Conference back40::soapbox

	Barely Manigable.....

 I will follow him, by Little Peggy March

    
    "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jack. Having you rip my spleen out
    and using it for skeet practice is preferable to hearing this song.
    
    -b

    
    
    	*anything* by Bob Dylan...... or Tom Petty.
    
    
    	yecch!
    

    anything by the late Mr. Cobain.

    
    Oh, and Tiny Tim's "Tip Toe Through The Tulips" has got to
    be on this list as well, even if it was intentionally
    awful.
    
    -b

    
    
    I hate this song.....
    
    
    All by myself....don't wanna be all by myself anymore.
    
    Who sings it, anyways??
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    Um...Eric Carmen?

>    anything by the late Mr. Cobain.




  I'm not an MTV watcher, but when ever I'm channel surfing and come across
  MTV it seems that Cobain is on there, or that bozo cartoon with you know
  who and you know what head.




 Jim

    
    The first song by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam.  I believe the whole song was
    sung off pitch.
    
    I liked a couple of the subsequent songs.
    
    jeff

    
    
    Two Words:
    
    
    
    Yoko Ono.
    
    
    Walter
    
    
    

      Remember that song that went "I think I'm going insane, oh my..."
      It was absolutely nauseating.

"They're coming to take me away"? Don't know the author.

Rush did a knock off of this as a parody of Perot.

TTom

	Too much, too little, too late by Denise Williams and Jonnie Mathis.
Talk about a song sung off key? They made Yoko Ono sound good. 

    
    
    There's another similar song also...
    
    "I'm turning Japanese, oh yes I'm turning Japanese, I really think so."
    
    
    
    :*)
    Terrie
    

	Terrie, do you know what that song is about? (btw, it was done by the
Vapors. I have the album.....)

	just for you, James -

	mi mi mi

	"See the tree, how big it's grown, but 
	friend, it hasn't been too long - it wasn't big..."

	

"They're Coming to Take Me Away" was by Napoleon XIV.  The B side was the same
thing backwards.

Any list of the worst vocalists has to include William Shatner doing
"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

    
    
    No, Glen.  I don't know what it is about...enlighten me....
    
    
    
    xO
    Terrie
    

...anything by any Osman: Marie, Donny, et al...

| <<< Note 329.18 by NOTIME::SACKS "Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085" >>>


| The B side was the same thing backwards.

	I bet it had a bunch of satanic sayings in it.... such an EEEVILLL song
it must be..... 

| Any list of the worst vocalists has to include William Shatner doing
| "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

	We have a winner!

	Who are the Osmans????? Were they like the Jacksos?

 re .17




ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    A few years back I saw a video of the Butthole Surfers, they get my
    nomination for the worst vocals (forget the song) and the worst band
    name.

    
    It's my basenote so I guess I can rathole it - years ago, there was
    a DJ who had a "make it or break it" feature periodically on a random
    song.  He'd play it, then offer a free tee-shirt or pizza or whatever
    to the 20th or 50th caller.  He'd get over a hundred responses.  All
    you did was call W<mumble> and say "Make it !" or "Break it !"  A half
    hour later, they'd announce the vote and either play it again, or the
    satisfying sound of a record being mutilated.  Does anybody know the
    DJ or station or whether they still do this ?  I seem to recall a very
    high "Break it" vote for something about love in the desert, sung by
    somebody named Phoebe Snow ?  Does anybody remember this awful song ?
    
      bb

   Re: Shatner
   
   Sorry, I think Nimoy's rendition of Proud Mary ranked much lower than
   Shatner's.

    
    Er, Midnight At The Oasis?  Wasn't Phoebe Snow, though; who WAS that?
    Oh yeah.  Maria Muldaur (sp).

    Who was it, Jack Jones who did a song called either "Hey, Little Girl"
    or "Wives Should Always Be Lovers Too" (both are prominent "features"
    of the lyrics).
    
    The gist of the song was "hey, little girl, all you stay-at-home
    housewives, better put on some makeup, some pretty clothes, clean
    the house, cook a nice meal, and so on, because there are lots of
    luscious babes at work who are just waiting to steal your hubby
    away from you".
    
    Hilarious, and almost as bad (from a woman's viewpoint) as Tom
    Jones "She's a Lady" ("she knows her place", "she can take what
    I dish out, and that's not easy") or Lesley Gore's "That's the
    Way Boys Are" (paraphrased: "he cheats on me, he can't be trusted,
    and so on, but oh well, that's the way boys are").
    
    Chris

    
    Gotta be Midnight at the Oasis!  
    
    

    re: Lust songs like "Midnight at the Oasis"
    
    Oh yeah, don't forget "Pillow Talk" and "Hey, Lolly-Lolly"
    (or "Telephone Man" or whatever the title was)...
    
    Chris

    
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Telephone Man!  {gack}

 Years ago there was a station in SF that was changing formats from rock
 to classical (this was in the late 50's) and they did a name it and claim
 it thing to give away all of their records..when they were down to only 
 1 more record, nobody wanted it and they played it over and over again for
 several hours..can't remember the song though..

>
>    Who was it, Jack Jones who did a song called either "Hey, Little Girl"
>    or "Wives Should Always Be Lovers Too" (both are prominent "features"
>    of the lyrics).
>    
    Jack Jones seems right.  Or Steve Lawrence?  No, probably Jack Jones.
    Even my mother, who was the quintessential full-time housewife, objected
    to that song.


    And then there's "We Gotta Get You a Woman".  Another beaut.

 The following is my opinion, which I'm sure will be met with huzzahs and
 guffaws and looks of horror on the faces of many of our dear readers, but I
 simply cannot, nor have I ever been able to, stand Suite: Judy Blue Eyes
 by Crosby, Stills and Nash..



 Jim

 Jack Jones it was...

    Remember "I want money", by the Flying Lizards?
    
    I couldn't believe it when I heard it.

    
    Yes - Midnight at the Oasis !  I guess I got the vocalist wrong.
    
    Speaking of awful : if I here them play "We will, we will, rock you"
    or "hey, hey, goodbye" again during basketball, I'll turn off the
    audio on my set !
    
      bb

	I forgot about the Telephone Man song. That was Mary who? Either way it
got up to #18 on the charts. 



Glen

>    And then there's "We Gotta Get You a Woman".  Another beaut.

	Leroy, boy, is that you?

(Actually, I always kinda liked that song. Haven't heard it in years.
 Takes me back to college, it does.)

	.34

	<huzzah>
	<guffaw>
	<look of horror>

	

 re .40



 predictable ;-)

RE      <<< Note 329.34 by CSLALL::HENDERSON "Friend will you be ready?" >>>

> The following is my opinion, which I'm sure will be met with huzzahs and
> guffaws and looks of horror on the faces of many of our dear readers, but I
> simply cannot, nor have I ever been able to, stand Suite: Judy Blue Eyes
> by Crosby, Stills and Nash..

  Wow, that is an unusual entry. That's one of my favorite tunes of all time.

  I guess I'd add just about anything from Barry Mandalo. Well "Mandy" was ok
but after that he went straight down hill.

  Then there are all the tear jerker songs like "teen angel".

  Oh yeah and all the grunt and groan songs by buys like Tom Jones and the
other guy, what's his name, something like Engelbert Humperdink (sp?).

  George

    
    one might not like Manilow's style (although he has done some varied
    stuff) but his voice is certainly okay.
    
    jeff

Wasn't Jack Jones married to Florence (Wesson) Henderson?

	Nope, the other tv mom, Shirley Jones, aka, Partridge Family. (which
followed the Brady Bunch on tv)

    >> And then there's "We Gotta Get You a Woman".  Another beaut.
    
    Oh yeah, that one... they made it sound like the poor guy was
    about to explode if they didn't "get him a woman" pronto.
    
    Aside from the abysmal lyrics (closes with "And when we're
    through with you..... we'll get me one, too!"), that was
    actually a pretty catchy song, though.  Almost Beatles-esque
    in its structure and harmony.
    
    Chris

Leslie Gore made up for "That's the Way Boys Are" with "You Don't Own Me."

    
    
    How about Neil Young's "A man needs a maid"?
    
    
    Real bad...real real bad....
    
    
    Terrie
    

 re .48




 definitely..

	I always get Shirley Jones and Florence Henderson mixed up.
	Especially when I try to explain quantum mechanics to them.

	No, but actually, now that I think of it, I've never
	seen them together.

    Yes.YES!
    
    I can't STAND that man's voice.

    
    From what I can tell, most men do need maids.  They needn't be their
    wives or SO, imo.
    
    jeff

    
    
    The words are ok...it's the song I can't stand....
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    Heck, *I* could use a maid.
    
    ...Glenn...are any of your personalities maids?

    Ned is, but I keep him in the closet.

	Can you imagine Glenn in a little french maids outfit? Or more like one
from Hazel???? :-)

	For a while there Shirley Jones and Wesson Lady had similar hair cuts. 

    Oh Glen, you've been having sick and vivid fantasies about me again I
    see.

    
    
    Actually Glenn, Glen only visually displayed what 
    my mind was already contemplating.... hehehe :*)
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    I think, yeah, this is THE worst...
    
    		Cher...with Beavis and Butthead
    
    				I Got You Babe!!
    
    8-) / steve

	Terrie, that's heE heE heE..... otherwise you are talkin about 3
guys... hmmm... that is probably what you meant so.... never mind.... :-)

	Steve, I thought that song was a RIOT! Well, if I was watchin the video
at the same time that is.... :-)

>> Leslie Gore made up for "That's the Way Boys Are" with "You Don't Own Me."
    
    That's true, one of the original feminist songs... seems we'd talked
    about this in a previous 'box.  I remember wondering which one came
    first.  It'd be a hoot if they were on the same 45, but no such luck...
    
    I'll add to the musical "sacrilege" started with "Suite: Judy Blue
    Eyes" by saying that I thoroughly can't stand "American Pie", a
    completely pretentious pseudo-artsy windbag of a song that I would
    love to see disappear forever.  I know we're all supposed to love it,
    but nothing makes me change the radio station faster.
    
    Chris

    
    but I bet you know every word to American Pie, don't you?  I like
    "Vincent" much better.
    
    jeff

    "Oh Ricky, you're so fine!  You're so fine you blow my mind, hey Ricky
    (clap clap clap) Hey Ricky! (clap clap clap)
    
    867-5309
    
    Easy Lover (Phil Collins and ????)
    
    Anything by REO Speedwagon
    
    Anything bu Flock of Seagulls

    >"Oh Ricky, you're so fine!  You're so fine you blow my mind, hey Ricky
    >(clap clap clap) Hey Ricky! (clap clap clap)
    
    That's Mickey, and it's Toni Basil singing.
    
    -b

    You don't like 867-530niiiiieeeeeeiiiiaaaannnneee?

    
    
    Oh, and that reminded me of another one!
    
    Vacation, by The GoGo's, or anything else by them, for that matter...
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    Yeah, but unfortunately, your lips aren't sealed. :-)

	How about Homecoming Queens got a gun?????

    
    were there words to the chicken dance?  I HATE that song!!
    
    / steve

	Brian... that was a goodie.......

    
    
    Steve!  I love that song!
    
    
    And Glen, I'm surprised you have not put 'Lucille' in here yet,
    or Jeramiah was a Bull frog.  hehehehe :*)
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    not the worst vocal by any means but "The Wreck of the Edmond
    Fitzgerald" has got to be one of the most dreary tunes ever recorded. 
    It gets an A+ for lyrics but I almost get sea sick every time I hear
    it.
    
    jeff

    
    One tin soldier.  I kinda like the song, but 
    it's pretty lame....
    
    
    Terrie
    

Wasn't "You don't own me" an attempt at redemption after "Judy's turn to cry"
and "It's my Party and I'll cry if I want to", or have I got artists confused
here?

    I love the "Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald".

    Definitely Mr. Tambourine Man...redone by William Shatner..
    
