Conference back40::soapbox

    
    
    writing in this conference is what I do when I get bored  
    
    Sorry!! ;-)

    I kinda expected this !! ;-)

    Look for a note or reply from Levesque or Battis and reply to it.
    
    Self destructive behavior?  No, just pure fun.

    simple pleasures for small minds

  re.last
    
    Ahhh, I've tried...  If you like that stuff check out the last few
    replies in note 755.
    
    I thought that was a pretty funny note....
    
    Martijn....

    re .4
    
    Small Pleasures for simple minds....

    4.
    
    What ever it takes.... to keep them off street corners.

    LUNCHTIME!!!!

    re.9
    
    Almost home time here in the UK.

         Everyone knows what I do when I get bored. 

    leak sawdust?

         Guess again, tough guy. 

    Bop your baloney?

    Shoot harmless little critters like squirrels, birds, raccoons, etc.
    with a heinous firearm intended to go through 2 or 3 brick walls and
    still go through a person's head?

         Only because I can't shoot harmless BIG creatures, like hitch
    hikers. Now THAT would be a real hoot! 

    Just be careful, that bullet doesn't stop once it reaches its target. 
    It just keeps going, and going, and going...

         Naw, those guys earlier were right - the SKS is really a kinda
    lousy assault rifle. At least mine is Soviet made, rather than Chinese.
    The mini-14, on the other hand, is deadly accurate. Those .223's really
    keep going. 

    This conversation sounds hauntingly familiar.  My ex owns a gun exactly
    like that.

         If I get bored, I can always stir up some excitement by making a
    crazy call to another area. I start off with the phrase "Yeah, who's
    the clown in charge over there" and usually end with "Oh yeah? This is
    XXXX from the warehouse, and I'm coming down to straighten you out,
    tough guy". Then just sit back and watch the fun. You all should try
    that sometime - call a supervisor you don't really like and enjoy the
    fireworks. 

    
    	RE: .20
    
    	Hmmm, that sounds very familiar.  Where have I heard that be-
    	fore?
    

    re: .14
    
    > Bop your baloney?
    
    Wasn't that the title of one of those 70's disco songs that we
    were discussing the other day?
    
    Chris

 Eesh..now I have "Rock the Boat" going through my head.



 

    
    	Don't worry, Jim, I'll fix that.
    

    
    	"Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree,
    	 it's been 3 long years, do you still want me?"
    

 "Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me"

                        ESCAPE (THE PINA COLADA SONG)
                            Rupert Holmes    1979

I was tired of my lady,
We've been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording,
Of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping,
I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column,
There was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga,
If you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the cape.
I'm the lady you've looked for,
Write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady,
I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady,
Have fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper,
Took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet,
I thought it wasn't half-bad.

"Yes, I like Pina Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food,
I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon,
And cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's,
Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes,
Then she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant,
I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady,
And she said, "Oh, it's you."
And we laughed for a moment,
And I said, "I never knew..

That you liked Pina Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean,
And the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for,
Come with me, and escape."

"If you like Pina Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga,
If you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the cape.
I'm the lady you've looked for,
Write to me, and escape."

>If you have half-a-brain.

Another failed litmus test...

    Now I can't get that tune out of my head.
    
    

    
    	I can fix that also.  8^)
    

Safety Dance                                                 [we can dance]
Men Without Hats

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
(I say) We can go where we want to,
There's a place they'll never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
and we can dance.

Ah we can go when we want to, the night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
and surprise 'em with the victory cry
(I say) We can act if want to, if we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile

I say, we can dance, we can dance everything's out control   [we can dance]
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody's takin' the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance...

We can dance if we want to, we've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine

I say, we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody's takin' the chance Oh Well the safety
dance...

    Thanks, Shawn. I suppose next you'll regale us with a stirring
    rendition of "Tainted Love"...

    And if that tune is stuck in your head, try this one...it'll drown out
    all other songs:
    
    It's a small world after all, 
    It's a small world after all,
    It's a small world after all,
    It's a small, small world.
    
    
    
    
    Of course, the downside is that it is nearly impossible to get out of
    your head.  In fact, it is likely to challenge your sanity after only 
    short while.  And after long periods of time, well, it isn't pretty.

    Nope, none of those worked.

    > Nope, none of those worked.
    
