  They had "Mike Schmidt" and "Lasorda"
on as contestants (John Lovtiz played Lasorda, and I think Corbern
Bernson played Schmidt")  Dana Carvey was excellent as Will.

Check for it in re-runs...

'Saw

    Way funny, Frank.
    
    Will: "The aura of a hot August night when opposing pitchers duel
           in a defensive struggle is not unlike...
    
    	   a: The nape of a women's bare neck, partially covered in
    	      silk,
    	   b: The sound of crashing waves on a deserted beach, or
    	   c: The caress of a warm breeze after a rain shower."
    
    Lasorda: "Hey, I thought this was a baseball contest!!"
    
    Mark.

"Piffle, or not piffle?"  8^)

Piffle!!!

    Can anyone tell me the uniform colors of all the NBA teams, and while
    you're at it, how about their team nicknames and the name of where they
    play?
    
    Oh, on the uniform colors, please be pacific, like, Denver's uniform
    has lots of colors sort of like a rainbow.  
    
    Thank's.
    
    	:-)
    
    H�wk

Hawk, hope this helps:


Team Name  (Nickname)		Uniforms		Stadium/Arena

Washington Bullets		White, Red & Blue	Capital Centre
Utah Jazz			Purple, Green, Gold
				and White		The Salt Palace
Seattle Supersonics (Sonics)	Green, White & Gold	Seattle Coliseum
San Antonio Spurs		Black & White		Hemisfair Arena???
Sacramento Kings		Carolina Blue & White	Arco Arena
Portland Trail Blazers		Black, Red & White	Veterans Coliseum
Phoenix Suns			Purple, Orange & White	Veterans Coliseum
Philadelphia 76ers		Blue, Red & White	The Spectrum
Orlando Magic			Black, Blue and White	Orlando Arena
New York Knickerbockers		Orange, Blue and White	Madison Square Garden
New Jersey Nets (Exit 16W Nets) Blue, Red, White	Byrne Meadowlands Arena
Minnesota Timberwolves (Wolves) Blue & Green		HHH MetroDome (Moving to
							a new arena nexted year)
Milwaukee Bucks			Green & White?? 	Bradley Events Center
Miami Heat			Black & Red		Miami Arena
LA Lakers			Purple & Gold		The Forum
LA Clippers			Red, Blue & White	LA Sports Arena
Indiana Pacers			Blue, Gold & White	Market Square Arena
Houston Rockets			Red, Gold & White	The Summit 
Golden State Warriors		White, Blue & Gold??	Oakland Coliseum Arena
Detroit Pistons			Red, White & Blue	The Palace at Auburn
							Hills
Denver Nuggets			Too Many colors	????	McNichols Arena
				Shows City with
				Mountains behind
Dallas Mavericks (Mavs)		Green, Blue, White	Reunion Arena
Cleveland Cavaliers (CAVS)      Orange, Blue, White	The Richfield Coliseum
Chicago Bulls			Red & Black		Chicago Stadium (I beleive)
Charlotte Hornets		Teal Blue, White,	Charlotte Coliseum
				Purple
Boston Celtics			Green & White		Boston Garden
Atlanta	Hawks			Red, Gold, White	The Omni
    

    	'Saw, could you please include starting line ups for the 1978-79
    season including full stats of the third leading scorer for each
    team?  thanks in advance.

Sure, should I include the Standard Deviation of all the
stats for triple doubles from that year, or just the line ups
and third leading scorer stats....

Could someone please tell me why my beer can is only laquered halfway
down the label?

'Saw

	And start using Change Bars, will you 'saw!!!!! :-)

JimH

Bars?  Did someone mention bars?  Where, when, how?

Actually, I prefer bullets.  They're more manly....

Team Name  (Nickname)		Uniforms		Stadium/Arena

Washington Bullets		White, Red & Blue	Capital Centre
Utah Jazz			Purple, Green, Gold
				and White		The Salt Palace
Seattle Supersonics (Sonics)	Green, White & Gold	Seattle Coliseum
San Antonio Spurs		Black & White		Hemisfair Arena???
Sacramento Kings		Carolina Blue & White	Arco Arena
Portland Trail Blazers		Black, Red & White	Veterans Coliseum
Phoenix Suns			Purple, Orange & White	Veterans Coliseum
Philadelphia 76ers		Blue, Red & White	The Spectrum
Orlando Magic			Black, Blue and White	Orlando Arena
New York Knickerbockers		Orange, Blue and White	Madison Square Garden
New Jersey Nets (Exit 16W Nets) Blue, Red, White	Byrne Meadowlands Arena
Minnesota Timberwolves (Wolves) Blue & Green		HHH MetroDome (Moving to
							a new arena nexted year)
Milwaukee Bucks			Green & White?? 	Bradley Events Center
Miami Heat			Black & Red		Miami Arena
LA Lakers			Purple & Gold		The Forum
LA Clippers			Red, Blue & White	LA Sports Arena
Indiana Pacers			Blue, Gold & White	Market Square Arena
Houston Rockets			Red, Gold & White	The Summit 
Golden State Warriors		White, Blue & Gold??	Oakland Coliseum Arena
Detroit Pistons			Red, White & Blue	The Palace at Auburn
							Hills
Denver Nuggets			Blue with Graphic of	McNichols Arena
				City Skyline (black)
				with Mountains behind
				(white), with one Red
				and one Yellow stripe
				above the Mountains.
Dallas Mavericks (Mavs)		Green, Blue, White	Reunion Arena
Cleveland Cavaliers (CAVS)      Orange, Blue, White	The Richfield Coliseum
Chicago Bulls			Red & Black		Chicago Stadium (I beleive)
Charlotte Hornets		Teal Blue, White,	Charlotte Coliseum
				Purple
Boston Celtics			Green & White		Boston Garden
Atlanta	Hawks			Red, Gold, White	The Omni

    Is SPORTS going to jump on the bandwagon and produce a Photo Album like
    some of the other conferences are doing?
    
    Then we can find out the truth about Monty and Hoot being bikers!
    
    Mike

And we can find out if it's true what Dr Midnight says about MrT's butt
being bigger than JR's.

TTom

    Could one of the Merrimack College noters tell me which buiding on the 
    campus is the Volpe Sports Complex?  (My wife and I are going there for
    an Army Band concert tonight.)  I'd be approaching Merrimack on route
    114, passing the campus on my right -- where should I turn off, and
    what would be the best place to park?
    
    
    Thanks,
    Paul

    
    The entrance off Rte 114 would be the closest entrance to the Sports
    Center.  Even if you take the wrong entrance, the campus isn't very
    big anyway and I'm sure you'll have no problem finding it. Everything
    on campus is within walking distance of everything else.
    
    -Dickster
    

    Well Paul, even though you are a ULowell fan/grad, here goes:  :-)
    
    Like you said, you're on 114E.  Go thru the set of lights which starts
    the Merrimack College campus on your right.  About 1/4 mile down, just
    before the next set of lights, there is a right turn- take that.  As
    you go in, there's a large parking lot on your left, and the Volpe
    Complex is on the other side of that lot (further left).  Park there,
    can't miss it.......
    
    Enjoy,
    
    H�wk

    Please explain this photo album stuff........  Sounds like a creation
    from that whacked-out SOAPBOX conference......  :-)
    
    I heard about that picture several years ago of Hoot, Monty, and Todd
    as bikers.  I never saw it, but it still got me rolling hearing about
    it!  :-)
    
    H�wk

       What do we do, all make copies of the pictures on our badges? No
    thanx!
       Jim Bob sent those pictures out Hawk. I 'filed' my copy when I found
    out it was a fake. 
                                           Denny

    Hoot ain't no biker..............he drives one of them rice_burners!
    Monty rides on back and squawks "Donks suck, Donks suck!".
    
    Claybone  ;^)

    I gots a question!  
    
    What does the "A" stand for on a hockey player's uniform.  I think
    I know what the "C" stands for (captain?), but could never figure
    out what the A is for.........
    
    Claybone

Claybone,

The A means that that sucker is an Alternate Captain.

Means that he can scream at the ref if the Captain ain't on the ice.

rick

go you canadian buggers beat those ruskies tonight!!!

    	A = Alternate Captain.

I drive a riceburner and love it, but my dream is to have a 
Harley in my stable too!

Actually, I'd love to see a photo album from one conference in
particular -- that Naturalism conference.  No darts there 8^)

And you don't need a photo album to see what I look like.
Just pick up any Alabama LP and look at the cover....

Chainsaw

    
    re: .275
    
      If the "A" on the uniform is red, it means he's a_Adulterer.
    
    Dickster
    

Hester'll love ya fer that one, -Dickster....

    	So 'Saw, which Bama dude are you anyways????

    Re: Bama dude
    
    He's the ugly one.
    

    	The bearded wonder?  (or are they all bearde??)  8^)

Well, people tell me that I look like Randy Owen, but I think I look
more like Teddy Gentry.  Either way, take your pick of the two dudes
with dark hair....

And to you Mike Heiser:  Fie on you, Fie on you!

So there,
'Saw

    	yeah 'Saw, but can you sing "Mountain Music" and do the appropriate
    foot tapping and hand clapping???
    
    	enquiring minds gotta know!

I am a man of many talents.  That I can do, yes.  In addition I
do a pretty good job of background vocals also.  I just can't sing
heavy metal lead stuff...(all the whisky in the world can't get my
range that high)...

Actually, I just wish I had Randy's money!

'Saw

    I dunno Alabama, but 'Saw looks like a biker to me.....  :-)
    
    Oh, and you know what, Chainsaw?  You're right, I never noticed it but,
    only the top half of my beer cans are laquered.  How cum?
    
    H�nk

    	What's laquered mean anyways?  thanks.

Laquer...the way a southern guy says he adores a member of the opposite
sex.

	So anyways, this Suzie Mae, well I laquer...

Hope this helps,
'Saw

    	so what does laquer have to do with only being on the top part
    of a beer can??

    	oh, forgot to say it.  thanks in advance.

    'Saw, do you wear those pointed toe boots too for killing roaches in
    the corners?
    
    Mike

    Thanks for the information on "A".  Now tell me...aren't there 3
    lines on a hockey team.  If so, then you have 1-C and 2-As right?
    You see, I don't know that much about hockey but I love to watch it.
    If I don't appear well informed while watching it on the tube, my
    wife will say "Why are you watching a stoopid game you don't know
    nuttin' about?".
    
    Thanks for saving Clay from watching Cosby reruns,
    
    Claybone

I've been known to.

Actually, I started wearing them because they are a) comfortable,
b) I like boots, and c) the occasions that I've gone riding they're
perfect for doing that...they fit in the stirrups right, and that's
what they were designed for to begin wif....

We don't have roaches where I live.  Instead, we have a lot of mice
(outside in the summer, inside in the winter)  and woodchucks.

The woodchucks I shoot, the mice I ignore (althought the wolf loves
to catch em) and any other critters I leave to the wolf.

Inside, I use golf clubs on the mice ;^)


And Sean, I don't know about your can, but mine don't have no laquer...;^)

Hope this helps, in advance...
'Saw

	Nexted question Saw.  Why is Harfaa called the insurance capital
    of the world????  thanks in advance, dude.

Claybone --

I'm sketchy on this, and I don't have my rule book here, but here's
what I remember.

I believe a team can have 1 C and up to three A's.  The only rule
is that there must be either a C or an A on the ice at any
given time, but there is no restriction like if a C is on, no A
can be on.  Also, no goalie can be an A or a C.

That's as much as I remember.

And an A or C cant' really yell at the ref, since they are as susceptible
as anyone to a misconduct.  They are allowed to discuss things, and
to ask the ref for interpretation etc.

If any of this is incorrect, please feel free...
'Saw

>I believe a team can have 1 C and up to three A's.  The only rule
 
    	Does that mean they make the Dean's list???
    
    <THUMP>   

Sean --

(Gawd, I feel like I'm on Sixty Minutes here...)

Hartford is called the Insurance Capitol of the World, because
a lot of the major insurance companies have their home offices
here.  The GHO Golf Tournament started out as the ICO (Insurance
City Open).

Other things that Hartford is known for is the fact that as the
seat of Connecticut government, it's charter was one of the first
to espouse some of the tenets that are in our Bill of Rights.
(I'm sketchy on that, since it's been a while since I studied that
stuff).

Also, Hartford is the home of Colt Firearms.  Their factory, with
the Blue Onion dome is a reknowned landmark.