    Song ends with Captain Kirk yelling..
    
    
    MMMIIIISSSSTEEERRRRR  TTAAAMMBOURINEEEMANN!!!!!

 I love the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (the song that is, not the subject
 disaster).




 Jim

	.79

	<actual look of horror>

    There's something very eerie about it. Great guitar work. It's the only
    Gordon Lightfoot song I really like.

>>    There's something very eerie about it. Great guitar work. It's the only
>>    Gordon Lightfoot song I really like.

	yeah, but it's just so freaking monotonous.

    It's understandable really.  Canadians are very nationalistic in
    general and Gordon being a Canadian and all gets the support of fellow
    countrymen regardless of the quality of the work.  Glenn really can't be
    helped.  
    
    

RE      <<< Note 329.82 by CSLALL::HENDERSON "Friend will you be ready?" >>>

> I love the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (the song that is, not the subject
> disaster).

  Same here, one of the greats.

    "The miners they say, would have made White Fish Bay,
     if they'd put 15 more miles behind them".

  I saw him do it live once. The ringing of the 12 string makes it work.

  George

    Well, the muppet guy likes it and he's not Canadian.

RE:    Well, the muppet guy likes it and he's not Canadian.


     Yeah, but my ex wife is!

    So, you admit to being the muppet guy?

>                     <<< Note 329.87 by HELIX::MAIEWSKI >>>

>    "The miners they say, would have made White Fish Bay,
>     if they'd put 15 more miles behind them".

pssst!  MARINERS, unless they were tunneling under the lake :-}

I used to try to get "folk singers" at clubs to do that when they asked for
requests, they all said "no, couldn't be bothered learning 15 verses". :-}

    The church bell chimed, and it rang 29 times
    For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald

    I don't know why, but when I hear "The Wreck of the Edmund
    Fitzgerald" I picture a Basset hound going "aaaaarrrroooooo"
    at the end of every stanza.
    
    -b

  By the way, they just found the Edmund Fitzgerald about a year or so ago.
A camera was sent down to the bottom of Lake Superior and they located the
ship. It's sitting pretty much straight up and didn't look that bad for a
wreck. You could easily make out the outline of the ship and the name was easy
to read. 

  I believe they determined that the ship was moving at full speed when it went
down. The theory was that it had taken on water and was ridding low when it was
swamped. It sank so quickly there was no time to react. 

  George 

>    So, you admit to being the muppet guy?



  No, but my ex-wife is Canadian ;-)

    I've Got Tears In My Ears From Cryin' On My Pillow Over You
    
    

    I'm a Canadian, maybe I know her.

    
    I went out with a Canadian guy in college.

  ... we've hardly even started with the Country songs.

  What is it? Something like:

    "Jesus is a truck driver on the highway of my life".

  And then of course there's

    "Life sucks, then you die".

  Or how about:

    "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road"

  George

    I didn't, but I hear Canadian guys are very passionate.

    Anything Old Blue Eyes (Sinatra) has recorded in the last 10 years or
    so.  This man needs to retire; his voice died years ago, he just hasn't
    figured it out yet.  Very grating on the ears.
    
    M.
    

    Jack Jones is the brother of C&W singer, George Jones. Shirley Jones
    was married to Jack Cassidy who died in a housefire. Then his remains 
    were cremated. How can anyone pick just one with all these mentioned
    to choose from? Glad to see I am not alone in hating American Pie
    and Suite: Judy Blue Eyes and Barry Manilow. So many come to mind.
    Learned to deeply loathe the sound of Janis Joplin. My college roommate
    had one of her albums, played it over and over, and made me detest
    "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart". Hated the sound of that
    drunken pig then and the years haven't changed it. Here are two you
    might not believe. The first was a Canadian folk(?) type song I used
    to hear years ago in Maine on the C&W station my dad listened to each
    Sat. when tanked - The Squid Jigging Ground. Seemed like it had about
    20 verses. The line "squid jigging ground" was the chorus line. 
    The other is one cut at WRKD radio station in Rockland, Maine called
    "Maiden's Cliff Prayer" by one of Maine's finest C&W talents, Everett
    Basford. The cliff mentioned is located in Camden, Maine for all you
    who tour the area in the summer (hopefully you all have more brains
    than to tour there in the winter). I have a 45 of this one which I
    consider the collector item of my collection. 
    
    Honorable mention: I've been through the desert on a horse with no
    name...and Fire and Rain by James "Big Whiny" Taylor. Heard more 
    cheerful music at funerals. Has he finally disappeared? 
    

> Jack Cassidy who died in a housefire. Then his remains were cremated. 

A corpse so nice they burned him twice?

    no NO, he SANG like a house afire.  He died.  Then they cremated his
    remains.
    
    Well it's a theory.
    

    The captain of Her Heart, I don't know how many times he sings it in the
    song but it's the only words I hear.
    
    
    joan
    

 RE Janis Joplin..2 songs that rather quickly grew old on me..Me and Bobby McGee
 (a song I love by almost anyone else) and "Mercedes Benz", both of which were
 overplayed on the radio stations in the SF area.


 How about "Got my Mind Set on You" By George Harrison..how in the world they
 ever allowed that song to even be recorded is beyond me..He should have been
 booted out the door and told never to come back..



 Jim

Badmouthing Janis Joplin? Jim - I'm surprised at you . . . 

    Oh Janice had such a beautiful voice.
    


    8-p

    
    Who's Janice?

Well, my ex-, but that's neither here nor there . . . 

    Ooops, Janis.

    
    "i gotta be me," possibly by sammy davis jr. is pretty bad, although
    it would be hard to find a song worse than the previously mentioned
    "wives and lovers."  
    
    "feelings" is another very strong candidate.
    
    bill

    Ms. Joplin was IMO a great blues singer.  Not the prettiest voice but
    it worked for her material.  
    
    

>>    Ms. Joplin was IMO a great blues singer.  Not the prettiest voice but
>>    it worked for her material.  

    i am wichoo.
    
    

    
    Anyone remember the movie My Blue Heaven....
    	 Steve Martin, as "Vinny" singing Sinatras'
    
    			"...these little town blues...are melting away!!"
    (in that terribly overdone Brooklyn accent)
    
    8-)  /steve

  Wow again, people don't like "American Pie"? That's weird.

  You know what was really bad? Paul McCartney's "Mary had a little lamb". I
believe it was on his 1st Wings album.

  George

>    It's understandable really.  Canadians are very nationalistic in
>    general and Gordon being a Canadian and all gets the support of fellow
>    countrymen regardless of the quality of the work.  Glenn really can't be
>    helped.  

So Glenn can't help liking "Having My Baby?"

	<-- i don't think glenn can have your baby.
	   maybe Hildegard?  you like to rassle?

    
    Oh, gack.  I *really* wish you hadn't mentioned that disgusting waste
    of vinyl.
    
    Where's Glenn's yurple note?

RE:        <<< Note 329.107 by MOLAR::DELBALSO "I (spade) my (dogface)" >>>
                                -< Down on me >-

>Badmouthing Janis Joplin? Jim - I'm surprised at you . . . 



 Not neccesarily..just the 2 tunes that I mentioned..

RE:                     <<< Note 329.117 by HELIX::MAIEWSKI >>>

 
 > You know what was really bad? Paul McCartney's "Mary had a little lamb". I
>believe it was on his 1st Wings album.

 

   Buddy Guy does a great version of this one ;-)

    I have this theory in life...that anybody who speaks poorly of Barry
    Manilow is either lying and really likes him....or they are a
    communist!
    
    

    <---- So did SRV :-(

    .123
    Who is he?

    Color me red then Jack, as Mr. Manifold makes me gag and I ain't lyin'.

    
    Feelings by any artist
    
    Mark

    Any duets with Kenny Rogers, Elton John, Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder,
    oh hell, any duets period.
    
    Brian

>>    oh hell, any duets period.

	even the Everly (sp?) Bros.?

    Janis Joplin and great don't go together. Passable, yeah, but not
    great. Her voice was ok for her material, but she was pretty much a one
    trick pony.

| <<< Note 329.87 by HELIX::MAIEWSKI >>>


| "The miners they say, would have made White Fish Bay,
| if they'd put 15 more miles behind them".

	George, wouldn't it have been more like...

           if they'd put 15 more miles behind themmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm".


Glen

| <<< Note 329.88 by POLAR::RICHARDSON "Alleged Degirdification" >>>

| Well, the muppet guy likes it and he's not Canadian.

	No, the muppet guy is dead.... same thing. :-)

| <<< Note 329.98 by POWDML::LAUER "Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces" >>>


| I went out with a Canadian guy in college.


	Me too... :-)

	Janis Joplin was g-r-e-a-t great.  ;>

| <<< Note 329.99 by HELIX::MAIEWSKI >>>


| And then of course there's "Life sucks, then you die".

	George, that was done by the Fools. It was a spoof on country music. On
the radio station out in Worcester MA, WAAF (back when they were good), they
had a segment of the news called God's Weather. God would come on every morning
and give the forcast. One day he asked to hear a song. The name of the song
was, "Life is full of trials and tribulations, and then your soul passes onto
Heaven" The dj asked, "You mean Life sucks and then you die??"  I was rolling! 


Glen

	Anything done by Peter Wolf AFTER he left the J Giels Band.

	King Tut by Steve Martin....

 Gotta condo made of stona

    re .134

    	<look of horror>

     Yeah, but she's right about so many things that we allow her the
    occasional indiscretion. 8^)

	Janis had more soul in her little finger than most people
	have in their entire bods!  It's twuuw, it's twuuw.  ;>

 re .142




 Indeed..

| <<< Note 329.142 by PENUTS::DDESMAISONS "no, i'm aluminuming 'um, mum" >>>


| Janis had more soul in her little finger than most people
| have in their entire bods!  It's twuuw, it's twuuw.  ;>

	She's all soul now my Lady..... 

    
    
    Lady Di, 
    
    
    Since when does soul mean lysergic acid diethylamide??????
    
    
    Mike
    
    
    

    Janis had soul...couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, tho.  

| <<< Note 329.146 by CSOA1::LEECH "a gerbil is a terrible thing to baste" >>>


| Janis had soul...couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, tho.

	Who do you know that carries their soul in a bucket???

    
    
    	Speaking of Tom Jones..... whatever possessed him to do
    	a cover of Prince's "Kiss" ?!!
    
    	That mans voice is not made for pop music.  And I still
    	hate "Delilah".
    
    	What about "The Name Game" song or whatever it's called.  The
    	one where they replace the first letter of a person's name
    	with other letters and then sing about it....gag.
    

    
    >	Anything done by Peter Wolf AFTER he left the J Giels Band.
    
    Glen,
    
    I'd be inclined to tell Peter you said this, as I run
    into him all the time, but then I remembered that you've
    got the goods on me, so you'll be happy to know I won't
    tell a soul... (wink wink) :-) :-) :-)
    
    But I happen to find Peter *better* since he left J Geils
    and got out from under the influence of Seth Justin, who
    just annoys the hell out of me.
    
    -b                         

	He might have gotten out from under his influence, but his music really
blows since he left. :-) And you do have my permission to tell him that. I'll
save my trump card for sumpin reeeeeal good! :-)

    >What about "The Name Game" song or whatever it's called.  The
    >one where they replace the first letter of a person's name
    >with other letters and then sing about it....gag.
    
     Oh, please! My 2 year old just got a video with this annoying song on
    it last friday. Having an innate sense for weekends and being
    categorically unable to sleep past 6:15 on weekends, she got up early
    saturday morning (my friday night/saturday morning had been late.) In
    my half-asleep stumbling I got the new tape and put it in the VCR and
    got back in bed. Then this stupid song came on. I turned to my wife and
    asked her what I'd done to deserve that.