    Try this:
    
    "Daddy was a cop..."
    
    Chris

    
    	I could get my two year old on the phone and have him
    	sing "Shake your booty" to you.  
    
    

    
    	RE: .32 [Doc]
    
    	Well, I would have, but the page I got the lyrics from said
    	SPECIFICALLY that "Tainted Love" wasn't included in the Soft-
    	cell lyrics list.  Sorry.
    
    	8^)
    

    But I *like* "Safety Dance"

    
    	Oh, so do I.  Immensely.
    
    	But not everyone has the same musical tastes as I do.
    

    Correction, no one does.  

    
    	I'll consider that a compliment.
    
    	Thanks.  8^)
    

    It was a compliment; however, you are still a weird one.

    
    	I'll consider that a compliment.
    
    	Thanks.  8^)
    

         Well, consider this an insult:: Your taste in music SUCKS!!! 
    

    Yes, I must say I prefer the Romantic period over the Baroque. It was
    just too restrictive to form.
    -ss

    
    	Ed, the day I start to care what you think of my musical tastes
    	is very probably the same day that I run around the Pentagon
    	naked with a battery-operated sexual device inserted into my
    	body.
    
    	However, I happen to like some of the same music that you do.
    	It's just that I have a wider range of interests and am not
    	afraid to stray outside of the growling-voiced realms of
    	death metal.
    

    Running around naked with a battery-operated sexual device inserted in
    the body is a common site in the Netherlands.

         Yeah, buddy, it would take a brave man to admit he likes "Safety
    Dance". Last time I heard that was on Beavis and Butthead. 

    
    	And just how brave a man does 1 have to be to admit watching
    	"Beavis and Butthead"?
    
    	The mind truly wanders, if 1 has 1.
    

    What was that other song they had in the late 80's. This has been
    bothering me for some time now because I hate forgeting. I'm sure you
    know, Shawn.
    -ss

    > Running around naked with a battery-operated sexual device inserted
    > in the body is a common site in the Netherlands.
    
    WHAT, you ran around with a battery-operated sexual device inserted into
    your body and showed it on dutch television !!!!!
    
    Shame on you....
    
    if you can't dance too (just thought of that)

    > The mind truly wanders, if 1 has 1.
    
    What if 1 hasn't 1. ?????

    I'm gonna get some coffee............

    Ahh. now you're talking.  That thick, strong, black, treacly, concoction
    almost like expresso but not quite?  Best coffee of all the DEC site
    that I've visited.
    

    yep, and I'm pooring it down my throat right this moment....

    
    	not rich enough, eh ?
    

    .57
    
    I think I'm missing the point here ....

It's a poor idea to pour coffee down your throat.  If you drink it instead,
it's less likely to go down your windpipe.

    Thanks for the tip,
    
    I always wondered why I gurgled for at least half an hour after each
    cup...
    
    (but I still don't see what it's got to do with being rich or not)

Reread my first sentence.

    Okay, got it....
    
    (I'm dutch remember, not perfect)

Yeah, that's why I didn't say "you spelled it wrong, stupid."

    'preciate it...

    Hey, Pommeran, do you know someone named Karem who works for 
    Digital JGO?

    I don't know him myself, but my colleage does......

    Tell your colleage to tell him April says "hi".  8)

    I will, if he's a nice guy I'll send him a mail to join this
    conference...
    
    Martijn.

    
    	RE: .50
    
    	"Where Do the Boys Go"
    

    Hi 'Pril,
    
    It has been a long time I've heard from you. How are you?
    
    A "Hi" back from Karem.

    Hellooooo, anybody there..........

    
    
    where?
    

    
    
    
    here !!

 What?

    
    
    This !

    .70  Karem, hi! I'm doing great...glad to see you in here.
    
    Yes, I am alive which is always a plus.   8)

    .76  Hi April, It's nice to hear you're fine. Why haven't you wrote me
    back? Didn't you felt like it or couldn't you reach me anymore?
    Maybe you are just bored; it's a petty, I liked to write with you.
    
    Write me back if you feel like it,
    
    Greetings Karem. 

    
    
    
    Oh he sounds nice, can I write him instead?!?!
    
    
    (don't mean to invade your conference, sorry!!)
    
    
    Vikki     ;-)

    Hi Vicki,
    
    Thank you, ofcourse can you write me. Everybody is free to write
    anybody. Just give it a try, maybe I like writing with you too.
    
