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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:No more new notes
Moderator:WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS
Created:Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:862
Total number of notes:339684

82.0. "Least Boinkable Celebrity" by TROOA::COLLINS (Not Phil, not Tom, not Joan...) Mon Nov 21 1994 12:05

    
    Marge Simpson
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
82.1NETCAD::WOODFORDTheTimesTheyAreA'Changin'Mon Nov 21 1994 12:194
    
    
    Kramer
    
82.2BSS::R_LOGANMon Nov 21 1994 12:392
    kramer vs. kramer
    
82.3BSS::R_LOGANMon Nov 21 1994 12:402
    roseanne barr...ff
    
82.4WMOIS::GIROUARD_CMon Nov 21 1994 12:501
    George Costanza's mother...
82.5TOOK::GASKELLMon Nov 21 1994 12:511
    Dr. Ruth
82.6NETCAD::WOODFORDTheTimesTheyAreA'Changin'Mon Nov 21 1994 12:524
    
    
    Beavis and Butthead
    
82.7He owns the PatriotsBIGQ::SILVAMemories.....Mon Nov 21 1994 13:166

	what does ff stand for?


	Robert Kraft's wife.
82.8SECOP1::CLARKMon Nov 21 1994 16:563
    No contest - Roseanne Barr/Arnold whatever. It's a toss-up as to which
    is worse - the sound of her voice or the sight of her with that
    nightmare hairdo.
82.9NETCAD::WOODFORDLifeIsANumberAndMine'sUnlisted.Mon Nov 21 1994 16:574
    
    
    Kermit the frog
    
82.10SUBPAC::SADINgeneric, PC personal name.Mon Nov 21 1994 16:594

	miss piggy is kinda cute tho'....

82.11rascists and...........BRUMMY::WILLIAMSMBorn to grepTue Nov 22 1994 08:391
    Americans
82.12Sandra BernhartGIAMEM::HOVEYTue Nov 22 1994 14:332
    
    	Sandra Bernhart.........(SP?).....
82.13MPGS::MARKEYSenses Working OvertimeTue Nov 22 1994 14:4710
    Sandra Bernhardt:
    
    She's a lesbian... so unless you're a Sheila, ain't no boinkin' to be
    done anyway... rumored to have had a relationship with Madonna BTW.
    
    I find her intriguing m'self. She's a leftylib, but she's a fiesty one
    and I bet would be a hell of a lot of fun to take out on a date... I
    could think of worse company.
    
    -b
82.14BIGQ::SILVAMemories.....Tue Nov 22 1994 14:594


	Actually, she's bisexual, so it would be possible....
82.15WAHOO::LEVESQUEwhat's the frequency, Kenneth?Tue Nov 22 1994 15:292
    She's butt ugly. it'd take me three racks to be in the mood for her and 
    by then it would be a moot point. ;-)
82.16oh dearPOWDML::LAUERoh dear (tm)Tue Nov 22 1994 15:291
    
82.17A helpful hintMPGS::MARKEYSenses Working OvertimeTue Nov 22 1994 15:323
    Just ask for an extra bag next time ya go to the grocer...
    
    -b
82.18POBOX::BATTISThat's why the ladys a trampTue Nov 22 1994 16:035
    
    She had an affair with Amanda Bearse of "Married with Children"
    if this helps, but heckva big, big nose.
    
    Mark
82.19S. BernhartGIAMEM::HOVEYWed Nov 23 1994 12:096
    
    	Playboy had a special on a few years back...I think it was a New
    Years special...she made sure to catch the camera by mugging with every 
    woman in the room...her whole act is revolting, maybe that is her act.
    I can't see how anyone could find anything about her attractive.......
    Yuck..........
82.20GAVEL::JANDROWGreen Eyed Lady...Wed Nov 23 1994 12:595
    
    sandra is butt ugly, as pointed out earlier, but she is funny as hell. 
    i really like her.  who the hells cares who she is sleeping with...
    