RE:         <<< Note 329.148 by GOOEY::JUDY "That's Ms. Bitch to you!" >>>

    
    
       
   > 	What about "The Name Game" song or whatever it's called.  The
   > 	one where they replace the first letter of a person's name
   > 	with other letters and then sing about it....gag.
    

  Shirley Ellis!  

    Cherry Pie by ....uhm....drat!  I forget.  They are a pop/rock of the
    harder rock genere of the late 80's early 90's.
    
    Also gets nomination for the dumbest lyrics purpetrated on the public.
    
    (the video had a red-hed in a convertible...and a pie)

    
    	The band is warrant..... and I thought it was a blonde 
    	in the video.  It was Bobbi Brown and she was dating the
    	lead singer at the time....
    

>    Also gets nomination for the dumbest lyrics purpetrated on the public.

Hard to beat "Wild Thing."

Wild Thing
You make my heart sing
You make everything
Groovy.

Wild Thing
I think I love you.
But I want to know for sure.
Come on baby, hold me tight.

I love you.

    
    
    	ANYTHING BY MICHAEL JACKSON OOOOWWWWWW
    

	Even Billy Jean????

    
    
    RE: .157
    
    I agree with that statement, for the most part,
    but I do like his song "Man in the Mirror".
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

	Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band

	How they squeezed a weekly tv show out of that song is beyond me...

    re: .154
    
    Yea, Warrant, that's the one.  Almost typed it in, but I thought it was
    another group.
    
    Blonde, red-head...whatever.  8^)

	I have a couple of bad recordings... All made during karaoke!

ME

    Warrant... actually, pretty nice kids. They were just hanging out
    at the Channel one night, and came up to me after my band (Network)
    left the stage. Introduced themselves and asked me for a mailing
    list card. Sent the card back with an order for 10 of our CDs,
    which supposedly got a lot of play in their tour busses. I still
    have their mailing addresses in my database.
    
    -b

 Elusive Butterfly of Love...





Jim

    Anyone know if Capt. Kirk's and Lt. Spock's recordings are available
    without paying an arm and a leg for 'em at some collectibles show? 
    Seems like something ripe for pillaging and then putting on the
    Internet were it not for copyright laws...
    
    Doug

I wouldn't be surprised if they're on a Rhino collection of bad stuff.

      Did someone mention how the Edmund Fitzgerald crashed?
    
      Here's what I heard...
    
      If you look at a map of Lake Superior, the left part sort of
      goes a little northeast from left to right and the right half
      goes southeast from left to right.
    
      Sometimes they get a weird weather pattern where the winds cause
      the left part to make big waves and winds in a different direction
      cause the right part to make big waves that aren't in synch with 
      the left ones!  What happens is the waves converge and make REAL
      BIG waves that are fairly far apart.
    
      The tanker was basically picked up off the water by two such waves;
      one near the front, the other near the back.  It snapped like a
      toothpick.  It was never designed to sustain that kind of force.
    
      Its an unusual weather pattern, but if it ever happens, just hang
      it up.  Don't go out there!
    
                                                     Tony
                                 

 How about Mad Magazine's "It's a Gas"?  Wish I still had a copy of
 that one..





Jim

I remember that one, Jim. Then there was also "She got a nose Job".

    .168
    
    ad nauseAm.
    
    nnttm.

Binder's got a defective shift key.

Dating myself but ...

   "The Eve of Destruction" by Barry McGuire

   "Yummie Yummie Yummie I've Got Love In My Tummy"  !!!!!!!!!!!

   "Mind Gardens" by the Byrds

"Dawn of Correction" was even worse than "Eve of Destruction."

    
    who was the lead singer with The Leaves ?

Nails on a chalkboard
Whitney Houston - And EYYAAAEYYYEYYEE Will Always Love Yoooo! 

Write your own music or better yet just quit
Michael Bolton - Was with OJs girl Paula in Vegas the weekend of the Ron/Nicole
		 murders.  Too bad OJ didn't know.

Stupid lyrics 
Phil Collins - SooSooSudio - What the hell does that mean?


Honorable Mention 

Tone Loc
Vanilla Ice
ICE T 
Morrissey
Bryan Adams

    If you want to examine stupid lyrics, study Led Zeppelin.

? "Always"
 	Romeo is bleeding, 
 	but you can't see his blood
Why can't he just DIE?

Linda McCartney - anything

James Reyne (ex Australian Crawl)
A _major_ lyrics mauler.
 	"Things just-a, don't seem-a, to-be goin' right"
always sounded to me like
 	"bang sister, gong saver....."

That female who had the gall to cover the Harry Nilsson classis "Without You"


Grumble grumble

Chele

    ANY country and western music...
    
    ALL rap music...(mtv actually used to be pretty good before they
    started playing that trash)
    
    NKOTB and markey mark...more trash!
    
    anything from whitney houston, michael jackson, michael bolton,
    sine-aid o'conner, and last but not least.....barbara streisand!
    
    

    
    
    	What about the BEE GEE's!!!!!
    

    There's no such thing as Country & Western music, it's all just plain
    old country music. Country & Western was some sort of Hollywood
    invention.

    In my opinion, country music has made huge strides in quality and
    talent over the last 10 years. There is some really good stuff.

    Glenn

What about Sons of the Pioneers?

    >anything from whitney houston, michael jackson, michael bolton,
    >sine-aid o'conner, and last but not least.....barbara streisand!
    
    I'm with you for most of that list, but I happen to really
    like Sinead's duet with Peter Gabriel called "Blood of Eden",
    and I also like her song "Emperor's New Clothes". Of course,
    YMMV (and apparently it does).
    
    I used to have some respect for Barbara Streisand until she
    started to try and out-commie Jane Fonda, but that has nothing
    to do with her vocal talents, which are substantial (I just
    can't stand her personally).
    
    -b

    
    One can hardly list Barbra in "worst vocalist" of any time.  However
    reprehensible she is on other matters does not reflect on her
    outstanding vocal talent.  She could be consider the greatest vocalist
    of our era and rightly so, imo.
    
    jeff

	.187  aaagagagagagag.  oh my.

 I like (some) of her acting..

    
    I liked her hair in "A Star is Born".

    
    
    	re: .177
    
    	Hey!  Michael Bolton *does* write most of his own music.
    	And he writes for many many other artists as well.
    
    	re: .178
    
    	Ok, Jovi bashing is *not* allowed in my presence.  =)
    
    	
    	Thanks to whoever nominated NKOTB.  I forgot all about them
    	(Thank God!).  I almost choked when I saw their picture in
    	Boston's Hard Rock Cafe.  Only *slightly* out of place!
    
    	JJ
    

RE Barbra Streisand 

  Great voice, louse selection. She was good enough to sing opera but decided
on a career singing elevator music. 

  George

    
    Barbra Streisand picked small wingless insects?

Yes, it's a little-known fact that she was discovered while working at
a laboratory that bred lice for scientific experiments.  She really hated
that job, and was itching to get a break into show biz.

RKBA aside, Ted Nugent

    I just remembered another little-known stinker from 1969-70, one
    that you'll never hear on Oldies 103...
    
    It starts out with this weird Dracula-esque organ playing by some
    guy who'd apparently just discovered diminished chords, then
    suddenly breaks into an upbeat, lively tempo but in a minor key,
    which seemed even stranger.
    
    Then the lyrics begin... whoever wrote this must have taken
    "The Men in My Little Girl's Life" to heart, because the theme
    is almost parallel.  It goes something like:
    
    A little boy asks his mother "Do you love me?"
    But it really means "Will you protect me?"
    The mother answers him, "I love you"
    But it really means "You've been a good boy"
    
    (Chorus)
    And as the years go by
    True love will never die
    
    [I forget most of this one]
    A young man asks his girlfriend "Do you love me?"
    But it really means <I forget, but use your imagination>
    His girlfriend answers him, "I love you"
    But it really means "Will you respect me?"
    
    And as the years go by
    True love will never die
    
    [Bring back the Dracula music]
    I-Iiiii-Iiiiii will love you
    Forevvvveeerrrrr 
    I-Iiiii-Iiiiii will love you
    Forevvvveeerrrrr 
    
    [It then goes on through the various stages of life,
    "Do you love me?", "Will you marry me", and so on,
    finally ending with something like:]
    
    The old man asks his wife "Do you love me?"
    But it really means [I forget, "Will you feed me?" or equal idiocy]
    His wife answers him "I love you"
    But it really means "I'll be here 'till the end."
    
    And as the years go by
    True love will never die
    
    [More Dracula music]
    I-Iiiii-Iiiiii will love you
    Forevvvveeerrrrr 
    I-Iiiii-Iiiiii will love you
    Forevvvveeerrrrr 
    
    The whole thing ends on another depressing drawn-out minor organ chord.
    Truly weird.
    
    Chris

    I think it was actually called "As the Years Go By", but it sure
    would've been fun if they'd played it back-to-back with "Monster
    Mash" (which is a different song that somehow refuses to die :-)),
    and perhaps "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Ha".
    
    The problem is, these other two songs were meant to be funny,
    while the folks behind "As the Years Go By" appeared to be quite
    earnest.  Which, of course, made it all the funnier.  My pals and
    I used to crack each other up during the song with our Boris
    Karloff and Peter Lorre impressions, not to mention inventing
    creative alternate lyrics to the "But it really means..." parts.
    
    Ah, youth... we were as weird as the song, so somehow it all fit.
    
    Chris

	sugah
	
	ahhh hunee huneee
	
	you are my candy gUURl
	
	and you got me wanting youuuuuuu

    As mentioned in another note on music......
    
    Axl Rose's voice makes my skin crawl.  

    Gee, that would be neat to see. You could lie down on the floor naked,
    put some Axl on, and move about the room like you're demon possessed.

    I think "As the Years Go By" was by a Canadian group called the
    Mandala, or something similar.
    
    -Stephen

    Ah, good, someone else remembers "As the Years Go By"... for a minute
    there I was concerned that I'd just invented the thing during one
    of those "Oh no I'm back in school" dreams.
    
    Chris

    
    Somewhat akin to "Having My Baby", a real retcher from the mid 70's,
    "No Charge".
    
    "For the nine months I carried you,
    Growing inside me,
    No charge..."
    
    uh-b-b-bleah!

    "Timothy" by (mumble mumble).
    
    Dan

    
    I rather liked Timothy.  We used to cave when I was a shorter kid and
    that song was popular.  It was very creepy being in a cave that one had
    to slither into like a snake because the entrances were so small and
    then getting inside where it was pitch dark, dank and full of those
    long-legged crickets, and then singing the song "timothy" and
    discussing who would or would not eat their brother/friend.  It made a
    lasting impression on me.
    
    jeff

>>    "Timothy" by (mumble mumble).

	oh WOW!  now _there's_ a definite blast from the past.
	i liked it too <hanging head in shame>.

	

    What about that catchy tune "Duh Duh Duh"
    
    Can't remember who recorded it but if songs like that can become
    popular why do talented people bother trying?
    
    BTW Who's "Timothy"

    
    Are you referring to "De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da" from the Police?
    If so, I'd say you better rethink your talent theories, considering
    that the Police were Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland,
    three very talented people IMHO.
    
    -b

    Where Oh where can my Baby be?
    The Lord took her away from me
    She's gone to heaven si I gotta be good
    So I can see my Baby when I leava this world

<----- <Shiver> Fingernails on the board.

  George

	NO. he said "Duh Duh DUh"
	
	that's Deep Purple!
	
	Smmmmmoooooke on the warrrrtah.

    A friar in the sky....

    
>>    BTW Who's "Timothy"

	Timothy was a very unusual type of luncheon meat.  This
	is a little-known fact.

    We ended up at the Grand Hotel
    It was empty cold and bare
    But with the Rolling Stones
    truck thing just outside
    We made our music there
    
    A few read lights
    A few old beds
    We made a place to sweat
    I know, no matter what,
    We get outta this,
    I know, I know,
    We'll never forget...
    
