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Conference trucks::football;1

Title: Soccer Football Conference
Notice:Don't forget your season ticket.....
Moderator:MOVIES::PLAYFORD
Created:Thu Aug 08 1991
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:608
Total number of notes:85903

483.0. "The worst players EVER (allegedly)" by COMICS::HAWLEYI (Anybody except Stuart Stratford) Mon Jun 05 1995 16:34

    
    This topic is for discussion of the worst football players ever to
    'grace' the field of play...
    
    (in your honest opinions, of course!)
    
    Ian.
    
    p.s i know its against protocol not to use the BRISTOL CITY conference
    for such matters, but hey, im a rebel!
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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483.1alright, so Richard Money was pretty badCOMICS::HAWLEYIAnybody except Stuart StratfordMon Jun 05 1995 16:388
    Creating this topic roves that I have nothing to do at work because I cant
    even think of a player to enter into the topic!
    
    Mind you, having always supported Liverpool. Its hard to think of a bad
    player! (comment designed to open the floodgates!)
    
    Ian.
    
483.2Celtic all-time greats...VYGER::REIDICeltic FC Scottish Cup Champions 1995Mon Jun 05 1995 16:415
    
    Wayne Biggins, Martin Hayes, Ian Andrews, Anton Rogan, the list 
    is endless.....
    
    Choppers
483.3barnsley heroCOMICS::HAWLEYIAnybody except Stuart StratfordMon Jun 05 1995 16:427
    
    > Wayne Biggins
    
    Isnt he the one with the smart back-flips???
    A Barnsley legend!
    
    Ian.
483.4There's only one .CHEFS::EDWARDSDMon Jun 05 1995 16:422
    Ralph Milne - Fergie, what were you thinking of ??????
    
483.5obviously another of fergies babesCOMICS::HAWLEYIAnybody except Stuart StratfordMon Jun 05 1995 16:484
    
    > Ralph Milne
    
    Who?
483.6YUPPY::OHAGANBMeals on Wheels of SteelMon Jun 05 1995 16:541
    Don McAllister, Spurs.
483.7Gus CaesarCHEFS::STRATFORDSnaive and gullibleMon Jun 05 1995 16:5914
    re .1
    
    >Creating this topic roves that I have nothing to do at work because I
                         ^^^^^
    >cant even think of a player to enter into the topic!
       ^^
    
    oh dear, etc.
    
    Ian,
    
    I thought you were having a row in the F1 conference ;^)
    
    Stuart
483.8mines a 46 inch waist pleaseMUGGER::HUGHESSSOLUTIONS SUPPORT GROUPMon Jun 05 1995 17:026
    John Barnes........
    
    
    for when he pulls on an England shirt.
    
    
483.9CHEFS::EDWARDSDMon Jun 05 1995 17:149
    Ian,
    
    You cannot be serious - surely you've heard of the Great Ralph Milne
    of Bristol City (aaaagh - cue Malc) fame !  He was one of Fergie first
    (major) signings.  I think he cost about 1.? million and he was
    absolute sh!te.
    
    Dave
    
483.10This is a demo for Paul Scouse Weir ...AYOV29::MTHEODORESONCop for that, our kidMon Jun 05 1995 17:388
    
    Dave
    
    	Ralph Milne (of Dundee United ?) never played for Bristol City. Did
    he ?
    
    Malc.
    
483.11CHEFS::EDWARDSDMon Jun 05 1995 17:434
    Malc,
    
    I'm 99.9% sure that's where fergie dug him up from (unless it was all
    just a bad dream .........) 
483.12CHEFS::STRATFORDSfoul mouthed and evil temperedMon Jun 05 1995 17:469
    Malc,
    
    He did.
    
    Dave
    
    I thought it was where Fergie off-loaded him to.
    
    Stuart
483.13ConfirmedCHEFS::EDWARDSDMon Jun 05 1995 17:546
    Stuart,
    
    Fergie definitely bought Ralphie-baby from Bristol City, although the
    fee was about 300K not the 1.something million I stated earlier.
    
    
483.14FORTY2::FOWLERMGrimsby Liberation FrontMon Jun 05 1995 17:555
Pshaw, everyone knows that the worst player ever was Torben Piechnik.