Hartford was the home of Mark Twain and Harriet Beecher Stowe, both
extremely influential people in America in their time.  If you ever
are in Hartford I highly recommend the tour of their homes, as
it is a very interesting and informative experience.

Plus, Hartford will soon be the home of the tallest building in
New England...


If anyone ever wants to come down, and take a walking tour of Hartford,
I'd be glad to function as guide.  Afterwards, we'll stop at a couple
of good places to sample some beers...  Just let me know...

Chainsaw

>    Hoot ain't no biker..............he drives one of them rice_burners!
>    Monty rides on back and squawks "Donks suck, Donks suck!".
    
 Funny Claybone!!!  Hoot does ride Rice but Monty Rides Real Steel!!!
 I ride the best a Harley!!!!!! 

Monty

    
    Hah! Where do you think that steel came from? To the best of my
    knowledge there aren't any steel mills operating in the USofA any
    more. I tell ya what. I wouldn't trade my Yamaha Special for that
    900 piece of sheet Harley came out with a couple of years ago. Do 
    they still make that over-priced bucket of bolts? Was anyone stupid
    enough to buy it?

    
>    Hah! Where do you think that steel came from? To the best of my
   
     Piitsburgh?? Weirtown? Allentown? Circleville?
     I don't know....
    
>    more. I tell ya what. I wouldn't trade my Yamaha Special for that
>    900 piece of sheet Harley came out with a couple of years ago. Do 

    Hoot they make many other size bikes that would make that Yam seem
	like a tricycle!!!

 >   they still make that over-priced bucket of bolts? Was anyone stupid
 >   enough to buy it?

  resale value of any Harley is more than any rice.. As soon as you take rice
  off the floor the value drops almost in half...
  Yes, several thousand people!!!

 Bitt Boww!!!!

Monty

    	Mr. 'Saw, thank you for clearing all those question up.  You
    may take your seat now.
    
    	About that walk... did you mention beer??? 8^)  How far is Harfaa
    from heaa anyways?

Okay, Sean, where ya at?

Harfaa is about two hours from Boston.  From my house I can make
it to Boston in 1:45, make it to Nashua in 2:15 or so...

Beer is always included in anything I do....;^)


re Harley and rice...

As with anything else in this world that's different, both have
good points and bad points.  I love nothing better than the
whine of my Ninja winding up as I pull power on coming out of
a curve.  But, there is a lot to be said for the throaty sound
of a Harley.

As I previously mentioned, if I had the money for more toys, there'd
be a Harley in my stable too.

latered,
'Saw

    Yamaha Special, eh Hoot?  Early '80s 650, perhaps?  If so, that's one
    of my all-time favorite cycles.  If I had ~$800, I'd be riding one
    right now, in mint condition.......
    
    H�wk  (biker from the '70s)

    	'Saw... 2 hours, huh?  Ok, zounds like a good idea.  Never been
    to Harfaa..  (Drove through Milfaa on my way to Floridaa once).
    My friend lives in Wallyworld, CT.  Do you know where that is?
    
    Oh by the way, do I have to be 21 for this???  (small nit..) 8^)

    
    Monty,
    The steel more than likely comes from Japan. There are no major steel
    mills still operating in the United States. You know I didn't buy my
    bike off the show room floor. I could easily get at least what I paid
    for it, now. Yahama, Honda etc. make bikes that make your Sportster
    look like a tricycle, too. I like Harley's too, but they hardly have
    the market cornered on quality motorcycles. Do you remember that trash
    they were producing when AMF owned them? They venture into the racing
    circles now and then but can't compete.
    
                                                   HOOT
    

    
    Hawk,
    Close, '79 750 Special, mint condition. The 3 cylinder, shaft drive
    unit.

    Ha!  I got Hoot and Monty to have a LDUC.  I proclaim myself
    noter of the year!
    
    I used to own a '79 Lowrider.  I loved it! <sniff, sniff>  Gawd
    I miss my bike on these bluebird Colorado days.
    
    Thanks Chainsaw.........I give you an A+ for the info...or would
    you prefer a C?
    
    Claybone

    Harley's are great when they're running, which isn't very often! ;-)

    OK, now , guys,...
    remember- motorcycles are like women and guns...
    there are only two kinds...
    
    GOOD AND BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    
    
    
    			Happy riding,    Tom

       
Re  Cs and As

Claybone

I don't have a rule book anywhere, but as I recall a team can have a maximum
of 4 players altogether - Captaincy is optional.  In fack I remember the
Orr/Esposito Bruins had 4 alternates and no captain at all at one time.
I think that Bucyk suggested that he give up his Captaincy so that he, Orr,
Espo, and ??? could all be Alternates.

I don't think it is a rule, 'Saw, that either a C or an A has to be on the
ice at any time, but if there isn't one, the team would not have a 
representative in the event of an important dispute.

I thought that a goalie can be a C or A, but maybe that's an old one that has
since been changed.  Seems to me that once upon a time there was a goalie who
was Captain, but I don't remember who it was...

Anyway, the whole idea is a bit dated now.  Years ago, in case of controversy,
the ref would go to the Referee's circle (that little half moon by the 
timekeepers bench) to seek refuge when things got hot.  He would then call
over whatever Cs and As (one from each side) to discuss the problem, and they
would communicate in turn to the other players.  Now it seems to be a bit
less formal.

rick

I forgot to look up the rules last night on this. 

I have this EXCELLENT book at home which has more hockey info than
you could ever imagine...I mean records, standings from every year
since Jesus played defensemen for the Bethlehem Browns!, rules,
players stats...

If I remember, I'll enter the stuff nexted week....


'Saw

    > .......Jesus played defenseman for the Bethlehem Browns!
    
    Chainsaw, who won the Cup that year?  :-)
    
    Oh, and were hockey sticks laquered on the handle back then too?  :-)
    
    Shlep me.
    
    H�wk

       When Hoot and Monty are involved isn't it a SDUC? Does this mean the
    parrot has left the nest?
                                         Denny

�    Chainsaw, who won the Cup that year?  :-)

The Sumaria Spartons beat the Jersualem Wings 4 games to 2.


�    Oh, and were hockey sticks laquered on the handle back then too?  :-)

No, laquer had not been invented.  It is a little known fact, however,
that Jesus, in addition to playing a pretty mean defense (with some
awesome offensive capabilities also), made hockey sticks.  He was
a carpenter, if you'll remember, and his hockey sticks gained a lot
of popularity.

Goalies in particular loved  his sticks, because they swore that they
were imbued with something they called Saving Grace, but history is somewhat
dim on this point.
    

Chainsaw

    Thanks a bunch Rick.  With the plethora of hockey knowledge in
    here, I'll be a_expert before ya know know it.  
    
    Frank BABY, "Saving Grace"?  Rollllllward!  I suppose he carved
    those sticks out of a tree that was hit by lightning eh?
    
    Claybone_who's_soon_to_have_a_new_nickname_courtesy_of_Lufay

   	Whatsa matta with `Claywad' ?!!?

   Mike JN

�    Frank BABY, "Saving Grace"?  Rollllllward!  I suppose he carved
�    those sticks out of a tree that was hit by lightning eh?
    
Claybone, 

He had a_advantage, you see, because he could pick out the tree he
wanted, say "Okay, Dad, do your stuff" and wango, nexted thing you
know, the goalies of the BHL (Biblical Hockey League) had a new
crop of sticks soon on the way....

Don't know what Lufay is calling you, but I kinda liked Claywad...8^)

'Saw

    
    re: .315
    
    Small nit.  I believe the Sumaria Spartans beat the Calvary Flames
    that year.
    
    Dickster
    

It is possible -Dickster, that you might be correct.

I'm using the American Revised BHL History, and the year numbering
does not coincide with some of the other editions of BHL History
that are out there.

In fact, I'd be willing to bet that you are using the King James
BHL History, right?


Chainsaw

>>�    Chainsaw, who won the Cup that year?  :-)

>>The Sumaria Spartons beat the Jersualem Wings 4 games to 2.
    
    
    Yeh but Judas Iscariot (sp?) conspired to throw the series. He only
    collected 30 pieces of silver. The fans were so pissed that they went
    after the whole team. Don't ask Peter about it though. He'll deny
    everything.
    
    
    the devil dog

    Peter walked on water, but you should've seen what he could do when it
    was frozen!

    
    Yes, it was "Sandleless" Judas Iscariot who threw the series, but
    he hung himself out to dry when he was flaunting the thirty pieces
    of payola in a neighborhood sports bar.
    
    If I remember correctly, it was a very vicious series where St.
    Peter was thrown out for a blatant slashing call in the garden where
    an opposing player almost lost an ear.  Later on they retalliated
    by really nailing a few players on the boards.  I never thought
    they could come back, but three days later they came back most
    triumphantly.
    
    Dickster
    

re .-1:

Dickster, I yield to you sir...

too funny, way too funny....

Chainsaw

    Dickster, my Baltimore, MD catechism says that you'll burn in
    hell for such blasphemic play on words......  :-)
    
    HolyH�wk

    re Dickster,  I AM DYYYYIIINNNNNNGGGG!!!!
    
    
    Hockey must have been real vicious in those days. 

    Thank God for Friday afternoons, especially in this file....
    
    I'm rollin'
    
    A&W

Or

Thank God for this file, especially on Friday afternoon....


Actually I feel a beer attack coming on.  Gawd, I cain see it now.

Pale golden amber, about an inch of head on top, the glass sweating
in today's 90� heat... Lordy mama, I'm acomin' home!

Then another, and another, and another....ooooh weee!

'Saw

    Tell me about the heat!  I actually had the air-con on me cah at
    noontime today.......
    
    Which reminds me, should the winter air in our tires be changed to
    summer air, now that it appears that winter is over?  Or should we play
    it safe, being New England, and wait another month in case we get hit
    with a freak snowstorm nexted week?
    
    Shlep me, BABY!
    
    H�wk

    What's the prob doodes?  It's only 90 with 10% humidity!

The prob, dude, is this:

Lasted week, we were lucky if we hit 60� on a good day.
My body was getting used to running at 55-60 degrees.  All of a 
sudden today it was 90.

I felt like I was trying to suck in water instead of air.

Now, we all know that in warm air the air molecules are farther
apart than in cooler air, so it's harder to get them O2 molecules
into ma blood....

Tough run today at lunch...

'Saw

   � Now, we all know that in warm air the air molecules are farther apart
   � than in cooler air, so it's harder to get them O2 molecules into ma
   � blood....

   Turkey hunting this weekend. No turkey. Heard some gobbles, but always 
   moving away. They weren't coming to yelps, so I guess they're not ready
   to get laid yet  (stupid birds).

   If you think it's difficult getting 90� humid air into your lungs, you
   oughta try snoopin and poopin through the mountains at about 10,000'+
   altitude for two days with a pack on your back, and carrying an 8 lb
   shotgun. 

   I loved being out there. Saw a lot of bear track, TONS of Elk, and a
   variety of other animals (even a Bobcat foolin around; watched him
   through binocs for about 1/2 an hour). Also lots of beautiful country.
   One time, I climbed a ridge, followed it around and down into a canyon
   (calling every once in awhile), climbed out the other end of the
   canyon, then climbed up a scarp, and came out on top of the world!
   Jumbled rocks everywhere, leading up to what almost looked like a
   natural parapet of stone. It was about a thousand foot drop down to a
   rugged landscape, which was falling away to the South. I was down by
   Spanish Peaks, with a beautiful view of the Sangre de Christos.I could
   have held off an army with a sling shot. I was firm and squirmin. I
   could see forever! 

   Seeing that much beautiful country at once is almost a shock to the
   system. It's hard to take it all in. Quiet. Just a little wind. Warm
   sun. A hawk drifting on air currents. I was there a long time,
   reluctant to turn my back on it. I know why the mountain men just
   stayed there... and ya know, the religious mythology of the American
   Indian...?.... I can see where they got some of their ideas. 

   I'm goin back.
   Mike JN

    Mike JN, you mean you didn't take your ghetto-blaster and Metallica
    tapes with ya?  :-)
    
    H�wk

    	H�wk BABY!  Did you just mention Metallica????? AWESOME!!!!!
    8^)

�    Mike JN, you mean you didn't take your ghetto-blaster and Metallica
�    tapes with ya?  :-)

   I didn't even take a tent. Just water, grub, sleeping bag, and a poncho
   in case it rained; also a plastic water bottle full of bourbon for
   evenings around the campfire. As far as music goes, I can sing as bad
   as any rock star without half tryin.( ps. I took toilet paper, too. I'm
   not THAT rugged ;'D )

   Mike JN

    Mikey, did you make it out of the hills before we got dumped on?
    