    -b

	And you, you light up my life
	You give me strength, to carry on
	

	You , you liiiiiiiiight up miaiaiaiaiaiai...iaiaiai life!

	so tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ooooold oooooak tree.

    Skyyyyyyy rockets in flight!
    
    Yeeeeeoowwwwwwwwww
    
    Afternoon deeeeliiiiiieeeeeiiiiiight!

    >	so tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ooooold oooooak tree.
    
    I did a "dance" cover of this putrid song for a company
    that sells such things to Asian disk jockies. I think
    though that the swooping power chords I couldn't resist
    putting in the chorus may have been a bit much... :-)
    anyway, it never sold. But if you're ever in the mood
    for a great laugh...
    
    -b

<-- I'm having a hard time picturing a dance cover of that!
	(not the I need any help, mind you ;-)

    
    
    I met her on a monday and my heart stood still,
    Da do run run run Da do run run
    Somebody told me her name was Jill
    Da do run run run Da do run run
    
    
    
    
    blecth...spit...puey...puey!!!!
    
    
    Terrie
    

	wwHAAts new pussycat, whoaooooaoaooo aoaoaoooooa ooooooo
							     {swings hips}

    Aaaaaaah, love ta love ya baby
    Aaaaaaah, love ta love ya baby

    
    
    	BoRn iN tHe USa!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    

>    I met her on a monday and my heart stood still,
>    Da do run run run Da do run run
>    Somebody told me her name was Jill
>    Da do run run run Da do run run

NONONONO!

It's
	I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still,
	A do run run run a do run run.
	Someone told me his name was Bill,
	A do run run run a do run run.

	    Hey, my heart stood still
	    Hey, his name was Bill
	    A do run run run a do run run.
etc.

	speaking of which, the end of "It's Not Unusual" most certainly
	is, and it just about makes me want to hurl small chunks, in
	a lady-like fashion, all over the place.

    
    
    RE: His name was Bill....I don't mind that version.
    It's the Shawn Cassidy version that makes me barf and puke.
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    
    	>    It's the Shawn Cassidy version that makes me barf and puke.
    
    	brings back hardy boys mysteries memories....:)
    
    

    re: .228

    Especially the way Tom Jones does that silly motion while snapping his
    fingers.

    Yes, an impromptu protein party for sure....

 Johhny get angerrry Johnny get mad, give me the biggest lecture I've ever
 had..

I want a brave man,
I want a cave man.

    Re .211 
    
    No!!!  This song was definitely not done by the Police.
    
    Re .214
    
    I'm a she!!!  And it was not done by Deep Purple.
    
    I thought that it was done by Frank Zappa but one of my colleagues
    insists it was done by a group from Germany. ?????
    
    Anyway, some of the lyrics are as follows:
    
    Duh duh duh
    Uh huh, uh huh
    What you will and what you won't
    Uh huh
    What you can and what you can't
    Uh huh
    
    That's all I remember

	sorry ::klazer.
	but, how do we know we can trust you?
	
	Jay (all MALE, all joking, all the time)

    
    Run, Johnny, run
    
    
    Daddy please don't it wasn't his fault we were gonna get marreeeeed
    
    
    
    And the there's
    
    
    Daddy don't you walk so fast, daddy don't you walk so fast......
    Daddy slow down some cuz your making me run....
    
    (although I must say, when I was a kid that song used to choke me up,
    must've been something I related to in the past)
    
    
    Mike 

    
    don't forget the K-tel classic of "Kung Fu Fighting"

    Billly, don't be a heeeeroooo, don't be a fool with your liiiiife.
    Billly, don't be a heeeeroooo, come back and make me your wiiiife.
    And as he started to go, I said Billly keep your head lo-oo-ow,
    Billly, don't be heerroooo, come back to meeeee
    
    Arggghhh! 

    
    Me and you and a dog named boo
    travelin' and a livin' off the la-und
    Me and you and a dog named boo
    how i love bein' a free man.
    
    or
    
    Dizzy.  I'm so Dizzy my head is spinnin
    like a whirlpool it never ends
    and its you girl that's making it spin
    you're making me dizzy
    

    
    
    
    And then there's the Bay City Rollers........

    
    criuhiuhiuhmson and clo-oh-o-oh-ver
    o-oh-ver and o-oh-ver...

And the sailors say Brandy, what a fine girl. (What a fiiiiine gir-l)
What a good wife she would be.  (doodoodOOOOOOOOOOdoodoo)
But my (blah,blah....  blah,blah,blah,blah,blah) is the sea.

    
    
    RE: .242  Hey, hey, hey, that was a fine tune......
    
    and it's But my life, my love and my lady is the sea.
    
    Mike

Wrong topic, JoJo!

I even went out and scrounged around Rhino records to get a CD that had
"Brandy" on it once Mikey told me who the group was.

 Brandy is a great tune, IMO...brings back a lot of nice memories..





 Jim

It's all in the history, you see....

Heard "Brandy" mangled once, as a youngster, by a Cruise 
Ship Lounge Entertainer, and it ain't been the same
since.

He also did "I Love You More Today Than Yesterday," to
the same result.

Scarred for life, I am.

    Jay:
    
         Don't I have a trustworthy looking face? %^p
    
    Naomi

    >> Where Oh where can my Baby be?
    >> The Lord took her away from me
    >> She's gone to heaven si I gotta be good
    >> So I can see my Baby when I leava this world
    
    This song is a riot... next time you hear it, listen to the
    soprano background singer towards the end of the line that
    goes "I lost my love, my life, that night", (I think that's
    the line; if not, one later) and the singer sounds like she
    runs out of breath; she gurgles and chokes, and stops, right
    on cue.  It's so good that I'm still not sure whether it was
    an intentional part of the song, to have her stop short in such
    a way at that moment.
    
    Either way, it's good for a chuckle, along with the rest of the
    morbid thing.
    
    Chris

    Naomi, I can tell by the node name. I can trust you but I don't know if the
    rest can....
    
    Glenn/Deirdre/Pamela/Franny/Ned/Dierdre/Anton/Sean/Alice/Jimi/Pauline/Rex/
    Nathan/Melanie/Ursula/Hildegard/Nigel/Boutros Boutros/Leslie
    

>Heard "Brandy" mangled once, as a youngster, by a Cruise 
>Ship Lounge Entertainer

Aye, there's the problem. It doesn't work unless it's Looking Glass (thankyou
again, Michael.)

    
     Janis Joplin   seriously  OVER rated.
    
    

    And what about odd lyrics, how about Does your chewing gum loose its flavour
    on the bedpost over night, Maisy dotes and Dosey dotes or Purple people
    eater.
    
    
    joan

 Oh, your red scarf matches your eyes
 you close your cover before stri-i-iking
 father has the shipfitter blues
 loving you has made me bananas..

 Don't roll your bloodshot eyes at me
 I can tell you've been out on a spree
 Its plain that you're lyin'
 when you say you've been cryin'
 don't roll those bloodshot eyes at me..

    ... really legit?  I mean, you weren't off in some sorta fugue state &
    letting your fingers loose, were ya?
    

    regarding BARBRA streisand, sorry, but her acting is as bad as her
    singing...not too thrilled about her speeches either.
    
    also forgot to add tom jones and the partridge family to the list as
    well...
    
    

Oh, you burned your fingers that evening, while my back was turned.
I asked the waiter for iodine, but I dined all alone.

Who was it that did that tune, Jim?

    	Have the Osmonds been mentioned yet?  If not, they are now.
    
    ME

She rolled her big blue eyeballs at me,
I picked them up and rolled them back.

        Homer & Jethro, "You Belong To Me"

>         Don't I have a trustworthy looking face? %^p
	
	Naomi,
	
	now that you mention it, no.
	there's something about those eyes ....
	and then there's the proximity to the ::richardsons
	
	call_me_skeptical

    
    
    Anybody remember this one?? :*)
    
    
    
    
    ABC...It's easy as 1 2 3 
    That's how easy love can be.
    
    I heard it on the radio this morning, and as much
    as I hate the song, I actually had to sing along,
    laughing at the same time!  Anyone looking into my
    car must have thought I was NUTS! :*)
    
    Terrie
    

RE:            <<< Note 329.255 by LJSRV2::KALIKOW "TechnoCatalyst" >>>
                             -< Hmmm...  is .253 >-

   > ... really legit?  I mean, you weren't off in some sorta fugue state &
   > letting your fingers loose, were ya?
    

     Yep..can't remember who did it though..was in the late 60's I believe.



 Jim

RE:        <<< Note 329.257 by MOLAR::DELBALSO "I (spade) my (dogface)" >>>
                    -< Coming to you from the Hotel Sheets >-

>Oh, you burned your fingers that evening, while my back was turned.
>I asked the waiter for iodine, but I dined all alone.

>Who was it that did that tune, Jim?


  I dunno, Jack...I was awake all night trying to remember.  was done in
 a vaudville/Rudy Valle style though.


 Jim

    
    <-- I remember that song!

 But who did it???

	.266  yeah, that's a good one.

	Then there's probably a whole host of Buffy Ste Marie songs
	(or however it was spelled).

    Another one that makes me jab at any button on the car radio when
    its opening notes sound out is the Beach Boys' "Sloop John B".
    
    Boring, repetitive, endless.
    
    Chris

 re .269


 
  Same here..

    
    Or worse, "Help me Rhonda".
    
      bb

| <<< Note 329.179 by GIDDAY::BURT "Let us reason together" >>>

| ? "Always"
| Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
| Why can't he just DIE?

	Cuz it's THIS Romeo is bleeding..... the other one IS not real.

| That female who had the gall to cover the Harry Nilsson classis "Without You"

	Mariah Carey. Very good rendition of the song. 

| <<< Note 329.239 by USAT05::BENSON "Eternal Weltanschauung" >>>


| Me and you and a dog named boo
| travelin' and a livin' off the la-und
| Me and you and a dog named boo
| how i love bein' a free man.


	Jeff, do you remember who did this? I know a couple that have a dog
named Boo. This would go over well with them.


Glen

    Skeptical:
    
         Who are the "::richardsons" - some bad cover band?
    
    Actually, I don't even know Mr. Richardson (Glen is it?) although I've
    heard he has many aliases.  Hmmmm...
    
    Back to the topic - even though he is a Canadian (I'll probably get a
    strip torn off of me for saying this but...) I can't stand Neil Young.
    Especially Cinnamon Girl
    

    
    Sorry, Glen.  I have no idea who did the song.  
    
    jeff

    
    I should think Eagle 93.7 would know if you called them.

    I think it was "Lobo."
    
    -Stephen

re: .273    {applause}

    >	Mariah Carey. Very good rendition of the song. 
    
    Glen, Glen, Glen... poor boy. Have you never heard the powerful
    emotion of Nilsson's original? The Mariah Carey version has
    none of that. Check out the chorus in Nilsson's version, then
    the Carey version, and then get back to us...
    
    -b

    
    Could be Lobo.  Probably is.
    
    jeff

    Mariah Carey doesn't have to sound good, she looks too good!
    
     Chip

 Lobo is right..






Jim

| <<< Note 329.273 by POLAR::KLAZER >>>



| Actually, I don't even know Mr. Richardson (Glen is it?) 

	NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GLENN, with TWO N'S!!!!
One personality is enought for me. Can ya imagine how scary I would be if I had
more than one?


Glen

| <<< Note 329.274 by USAT05::BENSON "Eternal Weltanschauung" >>>


| Sorry, Glen.  I have no idea who did the song.


	BUMMMMEEEERRRRR!!!!!!  At least I know it's out there now... thanks.

| <<< Note 329.275 by POWDML::LAUER "Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces" >>>


| I should think Eagle 93.7 would know if you called them.


	I'll give them a call....

| <<< Note 329.279 by MPGS::MARKEY "Send John Thomas some doughnuts" >>>


| Glen, Glen, Glen... poor boy. Have you never heard the powerful emotion of 
| Nilsson's original? 

