Conference trucks::football;1

    
    That man Lineker is no slouch either, even though he is 
     considered by some to be an "old man".
    
     He is still knocking in the goals in the English 1st Division.
    
         Nick.

    Anyone got any team info?. I think this game may not be an accurate 
    pointer to the Euros as there are some significant absences through
    injury in the England setup (Platt, Sharpe, Gascoine?,Barnes?). I
    reckon Platini wont want to give too much away either and will leave
    out a couple of key players. I fancy Taylor will give Shearer a go too,
    either as a straight replacement for the boy Lineker or even as a 
    striking partner. I`ve noticed from watching Southampton on the box
    lately that Shearer likes to go wide a lot, that may suit Lineker as
    he`s a straight down the middle man. Dont think England will be able
    to stop Papin scoring at least once.
    
    Tony

    
    This game would have been an ideal chance for Taylor to give Gary
    Stevens a game. He is (IMO) a far better right back than Lee Dixon
    and is the most consistent player in Scotland at the moment. 
    Taylor was at the Rangers v Aberdeen cup game but wanted to see Hately
    who was out injured and never even said hello to Stevens.
                                                                
    GORDON... 

Re .2, no England team news yet. taylor's named a squad of THIRTY to cover the 
Wembley game and the U-21 game the previous night. As you said, no Barnes, 
Platt, Gascoigne - but everyone else is in!

grahame

    
    	Two key players of the French selection (at least) will not be
    there, due to injuries:
     * The goal keeper Bruno Martini, replaced by Rousset (who does not 
       seem to be very secure at the moment)
     * The winger Vahirua, whose backup is not yet known.
    
     Pierre-Yves

    
    Is Macmanamamamamamaman in the squad, or will Taylor wait until he is
    30 to give him a chance ?
    
    Wayne.

The England squad for both the B game and the first team games against France
has been combined as Taylor wants to start building the squad for the European
championship.

The new surprise selection is Jones (not Vinnie), the young right back from
Liverpool, but there is no MacManaman. Also, Matthew LeTissier and Alan Shearer
from Southampton have been included along with Martin Keown of Everton.

The full squad as far as I can remember is:

	Woods			Webb
	Seaman			Batty
	Coton			Thomas
	Dixon			Rocastle
	Jones			Sinton
	Pearce			Daley
	Dorigo			Le Tissier
	Wright			Shearer
	Walker			Lineker
	Pallister		Wright
	Keown			Shearer
	Mabbutt			Ince
	Stewart

	Beardsley and a couple of others are on standby.

		Steve.

    Well that well known Yorkshire lad Eric Cantona is in the starting
    11 for the England game. It's a pity that the talented French
    Club player Chris Waddles not in the England team squad.
    
    Waddle continues to entertain the French crowds and stops the French
    commentators from telling every one how dull the English game is...
    
    The warm up game is tommorow with 15 players each in Paris.....
    
    -Dom

    Yeah but when Waddle plays for England he IS boring. Same for Barnes.
    
    �JF?

    What do you mean by saying that there can't be a more lethal finisher
    in Europe. Did you ever in your life take a look at our Marco van
    Basten??? It seems like if you did not.
    
    bye and have a lot of pleasure watching A.C. Milan
    
    Bart

    I like : " ... at our Marco van ..."
                      ^^^
    

    Let's hope Wednesdays game is little cleaner than Saturdays rugby
    match. It does add another twist to the game, French pride
    certainly a little hurt, more from how the English press viewed
    the game than from the actuall result. Just goes to show what happens
    if you quote from the 'Sun' and 'News of the World'.
    
    Yesterdays TF1 football review gave a close look at the French
    goalie Rousset (sp) who is normally the second choice for the 
    French team. He gave the impression of being a 'tall Bruce Grobellar'
    especially in some of the daft run outs from his area.
    
    Could be a weak point to exploit for Wednesday.....
    