    Karem.
     
    

     Oeps, I'm sorry. I saw it's Vikki, not Vicki.
     I hate it when someone spells my name wrong.
    
     Karem.
    

    Don't be so hard on yourself, Karen.

    
    You tell him, Glen.
    

    That was clever, Deborah.

    
    Thanks, Marc.
    

How do you say "whoosh" in Dutch?

                W   W  H   H  OOOOO  OOOOO  SSSSS  H   H  !!
                W   W  H   H  O   O  O   O  S      H   H  !!
                W W W  HHHHH  O   O  O   O  SSSSS  HHHHH  !!
                W W W  H   H  O   O  O   O      S  H   H
                WWWWW  H   H  OOOOO  OOOOO  SSSSS  H   H  !!, yah?
    
   
   


�1996, Raging Slab

    .86
    
    I think in Dutch it is "WOESH" or something. When tou write it this
    way in Dutch it sounds the same.
    
    
    Karem; another Dutchman.

>                          -< Are you learning Dutch? >-

Nej.

    
    
    This note is called R U bored. Well I'm bored so I'm searching for
    someone to talk(write) to. Yesterday I saw the American elections 
    on TV and in tehe Netherlands we don't understand the way it's going.
    Is it true that you have to be rich or have a sponsor before you can
    join the elections?
    
    Karem.

    Yes, you are correct.  The American elections are just like anywhere
    else in the free world.  Next question?

    In the Netherlands isn't it like that; here you don't have any
    commercials on TV. Every politic party get's TV-time for free. You
    don't need any money to become prime minister; your campagne will
    be paid by the party you stand for. They got the money from the 
    members. I think you are not allowed, they certainly don't like it
    here, if you are sponsered by a private company. I think the whole
    campagne will cost about 5 million(guilders, about 3 million dollar)
    Oh, so far as I know it is like the Netherlands in the most European
    countries.
    
    Karem.
    

    Please send me some of this free money.

    
    Well, you first have to start your own party and get some
    people who like your programm and are crazy enough to join
    your party and send money to you. Oh, to get your own party
    you have to be at least 25 years and you have to pay 10 or
    15.000 dollar.
    

    woesh

    Hey, a real Dutch "woesh"
    See, you are laerning Dutch.
    
    Karem.
    

    Don't let him get to you, Karen.

    Thank you, I'll watch out for him.
    If you can spell my first name you can call me MR. Diebels.
    
    Karem.

    Can I call you Pussy Cat?

    .92
    
    Based on my lunchtime reading it looks like I owe you an apology.
    You Netherlanders seem to have more control over money in politics that
    other European countries.   Congratulations.
    
    Colin
    

    According to the AMA, The Netherlands has universal health care that
    gives better service for less money than any other country.  I've been
    told that such a thing cannot be done.
    

You mean they have a 50% copayment?  I guess they don't go dutch.

    They also have 9 weeks vacation there. This certainly must help reduce
    health costs.

    It would seem that smokin' dope and runnin' around nekkid for nine
    weeks certainly does help one get a handle on social problems. 
    
    But I think I've found the key to the problem and it's not far from
    what Gerald guessed.  About half the income the Dutch earn goes in
    taxes.  That's why the political parties do not need any more money.
    Bummer, I thought I'd discovered Utopia.
    
    

    
    Colin, Utopia is a great fruit drink made by Coca-Cola. You ought to
    try it sometime.

Yes, I remember the Dutch bitterly complaining about how much they pay in
taxes.  I wonder if the fact that dikes are so important there has anything
to do with it.

    Let's keep pumping out the carbon dioxide.  We'll soon find out.
    

    
    they can always go into the tulip business.

More like water lilies.

The Dutch levee a lot of taxes cause of their dikes?

    
    The Dutch do not seem to have any external debt, and their exports
    exceed their imports by about $15 billion p.a.  Their national
    debt is only about $13 billion. 
    
    
    

    
    maybe the US could take lessons.

    Karem,
    
    So how much do the drugs cost out there?
    I would think they would be relatively cheap since it's legal. I'm just
    curious ya know
    :)_ss
    
    

    How nonchalant of you.