	YUP! Without it the song would not have been as good.

| The Mariah Carey version has none of that. 

	On this we disagree. I think she put a LOT into that song. 

| Check out the chorus in Nilsson's version, then the Carey version, and then 
| get back to us...

	Done.... you're wrong. :-)

    These Boots Are Made for Walkin'
    

    
    Oh gosh, I like that song 8^/.

	They show the video of that song in some of the bars I frequent. It's a
scream to watch it!


Glen

    Because you're miiiiiiinnnne
    I walk the liiiinnnne
    
    
    hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    
    My aunt loves Johnny Cash.

    I fell in to that burnin' ring of fire..
    I went down down down and the flames got higher
    and it burns burns burns
    that ring of fire, ring of fire...

 My cash loves Johnny Aunt!

    
    We got married in a fever
    Hotter than a pepper sprout
    We been talking 'bout Jackson
    Ever since the fire went out...

    My Johnny aunt loves cash!

    
    Muskrat Love
    

    I'm going to Jackson
    I'm gonna mess around
    I'm going to Jackson
    ????????????????????? town?

    > I'm going to Jackson
    > I'm gonna mess around
    > I'm going to Jackson
    > ????????????????????? town?
    
    If it's Jesse Jackson, it's probably "Hymie Town". :-)
    

    Interesting concept. Can I pre-emptively run my windshield wipers and
    see the benefits when it actually rains?

    
    I would have said no, but honestly, _nothing_ you do would surprise me
    anymore 8^).
    

    Deb, Nance, why don't ya'll meet me in Jackson and we'll find out
    for outselves?
    

	Like    a      Rhinestone      Cowboy
	

You load 16 tons, and whaddya get?
Another Day older and deeper in debt.
St. Peter don't ya call me, 'cuz I can't go.
I owe my soul to the company Stooooore.

If you see me comin', better step aside.
A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died.
One fist of iron, the other of steel,
If the right don't get you then the left one Weeell.

		Tennessee Ernie Ford

    
    Where the heck IS Jackson, anyhoo?  I could use a road trip.

 I believe the Jackson about which Mr and Mrs Cash (Caysh as they might say 
 down south) sing is in Mississippi (my late mother's home state).



 Jim

	"..you ain't never caught a rabbit
			 and you ain't no friend of mine"

    .307 You don't like "Hound Dog"?  Blasphemy :-)
    

	She's got Bette Davis Eyes

    <-----  Agreeeed!!
    
    

    Eeeev'ry time I see yor face
    It remiiiinds me of the places
    We used to gooooo.
    
    [barf, gag] Stick to the drums, Ringo. At least you just sucked at
    that.
    
    
    
    

    >	She's got Bette Davis Eyes
    
    My college roommate - who, like me, was also a radio DJ - I thought
    had terrific taste in music. He turned me on to so much great music,
    I couldn't begin to catalog it.
    
    However, we parted company (strongly) on this song. He liked it,
    a lot. I hated it, a lot. He played it, a lot. I went for a walk,
    a lot. :-)
    
    The only other major clash of musical tastes we had was the group
    "Soft Cell". I loathed them. Their "Tainted Love/Puttin' on the
    Ritz" was a finger down the throat if ever I heard one. But when
    the record company sent us each a promo dance copy of the 12"
    "Tainted Dub", the fur really flew. He played that a lot too...
    and I went for a *lot* of walks.
    
    -b

    Occaisonally they wheel on the corpse of Bob Dylan onto TV,and he 
    wheezes and mumbles through some crap song or other. It`s so bad,it`s
    almost funny. 
    
    Other than that,Whitney Houston belting out "Iiiiiiyahhhh will
    alwaaaaays lurrrrrrve yoooooou" is quite horrible.
    

I see your troooooo colors shining through.
I see your troooooo colors and that's why I love you.
So don't be afraid . . . . . 

:-/��.,

    
    
    	Soft Cell didn't do Puttin' on the Ritz did they?
    
    	I thought some really obnoxious guy name "Taco" or something
    	did that tune?
    

    "Tainted Love" and "Puttin' on the Ritz" were back-to-back
    on the same record and were released together as the A-side
    of the single, with the B-side being "Tainted Dub". Then,
    they started playing it in discos (how did people dance
    to that? I dunno) and they put out an extended dance mix
    that went on forever...
    
    -b

    .315
    
    taco did it, but he wasn't the first.  it's an old, old cole porter
    tune.  taco's cover was excellent - i wish i had it on cd instead of
    only on vinyl.
    
    taco was an interesting singer in many respects, possibly the most
    unusual aspect of his stuff is that it's sung in perfect idiomatic
    english, yet he cannot speak, read, or write english.  he's german
    and learned the songs entirely by ear from recordings.

    >taco was an interesting singer in many respects, possibly the most
    >unusual aspect of his stuff is that it's sung in perfect idiomatic
    >english, yet he cannot speak, read, or write english.  he's german
    >and learned the songs entirely by ear from recordings.
    
    That sounds like you're desribing "Falco"...
    
    -b

	>>taco's cover was excellent 

	i'm rather fond of Peter Boyle's interpretation myself.

    .319
    
    meaning the one he did in young fronkensteen?

    
>>    meaning the one he did in young fronkensteen?

	iffen there's another, i haven't hoid it.

    >That sounds like you're desribing "Falco"...
    
    P.S. to previous: Among his hits was a neat little romp called
                      "Rock me Amadeus"...
    
    -b

	I thought soft cell did tainted love AND where did our love go? at
least that is the dance mix i have........ 

    Oh crap. Have I done it again ?!?!? I think you're right.
    
    -b

	It's ok, you're only in the busiess..... heh heh....

    
    Don't laugh... I'm getting to the point where I'm wondering
    if Ronald Raegan managed to sneak into the wood pile... :-)
    
    -b

	I don't recall seeing it here, unless it was *way*
	back...

	The David Bowie/Bing Crosby rendition of "The Little
	Drummer Boy" may not be the worst of all time, but
	it's the most troubling.

	i thought of that too, Jojo! 

	that "barrrrumpa pum pum" stuff could make one a mental
	case anyways, regardless of the version.

    RE: barrrrumpa pum pum
    
    AMEN!
    
    

    
    
    Oh.  Oh.  Watching that scene with "Puttin' On The Ritz" in Young 
    Frankenstein can make me wee my drawers.
    
    I give that whole movie a five-Depends rating, anyway 8^).

 I always wonder why the audience came to the show with all the lettuce,etc
 that they threw at Peter Boyle..

    
    Cause they expected him to sing "Lettuce Entertain You".
    
    -b

    
    The best part was when Wilder was feeding him the snacks as if he was a
    performing pet... :)
    

    
>    Cause they expected him to sing "Lettuce Entertain You".
    
    Don't pepper us with puns, please

    
    Wouldn't think of as salting you...
    

	"Put ze kendle beck!"

	"Fire is good.  Fire is our friend."

	{wiping tears}

	Gene Hackman made a great blind man.

        That's enough Frau Blucher! [fx<Neeiiiigghhhh>]
        
        Igor
        

    Sohhhm varrrm meeeeelk?
    

    I don't vant to be Flau Blucher {neighing}, ya Loch Nessian.
    I vant to be Terri Garr.
    

    It's a fair cop.

    Be careful....  I may start singing "Oh Sweet Mystery
    of Life"
    

                     ___   ~----._
            _______     ~~---.__  `-.
        --~~       ~~-----.__   `-.  \
        _,--------------._   ~---. \  `.
      '~  _,------------. ~~-     `.\  |
     _,--~      _____    `        _____|_
         _,---~~          -----         `-.            /##
      ,-~   __,---~~--.       `._____,',--.`.        ,'##/
    ,' _,--~  __,----.          `  () '' ()' :    _,-' `#'
     ,~   _,-'   ,' ,--          `---' \ `.__,)--'     ,'
       ,-'      -  (                                _,'
     .'   _-~ ,'    `--                          ,-'
    /  ,-'  ,'  __                        ___,--'    _______________
     ,'  ,'~ ,-~     /            ___.ooo88o  |    ,'               `.
    /  ,' ,-'    /               ' 8888888888,'   _|                 |
      /  /    /                 '  `888888888.`.  \   BOOOO-TROUS!!! |
     /  /  /      /            '    `888888888 |   |                 |
       '      /     /         '       `888888','   `._______________,'
         /                   '           ~~~,'
        /   /  /            '            ,-'                  
         /           /                 ,'         
    

    My teeth are moving about........

    Have I mentioned I found a new job...  delivering Chinese watches
    for a Mr. Luigi Vercotti?
    

    You wouldn't be working at a cheap clip joint for picking up tarts
    would you?

    No, I deny that completely.  It's a high-class establishment
    for the gentry...		mother.
    

    Do they have international cuisine, and cookin'?

    Ah {in my best Cardinal Richelieu}, oui!
    

    Wow! So many candidates. Really thought I was certain when I earlier
    cast my vote for a Canadian folk type song, the dismal "Squid Jigging
    Ground". Then someone goes and mentions W.Houston's sinus clearing, 
    filling jingling "I will always love you" and so many others. Barry
    Manisuck and his counterpart Lionel Ritchie. Having never seen the two
    of these guys together, I have long suspected Barry Manisuck is really
    Lionel Ritchie in whiteface with a blonde wig. My best black friend,
    Bob, would never confirm my other suspicion - that Lionel Ritchie is
    black people's revenge for Barry Maniamlow. If that is true allow me to
    say "Okay! We surrender! Just don't hit us with anymore Lionel Ritchie
    tunes! And, yes, it is okay with this white person if you kick Barry's
    little butt all over the stage!" Please do.

    Haven't read any of this note, but Neil Dimond certainly sucks more
    than any other singer I have heard.
    
    ...and he doesn't even do opera...

    
    I sense a dig at opera, yes I do 8^p.

    I dig opera.

    -1 not a bad talk show... :-)
    
       CChip

    CChip? As in CChip ride?  CChip hit early season pothole and bend rim? 
    Be careful out there.  Sand has slightly more friction than oil on
    pavement.  

    ZZ    Haven't read any of this note, but Neil Dimond certainly sucks more
    ZZ    than any other singer I have heard.
    
    Go back to your beer!!!

    .356 hey, it was cold in here this morning! :-)
    
    
    CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCChippppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppy

    Astonishingly, I don't think Stevie Nicks has been mentioned.  
    
    -Stephen

    She's different, but I wouldn't put her in a `worst' category.

    Well, I heard "Sara" in a restaurant last night, and I was astonished. 
    
    I would rather listen to "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show" any
    day.
    
    -Stephen

 I liked Fleetwood Mac way back in the Peter Green/Jeremy Spencer days..after
 that I didn't care for them much.





Jim

I suppose you`re one of those people who think that Floyd went downhill
after Syd left...  :)  (they definately did when Waters buggered off)

Chris.

    Never a great blues aficionado, I recently picked up Elmore James's
    "The Sky is Crying," & was astonished how closely early Fleetwood Mac
    imitated him.
    
    -Stephen

    S. Nicks is one of my favorite female vocalists...
    
    I've been looking for the old Fleetwood Mac album Mr. Wonderful
    and can't find it...
    
    Chip

re: .359

HEY!  Leave Gene's sheep out of this discussion!

Bob

    
    
    RE: .365
    
    Hey!  I have that album!
    
    
    
    :*)
    Terrie
    

    
    
    speaking of stevie nicks...due to this cold, i would probably be able
    to sing her songs and sound just like her!!!
    
    

    
	okay raq baby, just make up a bunch of really inscrutable
	lyrics and you're in business.

    re Stevie Nicks
    
    face like an Angel
    
    ric

    okay... you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves!
    
     :-)
    
     Chip

    Don't stand next to her as you may catch cold from the wind whistling
    through her ears.  Still got the poster Chip?

     Ahhh, you remember... yes i do, but it has been relegated to
     my basement (unfortunately).
    