    -Dom            

    
    Well, having seen the last few French matches, I'd say the last
    prediction was just a little optimistic ! Does it really matter who
    they stick in goal if England don't get anywhere near it ??? I gather
    we'll be without a few "regular" players too, if you can call them
    that. I liken the situation with the current England side to that of
    the French rugby team - ie, a period of transition. So I wouldn't be
    surprised if the french strolled this one by three or four goals. Let's
    face it, it wouldn't be too much of a disaster anyway, if they go to
    Sweden thinking that we'll be pushovers !
    
    Ads (who, incidentally, will probably be watching the game as the only
    England supporter in a bar crowded with fanatical Frenchmen !)
    

    
    re. 12 -
    
    	I forgot to ask - how did the British press view the rugby match ?
    You might be interested to hear what the papers over here had to say, I
    can tell you !
    
    Ads.

    Well Ads I'm in Geneva, so all I got was a quick glimpse of the
    headlines from what was shown on STADE 2 as the French commentary
    team went over the debacle. I did get yesterdays Observer and that
    was ENGLAND ROUT UNRULY FRENCH, a bit dramatic for one of the
    'sensible papers' what?
    
    Best of luck on Wednesday just rememeber not to jump up and down
    when England score. I'll be introducing my 8 month year old
    daughter to English football when its being shown on French TV...
    ...I hope it doesn't send her to sleep, on secon thoughts I hope it
    does as I'll get to see the game in a bit of peace!
    
    -Dom                             

    
    >> I did get yesterdays Observer and that
    >> was ENGLAND ROUT UNRULY FRENCH, a bit dramatic for one of the
    >> 'sensible papers' what?
    
    Agreed. But get some of this, as reported in the french press :-
    
    Apparently one of the English forwards, in an interview in a french
    magazine before the game, made certain "statements" regarding the
    french "style of play" - basically that the ref needs to keep his wits
    about him. According to this journalist, this led to "the referee
    spending all his time watching the men in blue, thereby allowing the
    English to CHEAT AT WILL without punishment". Now that's strong enough,
    but here comes the 'pi�ce de resistance'...
    
    	"The sendings off of <frenchman no.1> (for stomping repeatedly
    on someone's head) and <frenchman no.2> (for a head butt), were,
    despite the fact that they had been warned not five minutes
    previously, totally unjustified ...."  !!!!
    
    	My apologies to the french guys who read this conference - but
    surely that's taking journalistic licence a little too far ... IMHO,
    it's a great shame - there's no doubting the talent and potential of
    the side, but they just seem to lose their heads on these big occasions
    for some reason. Something that the footballers don't seem to have a
    problem with, thankfully (then again, we haven't seen them losing for a
    while...  8-)  8-)  )  !!
    
    Ads.

    May I just say that the 2 French commentators, after the game and the
    excitement, conceded that the English were... simply better on the day
    and that "possible" ref bias was not the reason behind the defeat.
    
    The problem is elsewhere. I don't know English rugby, but French rugby
    certainly is rough to say the least. A pity, as we do have the best
    skills for fast play etc.
    
    Oops, this is a football conference and I am one of the moderators, the
    founder... Perhaps I will delete my note now... no, tomorrow, so you
    get a chance to read it!
    
    Revenge next Wednesday :-)
    
    �JF?

    
    Try ADD ENTRY SHAWB1::RUGBY          
    
    SHAWB1's decnet address is 41.570..
    
    Your comments would of interest to the rugby noters trying to
    understand the French so called different way of playing the game.
    (That isn't a dig at anybody neither)..
    
    Gary..

    
    ...Just seen the team selection for the 'B' international tonight at
    Q.P.R.'s ground (I've forgotten where that is..);
    
    Seaman (Arsenal)
    Curle   (Man City)
    Dorigo  (Leeds)
    Stewart (Spurs)
    Mabbutt (Spurs)  Capt.
    Pallister (Man Utd)
    Ince    (Man Utd)
    Merson  (Arsenal)
    Wright  (Arsenal)
    Palmer  (Sheff. Wed)
    Sinton  (Q.P.R.)
    