    Claybone

�     Mikey, did you make it out of the hills before we got dumped on?

   Yeah. That far south, the wind picked up quite a bit, and it chilled
   down, but it hadn't snowed yet by the time I left. I got back about
   11:00 pm.  Driving through the crap around here was no treat though.
   Real icy roads. Would you believe I slept REAL good last night?!  But
   I'm not sore......... yet; I figured I would be... most of the mountain
   goat blood is on my wife's side of the family.

   Mike JN

Mikey --

I hear what yer sayin' dude.  There is nothing, but nothing in this
world that equates with sitting alone on a ridge, listening to 
the wind sing its own kind of song.

Its a little different out here, in that the ridges ain't so high (even
in the Whites) but you can still get the general idea...

Speakin' of bourbon, have you tried Gentleman Jack yet?  If so,
what think you?

'Saw

    	How do you sleep a yo-yo long enough to rock the cradle?  thanks
    for any help.

    I don't play with yo-yo's anymore. I tried to do around the world in an
    elevator once and this lady beated the p*ss outta with her poodle. 
    
    dem poodles don't bite too hard but they sure can hoit when someone
    swings one at you.

    	Thanks Steve..   It woiked pretty good.  Except the thing always
    rebounds too early before I cain finish the rock.  
    
    	Oh yeah, is it better to have the groove in the yoyo wide or
    small??
         
          
       |\    /|
       | \__/ |
       | |  | |   
       | |__| |
       | /  \ |
       |/    \|
    
         |__|
          ||
       distance?
    
    sean

 
I have just the right amount of string on my yo-yo.  And it always
fits into the groove just right, although it prefers the snug feeling
prevalent with narrower grooves.

It never sleeps when I call on it, and it might make a dog take a walk
but it wouldn't walk the dog.

Yep, my yo-yo, I think I'll keep it....

chainsaw

    
    And ya know how ya snap that sucker down and it comes right back
    and breaks every bone in your hand?  Those butterfly yo-jobs hurt
    the worst.  Oooohhhh.....I hate it when that happens.
    
    Next time I try an around-the-world, it ain't gonna be with no kid's
    toy.
    
    Dickster
    

    
 -->  Next time I try an around-the-world, it ain't gonna be with no kid's
 |   toy.
 |   
 |---> Dickster
    
Makes you wonder!

    Two unrelated questions here:
    
    1.  Has anyone ever seen Chainsaw and Adolf together in the same place
    	and at the same time?  Or, could that freakin' lunatic possibly be
    	'dolf's illegitimate love child?  Could it possibly be that
    	Adolf + Dr. Ruth = Freakin' Lunatic Chainsaw Way?  :-)
    
    2.  Ok, who's the joker that sent me the "Bread, Breakfast, and
    	Basketball" list?  It had to be someone who knows how much I despise 
    	the slam dunk.  The "Dew Dunk Inn" has me rolling!  Here's the "ad"
    
    		The Dew Dunk Inn,  Hosts: Cheryl and Ted Wells
    
    		If you enjoy picture-postcard New England scenery,
    		spectacular autumn foliage, and the lasting satisfaction
    		of a monster dunk, give Cheryl and Ted a call!  This
    		restored Vermont farmhouse boasts a freshwater pond,
    		acres of wooded riding trails, and eight pro-size
    		indoor basketball courts!  Ted's amazing repetoire
    		of spin, double-pump, and alley-oop dunks is surpassed
    		only by the myriad delights that spring from Cheryle's
    		kitchen!
    
    Rollward!  Ok, who's the cuprit?!
    
    H�wk

�    Two unrelated questions here:

Are you sure?


    
�    1.  Has anyone ever seen Chainsaw and Adolf together in the same place
�    	and at the same time?  Or, could that freakin' lunatic possibly be
�    	'dolf's illegitimate love child?  Could it possibly be that
�    	Adolf + Dr. Ruth = Freakin' Lunatic Chainsaw Way?  :-)

I have, when he was over my house.  He's a lot older now, and still
pretty bitter at the world.  He hair is all white, and he cuts
the cheese wicked bad sometimes.  But, on the whole, he's quite
an interesting person.  Of course, I never have him over too often,
since his attitudes can be quite a load on your psyche.

Strangely enough, he really gets off on Jimi's playing.  I mean,
the other night he made Jimi play "Voodoo Chil'" six times straight.
(Hey, I wasn't complainin, believe me) and it was wicked funny because
he'd be singing along on the chorus with the Bavarian accent

		"Caus' I'm a Foo-doo chil, heil, heil, oh yea..."

It was too funny...

    
�    2.  Ok, who's the joker that sent me the "Bread, Breakfast, and
�    	Basketball" list?  It had to be someone who knows how much I despise 
�    	the slam dunk.  The "Dew Dunk Inn" has me rolling!  Here's the "ad"
    

Have you been into my mushrooms?


'Saw

>Have you been into my mushrooms?

'Saw, was that you that got busted at the Dead concert?

    	That Bed, Bread and Basketball thing is a scream.  'Saw you gotta
    fess up and tell us the origins of that thing.  It was mahvelous!
    
    "Ted's amazing repertoire of spin, double-pump, and alley-oop dunks
    is surpassed only by the myriad delight from Cheryl's kitchen!"
    
    	The pictures are the best part though!!!  8^)
                 
    sean

Nope, never been busted for mushrooms before...  Brocolli once,
but never mushrooms...


Sean, I never fess up to anything...'gainst my constitution...

I'd like to sample some of Cheryl's delights in her kitchen,
from the sounds of it...heh, heh, heh....

'Saw

    	I dunno 'Saw... from the looks of things I'd say she's pulling
    50!  Kay's got definitely possiblities, though.  Free time at the
    charity stripe sounds awfully tempting. 
    
    sean

Sean, if she can pull about 5 Torr, I don't care how old she is....

    	8^) 'Saw!  The shower with Nancy and Ed sounds the most suspicious
    of the four...
    
    sean

    	The author comes from Bloomfield CT.  Nice job Frank.  Classic
    stuff.
    
    				/Don

Yeah, I didn't have enough brand new inter-orifice snail envelopes
to get everyone a new one, so I just hoped for the best....

I got it from a co-worker who's brother works at Penn State.  It
came in a letter on Penn State stationery.

We play quite a bit of hoops here at lunch time, and it has been
a big hit, so I thought I'd share it...

Enjoy....
'Saw

    thanks Saw.  Purty darn funny.
    JD

To settle a bet..

Can anyone provide me the words for the Canadian national anthem,
"O Canada"...

thanks,
'Saw

    re 'Saw:
    
    O Canada our home and native land
    True patriot love in all thy son's command
    With glowing hearts we see thee rise
    The true north strong and free
    From far and wide O Canada
    We stand on guard for thee
    God keep our land, glorious and free
    O Canada we stand on guard for thee
    O Canada we stand on guard for thee
                     
    
    py

    Those French, they have a different word for everything!
    
    Mark.

    O Canada our home and native land, eh ???
    True patriot love in all thy son's command, take off.
    With glowing hearts we see thee rise, hoser.
    The true north strong and free, eh ???
    From far and wide O Canada, take off.
    We stand on guard for thee, hoser.
    God keep our land, glorious and free, eh ???
    O Canada we stand on guard for thee, take off.
    O Canada we stand on guard for thee, hoser.
    
    Bob Hunt
    

    i love that song..
    
    damn, wiping tears away at this very moment
    
    
    dinz
    
    

    When sung in Quebec during the big push for independence for Quebec,
    the next to last line was "We stand on guard for rights and liberty."
    
    John

    Anyone know the words to "I HATE LA!"? (sung to the tune of "I Love
    LA")
    
    It just hit the top of the charts in Phoenix.

    
    re: .364, eh?
    
    Too funny.  I'd like to get the Bob and Doug McKenzie version, and
    like, get some beer, you know, and we could like drink the beer
    while we listen to it, eh? And then we could get some more beer
    and do it again, eh hoser?
    
    Dickster
    

   	Great Anthem , Bob (Take off, you hoser!)

   Re: Beer     Make sure  it's some of them metric six packs
   		ya  know... double it and add 32, ey?

   Mike JN

    	Hey Saw, didja see the Sportswriter sweat lasted night? 8^)
    Thanks again dude!
    
    sean

           <<< OURGNG::SYS$SYSDEVICE:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SPORTS.NOTE;1 >>>
                 -< OURGNG::SPORTS - Digital's daily tabloid >-
================================================================================
Note 251.0                        pentath... ?                         5 replies
PNKFLD::NEEDLEMAN "yesterdays technology tomorrow"    9 lines  30-MAY-1990 13:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I need to know the 5 events that make up a pentathlon (spelling?) at
    the Olympics. A vaxmail reply is preferred.

    thanks in advance,

    Barry

    ps. the proper spelling would be nice also ;-)
    
================================================================================
Note 251.1                        pentath... ?                            1 of 5
VAXWRK::NEEDLE "Fahrvergn�ten!"                       0 lines  30-MAY-1990 13:38
                 -< Beer, Pee, Beer, Pee, and Beer I believe. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
================================================================================
Note 251.2                        pentath... ?                            2 of 5
CAM::WAY "Might be your man, I don' know..."          7 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pentathalon...

Simming, cross-country riding, running, fencing, revolver shooting...


Shlep this wonks,
Chainsaw
================================================================================
Note 251.3                        pentath... ?                            3 of 5
CAM::WAY "Might be your man, I don' know..."          9 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
�Simming, cross-country riding, running, fencing, revolver shooting...


Should actuall be SWIMMING.  

Just remember that it's the James Bond training school and you'll be
all set...

;^)
================================================================================
Note 251.4                        pentath... ?                            4 of 5
CSC32::GAULKE "Bigfoot prefers Pork Chops"           13 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
    
     >>  cross-country riding
    
      
    WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?  SCOOTERS? HORSES?
    
    
    LITTLE TITLES ARE NOT TO BLAM!!!
    
    
    
================================================================================
Note 251.5                        pentath... ?                            5 of 5
CAM::WAY "Might be your man, I don' know..."         15 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>     >>  cross-country riding
>    
>      
>    WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?  SCOOTERS? HORSES?
>    
>    
>    LITTLE TITLES ARE NOT TO BLAM!!!
>    
    
Really big, loud bitchin' Harleys, with dudes on them wif tattoos,
gold teef, beards rife with tobaccy spit, and leather flight helmets.
The contestants rides two up with said 'driver' and cajoles and otherwise
promises sexual favors in an effort to be the other contestants to
the finish line...    

    

    The beer chug
    The anisette chaser
    The reverse beer chug
    The Bailey's chaser
    The vomit
    
    Help hope this.
    
    NAZZ

    NAZZ, let me be the firsted to mentioned that I'm damn glad that you're
    back to make such fine junk note contributions to this file again!
    
    :-)
    
    H�wk

Actually, it's like this:

	The Date
	Foreplay
	The DEED
	Sleep (snoring optional)
	The Blowoff


Not that *I* would ever participate, but I thought you might like fto
know....

'Saw

    
    .376
    
    Make a date and go right into foreplay, huh 'Saw?  No movie? No
    dinner?  No drinks?  No slobbering?  No begging?
    
    If you can get your moves and techniques into a /Don video, you'll
    sell a million of 'em.  8^)
    
    Dickster
    

    But that's the pentathalon -- the quickie version.
    
    Then there's the decathalon -- for whining and dining and carrying
    on......
    
    A&W

    
      >>>             whining and dining and carrying
                      ^^^^^^^
                         |
                         |__ Was this intentional?  If so:
    
                     HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH(tm)
    
    Dickster
    

    It's intentional
    
    A&W

re /Don...


	Dude, that should be Froodian Slip 8^)

    I liked 'Saw's better, but I must admit Nazz, that was a better attempt
    than your 3 point shooting....
    
    _Walt

�     Doesn't anybody do 'depth charges' anymore?
    
    
I do them in my waterbed if I'm with the right person, but
I don't think it's what you've got in mind....8^)


Shleps wonk deen shlong,
'Saw    
    

   	Lasted time I did one of those, I was in serious difficulty
   ( re: coherence, etc. ). I chipped a toof, swallowed the shot glass, 
   fell backwards over a railing, and landed on a stripper.. uh, I mean,..
   a young lass from the Christian Science Reading Room, who had stopped
   for a cup of sasparilla. (She made me give her a dollar wif ma teef!)!

