Conference back40::soapbox

    
    
    
    Well Don, it seems that you are moving on to different pastures.  
    I will miss you and your (sometimes) witty banter and your
    (occaisionally) thought provoking note.  The best in what awaits you, I
    heard that you weren't long for DEC and that you were considering other
    opportunities (don't worry, working the Dumbo ride shouldn't be that
    difficult for a gentleman of your ability).
    
    
    Cheers,
    
    Mike  

    I will miss you too Mr_topaz
    
    meg

Mr. Topaz,

This conference has been like a mistress in a good novel???

Is that the best analogy you can come up with in a farewell note??

I expected better of you. Your ability to conjure pictures in the minds' eye
has sadly deteriorated over the years, and I for one am glad to see you finally
hanging it up.

(There, that should put your fond ruminations into perspective).

Er-- they got any openings?

    
      I must need a cup'a...did Gem indicate leaving Digital (tm) ?
    
      bb

And wot the L is a 'demission' anyways?

Since your .0 is timestamped 9:51, does that make it a morning demission?

    
    "demission", should you decide to accept it... Mr. Phelps...
    

    
    well gem man, what was wrong with topic 41??? Not good enough for you
    was it??? I mean you had to lower yourself, and start your own good
    bye note. Well, I for one will not condone your weaseling ways of
    electronic fingerpainting. No i won't.
    
    Take care and don't let the door hit you on the way out. :-)

    Happy trails pilgrum! <using my best John Wayne voice>

    
    	Bye, Topaz.
    
    	It's been real, and it's been f-
    
    	Well, it's been real.
    

Seeya Don, and good luck 'n' stuff.

Chris.

    
    	see ya topes.....it's been interesting....;*)
    
    
    jim

    Bye Topesman.  :(

    aAAAAAIIIIIIIeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE :-(
    
    |-{:-(
    
    

    
    Jump. JUMP !!!

                <<< JOAT::DKA200:[NOTES$LIBRARY]EATS.NOTE;47 >>>
                -<  Restaurant Reviews, anywhere in the world  >-
================================================================================
Note 810.13             McQuale's - Worcester/Shrewsbury                13 of 14
xxxxxx::xxxxxxxx                                     11 lines  19-AUG-1989 18:23
                            -< My meals were good >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    I know this response is too late for your dinner plans, but I have
    been eaten there twice in the last month, once for dinner and once
    at lunch.  They do serve lunch out on the deck, but I believe that
    in the evenings it's just drinks and snacks.  At lunch, we were
    a party of 9, and they gave us our own "atrium", everyone was pleased
    with their meal and the service.  At dinner, the wine list was limited
    but our selection was properly chilled, our dinners of salmon in
    dill butter and swordfish were very good, and accompanied by fresh
    vegetables. Perhaps it's not the Castle, but then again, neither were 
    the prices.  For a good meal at reasonable prices, I think it's fine.
       

    
    <-----  she likes oral sex just about anywhere.

    
    
          So long Mr.Topaz.
    
    
          sincerely,
    
    
          Ed Bullock

    
    I remember writing a trip report as a DEC neophyte, on my first trip to
    the US from the UK about 9 years ago.  One line item in the report
    reads:
    
    	Was introduced to VMS writer Don Topaz, who yelled "No
        pommies!"
    
    At least, that's the way I remember it.
    
    G'bye Mr T.  You've been a good read.
    
    C.
    
    
                 
    

    
    kinsley leaves crossfire, topes leaves soapbox.  both helped keep
    the discourse lively and honest.  

    Are you kidding me?  Kinsley was a whiny little puke.

    
      yeah, topes is much bigger than Kinsley
    
      bb

    Right... thank you.

re: .20 (JackM)

>    Are you kidding me?  Kinsley was a whiny little puke.

"Yeah!  We need a show of just right-wing knee-jerk shouting.
Buchannan and Sununu!  Great team!"

You're disappointing, Jack.  You seem to think extra zeal can
make up for missing depth, and you're just wrong.

\john

    
    well I for one will miss his wit and candor. bye gem man

    /John:
    
    We need somebody from the other side.  That's the whole point of
    Crossfire.  I just thought Kinsley was a whiney little puke.  
    
    -Jack

That's \John.

    Uhhh....sorry

    
    If \John and /John get together, do they become |John?
    

    Pipe John?

XXIII?

    Not in Mass.

    
    	Who'll decide who "counts" when His Royal High-horse leaves ?
    