    So you can get most of the team of the big game by taking these players 
    away from the 30-strong squad. Sort of.
    
    Greg...

    
    
    Is the game live on French TV?
    
    
    
    Michael
    

    
    The England team has been announced, I haven't heard all the details,
    but Lineker's OUT. In come Rob Jones (Liverpool) ????, Shearer
    (Southampton) and MARTIN KEOWN - Everton's classy centre back.
    
    Paul

    Michael,
    
    If I remember correctly, it's on TF1 at 20.50. I assume that's a 21.00
    kick-off (20.00 for the UK and Mickey Mouse has his big hand on the 12
    and his little hand on the 8 for the mackems)
    
    
     peter 

	Woods
	Jones
	Pearce
	Walker
	Wright
	Keown
	Webb
	Clough
	Shearer (Southampton)
	Hirst
	Thomas (FEs)

Lineker is one of the subs. Interesting that Taylor isusing this match to get 
experience for uncapped players, but Platini has picked an almost 
full-strength team

grahame

    Great to see Clough get an outing, is it Clough jnr or snr?
    
    Tony jnr

    
    	A little strange for Taylor to pick a sweeper. Clough is not a good
    	choice, nor a particularly long-term one, but he probably got a
    	chance owing to all those injuries.
    
    	Great to see young Jones in the side. This boy is *good* and I've
    	said as much a few times in the Liverpool note recently. Well done
    	to him, and to Sourpuss, who must take some of the credit for
    	unearthing him from Crewe.
    
    	Just can't see who's going to get the goals..
    
    	Andy. 

    Re. 19
    
    The 'B' game is live on Canal+ in France, just about to start actually.
    If you're reading this from home and you have le d�codeur, enjoy!
    
    �JF? [I don't have a decoder so I'll eat tacos instead]

    RE-2
    
      Boring ?????
    
    Id say this is the most interesting team Graham Taylor has picked as 
    England manager.At least he is picking promising players for this
    one,not unlike other games where he picked Gray,Wise Sinton Etc.
    
      It good to see him going with a sweeper,lets hope he sticks with
    it,This allows Pearce and Jones to get foward without having to worry
    to much about charging back everytime we lose the ball.England played
    there best Football for years in the World Cup when they used a
    sweeper.Last night the B side were knocking the ball about,actually
    playing Footaball,it seems Graham Taylor has decided maybe the passing
    game is the way foward,and not playing the long ball.
    
      I hope the French A Team are better than the B side,I expect they
    will be.
    
    Dave...

    
    England won 3-0,with goals from Paul Merson,Paul Stewart and an O.G.
     The French actually scored a perfectly good goal.that the ref
    dissallowed as he didnt think it crossed the line,replays showed it to
    be atleast a foot over.England dominated,and Merson's goal was agood
    one from a free kick.Carlton Palmer had a very ggod game as did Keith
    Curle.The French were very dissapointing.
    
    Dave...

    I must be out of touch but who is Hirst?

David Hirst plays for Sheffield Wednesday and is one of those rare strikers 
who can actually play a bit. He got a game or two on the summer tour.

Was the B game on British TV last night? I couldn't find it . . .

grahame

    So why has Brian Deane been left out ?? Shearer !! Spare me.

    I hope Englands first team can match the B team score, 3-0 will do
    just fine. Good to see Clough in, would have prefered to see his
    Dad in the Manager spot too.......
    
    Last nights France vs USA ice hockey match carried the spirit of
    Saturdays Rugby match on, with it  ending in a mass brawl, lets hope the
    soccer is a little more civalised.
    
    -Dom

And the mystery of why Le Tissier only played the last few minsutes last night 
is solved - England's substitutes for tonight:

	Seaman, Dixon, Batty, Lineker, Le Tissier.

g

     
    Why is Lineker on the subs bench ?? Performance probs !! or just to
    give someone else a runout.