    
82.2157784::LAUERD-Day: 1/9/95Wed Nov 23 1994 13:303
    
    Bob Neumeyer ("Neumie"...ack ptththth)
                    
82.22Ready Aim FireGIAMEM::HOVEYWed Nov 23 1994 13:343
    
    As long as this ain't serious; Aunt Bea, Granny (original), Grandma
    Walton, ....
82.23Enquiring MindsGIAMEM::HOVEYWed Nov 23 1994 13:372
    
    re-.21 what about Nuemie with his make-up on?
82.24put a set of pumps on him though.... :-)BIGQ::SILVAMemories.....Wed Nov 23 1994 13:464


	neumie is a noey, with or without makeup
82.25POWDML::LAUERD-Day: 1/9/95Wed Nov 23 1994 13:483
    
    Neumie is butt-ugly, no question about it.  Either his head is too big
    or his shoulders are too small.
82.26BIGQ::SILVAMemories.....Wed Nov 23 1994 13:505


	Mz Debra.... his head is too big, add in all that hair, he has little
beady eyes that squint. End result is he is fugly.
82.27Thank God, no one is.SUBPAC::JJENSENJojo the Fishing WidowWed Nov 23 1994 13:521
At least he's no Irving R. Levine.
82.28BIGQ::SILVAMemories.....Wed Nov 23 1994 13:544


	SCREAM!!! That was TOOOOOO funny!
82.29MPGS::MARKEYSenses Working OvertimeWed Nov 23 1994 16:555
    The older Neumie gets, the more he looks like Ted Kennedy.
    
    This _is not_ a good thing.
    
    -b
82.30GLDOA::SHOOKhead 'em up, move 'em outWed Nov 23 1994 19:495
    
    ann lewis leaps to the front of the pack...
    
    but at the finish line, its eleanor clift by a nose...
    
82.31EXITASABET::EARLSMon Nov 28 1994 12:221
    tom arnold.................GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
82.32He's got Marty Feldman's eyes....BIGQ::SILVAMemories.....Mon Nov 28 1994 15:424


	Marty Feldman
82.33POLAR::RICHARDSONThe Quintessential GruntlingMon Nov 28 1994 15:461
    Well, in his case you'd have to dig him up and love him rotten.
82.34MPGS::MARKEYSenses Working OvertimeMon Nov 28 1994 15:485
    >He's got Marty Feldman's eyes..
    
    Uh oh. This does *not* bode well for moi! :-) :-) :-)
    
    -b
82.35WAHOO::LEVESQUEwhat's the frequency, Kenneth?Tue Nov 29 1994 08:145
    Molly Yard
    Roseann Barrnold
    Molly Ringwold
    Olivia Dukakis
    Hillary Clinton
82.36HBFDT1::SCHARNBERGSenior KodierwurstTue Nov 29 1994 08:227
    Nadja Auermann
    Cyndi Lauper			
    Rebecca de Ruovo
    Princess Anne
    Molly RingwAld
    
    
82.37Noel, Noelll! NOELLLLL, NOOOO-ELLLLLLL!!!DECWIN::RALTOTue Nov 29 1994 13:4111
    >> Molly Ringwold
    
    For a good laugh this holiday season, pick up a copy of "Disney's
    Family Christmas" CD (approx. title) and fire up the track that
    has a youthful Molly Ringwald belting-out "The First Noel".  Turn
    up the volume for added effect.
    
    I'm sure I put this in the previous box a year ago, but it's soooo
    good that it bears repeating.
    
    Chris
82.38CALDEC::RAHthe truth is out there.Tue Nov 29 1994 14:082
    
    Ann Richards?
82.39COVERT::COVERTJohn R. CovertTue Nov 29 1994 14:101
Silver Foot Fetishists like her!
82.40a few right off the top.....TROOA::TRP109::Chris...plays well with other childrenWed Nov 30 1994 10:406
Geraldo Riviera
Larry King
Homer Simpson
Holling Ventura (actor's name??)
Dennis Franz (aka Andy Siepowitz)
the "big" guy on "Wings"
82.41WMOIS::GIROUARD_CWed Nov 30 1994 11:521
    <- big guy on Wings = Roy Biggins
82.42I am sick just thinking of theseAIMTEC::MORABITO_PHotlanta RocksMon Dec 12 1994 15:2129
And now for my list of least boinkable celebs (I am bored at home sick).

	Roseanne Barr Arnold Ziffel the pig.   Apparently her new fiancee
	thinks so as well.  She had to be artificially insemenated to get
	pregnant.  Did they use an elephant doctor?

	Mare Winningham - Her parents must have had a premonition, 
	although this is unfair to horses.

	Shelly Long - That whine.

	Brenda Vaccaro - Proof Michael Douglas must have a sexual addiction 
        problem.

	Shelly Duvall - (from The Shining) - Jack was crazy before he got
	to the hotel.

	Molly Ringwald - Why did it take so long for her to become 
	unpopular? 

