Conference unifix::sailing

    Nothing builds confidence more than learning how to control the
    boat, and understanding what forces are acting on it.  A few years
    ago my 16 year old step-daughter was scared to death any time the
    boat (17' O-day centerboarder) heeled a bit.  So I gave her the
    main sheet and said let out the sheet when you think the boat is
    heeling to much.  Her confidence improved minute by minute and soon
    she was having fun.  I guess the point here is to learn in small
    managable steps, whatever you are comfortable with.  I think learning
    to sail with the main alone first is a good idea.  It's one less
    thing to worry about.  The sail slamming against the rigging is
    usually caused by not having the main sheet cleated down.  
    
    Hope this helps.
    
    Bill
    
      

    Also, Coastal will probably give you a refresher course.  How much
    he will charge is another question.
    

    .2   Burt is expensive and I just don't want to go back to him again.
     I did not enjoy his course very much.
    

    I am just getting into sailing too. I am afraid my wife will get
    too nervous about sailing so we are going to take lessens and join
    a club before taking the big plunge into ownership.
    
    I agree with .1 knowing whats happening and why helps.

    What about sailing friends?  Are you a member of a yacht club? 
    If so, perhaps you can find some more experienced sailors to go
    out sailing with you while you build your confidence.  They might
    be able to show you how to use your sails and steer your boat such
    that you don't have to push it too much.  And it is usually a good
    idea to stay close to home till you get a little confidence built.
    Remember, fear usually makes things seem a lot worse than they really
    are.  If the boat heels a little too much, you can usually do something
    to remedy the situation. Like letting the mainsail out to spill
    air, or turning upwind, or reefing the main so that you have less
    sail area to power you along.  And while it's true that sometimes
    the charts don't show all the rocks, it's usually safe if you stay
    well away from islands and areas shown as low water on the charts,
    especially if you're sailing in well populated waters.
    
    I'd recommend few things. First, like I said above, try to find
    some experienced sailors to go out with you a few times.  And also,
    learn more about why things happen the way they do on a sailboat.
    There's a lot of literature out that can be helpful, especially
    if you've already taken a sailing course and just need a refresher.
    And don't push your boat, but trust it a little.  A Pearson 28 isn't
    exactly a dinghy, they're fairly seaworthy as harbor cruisers go.
    So you don't have to feel like it's going to tip over on you, at
    least not any reasonable kind of sailing weather.  The rest is just
    practice.  It's like driving or skiing, the more you do it the more
    confident you feel in the equipment.  After a while the things that
    worry or frighten you now become a source of enjoyment and challenge.
    
    ... Bob

re .0: 

I read your note with wry amusement -- sounds like us oh so many years
ago! The first year we owned a boat we spent a beautiful Labor Day
weekend on our mooring because the 15 to 20 knot winds frightened us so
much. 

We limited our early sailing adventures to short trips on days when 
light winds and calm seas were forecast. We stayed fairly near 
Marblehead (where we kept the boat) so that if the weather did change 
we'd be near safety. I still remember the wonderful sense of 
accomplishment we felt at sailing from Marblehead to Gloucester (10 or 
12 miles) and back the same day. We finally felt like sailors. Sailing 
competence is acquired slowly, a little at a time. Don't be discouraged 
if things go wrong or you make mistakes. That is to be expected. Try to 
understand what you should have done, and go on to learning something 
else. If you keep doing something a little more daring, something that 
pushes your limits just a little, soon you will find that your abilities 
and confidence have increased greatly. The second Labor Day weekend we 
owned a boat we began our first cruise to Maine. 

Will the nervousness ever go away? No, it probably won't. What will 
happen is that the wind and sea conditions that make you uncomfortable 
will become worse and worse -- that is, you will begin to feel relaxed 
in good weather and only apprehensive in not so good weather. Again, 20 
knot winds once really worried me -- now 20 knots is glorious fun and 40 
is worrisome. One of the pleasures of sailing is that there is so much 
to learn. We've been sailing our current boat since the spring of 1980 
and I'm still learning about how it behaves and how to sail comfortably 
on long passages. 
    