     Chip

    Ah, I didn't know we could vote for a male AND a female.
    
    I'd say Neil Dimond without question sucks more than any female
    vocalist, by far.

    
    Oh, hmmm, I didn't know he was one of those 8^).

    .375
    
    shame on you !!!
    
    ric
    |-(

    
    
    
    Yup, Neil dooing a heartfelt version of "Dry Your Eyes" can always
    start the old stomach to turning.
    

 I have some nice memories of "September Morn'" by Neil Diamond.  

    Diamond is the WORST????  
    
    
    
    
    You uncircumcised Philistine!!!!

    Diamond is not the worst, close but not the worst.  Mikey Bolton and
    Barry Manifold beat him by hair or a lot of it in their cases.  

	Love on the rocks..
	Ain't no big surprise... <insert what seems to be an endless pause>
	Just poor me a drink
	I'll tell you a lie
	

    Barry is Wonderful!
    
    Your're an uncircumcised Philistine!!!

    Actually, I think the "Dr. Pepper" jingle redeems Barry Manilow
    somewhat.  Neil Dimond has no redeeming social value whatsoever.
    
    Unless you happen to use his albums for trap and skeet.

    Just to let you all know, Axl Rose is still the king of bad singing. 
    As sad as I am to admit it, he is even worse than Neil D. and Barry M.  
    
    

    
    
    um, bri...as far as bad singing goes...i still think bob dylan is the
    worst...
    
    

    
    in the syndicated teevee series "the history of rock and roll", there
    is a kinescope of pat boone singing "tutti frutti".  i really think
    this is as bad as it gets...
    
    
    bill

    	Until you've seen Burt Parks singing "Someone's knocking on the
    door, Somebodys ringing the bell", you haven't hit rock bottom.

  I dunno...I say McLain Stevenson sing "My Kind of Girl" (I think that's the
  name) on the Tonight Show several years ago.




 Jim

    McLean.

 thanks, Mr. Binder.  I wrestled with that for a while last night before I 
 finally through caution to the wind and posted it anyway.




Jim

> finally through caution to the wind and posted it anyway.

	threw ;>

 Oy...

Re:  Neil Diamond

I agree that his last 10 years have not been the best, but I do enjoy some 
of his early stuff.. "I am I said" and "I've been this way Before" to 
mention a couple of memorable tunes.  And he *used* to write some pretty 
good lyrics - most of the songs on "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" come to 
mind, especially "Be" (... as a page that aches for a word to write on a 
theme that is timeless...)

>        <<< Note 329.393 by TROOA::TRP109::Chris "dedicated sybarite" >>>
>         -< .. however, "Forever in Blue Jeans" would not qualify... >-

        I always heard that as "The Reverend Blue Jeans" ...
        
        Andy
        

    In three-part almost-harmony:
    
    
                                    hh   hh    hhhhh
                            aaaaahhh  hhh  hhhh
                         ahh
                      ahh
                   ahh
              ahhhh
         ahhhh
    Ahhhh
    
    - The Beau Brummels
    
    Thank you, you've been a great audience, have a safe drive home!
    

    On the Flintstones they were the Beau Brummelstones!

    Yeah, I remember the Beau Brummelstones.  Now there's a creative
    name... I mean, in keeping with the prehistoric theme, they could've
    at least come up with something like the Bone Brummels.  And if
    they'd sung in a cave, the natural reverb might have masked the
    long wavering "ahhhhh"'s.
    
    Flintstones did a lot of music over the years for a cartoon.  Every
    time Fred sang, they used a vocal stand-in that sounded absolutely
    nothing at all like the character's regular voice.  What a riot...
    
    Chris

    Yes...His version of Listen to the Mockingbird was an absolute riot! 
    
    He was as popular as Elvis...that is until Wilma passed a rumor around
    that Fred was square!
    
    -Jack

	I liked the Way Outs !

And by the way...

---------------------
    THE WORST 100 SINGLES OF THE LAST 25 YEARS
         By Davids Browne & Hinckley
             New York Daily News


1 - (You're) Having My Baby        Paul Anka/Odia Coates         1974
2 - You Light Up My Life           Debby Boone                   1977
3 - Tie A Yellow Ribbon            Dawn featuring Tony Orlando   1973
4 - To All The Girls I've Loved Before
                                   Julio Iglesias/Willie Nelson  1984
5 - I Write The Songs              Barry Manilow                 1975
6 - Honey                          Bobby Goldsboro               1968
7 - Muskrat Love                   The Captain & Tenille         1976
8 - Feelings                       Morris Albert                 1975
9 - Yummy Yummy Yummy              Ohio Express                  1968
10- The Men In My Little Girl's Life
                                   Mike Douglas                  1966
11- Afternoon Delight              Starland Vocal Band           1976
12- Billy, Don't Be A Hero         Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods   1974
13- Ballad of the Green Berets     Sgt. Barry Sadler             1966
14- Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast   Wayne Newton                  1972
15- Candy Man                      Sammy Davis Jr                1972
16- In The Year 2525               Zager & Evans                 1969
17- I've Never Been To Me          Charlene                      1982
18- Seasons in the Sun             Terry Jacks                   1973
19- Alone Again (Naturally)        Gilbert O'Sullivan            1972
20- Paper Roses                    Marie Osmond                  1973
21- Me and You and a Dog Named Boo-Lobo                          1971
22- Torn Between Two Lovers        Mary MacGregor                1976
23- Sunshine On My Shoulders       John Denver                   1974
24- I'm Henry VIII, I Am           Herman's Hermits              1965
25- A Fifth of Beethoven           Walter Murphy/Big Apple Band  1976
26- Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go    Wham!                         1984
27- After The Lovin'               Englebert Humperdinck         1976
28- Sometimes When We Touch        Dan Hill                      1978
29- Ebony and Ivory                Paul McCartney/Stevie Wonder  1982
30- Escape (The Pina Colada Song)  Rupert Holmes                 1979
31- Put Your Hand In The Hand      Ocean                         1971
32- Have You Never Been Mellow     Olivia Newton-John            1975
33- Kung Fu Fighting               Carl Douglas                  1975
34- Da Doo Ron Ron                 Shaun Cassidy                 1977
35- The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia
                                   Vicki Lawrence                1973
36- I Am Woman                     Helen Reddy                   1971
37- We Love You, Call Collect      Art Linkletter                1969
38- Party All The Time             Eddie Murphy                  1985
39- Fernando                       ABBA                          1976
40- Those Were The Days            Mary Hopkin                   1968
41- Love Will Keep Us Together     The Captain & Tenille         1975
42- Jean                           Oliver                        1969
43- The Night Chicago Died         Paper Lace                    1974
44- Venus                          Bananarama                    1987
45- Watching Scotty Grow           Bobby Goldsboro               1971
46- A Horse With No Name           America                       1972
47- Copacabana (At The Copa)       Barry Manilow                 1978
48- Indian Reservation             Raiders                       1971
49- Under The Boardwalk            Bruce Willis                  1987
50- Precious and Few               Climax                        1972
51- Half-Breed                     Cher                          1973
52- Do That To Me One More Time    the Captain & Tenille         1979
53- The Dream Weaver               Gary Wright                   1975
54- Cherish                        the Association               1966
55- Is That All There Is           Peggy Lee                     1969
56- I Think We're Alone Now        Tiffany                       1987
57- Think of Laura                 Christopher Cross             1984
58- MacArthur Park                 Donna Summer                  1978
59- In The Navy                    Village People                1979
60- Incense and Peppermints        Strawberry Alarm Clock        1967
61- At Seventeen                   Janis Ian                     1975
62- Touch Me In The Morning        Diana Ross                    1973
63- Rock Me Amadeus                Falco                         1985
64- Girl Watcher                   O'Kaysions                    1968
65- Dust In The Wind               Kansas                        1978
66- Disco Duck                     Rick Dees/Cast of Idiots      1976
67- Wildfire                       Michael Murphey               1975
68- Sussudio                       Phil Collins                  1985
69- The Logical Song               Supertramp                    1979
70- One Tin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack)
                                   Coven                         1971
71- Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me    Mac Davis                     1972
72- Brand New Key                  Melanie                       1971
73- Silly Love Songs               Wings                         1976
74- I Honestly Love You            Olivia Newton-John            1974
75- Simon Says                     1910 Fruitgum Company         1968
76- Sing                           Carpenters                    1973
77- Annie's Song                   John Denver                   1974
78- Babe                           Styx                          1979
79- State of Shock                 Mick Jagger/MIchael Jackson   1984
80- I Just Called To Say I Love You
                                   Stevie Wonder                 1984
81- My Sharona                     the Knack                     1979
82- My Melody of Love              Bobby Vinton                  1974
83- Longer                         Dan Fogelberg                 1979
84- The Morning After              Maureen MacGovern             1973
85- I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing (In Perfect Harmony)
                                   The Hillside Singers          1971
86- Times of Your Life             Paul Anka                     1975
87- Stuck With You                 Huey Lewis & the News         1986
88- It's Still Rock & Roll To Me   Billy Joel                    1980
89- America                        Neil Diamond                  1980
90- Colour My World                Chicago                       1971
91- We'll Sing In The Sunshine     Gail Garnett                  1964
92- I'm Easy                       Keith Carradine               1976
93- Saturday NIght                 Bay City Rollers              1975
94- Do the Clam                    Elvis Presley                 1965
95- Lady                           Kenny Rogers                  1980
96- Good Morning Starshine         Oliver                        1969
97- Pac-Man Fever                  Buckner & Garcia              1982
98- Don't Give Up On Us            David Soul                    1976
99- Tip-Toe Through The Tulips     Tiny Tim                      1968
100-Everybody Have Fun Tonight     Wang Chung                    1986

    There are some _very_ big hits in that list.
    
    
73- Silly Love Songs               Wings                         1976
98- Don't Give Up On Us            David Soul                    1976
    
    The above example shows how silly the list is.

Interesting.  I believe the "artists" with the most songs on the list
are The Captain and Tenille with three.  I'm sorry I don't remember
the Art Linkletter entry -- it was probably a real winner.

Glenn, you're just upset because your countryman Paul Anka is at the top.

    Believe me, I'm _not_ upset about that. 8^)

What worries me is that I've done a couple of those songs for karaoke.

But I'm not telling which ones.

ME

	I agree with Glenn. How can Silly love songs ever be worse than any
song by David Soul????  The man <insert what Maggie Simpson does with pacifier)

    
    >10- The Men In My Little Girl's Life     Mike Douglas     1966
    
    
    It's absolute SACRILEGE to include this song in any "worst" list.

    	What makes a "worst single" anyway?
    
    	Why wasn't The Hustle on this list?  Or "Why Can't We Be 
    	Friends" by War?  Or "Run, Joey, Run" by I-don't-know-who?
    
> 5 - I Write The Songs              Barry Manilow                 1975
    
    	What makes this a "worst"?  Especially a top-10 worst?
    
> 19- Alone Again (Naturally)        Gilbert O'Sullivan            1972
> 53- The Dream Weaver               Gary Wright                   1975
> 58- MacArthur Park                 Donna Summer                  1978
> 61- At Seventeen                   Janis Ian                     1975
> 69- The Logical Song               Supertramp                    1979
> 83- Longer                         Dan Fogelberg                 1979

    	Just flipping through the list, there are far too many to
    	disagree with.  Here are just a few.

    Like I said, big hits in that list, and talented people too!

    Currently, I'm listening to
    
    Staying Alive
    
    by Ozzy Osborne and Dweezil Zappa.
    
    Not much can get worse than that, trust me.

    <----- Proves you're not anole though. 

    As one of the producers of "Cheese Control", a marathon special that we
    do every year at a local college radio station, I must say those folks
    have a firm grasp on what makes a quality dairy product.
    
