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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

653.0. "radio announcer gaffes" by VINO::MCGLINCHEY (Sancho! My Armor! My TECO Macros!) Wed Apr 12 1989 15:13

    
    	Heard on Morning Pro Musica (morning classical program on
    	Public Radio in New England) this morning:
    
    	What he meant to say:
    
    		"That was an lovely piece played by two viols"
    
    	What he said:
    
    		"That was a pretty viol piece."
    
    	What it sounded like:
    
    		"That was a pretty vile piece."
    
    	-- Glinch
    	
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
653.1Same frequency too, I thinkIOSG::CARLINDick Carlin IOSGFri Apr 14 1989 19:1218
    Ah, that brings back fond memories of my time in the States. Boston
    public radio (WBCN was it?) was a pretty good substitute for BBC radio
    3. I remember that one of the sponsors was Krakus and Atalanta Polish
    hams. Apparantly someone who listened in thought it was all one ham and
    asked for information about Krakusanatalanta.
    
    Do they still have that announcer who always delimited his words
    completely differently to us lesser mortals, eg:
    
    "We will now hear a picc    oloconcerto written by Viv      aldiwhen he
    waso      nly seventeen".
    
    Missing the White Mountains
    
    Dick
    
    
    nly 
653.2EAGLE1::EGGERSSoaring to new heightsFri Apr 14 1989 21:134
    Re: .1
    
    Yes. It's the same guy who speaks so slowly you wonder if he will live
    long enough to get the next word out. 
653.3ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBMT::BOWERSCount Zero InterruptFri Apr 14 1989 21:495
    If you mean good ol' Robert J. - I swear I've heard him snore between
    syllables!
    
    -dave
    
653.4MRED::DONHAMI'll see it when I believe it.Fri Apr 14 1989 22:187
Robert J. was the emcee for Paul Winter's last show in Boston. He 
rushed through the introduction, blurting out sentence after sentence
with hardly a breath. At the end, he smiled, gnomelike, at the crowd 
and paused: "I'll bet...you thought...I...couldn't...do...that."

Perry
653.5in re .4 I'm in hystericsWMOIS::B_REINKEIf you are a dreamer, come in..Mon Apr 17 1989 06:0713
    Many years ago, I recall imagining with a friend how Robert J
    would announce the end of the world....
    
    It went somthing on the lines of...
    
    The world.........ended..........today, at..........2pm...
    
    and now.....a .......new record of a .....vivaldi......
    
    
    etc etc
    
    Bonnie
653.6Imagine a Robert J phone-in!IOSG::CARLINDick Carlin IOSGMon Apr 17 1989 14:4012
    > Many years ago, I recall imagining with a friend how Robert J
    > would announce the end of the world....
    
    Glad to hear he's still going strong.
    
    For the record, what does the J stand for?
    
    Or is that a characteric he inherited from his parents, and that's as
    far as they got at his christening when the vicar asked them "how do
    you name this child"?
    
    Dick
653.7EAGLE1::EGGERSSoaring to new heightsTue Apr 18 1989 02:003
    I suspect the "J" stand for Jeremiah or perhaps something longer. He
    always abbreviates so he has a chance to get to his last name on
    occasion. 
653.8PSTJTT::TABERIt offends my freakin' dignityTue Apr 18 1989 14:5519
It never really bothered me that Robert J Lurtsema (sp?) speaks in little
bursts -- after all, Paul Harvey has made  a fortune off that -- what I love
most is that he gets so many things wrong, and that he's completely unself-
consious about correcting himself.

"Good morning, it's Wednesday on Morning Pro Musica....no, I think it may
be Tuesday.  We definately were playing Tuesday's theme music. We'll go with
Tuesday.  It's Tuesday on Morning Pro Musica..."

All completely without hype.  He doesn't pretend.  He screws up then reasons
it out over the air and finally corrects himself.  He's also good at mis-cueing
records.  He'll announce one thing and play another and it's a 50/50 shot
play it through and announce the error or if he'll hear the first note and lift
the needle saying, "That was supposed to be the Concerto in D -- obviously
the opening was in A..." and re-cue.

I'm only sorry that I get up too early to listen to him these days.  I miss
those birds...
					>>>==>PStJTT
653.9RJL in CTCAM::MAZURThank you, thank you, Sam I amTue Apr 18 1989 16:148
    I live in Connecticut and I pick up Robert J. on an Amherst, Mass
    station.  I guess he's syndicated over public radio stations.
    On the way to day-care my three year old son gets a kick out of the 
    birds.  The first time he heard them, he thought they were inside the 
    car.
    
    I find it interesting that Robert J Lurtsema(sp) has such a following.
    
653.10Not everyone loves Mr. LurtsemaBLAS03::FORBESBill Forbes - LDP EngrngWed Apr 19 1989 21:2311
    Re: <<< Note 653.9 by CAM::MAZUR "Thank you, thank you, Sam I am" >>>

>   I find it interesting that Robert J Lurtsema(sp) has such a following.

    Then, of course, there are the often silent legions (myself included)
    who find his affectations, pretentions, and on-air displays of lust
    for long-suffering Jean Redpath to be...how shall I say it...
    

    
                    EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! Barf me out!!
653.11OUCH!YARD::PREECEJust a shallow hole, Moriarty.Mon Apr 24 1989 11:239
    
    
    Your sympathy, please, for the announcer on the BBC (British
    Broadcasting Corporation. for our overseas readers), who solemnly
    intoned, in his best deep brown tones, 
    
    "Good Evening. This is the British Broadcorping Castration"
    
    Ian
653.12Not the 9 o'clock newsKAOFS::S_BROOKHere today and here again tomorrowMon Apr 24 1989 19:2214
    There are a number of audio skits of BBC World Service announcers
    which rise in peoples' tape libraries from time to time ....
    