For worst as in dirtiest who was that Spurs defender? Mark Dennis?

mike
483.15YUPPY::ASHLEYSMITHironing the irony boardMon Jun 05 1995 18:0314
    At Chelsea - Alan Mayes - truly dreadful. Having said that I did
    actually see him score a hat-trick against Cambridge once when the
    Blues were languishing in the bottom half of the old Second Division
    many years ago. The ball just seem to hit him and go in, three times.
    
    Of current players I can remember an incredibly bad performance
    from a Palace midfielder called Bobby Bowry (Bowery?) on TV a couple 
    of years ago. He was absolutely abysmal and appeared to genuinely 
    not have a clue. Messrs Panes & Pateman can probably confirm whether
    this was a 'one-off' or whether he was always like that. Don't seem
    to recall him playing much last season.
    
    Andy
        
483.16RTOVC0::DCASSIDYTue Jun 06 1995 13:306
    
    Don Howe.......now this is MEANT to open the floodgates. How can such
    an awful player be promoted to such an elevated level in the FA. I
    guess the Will Carling brigade will have something to day about that...
    
    Dezzz.
483.17Peter Ward's sidekick...ha, ha!VARESE::SACHA::IDC_BSTROh no! NOT Milan Kundera again!Tue Jun 06 1995 15:349
    Cruel game, this. I think it probably narrows it down a bit if you
    stick to your home club. In which case, I don't think many Brighton
    fans can have forgotten (or forgiven!) old daddy-longlegs himself, Ian
    Mellor.
    
    I don't want to be too unkind because he did have his moments...let's
    just say that he didn't have too many of them for Brighton!
    
    Dom
483.18TRUCKS::SANTGo on, give it one more turn....Tue Jun 06 1995 15:367
    
    	Or Norwich.
    	Or Man City.
    
    	If it's the same Ian Mellor I'm remembering...
    
    	Andy.
483.19Much-travelled...I wonder why ;-)VARESE::SACHA::IDC_BSTROh no! NOT Milan Kundera again!Tue Jun 06 1995 15:446
    	>If it's the same Ian Mellor I'm remembering...
    
    The very same ;-)
    
    
    
483.20Frank's older brotherYUPPY::ANDERSONREuro-Cup & Relegation DoubleTue Jun 06 1995 17:121
    Bob Worthington
483.21RTOVC0::DCASSIDYTue Jun 06 1995 17:266
    
    I remember years ago when living in Fulham and used to occasionaly get
    down to Stamford Bridge...my goodness did Ray Wilkin's brother (Graham
    ?) get a lot of stick from the locals... he wasn't that bad was he ??
    
    Dezzz.                                                             
483.22oo aa ray wilkinsCOMICS::HAWLEYIAnybody except Stuart StratfordTue Jun 06 1995 17:326
    
    I met Ray Wilkins' brother at a hotel in the caribbean.
    Strong resemblance! (between him and his brother, not his brother and
    the hotel!)
    
    Ian.
483.23VARESE::SACHA::IDC_BSTROh no! NOT Milan Kundera again!Tue Jun 06 1995 17:477
    Taking the conversation in a full circle back to Brighton:
    
    Not a lot of people know that the "other" Wilkins brother, Dean, plays
    (played?) for Brighton. Unfortunately, I think he has more in common
    with Graham than Ray (from a footballing point-of-view).
    
    Dom
483.24Stuart Kennedy: The worst goalkeeper EVER !!!KIRKTN::JJACKAgainst the famine & the crown....Tue Jun 06 1995 23:4528
    
    In the early 80's, Celtic had some real duffers on the books. Two that
    spring to mind were Graeme Sinclair (A sort of cross between a farmer
    and an Albino), and Willie Garner (Around 18 stones & scored two OG's
    on his debut for the Bhoys against St.Mirren in a League Cup section
    match......in I think...1980).
    
    However, no-one noticed how awful these two players were at this time,
    coz over at Ibrox, there were more than enough huddies to keep
    everyone's attention away from Parkhead.
    Can any of you huns remember Gregor Stevens (Made Freddy Kruger look
    like Tom Cruise) ?  And what about Andy Kennedy (raingurs answer to
    the then in form Charlie Nicholas) ?
    
    However, the worst player I've ever had the displeasure of watching,
    without a shadow of a doubt, the Huddie of the century in Scottish
    football......1st prize goes to Brian Whittaker (ex-Partick Thistle).
    
    I don't believe to this day that we signed this clown (He resembled a
    hairdresser.......a bad one !). 
    
