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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:	The Joy of Lex
Notice:	A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:	THEBAY::SYSTEM

Created:	Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:	Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	1192
Total number of notes:	42769

769.0. "Elvis' Ghost Saving English, Says UFO Expert" by SHALOT::ANDERSON (Give me a U, give me a T...) Mon Jan 22 1990 21:43

	Here's what the Weekly World News is doing to save the English
	language.  This ad was right next to "Baldy Tries to Shoot Hair 
	Clinic Boss" and "Typhoid Mary Served Death on a Platter," along 
	with ads for "Startling Psychic Prophecies" and "Your Debt 
	Problems Are Over!"  Enjoy,

		-- Cliff



		HOW TO AVOID THESE MISTAKES IN ENGLISH

	    Amazing Book Corrects English Errors in Minutes

Many persons use the expression "You should lay down", or "You haven't drank
coffee today".  Still others use the expression "between you and I" instead of
"between you and me".  Few know whether to spell certain words with one or two
"t's" or "r's".  Other fail to use commas and other punctuation marks to make
their meaning clear.

Mistakes in English can cause you embarrassment, hold you back socially and on
the job.  It can make you look awkward and hide your true intellect.

A new book [mumble mumble] can protect you from possible mistakes in English. 
This book emphasizes the most common mistakes in grammar, spelling, punctuation
and pronunciation that commonly cause trouble and embarrassment.

Here are a few things this book can do for you:

Perfect Grammar: About 25 errors in grammar make up virtually all everyday
mistakes in English.  This book emphasizes the most common errors in grammar
and gives you simple rules to make sure you never make these mistakes.  Proper
grammar is essential to expressing your ideas clearly and effectively in
writing and speaking.

Perfect Spelling: About 174 words are commonly misspelled.  This book
emphasizes the most frequently misspelled words.  It shows you the proper
spelling for these troublesome words and gives you simple rules to eliminate
future spelling mistakes once and for all.

Perfect Punctuation: About 97 words are commonly mispronounced or misused. 
This book emphasizes frequently mispronounced and misused words.  It gives you
simple rules to make sure you never makes in pronunciation, use, or diction. 
Having command of the English language instills self confidence and the respect
of others.

This book is being made available for only ...



	P.S.  I'd love to order this, but don't feel like blowing $10.
	Any volunteers?

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
769.1	What comes around?	LESCOM::KALLIS	Efts have feelings, too.	`Mon Jan 22 1990 22:43`	14
	Re .0: Fascinating! The reason I say so is that when I was growing up, I used to see in some of the pulp magazines I read in those days, a very similar ad. This was from the "Cody Institute," or some such, run by a Mr. Cody, said to be a brother of the famous Buffalo Bill Cody. The man pictured looked old, and wore a sgort goatee, looking a little like the legendary Buffalo hunter. I wonder .... Steve Kallis, Jr.
769.2	Rule #1: Use of "about"	COOKIE::DEVINE	Bob Devine, CXN	`Tue Jan 23 1990 01:24`	14
	> HOW TO AVOID THESE MISTAKES IN ENGLISH > Perfect Grammar: About 25 errors in grammar make up virtually all > Perfect Spelling: About 174 words are commonly misspelled. This book > Perfect Punctuation: About 97 words are commonly mispronounced or misused. I would say that there are about 3 errors (or is it "3 about errors"?) in the books description. The writer should have simply used the absolute numbers (25, 174, and 97) without the "about" unless the book really does not include exactly those numbers of errors or words. Save your $10.
769.3	self-referential paragraph	ERICG::ERICG	Eric Goldstein	`Tue Jan 23 1990 07:25`	5
	> Perfect Punctuation: About 97 words are commonly mispronounced or misused. > This book emphasizes frequently mispronounced and misused words. This paragraph misuses the word "punctuation", which is unrelated to correct (or incorrect, for that matter) pronunciation and usage.
769.4	Use correct English while on the job!	VOGON::BALL	Smiley face free zone :-)	`Wed Jan 24 1990 19:48`	13
	Re .0 > Mistakes in English can cause you embarrassment, hold you back socially and on > the job. By that stage, I doubt if mistakes in your English are the first thing on your partner's mind! Is this phrase only a double-entendre (sp?) in British English or does it mean the same in American too? It's very difficult in the UK to discuss `on the job learning' without at least the occaisional snigger. Jon
769.5		SSDEVO::EGGERS	Anybody can fly with an engine.	`Wed Jan 24 1990 21:51`	4
	Hmmm. I hadn't heard "on the job" used with that meaning before. However, in the US it would be very difficult to discuss anything with the author of .4 without at least the occasional snigger.
769.6	That reminds me	WELMTS::HILL	Technology is my Vorpal sword	`Thu Jan 25 1990 10:20`	6
	Sir Thomas Beecham, a famous British maestro, asked the new leader of an orchestra he was rehearsing his name. "Ball" "How very singular" said Sir Thomas.
769.7		ULYSSE::LIRON		`Thu Jan 25 1990 12:57`	1
	Thank you, Nick. Makes my day !
769.8	Another Beecham story	WELMTS::HILL	Technology is my Vorpal sword	`Fri Jan 26 1990 09:30`	19
	Re .6 if you liked that one, here's another.... Sir Thomas was a fanatical horse-racing fan, and found himself one morning rehearsing a concert in Portsmouth, not far from Goodwood Race Course, during Goodwood Week. Time was pressing, he wanted to get to Goodwood, and there was just one item left to rehearse. "Oh well, that's it then, we all know this piece, don't we?" he said. To everyone's surprise the leader of the orchestra said he'd never played it. Sir Thomas considered a moment and then said, "Not to worry, I'm sure you'll pick it up as we play it tonight. Good-bye!"