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Conference turris::womannotes-v2

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 2 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V2 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1105
Total number of notes:36379

337.0. "Anguished English" by RANCHO::HOLT (Robert Holt UCS4,415-691-4750) Mon Dec 12 1988 16:57

    
    Found in my mailbox.....
    
    
    From fhsu Mon Dec 12 11:25:00 1988
    Message-Id: <[email protected]>
To: swart, borg, [email protected]
Cc: wse
Subject: International marketing explained in plain English
Status: R

[ .. forwardings removed .. ]


    Here are some signs resulting from bad knowledge of English
      (Taken from "Anguished English" by Rechard Lederer.  Used
 	without permission):
    
    In a Tokyo Hotel:  Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.  If
    you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
    
    In another Japanese hotel room:  Please to bathe inside the tub.
    
    In a Bucharest hotel lobby:  The lift is being fixed for the next
    day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
    
    In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only
    when lit up.
    
    In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
    wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
    should press a number of wishing floor.  Driving is then going
    alphabetically by national order.
    
    In a Paris hotel elevator:  Please leave your values at the front
    desk.
    
    In a hotel in Athens:  Visitors are expected to complain at the
    office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
    
    In a Yogoslavian hotel:  The flattening of underwear with pleasure
    is the job of the chambermaid.
    
    In a Japanese hotel:  You are invited to take advantage of the
    chambermaid.
    
    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
    monastary:  You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
    and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
    Thursday.
    
    In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
    corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
    
    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:  Our wines leave you nothing
    to hope for.
    
    On the menu of a Polish hotel:  Salad a firm's own make; limpid
    red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted
    duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
    
    In a Hong Kong supermarket:  For your convenience, we recommend
    courteous, efficient self-service.
    
    Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:  Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
    
    In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:  Drop your trousers here for best results.
    
    Outside a Paris dress shop:  Dresses for street walking.
    
    In a Rhodes tailor shop:  Order your summers suit.  Because is big
    rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
    
    Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:  There will be a Moscow Exhibition
    of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.  These
    were executed over the past two years.
    
    In an East African newspaper:  A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
    shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
    
    In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
    porter.
    
    A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:  It is strictly forbidden
    on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
    instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
    married with each other for that purpose.
    
    In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
    of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby
    be used for this purpose.                          
    
    In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:  Teeth extrcted by the
    latest Methodists.
    
    A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:  A lot of water
    has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
    
    In a Rome laundry:  Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
    afternoon having a good time.
    
    In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:  Take one of our horse-driven
    city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
    
    Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:  Would you like to ride
    on your own ass?
   $
    On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:  To stop the drip, turn cock
    to right.
    
    In the window of a Swedish furrier:  Fur coats made for ladies from
    their own skin.
    
    On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:  Guaranteed to
    work throughout its useful life.
    
    Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
    
    In a Swiss mountain inn:  Special today -- no ice cream.
    
    In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
    if dressed as a man.
    
    In a Tokyo bar:  Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
    
    In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:  We take your bags and send
    them in all directions.
    
    On the door of a Moscow hotel room:  If this is your first visit
    to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
    
    In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:  Ladies are requested not to have
    children in the bar.
    
    At a Budapest zoo:  Please do not feed the animals.  If you have
    any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
    
    In the office of a Roman doctor:  Specialist in women and other
    diseases.
    
    In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the
    water served here.
    
    In a Tokyo shop:  Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
    they are best in the long run.
    
    From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
    conditioner:  Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm
    in your room, please control yourself.
    
    From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:  When passenger of
    foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at
    first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with
    vigor.
    
    Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    	- English well talking.
    	- Here speeching American.
    
       


T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
337.1CALLME::MR_TOPAZTue Dec 13 1988 08:0610
       
       English-speaking travelers often have to deal with strange
       translations, such as those posted in .0.
       
       On the other hand, the nearly total absence of the knowledge or
       use of foreign languages throughout the U.S. makes it impossible
       for non-English speaking people to visit the U.S. unless
       accompanied by an English speaker.  (And that's a shame.) 
       
