Conference unifix::sailing

    It is a scientifically proven and well-documented fact that banana
    boat owners/drivers suffer from a severe psychosis having something
    to do with their feelings of inadequacy in regard to their sexual
    accoutrements and performance/prowess.  Hence the marked antitheti-
    cal resemblance of their craft to their true physical characteris-
    tics.  It is suggested that their only real gratification is the
    illusion of power which is created by excessive and irrational speed
    combined with the helpless bobbing of a sail boat, aka the Viking-
    over-the-Vanquished Motif, which is a common delusion of persons
    of this sort.
    
    Perhaps D.E.M., in addition to fines, should consider surgery, or
    at least a large dose of saltpeter in the gas tank!
                                                                  
    (Sorry, lost my head)
    

    re:.1
    
    No need to be sorry, I think you hit it right on the head. 
    
    Of course, the just-turn-the-key crowd calls sailors "elitist
    
    snobs". And so it goes....
    
    
    Jeff
    

    RE .1
    
      Hmmmm, interesting. the leader of the worlds most powerful nation
    owns one of those boats.
         
    

    RE .3
    
    Are you referring to The Prime Minister or Hirohito's son?

    Before getting carried away on .1, meant to relay the story of an
    elderly gentleman from Woods Hole Mass area, who retired to spend
    his last years sailing peacefully in a small cruiser in and about
    the Elizabeth Islands.  Of an afternoon, with no power, he would
    sail back and for the through the Hole by himself, and one day made
    the mistake of personally hailing a jackass in a cigarette (redun-
    dant?) to give him what for for proximity, wake, speed, etc.  He
    also reported incident to Coast Guard and Harbormaster.
    
    To make a long story short, the old geezer was soon attacked nearly
    every afternoon when out of sight of the Harbor and , of course,
    the authorities are really at a loss to do anything meaningful to
    someone with that much malice and so few brains.
    
    After much aggravation, intimidation, equipment abuse etc. from
    the constant flogging, the old gentleman got hold of a length of
    large diameter plow steel cable and a few lengths of scrap 2x4's,
    and built a 20 foot contraption that would tow diagonally astern
    on a long leader and just below the surface.  
    
    Word from the locals is that the results were spectacular, and 
    
    THE IDIOT WAS UNINSURED.

A friend of mine did a similar trick to -.1. He liked to fish off a pier behind
his house, and was ferequently passed by high speed boats. He set out a piece
of monel stell wire on two floats, alongside his fishing line. The speed boat
picked up the line, the two floats swung behind the boat and the wire wrapped
around the propshaft and actually cut thru the bronze shaft. I often wondered if
you could tow a similar rig.

    You guys really seem to have a lot of trouble with power-craft.
     Personally, The only time I've ever been troubled is by the odd
    "foreign" person (flying black/yellow/red or green/white/orange
    national flags) when in the Adriatic - large wash after 20 Mile
    full power with 200HP thing on back of planing machine for example.
    
    It does bring an incident to mind however that I found amusing,
    and fortunately no-one was hurt :
    
    A rather large and expensive power craft set out from Ireland headed
    for Scotland up the Clyde on a late-evening/overnight run.  Apparently
    this wondrous machine had "autopilot" so the "crew" were able to
    sit down below playing cards and drinking while the boat took care
    of itself (are you ahead of me? Thought so!).  Well, about 2 am
    the boat was closing on Troon where there is a wonderful small
    island, no more than 50 yards by 100 yards at high tide and the
    boat ran stright up onto it at full power.  The crew were rescued
    the following morning, quite safe.  The boat was left to rot for
    a few months before it was removed, presumably after a long insurance
    hassle.  It was a handy landmark alongside the lighthouse!
    
    Brian

    Although I detest generalizations it seems to me that there are
    two that relate to this topic and they might hold  a solution for the 
    perennial wind vs. power debate.
    
    Here are the generalizations:
    
    	Power advocates are in boating because they have (along with
    	a love of boating) a strong love of internal combustion engines.
    
    	Sail advocates are in boating because they have (along with
    	a love of boating) a strong need to commune with nature.
    
    Now within each camp we have extremists.  Sailors have the diehards
    that would beat up river on a foul tide, never making progress until
    the tide slacks.   Power boaters have their bananna boats that are
    simply engines mounted on gas tanks.  It occurs to me that each
    side has a strength that compliments (generally at least) the other
    sides weakness.
    