    There is no electronic forum big enough to span the overwhelming large
    amount of Velveeta tinged music.  Some other things I could add off the
    top of my head:
    	Hocus Pocus by Focus
    	Magic by Pilot
    	the entire Air Supply back catalog
    	Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield
    	Sugar by the Archies (they were a cartoon, fercryinoutloud)
    	I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
    	Papa Don't Preach by Madonna
    	Sweater by Weezer
    
    and the list travels on to infinity
    
    Lisa

    When was the list originally published?  It appears that
    no one has done a bad song since 1987?  I find this very
    hard to believe....

    Well, since CD's are the norm, not too many people release singles
    anymore. Maybe that's it?

    
    	Sorry, Lisa, but by adding those songs and bands you've made
    	your list just as worthwhile as Komar's.
    
    	Which is "not very".
    

    
    	And as an aside, I happen to own the LP with "Pacman Fever" on
    	it.
    
    	[Mind you, I didn't say I liked the LP.  8^)]
    

    There will always be "singles" since it is impractical to play an
    entire CD at once over the radio airwaves.
    
    There have been bad songs written since 1987, and plenty of them.
    It takes time to realize how truly cheesy they are however, because they
    generally fit in with whatever is trendy at the time, and enough water
    has to flow underthe bridge to be able to turn around and say "I
    listened to/wore/looked like/lived like that?"
    
    Take all those cheesy glam metal bands of the mid-80's.  A wealth of
    fermented dairy products for your turntable.
    
    Give it a few years, and the Cheez Whiz potential of many one-hit
    wonder "rap" bands will be fully realized. (Hammer, Vanilla Ice,
    Wrexx-n-Effects)
    
    The major brie of the 90's though has got to be Pearl Temple Jam. 
    "Jeremy" was really pretentious, and since STP follows everything that
    Pearl Jam does, I'm sure they've got an equivalent in their catalog.
    The MTV Buzz Bin is turning out major league cheesers by the dozens.
    Weezer, Veruca Salt, late model Smashing Pumpkins, late model Soul
    Asylum, Julianna Hatfield......the list will be absolutely enormous by
    the this thing wears itself out, ensuring "Cheese Control" fodder into
    the 21st century.
    
    Lisa

    After reading through the replies again, I deleted the original .419.
    I can't really figure out what Shawn was talking about in his response 
    when he mentioned my list was not worthwhile.  Do you like all those
    songs I added?
    
    Listening to any of the singles mentioned here brings visions of
    Liberace's mansion into my head.
    
    Lisa

    how about adding any or ALL _rap_ artists

    IMO anything by Bob Dylan!!
    
    Love a lot of the stuff he's written, just as long as someone else
    is singing it :-)
    
    

    Hey... I hearf that song 'In The Year 2525' a while back....try 3
    years! I thought it was pretty funky !  :*)serious:*) 

Nah, he original was bad enough, but did you hear Visage's version
of it?  Aargh!

Chris.

    Why was "tip toe through the tulips" only #99 (barely making the list,
    I guess).  This was the most grating, annoying, gawd-awful "song" I've
    ever heard.  Put it at #1 all time most rotten single.
    
    I agree with most of the list, but there are a few that most certainly
    do not belong there, and not just because they were huge hits in their
    day, but because there are a bunch of songs out there that are tons
    worse.  
    
    I also noticed a mysterious lack of heavy metal on the list.  There are
    hundreds of horrifying tunes in this genere alone to choose from- tunes
    that only remotely resemble music.  Same with a lot of rap.
    
    
    -steve

    
    	Any list that DOESN'T include "Midnight at the Oasis" has to be
    	incomplete [at best] or useless [at worst].  But that's not why
    	I don't like the list.
    
    	Not just because I like a bunch of those songs, but that they
    	were liked by enough people to make them good for something.  I
    	am not saying that a song is good because it's popular, by any
    	means [and I use Mariah Carey's material as an example], but I
    	do believe that popularity has SOME merit.
    
    	And Steve, I won't comment on your opinion of heavy metal, since
    	I realize that alot of people don't like it, but some of the crap
    	that's been written in the last 20-30 years was written for the
    	sole purpose of being a novelty.  "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" was
    	never intended to be a hit, but because it was "different" it was
    	thought worthwhile by some [like me].  If you want to hear some
    	good novelty stuff, check out some of the stuff Dr. Demento plays
    	on his show [if he still has a show] ... Weird Al Yankovic, Barnes
    	& Barnes, etc.
    

    re: .426
    
    And what is my opinion on heavy metal?
    
    Good thing you didn't comment, as I LIKE heavy metal.  Unfortunately,
    there are probably 5 crap metal singles for every good one, though I'll
    admit I don't follow it as close as I used to.
     
    One need only watch MTV's headbanger's ball to see a few examples of crap 
    (though I'll admit to seeing some decent metal on this show, as well).
    
    Same with rap.  I don't dislike all rap, but I must admit that the same
    ratio (if not worse) of bad to good singles exist.
    
    Sorry if you took offense to my comments on "tip toe", but even looking 
    at it as a novelty (and I am well aware of this intention) does not make 
    such a grating catastrophe worthwhile listening.  You are, of course, 
    entitled to think differently.
    
    
    -steve

    Didn't Merle Haggard sing " Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of
    Life"? That's got to be in the top ten worst.
    
    ...Tom

       <<< Note 329.428 by DASHER::RALSTON "Anagram: Lost hat on Mars" >>>

>    Didn't Merle Haggard sing " Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of
>    Life"? That's got to be in the top ten worst.
    
You gotta be kidding, Tom! It's a classic! They should deserve wing for it 
in the music hall of fame for the title alone! :')

(As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever heard it, and I still think 
it's great. :'))

>                      <<< Note 329.429 by SHRCTR::DAVIS >>>
> (As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever heard it, and I still think 
> it's great. :'))

Well, we obviously need the lyrics in the lyrics note.
I'd like get the lyrics for "Plastic Jesus", as performed by Cool Hand Luke,
also.

thankew.

    	Practically any Country 'n Western should be on the list.

Hey, I like #2, 13, and 91 

#85 should be the top(bottom) of the list or maybe #2 after tiny tim :-}

Amos

    
    "Popular" is not often equal to "good".
    
    McDonalds, Rambo movies, Budweiser, and trade paperbacks come to mind
    as popular things of minimal quality........
    
    Never overestimate the taste of the American general public.
    
    Lisa
    
    

    
    
    	There are too many on that list that I like !!
    

    
    <groan>

	what Hank said.  with a <ngung> thrown in for good measure.

    
    I may not LIKE many of them on the list, but I can sing pretty much every 
    one except for the Art Linkletter song 8^).
                                          

re heavy metal,

nearly all of the older heavy metal stuff is pretty good, the likes
of Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Deep Purple etc.  Of the later stuff,
about half of it was good, like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest.  Of
the latest stuff, most of it is crap, and I won't defile my keyboard
by entering the names of the bands responsible.

Chris.

    and don't forget the other tiny tim classic "the icecaps are melting"

    it's not a vocal track but if you have heard "the hunting mass of st.
    hubert" played on real hunting horns then I think it should be given a 
    de-facto nomination
    

    Hey !! I just realised something (a day late !!) the screaming cat,
    Whitney Houston didn't appear on that 100 listing. Why not ? Let me
    refresh your memory:
    
    Andddd IIIIIIEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEIIII WILLLL ALLWAYYYSS LOVE
    YOUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOo.....
    
    
    		Arrrrg Putui, gunna barf...blurrrrrrrrrrrghhhh cough cough.

Thankyou Martin.  I'd just managed to forget that bloody awful dirge,
then some git has to bring it up again...

Chris.

    It was okay the first couple times, but it does tend to grate on one's
    nerves after that.

    I think Chris' description was closest.

    	Looking more at .401, I wonder why there is nothing by Cindi
    	Lauper, Joe Cocker, or Boy George in there...
    
    	What makes for a "worst single" anyway!

   ... or Bob Dylan.  I didn't see any Bob Dylan on the list.

    
    	To expand on my previous reply:
    
    	These lists aren't usually a "worst of" anything.  They're mostly
    	lists of songs that the author/editor doesn't like.
    
    	In order to define a "bad song" you 1st have to know what makes
    	a song bad to begin with.  I mean, I know what I'd consider a bad
    	song ... not sure if I could define it or not, but I know I can
    	identify a song I don't like if I hear it.  But a bad song to me
    	could [and probably is] a good song to someone else.
    

    
    >And what is my opinion on heavy metal?
    >
    >Good thing you didn't comment, as I LIKE heavy metal.  Unfortunately,
    >there are probably 5 crap metal singles for every good one, though I'll
    >admit I don't follow it as close as I used to.
    
    	OK, well I'm glad I didn't yell at you.  8^)  It sounded like you
    	were saying "I don't like HM and don't want to talk about it".
    	And you're right ... there is alot of crap out there.  Especially
    	most death/thrash metal with VERY grating vocals, seemingly writ-
    	ten for the sole purpose of being nothing but noise.
    
    	I'm a big HM fan, and try to keep up with most of the bands, but
    	it's not easy keeping my collection stocked with new good bands
    	all the time.  Most of the new stuff seems to be re-hashed old
    	stuff by different bands.
    
    >One need only watch MTV's headbanger's ball to see a few examples of crap 
    >(though I'll admit to seeing some decent metal on this show, as well).
    
    	I used to watch this show ... not for the videos, but just to have
    	an idea of what was new so I could go look for it if I liked it.
    	This was my 1st and only taste of Funhouse, and the next week I
    	went out and bought "Generation Generator", which turned out to
    	be one of my favorite albums.  If you like funky metal then I'd
    	definitely recommend this one.  And in the "similar but different"
    	category, definitely check out Scatterbrain.
    
    	But too much of the HBB seemed to be death/thrash or a poseur
    	band.  Nothing wrong with poseur bands in moderation, though.
    
    >Same with rap.  I don't dislike all rap, but I must admit that the same
    >ratio (if not worse) of bad to good singles exist.
    
    	I really don't like rap.  No offense to anyone here, but I like
    	"white rap" [Vanilla Ice, etc.] but don't like "black rap" or
    	"gangster rap" [and I can't even name any of the bands].  But I
    	do like "dance rap" ... the pop stuff that's touted as "rap" but
    	is made for the Top-40 audience [Tone Loc, Heavy D, etc.].
    
    >Sorry if you took offense to my comments on "tip toe", but even looking 
    >at it as a novelty (and I am well aware of this intention) does not make 
    >such a grating catastrophe worthwhile listening.  You are, of course, 
    >entitled to think differently.
    
    	Very good point ... it's not the best song ever written.  8^)
    

    I agree. Heavy metal sure isn`t what it used to be. Bands don`t even
    have long hair any more.
    
    

    
    	RE: Stu
    
    	But they still use just as much hairspray.
    
    	I guess that's a good thing, right?
    
    
    	As long as your name is Revlon or Breck.
    

    don't worry, if they're dumb enough to bring back bell bottoms
    and paisley, spandex and hair spray can't be far behind.

    I for one hope spandex never goes out of fashion.  

    
    	If it does, Bon Jovi might as well shoot himself.
    
    	A viable alternative to going around naked, IMO.
    

    
    
    <----not!!!!!!
    
    
    
    {pant}{pant}{pant}
    
    

    
    
    	Shawn....
    
    	Bon Jovi hasn't worn spandex for years............
    
    	(unfortunately.    =)  )
    

    it's like Dennis Leary says, "Steven Rayvon(sp?) dies and we can get
    Jon Bon Jovi in a helicopter." 
    
    Chip
    
    

    
    
    RE: .457  That, my friend, is the bigggest crock of droppings that I
    have ever read......
    
    

    This Bon Jovi guy, is he a ball player or sumpthin'?

    
    well, i wouldn't mind playing wi...nevermid....
    
    

    Re: Bon Jovi...a ball player
    
    he might as well be he's no musician :-)
    
    
    
     Dean

    
    you forgot 'in my not so humble opinion'...
    