   Mike JN

    Unfortunately, I'm too old for the 'Saw's pentathlon, tho'
    it sounds like fun.  Heck, I'm almost as old as Lee Timmons!
    
    NAZZ

NAZZ...

C'mon dude.  Yer never too old!

Okay, so your time drops off a bit, but hey, we all go through that.
And sometimes youth is no substitute for experience.  I mean,
it might be a tad tougher to get the date, but all the experience should
make for some triumphant foreplay.

And hey, quite honestly, sometimes younger pentathaletes have a problem
with the blowoff event.  With all your experience, I'm sure that that
event would also be quite excellent.

Remember:  you're never too old (maybe TOO BLAM!) but never too old!

Party on dude!
'Saw

    I thought (being a real young dude) that movies and wHining and dining
    were part of foreplay. If I'm wrong, dont tell me!!
    
    			Rich
    

    for Nazz -
    
    If you really feel you can't keep up in the pentathalon, change
    events to the decathalon, with its increased opportunities for scoring,
    and style points.
    
    for Rich -
    
    You're wrong, but I didn't tell you that :-).  There's actually
    more points available in foreplay (and afterplay, particularly if
    you skip the snoring) than there are in the 'main event'.......but
    it's one of those lessons ya learn the hard way.
    
    A&W 

    > the hard way.
    
    A&W, we know what you meant here.  Did you think we didn't know what
    you meant here?  We know what you meant here.
    
    :-)
    
    H�wk

    Claybroon, certainly a most excellent p-name.
    
    Mark.

           <<< OURGNG::SYS$SYSDEVICE:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SPORTS.NOTE;1 >>>
                 -< OURGNG::SPORTS - Digital's daily tabloid >-
================================================================================
Note 250.0                       Stanley Cup Age                      12 replies
EARRTH::GROVES                                       11 lines  30-MAY-1990 11:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
        Does anyone know how old the Stanley Cup is ?  I realize that
    is the oldest in North American sports, but don't know how old it
    is.
         Another question:
    
          Is it the original cup ? I know all the players get their
    names on the cup, but is it a different cup each year ?
    
    
      Jim
================================================================================
Note 250.1                       Stanley Cup Age                         1 of 12
MCIS1::DHAMEL "Pavlov's dog was named Odie"          12 lines  30-MAY-1990 11:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Can't say how old it is, but I believe the original cup is just
    the dinky little thing on top, and they keep adding layers on the
    bottom, like a cake.
    
    When it gets just a little bigger, they're gonna have a naked Titles
    and Aquisitions specialist jump out of it during the finals.
    
    Hope this helps.
    
    Dickster
    
================================================================================
Note 250.2                       Stanley Cup Age                         2 of 12
AXIS::ROBICHAUD "Lean Mean Milking Machines"          3 lines  30-MAY-1990 11:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    	I think the original Cup is in the Hall of Fame in Toronto.
    
    				/Don
================================================================================
Note 250.3                       Stanley Cup Age                         3 of 12
CAM::WAY "Might be your man, I don' know..."         11 lines  30-MAY-1990 12:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For some reason the year 1896 comes to mine...

Calling John Hendry, calling John Hendry....

Actually, if I had my hockey media guide here I could tell you....


There is quite a history behind the Cup.  It has during its lifetime
been stolen, and also dumped into a Canal....

'Saw
================================================================================
Note 250.4                       Stanley Cup Age                         4 of 12
FSHQA2::JHENDRY "John Hendry, DTN 292-2170"           4 lines  30-MAY-1990 12:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I don't have my hockey media guide handy but I'll certainly look
    it up when I get a chance
    
    John
================================================================================
Note 250.5                       Stanley Cup Age                         5 of 12
FSHQA2::JHENDRY "John Hendry, DTN 292-2170"           4 lines  30-MAY-1990 12:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I had some Stanley Cup history on line.  'Saw, you were close. 
    Its first year was 1894.
    
    John
================================================================================
Note 250.6                       Stanley Cup Age                         6 of 12
PARVAX::WARDLE "Yanks and Jets in 1990!"              4 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Just ask LeE...he's been around for awhile. After all, he remembers
    watching Yogi.
    
    JoJ   8^)
================================================================================
Note 250.7                       Stanley Cup Age                         7 of 12
MCIS1::DHAMEL "Pavlov's dog was named Odie"          12 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    I remember Yogi, too.  He was that Indian guy with the beard and
    the robe and the sandals and he lived on a mountain in Nepal or
    somewhere and went around lecturing about transcontinental meditation
    and he wore all sorts of flowers in his hair because he was going
    to San Fransisco where they smoke a lot of hemp and drop acid on
    each other.
    
    Peace,
    
    Dickster, love child of the 60's
    
================================================================================
Note 250.8                       Stanley Cup Age                         8 of 12
CSC32::GAULKE "Bigfoot prefers Pork Chops"           15 lines  30-MAY-1990 14:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
     re: the real Yogi.
    
       Ahh yes, and all his followers hung out in NYC Port Authority
    Bus Terminal asking for loose change. 
    
    
        "remember my children, it is easier to pass camel 
    thru eye of needle if greased."
    
    
       Steven
    
    
================================================================================
Note 250.9                       Stanley Cup Age                         9 of 12
CURRNT::ROWELLW "Whats in a (personal) name ?"        9 lines  31-MAY-1990 03:23
                     -< The Ranger won't like this Yogi ! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey,
    
    I thought Yogi was a big brown hairy brute who stole pic-a-nic
    baskets from tourists in Jellystone Park, with his sidekick
    Boo-Boo.
    
    ;-)
    
    Wayne.
================================================================================
Note 250.10                      Stanley Cup Age                        10 of 12
SHIRE::FINEUC1                                       22 lines  31-MAY-1990 03:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jim,

nope, it's not the original Stanley Cup.

Danged if I can remember the details, but, as someone said, it was dumped in
a canal at one point - don't know whether that one was recovered or not...

Otherwise, it was stolen at least once, lost a couple of times (they all got
smashed and left in on a street corner in Montreal once), and who knows what 
else.

So I reckon that the original either stayed lost/stolen or they retired it
once upon a time, and replaced it with the current one, which has been enlarged
two or three times along the way.

I think someone mentioned in here that they were running out of space to
put the names on the current one??

rick ellis
    
    

================================================================================
Note 250.11                      Stanley Cup Age                        11 of 12
CAM::WAY "Might be your man, I don' know..."          4 lines  31-MAY-1990 06:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They keep adding 'layers' onto the bottom of the cup, with spaces
for names....

'Saw
================================================================================
Note 250.12                      Stanley Cup Age                        12 of 12
DVF::COULOMBE                                        10 lines   1-JUN-1990 11:01
                               -< Lord Stanley >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    STANLEY CUP, the oldest trophy competed for by professional athletes in
    North America, was donated by Frederick Arthur , Lord Stanley of
    Preston and son of the Earl of Derby , in 1893. Lord Stanley purchased
    the trophy for 10 guineas ($50 at the time ) for presentation to the
    amateur hockey champions of Canada. Since 1910, when the NHL took
    possession of the cup,  the trophy has been the symbol of professional
    hockey supremacy. It has only been competed for by the NHL teams since
    1926 and under control by the NHL  since 1946.
    
    Coach.
    

    Thankeeeee kindly.  I picked it up from a bumper sticker I
    saw the other day.  Kind of sums up the gun control debate
    for me.
    
    Hey Gang, I just heard that Markie is gonna be an uncle.  Is
    that scary or what?  The poor kid hasn't got a chance!  ;^)
    
    Claybone

    I've been meaning to say this since I first saw "Titles and
    Acquisitions" (in this notes file, I mean :-)...
    
    Shouldn't it be: "Titles and Appendices" ???
    
    You know, titles are in the front of a book, appendices are in the
    back?  I mean, then we could continue the "book" analogy, like, 
    
    "Cain't tell a book by its cover"...
    "Read between the lines"...
    "Reading... Its FUNdamental"...
    "I was BOOKIN' last night!"
    "I'm a bookworm" ('Saw's P-name? :-)
    "I prefer soft-cover"
    "Book-of-the-month Club"
    
    Hey, this is easy, I thought of most of those just now!
    
    Shlep this schlong, or whatever you hip dudes mean :-)
    
    ML
    
    
    

   I'm Rollward!

   Way to go ML!  I like it! Titles and Appendices has my vote.

   `Tail of Two Cities' (Sounds like a Playboy exclusive)

   Is `The Rise and Fall of the Roman Umpire' - by Gibbons - about Sports...
   ...... or what?

   If Roseanne Barr were a book she'd be...  War and Piece? (And it's still
   okay with me if she sits on H'awk's face)
       
   � Shlep this schlong, or whatever you hip dudes mean :-)
    
   Most of those are take-offs on `Hope This Helps'... ie. rearrange the
   letters, and you get: 

   Phoe Shit Shlep    
   Mike JN

I think Titles and Acquisitions(tm) is a legal phrase, which was
used because of T & A.

Other related phrases to describe anatomy...

	Litigations
	Contracts
	Pensions

See how easy it is...8^)

'Saw

Here's a miscellaneous question for ya....

Last night I was fast forwarding through a videotape to get to a movie
near the end, and stopped to watch the ending of Hoosiers.  I got
to wondering, as I watched these kids play ball, where they got them
from...

I don't have the names (but I could get them), but do any of you know
whether or not these kids (actors, whatever) played college ball, 
or what...

Hope you can shelp me...
'Saw

    'Saw,
    
    I don't know the details of the actors who played the basketball
    players in "Hoosiers".  It's pretty obvious, though, that the producers
    were going for the "anonymous" factor.  That is, no "name" actors among
    the players to draw undue attention away from the story.  I've never
    seen a single one of those players show up in any other filmed
    production.
    
    There are so many wonderful moments in that film.  There was Gene
    Hackman's "Norman Dale" deliberately forcing his own ejection so that
    Dennis Hopper's "Shooter" could coach a last-second win.  And Ollie's
    miracle free throws to clinch the state semi-final.  And Jimmy, the
    star player, quietly interrupting the "hearing" where the townsfolk
    were trying to get Norman Dale fired.
    
    I think one of my favorite scenes was near the end when they showed
    some of those same "lynch mob" fans going wild.  Yes, they were
    bandwagon jumpers but you could just see their transformation from
    "this guy's nuts ..." to "can we win just one more" ...
    
    Beautiful movie.  An all-time classic ...
    
    Bob Hunt

    And to think that it was based on a true story makes it even better.

    Titles and Acquisitions roolz...all others are cheap imitations.
    Don't settle for anything less.
    
    Don't congrat me, congrat my brother.
    
    Mark.

One of my favorite parts is where in the last second, Norman Dale
says that they'll use Jimmy as the decoy.  Everybody is quiet but
he can tell something is up.  He says what's wrong?

Jimmy looks him in the eye and says I can make it....  It was great!


From the way they played I almost wondered if they were University
kids or something (like from JV squad?????).

'Saw

    Saw'
    
    The kid that played Jimmy played division II(I believe) ball at
    a small college in Ohio or Indiana.  Last year I remember reading
    that he was fighting the NCAA who revoked his eligibility for accepting
    money to portray a basketball player.
    
    The NCAA is ridiculous some times.  I also read earlier this year
    that some kid lost his eligiblity to play ball because he accepted
    a new car that he won with a half-court shot at a NBA game.
    
    Too much,
    
    Cap

    >> One of my favorite parts is where in the last second, Norman Dale
    >> says that they'll use Jimmy as the decoy.  Everybody is quiet but he
    >> can tell something is up.  He says what's wrong?
    
    Yeah, that was *great*.  I'm sure you took note of it but this was a
    major transformation in *all* of them.
    
    When the season started, Norman Dale benched players or threatened them
    with leaving the team if they so much as *thought* differently than he
    did.  Remember when they finished playing a game with only 4 players on
    the floor at the end because one of the more headstrong kids decided to
    violate the "four passes" rule and go bombs away from the outside ???
    
    Then at the end, they openly question the single most critical decision
    at the utmost critical moment in the entire history of the school and
    he gives in !!!   And they win !!!
    
    As corny a sports movie as you'll ever see.  But the goosebumps come
    back every single time.
    
    Bob Hunt

�    As corny a sports movie as you'll ever see.  But the goosebumps come
�    back every single time.
    
Yeah, Bob, but we all know that's the way true stories are sometimes 8^)

I like the part where Coach Dale tells the kid to cover his man so
close he knows what kind of gum he's chewing.  When the kid fouls out
he looks over at Coach and says "Dentyne".... too much.