    You applying for the job? :-)

    
    	I don't think I can.  I'm not one of "Those Who Count", and
    	I don't have a high horse.
    
    

    
    tell you what Karen, I'll loan you you my rocking horse

    
    	I'm sure you need it more than I, Mark !
    

    rats.  one less voice to keep the rabble, if not honest, at least wary
    of getting dangerously exposed.  you'll be missed, Don.
    
    DougO

       [Background:  While co-moderator of this semi-esteemed conference,
       I received any number of mail messages, almost all of which I
       ignored.  In the interest of nothing in particular, I now post two
       such billets doux, absent the senders' names and with Nixonian
       editing as indicated.  --M. T.]
       
From:	xxxxxx::xxxxxx  "    "   26-JAN-1988 11:52:03.64
To:	CALLME::MR_TOPAZ,ALIEN::POSTPISCHIL
CC:	
Subj:	The Conference

Mr. Moderators,

I find it COMPELLING to tell you that I believe your conference has gotten
out of hand.  I have contributed what I felt would benefit the conference.
I will contribute no more. 

I did not ADD ENTRY your conference.  It was automatically added for me.
I do not know how, it just happened.  Perhaps I hit KP7 by accident one
day and low and behold, there it was.  I was curious, so I entered.
Never have I read so much dirt in all of my life.  Your conference
should be ripped right off of the VAX that allowed it in the first
place.  I do  not believe my eyes when I read "[expletive deleted] you
Santa Claus, or [expletive deleted] You  SOAPBOXERS".  
       

From:	xxxxxx::xxxxxxxx    "     " 20-MAR-1988 16:32:55.20
To:	CALLME::MR_TOPAZ,xxxxxxxx    
CC:	
Subj:	Request permission to write a note.

Dear Mr. topaz,

Am requesting permission to write notes in conferences within DEC without
being questioned by you as to whether or not I am allowed to write notes
to such person.

Not referring to Soapbox specifically, but to all conferences in general 
within DEC.

Thank you.
xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx
       

I'm just hoping that as you winnow your way through the archives, you
run across a copy of a note you posted many 'boxes ago, wherein you
helped broaden our horizons by enlightening us as to the characteristics
and values to be found in other various and sundry conferences on the
Enet.

It was a classic, for sure.

    Hey Don! If you're ever passing by Ottawa, please do!

    
    << passing Ottawa
    
    wow, that must hurt, worse than kidney stones I imagine.

    Nothing like passing the Sears Tower.

    So did he ever say WHERE he iz goin', WOT he's gonna be doin', & WHEN
    he's leavin'??
    
    |-{:-)
    

    
    Can't say, hush hush.
    
    ;^)
    

       re .44:
       
       Yes, but not necesarily to you.
       
       --Mr Topaz

    Aaah...  Sound of an InfoFix slidin' home...  Tnx!]

    
    	is he gone yet ?
    

    he's not leaving.  he can't be leaving.
    he will not leave.  i forbid it.

    
    	Oh, just let him go.
    

    Yes, before the plagues start!

  .49  i share the sentiment, Oph.  this is a bummer
       of major proportion.

    
    	I know what you mean.  When he's gone, who can we trust to
    	tell us if our replies, our lives, or our beliefs are too
    	mundane to discuss ?
    
    
    
    

           <<< BACK40::BACK40$DKA500:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SOAPBOX.NOTE;1 >>>
                          -< Soapbox.  Just Soapbox. >-
================================================================================
Note 574.1                       Labor Unions??                          1 of 50
CALLME::MR_TOPAZ                                      3 lines  26-OCT-1995 16:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       > any idea where I could find info on [anything]
       
       Certainly not here.

    
    well karen, Oph does a great Topes impression.

   .55  i'll bet you liked "new Coke" too.

    i like the real thing.

       From the archives, two lovely notes from the only other conference
       that has ever shown the potential to make Soapbox seem
       businesslike by comparison.  The first note explains what has
       happened to all those missing children in California, the second
       is cutting-edge literary angst.  As a bonus, I offer 100,000
       quatloos, the largest prize ever offered, to anyone who
       successfully diagrams the main sentence in the second of the
       following notes.
       
       At your historical service,
       
       --Mr Topaz
       


               <<< IOSG::LIB0:[NOTES$LIBRARY]CHRISTIAN.NOTE;1 >>>
================================================================================
Note 288.0                  The Reality of The Battle                  2 replies
xxxxx::xxxxxxxx                                      40 lines  19-NOV-1987 18:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi:

As I was driving out to lunch I was listening to the 
radio to Paul Harvey who began talking about his Saturday
show on which he would talk about the danger of the "Satanic Cults"
in the U.S.

