Conference trucks::football;1

    
    OK, I'll agree with you (but I'm not going to make a habit of it).
    
    Malc.
    

    

    Saw that Patsy Kensitt was on the program on Friday night. She
    confessed to being a Rangers supporter.

    Oh well....that dispels the myth that there is no such thing as an
    attractive hun..

    
    Martin,
    
    Wasn't she married (or still is ?) to Jim `Ooh Aah" Kerr ?
    You'd have thought he would have knocked that oot her.
    
    

    Is that Jim Kerr from Simple Minds? I thought he was married to
    Chrissie Hinde (sp?) from the pretenders.
    
    Paul

    No JJ is correct, he is married to Patsy Kensit.
    Not JJ,Jim Kerr that is.

He's divorced from Chrissie Hinde.

    She collects them (I mean, rock stars). Previous was Raymond Douglas
    Davies of Kinks fame.
    
    "Who's gonna be the next in line"
    
    /JF

    
    I thought she (Patsy Kensit) was at one time married to Dan Donovan of
    Big Audio Dynamite, son or nephew, of Terence Donovan, but I might be
    wrong.
    
    Steve

Isn't Jason Donovan the son of Terence Donovan? (Terence Donovan being Doug in 
Neighbours)

    
    Yes that's right. He's the half-brother of Terence Trent D'Arby & Irish
    folkie type singer, Donovan !
    
    

    Steve
    
    She was. Maybe they could all get together and form a "supergroup"
    albeit ignoring you Ms. Kensit.
    
    Stuart
    

    Come on, chaps. A woman who is that tasty *and* interested in football
    (expect lots of notes from one half of Glasgow saying that she isn't).
    Who gives a $hit if she can't sing.
    
    Paul.
    

    
    Paul,
    	I saw her getting her kit off in Lethal Weapon II the other week.
    Nothing to write home about really.
    
    Malc.
    

    Malc
    
    I dunno, she wasn't that bad ;-)
    
    Stuart

    
    Stuart,
    
    	I just wanna say pancakes, as in "flat as". 'Nuff said.
    
    Malc.
    

...She was quite nice, I thought...size isn't everything!

...not that it affects me, of course...

...or the missus...

...er...yes.

That's because she had to change into the new kit , the old one went out of date
during the adds. Call Umbro, 35 quid ,and it can be yours.

    
    As in blue/white stripes 34A- 'Chapel Hat-peg' comfort fit with
    under-wires?
    
    Who else remembers the Bird's Eye Pea advert from the early seventies?
    
    Marks out of ten ?  I'd give her one.
    
    Steve$sad_fucker

    Did anyone happen to see Don't Forget Your Toothbrush II on Saturday ?
    They decided to show the F.A. Cup to some poor under-priveleged people
    and promptly wheeled out a load of Arsenal supporters, one of which was
    Tony Adams' brother !!
    
    Well it made me laugh, anyway !!
    
    Ian.

	Did anyone see FFL on Friday night.  They did a Cantona-esque sketch, 
	where someone shouted abuse at Statto, and Statto battered him.

	Well I thought it was funny.

	Choppers

    
    	On FFL on Friday night, Skinner and Baddiel were waiting for Dennis
    Wise to arrive to recreate his greatest ever goal. David Baddiel said :
    "He'll be here in a minute. He's coming by taxi." and Frank Skinner
    said : "OHH NOOO!".
    
    	I didn't get it at the time but I do now. Err quite funny really ....
    
    Malc.
    

Now I remember( and get it ) :-)

Thanks.

>         Bored with the same old Fantasy Games? Fed up with Fantasy
>         Football League, Fantasy Arithmetic (aka Fantasy American
>         Football), Fantasy Grand Prix???
>
>         National Front Productions proudly present their new series of
>         Fantasy games...
>
>                               FANTASY FOOTBALL MATCH
>                               ======================
>
>         The rules of the game are simple - pick any team (national or
>         international) and score two points for every match abandoned due
>         to crowd trouble. Three points are lost for each game actually
>         played. However, you may not pick any of the following: A.C.
>         Milan, Genoa, Millwall, Chelsea or England, since that would make
>         things too easy.
>
>
>                            FANTASY FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION
>                            ============================
>
>         You are Sir Bert Millichip, President of the Football Association,
>         and you must choose your management team. You are given L100
>         pounds to spend scouring the dole queues for candidates. Two
>         points are scored for every dour, fat moron you employ, and one
>         point for every bald old man who can grin inanely while making the
>         F.A. Cup draw. However, you lose a point for each employee with a
>         brain, and each use of the phrase "mindless thugs" by any of your
>         employees.
>
>
>         And the one you've all been waiting for:
>
>                               FANTASY GARDA SIOCHANA
>                               ======================
>
>
>         Drafted in from the wilds of County Tipperary, you must sell your
>         regulation bicycle to raise funds to employ a riot squad, since
>         the Finance Department can't afford one. When the Fantasy Building
>         Contractor has finished building his stadium from old tomato
>         boxes, Gallaher boxes, tea chests and the like, your squad will
>         patrol it during matches, preferably remaining outside the ground
>         while the fans are all inside.
>
>         The scoring system is simple - gain three points for each
>         supporter beaten around the head during baton charges, two points
>         for each assist (i.e. bringing along a spare baton so the stewards
>         can join in the fun). However, you will lose a point every time
>         you are seen accepting a free pint from a supporter before the
>         match, and for each sheep allowed into the stadium. A special four
>         point bonus will be awarded for each member of your squad who can
>         gather up enough wood after the riot to light a fire at home.
>

           Ireland 1 - England 0 Feb 15th,1995
-----------------------------------------------------------------

    The last of the current series was shown on Friday, and quite a laugh
    it was too. Especially when Alan Hansen said that his favourite singer
    was Billy Joel. Frank Skinner then proceeded to sing "Don't go
    changin', to try and please me" and enquired whether Des Lynam liked
    him aswell, refering to Des's Frank Bough like antics with that
    sex-change Bond Girl. 
    
    Pretty hysterical at 11:30 on a Friday night, I can tell you !!
    
    
    Ian.

    
    > refering to Des's Frank Bough like antics with that sex-change Bond
    > Girl.
    
    i dont read the sun, whats this about?
    If it isnt suittable for a public conference, drop us a mail!??
    
    Ian.

    Apparently, about 15 years ago, Dessie had a 2 year fling with the
    sex-change Bond girl, Tula. (S)he describes the affair as "very
    passionate" and states that "Des's moustache tickled her in all the
    right places".
    
    
    Nuff said.
    
    If you want more, the papers on my desk REO D1/11 !!
    
    
    Ian. 

    
    I particularly liked the Gary Lineker/Willie Thorne gags which ran
    throughout the series,especially Friday's.

    Some late news....Fantasy Football League is no more, it seems. Messrs.
    Baddiel & Skinner have moved on to bigger and better things and there's
    nobody to take their place, (nobody who's any good, that is). No more
    big `HELLO's, no more `Phoenix from the flames' and no more
    `Statto'....
    
    life just seems so empty. Fridays will never be the same again....
                                                         
    Ray....

    Major p*sser indeed!