I hear anti-smokers can buy hash brownies in these caf�s.  Is that true?

    re .114
    
    Just trying to make pleasant conversation.
    :)_ss

    
    I will try to help you all.
    
    First our healthcare; I pay about 30 dollars a month for that,
    only people who earn more then 40.000 a year have to pay more.
    That 30 dollar includes every thing you can imagine, your psychiatrist,
    your dentist, you name it.
    
    We don't have 9 weeks; only teachers have. I have 37 days a year;
    about 7 weeks.
    
    Most of our taxes are for social security, we have a law for 
    everything. When you are sick, unemployed, or your husband(or wife)
    dies or when you are unable to work. Our dikes just costs a few
    miliard a year, not such a big deal.
    
    I will make a nice list with our drugs prices:
    
    weed: about 6$ a gram
    hash: about 8$ a gram
    cocaine: about 60$ a gram
    heroine: about 80$ a gram
    XTC: about 10$ a piece
    speed: about 20$
    crack isn't a populair drug here; almost not for sale.
    
    Yes, it is true. You can buy weed and hash around the corner but
    all the other drugs are forbidden. You may use them but not sell
    them. you are allowed to have 30 grams 'softdrugs'(weed & hash)
    and 1.5 grams of 'harddrugs' (all the others). It isn't clear how
    much XTC is allowed but don't worry, users are never prosecuted.
    
    I think I've answered all your questions. See you around later.
    
    Karem.
     

Karem

How long have the majority of drugs been legal in your Country, and what is the
crime rate like there.

    Drugs are (half)legal for about 20 years now. We have the lowest
    addict rate in Europe(and I believe in the world) and fewest
    drug kills again in Europe and I believe in the world. Our crime
    rate too is one og the best in Europe. People who are addicted
    will not be prosecuted but they get help and morfine to help
    them get off the drugs.
    
    Karem.

     I've been thinking; in Europe the crime rate should be less
     in Switzerland(Suisse), Austria, Norway, Finland and Sweden but
     they have all more people who are addicted then our country (in %)
    
    Karem
    

    
    it appears we should be taking lessons from your Country. 
    
    What is the drinking age there? and is there a probem with alcoholism?
    
    

    The drinking age is 16 years but people get drunk when they
    are 14 or 15 years old. You can buy(it isn't allowed) alcohol
    from that age too. Ofcourse we have got alcoholism but less
    then(again) most European countries. I think because of the
    support we have(for free) for all kind of addictions. If you 
    need help there is always someone around who wants to help.
     

    In some European cultures there is no drinking age and these are the
    cultures that have the least amount of alcoholism. e.g. Italy, alcohol
    is introduced at a young age. Wine is a beverage that is included
    during many meals and drinking is considered a custom. Although
    abuse/intoxication is frowned upon. I believe another factor is because
    it's introduced at such a young age and there are no "glorifications"
    about drinking there is no need for youths to feel they have to drink
    to become socially accepted. 
    
    

    
    I read that the prison population in the Netherlands was only about
    8000.  Some people only go to jail on the weekends and are let out to
    work their normal jobs during the week.  Apparently they hate this even
    more and the recidivism rate is lower than other countries.
    
    What's the thing with euthanasia?  it's dicscussed in a few papers, but
    the law seems odd - doctors get charged and then automatically acquitted?

    
    I think you read it wrong. We've got much more people in jail.
    It is possible you read something about a new project with prisoners
    who are almost finished. They can have a job(if they are intrested)
    and will be supported to avoid they are going to live the same live
    again. Most of the time somebody does it wrong again because he(she)
    has no(a poor) education, no job and the same(wrong) friends he had
    before. Most people who gets a job and other friends will not make
    the same mistake again.
    
    If the patient is incurable he can ask his doctor for euthanasia. The
    docter have to ask for a second opinion by a collegue. When it is done
    they get charged to see if they haven't break the rules. There are a
    few doctors who have been prosecuted but they only get a heavy warning
    they are not going to jail. Most of that cases are just routine and
    they do it only to keep an eye on things.
    
     

    < Thanks.  Interesting stuff.

    re .117 Karem,
    
    I'm there dood!!

    $6/gram = $12/joint.  That's a ripoff!

$6/gram = $171/ounce

    Ouch!  

    Hey, we have to consider the monetary conversion rate don't we?  They
    have to be cheaper than that.

    I think Karem was kind enough to do the conversion for us.  Hence the
    $.