	The Gabor sisters - Is there really that many stupid millionaires 
	out there.  Can anyone name a movie these bimbos have been in?

	The British Royal Family - Mare Winningham should have been adopted
	by them.

Paul
	
82.43POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 13:371
    Tatoo
82.44MPGS::MARKEYPee Wee Herman for Surgeon General!Tue Dec 13 1994 13:395
    >Tatoo
    
    Hmmm. Yes. Especially if _everything_ was in similar proportion.
    
    -b
82.45POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 14:104
    No, it would be all of that screaming of "ZEEEEEE PLANE!" during
    coitus.

    Glenn
82.46SUBPAC::JJENSENJojo the Fishing WidowTue Dec 13 1994 14:131
<----  But what's Anton's opinion?
82.47POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 14:151
    He never ever saw Faaaaantasy Island.
82.48MPGS::MARKEYPee Wee Herman for Surgeon General!Tue Dec 13 1994 14:183
    Are you kidding? I think he _invented_ it!
    
    -b
82.49POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 14:191
    You're starting to traumatize me.
82.50SUBPAC::JJENSENJojo the Fishing WidowTue Dec 13 1994 14:211
Is there someone else there we can talk to?
82.51BIGQ::SILVANobody wants a Charlie in the Box!Tue Dec 13 1994 16:123

	Well, it would be worse now with Tatoo... he is dead ya know....
82.52MOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Tue Dec 13 1994 16:301
What's a little necrophilia among friends?
82.53MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 16:326
    >What's a little necrophilia among friends?
    
    Keeping in mind that we're talking about Tatoo, "little necrophilia"
    has some interesting overtones! :-)
    
    -b
82.54oh dearPOWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of PerditionTue Dec 13 1994 16:381
    
82.55MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 16:403
    Isn't it time for Tatoo to yell "Gwab my haaand"?
    
    -b
82.56CONSLT::MCBRIDEaspiring peasantTue Dec 13 1994 16:421
    wouldn't that be undertones?  
82.57GAVEL::JANDROWAu naturelle..back 2 basicsTue Dec 13 1994 16:527
    
    
    no...it's understones...
    
    
    :>
    
82.58JULIET::MORALES_NASweet Spirit&#039;s Gentle BreezeTue Dec 13 1994 17:131
    snARF!
82.59SPEZKO::FRASERMobius Loop; see other sideTue Dec 13 1994 17:162
        Necrophilia is dead boring anyway...
        
82.60POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:221
    Of corpse it is!
82.61MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:221
    Are we about to beat this subject to death?
82.62POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:231
    Some people like having stiffs.
82.63MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:231
    This could have grave consequences.
82.64CONSLT::MCBRIDEaspiring peasantTue Dec 13 1994 17:244
    This is gravely distrubing.  I think it is an immoral plot.  How anyone
    cadaver consider such a thing is beyond me.
    
    
82.65POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:271
    I don't eulogy do this.
82.66MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:291
    It's time to wake up and drink a coroner beer.
82.67POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:341
    Why not settle for a Zombie?
82.68MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:361
    This is resurrecting bad memories.
82.69POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:381
    That's me. Always digging up the past.
82.70MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:391
    I want my mummy.
82.71POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:414
    Oh sure, shroud it all in mystery.


    Your Turin.
82.72CONSLT::MCBRIDEaspiring peasantTue Dec 13 1994 17:421
    You guys are so cryptic with your subtleties.  
82.73MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:451
    I fell in the cesspool once and was interred.
82.74POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:501
    It's better to keep things burried like that.
82.75JULIET::MORALES_NASweet Spirit&#039;s Gentle BreezeTue Dec 13 1994 17:501
    All this because I snarfed .58??? :-) :-) :-)
82.76JULIET::MORALES_NASweet Spirit&#039;s Gentle BreezeTue Dec 13 1994 17:503
    .74
    
    buRied.. :-)
82.77POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:511
    No, we're just a bunch of rotters.
82.78POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 17:531
    Nancy, that was quite an undertaking.
82.79JULIET::MORALES_NASweet Spirit&#039;s Gentle BreezeTue Dec 13 1994 17:563
    .78
    
    I dig your pardon!  You embalm yourself!
82.80MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 17:561
    Hearse was an excellent post mortem!
82.81JULIET::MORALES_NASweet Spirit&#039;s Gentle BreezeTue Dec 13 1994 17:571
    Why am I not surprised that Markey does this well... hmmm :-)
82.82HA!!!!! TWO in one TOPIC!JULIET::MORALES_NASweet Spirit&#039;s Gentle BreezeTue Dec 13 1994 17:591
    SNARF
82.83POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 18:001
    He's a dead giveaway.
82.84MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 18:023
    >Why am I not surprised that Markey does this well... hmmm :-)
    
    I'm mortified!
82.85POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 18:051
    Perhaps you can pass on this talent.
82.86CONSLT::MCBRIDEaspiring peasantTue Dec 13 1994 18:053
    You guys must be slab happy.  
    