Cap --

Thanks for the info.  After watching that movie a few times, it dawned
on my that the kids really knew how to play, and that most of them
were coming damned close to the rim on a lot of rebounds and stuff.

The NCAA taking away the eligibility is stupid.  They should concentrate
more on those players who are accepting baseball hats, right? 8^)


'Saw

    Baseball question:  I was at the ball park last night watching the
    Colorado Springs Sky Sox beat the Albuquerque Dukes and a call occurred
    that I can't figure out.

    Men on first and second.  Batter lays down a bunt straight toward the
    mound.  Pitcher bobbles the ball, then gets it together and whips it to
    first.  The play is close but the runner is called out.  Next thing you
    know, the officials are having a little conference in the middle of the
    infield.  The umpire then signals (again) that the batter is out and
    then he sends the two runners (who, naturally, had advanced to second
    and third) back to first and second!

    Can anyone explain what might have happened?  Thanks.

    Sid

    re:.407
    
    Perhaps the batter had stepped out of the batters box or stepped on the
    plate when he laid down the bunt.  This would result in an automatic
    dead ball (therefore runners couln't advance) and the batter being
    called out.

    
    Infield fly rule?

    
    Another possibility.. the batter may have interfered with the catcher..  
    
    This would have caused him to be called out, plus the runners would
    then have to return to their original positions.  
    
    

    Hey, BOSS- didja ever make it out to the right coast?  If so, how come
    you didn't give us a call for a get-together?  Coulda had a fun soccer
    game, you know.....  :-)
    
    H�wk

    Ball may have hit the runner when he bunted it?

    Huck, we did have a get together...you weren't invited.
    
    Mark.

    
      What's Bo Jackson's real first name? 
    
      Bull~
    

    Now that we know Bo Jackson's real firsted name.....  :-)
    
    Has there been system problems with OURGNG lately, or is it on my end? 
    Been having "path to network exited" and "remote node unavailable"
    technoweenie problems.  Just want to know if it's just me.....
    
    H�wk

    
       Vank vu very vuch vor vall vee vesposes
    
       Vull~
    
    

    
    I always wondered, does Bo Derek have a real first name?
    
    Is it Vincent?  And how do you get "Bo" out of "Vincent"?
    How do they get "Bob" out of "Robert", and "Dick" out of "Richard"
    and "Ted" out of "Edmund"?
    
    And what about Boo Ferris?
    
    I'm so confused.  I'm going to go take a pill.
    
    Dickster
    

      Bo(dacious) Derek?
                                      Denny

    Dick, this is deep.  And, just to add to your list, how about "Jack"
    out of "John", and "Bill" out of "William"?  "Sly" out of "Sylvester",
    and "Jim" out of "James"?
    
    Also, why do parents with a last name of "Williams" sometimes name
    their son "William".  William Williams?  David Davis?  Robert Roberts?
    John Johnson?  Eric Erickson?
    
    And, how come a black person can have the last name of "White", while a
    white person can have a last name of "Black"?  What about the last name
    "Green"?  Remember Moe Green in the Godfather, the guy that got the
    bullet in the eye?  
    
    Maybe this should be moved to SOAPBOX, where there's always some heavy
    discussions going on.......
    
    Sleps the crap outta me!
    
    H�wk

       Everyone knows that >Bo is short for Bo-vine!!!!
    
    REK

Dickster and Hawkster --

Clearly, you gentlemen have been partaking of the mushrooms I sent
up there.  Hope you enjoyed them.

If you'd like to see some totally triumphant names, check out
Catch-22.  You'll find Milo Minderbinder, Major Major Major, Major
Minor, Colonel Korn, and General Dweedle.  


Also, I like people with two first names, you know like Washington Irving
(or Irving Washington), and Barney Frank (Frank Barney), Peter Paul,
Paul Peter etc etc etc ...

Now I'm confused.  anyone got another mushroom?

Chainsaw - who's going to ask Alice right now......

    	My mother's best friend married a fella who name was
    	Clifford Senior. Cliff's father was also named Clifford
    	Senior. So, Cliff was Clifford Senior, Jr., and his
    	father was Clifford Senior, Sr.
    
    	Scott

    
    >Now I'm confused.  anyone got another mushroom?
    
    Yep.  Just dragged (or is that drugged?) a fresh batch out of the
    fertilizer this weekend.  Funny how they taste like shit, though.
    
    I'll send some down via demand shuttle, and at the same time I can
    return your 2 Live Crew tapes.
    
    Dickster
    

    Which leads me to axe:
    
    Is Junior Felix Junior Felix, Sr. or Junior Felix, Jr.?
    
    Tanks for the 'shrooms, Way Frank!
    
    John Steven, father of Steven John.
    

    Those're still better than my friend from high school, Candy Disch,
    and her brother Rad.  (Think about it.)
    
    Their folks musta been doin' some serious 'rooms.
    
    A&W 

I like the girl my dad went to school with (and this is true folks,
I've seen the roster):

		Ophelia Peck

heh heh heh,
'Saw

    Bo got his nickname from his youth. It's said that he had a wild,
    nasty streak growing up, which made him "as wild as a boar hog."
    
    "Boar" was shortened to "Bo", and the rest is history ....
    
    Doc

    
    And Bo's father was named John, but his friends called him Jack,
    so the folks in town called the little guy Bo, Jack's son, and the
    rest is history...
    
    Dickster
    

    
    Here in Telecom, we often deal with the Digital phone directory,
    and there is then the chance to play "Phone Book Marriages."
    
    For example, we marry a Diane Kohne to Keith Head, and her married
    name would be Diane Kohn-Head.
    
    Then you can divorce 'em and let 'em re-marry, so Alice Miller would
    hitch up with Glen Light, and subsequently marry Roger Beer, and
    voila:  Alice Miller-Light-Beer!
    
    Some others from directories, past and present:
    
    Joanne Coke - Leon Koller
    Linda French - Larry Fry
    Susanmarie Dinga - Roger Ling
    Anne Duncan - Robert Donat
    Chieu Do - Vinod Rai - Jason Mi - Larry Farr - Peter Sola
    Anne Marie Eassy - Robert Pickens
    Elizabeth Cardinal - Roy Finch - Lincoln Jay - Carl Robbins
    
    Somewhere I had more than 50 of these fantasy weddings, but with
    all the 'shrooms, I don't remember where I put it.
    
    Dickster
                  
    

   	True story.

   I'm originally from Illinois (Peoria).
   There were a pair of twins there named
   	Ivery and Overy Johnson

   		They were boy twins

   I knew their mother and father.

   	I  could never bring myself to call them by name... I was afraid I
   would totally lose it and start spitting beer all over the place...so 
   it was always `Well, hows the twins?'  or `Why, if it isn't the twins!'

   	I also never knew whether their folks mispelled Ivory wrong on
   purpose, or Ovary wrong on purpose, or if it never even dawned on them
   what an ovary was.... or what. But I always felt sorry for the twins.

   Mike JN

    Oh yes, Dickster!  The Digital phone book is so much fun!  Glad to know
    that I'm not the only one who's partaken in humorous names hunting!
    
    Another thing that brought hours of enjoyment was, in my early
    technician days, when boring times hit and no Notes to pass the time,
    I'd shave the ends of those long wooden (woodie?) Q-tips, insert them
    in a straw, and shoot them into the tile ceiling above.  Had 1 tile
    damn near filled!
    
    Also, I used to love to take DTW's and clone funny looking people.....
    
    H�wk

    It's good to see that we've all matured so.
    
    Mark.

    Used to be a guy in the Honeywell directory named:
    
    Holger Denk.
    
    Honest!
    
    I bet he hated his father for that one.
    
    Lee

       Hawk, we used to toss the magnets from the cab doors up onto the
    ceiling. There're probably billions of 'em still stuck up there here in
    WMO.
                                          Denny

Best name in the Digital phone book:

		Philip Orifice


My goof-off story:

One time, when I worked for a consulting firm, I was spending friday
afternoon in my downstairs office, shooting juicy spitballs at the
clock on the wall over the door.  I must have had about 50 spitballs
just stuck on that sucker, when my boss walked in.

Now, the clock on the wall was behind him, right over his head.  Imagine
how hard it was for me and the secretary who shared my office to hold
in our laughter as we waited for one of those juicy spitballs to
fall on this guy's haid.

About 20 seconds after he left, one of them fell right where he'd been
standing.  It was too funny.


Also, didja ever try to take the write protect rings off magtapes and
toss them onto the overhead wirehangers?  That'll keep ya busy for
an afternoon.....


Chainsaw

    
    I once had a customer named Hung Dang.

    there is a customre to the csc named Fuking Hu. He don't speak a word
    of English either.

    Has anyone been to the New England Sports' Museum? Is it any good
    - worth going to? Where is it and how do I get there?
    
    Rich
    

    It is on Soldiers Field Road in Allston roughly across the road
    from WBZ.  I've never been there and I don't know how worthwhile
    it is.
    
    John

    Another DEC employee= Pu San Yu

    Hey Lee - How's your daughter's leg?  Will she be able to play field
    hockey this fall?  Where's she going to school?  Did she get a
    scholarship?
    
    NAZZ

    Nazz, Kerrie is doing fine, but she'll be undergoing rehab until
    Jan-Feb, so no fall sports.  Don't even expect her to play BB.
    
    She's enrolled at NECC, mainly because of the rehab.  She was all
    set for Plymouth State, but she'd had to change the therapist, and
    she didn't want to do that.  She's planning on transfering after
    one year, will try for Lowell, UMass, Salem State.  No scholarship,
    she's too short for the larger schools.  Plymouth did want her,
    and scouted her 4 times.  We were invited up for a game and a tour
    of the campus.  Boy, was it cold up there!  A two hour drive, too.
    
    Hey JD, I was surprised when Kerrie came home with instructions
    from the surgeon to have the rehab at Cedardale!  What was the name
    of the guy you know there?  I'll have her say Hi for ya.
    
    Lee

    Lee, I hop ethose schools realize what a fine athlete she is, and
    come up with a little dough-re-mi to help ease that financial
    burden.  Best of luck to Kerrie, and I hope she's back to 100%
    by next winter.
    
    NAZZ

    Thanks, Nazz.  And I hope your cahunas recover nicely, too.  :*)
    
    Lee

    Lee,
    
    Andy Cannon is his name.  Tell Kerrie to tell him that her father
    knows me, sort of.  Won't help her any, but he'll get a kick out
    of it.  
    
    He's real good, as his most of his staff.  An athlete hisself. 
    My best man. 
    
    JD

But does he have big cahunas, JD?

    Is a Chinese or oriental name by itself always funny to some of you
    guys?  I do not find that amusing.
    
    Charles

�    Is a Chinese or oriental name by itself always funny to some of you
�    guys?  I do not find that amusing.

   If you care to check it, Charles, in the last 30 notes there have been
   51 names mentioned as funny for one reason or another. Five of them
   happened to be Oriental. Nobody thinks oriental names by themselves are
   funny. Some oriental names also have English meanings, and mean
   something which people might find amusing (Some are practically
   hysterical), but the same can be said of some Hungarian names (right
   Hawk?)

   In other words, nobody's picking on orientals as a group....Just
   Chinese. HAHAHAHAHA (TM) ;^D (Just kidding Charles, lighten up)

   Mike JN

    Right, Mike JN!  I was thinking the same thing, but didn't have the
    filberts to say it.  CONGRATS!
    
    My parents used to yell out this Hungarian word "�csi" (g-spots really
    there!), which means "brother" or "little brother", that is very common
    in Hungarian when you're the youngest kid in the family.  Anyway, the
    way it's pronounced, it's sounds close enough to "itchy".  Guess what
    the neighborhood used to call me?!
    
    I agree- lighten up, Charles.  No offense intended.  No offense should
    be taken.......
    
    J�nos "Itchy" H�wk  :-)
    

When I was taking Russian, my Russian teacher who was from Russia
used to get the biggest kick out of my name.  She never would tell
me why.

The product I work on BASEstar, has a meaning in french slang that
isn't repeatable (BASE in french slang amounts to the f-word).

The language MACRO sounds just like the french slang for pimp.


Thus, many words and names from other languages can sound hilarious
in our own (and the converse is true).  

So, I think we're all doing what comes naturally to people the world
over.  Sometimes I think we all take ourselves and our perceived 
differences way to seriously when there's a helluva lot more important
things to worry about.  (like global warming) 8^)


JMHO,
'Saw

    ...and sometimes we don't take others and their differences seriously
    enough

Good point...