    The English defenders get to have a good look at J-P Papin tonight
    (if they turn their heads quick enough!), guess Taylor is not inclined
    to show off his star striker in return. On the other hand, maybe he`s
    just playing crap!.
    
    Tony

re -.2

Lineker's on the bench purely to let Hirst & Shearer have a go.

Al

    
    	I think it'll be a draw too....nil-nil.
    
    	Andy.

    
    Re:- Lineker.
    
    What you have to remember is that Lineker will retire from England
    duty after the Euro Finals. Taylor is simply taking advantage of
    the friendly internationals to see who he can put in Linekers
    place after he goes as opposed to waiting until he has already
    gone. 
    
    I understand that he is looking for a two man partnership replacement
    as opposed to a single striker practice. The sweeper system will be
    employed this evening as well so with a bit of luck we'll see Pearce
    and Jones patrolling the flanks.
    
    
    JN.
    
    

    
    What was the score then ?
    
    And also,...I bet Paul Elliott (ex-Celtic) is really delighted with the
    way his England career has taken off since joining Chelsea 8*))

    
    England 2 France 0

    In the end England looked good and deserved they're win. There were moments
    in the first half that didn't look too good. A mixture of lack
    of imagination plus lack of confidence made them look a bit lost.
    But it all changed with the goal at the end of the half and after
    Lineker came on. The French seemed to lose heart and players
    like Papin were never given the room that they get in the French
    League.
    
    With the addition of a player like Gascoine, the team could get
    to the final this summer.
    
    -Dom

    
    I saw this game live last night on Sky Sports and England (to my
    surprise) played really well without what is widely considered our
    danger men (Gazza, Platt etc.). Shearer is definetly England's new
    danger man, and He showed it last night with a very classy performance
    that proved he is an adequate replacement for Lineker, and more
    importantly, he plays well alongside Lineker which is a good sign for
    the European Champs. I also thought that Rob Jones played a blinder
    showing great composure at the back and almost getting a goal early on.
    	
    On the other side of the coin, France played some exciting football at
    times and looked dangerous at several times during the match, Cantona
    nearly scoring on five minutes and Woods really had to stretch for the
    ball when Boli had an excellent chance later.
    
    It was a good games, all in all, and although the French looked
    dangerous, IMO England always looked like winning.
    
    Greg....

    re: -1
    
    Yup...
    
    First time France has lost in 3 years!!
    
    But it'll be the game in Sweden that really counts.
    
    -Dom

Last night's 2-0 win was merited on the run of play. France had a couple of
near misses, but even the one's that sneaked past the post, would have been
reached by Woods, had they been on target. In return England had two one-to-one
situations that were not converted.

I thought that some of the new lads had excellent games. 

Shearer was in just the right position to score the first and virtually made
the second goal. In addition, he always looked sharp.

Clough played very intelligently. He made some excellent passes and his 
first time shot was instrumental in the scoring of the 2nd goal.

The Boy Jones also made a very good impression at full back. Hard to 
believe he was in the 4th division not long ago.

The defence looked a bit shaky at times in the first half, but this was
probably due to a lack of familiarity and things knitted together better
in the second half. 

The only England player to look thoroughly out of it was Hirst, who was
not unnaturally substituted after half-time.

All in all, a promising performance but there's still a long way to go.
The French can play a lot more incisively and they'll certainly have
more urgency in Sweden.

    
    	Glad I was up to my usual standard of predictions...;-)
    
    	England were a little fortunate not to already be a goal down by
    	the time Shearer poached his goal, but we were full value in the
    	second half. Jones was superb - this boy's going to be around for	
    	a long time! Hilarious attempt by Thomas to chip the 'keeper from
    	40 yards when put through on goal by Lineker...8-)
    
    	Clough surprised me. His lack of pace is obvious but he found some
    	useful close touches around the centre-field area and played quite
    	well. Webb had a good game too. Walker/Wright/Keown looked
    	sound-ish, although to be honest the French attack was feeble.
    	Papin and Cantona were billed as some sort of assassin partnership.
    	They'd struggle to shoot their way out of a paper bag..
    