    Ed, I just noticed that you must have missed that meeting too.  We`re
    probably better off.  Our job hunting skills are fine(not that we`re
    going to need any job hunting skills).  Are you a loner in your area
    like I am?

         Yes I am. It was just a resumee class, and I've got those things
    down to a science. That's how I got this job in the first place - they
    thought I was a systems analyst. I don't think Domino's Pizza is going
    to do an extensive background search anyway. 

    Large cheese with mushrooms, olives and anchovies Ed.
    
    If you don't get it to Nashua in 30 mins it's free, right?  

         Sorry, sir, we don't carry anchovies. 

    Free, and a bit moldy I'd wager.

    Hey, I use to deliver pizzas in Nashua for Domino's.  And no, they did
    away with that guaranty.
    -ss

    Dominos. Not the worse pizza in the world, but bloody close.

    No arguments here. I had that Pizza Hut triple decker last night. Mmmmm
    jalepenos.
    -ss

         Pizza is disgusting stuff no matter who makes it. Someone needs to
    start up a nacho delivery place. 

    Good idea.  As long as I can get anchovies on them.
          

         I tried anchovies once. ONCE!!!! 
    

    Pure nastiness
    

    Anchovies make me barf.  Now jalepenos, can't have a pizza without
    them!

    I need habaneros with my pizza.
    
    SSSSSSSMOKIN!

    Eww, I hate it when people smoke and eat at the same time!!

    No silly. Habs is the hottest!
    
    What a hoot, a Texan made poutine. I'll bet that is an absolute first.

         Never tried haba-whatevers. Sounds good. 

    Ed, sometimes I think you would eat the dirt from the sole of your
    shoe.

    Well, it's like this, if you touch Habaneros with your hand, you better
    wash your hand before you do something like rub your eyes or go for a
    whizzzzzz.

         I'm not afraid. Once you've tried Buffalo Bill's extra hot wings,
    nothing fazes you. 

    I'll bet I have a jar of something that would make Buffalo Bill jump
    out of his grave and run away screaming.

    What is it.

         Must have a picture of his wife in there. 

    Home made Trinidadian hot sauce. It's soooo hot you wouldn't believe
    it. I love hot stuff and I can't even hack a spoonful of this.

    It's essentially ground up pickled peppers. Mostly habaneros.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers?

         Say, Mr. Covert, aren't you on vacation or something in some
    strange far-away country? Something about the Autobahn and a train and
    Hungary? That note didn't make a whole lot of sense to me at the time. 

That's Andy Leslie.  Chunnel Shuttle, Autobahn, and Budapest.

I'm still here for another week before I go off to Le Mange Grenouille and
other Kerbecky endroits.

         I kind of thought it was strange for anyone on vaction to have
    access, much less note in. That would have to be one grim vacation.
    REAL boring here tonight - everyone went home! Amusing myself by
    watching a forklift trainee crash into things, chase people around, and
    in general wreak havoc throughout the area. Hey, there goes another
    stack of pallets!!! Next time remember that the pedal accelerates and
    the lever raises the forks!!! 

    re.128
    
    I think we misunderstand the weight; in Holland we make 3 joints
    out of a gram. Another thing is the quality of our weed. It is
    cultivated in a glasshouse under controled circumstances. I've 
    read that it is as strong as teh best hash.
    
    Karem.

Yeah, but you mix it with tobacco!

    Well, most people do but just a bit tobacco with it. You can still make
    two without tobacco but with tobacco it burns better. 

    Try "halfway to Pure Hell", "pure Hell" or "Scorned Woman" Chili Sauce. 
    They are guaranteed to get your endorphins flowing.  

� .164 by CSC32::M_EVANS "watch this space" >>>

�    Try "halfway to Pure Hell", "pure Hell" or "Scorned Woman" Chili Sauce. 
<chuckle>

kb

    
    Glenn, you are by far a braver man than moi.

    It`s very good grass in Amsterdam. And cheap n`all. A pleasant ambience
    of freshly brewed coffee and Bob Marley playing in the background.
    
    Allegedly.
    
    Of course,I wouldn`t know for sure.
    
    

    I'm calling for reservations as we speak.
    :)_ss

    Make sure you hook up with a reservationist and not a cancelationist,
    eh?

    I'm cancelled.