Conference thebay::joyoflex

    I think it's clearer than 'Yes' or 'No', since it refers back more
    directly to the question; "Yes, I do have some Coffee".
    
    Richard.

    
    But wouldn't the `correct' answer still be "I have"?
    
    Mat.
    *:o)
    

    Re: .2
       
    My thoughts exactly!!
    
    Although if you watch, good old American T.V shows or Movies, they
    too reply, "I do"..
    
    It was explained to me that Americans generally prefix a question
    with, "Do you have ....."? They therefore expect to reply with,
    "I do".....      Still makes no sense to me, here in Sunny Hampshire,
    England.
    
    Ray. 

    .3 has it exactly!  An American, upon hearing the query "Have you
    any...?" translates it into 'Murcan "Do you have any...?" and then
    answers the translated question "Yes, I do."
    
    C'est tr�s simple, n'est-ce pas?

    -dave 

    This whole discussion reminds me of a joke (of sorts, depending on
    your state of mind), to wit:
    
             Bertrand Russell's Account of His First Acquaintance
                             with His Friend Moore
    
    "I had gone to call upon Moore and found him sitting in a chair with
    a small basket of apples in his lap. I said to him, 'Moore, do you
    have some apples?', to which he replied, 'No, I do not.'
    
    "Naturally, I was perplexed, but upon reflection realized my error and
    said, 'Moore, do you have ANY apples?', but again he replied that he
    did not.
    
    "At that point, I was truly distraught. I pondered for several minutes
    before finding the answer. When it struck me, I asked triumphantly,
    'Moore! Do you have APPLES?!', to which he replied enthusiastically,
    'Yes! I DO have apples!', and we've been fast friends ever since."
    
    My memory banks contain no information about the origin of this
    story. Does anyone out there recognize it?
    
    Bill

    This was in the days before t.v., you understand.
    
    Richard.

>    Why do Americans, when asked, "Have you any Coffee"?
>    
>    Reply, "I do"?

I don't know.  Most Americans I know would answer "Yeah" or "What's it to ya?"
depending on what part of the country they came from.

(Although some of them would react to the manner of asking with "Go fish.")

					>>>==>PStJTT

    RE: 646.7
    
    Is "Go Fish" some local American Colloquialism for a rebuff??
    
    

Re: .8

Sometimes it is.  

Aspreviously mentioned, in America we typically ask "Do you have any..."
the only exception is a children's card game called "Fish"  where there is a 
stylized dialog to the play.  E.g. one player asks "Fish, fish, have you any 
sevens?" and if the other player has sevens in his hand, he gives them to the 
person who asked.  If he has no sevens, then the answer is "Go fish." and the 
first person must then "fish" through the deck until he finds a seven.

Probably because we learn it when we're young, and it's the only time we
hear "Have you any..." it trips a response.

					>>>==>PStJTT

Contrary to .9 (though that is probably the proper explanation of "Go
Fish"), there is another stylized response to "Have you any ...?", and
that is "Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full."  

"Have you any coffee?"
"Yessir, yessir, three pots full."

"Have you any time?"
"Yessir, yessir, three hours full."

"Have you any quarters?"
"Go fish."

Dave C.

    re .5
    
    My understanding is that the story was a complete fabrication - the
    work of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore on their "beyond the fringe" lp.
    Since that was made in the mid 60's I suppose it really dates me.
    
    Horror of horrors, am I a B*BY B**M*R ?
    
    Dick

    I am an American, and yes, I am guilty!!!!!   Indeed, if you were
    to ask me, "have you any coffee?", I would reply, " yes, I do."
    I had not realized the pain and suffering I and my compatriots
    were afflicting upon you by this inexcusable practice.  I have spoken
    to everyone here at the Georgia site , and our shame is boundless!
    Upon completing this note, I and the other 700 guilty Americans
    here will remove to the parking lot (Oh gosh < I've done it again...
    Please sir, carpark)  where we will commit ritual dudley.   I hope
    this in some way recompenses you for the exquisite agonies you must
    have suffered each time one of us said "I do."  And that you may
    find it in your heart to forgive us before the ICBM I am now triggering
    reaches your location.
                              

    > commit ritual dudley
    
    If that means watching endless videos of Mr. Moore, then please stop
    at once!  Even your worst British enemies would not wish you to go
    that way.
    
    By the way, which Georgia is that?  The one in the news, or the one
    where the peanuts come from?
    
    Jeff.

    RE: 646.13
    
    You are forgiven!
    
    Ray.

    Too late to kiss and make up now, we have dudleyed!

    re .5 and .11 - My understanding is that the sketch was by Jonathan
    Miller - same show. In fact he laid claim to it and repeated it
    only a week or so ago in a tv interview.
    
    And talking about apples - I was delighted recently to learn of
    a variety of apple called DECIO. Apparently its been around since
    roman times, or for those apples with a postscript printer I suppose
    that should be times roman.
    
    jim
    
    ps johnathon's a kind of apple as well isnt it?

	Well, I don't know about you all, but where I come from, on hearing
"Have you any coffee?" would smile at the quaitness and reply, "Wah, shore!"