    Is there an opportunity here to get the two sides together in some
    kind of informal program that spreads these complimentary skills
    around?   I think most sailors would gain from the association with
    people who really know engines and I think power boaters could learn
    a lot about the element they play in from the sailors who  power
    their boats with the wind.

    I have a love of both engines and sail. I believe it a requirement
    that every sailor also have an excellant and thorough understanding
    of the mechanical and electrical components of his boat. When you
    set off from your mooring, I expect you, as a sailor, to understand
    if not love these components. You have a responsibility to me and
    to any crew to run a safe operation. That includes not getting your
    craft in a dangerous situation that involves dragging others into
    your self created muddle. 
    don

    Re .9&.10 
    
    There are places...organizations where the learning and sharing
    moves freely across the sail/power line. One such place is the 
    Coast Guard Auxiliary! I am a power boater who belongs to a 
    Flotilla which is mostly sail boaters. Now I do take (and give)
    some ribbing from time to time, but because we a jointed together
    for the promotion of boating safety and socializing, it is never
    serious. Indeed we generally feel that education tends to remove
    discord and some of the distinctions between power and sail.
    
    They (sail) even invite me along now and again......Maybe they're
    just trying to convert me!
    
    Jerry
     

re .8:

Hmmmm, maybe, but maybe not. Perhaps powerboaters are simply in a hurry
to get from here to there (a generalization) or maybe powerboaters
simply don't want to take the time to learn the more numerous and
difficult to acquire skills required to be a sailor (a generalization).
Many powerboaters and sailors seem to be in considerable ignorance of
the design, operation, and maintenance of infernal (not a misspelling)
combustion engines (another generalization). If powerboats were as quiet
as sailboats and if powerboats wakes were as small as sailboat wakes,
oceans, lakes, etc would be nicer places (a personal opinion). 

It just ain't simple.

    Any of you guys ridden in one of those things?  Thy are a blast!
     Totally irresponsible, but lots of fun.  There are just as many
    ignorant sailors out there as power boaters, but we tend to not
    move as fast or make as much noise.  Therefore not as noticed. 
    Will we ever live together in peace?  Sure.  When Alan sings the
    praises of PHRF, Bob Bailey gives up his hat, and I buy a Hunter.
    BTW, what's the difference between a banana boat and a porcupine?
    The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
    
    Dave

    But Dave ... I HAVE given up my hat.  Or should I say, I've found
    a suitable replacement.  After two hard seasons on the ocean it
    needed new batteries anyway.  :^)
    
    But I'm not expecting Alan to "sing the praises of the PHRF".  I
    mean, he occasionally even makes a valid point about us racing types.
    And Dave, seeing you at the tiller of a Hunter would be worth the
    price of admission, but I doubt you'd be able to hang on to your
    present crew.
    
    As to a place where powerboaters and sailors can get together in
    friendly discourse, doesn't this happen at most yacht clubs??  I
    know it does at Jubilee.  There's a nice mix of powerboaters and
    sailors there, and we often find ourselves in congenial discussions
    with each other.  Surprisingly, most of the power boaters at the
    JYC don't like banana boats either.  As one of the power types told
    me last season when a banana boat went screaming past the dock at
    about 40 MPH (in a no wake zone) "Damn fools give us all a black
    eye."
    
    And there ARE many ignorant sailors out there too.  Don't think
    just because somebody steps on a sailboat they know what they're
    doing.  It just ain't so.  Last season down in Hadley's Harbor I
    saw an old duffer and his wife do one of the stupidest things I've
    ever witnessed in a harbor.
    
    It seems the old guy wanted to move, so he pulls his anchor up just
    enough to clear the bottom with it, and then takes off across the
    harbor, trailing it behind him.  Needless to say, by the time he
    got to where he was going he was trailing about four other boats
    behind him, having tangled his anchor line with theirs (incidentally,
    this guy's boat was at least a 40 footer).  All the while he's calmly
    ignoring all the screaming from the other boaters, both those he
    was "towing" and those onlookers who were just trying to get his
    attention.  The result was that two of the boats he disturbed clunked
    into each other broadsides.  Now, no serious damage occurred.  But
    you gotta admit this is more serious than putting up with a big
    wake or a lot of noise.
    