If you can, find an experienced sailor to sail with you for a day or a 
weekend. Ask this person what he/she would do to make your boat safer 
and easier to sail. Look at boats like yours to see how they are rigged. 
Boats fresh from the builder (I'm obviously assuming you have a new 
boat) usually aren't quite right. Where do you keep your boat?

Finally, believe the charts. They are accurate. The problem is knowing 
where you are. But you probably didn't want to hear that (smile).

Have fun, but be careful.

Alan

    Five years ago my wife had never sailed other than the odd day out
    with me in dingys..... She was extremely nervous in our early days.
    Some suggestions for you.
     Several yachting schools run courses designed for sailing wives, they 
    seem to be beneficial. We now share the skippering of our yacht
    (The same size as yours).                       
     Our Yact Club most weekends have several "Cruise In Company" going to 
    various destinations. To sail in company is a great way of building 
    experiance safely and a lot of fun. The ability to talk to someone on
    a radio if you have a problem etc is very reassuring.
                   
    I hope you will get as much pleasure out of your yacht as the rest
    of us.                                          
    
    Pete
                                            
    

    Two specific suggestions in earlier replies that I dissagree with.
    
    1) "Sail with only the Main". This will leave the boat unbalanced,
    and it will sail poorly. You will get less drive and probably about
    the same heal, making things very uncomfortable. Sail with a small
    jib and main. You want the boat behaving at its best.
    
    2) "Stay close to shore". 
    One of your big worries is rocks, so get out in the open where you can
    concentrate on sailing the boat without worrying about the rocks.
    Of course Im not suggesting you head for England, but get a couple
    miles straight out to sea, then sail around until you get more
    comfortable with the sailing.
    
    I would suggest your best bet is to learn to sail in a dinghy first.
    There you can develop a real feel for whats happening, and better
    understand and control the forces involved.  

    I, for one think a little nervousness is a healthy thing in learning
    something new like sailing.  It encourages caution and hightens
    the senses allowing you to absorb more information and recall it.
    Panic has no use at all.  So don't feel bad.
    
    The best advice I've seen here is to get experienced friends to
    go out with you.  However, don't let the experienced ones do all
    the work.  Force yourself and your husband to do most of it with
    the friend(s) as coach.  Also keep in mind that under most
    circumstances you simply will not get hurt by making mistakes. 
    Even going aground is something that happens to ALL sailors eventually
    and is usually no big deal.
    
    Two things you will need to know how to do are read a compass and
    tell where the wind is coming from.  Get a book or join something
    like Community Boating in Boston to practice these skills.  As others
    have already noted, experience will come and with it, confidence.
    
    Sailing is way too expensive not to have fun!
    
    Dave

    Couple things...
    
    Note 134 has a pretty good discussion about overcoming sailing fears.
    It starts off with catamarans but progresses to more general
    discussion. 
    
    Let me second the comments in -.1!!!
    
    Do you have tell-tales? If not get them and put them on before you
    leave the mooring again. I'm a tell-tale sailor and believe very
    strongly in them. They give you a very clear picture of what the
    wind is doing.
    
    Assuming you're out in clear water - don't worry about compass
    direction. Sail the boat to the wind. 
    
    Hand-held compass for bearings. Get one, I've been using a Davis
    model for years to take bearings on buoys and landmarks to get
    positions. Big comfort factor especially in unfamiliar water.
    
    Charts. Believe 'em! Sam spends a lot of our monies making sure
    they're accurate. If you have a good idea where you are - go right
    up to a buoy - turn the depth sounder on and compare the depths
    on the chart to what your sounder is showing. Remember the depths
    you see will usually be greater because charts show depth at low
    water. check the chart to verify that. Also try to get a waterproof
    chart of your sailing area. you won't worry as much about getting
    it wet.
    
    Please tell us where you sail. Somebody (experienced of course :-)!)
    here may be able to spend some time with you.
    
    Above all.... Hang in there and keep sailing. We're all pulling
    for you.
    
    Ed

    re my .10 I was referring to .8's comments
    
    Dave, I don't believe the title you put on .9 :-)!
         