He mentioned a person in California who said that "1 out of 5 children 
who are missing in California have been eaten".  

This I assume is as a result of the above mentioned cults.

...


       
            <<< GOLF::DISK$COMMON:[NOTES$LIBRARY]CHRISTIAN.NOTE;2 >>>
================================================================================
Note 161.7                   WHAT ABOUT IT SINGLES!                      7 of 11
xxxxx::xxxxxxx "xxxx"                                38 lines  25-FEB-1992 09:33
                           -< THANKS TO ALL OF YOU >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well golly I am happy to hear that there are others out there that feel
    as I do, lonely, yet waiting to see what God wants, for us.  Yes I
    think that if it is what He wants it will be, and that is good, the
    hurts from the past I believe were mistakes, and God knows all, and He
    is in control, and I finally know that what will be will be, because I
    do have Him on my side.  This note to me is a good thing, cause now I
    really know that I am not out there alone, and going to church I do
    feel funny, sitting there by myself, I know that I am not alone He is
    there, but what I am saying is that there is no gentleman with me, but
    God always is, yet it feels lonely at times, to have a companion to
    share my thoughts with and talk about what God has done for me, I have
    seen Jesus, don't laugh, cause I really did, I was very ill, to the
    point of my doctor telling my mom that I was dying, got the last
    Rights, and was ready, and there He was at the foot of my bed, I was in
    so much pain, before and when He was standing there, the pain stopped
    and He had His hands out to me I could see the holes in His hands, and
    I was at so much peace that it was unbelievable, I thought that I was
    crazy, but my minister said no that I was talking out loud to someone,
    the light was bright, and yet I could see a kind smile, and the hands
    waiting for me, well then He stopped me, and I wanted to go and have
    the peace, but one of His hands went back, and one stayed forward, and
    I seen 4 fingers, and I said my children and I saw a nod, and He was
    gone, but my minister told me that noone had been near my bed for the
    past hour, and I was all questions, but I really never had the peace
    that I had that day, He is a wonderful healer,and my husband came in
    and did not believe that I was dying, and started to say mean things,
    we were on the verge of a divorce at that time, and all my life I just
    wanted my children, and the white picked fence, and did not get that,
    Instead I had an alcoholic husband, and we parted, but I did get one
    thing and that was more faith, I did not trust for too long, because I
    was afraid of being hurt again, well God knows that I am a good person,
    and that someday I will find a mate, if it be His Will.  But thank all
    of you for replying and thinking about a file for us, single people
    that want a man that God will find for us if it be His will.
    
    God Bless
    You all
    xxxx. x

    
    well gem man, do I get 100,000 quatloos if I can guess the author of
    note 2????

    That certainly was a long sentence. Yes it was.

       re .59:
       
       You're probably the ex-husband.

    I think the first one reads better with the addition of two little 
    commas. 
    
    
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Hi:
    
    As I was driving, out to lunch, I was listening to the
    radio to Paul Harvey who began talking about his Saturday
    show on which he would talk about the danger of the "Satanic Cults"
    in the U.S. ..............
    

    Long sentence indeed...with many, many commas.  8^) (note 2)

    While some of you may find this difficult to believe, I'm going
    to miss Mr. Topaz. Even during the most heated of our exchanges,
    virtually everything he wrote made me laugh. Better still, most
    everything he wrote hit home. Like a bullet. Not only would I
    enjoy a good chuckle when Mr. Topaz was having his way with me,
    but I would always learn a valuable lesson. Mr. Topaz has an
    uncanny ability to expose the self-important bigoted egotist
    that, from time to time, finds at least a temporary home in all
    of us. In short, Mr. Topaz is the ultimate reality check. With
    rapier wit, he slices and dices to the heart of the ego monster.
    I'll miss that.

    I'll also miss his intellect. All of the heroes in my life
    were culled from the egghead end of the gene pool. Einstein.
    Chomsky. Russel. Hawking. I admire most a great mind. Mr.
    Topaz is about as sharp as they get. If admittance to the
    ranks of "those who count" is based on intellectual measure,
    I daresay Mr. Topaz has little company.

    Thank you Mr. Topaz, for the humor, real-time error correction,
    and even the occasional bit of useful information. An
    unprecedented volume of work will keep me from bidding you
    farewell tomorrow, but I thought you should know that at least
    one of those who do not count will miss you.

   -b
    

    
    	Well done, -b.  Don says the check is in the mail.
    