    Now, if you were a powerboater witnessing this incident, what would
    YOU infer from it concerning sailors?
    
    So folks, it all boils down to three choices:
    
    	1.  learn to live together
    	2.  segregate
    	3.  keep bitchin' and put up with it
    
    Lemme see, sailors get the Atlantic, powerboaters get the Pacific.
    Banana boaters get the Hudson River.  Whattya think of that plan?
    
    ... Bob
    

    What is a banana boat? Is this a phenomana we will see our side
    of the pond?
          ^ 
    Pete/ |\
       /  | \
      ----|  \
   \ -------------/			           
    
    

    re .8
    
    Having ridden in power boats, I am only more firmly committed to
    sail.  One person's meat is another person's poison.
    
    They may be a blast, but I prefer not to be blasted.  Conversation
    is impossibe, the ears ring for 2 hours after a trip and the pounding
    from wave to wave effects my kidneys like 3 rounds with Mike Tyson.
    
    re .9
    
    At Salem Willows the power boaters and sailors get along very well.
     They seem to think the folks giving power a bad name are people
    who trailer in for the day.  No serious boater would scream down the 
    channel at 30 knots, throw beer cans at people in row boats, or
    enjoy running down a sail boat.  Sailors can always count on power
    boat folks for help in an emergency (like the terrible winds and
    seas that swept through Salem last summer) and Power boaters can
    count on sailors for a crew slot in club races (so they can see what
    they are missing :-)). 

    Ron

    RE .15
    
    A "banana boat" is another slang term for a "cigarette boat" which
    is another slang term for a "muscle boat" which is another slang
    term for a "huge engine connected to a gas tank", which is another
    term for ...
    
    Ain't our "common" language a wonderful thing?  I mean, if you are
    at a loss for a suitable term, just make one up.  Who knows, it
    may catch on.
    
    You probably already have this phenomena on your side or the pond.
    Do you guys ever get to watch "Miami Vice" (the TV show that
    popularized these damnable machines)?  Ever see a blur go past your
    boat at about 65-70 knots, accompanied by a noise that can be heard
    at a distance of about 5-10 miles and a tsunami-like wake?  If so
    then you already have experienced the "banana boat" phenomena.
    
    ... Bob
    

    Aaaah yes they are slowly becomming popular ,luckily in my harbour
    Chichester we have a harbour master who is enforcing the 6knt limit
    but out in the Solent it is a different story hence in my case one
    dislocated shoulder last season......
    
    Pete

    RE .16
    
    Ron, you're so right about the Salem Willows power boaters too.
    I credit these folks with getting me and another sailor out of a
    BIG jam a few years back.
    
    It happened like this.  My friend Rafe and I were out on his Hobie,
    screaming around in about 30 knots of breeze when we noticed a fellow
    Hobie sailor (who was stupidly out soloing in that breeze) pitch-pole
    and capsize violently.  We sailed over to where he was and I jumped
    off and swam over to the other boat.  Now Rafe was solo, and couldn't
    do much in that breeze except stay on his current heading, which
    pointed him right at Salem Willows.  Now, me and this other guy made
    several attempts at righting his boat.  The result each time was
    that, due to the wind and waves, the boat would come up and promptly
    slam down in the other direction.  Unfortunately I was having to
    teach this guy what to do while under these conditions, because
    it turned out he was a novice Hobie type.  Well, with the conditions
    being what they were, and the cold water, we were getting pretty
    exhausted after about 20-25 minutes of this, and it got to the point
    where we were just too tired to try it again.  So all we could do
    was hang on and let the tide take us out.
    
    Well, in the meantime some power boaters over at the Willows were
    watching the whole affair, and eight of them came out in one guy's
    boat and rescued us and the Hobie.  To do this required that three
    of them had to jump into the water and right the boat (which they
    did successfully) while the others helped me and this other guy
    out of the water.  By then I was so tired I couldn't even help myself
    onto their boat.  They then dropped the sail on the Hobie and towed
    us back to Jubilee beach, which is where the boat was launched from.
    
    What's significant here is that these guys, powerboaters though
    they were, knew enough to get the boat righted and drop the sail.
    Which is more than I could say for the boat's owner.  They didn't
    say too much about it other than to tell us both we shouldn't be
    out in that kind of weather without being experienced enough to
    keep ourselves out of that kind of mess.  Which is also correct.
    