       --Mr Topaz 
337.2AMUN::CRITZTue Dec 13 1988 09:1111
    	On the 4th of December, there was some kind of book sale
    	in Manchester, NH. Lederer's book was on sale (according
    	to the _Nashua Telegraph_). Well, I remembered the book
    	sale about 30 minutes before it was over, and because I
    	live in Nashua and would never have found the place in
    	time, I didn't get to buy the book.
    
    	Does anyone have some idea where (or how) I could obtain
    	this book?
    
    	Scott
337.3MILVAX::BOYAJIANMillrat in trainingWed Dec 14 1988 01:3813
    Actually, the line from the Japanese hotel room, "Please to bathe
    inside the tub" is a cultural difference, not a gaffe in translation
    or something on that order. In public baths in Japan, the bather
    washes him- or herself will squatting on the deck beside the tub
    (which is more like our hottubs than our bathtubs). They don't
    actually get into the tub until they're done washing and they sit
    in the water to relax.
    
    I don't know if home bathing is the same as public bathing or the
    same as American home bathing, but is quite likely that a certain
    number of accidents prompted that notice.
    
    --- jerry
337.4Did you catch Jay Leno?GLASS::HAIGHTThu Dec 15 1988 16:0916
    If you had the pleasure of catching Jay Leno on the Tonight Show
    the week of 11/28, you may have heard his recitations from the
    "Anguished Language".
    
    Yes, it is somewhat eye-opening to see our language misuse as so
    prevalent in other countries, but you should have heard the misuse
    from our own natives!
    
    He was reading some actual letters (the genuine articles were sent
    to him just for the show and to prove their authenticity) from
    mothers/fathers excusing their children from a day of school.
    
    The misuse of words was comical; however, he did point out the
    poignancy in his jocularity: "Is our educational system at fault?",
    he questioned.
                  
337.5Uh-oh...don't get her started....VINO::EVANSThe Few. The Proud. The Fourteens.Fri Dec 16 1988 09:5115
    RE: .4 (Boy, are you gonna be sorry you asked) :-)
    
    Is our educational system at fault? Yes and no. The lack of
    parental support for teachers and education is at fault. The lack
    of any gonads on the part of administrators is at fault. The idea
    that children have been given....that school is "entertainment"
    and that to announce "I'm bored" is a signal for any and all adults
    in the vicinity to somehow try to make school into MTV.
    
    I could go on. I will spare you. (and my blood pressure)
    
    Now back to our regularly scheduled topic. 
    
    --DE
    
337.6my viewWFOOFF::GONCALVESMon Dec 19 1988 18:2110
    I started reading this note and was quite amused.  
    
    I figure it this way, hey at least they are trying to speak
    our language.  What about us?  How good are WE at speaking
    theirs?
    
    Before we throw stones at others, we better take a look at
    ourselves first.
    
    
337.7AQUA::WAGMANQQSVMon Dec 19 1988 19:0023
Re:  .6 by WFOOFF::GONCALVES

>    Before we throw stones at others, we better take a look at
>    ourselves first.

Amen, Shelly.  Many foreigners have been forced to learn English, in part
because of the economic dominance of the US.  Since we have been economically
self sufficient for a long time we have been able to get away with avoiding
communicating with others in their language.  Now that the economic situation
is changing (and we are forced to export more), it is more and more necessary
for us to communicate in other languages.  And we are way behind others in
that department.

When I was in sixth grade I lived in Belgium for a year.  I had to learn
French, and my mistakes were made in full public view of a class full of
Belgian sixth graders.  It was a very humbling experience at times.  I can
never read what others do to English without remembering my own experiences
with French.  While I did find the mistakes amusing, I have some very real
empathy for those who wrote them.  We might all do well to keep that in mind.
Some day many of us may be in a foreign country, and not too expert in their
language.

					--Q (Dick Wagman)
337.8RAINBO::TARBETTue Dec 20 1988 09:3412
    Amen twice.  The constructions are indeed funny in and of themselves,
    but the humor starts to get a little wry for those of us who've had to
    struggle with an unfamiliar language in the midst of native speakers.
    Gives ya a whole new perspective, I guarantee it.  
    