    	All round satisfaction I guess - Platini quite rightly didn't seem 
    	to give a t*ss about the score, so this game simply was a look-see 
    	for both managers.
    
   	With Platt in for Thomas this side looks Ok. The Gurning Idiot has 
    	his work cut out if he thinks he's walking back into the England 
    	side. Goodbye Barnes, Beardsley, McMahon, Robson, Waddle, Dixon,
    	Adams - your time is up.
    
    	Andy.

	Well,
	     I don't know about you lot, but I felt England made
	some bad mistakes last night, and it was only France's
	misfortune which gave England the game..  I felt Des Walker
	was NOT playing up to his full potential, and he frequently
	resorted to late tackling, and shirt pulling in order to
	maintain the chant of 'you'll never beat D..."..  Hirst made
	some appauling passes last night, one which immediately
	springs to mind was back to Woods via a French forward..  I'm	
	sure that was the reason he was sub'ed off at half time..
	Chris Woods had an O.K. game, IMHO, all the mornings papers
	seem to be raving about how good he is... lets hope that remains
	the case when he innevitably makes a few blunders......

	All in all, a fairly entertaining game...  England won and that's	
	really all that should be said, especially playing against France..
	I can't believe France haven't been beaten for something like 
	3 years, wow....., time does fly...   Let's hope that these 'new'
	players settle down into the English International style football
	and also Rugby..  It does seem precariously worrying that so many
	players from these two great sports are retiring, I just hope the
	lower ranks have players of the same calibre coming through..

	I was dissapointed with the crowds at both the Scotland and England
	games, 13k and 58k respectively..  IMHO the English crowd were
	hideously tame, and unnaturally quite, the only noise I seemed to
	hear were a large party of what sounded like school children 
	chanting 'England'...(Obviously being chaperoned by teachers..*8])
	Although, in saying that, there was one occasion that I found the
	crowds antics particularly funny...   In the second half a Frenchie
	started to get a bit pushy, with I think Keown, and the crowd started
	with a rendition of 'Sweet Chariot', memories from Saturday are still
	lingering.....  *8]

				Cheers Al.

	P.S.  Who was the French player that decided to do a Bruce Lee 
	impression on Neil Webb in the second half..  i.e. the ball went
	out of play, the Frenchie thought it was 'his' ball and proceeded
	to leap into Neil Webb who was taking a quick throw-in..

	P.P.S.  Alan Ball in the England camp now ehhh... Christ this England
	camp's bigger than Butlins now.... *8]    IMHO Taylor is just
	surrounding himself with 'yes' men to take the pressure and spotlight
	off himself, not that I saying there is anything wrong with that....

	P.P.P.S.  Jimmy Hill and El' Tel' were truely on form again last night
	it's about time Terry just 'clobbered' the prat, and pick up his OBE
	at Christmas... *8]

    
    I think that there is plenty of room for optimism after last night's
    performance, which goes completely against my bleak prediction - but I
    don't mind being wrong about that ! I was impressed with Shearer in his
    first match, which got better with the introduction of Lineker (I feel
    a bit sorry for Hirst who never really got into the game). Definitely a
    potentially good striking partnership for Sweden there ... The back
    four looked pretty solid too - Wright outstanding, Walker doing his
    normal great job, and Psycho managing to keep his wild challenges at
    bay too ! It was the first time I've seen Rob Jones play, and I was a
    little worried that he might be a bit over-awed, but none of it. I can
    see what the Scousers have been going on about now; he looks very
    promising indeed. Nigel Clough showed great vision in some of his
    passes, is excellent at closing people down at getting the ball back
    when the opposition think they've got away - and typically was in the
    right place for a superb volley which led to the second goal. I just
    *wish* he had an extra yard of pace, that's all his game lacks really ...
    Dom could be right - introduce players like Platt and Gascoigne and
    there's a fair old team on the way ...
    