    Ed

    
    I would guess by the time you have read all these suggestions, that
    you may be all screwed up.  I don't have any more suggestions, but
    if you sail in the Little Harbor (Portsmouth) area, I would be glad
    to help you out.  There are a lot of good suggestions and bad ones
    as well (but well intentioned) throughout these comments.  I have
    been sailing for nine years, and I have a lot to learn as well.
    I usually learn something new every time out.  Sailing is always
    a learning experience.  
    
    Don't stay on the mooring, you can only learn how to drink on the
    moring, and I would suspect you didn't buy a boat for that.
    
                                        Bob
                                        264-8376
    

    .6	Thanks for the support and words of encouragement.  I am going
    	to give it another try this weekend - weather permitting.
    
    	We sail out of South Freeport, Maine.  Actually, the harbor
    	is fairly well protected and Casco Bay is large enought that
    	we should NOT have to get into the open ocean for the remainder
    	of the season.
    
    	And NO, I didn't smile when you asked about "know where you
    	are" - I find that most islands look alike when your out on
    	the water.
    
    	But I will give it time.  And yes, we do have friends in the
    	same area that have offered (and we will take them up on it)
    	to sail with us.
    
    

    .10	We sail out of S. Freeport, Maine.  And as a mater of fact one
    	of the guy in Stow has a boat (35') up there, we will get together
    	with them - SOON.
    
    	Thanks for the encouragement. 

    
    
    	I have chartered a Pearson 28 out of Marblehead and found
    	they are a well built and rigged boat. We sailed it over to
    	P-town and back one long weekend, it handled great.
    
    	Some suggestions,
    
    	Learn to read the chart of your area, land markings, water
    	marks, and look at your depth meter both at high tide and
    	at low tide. You can do this by just sitting in the cockpit
    	if you want at your slip or mooring. I like airplane 
    	photo graphs of the area if possible. (located in some
    	cruising guides).
    
    	Learn to motor your boat around these areas first if you
    	are in a bay area. You will learn how far the boat slides
    	forward when you stop the motor, how well it turns in close
    	areas and how the boat feels with the sail down.
    
    	Learn how the boat sails in light winds with just the main
    	then learn how to reef the main down to the first reef points
    	then reef down to the second points. Next just unroll the jib
    	and see how the boat moves, faster than the main and handles
    	easier. Get to know how all of the lines on the boat work
    	by their selfs and then how they work together. You can do all
    	of this in a large bay.
    
    	I agree with the other notes, if you know of other experinced
    	sailors take them along to show you how a boat sails.
    
    	Remember to take things slowly, and do them over and over
    	again until you feel confortable doing them and they work
    	for you. If it is too windy out just relax onboard, you have
    	all summer to enjoy good weather. When you do go out try and
    	go out with other boats, they will help build your confidence
    	and aid you if a problem occurs.
    
    	Good Luck this summer, you have bought a good crusing sailboat
    	and all you have to do is get to know each, this will take
    	a number of sailing seasons so don't rush it, take your
    	time and enjoy it.
    
    	richard

    .15	Thanks for the suggestions.  I/we have put some into practice
    	and find taking it slowly really does help w/the confidence
    	area.
        
    	Sandy
    

Sandy,

	Some advice from a second time novice. LEARN TO SAIL FOR
	YOURSELF! Make yourself a skipper too, and wrestle for the
	tiller [could get kinky but fun].
	(although I haven't convinced my alter ego to do this, I'm trying).

	I joined a local sailing club and am relearning (after 20 odd
	years) to sail. First year - if the tell-tails on the rigging
	were horizontal I drank coffee on the dock. Second year - "What
	not enough wind to hike out on the seat backs?? Darn, Oh well.."

	I'm actually having fun now! The only way to get rid of the
	belly-wobbles is to know what is going on and be able to do
	anything your partner can. Go as often as you feel comfortable,
	look, learn, ask questions, READ, DO and (hopefully) ENJOY. I
	loved sailing the first time round, and do again but it took some
	time. Remember what riding a bike was like? SCARED TO DEATH FOR
	THE FIRST 3 WEEKS!!!

		have fun,
		Greg

    .17		Thanks, Greg.   All of support you "sailors" have offered
    		had done great things as far as developing my confidence.
    