    I occasionally read of some socio-linguistic gun we shoot ourselves in
    the foot with in latin- or germanic-speaking countries and shudder at
    the thought of what we must be doing in the languages of the Pacific
    Rim.  It's a wonder we don't hear the gales of laughter all the way to
    Maynard! 
    
    						=maggie
337.9ULTRA::WITTENBERGSecure Systems for Insecure PeopleTue Dec 20 1988 10:122
    Are you  thinking  of the Chevy Nova? (No Va means "doesn't go" in
    Spanish.)
337.10RAINBO::TARBETTue Dec 20 1988 10:141
    Yeah, that's one of them, David.
337.11the mind bogglesCIVIC::JOHNSTONa pole in my right half-plane? pfthhhh!Wed Dec 21 1988 12:1312
    my favorite fractured translation is Frank Perdue's slogan:
    
      'It takes a tough guy to make a tender chicken'
    
    It was translated into Spanish such that the meaning was distorted
    somewhat...
    
      'It takes a sexually excited man to make a chicken affectionate'
    
    
	Ann      
    
337.12monolingual +culturalFDCV16::DONOVANTue Dec 27 1988 11:177
     We monolingual and monocultural Americans are sure to change if
    the United States stays on it's current trend in the marketplace.
    In a few years we'll all be speaking Japanese and German.
    
    ( I am half-kidding) May I be exempt from flames, PLEASE!
    
    Kate
337.13:-)ERLANG::LEVESQUEI fish, therefore I am...Tue Dec 27 1988 11:361
    re -1 NO!
337.14TUT::SMITHIs Fifty Fun?Tue Dec 27 1988 13:081
    But first, Spanish!
337.15More...CGOS01::OHASIBEDERIncurable DECie/TREKkieTue Jan 03 1989 18:054
    Can't remember where I first saw this, but...
    
    "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" when translated by computer into Russian
    becomes "Invisible Maniac" :-)
337.16SLSTRN::DONAHUEFri Jan 06 1989 13:459
    Hi.  In response to your last note, someone told me that ...
    
    "Out of Sight, Out of Mind"
    
    translates in German to be ...  "Blind and Insane".
    
    :^)
    
    Susan
337.17... hoping the original phrase is obvious (yes, it's clean) ...STAR::BECKPaul Beck | DECnet-VAXFri Jan 06 1989 16:206
    Similarly, a well-known phrase translated from English to Russian
    and back again supposedly came out
    
    	"The ghost is ready but the meat is raw."
    
    
337.18QUARK::LIONELOne VoiceSat Jan 07 1989 15:1712
    There are a lot of jokes like this about supposed literal translations
    of colloquial sayings.  The one about "Out of sight, out of mind"
    is one of the more popular ("Invisible Insanity" is the version I've
    seen most.)  Sometimes it's told as coming from a new translating
    computer.
    
    Like the legends about Chevy Nova meaning "Won't Go" in Spanish,
    and "Coke adds life" translated as "Coke brings your ancestors back
    from the grave", I think that there isn't much reality to these
    stories.
    
    					Steve
337.19RANCHO::HOLTRobert Holt UCS4,415-691-4750Sat Jan 07 1989 21:494
    
    re -.1
    
    believe it or not, those two instances happen to be true.
337.20QUARK::LIONELOne VoiceSat Jan 07 1989 22:506
    Re: .19
    
    I used to think so too, but I've seen both stories neatly debunked
    by people fluent in the relevant languages.
    
    				Steve
337.22 :-) NEXUS::CONLONSun Jan 08 1989 04:1710
    	RE:  .21
    
    	> the ghost is ready but the meat is raw?
    	>> ... hoping the original phrase is obvious (yes, it's clean)...
    	> It's not obvious to me.
    
    	Ever heard of a phrase along the lines of "The spirit indeed
    	is willing but the flesh is weak"?  [See New Testament, Matthew,
    	XXVI, 41]
    
337.24EVER11::KRUPINSKIThank you for using VAXnotesMon Jan 09 1989 13:279
re .20

	Could it be that the problem was that the phrases were translated
	by someone who wasn't quite as fluent in the target language as they
	should have been? And that they made a bad translation with the
	results shown? A person more fluent in the target language (and
	culture) would have made a more appropriate translation.