    I think about this incident sometimes when I get P.O.ed at some
    idiot powerboater and have the urge to make generalizations.
    
    ... Bob
    

    Being a mechanical engineer, I enjoy high powered engines and boats
as much as anyone. They can rip up the ocean, burn tons of fuel, and
bounce bikinis like nothing else.

What bothers me is the tendency of the owners to race around in crowded
areas. Maybe they want an audience to impress. One of the worst areas on
Narr. Bay is between Castle Hill and Conanicut Island. The banana boats
go racing past you out into the ocean - 5 minute later they're coming back. 
After a few cycles you feel like you're being strafed. I guess the the thrill
of the wide open ocean can't compare with a sailboat slalom course. In the
west passage last summer, a banana boat veered 90 degrees and several hundred
yards off course to buzz me. Then he resumed his old course!

Years ago, I used to think that sailors were the good guys and powerboaters
were the bad guys. I got a summer job working the docks at Newport
Yachting Center. The slips were mostly filled with power boats. The owners
were great people and I was impressed by their knowledge and skill. That same
summer the center hosted a race regatta. These sailors were rude, smashed beer
bottles everywhere, and stole everything not bolted down. That was the end of
my predudice against all powerboaters.

-Paul

re .13:

My old English professor would cringe at the irregular meter and tacky
rhyme of the ditty below, but writing good poetry while driving to work
is difficult when one must dodge Massachusetts drivers. Be that as it
may, here I sing the praises of the PHRF. So, Dave, what are you going
to name your new Hunter? 


PHRF! PHRF! PHRF!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
We're so happy, we're so gay,
'cause we're going racing the PHRF way.

We've got the boat, we've got the gear
(including lots and lots of beer).
We've assembled the crew, 
well-trained and true.
We can't wait for the day,
to go racing the PHRF way!

Our bottom is smooth,
and we're in the groove.
Our rating has been fiddled just a tad,
by the handicapper who's an otherwise honest lad.
We're going to win,
and that's no sin. 
It's racing from day to day
the PHRF way!

Come wind, come rain,
forget the pain.
Though the cost be dear
let's give a hearty cheer.
Barge the fleet,
and ease that sheet, 
Oh what a glorious day,
'cause we're racing the PHRF way!

Now the season is all spent,
and our sails are torn and the mast is bent.
We've had a ball and a blast,
though we always finished almost last.
We've many a good story to explain,
but hardly ever do we complain.
We eagerly await the next day
that we can go racing the PHRF way!

(Copyright 1989, by Sea Music, Inc, a wholly owned subsidiary of New 
Morning, Ltd, a diversified investor in marine activities.)

    Re -.1
    
    >  We're so happy, we're so gay,
    
  "It's time to tacky-pooh, Pass the wench handle, you silly savage"

    Alan, I LOVE it!  Forget the irregular meter and tacky rhyme.  You'd
    almost think you were THERE!
    
    Such passion, such realism.  And all while dodging Massachusetts
    drivers.  Ogdon Nash would be proud.
    
    						... Bob
    

    I'll tell you, we have some bananna boat sailors as well.
    There are several maxi-cats that create havoc off Ida Lewis
    right on across Fort Adams and over to Jamestown!! I could
    do with out them in the same degree as I could do without the
    cigarette boats!!!!  One of these days you are going to read about
    an accident in that area where someone overcalculated or
    waited just to long, or, most probable, an equipment malfunction!!
    Don

    Re -.1
    
    There was a bad accident right off Ft. Adams between a cat and a power
    boat last summer. I pretty sure someone on the cat was killed. The
    idea of starting catamaran races inside Newport harbor on a weekend
    is crazy.
                                       
    -Paul

    re .21
    
    INSPIRATIONAL!!!!!!!!
    
    If you perform this before the ratings committee, I guarantee that
    Towards Morning will be awarded a FOUR digit PHRF rating.
    
    - gene

    RE .21
    
    First Bob, now you!  Is nothing sacred?  I, for one will stand firm,
    and resist the incredible temptation to buy a hunter.
    
    A buddy of mine is so fed up with PHRF, he is selling his Soverel
    33 to buy an Etchells (calm down, Gene).  As John Collins is the
    head of the rating committe, he wants to name it FUJIROD (F--- U
    John, I'm Racing One Design).
    
    Dave