    A couple stick in my mind ... the first is a scrambled news broadcast
    introduced as follows ...
    
    "BBC World Service.  The news, read by President Hassan al Baquat
    of Iraq ....."
    
    And another on how to get along with your neighbours ...
    
    "We would like to remind World Service listeners in hot climates
    not to listen to the radio with their windows open.  This may cause
    considerable annoyance to your neighbours. ....."
653.13From the den of ArchivorusIOSG::CARLINDick Carlin IOSGTue Apr 25 1989 14:0311
    Not so much a gaffe but admirable resourcefulness on the part of a BBC
    announcer about 20 years ago. At the end of broadcast the National
    Anthem began, but after a few seconds it started alternately speeding
    up like a chipmunks record and slowing down to a gravelly growl. The
    whole piece got played, after which the announcer calmly stated that the
    tape had broken and he had been pulling it through by hand.
    
    Needs must when tradition dictates.
    
    Dick
    
653.14Romeo & JulietKAOO01::LAPLANTENot the Northern MagusTue Apr 25 1989 14:4910
    My favourite, which is a classic, occurred in the US.
    
    _Chock Full o Nuts_, a brand of coffee, sponsored a series of drama
    broadcasts some years ago. Following a presentation of _Romeo &
    Juliet_ came the following announcement:
    
    'And so ends another virgin of a famous love story. Brought to you
    by Jock Full of Nuts'
    
    Roger
653.15WordsoundsruntogetherEVETPU::CANTORThis is not all rock and roll, dude.Wed Apr 26 1989 07:329
(In my own words, as I remember it from one of Kermit Shaffer's blooper
records):

Radio announcer (talking very fast, in his best big-city radio disk
jockey voice):   "And now I'm not gonna tell you who sings this next
song, but I can tell you that she's got two of the biggest hits in the
country."

Dave C.
653.16"look" + "peek", presumably...BLAS03::FORBESBill Forbes - LDP EngrngThu May 04 1989 20:564
    "...And now it's time for the weather report. Let's take a leak out
    the window and see if it's freezing..."
    
    Bill
653.17VOGON::JOHNSTONMon May 08 1989 20:459
Or what about Brian Johnstone, the BBC (TV) cricket commentator announcing
thenew line up after a batsman had come on:

"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's willy"...

Crazy, but true.

Ian (no relation)
653.18KAOFS::S_BROOKHere today and here again tomorrowTue May 09 1989 17:452
    Sounds like a new attempt at the who's on first routine to me!
    
653.19?EAGLE1::EGGERSAnybody can fly with an engine.Wed May 10 1989 04:281
    what
653.20CHEFS::KARVEShantanu Karve @REO (7)-830-4478 Wed May 31 1989 13:006
    And a football classic :
                       
    "For those of you watching in black and white, Liverpool are the
    ones in red shirts"
        
    -S 
653.21...and...IOSG::LAWMMathew Law (only *one* T), Reading UKWed May 31 1989 14:518
    Must have been the same commentator who said in a snooker match:
    
    "For those of you watching in black and white, the blue ball is the one
    next to the brown..."
    
    Mat.
    *:o)
    
653.22GAVEL::PCLX31::satowgavel::satow or @msoFri Jun 04 1993 12:296
One of the earlier notes (.8) mentioned Paul Harvey.  At lunch today, I 
happened to be listening to him; he said

	Now listen VERY slowly; I'm only going to say this once.

Clay
653.23AUSSIE::WHORLOWBushies do it for FREE!Mon Jun 07 1993 22:0411
    G'day,
    
     Not an announcer's gaffe... but in similar vein...
    
    
    
    Listen carefully, I have been told not to repeat this.....
    
    
    derek
    
653.24JIT081::DIAMONDPardon me? Or must I be a criminal?Tue Jun 08 1993 02:471
    Pardon?
653.25KAOFS::S_BROOKI just passed myself going in the other direction!Fri Jul 16 1993 12:453
    .22 I can understand the gaffe ...
    
    .23 Sounds like a kidnapping call ... what've you been up to ???? :-)
653.26Kidnap... not me, I only catnap!AUSSIE::WHORLOWBushies do it for FREE!Mon Jul 19 1993 19:3412
    G'day,
     re .23...
    
    more associated with two house(insert favourite selection from wife |
    husband here) talking over a fence about someone who lives in te
    street...
    
    
    ;-)
    
    
    derek
653.27BARSTR::PCLX31::satowgavel::satow, dtn 223-2584Thu Aug 19 1993 06:494
	"Doctors are deciding whether to separate a pair of Siamese twins 
	 from Chicago"

Clay
653.28Dying can really get you downGAVEL::PCLX31::satowgavel::satow, dtn 223-2584Fri Sep 24 1993 09:087
Reporting on a woman who abandoned her two children, one only a few weeks 
old, a Boston radio station quoted a policeman who said:

	She may have been suffering from post-mortem depression


Clay
653.29Nobbut justFORTY2::KNOWLESDECspell snot awl ewe kneedMon Sep 27 1993 07:368
    In a BBC Radio 4 report last week, mentioning the possibility that the
    UK might exercise an effective veto in a European forum that required
    unanimity by simply not attending (the `empty chair policy'),  a
    reporter nearly said `the empty chair is on the table'. He just saved
    himself from a certain VOGONball, but I just thought I'd mention it
    anyway.
    
    b