But sometimes we all take ourselves too seriously.  A great man
said that if you can't get up in the morning, look in the mirror
and laugh at yourself, then you're not a complete person.

Hell, the way I look, it's certainly very easy to laugh...8^)

Cheers to all,
Chainsaw

    Heck, on some mornings as soon as I get out of bed, my kids take one
    look and start rooooling hysterically!  I cain't help but start
    roooling myself!  Definitely a great way to start the day!
    
    H�wk

Yeah, I agree.  Laughter releases them FeelGood Hormones into your
body, and you just kind of feel triumphantly excellent.

That's why I like comedy shows and cracking jokes.  If everbody laughed
a lot we wouldn't have to value differences, because we'd all be so
happy no one would care.

And there are lots of things to laugh at.  Look at Lawrence Welk.  Every
time I see that guy I just about pee my pants.  And then there's 
Milli Vanilli.

See, look around you, find something incongruous and laugh at it.  Take
your boss for example.  I've never had a boss that didn't manage at least
once a week to be a horses ass.  So laugh.

When you get good at it, you can start taking ordinary everyday things
and think about them in new and ususual ways (Incongruity again).
Before you know it, you're laughing so much that your bladder strength
has increased, your tummy is toned, and you're happy almost all the
time.

Give it a try, really!

Chainsaw (who hardly ever pisses his pants anymore)

�    -< Valuing Differences wasn't brought into DEC just for laffs >-

   	True Macster! And as a Personnel weinie, I've had enough Valuing
   Differences Courses to choke a crocodile. Most people don't seem to
   realize that Valuing Differences is business related. It's not a
   `minority' program. EVERYONE has differences. Different upbringing,
   different economic realities, different cultures, religions,
   hairstyles, etc.  Some people even put the roll of toilet paper on
   backwards! It's gotten so that people use Valuing Differences like a
   club. `I'm a Buddhist, and Christmas music offends me... so stop it; I
   want to wear a dress and use the women's bathroom, so let me; I think
   it's fine to molest children, so value my difference.' That approach is
   crap! Valuing differences means that people have different
   perspectives, and listening to those perspectives makes good business
   sense, can help us put out a better product. People who are most
   obviously different will benefit most from the program, but the program
   is for everyone. I support the efforts of the various support groups to
   provide some insight into their particular cultures, because the more
   you know about someone's culture, the less strange they seem, and the
   more prone you are to accept them. This is all to the good. But Valuing
   Differences is a two way street. Those who want their differences
   valued must be ready to value the differences of others as well.
   Valuing Differences doesn't mean roll over and grab the vaseline. I
   think they'd  have been much better off if they had called the program
   `Value One Another'. It should be a vehicle to promote understanding
   between people, not a damned hit and run vehicle that has everyone
   afraid to say boo for fear of offending someone or other.

   Mike Johnston

    Well, one thing I got outta the last 50 replies....Frank and Hawk are
    funny looking.
    
    JoJ
    
    

    re:  .446
    
    Rich,
    
    I have been to the 
    Sports Museum.  I thought that for only $3.50, it wasn't a bad deal at
    all.  They have this Black & Gold Display, lotsa stuff on loan from
    Orr and Espo, that alone was worth the $3.50 and the hour drive.  We
    went on a Sunday and had no problem getting around. Of course, I went
    I like Boston teams so it was awesome.......Ted Williams original
    locker from Fenway......cool...
    
    wheel

Gee JoJ, if you thought I was funny looking before, you should
see me "sans barbe"....

Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk.....8^)


And Hawkster, I thought your ChromeDome(tm) was from too many u-turns
under the sheets!


'Saw

    > "sans barbe"
    
    Speaking of Barbie :-), I saw a tidbit in last night's paper that the
    Barbie doll is a scale model of a woman who measures 39-23-33!
    
    FWIW, FYI, HTH, and all that crap.....  :-)
    
    H�wk

Hawk, you are right.  I've seen that before.  No wonder Ken
always had that smile on his face.

BTW, for anyone who is interested, the french word "barbe", meaning
beard, has the same root as the word barbarian (i'm pretty sure).

So, now that I'm not a barbarian anymore, I guess I'm just a regular
old nice guy....


the New Chainsaw

    > ..... I guess I'm just a regular old nice guy ....
    
    Heiffer dust!  You're just a regular old *freakin' lunatic*!
    
    Ok, who's gonna have the filberts, besides me, to admit that they had a
    `thing' for Barbie at one time or another or a lot.......  :-)
    
    H�wk

Oh, did I have a thing for Barbie!

I was so jealous of Ken, with the beach boy good looks, and that
tan all the time.  

Barbie had these amazing Titles, and her little Acquisition wasn't
so bad either.  That made me even more jealous of Ken.

Then, all of a sudden one day, I realized I had something that Ken
didn't.  I had filberts.  Poor Ken, all those good looks and it 
wouldn't get him anywhere, since Hasbro, or Mattel or whoever had
forgotten to give him Filberts.  What a shame.

With that in mind, I put the moves big time on Barbie.  I sent her
flowers, I gave her candy, I even called in a girl from down the
street to do her hair.  It was all for naught.

Then, all of sudden one day, I realized why.  She'd been fooling
around with GI Joe.  I was devastated.  Crushed, I utterly destroyed
GI Joe's Footlocker, and then, it my ultimate maniacal state, I put
a GI Joe Hand Grenade down GI Joe's fatigue pants and blew his filberts
to Kingdom Come!

But alas, this time when I put the moves on Barbie, she responded.
Imagine my utter disappointment one day, when finally, finally after
all my overtures, she gave in, and I found out that, like Ken, 
she didn't have any equipment either.

I was crushed.  I picked up my ball glove, went outside, and have 
never looked back.....

(sigh, sniff)
Chainsaw

Yo Schleppin_Steve,

	The Hawkstah is roughly 34 I'd be guessing
	
	I'm 31.

And don't you forget:  We Knew Barbie when.


Chainsaw

Sorry, we've been running a bit behind over hear with all these goings on but I 
can't resist a couple of names additions:

I went to school with a kid named Shane Hinkibottom (sorry if you're out there
Shane).

I know a good Swiss named Pauli (pronounced in German like "owl")

who married a good Suissesse named Paula (pronounced like "owl" and "vaseline"

They had a good Swiss girl, and here's the good part, who is named:

Pauline


rick ellis

    Frank, you cain't (tm) Chromedome. It's a defacto (tm) and has been
    around for years. You cain't take credit for it.
    
    JoJ

�    Frank, you cain't (tm) Chromedome. It's a defacto (tm) and has been
�    around for years. You cain't take credit for it.
    
Sure I can.

I was the first to use it in here 8^)

Actually, that was the nickname we had for the Captain of our fire
company.  Meanest, nastiest b_____d you'd ever wanna meet.

In pursuing (tm) rights, it's similar to climbing Everest.  I will never
be the first person to climb Everest, since Hillary did that.  But,
if I climbed Everest tomorrow, I'd be the first SPORTS noter to have
done it (I'm pretty sure 8^))

So, that's why I threw the (tm) on there, just in case...

'Saw

BTW, the Healy CD was bitchin....

Okay, help this basketball neophyte.....


We were having a discussion the other day on picks.

What constitutes a legal pick.  What constitues a moving pick
(which is illegal, right?)

I know what a pick is, I just don't know all the details.

Thanks,
'Saw

 The picker must be stationary, must have occupied that spot on the floor
 before the pickee arrives another words he can't step in to the posistion 
 at the last second. I also believe he isn't allowed to use elbows.

 5% of the picks set in the NBA are legal the other 95% are not. in the
 obviously superior college game the reverse is true.... ;^)

    
    The rule in a filbertshell:
    
           You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but
           you can't pick your friend's nose.
    
    You're wholeheartedly welcome.
    
    Dickster
    

           WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?  THE JOE WALTON NOTE!?!?!?

   Mike JN

    re.482
    
    unless you're Joe Walton.
    
    Rule for TV
    You can prick your finger but don't.....well, you get the idea
    
    
    JaKe
    

    A moving pick is what the Cavaliers use in their offense.
    
    Dennis

But seriously, how long do you have to be stationary?

I mean, if I run to a spot where I wanna pick, and my teammate and
his defender are already moving, if I stop and am stationary when
I pick the defender, is that legal?

How bout some of you refs?

(See, we've been arguing about this on the playground for about three
weeks now....)

'Saw

 How long you have to be stationary is a judgement call. I believe though
 in the rule that if my step is to that spot and you step to that spot to
 pick me then the foul should be called on you. Just watch a college game
 Saw and you see'll the proper enforcement of the rule. The NBA's version
 of what's a legal pick is a joke.........

 mike

re Kev --

Just went and checked and it was in my mail slot (hadn't checked it
in two days!)  I am seriously Rollward!!!!!  Thanks loads.....


re Mike --

Okay, it sounds right to me.  Basically the argument was that 
if my teammate had the ball, with a defender on him, and I slid
off my man, stopped, and then my teammate moved and I picked his
defender, the claim was moving pick, even though I was planted.

I didn't know the rule, so I thought I'd ask....

Thanks for shlepping,
'Saw

    anytyme......

Yeah...

I loved it...  "Compute This"...  You don't know how many times, 
when I get an ACCVIO in the middle of something I've been working
on for a while, that I wish I could do that.

Just go in, take a Stihl with a 36" blade, and lay waste to some
VAXen....Argghhhhh!!!!

'Saw

    Maybe we should have a rematch of our Saturday afternoon basketball
    extravaganza, and I'll show CeeSaw how to set a clean pick.  Mike?
    
    Glass_Plus

I'll play again....

I'm not good at hoops but I have fun playing.  And Dan, you can
set a clean pick, but you hadn't better sweat on me 8^)

Don't forget the football game in the parking lot though.  This
year I'll bring traffic cones so that Dan can (clearly) see the
end zone out lines....

hope thos shelps,
'Saw
    

	.entry	accvio, ^m<>
start::	tstl	@#0
	.end	accvio

    If it's hoops, I'll clear my calendar and be available the first 3
    weeks of August.  (Actually I've got a week of vacation in NE and a
    2-week class, but what the hey.)
    
    If Gold Pants is available, perhaps our impressive 5-some could be
    reassembled!
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    Let me know... although August 4 is Tigermania....

         What school has produced the most NBA Rookies of the Year?

   

   	I'm not tellin' ya  yet.

   


   	Or yet.....

    I'd say it's between UCLA and UNC.  I assume Kareem was ROY, was
    Walton?
    
    Air Jordan was ROY...
    
    I don't know...
    
    JD

   	Here it is...
   

   	North Carolina    (you knew that, Chris)

   Bob Mcadoo - Buffalo 72-73
   Walter Davis - Phoenix 77-78
   Phil Ford - Kansas City 78-79
   Michael Jordan - Chicago 84-85

   Mike JN SPORTS ROY 89-90 received his Masters from the University of
   Northern Colorado, and is the only graduate of that institution to be
   so honored. (Shy smile, humble wave to the cheering throngs,
   surreptitious removal of booger which he flings at Frankwa.... Thank
   you... Thank you)

    If John is to Joan
    If Andrew is to Andrea
    If Patrick is to Patricia
    then Doogie is to what?
    
    Ok, sports related... I have to drive Monday from Boylston to
    Pawtucket.  What's the quickest way there?  Up to 495 and then down?
    Is there some shortcut in between like 140 to 9 to 495?  Other?
    
    -Walt

   Doogie is the diminutive of Douglas.... and the female 
   equivalent would, of course, be Doug-lass (notice I didn't say
   Dougl-ass? .... That's `cause I'm a gentleman).

   Mike JN

    Doogie iz sumthin mii dogg duz inn tha bak yard dat i hav too 
    kleen up oar i stepp inn itt.
    
    my
    

I've got a question for any of you literary geniuses out there, 
because I'm just plain stumped...

Last night I saw Dennis Miller on a Miller commercial.  He's
standing on a pier and he quotes from some poem, something
about feeling the need to go down to the see in ships, and all
he's needing is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.

I cannot for the life of me remember where that comes from or
who wrote it.  

It's a bitchin commercial, because just after he says that this
wicked cool tall ship comes out of the fog with this wild party
going on.  You can win a Windjammer party cruise or something
like that....

Any help would be greatly shlepped....
'Saw

    
    I'm no literary genius, but I play one on TV.
    