    
    :>
    

    i believe it a verifyable fact (statistically even)
    
    Chip

    
    
    and your evidence????
    
    
    

    <---  Just listen to him... ;-)
    
    
    whoa oh livin on my hair...
    
    		Dean

    
    
    	Dean...
    
    	Watch it' bub....you be treadin' on thin ice.  =)
    
    	He doesn't *have* all that hair anymore.  He doesn't use
    	hairspray, doesn't wear spandex and IMO can *still* sing
    	quite well tyvm.  And they put on an excellent show.  
    
    	so there.  =p
    
    	JJ

    
    	RE: .464
    
    	If I 2nd the motion will you concede?
    

    Speaking of Jon Bon Jovi, he will NOT be starring in "The Crow II."  It
    is being made, though, I just forget who will star.  I think he was in
    "Queen Margot," but I can't be sure.

    Mikey,
    
    Isn't it sad when someone doesn't recognize greatness?
    
    

    Sure is, Karen.
    
    
    Mike

>>
>>    Mikey,
>>    
>>    Isn't it sad when someone doesn't recognize greatness?

    what are you guys talking about?  mr. jollimore was just correcting
    the spelling of SRV.
    
    

    My most humble apologies, Lady Di (and Mr. Jollimore).
    
    

    The Crow II?  When is this due out?
    
    I think they have their work cut out for them in finding a "Crow" that
    fit the part as well as Brandon Lee.  It would be a shame if the sequel
    inhales, as I found The Crow to be an excellent film.  The cinematography 
    was superb, setting the perfect mood; while Mr. Lee's final performance
    made the character come alive.
    
    The music, though for the most part not my cup of tea, was really well
    integrated into the various scenes, triggering the proper emotion.
    
    Not a movie for the kiddies, though.
    
    
    -steve

    JonBomb(tm) couldn't be in Crow II because they needed a musician for
    the part.
    
    hope this helps,
    Mike

    
    
    shawn:   no.
    
    

    Bon Jovi are great, the whole bloody lot of 'em. Ya'll are just jealous
    because Richie Sambora is married to Heather Lochlear who is a major
    babe. Any how, I'll play Tic-Tac-Toe with anyone who says otherwise !!
    
    And I mean it too !!!! :*)

    I have not read this whole string so I do not know if anyone else has 
    mentioned this but.
    The group Boyz2men (sp)
    The songs are ok but the off beat lead singer is begining to grape.
    
    Or maybe my hearing is off a tad :*)
    
    
    
    And before anyone jumps, read, graTe, not graPe.
    
    
    
    joan

>    My most humble apologies, Lady Di (and Mr. Jollimore).

	my dad doesn't note here ;-)
	
	sorry, i wasn't paying attention. thanks to the lady of the house
	for the correction. SRV is not on the worst vocalist list.  his
	signing voice matched his guitar playing, imo.   
	
	Jay

    >his signing voice matched his guitar playing, imo.
    
     That musta been one talented individual to sign and play gitter at the
    same time.

	ooops. guess it was his voice signature.  ;-)

    They had Bon Jovi on a documentary on BBC2 the other night all about
    the music biz.
    
    I didn`t like him at all. He`s interviewed saying "hey,man. I`m a rock
    n`roller,and all these photo sessions aren`t my gig at all. They`re
    necessary,I guess..but they`re not important to me" ad nauseum.
    
    Then it cuts to the editor of Raw Power magazine having been given very
    specific instructions that no photos must be published without the 
    permission of Sir Jon Bon Jovi himself,and they all had to be touched
    up to avoid showing any wrinkles.
    
    Then another shot with him saying "hey,man. All I wanted to do was a
    bit of busking,`cos it`s rock n`roll which matters to me. Then all these
    people turned up,blah,blah" 
    
    By "sheer coincidence" half of London`s media and tv crews happened to
    turn up to see him do a bit ofimpromptu bit of busking. Nice splash of
    free publicity all over the National Newspapers the next day.
    
     

    
    
    	'busking'  ??
    

    
    Performing in public, usually hoping for donations from passers-by.

    
    
    	Thanks for clearing that up Mz-Deb.
    

    notice he said he was a rock'n'roller and not a musician.

    He`s a plonker. Note his latest song sounds all like his other songs.
    
    Mind you,i`m probably just jealous. `Cos all the girls fancy him,and
    not me.
    
    I wonder why? ho,ho!
    
    

     .486  Nonsense - anyone whose p_name is "Half Man, Half Biscuit"
           has to be more interesting than Jon Bon Jovi.

    
    Ever see the episode of Beavis & Butthead when they cut up a Bon Jovi
    video??  Beavis comments on how Jon Bon Jovi (with his new haircut)
    looks like Bridgette Fonda.
    
    

    
    
    huh!!!  yet another reason to hate b&b...
    
    

       ________________                              _______________ 
      /                \                           /----------------\ 
     / /          \ \   \                         /|    -    -       \
     |                  |                         || /        -   \  |
    /                  /                          \\                 \
   |      ___\ \| | / /                            \\____________  \  \
   |      /           |                             \            \    | 
   |      |     __    |                             |             \   \ 
  /       |       \   |                             |              \  | 
  |       |        \  |                             | ====          | |
  |       |       __  |                             | (o-)      _   | | 
  |      __\     (_o) |      DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN!  /            \  | |
  |     |             |                     \      /            ) ) | |
   \    ||             \   Breakin the Law!  \    /             ) / | | 
    |   |__             \  Breakin the LAW!   \  |___            - |  | 
    |   |           (*___\  /                  \    *'             |  |
    |   |       _     | ___/  Hey, raq said she \  |____           |  |
    |   |    //_______|    \  doesn't like us!!!-\_ ####\          |  |
    |  /       |_|_|_|___/\ \                      ------          |_/  
     \|       \ -         |  That's because raq   |                | 
      |       _----_______/  is a _Babe! She must \_____           | 
      |      /               be right! Let's change our \          |
      |_____/                ways!!! heh heh heh...      \_________|

    
    
    remind me to {smaq} you, glen...
    
    
    ;>
    

coooooollllllll

    What`s funnier??
    
    Butt-head and Beavis or the Simpsons??
    
    

    
    
    They are both completely revolting!
    

 None of the above

    
    Beevis and Butthead dood! :)
    
    

	Simpsons......

    Setting up for Mr. Leech!!!!!!!

    Thank you.

    
    Beevis and Butthead rooolz!
    
    "I am cornholio!"
    
    -b

"...I need TP for my bung hole!!!"

    Thanks, Jack.  Seems I'm a bit late to take advantage of your generous
    set up, though.  

You can throw Ren and Stimpy in with those type of cartoons
too....

    Sacrilege.  Yo, tumbril-draggers.  We have a live one.
    

    Ren and Stimpy is great
    The Simpsons are great
    Beavis and Butthead are crap, occasionally funny.

    I know it sounds odd,but the humour of Beavis and Butthead is quite
    subtle. It took me a long time to get the joke.
    
    They speak a lot of truisms. Like "money and chicks rule. Work sucks".
    
    Which,if you think about it,is quite true.
    

    oh ya, they're deep. just a little over-display of a propensity for the
    obvious, doncha think.

    i just realized something sad. we're talking and treating these guys
    as if they were real.
    
    ooops, hope i didn't burst any bubbles out there.

    
    re: .506
    
    This from a man who seems to be on a constant binge...
    

    I think what Mr. Cooks is getting at is that Beevis and Butthead
    represent some lower form of life that some of us like to slide
    into every once in a while. It's all well and good to pretend
    that we're above it all, but the fact is that we were all young
    and stupid once and for most of us all that's changed is that
    we're not young anymore. I know I'm giving ample opportunity
    for a few of you to assume your usual high positions atop the
    horse, but you're just being pretentious and FOS, so spare me...

    I admit that both my wife and I will on occasion pull our
    T-shirts up around our heads, with our arms tucked in so only
    the hands are flapping out by ears, and proclaim in a loud
    voice "I am the great Cornholio!" Too effin' bad for you
    if you can't get a laugh out of acting truly stupid. At least
    I don't have to live with you!

    -b
    
    

	i think B&B sux.  whereas the simpsons doesn't.

    Ren and Stimpy blows them both away.

Worst vocalist recording of all time..., people, Worst vocalist recording of
all time....

 ....and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIII willl
always looooooooooooooooooooooooooooove yoooooooooooooooooooo

    Hold still, this won't hurt if you hold still.  I just need to adjust
    the aim a bit, hold it, hold it......
    
    BANG! 
    
    There, that's much better now.
    
    

    Who's gona pay the bill? 
    
    By Peggy Lee.
    
    
    joan

    That Dexy`s Midnight Runners singer.
    
    

    
    Too-ra-loo-ra-too-ra-loo-ry-ayyy!
    

<---- gee thanks John.... now I'm gonna have that song in 
my head all afternoon!  :-(

Annie Lennox singing "A Whiter Shade of Pale" - this version
bites!

>this version bites!

what the bollox is that supposed to mean?!

Chris.

    
    One of the truly horrible things about artificial tanning (especially
    when compared to the relatively minor irritation of the possibility
    of skin cancer) is that you are forced to just...well...stand there
    and listen to some of the world's worst music for about fifteen
    minutes at a stretch.
    
    This morning, I finally heard that dance version of "Total Eclipse
    of the Heart," originally done a decade ago by Bonnie Tyler.
    
    Who would've thought that the state of popular music would have
    slid so far into the abyss in only ten years?  It was all I could
    do to keep from fleeing into the streets, screaming, naked, and
    traumatized by the experience.
    
    I need a support group or something...
    
    
    
    Rob
                                             

     You mean you weren't wearing an athletic support group?  OUCH!!
    

    re: .523
    
    Dance version of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'??  How?  It was a slow
    song.  Cossacks!!

Probably one of those pants Jungle things, which sounds like there's someone
on speed banging away at a biscuit tin with a wet haddock.

Chris.

>    Dance version of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'??  How?

Yup. One of my wife's pet peeves, and I'd have to say I agree totally... all
the passion, pathos, and beauty of that song are utterly destroyed in this
version.

BTW, for those that noticed "Eagle 93" won't play the "white boy" part of
"Play That Funky Music"... didja also notice that they have no problem with
"the colored girls go doo do doo do doo" in "Walk On the Wild Side"?

Interesting version of correctness there...

    Why won't they play the "white boy" part?  That's rather silly.  

    Reasons number 487 and 488 not to listen to Eagle 93.  They play both
    those songs.  

    -1 you forgot to mention over and over and over... sheesh, i know
    they're woring inside a 10 yr. format, but it it gets to be much
    some days...

    Eagle 93 is crap.  They frequently edit songs for content, but even
    more frequently simply for length, so they can cram more commercials
    in there.  Then, when they do play a song full-length, they go out
    of their way to crow about it, like it was something great.
    
    If I ever win Mass Millions, along with the "Nick at Nite done right"
    TV station, I'll also start an oldies-done-right station, because
    no one's doing it right, at least around the Boston area.
    
    Chris

    
    
    	I hate it when any radio station does that.  One of 'em
    	(I forget which one) cuts out the 'you'll never find your
    	gold on a sandy beach' etc lyrics of Meatloaf's "Two Outta
    	Three Ain't Bad" and that annoys me all to ****.
    
    	JJ
    

Yah, reminds me of the 70s when no song at all was ever allowed to be over
3 minutes long.

You'd buy a record and say "Hey, where'd all that come from?"

    The Ramones are the masters of the under-3 minute song.  Doesn't Howard
    Stern remind you of Joey Ramone (if he put a bowl on his head and cut
    around the edges?)

    Didn't The Ramones do that pet Cemetary song... or am I way of ??
    
    ....5 is RIGHT OUT!

Way of what?  Way of the warbler?


\C

    Ok ok !! Thankyou Miss English Teacher :*)