    I must admit I was a bit surprised by the French performance overall.
    This was an almost full strength side for them (Martini and Sauz�
    excepted), and whilst they did create more chances in the first half,
    they didn't appear to be that bothered that they weren't going in -
    something that they paid for on the stroke of half time. The threat of
    Papin never really materialised - he will rarely get the space he's
    used to in France against English defenders, and as such, chances are
    more likely to be converted by midfield players making use of the space
    he can create for them.
    
    From the French point of view, however silly this may sound, it was a
    good time to lose a game. It was going to happen at some point, and it
    turns out to be in a friendly, well before the Finals. They will now be
    able to go there with their feet back on the ground and without the
    pressure of sustaining a three year unbeaten run. Like I said, it was
    just a friendly, and I imagine that we'll be seeing a totally different
    game when the Euro Finals come around. Having said that, it's quite
    rare for us to have reason to be pleased after an England home
    performance, so I don't care if I appear to have gone a bit overboard
    here !!  8-)
    
    Ads.
    
    PS. Notice, Dom, that I managed to get away with my life ! Good job it
    was only a friendly really !
                   

    
    
    I heard on the radio this morning that the French national NewsPapers
    have gone on strike today. The last time this happened was...yes
    you guessed it, when France lost to Scotland 3 years, the last previous
    defeat. They certainly take it hard :^).
    
    CHris
    
    ps  This was on the Danny Baker Morning show so it probably needs
    	a Frenchman to confirm it.

    
    I couldn't get over that French bloke's attack on Webb - what did he
    think he was playing ? - Rugby.... anyway the result was the same - an
    easy victory for England - I wonder if the French play cricket - we
    could hammer them at that aswell..... :-)
                                                                   
    England could and should have won by a lot more, Thomas proved that he
    hasn't got the brains or skill to play at international level and I
    agree with the noter who said Walker looked poor - he hasn't looked
    that good for Forest for a while now - maybe Earl Barrett of Oldham
    should get a chance - but beside that, everyone else (except Hirst)
    looked comfortable - especially in the second half.
    
    Paul 

    re -1
    
    It is perfectly true that National French Papers are on strike today
    
    Whether there is a link with last night's result, I doubt it since,
    if this were the case, they should have started a one week's strike
    after last Saturday's result (rugby game) :-)
    
    I agree with one of the previous noters that it was high time for that
    French team to come back to the ground and lose one game
    Now they can start another 3 years without any defeat :-)
    
    Philippe
    

    Re .54
    
    We, French, can't definitely play cricket : No chance to fight with the
    opponents :-)
    
    Philippe
    
    PS : Sorry but my previous note should have been re-2

    
    Any chance that everybody contributing to the football notes conference
    can stop mentioning Saturday's England v France rugby union everytime a
    footballer decides to have a rush of blood.
    Its all been dealt with by the Union and it is now over and done with,
    it doesn't help any sport by continually making references to the
    incidents..
    Its bad enough when Des Lynam kept mentioning it last night on
    Sportsnight, and it seemed every interviewer afterwards tried to bring
    it into the conversation.. This coupled with the papers which don't
    usually report Rugby Union is blowing the incident out of all
    proportion..
    
    Gary...

    Gary,
         Are you telling me that you don't think that Shearers goal just
       before half time didn't have the same effect on the French as did
       Webbs great running try just before half time in the Rugby?
    
       :-) :-)
    
    -Dom

    
    
    Dear Mr Lowe 
    
    Perhaps you should buy a quality Newspaper in the mornings as
    the SUN the Star and Escort Magazine,which I know you have 
    delivered every day or when available, never have covered the
    Union much.
    
    Anon  

    
    Shearer was good. Clough was good but he needs another decent 
    midfielder in there with him to allow him to do the thinking.
    
    I didn't think Jones was up to all that to be honest. Lineker
    showed them all how to do it. 
    
    Stuart Pearce was as usual "SUPERB".
    