    		I have been out twice since the first "mishap" and 
    		enjoyed the sail both times.  I put up the sails and
    		got the tiller, under MY control.  The wind was light
    		and enjoyable.
    
    		I will master sailing yet.
    
    S

    It sounds as if you are going up that fun learning curve that never
    ceases. However nobody appears yet to have warned you of the real
    danger of sailing or the problems it can cause.......
    
    Above the door of a well known yachting school were the following
    words "Her Majesty's Government warns that sailing can be injurous
    to the wallet and is liable to be addictive"  
    You can spot sailors in many ways - Their gardens tend to be either
    concrete or over grown (We call it the old English cottage style,
    the neighbours occaisionaly ask when we are going to get the Combine
    harvester in to sort out the lawns)
    				      - At birthdays and Christmas they
    get presents that nobody else seems to understand (Last Christmas
    I gave my wife The North Brittany Pilot book, She gave me 100 feet
    of anchor plait)
    				      - On weekends when not sailing
    they can be spotted in their local pub looking uncomfortable in
   discussing everything but sailing.
    				      - Their homes are full of literature
    of items they cannot afford or even need for their craft.
    
    
    Beware of the addiction because once hooked ..........You start
    thinking about doing trans ocean passages. It would be nice to take
    say 5 or 10 years off and sail around the world especially in warmer
    climes........The reality tends to be a few weeks each year of sheer
    bliss. (This year 3 weeks cruising the Brittany Coast, so my distinctly
    better half who does the pilotage can use her Christmas present.....)
    
    Every day is different and something new is learnt especially when
    it is an activity that one can choose one own pace to learn at.
    
    
    Enjoy and get addicted and join the rest of the sailing fraternity,
    if nothing else it will give you a home away from home. You can
    walk into most yacht clubs in the world and get a warm welcome.
    
    Ah well back to work so I can pay for the dreams.
    
    Enjoy                           

    .19	
    
    	Pete, strains of truth are beginning to show thur ........
    
    Sandy

    One book that I'd recommend for the nervous novice is called
    "The Art of Coarse Sailing" or something like that.  It's a very
    humorous novel about all the things novices tend to do while learning
    the sport (quite tongue in cheek).  I read this a couple of years
    ago and could relate to a lot of the situations one finds oneself
    in.  Sorry, I can't remember the author.  But I do believe he's
    British, so perhaps one of our friends across the big puddle can
    help out.  Just keep in mind, it's humor not tutorial.  And meant,
    I'm sure, to re-inforce the old adage that "misery loves company".
    
    ... Bob

    Ah well now we are onto books of a dubious nature..........
                                                       
    The Art of Coarse Sailing is by Michael Green. I am afraid I cannot
    give you the Publisher as my copy is on loan....... The book is
    humorous in a mildly idiosyncratic English way. We all recognise
    ourselves in some of his tales. He is also the author of many other
    books which include The Art of Coarse Drinking, The Art of Coarse
    Rugby, The Art of Coarse Golf etc etc              
                                                       
                                                       
                                                  
    Another brilliant book I gave my wife just asfter she became a RYA
    Day Skipper (RYA = Royal Yachting Association) was Must I Go Down
    To The Sea Again by Lesley Black. She tells the tale of the sailing
    wife. Once again apologies I cannot tell you the publisher it is
    out on loan. It is very funny and should not be read on passage,
    the laughter it generates is dangerous for the helmsperson (Note
    the use of the word helmsperson I am well trained).
                      
                      
    I showed my wife this entry in the notes file and her pearls of
    wisdom for you are : Own a couple of aspects of running the boat.
    ie She works out all stowage, handles all pilotage once we are within
    a mile or so of our destination and second guesses me on Navigation.
    She also has become good on the helm as on passage I tend to do
    the navigation and that tends to mean I am fairly active once near
    the coasts. (We suffer from strong tides and rocky coasts , ring
    any bells?)
        
