Conference back40::soapbox

           William Safire's Rules for Writers:
 
Remember to never split an infinitive.  The passive voice should never
be used.  Do not put statements in the negative form.  Verbs have to
agree with their subjects.  Proofread carefully to see if you words
out.  If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal
of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.  A writer must
not shift your point of view.  And don't start a sentence with a
conjunction.  (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a
sentence with.)  Don't overuse exclamation marks!!  Place pronouns as
close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more
words, to their antecedents.  Writing carefully, dangling participles
must be avoided.  If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a
linking verb is.  Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
metaphors.  Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.  Everyone should
be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their
writing.  Always pick on the correct idiom.  The adverb always follows
the verb.  Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek
viable alternatives.


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	Oooooink, I love to eat pearls......%^)

           William Shatner's Rules for Writers:
 

Remember to never spit an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used
when one can overact! Do not put statements in the negative form, as you need
to build up the crew of a Starship, regardless of what you really think of
their abilities. Vulcans have to agree with their subjects. If you reread your 
work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be rewritten as
melodramatic catch phrases! Overuse exclamation marks!!  They make you sound
more exciting! Place Romulans as close as possible, especially in long trips.
Writing carefully, dangling private parts, BOTH must be avoided. Take the ship
by the hand and avoid crashing into meteors. NEVER avoid trendy locutions that 
sound flaky. Always pick on the correct dilithium crystal. The 1st officer
always follows the captain. Last but not least, add in cliches like the plague; 
never seek viable alternatives.

	Bwahahahah, good one Glen. Fits him to a "T".

    safire left out one:
    
    do not use commas, which are unnecessary.

| <<< Note 149.4 by GMT1::TEEKEMA "Holly sheep dip Batman....." >>>


| Bwahahahah, good one Glen. Fits him to a "T".


	As in Tiberius?

    James "T." for the neophytes

    .3  Good one. Thanks for the laughs.
    

    
    Oh mz_deb????????  Mz_Deb!!!!!!!!!!
    
    This'll put your knickers in a twist!!!
    
    
    
     Taken from a for sale ad...
    
    ___________________________________________________________________________
    
    	(Reason for repost; person I sold it toos daughter wanted
    something new like all the other kids had, so I agreed to the return)
    
    

 Frightening!

Expensive speakers advertised in the Want Advertiser: "Hardly abused."

    
    	RE: Andy
    
    	I saw that ... at least he could have used "too's".
    

    
    
    I wish I could see mz_deb's knickers as she reads that....
    
    :) :)
    

re: .9

Hey - NBD! Simply a missing-apostrophe and 
lack_of_some_sort_of_horizontal_bar_type_punctuation alert.

    
    	Jack, if you think that's all it would take to fix that sentence
    	then I'm sorry to hear that.
    

    
    >I wish I could see mz_deb's knickers as she reads that....
    
    8^o
    
    

    
    	Twisted, or untwisted?
    

    Actually heard on a Washington, DC, television station several years
    ago:
    
    	Congress narrowly missed not killing the repeal of the tax cut.
    
    Will you have more money or less?
    
    
    				-- edp
    
    
Public key fingerprint:  8e ad 63 61 ba 0c 26 86  32 0a 7d 28 db e7 6f 75
To find PGP, read note 2688.4 in Humane::IBMPC_Shareware.

    >>	Congress narrowly missed not killing the repeal of the tax cut.
    >
    >Will you have more money or less?
    
    Why, both, of course.
    
    Chris

    heard on the news tonite:
    
    "the driver of the tank(er) was fatally killed when he was badly
    crushed beneath the tanker"
    
    ??
    
    for this I pay nothing to watch the evening news?
    
    

    News is all about death.

    > News is all about death.
    
    well, why take life seriously? You ain't gonna get out of it alive
    anyway!