    JN.

    
    re. 59 
    
    They don't cover anything very much !!
    
    re .58
    
    Quite a spooky comparison, both scores swung the game England's way..
    
    Gary..
    
    PS. It was mentioned last night that Thomas hadn't scored for England
        before, but, I'm sure he has scored one. Can anybody confirm either
        way ??

Re .61

I don't know whether Thomas has scored for England or not, but on the
evidence of last night's effort when faced with only the goalie, he
probably never will again.

How much a week do these guys get paid for their footballing "skills" ?

    Well...
    
    To be honest I thought the game was boring most of the time. On one
    side you had a French team with nice passing, good build-up and then...
    nothing. Only a couple shots and no clear chance. Amoros and Simba (hit
    the post, remember?) had the best opportunities and, yes, Cantona after
    5 minutes (French commentators are positive Des Walker handled the ball
    ah ah).
    
    I was pleasantly surprised by the English side, even more so when Mr.
    Lineker came in. Sheer class, as always. In my opinion, better than
    Papin.
    
    Well, as the other noter said, better to loose now than in June of
    course. Mind you, with a couple of good saves on both goals (we did
    have the sub keeper) and a little more precision by Amoros and Simba it
    could have been 2:0 to France. So, no panic for France and no
    over-confidence for the English I would say. After all, it's only
    natural that England should win at Wembley, eh?
    
    Oh, and, I have to admit, Cantona was useless. Always playing
    backwards, lost the leather once too often with silly backheel passes
    which nobody understood, even himself I'm sure. Come on �ric, we know
    you can do much better. We also missed the wingers (Vahirua and
    Cocard). No wingers, no chances, that's the basis of football.
    
    Cheers
    Well done lads
    �JF?

    ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!..............
    
    [Special effects:  The sound of lightning crashing, thunder 
    cracking and the wailing of an eternity (well, at the very least a 
    couple of million Scotsmen) of tormented souls...]
    
    Coming to a screen near you soon....
    
    The return of.....
    
    A Graham Taylor production....
    
       E N G L A N D  -  T H E  S E M I - F I N A L  P A R T  I I. 
    
    ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!..............
    
    [Special effects:  The sound of lightning crashing, thunder 
    cracking and the wailing of an eternity (well, at the very least a 
    couple of million Scotsmen) of tormented souls...]
    
    Following England's impressive second-half performance against 
    France, the pre-tournament favourites for the forthcoming European 
    Championships, the Albanian and Outer Mongolian consulates have 
    been inundated with queries from distraught Scotsmen requesting 
    immigration details.  Apparently when asked if they are interested 
    in any particular part of the country, the general reply has been, 
    "Ah dinnae care, so long as it's a thewsand miles from the nearest 
    English get!"  (Note: It has to be realised that this is a general 
    purpose token of affection widely voiced to the north of Hadrian's 
    Wall).
    
    Not only that, but it is understood that hardware stores all over 
    Scotland are fast running out of 12 foot lengths of stout rope. 
    
    Also, bookshops across the country have reputedly run out of 
    copies of, "A 1001 Scottish Football Excuses".  First published in 
    1966 and now in it's 597 re-print, this classic work of 
    literature, which is required reading in all Scottish schools, 
    contains such gems as:
    
    	 "At least we know we're rubbish, you arrogant $�@!*s!"
    	 "You English $%�!&*s are so arrogant, you always think you've 
    	 got a good team."
    	 "%&�$@?!*s did you win the World Cup in '66, the %$�&*@g refs      
    	 gave it to you!  And you were playing at home!"  
    	 "Bonnie Scotland, Bonnie Scotland, we'll support you ever 
    	 more."
    
    Mike M
    
    P.S. Just a joke, boys.  Honest.

	Well, Mike what can I say... Absolutely BRILLIANT!!!
	( It could only come from a gunner :-)))) )


	Mick

My vote for note of the year.

    re.64 This has brightened up a bad Friday.

    Must be a bad Friday Dennis, how come you`re not in Ollie's
    already?
    
    Tony