Conference back40::soapbox

    After having seen Casper, I really believe that women can look forward
    to having whispered in their ear:
    
    "Can I keep you?"  

    
    well Nancy, we could share with you our collective mating experiences,
    but keep in mind, this is a family notesfile.
    
    My personal favorite is man to a woman in a bar, "Do you use eggs in
    your brownie recipe?"  " I wouldn't know, my husband does all the
    baking"

    
    Does this topic bear the `Seal Of Disapproval'?
    

    
    
    No wonder yer still alone, Mark........

    
    Heard in a red-neck bar....
    
    
    "Hey Baby!!! Nice tooth!!"

    You don't sweat much for an overweight person!

I'm sorry, that's all I can share.

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
    
    WOO WOO WOOOW OOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
    YEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Dunno, haven't found one that's worked yet.

Chris.

    Grazing?... or mating?:0
    

    You know if I wasn't married, I'd marry you! 

    
    I bet you a dollar.......
    
    pol  :>>>>

    Got off the internet (don't be offended)
    
    
    Thats a great dress, it would look great crumpled up in the 
    corner of my room tomorrow.

    YAMAGACHI!!!

    
    "PRETTY LOUD IN HERE. EH?"
    
    Don't laugh, it worked.
    

    Isn't she a skater?

Woman to man at the bar: "What's your sign?"

Man:  "I'm slippery when wet, you must be soft shoulders and dangerous 
	curves."

    
    	Some girl with psychic powers,
    	she says, "T-Bone, what's your sign?".
    	I blink and answer "Neon",
    	I thought I blew her mind.
    
    	From "Existential Blues"
    

    
    "If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?"
     

	I don't hate you because you're beautiful!

    Man to Woman: "maybe you could buy me a coffee later."
    
    The beauty of this line is that the male need not feel rejected SHE is
    the one who is buying the coffee. Not only that but she wont get any
    fancy ideas about how much money she could soak you for later.
    
    Once I asked a girl if she "would like to see my lamp, it's a really
    cool lamp." She was floored, she came over but I don't think she ever
    saw the lamp. Too bad it is a cool lamp, still have it as amatter of
    fact.
    

    
    True story, how I met my wife
    
    We were at a candy vending machine, my wife-2-b arrived just a moment
    before me and was looking at the selctions.
    
    I said "What looks good?".  
    
    She smiled
    
    Mark
     
    
    

How about, Man says to Woman:

	"Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Frank?"

    You baby make me feel like I'm a King.  Why don't you come over here
    and be my queen? [seriously said to a friend of mine]
    
    

    
    	Sounds like it could have been lifted right off a cue card from
    	"The Dating Game".
    

    We have a contract worker where I work whose badge number is 14. Every
    morning when he comes in he shouts "14 in!" to the guard at the desk. I
    don't know if he uses the same line at bars.
    
    	Mike

    
    .27
    
    Sounds like he spent time in the big house.   :^)
    

    
    "I really like your peaches, want to shake your tree...."
    
    
    
    The scary part is that it worked....
    ;-)
    

    What, you shook, and something came down on your head?

    pardon me, but do you muck like a fink?

    Only when cunning stunts are involved.

    oh, so you like to watch?

    
    >oh, so you like to watch?
    
    Like to watch what Bonnie??
    
    Are you talking about something/someone you read about in a book???
    

    
    	Sounds like those National Geographic books are getting better
    	as the years go by.
    
    	8^)
    

    That would be `National Graphic' magazine?

That reminds me of the NY Graphic, a daily paper of the '20s (?) published by
Bernarr [sic] MacFadden.  It was so racy that its detractors call it the
Pornographic.

    yes, andy, i ordered this book by jerzy kosinski.
    it's called "being there".  the main character was
    forever watching.  he liked to watch.  
    
    strange book.  

Great Peter Sellers movie.

    
    	Yes, it was.
    
    	I'll have to watch that again ... it's been a long time since
    	I last saw it.
    

    Shirley MacLaine did a nice job in that bedroom scene.

    
    	Oh, is that who the female lead was?
    
    	Maybe I won't watch it again.  8^)
    

You will in another life.

       The out-takes shown during the credits were very, very funny.
       