    
82.87MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesTue Dec 13 1994 18:131
    You do carrion so.
82.88POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Tue Dec 13 1994 18:171
    He's just caught in the wake of this conversation.
82.89SCAPAS::GUINEO::MOOREI&#039;ll have the rat-on-a-stickTue Dec 13 1994 18:253
    
    Didn't you know ? Necrophilia is dead.
    
82.90CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanTue Dec 13 1994 21:575


 
I'd join in but I can't stop coffin
82.91BIGQ::SILVANobody wants a Charlie in the Box!Wed Dec 14 1994 09:154


	yer all casket cases!
82.92POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of PerditionWed Dec 14 1994 09:203
    Back to the subject 8^)
    
    Richard Gephardt.  Ick.
82.93RDGE44::ALEUC8Wed Dec 14 1994 09:242
    gabriella sabatini
    arantcha sanchez-vicario
82.94BIGQ::SILVANobody wants a Charlie in the Box!Wed Dec 14 1994 09:274

	Deb, looks like you're still on the death topic.... that guy looks like
death warmed over.....
82.95CONSLT::MCBRIDEaspiring peasantWed Dec 14 1994 10:208
    Speaking of death warmed over....Sec State W. Christopher was on the
    McNeil-Lehrer report last night and both the looked quite plastic. 
    Neither looked real, human etc.  W. Christopher is also the blinkingest
    (I just made that up) person I have ever had the pleasure to see live or 
    otherwise.  As for the topic, neither are desirable in my book even if
    the gender is wrong :-).
    
    Brian
82.96POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Wed Dec 14 1994 10:2511
    |arantcha sanchez-vicario

    Yes, I agree wholeheartedly, I completely concur.

    |gabriella sabatini

    What?!? Are you nuts?!? I saw her on Letterman a couple of weeks ago.
    What a babe! And can she play tennis! Perhaps she's not your cup of
    tea, but to put her in the least boinkable category is nonsensical.

    Glenn
82.97Gotta have the right genderBIGQ::SILVANobody wants a Charlie in the Box!Wed Dec 14 1994 10:359
| <<< Note 82.95 by CONSLT::MCBRIDE "aspiring peasant" >>>


| As for the topic, neither are desirable in my book even if the gender is 
| wrong :-).


	Brian, I agree with you! :-)

82.98POLAR::RICHARDSONG��� �t�R �r�z�Wed Dec 14 1994 10:493
    Me too.
    
    Deirdre
82.99RDGE44::ALEUC8Wed Dec 14 1994 11:0110
    .96
    
    goes to show - boinkability is in the eye of the boinker
    
    she always reminds me of diego maradona
                                
    perhaps it is a tad unfair to put her in this category
    
    she's still low on my list and i'm sticking to it (so to speak) or
    are we into consensus boinkability here ?
82.100CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumWed Dec 14 1994 11:041
    a boinkable snarf?
82.101USAT05::BENSONMon Dec 19 1994 08:555
    
    way back re: gabor sisters.  eva was gorgeous as a young woman...she's
    still attractive.  
    
    jeff
82.102Consider them in their primeTNPUBS::JONGSteveMon Dec 19 1994 09:409
   Jeff, I applaud your courage to buck the trend and enter that reply.
   Lillian Gish wasn't boinkable in her old age, but did you ever see her
   as a young actress?  Boink City!
   
   I saw an old Bridget Bardot movie the other day.  My God, what a star
   she was!
   
   More contemporary is Debbe Dunning, the new "Tool Time" girl, who was on
   "Circus of the Stars."  She will more than suffice, thank you.
82.103SMURF::BINDERvitam gustareMon Dec 19 1994 10:411
    brigitte.
82.104Ah, yesTNPUBS::JONGSteveMon Dec 19 1994 11:121
   Merci.
82.105SWAM2::SMITH_MAWed Feb 01 1995 16:2626
    Hands down, can't be topped, the absolutley most unboinkable person
    *ever* to walk the face of the earth is.....
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Newt Gingrich!   Excuse me while I wretch.....
    