    Now, the poem in question just may be called something like "They
    That Go Down to the Sea in Ships," but the memory is weak.  It also
    doesn't make sense, since you go down to the sea in a car or a hellbus,
    and the ships are already there.  So I suppose the poem could be
    "...Go Down to the Sea to See the Ships", or perhaps "See Them That
    Go Down on the Ship".  I believe Walt Whitman wrote one about "See
    if You Can Go Out for Some Fish 'n' Chips", or maybe that was "Fishing
    Ships."
    
    I know it ain't "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" because that
    one's about some aging Seattle baseball player who is busted for
    conking a seagull with an errant throw from the outfield and kills
    the bird.  He's forced to carry the dead bird on the road with him,
    until he is relieved of it by Wade Boggs, who thinks it's take-out
    chicken.
    
    Sorry I can't be of more help.
    
    Dickster
    

Thanks dudes...

I guess I'll have to raid the bookstore on the way home.  I'm still
looking for Flander Field anyway.

But, if any of you other erudite literary types can come up with
anything, don't hesitate to let me know...

Poetically yours,
Chainsaw

    Well, I can narrow it down for you and will have the answer tomorrow if
    you don't have it by then.
    
    I don't think it's an English poem as I know most English Lit pretty
    well (except for the Realists).  Therefore, look for it to be in
    American lit which I pretty much abhor until the 20th century.
    
    I also don't think it's Sandberg.  Rhyne don't have too much time to
    write these days. :-)
    
    	--dan'l

    re joise killmer
    
    izn't thaat bily killmer's wyf????
    
    menotyou
    

    Oh yeah, it's definitely American poetry, from the late 1800s I think. 
    I still think it's Joyce Kilmer.  'Saw that poem should be in any
    Handbook of American Poetry or any old name like that.
    
    I must go down to the seas again, the lonely seas and skies,
    And all I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.
    
    It goes on for a while.  It could be Sandburg I guess, but I'll stick
    with my original.  Haven't read it since about 7th grade.
    
    Dan

    The lines are from the Fisherman's monument  in Gloucster harbor

Gee Dan, I love it when you wax poetic ;^)

Thanks for all of the help.  I've got a couple of poetry books, but
it's not in any of them.

It kind of struck a chord with me, since some of the ancestors on
my Dad's side were manly men of the sea...  

'Saw

    some how, i feel like   spraying my face with Old Spice  right about
    now...
    

    	Back in my sophomore year of high school, we had to
    	memorize a bunch of poems for English class. The
    	segment that 'Saw mentioned was part of one of the
    	poems. The only title I can remember is "Crossing
    	the Bar," although I have a feeling that 'Saw's
    	excerpt and Crossing the Bar are not the same.
    
    	"I must go down to the sea again,
    	 To the lonely sea and sky,
    	 And all I ask is a tall ship,
    	 And a star to steer her by.
    	 And the wind's kick and the wave's..."
    
    	That's all I remember. But, what the heck, I learned it
    	back in 1962.
    
    	Scott

Scott,

"Crossing the Bar" is by Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

I don't remember all of it, but it starts

	Sunset and evening star, and one clear call for me...


It is a different poem.

I'm still looking.  And gee, SPORTS fans, you have radically impressed
me with your knowledge of literary classics.  Perhaps the next noters
get togethers should take place with tweed jackets, pipes, and 
tumblers of whisky, while we discuss Sir Walter Scott's Ivanhoe...


later,
'Saw

    	My favorite was...
    
    	There once was a girl from Brazil,
    
    	Ah, never mind.
    
    				/Don

    
    /Don, we're talkin' sea poems, here.  You must be thinking about
    the "Man from Nantucket."
    
    Anybody know any good sea chanteys?
    
             "Goddam them all! I was told
             We'd cruise the seas for American gold.
             Fire no guns, shed no tears;
             Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier,
             The last of Barrett's privateers."
    
                          -Damned if I know the author
    
    Dickster
    

    	Hey, what kinda image are we gonna have if we continue
    	to spout poetry in SPORTS?
    
    	Scott

    Here's a sports poem!  You have to use an Irish brogue (sp?) when
    reciting it......
    
    		You take the high jump
    		and I'll take the long jump
    		and for all we know he's still traaaaaavlin'
    		for his private parts will never meet again
    		cuz they got in the way of a jaaaaaavlin
    
    Claybone

Shame on you Claybone!

Do ye no' ken that it's a Scottish song ye were singin' there...

Irish Brogue indeed! 

;^)
'Saw

    <insert sheepish look on face>
    
    Shame be on me lads......
    
    May it always be a warm breeze a blowin' up yer kilts FranWa!
    
    Claybone ;^)

Sea Fever    by John Masefield (1878-1967)
---------

I must go down the the seas again, to the
   lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer 
   her by;
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and
   the what sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey 
   dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again for the call
   of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that my not be
   denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white 
   clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and
   the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the
   vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way, where
   the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all is I ask  is a merry yarn from a laughing
   fellow-rover,
And a quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the 
   long trick's over.

�                   <<< Note 74.507 by CAM::WAY "Snakebit" >>>
� I've got a question for any of you literary geniuses out there, 
� because I'm just plain stumped...
� Any help would be greatly shlepped....

   I think Saw is about ready to throw me out of the Dead (or possibly
   comatose) Poets Society.
   First I can't remember who did Flanders Fields, and I haven't the
   vaguest who did that either. I remember:
   I must go down to sea again
   to the lonely sea and sky;
   and all I ask is a tall ship,
   and a star to steer her by.
   Isn't something from that poem on the fisherman statue in Boston (or
   wherever?)

   Mike JN

   Never Miiiiind.....

          (I wouldn't have guessed Masefield in a bazillion years)

   Mike JN

    
    .529 gets my vote for PoTY.  Great job!!
    
    Dickster
    

    Stephen = Honorary Member and Official Bar Rag: Dread Poets Society

'Saw Fever
(i.e. Pennant Fever)

With apologies to John Masefield and Steven Gaulke
---------

I must go down the the park again, to the
   lonely park and the sky,
And all I ask for is a homerun and a star to cheer 
   on by;

And a Boggs' hit and a Greenweel whiff and
   the SPORTS noters in the bleachers baking,
And a Clemens pout and a Brunansky clout, and
   the lowly Yankees quaking.

I must go down to the park again for the call
   of the Ump, "Play Ball"
Is a wild call and a clear call by the
   man in blue so tall.

And all I ask is a windy day with the centerfield 
   flag a flying,
And a Bucky Dent and a weak pop fly, and
   the Fenway faithful crying.

I must go down to the Park again, to the
   vagrant gypsy life,
To Ted's way and the Yaz's way, where
   the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all is I ask is a warm Miller Lite� from a laughing
   fellow-rover,
And a World Series win and a sweet dream when the 
   long agony's over

				/Don

    A Materpiece, /Don. You would do John Updike and Stephen King proud.
    
    Rich
    

And who says that SPORTS noters are an uncultured and unerudite
bunch?

I for one am proud of what I started here.  Like Jaime Escolante
bringing the magic of Calculus to East L.A high school kids, I
have brought the power of the English language (wif a little help
from a dead poet) to the masses of SPORTS notes....

Gee, next time I'll copy in Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade"
and see what we get....

Enjoy,
'Saw

    Bravo /Don y Estaban.  Que es muy Poetico?  /don o estaban??
    
    Albatros!  Oops, wrong poem.
    
    JD

    
    Ah, the Light Brigade!  With only half the calories of the regular
    brigade.
    
    Dickster
    

.
.
.
Stormed at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well,
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
   Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
Oh, the wild charge they made!
   All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made!
Honor the Light Brigade,
   Noble Six Hundred!

   How `bout

   Do not go gentle 
   into that good night;
   rage, rage against the 
   dying of the light.

   Saw'll know this'n, `cause he told me this guy's
   one he likes.

A fine choice, Mike.  My favorite by that particular poet
is "And Death Shall Have No Dominion"...also, I believe that
he was the first to coin the term "The Boys of Summer"....

Are you bringing the bourbon to the nexted meeting, or am I?

'Saw

    Hey Frankwa, is poetry a sport? I hear alot of poets sweat? Any truth
    to this...?
    
    JoJ

    	I was always partial to K-K-Kenny and the Jets.
    
    	For laughs that is...
    
    				/Don

�    Hey Frankwa, is poetry a sport? I hear alot of poets sweat? Any truth
�    to this...?
    
Poetry is the flight of a man's soul in its eternal quest for understanding
an fulfillment.  It is the embodiment of his hopes, desires, fears,
needs, and satisfaction.

Do poets sweat?  I'm not sure.  Samuel Coleridge Taylor
("In Xanadau did Kubla Khan a pleasure dome decree") most certainly
did.

Dylan Thomas had his (losing) battle with the bottle.

Many have died young (George Gordon, Lord Byron at 36, Percy Bysshe
Shelley at 30) and other have live to old age.

Is sports poetry?  Well, certainly in "Casey At the Bat" it is, 
or "To an Athlete Dying Young" (A.E Houseman) makes it so....

As they say in those IBM commercials -- You Make the Call!

FrankWa

    
    Do poet's sweat?
    
    "Opium was so easy for schoolgirls to get in the 1880's that Jane
    Addams and other undergraduates ot Rockford Female seminary near
    Chicago imitated the 'Confessions of an Opium Eater'.  All were
    disappointed that at not seeing the weird visions of its author,
    Thomas De Quincey."
    
                              *********
    
    "D. H. Lawrence, one of the most original and controvercial writers
    of the 20th Century, had a fancy for removing his clothes and climbing
    mulberry trees."
    
      Tell me *this* guy wasn't snortin'
     
                                ********
    
    And now related to SPORTS:
    
    "Rudyard Kipling spent five of the happiest years of his life in
    Brattelboro, VT in the 1890's. So that he could get outdoor exercise
    in the winter, he invented snow golf, painting his golf balls red
    so they could be located in the snow."
    
                              ********
    
    All quotes taken from "Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts", printed with
    Isaac's permission, of course.
    
    Dickster
    
    

    
    One more from Asimov:
    
    "In Thailand, kite flying is a big-league sport with established
    teams, umpires, official rules, and a national championship.  The
    competition involves fighting between kites controlled by teams
    of up to twenty men."
    
    Well, I guess sport is in the eye of the sportsman.  I think it
    may be a while before this gets into the olympics.  But then again,
    we have syncronized swimming...
    
    Dickster
    

    When I was in India we had some kite flying comps and it was wicked.
     You have a string that can if properly used cut other string, SO
    you try and cut down the other guys kite.  It is like a dogfight.
     Highly tatical and loads of fun.  If you win you get the guys kite.
    
    Nadeem

     re. -1
    
    If you win isn't the other guys kite string broken.  IE:  Kite
    mangled when it hits the ground.
    
    \pjb

    
    I thought the object in kite competition was to sorta bump or check
    your opponent out of the sky.  I'm pretty good at kiting checks,
    if I may say so myself.
    
    Dickster
    

>>I for one am proud of what I started here.

Only you could be proud of starting a poetry discussion because of a beer
commercial, 'saw :-).

j.

    Confused about this one yesterday at a Charlotte Knights (AA Cubs)
    game:
    
    Left handed batter from Orlando Sunrays.  Count is 1-1.  Home plate ump
    calls time, walks around to the front of the plate, and with his left
    foot edges the respective side of the plate.  He then has a few casual
    words with the batter.  
    
    The ump takes the batter's bat and edges the side of the plate again. 
    A few more seconds of discussion. The batter takes his bat back and
    edges the plate, then continues to draw a line to the back of the
    batters box.  A few more words are said and then the umpire goes back
    and calls the rest of the at bat.
    
    I could maybe understand this if they had been arguing over the strike
    zone, but it didn't seem like anything was said before this display of
    dirt drawing.  And the batter's temperament seemed quite calm.
    
    Anyone know what this was about?
    
    	--dan'l

Dan-l I believe they were discussing the size and location of the batter's
box....

mike

�Only you could be proud of starting a poetry discussion because of a beer
�commercial, 'saw :-).

And why not... two of my favorite things in life -- poetry and beer.

As Dennis Miller says: "Don't ya just love the classics?"


re the ump:

	My bet would be the batters box.  Why they were discussing
	it I couldn't tell ya, though....

'Saw

    
    Can anyone tell me the length of the Indianapolis 500 track?
    
    Thanks in advance
    
        ChrisM
    

    RE: Kite Fighting
    
    I first heard of Kite Dueling when we lived in Pakistan.  The string
    has glass particles on it, and the object is to either cut the
    opponent's string or to knock the kite down.  It was really amasing to
    see the skills that some of the people had in manoeuvering these kites
    without any difficulty.
    