       I liked to watch those, too.

     i used to sing that Steve Miller song to my first wife many moons
     ago. you wouldn't believe the peaches on that woman!

| <<< Note 570.45 by WMOIS::GIROUARD_C >>>

| i used to sing that Steve Miller song to my first wife many moons
| ago. you wouldn't believe the peaches on that woman!

	chip...steve miller is a woman? and what kind of peaches???

    You midnight toker, you!

    
	>chip...steve miller is a woman? and what kind of peaches???
    
    
    	The kind with the hairy pits, of course.
    

    
    I love "Being There."

    Chauncey Gardner was even my p-name at one time...

    And Shirley McLaine (sp?) is a terrific actress and a great
    performer. An extremely talented woman. A bit flaky in the
    religion department, but I've most definitely heard worse...

    She was also brilliant in "Postcards from the Edge."

    -b

    |A bit flaky in the
    | religion department,
    |but I've most definitely heard worse...
    
    I can't imagine where...

| <<< Note 570.48 by BUSY::SLABOUNTY "Antisocial" >>>


| The kind with the hairy pits, of course.

	Steve Miller is European? WOW! I've learned so much about this guy
today!

    
    > i used to sing that Steve Miller song to my first wife many moons
    > ago. you wouldn't believe the peaches on that woman!
    
    Make up your mind, are you talking about peaches, or moons...
    ;-)
    

Isn't it the closing scene of "Being There" where Chance "walks away"?

    I've always liked the "variant" line from Carl Perkins' "Matchbox"
    (probably better known as a Beatles cover, sung by Ringo):
    
    "If you don't want my peaches, honey, please don't shake my tree"
    
    Chris

The peaches metaphor was used in the '20s and '30s.

    Ah yes, the dirty thirties.

    
    But they worked hard then. 28 hours a day, with a 900 mile commute
    each way. Not like these kids today with their mountain bikes.
    Nosiree.
    
    -b

       re .53:
       
       The closing scene is indeed where Chance walks away (where others
       might be damp to tread).  During the closing credits, though, they
       show out-takes from a scene where Chance is on a doctor's table
       and tries to relay the message about Ramon (or whoever).  Even if
       it had been a crummy movie (and Being There was far from that), it
       would have been worth sitting through the whole thing just to get
       to the credits.

   .54  Taj Mahal used it sort of like that too.  

	if you don't like my peaches, baby, you don't have to
	shake upon my tree.

    .59
    
    yes, i remember now.  he's walks on a pond with a cane...

    > i used to sing that Steve Miller song to my first wife many moons
    > ago. you wouldn't believe the peaches on that woman!
    
    That hairy, huh?!

    well Glen, it comes as no surprise to me that you'd ask about the
    peaches.

    Dan, the moon was nice but i've always been partial to very large
    peaches.

    
    
    
    IF I SAID YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY WOULD YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME....
    

    
    	There's a new one.
    
    	8^)
    

    Would you like to go back to my place, bouncy bouncy.

| <<< Note 570.63 by WMOIS::GIROUARD_C >>>

| well Glen, it comes as no surprise to me that you'd ask about the peaches.

	Cuz they're fruits? 

	That's quite the snarf you got there!

    
    <-------------
    
    I gotta try THAT ONE!
    
    ;-)
    

    
    
    then there's alway, wine me, dine me, 69 me......

    mike!  i'm shocked, shocked.

    
    
    Well quit sticking that fork into the electrical outlets. :')
    
    
    

    
    
    
    
    Hi, do you boff (sic) or do I owe you an apology?

    >mike!  i'm shocked, shocked.
    
     Yeah. We know Mike isn't into wine. ;-)

    
    
    interesting personal name there, Doc.  Good thing Don ain't running his
    anagram program...... :')

    I say it's recognizable, it's (according to some) thus obscene, & I say
    that absolute Bonapartistic Power has done its corrupting worst on Our
    Doctah.  I mourn the loss of his rectitude, I do.
    
    |-{:-)
    

    What's your problem? Hmmm?

    Moi?  Have a problem with Your Excellency?  Surely not.
    
    Anyhoo, you seem to have recovered.