						Tom_K
337.25ASABET::BOYAJIANMillrat in trainingTue Jan 10 1989 06:408
    re:.20
    
    I don't know who you asked, Steve, but "[no] va" *is* the third
    person singular (as well as the formal second person singular)
    for "[doesn't] go", unless my memory of Spanish has completely
    gone to the dogs.
    
    --- jerry
337.27its been too long...NSSG::ALFORDanother fine mess....Wed Jan 11 1989 14:357
    to further rathole...
    
    re (-.1) 
    I think it is NO VA as was mentioned a few notes back.
    After all its "no se" for I don't know.
    and "no hablo ingles" for I don't speak English...etc
    
337.29� Luis ?RAINBO::TARBETWed Jan 11 1989 14:531
    
337.30Basta yaCOGMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Wed Jan 11 1989 16:106
    Re: .26 - .28
    
    It's been less than 12 years since I've studied Spanish.  "No va"
    does, in fact, mean "doesn't go."  If anyone has any burning doubts
    about this burning issue, I will mail them photocopies of the
    appropriate pages of my Spanish textbooks.
337.31My kingdom for a box of soap, arrgh!RANCHO::HOLTRobert Holt UCS4,415-691-4750Wed Jan 11 1989 20:012
    
    
337.32indeed, br'er Bob, everything else seems second rate...HARRY::HIGGINSCitizen of AtlantisWed Jan 11 1989 20:221
    
337.33Fractured English works both waysSCRUFF::CONLIFFEBetter living through softwareThu Jan 12 1989 13:0212
Many many years ago, I was working in Germany at an automated meat processing
plant.  There were a bunch of LSI-11 systems scattered around the plant floor
running some local proces control stuff and communicating with the main 11/70.

Some benevolent soul had translated the operating instructions from English
into German.   The german text caused a lot of confusion by referring to the
HALT/ENABLE switch on the LSI as the "HALT in nebel" switch.  "HALT in nebel"
loosely translates as "stop in fog!"


				Nigel

337.34Nova = NuevoQUARK::LIONELOne VoiceThu Jan 12 1989 20:2439
    Regarding "Nova" and "no va"...
    
    I never claimed that "no va" didn't mean "does not go" in Spanish.
    I said that the story about the Chevy Nova not selling in Mexico
    because of its name was bunk.  Here's my source; there's discussion
    of other naming myths (and supposed real blunders) in other replies.
    
    				Steve
    
    
    
              <<< ASIMOV::DUA1:[NOTES$LIBRARY]MARKETING.NOTE;1 >>>
                   -< Marketing - Digital Internal Use Only >-
================================================================================
Note 501.26                     what's in a name                        26 of 40
DARTS::DIAZ "Changed pants, I had a hole-in-1"       21 lines  19-AUG-1988 14:12
                               -< NOVA = NUEVO >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    re .25
    
    Every  time I read about the Chevy Nova supposed "naming  blunder", I
    want to set things  straight.   So here is my chance, at least as the
    mexican  market  is  concerned,  which   I  consider  to  have  great
    similarities to most other latinamerican automotive markets.
    
    The mexican auto market is not a free, open market.   The  government
    has limited the number of companies that sell in  Mexico  to  just  a
    few:  GM, Ford, Chrysler, Nissan, VW, and Renault.   And each company
    only sells a two or three different models.
    
    Of those Nissan, VW and Renault  only  sell compacts and sybcompacts,
    so GM, Ford and Chrysler, have the midsize market for themselves.
    
    So to make this note short, the  Nova  sold  well  in Mexico since it
    didn't have  too  much competition and its name was rarely refered to
    as "no va"  (different  accent  than  Nova).  Nova has in spanish the
    same connotation as in english, that of something new.
    
    OD/
337.35ASABET::BOYAJIANMillrat in trainingFri Jan 13 1989 03:5110
    re:.34
    
    I think the confusion (at least on my part) was your reference
    to "people fluent in the relative languages". If it's the
    marketing (or non-) point of the story is what's bunk, then
    fluency or non-fluency in the languages is irrelevant. The
    only way in which they *would* be relevant is if the "bunk" was
    due to a mistake in translation.
    
    --- jerry