    Just some trivia.
    
    Dallas Cowboys

================================================================================
Note 287.0                  WANTED B-BALL COURT SIZE                     1 reply
ISLNDS::CARLBERG                                      6 lines   5-JUL-1990 10:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    I'm looking to build a regulation basketball court. Can anyone tell
    me what the court dimension's are or point me in the direction as
    where to find them?
    Thanks in advance
    Mike
================================================================================
Note 287.1                  WANTED B-BALL COURT SIZE                      1 of 1
REFINE::ASHE "LA, The Spanish word for the..."        3 lines   5-JUL-1990 10:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    HS, College/pro courts are different sizes, aren't they?  Are the pro's
    94' long?  Not sure of the width, but I would guess around 50', based
    on the 3 pt. distances...
    

    College size is what I need for dimensions. Anybody out there have
    any idea?
    Mike

Note 289.0         LOOKING FOR LIST OF UPCOMMING SUPER BOWLS!!         3 replies
LEHIGH::SKIEST                                        3 lines   9-JUL-1990 11:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    DOES ANYONE HAVE A LIST OF WHERE THE SUPER BOWL WILL BE HELD FOR THE
    NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS????
    
================================================================================
Note 289.1         LOOKING FOR LIST OF UPCOMMING SUPER BOWLS!!            1 of 3
USCTR1::MSTEVENS                                     10 lines   9-JUL-1990 11:13
                        -< ROMAN NUMERALS NOT INCLUDED >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    This is the order I believe...
    
       1991 - Tampa, Florida
    
       1992 - Minneapolis, MN.
    
       1993 - Atlanta, GA.
    
    
================================================================================
Note 289.2         LOOKING FOR LIST OF UPCOMMING SUPER BOWLS!!            2 of 3
UPWARD::HEISER "trimmed & burnin'"                     1 line   9-JUL-1990 12:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    1994 - Phoenix, AZ.
================================================================================
Note 289.3         LOOKING FOR LIST OF UPCOMMING SUPER BOWLS!!            3 of 3
CAM::WAY "Never felt so good, never felt so right!"   8 lines   9-JUL-1990 13:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
< Note 289.2 by UPWARD::HEISER "trimmed & burnin'" >
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Sounds like yer flying fighters now...  How does the F-15 handle
in that hot Phoenix air?

'Saw
    

>CAM::WAY "Never felt so good, never felt so right!"   8 lines   9-JUL-1990 13:40
>Sounds like yer flying fighters now...  How does the F-15 handle
>in that hot Phoenix air?

    'Saw, a cold front came in, it's only 107� now! ;-)  The F15s are fine
    if you head north on takeoff.  Just a matter of minutes to reach mile
    high country.  360� rolls are great through the Grand Canyon. ;-)
    
    I'm not sure about the F15s, but they train pilots for them out here at
    Luke AFB.  The news hasn't reported anything unusual.
    
    Mike    

Note 291.0                        hurl or curl??                         1 reply
BTOVT::HYNES_F                                        2 lines  11-JUL-1990 18:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      A question. Is the name of the game that is played on ice with the
     stones and brooms hurling or curling ? 
================================================================================
Note 291.1                        hurl or curl??                          1 of 1
CSCOA5::SIMMONS_M                                     4 lines  12-JUL-1990 15:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The name of the game is Curling.
    
    Mike
    
    

Hurling, the infinitely more manly of the two sports, is considered
to be one of the Gaelic sports.

It is played with something akin to a club, and a ball, and I saw
the rules posted in the Celtic culture conference.  If I can find
them again, I'll post them in here for our mutual edification.

hth,
'Saw

'Saw,

When I was a kid I used to see hurling from some strange Latin-American
country on "Wide World of Sports".

If I remember correctly, it was played like squash but on a bigger court, and
the club-like thing used was like a hollowed-out banana, but 3 or 4 times
the size of a banana.  Anyway, the ball was about like a tennis ball and
the players whipped it around (with a motion like bowling in cricket) at
who-knows-how-many miles an hour.

schlepp this schlangs,

rick ellis

    Rick,
    
    Methinks you talk of Jai-Alai.  Hurling is played on a soccer-type
    field, by  manly-men of Ireland.  Possibly the roughest, most dangerous
    sport in the world....
    
    JD

    I thought Dwarf throwing was the most dangerous sport.  They may
    be small, but they have a huge temper.
    
    The Wizard

This is cross posted from the Celtic Culture note.  

Hope you find it informative, edifying, and interesting.

'Saw

                  <<< TALLIS::S2:[NOTES$LIBRARY]CELT.NOTE;1 >>>
                                 -< CELT 1990 >-
================================================================================
Note 2.0                        Rules for Hurling                      5 replies
BRAHMS::DARCY "George Darcy"                        101 lines  20-FEB-1986 00:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hurling is a favorite sport in Ireland.  The following are basic rules
of hurling, thanks to Seamus Power who works in Clonmel, in County
Tipperary, Ireland.  Hurling appears to be a cross between American
football, hockey, and soccer.  It's very fast paced and exciting for
both player and fan.


From:	KLOV05::S_DEPAOR     31-JAN-1986 08:12
To:	BRAHMS::DARCY
Subj:	RULES OF HURLING


HI GEORGE 
         THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY ON THE RULES OF PRO FOOTBALL. I WAS AWARE
 OF SOME OF THE RULES BUT NOT TO SURE OF THEM.  IT SEEMS TO BE A VERY TACTICAL
GAME. IF IT IS POSSIBLE I WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD TELL ME MORE ABOUT
THE PLAYERS POSITIONS.

THE GAME OF HURLING IS REALLY A VERY SIMPLE SPORT; ALTHOUGH PLAYED AT A VERY
FAST PACE.

HERE ARE THE POSITIONS AND SOME OF THE RULES



				:		:
				:		:
     				----------------				
				:  GOALKEEPER   :


  RIGHT CORNER-BACK	 	   CENTER-BACK	        LEFT CORNER-BACK	





  RIGHT HALF-BACK		   HALF-BACK		LEFT CORNER-BACK





                  CENTER FIELD             CENTER FIELD




  RIGHT HALF-FORWARD       CENTER HALF-FORWARD         LEFT HALF-FORWARD




  RIGHT CORNER-FORWARD        FULL-FORWARD        LEFT CORNER-FORWARD




THESE ARE THE PLAYERS POSITIONS ON THE FIELD OF PLAY. AS YOU CAN SEE 
THERE ARE FIFTEEN PLAYERS PER TEAM.

THE PLAYING AREA IS 150 YARDS X 80 YARDS.

THERE ARE TWO HALFS EACH BEING 35 MINUTES LONG.

THE REFEREE SHARTS THE GAME BY TOSSING THE BALL IN BETWEEN THE OPOSING 
TEAMS CENTER FIELD MEN. THEY TRY TO GAIN POSSETION OF THE BALL AND 
THEN TRY TO SET UP A SCORE.

IF THE BALL GOES OVER THE END LINE IT GOES DEAD AND THE GOAL KEEPER 
PUCKS IT OUT THE FIELD TO ONE OF HIS TEAM MATES. IF IT GOES DEAD OFF 
A DEFENDER IT IS GIVEN TO THE OTHER TEAM FOR A "FREE PUCK" AT THE 
SEVENTY YARD LINE.

IF IT IS STRUCK OVER THE SIDELINE IT GIVEN TO THE OTHER TEAM FOR A 
"SIDELINE CUT".

WHEN TAKING A FREE PUCK THE PLAYER, USING HIS HURLEY, MAY RISE THE BALL 
OFF THE GROUND AND STRIKE IT IN THE AIR.

WHEN TAKING A SIDELINE HE MUST STRIKE THE BALL WITHOUT TRYING TO 
RISE IT FIRST; ALTHOUGHT IF THE BALL IS STUCK PROPERLY IT MAY 
RISE AND TRAVEL QUITE A DISTANCE.

A PLAYER MAY NOT TAKE MORE THAN THREE STEPS WITH THE BALL IN HIS HAND.
HE MAY RUN AS FAR AS AN OPPOSING PLAYER WILL ALLOW WITH IT ON HIS 
HURLEY.

SCORES ARE ACHIVED BY PUTTING THE BALL BETWEEN THE UPRIGHTS FOR ONE 
POINT, AND BY BEATING THE GOALKEEPER AND PUTTING IT PAST HIM INTO THE NET 
UNDER THE CROSSBAR FOR A GOAL, EQUALING THREE POINTS.

YOU MAY NOT TACKEL A PLAYER FROM BEHIND BUT YOU CAN TRY TO KNOCK THE 
BALL AWAY FOR HIM WHILE RUNNING BESIDE HIM.
WHILE TRYING TO DO THIS YOU MAY TOUCH THE OTHER PLAYER ONLY WITH YOUR 
SHOULDER AND TOO HIS SHOULDER AND TRY TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE BALL.

FOR SHORT PASSING YOU MAY USE YOUR HAND, WITHOUT DROPPING YOUR HURLEY.
HOWEVER IF YOUR HURLEY IS KNOCKED FROM YOUR HAND YOU MAY KICK IT OR 
PALM IT WITH YOUR HAND.

    What's a SLOF?
    
    Deen to wonk me,
    
    Mark.

    Steam'in Loaf Of Feces.
    
    did i schlep 

    I must be really tired cuz everything anyone says has got me
    roollininnnggg!!!

Yep, Steaming Loaf of Feces was trademarked by yours truly,
as a euphemism for crap.

Actually, the expression is extremely accurate, and descriptive...

Debil Dog...  don't roll too hard.. you might hurt yesself...

STRATA::FELDMAN "go pats in 90"                       6 lines  13-JUL-1990 11:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    
    	does anyone know what happen to the NFL notes file ? and if
    you do could you please let me know the node name.
    
    	thanks
================================================================================
COOKIE::SIMON                                         3 lines  13-JUL-1990 11:51
                               -< new file name >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    it's now under
    
    STKCSC::AMERICAN_FOOTBALL
    

re. 563

>>    Methinks you talk of Jai-Alai.  Hurling is played on a soccer-type
>>    field, by  manly-men of Ireland.  Possibly the roughest, most dangerous
  
Yo JD,

Any more details on this Jai-Alai?

I can't imagine where I got the hurling business from....

rick ellis

Jai-Alai is a game of Basque origin, and is played on something
akin to a handball court, only much larger and the walls are, I believe,
granite.

The players throw the ball (called a pelota) off of the front wall,
and the objective is to get your opponento to miss the return.

What they're doing all this with is this mondo thingie on their hand
called a cesta.  It's curved and made of wicker.

In the States, it's a gambling sport.  The players go by first names,
because the sport used to be mainly played by Basques, and their
last names were nearly unpronounceable.  Nowadays, some Americans
are playing the game.

The Fronton, where the games are held, is like a big arena, with the
court up front.  The side facing the crowd is covered by a screen.

Jai-alai is considered the most dangerous ball game in the world, 
as the pelota (rock hard and slightly smaller than a baseball) can
travel at upwards of 150 mph.

One of the best players I remember was Zulaika, and I was always impressed
with him because he was naturally left handed, but the rules of jai-alai
require wearing the cesta on the right hand.

If I can think of anything more, I'll post it....

HTH,
'Saw

>In the States, it's a gambling sport.  The players go by first names,
>because the sport used to be mainly played by Basques, and their
>last names were nearly unpronounceable.  Nowadays, some Americans
>are playing the game.


	Hasn't there been some sort of strike going on?  I think the games
in Ct are being played by mostly non Basque scabs.

mc

Yeah, there's a strike going on.  I'm not sure who the replacement
players are.

I know that Americans were breaking into the game prior to the strike.

I've gone a couple of times.  I don't like betting on a sport with 
human participants like Jai-alai.  While the players take an oath, 
I've seen too many times where I have money riding on the game, and
a player will play a game where he makes these unconscious, amazing
plays, then on the simple littlest catch, he appears to catch it,
then drop it....  Bummer!

To watch it though, it is exciting.....  Perhaps we should have a 
get-together down here once the strike is over....

'Saw

    
    Jai-Alai one of only 2 sports that don't allow left handed players.
    Question:  What is the other sport?
    
    /pjb

   � Jai-Alai one of only 2 sports that don't allow left handed players.
   � Question:  What is the other sport?
    
    Golf ???
    
    Bob Hunt

   It's either Soccer or Synchronized Jello Moulding..... I forget.

   Mike JN