    Getting back to Graeme Sinclair though, I must admit, that when I was
    in Holland in 1982 (Watching the Bhoys gub Ajax 2-1) in a European Cup
    tie, the aforementioned `Sinky', marked the talented (But getting old)
    Johann Cruyff out of the game. He played a stormer that night.
    He must have been on drugs (Or maybe Cruyff was ???).
    
    
483.25Stewart Kennedy deserves a mention.KIRKTN::DROONEYLifes a beachTue Jun 06 1995 23:456
    
    Tommy Docherty said that the worst player he`d ever seen was....
    
    Jimmy Hill.
    
    Davie
483.26Dave Beasant may qualify soon.KIRKTN::DROONEYLifes a beachWed Jun 07 1995 02:527
    
    Spooky...
    
    Check the time of the last two notes.....and we both mentioned
    Stewart Kennedy.
    
    Davie.
483.27Jim Denny deserves a mention hers as well.....BHAJI::ISUTHERLANDSame Sh*t...Different day.Wed Jun 07 1995 09:497
    
    C'mon now boys.Stewart Kennedy was never as bad as Ally Maxwell.
    People seem only to remember him for his display et Wembley in 1975.
    That game apart,he was a more than adequate 'keeper,but he was never
    the same after this match.
    
    JJ,do you remember Frank Munro ?
483.28Stuart Kennedy - there i've mentioned itAYOV27::FW_TEMP01Billericay 6 Farnboro 0 (FAVase SF 81)Wed Jun 07 1995 09:574
Was it Stuart Kennedy who was swinging from the crossbar for Rangers in 
some Scottish Cup Final while the ball bounced into the net?

John Hussey
483.29I felt sorry for the guy at the time, honest ...AYOV29::MTHEODORESONCop for that, our kidWed Jun 07 1995 10:0210
    
    	Though I hate to admit it, ISUTHERLAND is right. Kennedy should not
    be totally condemned for having one very bad game (although it totally
    destroyed his confidence and he was never the same player again). He
    was at the end of a season where he had done some sterling stuff for
    Rangers and full deserved his first caps in the home internationals of
    that year (the date of which I can't remember. Can anyone enlighten me?).
    
    Malc.
    
483.30Ooops ...AYOV29::MTHEODORESONCop for that, our kidWed Jun 07 1995 10:043
    
    Sorry I missed the 1975 in 27. John that was Peter McCloy.
    
483.31** = Added specifically for the benefit of big Colin. ;>)BHAJI::ISUTHERLANDSame Sh*t...Different day.Wed Jun 07 1995 10:107
    
    No John,that was big "gas meter".(Peter McCloy) v the sheep 1978
    Scottish Cup final,**(which Rangers won 2-1,thus securing the TREBLE
    for a record fourth time).**
    
    BTW,*STUART* Kennedy was the sheep's right-back at that time.
    *STEWART* Kennedy was the ex-Ranger.
483.32Another two of Rangers' "finest".BHAJI::ISUTHERLANDSame Sh*t...Different day.Wed Jun 07 1995 18:599
    
    Just thought of another two who would (dis)grace this "wonderful"
    squad.
    
    
    Ally Scott and Billy Urquart.What a lethal front pairing these two
    would make....
    
    NOT!!!!
483.33Johnny Crumplin Footballing GeniusWOTVAX::DAVIESGGuy DaviesThu Jun 08 1995 18:459
    Does anyone else remember Johnny Crumplin of Brighton & Hove Albion,
    imortalised by the "Footballing Genius" title the Seagulls fans gave
    him. Hence many amuzing T-shirts and songs.
    
    Johnny was well known for hoofing the ball out of the ground at least 5
    times a game. He was also the slowest player in division 3, mentally
    and physically.
    
    Guy
483.34Danny Crainie - he was really Sh!teAYOV25::SLITTLEJOHNFri Jun 09 1995 09:1910
I remember a Killie home match last season when the team was being
announced over the Tannoy and Danny Crainie was playing.....it's the 
only time I've ever heard such a huge groan from the terracing followed 
by comments like  "oh for f%cks sake". His only claim at being a 
footballer was in a match against Partick Thistle where he scored from
the half way line, I'm still convinced it wasn't meant and it was 
really just his usual huge punt up the park. 