    Keep on enjoying and join the rest of us who have a fealing of immense
    pleasure on making a sucessful passage even if that passage is a
    Saturday afternoon sail or a longer adventure.
        
    Pete
                   
                      
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                                            
                                          
                                          
                      

My wife and I have read with interest the notes regarding fear (on the part of
a mate) of wind and the boat heeling. Within the last year, she has made
great strides in overcoming her fears while sailing through several steps.

Her first experience on a sailbaot was tipping over on a sailfish in a lake
in April (in 1967). Also, she has much less confidence in the water than I do.
We presently have a 19' COM-PAC yacht on Lake Winnipesaukee. It is a rather
heavy and stable boat with 800 lbs of keel ballast in a boat with 2000 lb 
displacement. Whenever the wind approached 15 knots or the boat heeled more
than 15 degrees, she would freeze, and between clenched teeth say
"Take me back!" Mentally, she knew it was o.k., but her gut feelings
were of panic.

In the last 2 years, I have gained a lot of confidence in the boat, especially
in heavy air. Several times I have really pushed the boat in winds over 20 knots
(with friends who enjoyed sailing hard) and found that after about 35-45 degrees
of heel, the boat will round up - I have been unable to get it to go past 45
degrees of heel, no matter what I did. After hearing this, (that the boat 
really didn't want to tip over) my wife beccame a little less timid, but was
still a fair weather sailor. Once last summer, she consented to take the helm
in a stiff breeze and began to feel a bit of control over the boat.

At the New England Sailboat Show, in Feb.) I took her to the New England 
Sailing School booth and asked her to talk with the owner about how his courses 
might relate to her lack of confidence. He seemed very laid back, and the 
school was about 1/2 hour from our home. She reluctantly agreed to take a 3 day 
sailing course - on Great Bay in Durham. 3 Days in a Rhoades 19 with two other 
women and the instructor (professional educator and decades of sailing, 
including circumnavugation). The second day was with one other student, and the 
third day she was alone in the class. (one decided after one day that she didn't
want to be on a sailboat at all) and the other was sick ther 3rd day).
She was really impressed with the instructor when on the first day (very gusty) 
she declined to take the tiller and he didn't push her. She ran the jib sheet, 
which she could let off whenever the heeling became uncomfortable.

She completed the course with a grade of 96, feels much more comfortable,
and has overall confidence that she can run the boat by herself - including
man overboard situations. Two weeks ago she docked under power at a dock she
had never seen before, when last summer she wouldn't even touch the motor!

She is not what I would call a heavy weather sailor (yet) but is well on her 
way to gaining confidence one step at a time - as others in this notes file 
have advocated. The well rounded course gave her feelings of control and 
confidence. I'm sure the attitude and experience of the instructor had a lot 
to do with it. Fortunately, he agreed with most of what I had told my wife,
which increased her confidence in me as a prudent sailor. Now we are 
talking about doing some coastal sailing in Maine. A couple of years ago she
had told me "No way are you getting me or the kids on the ocean".

If anyone wants more info on the school, New England Sailing School is in
its second year, ASA certified, is run from a farm on Durham Point
(on Great Bay). Presently they have 3 boats and 2 instructors. The coastal
sailing is from a boat kept on Badger's Island in Portsmouth Harbor.
The cost for her course was around $325 - (plus it cost me another $70
to take her and the kids out to dinner the night she completed the course)

For those of you who are overwhelmed by sailboats and some of the things that
they do, I would strongly recommend a learning environment such as my
wife experienced.

Happy Sailing!

Bill

    Bill, thanks for your input.  Practice does wonders for gaining
    confidence.  Read note 911. 
    
    The feeling of being in control, has helped tremendously.  We both
    took sailing lessons, on the ocean, and are presently sailing the
    high seas.  We are sailing out of South Freeport, Maine.  And I
    also, like the heavier winds as opposed to gentle breezes, a far
    cry from a few months ago.
    
    Applause, applause to your wife, sounds like she has made real progress
    as well as enjoying it.