    MJ
82.106POLAR::RICHARDSONhapless-random-thought-patternsWed Feb 01 1995 16:331
    You can't see yourself doing it Newty style?
82.107NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Feb 02 1995 08:581
Newt may be a wretch, but the verb is retch.
82.108POBOX::BATTISContract StudmuffinThu Feb 09 1995 15:465
    
    Clara Peller of "Wendy's" commercials, and yes I realize that she is
    quite dead. TYVM
    
    Mark
82.109WDFFS2::SHOOKthe river is mineThu Feb 09 1995 23:393
    
    <--- perhaps its just that her favorite question would make you
         uncomfortable?  8^)
82.110I'm fine now, really 8^)POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of Orgastic BlissFri Feb 10 1995 09:038
    
    <--- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH{gasp}HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    
    {cough}, {cough}, {cough}
    
    {ahem}
    
    
82.111POBOX::BATTISContract StudmuffinFri Feb 10 1995 10:094
    
    Mr. Shook, that was a good one. :-)
    
    Mark
82.112WAHOO::LEVESQUEluxure et suppliceFri Mar 03 1995 12:114
     Anybody know Roseanne's new last name?
    
     Somebody asked me the question, and all I could come up with was
    "Holstein."
82.113POBOX::BATTISContract StudmuffinFri Mar 03 1995 12:302
    
    Doctah, I believe it is Thomas
82.114KDCA01::CDCUP_GREENEThu Aug 31 1995 15:161
    Bea Arthur is butt ugly
82.115BIGQ::SILVADiabloThu Aug 31 1995 16:356
<---- but that voice.... is sooooooo




deep
82.116NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Aug 31 1995 16:381
I understand Bea Arthur is going to star in "The Bella Abzug Story."
82.117SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIBeen complimented by a toady lately?Thu Aug 31 1995 16:414
    
    She'll have to put on a few pounds, but it's a pretty good match-up re:
    butt-ugly...
    
82.119PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BFri Sep 01 1995 11:263
 .118  it would appear that's not what _she_ thinks.

82.121POWDML::HANGGELIPetite Chambre des MauditesFri Sep 01 1995 11:436
    
    I dunno, I thought she was nice looking in the few clips I've seen 
    of her.
    
    What, Di, did she say that she thought herself to be a babe?
    
82.122PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BFri Sep 01 1995 11:443
  if i were a guy, she'd be on my "least boinkable" list too.
  well, come to think of it, she is anyways.
82.123GAVEL::JANDROWGreen-Eyed Lady...Fri Sep 01 1995 11:465
    
    
    name sounds familiar, but who is she???
    
    
82.124PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BFri Sep 01 1995 11:538
    
>>    What, Di, did she say that she thought herself to be a babe?

    she just acted like it - maybe i'm wrong, i don't know.
    i can't stand that aren't-i-sexy'? attitude though.  it 
    makes someone automatically unboinkable to moi.
    

82.125DECLNE::REESEToreDown,I&#039;mAlmostLevelW/theGroundFri Sep 01 1995 15:333
    McKinny = screenwriter wannebe in OJ case.
    
    
82.126Moving MolesCLARID::LEBIDOISThu Sep 28 1995 08:572
    Mr Burns (Homer's boss)
    
82.127Talk HardSNOFS1::DAVISMHappy Harry Hard OnThu Sep 28 1995 23:511
    Burns ehhh?
82.128Drew CarreyTROOA::BUTKOVICHg&#039;day mate, ehWed Feb 28 1996 02:132
    I lied.... I couldn't go to bed before entering another name to this
    topic...
82.129BIGQ::SILVABenevolent &#039;pedagogues&#039; of humanityWed Feb 28 1996 09:213

	Agreed....we seem to think alike.... :-)
82.130TROOA::BUTKOVICHg&#039;day mate, ehWed Feb 28 1996 10:121
    should I be troubled??  B-)
82.131BUSY::SLABOUNTYDon&#039;t like my p_n? 1-800-328-7448Wed Feb 28 1996 12:354
    
    	You should only be troubled if you'd boink a guy that Glen
    	wouldn't.
    
82.132BIGQ::SILVABenevolent &#039;pedagogues&#039; of humanityWed Feb 28 1996 12:491
:-)