Stuart 
483.35Hope I`m wrong...KIRKTN::DROONEYLifes a beachFri Jun 09 1995 21:3812
    
    After what I saw of the England Sweden match last night I think
    Warren Barton may be the most expensive dumpling of all time.
    Maybe I`m being a bit hard on him at this early stage of his
    international career and he may take time to adjust to the pace
    of a higher level,but he kept diving in and offered nothing in
    an attacking sense.
    
    Incidently,who does the guy Cooper play with,he looked a bit
    suspect as well.
    
    Davie
483.36Circle Game!MSAM03::ROBERTLIMDigital in MalaysiaSat Jun 10 1995 21:017
    Peter Sullivan, Brighton winger/midfuddler during the late 70's!
    
    In four years I have never seen him pass the ball forward nor run
    straight at opposition.  He is always running around the center-circle
    with the ball and losing possession.  Real seaweed ...              
    
    Robert
483.37dirty gitWOTVAX::NEARYMVINI..VIDI..VICIWed Jun 21 1995 16:557
    Hey 
    
    
    Brian Robson what a dirty git he was in his later years, he should
    of ended his career when he was 30.
    
    
483.38CHEFS::EDWARDSDWed Jun 21 1995 16:599
    >Hey
    >Brian Robson what a dirty git he was in his later years, he should
    >of ended his career when he was 30.
    
    Hey
    
    Duncan Ferguson what a dirty git he was in his younger years, he should
    of ended his career when he was 24.
    
483.39KERNEL::WITHALLGWe Don't Do Duvets .......Thu Jun 22 1995 16:589
    
    re. 33  
    
    John Crumplin is at Woking now. 
    
    We actually quite like him.
    
    
    
483.40He was not a great playerPIECES::DAYLER::oneillsseachain na neantogaThu Aug 17 1995 15:036
Eamonn Dunphy of ManU reserves, Millwall, Charlton and Reading.

He should have stuck to cleaning Johnny Giles boots rather than dirtying his nose on TV.


Shane
483.41dumplings the lot of themIRPC01::JMCFARLANDFri Sep 01 1995 12:5210
    Basil Boli one of the most over rated players i have ever seen he is
    absouloutely Bo**&^$s and i fancy leeds to take about 7 off monaco if
    that big dumpling is at the centre of Defence.  (not that i like leeds
    or anything).  Also Mark Wright of Liverpool must be one of the worst
    signings the pool have ever made he is crap.  and last but not least
    the trio that celtic have all had playing in their team  Owen Archdicon
    Wayne Biggins And Tony Cascarino need i say more.
    
    Big Jock
    
483.42and i'm a celtic sympathiser/rangers haterCOMICS::HAWLEYIMr Flibble says: Game over boysFri Sep 01 1995 12:5913
    
    Owen Archdeacon was fabulous for Barnsley. Biggins wasnt that bad
    either.
    
    Maybe they should have set their sights lower from the start.
    
    Then again, in the Celtic team of the late 80's/early 90's, even if they
    were THAT bad I would be suprised if the stood out from the rest of
    them.
    
    hugs,
    
    Ian.
483.43Gary Birtles was pretty awful !!CHEFS::RUTHERFORDIA)bort R)etry F)*** It !!Fri Sep 01 1995 14:278
    I have to say that Dale Gordon was probably the worst signing that
    Rangers have made in recent history. Mike Phelan was sh*te for Man Utd,
    Gary Ablett is an absolute donkey, Dave Beasant, Richard Edghill, Eddie
    McGoldrick and Jason Lee are all B*&&*�$! and the worst of the lot has
    to be Francis Benali of Southampton. Absolute Pish !!!
    
    
    Ian.
483.44Ralph???WARFUT::STOCKMANSFri Sep 01 1995 16:0418
Mike Phelan wasn't S***e for us.

At the time I felt he did a job, not brilliant, but a good
solid job for us.
The funniest thing I remember about Micky was that on a certain
evening he was saying how he'd love to get a goal for us as he'd
been out injured for a spell.
Wooooould you believe it, the sod scored & I missed the goal stuck
in a queue trying to get in!
The game was all ticket an all so I was a tad surprised to find these
HHHUUUUUGGGGGGEEEEEE queues upon turning up.

My worst player anyway has to be Ralph Milne! He was garbo with a capital


				`G'!!!!!!!!

Si
483.45TUXEDO::HINXMANLet's all laugh for a momentFri Sep 01 1995 22:254
    I think I've said it before. If you think Francis Benali is bad, you
    haven't seen Simon Charlton.
    
    ony