    What Brian really meant to say was, "Mr. Topaz, please leave us and be
    done with it so I can begin to enjoy myself again without having to put
    up with your tripe about minutiae and ululating and debunking North
    African slavery. Oh yeah, and your stupid little anagrams."

    I've been setting my clock by that diurnal tripe, I'll
    have you know.
    

    I would put my clock next to something else.

       re .64:
       
       You're still giddy about learning that you, too, are authorized to
       use a bidet.

    re: Brian's virtual eulogy
    
    1) usually you wait until the people are dead to start heaping it on
    so thick
    
    2) notice how Brian had a perfect disclaimer: "now 90% fulla
    gadinkydust" :-)
    
    and BTW, "Not only would I enjoy a good chuckle when Mr. Topaz was 
    having his way with me," provides the most amusing mental picture this
    week. Thanks. :-)

    
    
    
    I can't tell you all how disappointed I am that I won't be there to see
    -b and Mr. Topaz in full embrace with the tears rolling down their
    cheeks.  Someone take a snapshot for me, eh?
    
    
    Mike

    
    I'll forever be thankful for ululate.
    One of the funniest and most accurate words I've ever seen applied.

    
    .64
    
    Jesus -b, the man is leaving Dec, not planet Earth. like the good
    doctah pointed out, save it for his funeral. On second thought, gem
    man is far to mean to die, so froth as you wish.

    
    Well. You see. In the past, Mr. Topaz and I have had some unkind
    words for each  other. However, the reason why Mr. Topaz now
    occupies a special place among the box alumni is that he meant
    every nasty word he's ever written. You _have_ to admire someone
    who would say this:

    {picture the box crowd assembling at the !Joan bash:}

    ME: "Hi, I'm Brian Markey"

    DON: "Oh. How nice for you."

    If, like me, you like to rise above the usual box din of "oh
    you great big poo poo head" and venture into more creative and
    caustic epithets, one could hardly find a better mentor than
    our Mr. Topaz.

    I know I'm not the only one to enjoy the Topazisms. I suspect
    that Our Jack has the very same streak of masochism and likes
    nothing more than a good taunting.

    Box insults will never be the same.

    -b

    
    -b, you and gem man trading unkind words???? My god, what an
    understatement..... bwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    
    {ahem}  now, how much did he *pay* you to write those nice things???

    
    Don't worry. I'll trash his ass when he's outta here. :-)
    
    -b

    I have personally thrived on Mr. Topaz' indignant diatribes toward me
    and will miss them very much.
    
    Topes, you are a legend in your own mind and I appreciate that.  Gene
    is no longer lord Hemmerhoid.  This monumental distinguishment has now
    been bestowed upon you.  You are no longer the Sultan of Swill oh defender 
    of the lawless, defender of nasty, horrible cultures, and the king of ga 
    ga doo gooders.  May God's grace be with you in thy new kingdom!
    
    Your pal,
    
    -Jack

    .77
    
    > I have personally thrived on Mr. Topaz' indignant diatribes toward me
    
    Pity the converse wasn't true.

    I've worn converse, good basketball shoes.

    
    <--- red ball keds were better

    You should have worn a jock.

ZZ     Pity the converse wasn't true.
    
    Oh well, poop happens!

    
      As usual, I'm not sure what topaz revealed.  Is he gawn yet ?
     Where'd he go ?
    
      bb

I understand he assumed a Lotus position.

    Please make a Note of it.

    Is that something like "the crash position"?

    I bet he starts to feel like *I* did when I joined Pr1me after the REAL
    hotshots left to start Apollo.  Like "I thought this was a cool
    company... where'd all the cachet & real smart dudes go?"  Took a few
    years, but that feeling set in, in spades.  Must be there already. 
    Poor Topazeleh.  
    

    who died?

    One Who Counted.  & he didn't die, he left.
    

    
      isn't lotus now a ghetto within ibm ?
    
      bb

    I shouldn't doubt it...
    
    IBM all around 'em...  Web around THAT...
    
    Not an happy lot, I bet.
    
    But then, I am prolly just whistling beside the graveyard.  Those
    suckers still know how to MARKET.
    

    >> But then, I am prolly just whistling beside the graveyard.  Those
    >> suckers still know how to MARKET.
    
    Yeah?... then explain Improv...
    
    Chris

    Sorry to have missed your exit Mr. Topaz.  May the road rise with you
    and the birdies (of whichever hue) come aplenty.
    
    Slan
    
    -Dermot