Conference thebay::joyoflex

    If harmony
    is what
    you crave,
    then get
    a tuba.
    Burma Shave

    Around the curve
    lickety split.
    A beautiful car
    wasn't it?
    Burma Shave

    Close she was
    Gave a grin
    So well shaven
    Was his skin
    Face so smooth
    Scented nicely
    Original
    Or somewhat spicely
    Burma Shave

\  Don't stick your elbow
   Out too far
   It may go home
   In another car
   Burma Shave

    The safest rule
    No ifs or buts
    Is drive like
    everyone else
    is nuts!
    Burma Shave

    His skin was smooth
    And cool as ice,
    And, oh Louise,
    He smelled so nice
    Burma Shave

    Listen birds,
    Now don't get funny.
    Don't you know
    These signs cost money?
    Burma Shave
               
    There have been several books published (none of which I know the
    names) about Burma Shave signs. These were the ancient (and cleaner)
    ancestors to today's volumes of dirty jokes/limericks.
    
    For those old enough to remember (over 40? over 50?), the Burma
    Shave signs were spaced 50-100 feet apart on rural highways
    (pre-interstate), and revealed one line at a time as you sedately
    drove along. Parents loved them - at least mine did - because they
    kept the kids occupied.
    
    Ah, nostalgia!
    
    -bs
     

    Re .7 (bs):
    
    > ..... Parents loved them - at least mine did - because they
    kept the kids occupied.
                 
    Burma Shave signs, by their very nature, also helped minimize the
    potential for "highway hypnosis."  They were a momentary attention
    grabber, thus breaking any soporific effects of continual  driving.
    
    I miss them.
    
    She sped around the curve
    At 80 miles per
    They picked up the pieces
    Of what had Ben Hur.
    Burma Shave
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    We still had a few of them around Montana as late as the 60's, so
    I can remember them and I'm not even 40 yet. 
    
    Unfortunately I can't remember any of the verses. 
    
    --bonnie

    From a cartoon in _American_Scientist_, drawn by Sidney Harris:
    
    Space is big.
    Space is dark.
    It's hard to find
    A place to park.
    Burma Shave.
    
    The picture showed the two astronauts in a spaceship, looking out
    at a row of asteroids with the signs on them.
    
    	- Win
    

    How about some explanation for those of us not in the US?
    
    Rod

    Re .11 (Rod):
    
    A few generations ago, many of the highways and other roads in the
    U.S. were _not_ limited-access roads.  In many cases, these roads
    would be festooned by advertising signs (billboards) listing all
    kinds of things to buy -- home appliances being very popular for
    a while.  Particularly along country roads, advertisers took advantage
    of available scenery -- thus, a farmer might have a new paint job
    for his barn _if_ as part of that, the roof could be made into ad
    advertising sign for some product, such as Bull Durham tobacco.
    
    The Burma-Shave people, who produce a shaving-cream product packaged
    in a tube similar to those used to hold toothpaste, made a deal
    to rent "space" along the fences of some farmers, which were posts
    with wire fencing strung between them.  On the fenceposts, small
    signs, perhaps four feet wide, would be erected, each with a part
    of the whole advertising message for Burma Shave.  The messages
    would be short and humorous.  You's see the signs one at a time,
    like:
    			[If harmony]
    
    			[Is what you crave]
    
    			[Get a tuba]
    
    			[Burma Shave]
    
    They were spaced far enough apaer so you could not read the upcoming
    sign until you'd passed the previous one.  Children often used to read
    these aloud as their parents drove along.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr. 

    The Burma Shave signs are one form of advertising I've never heard a
    complaint about, except, perhaps, that there weren't enough of them.
    The farmers took pride in having a set along their road-side fence. If
    the signs were damaged in some way, the farmers would frequently go out
    and fix them up without waiting for the Burma Shave repair crew. 
    
    There were one or two repair crews that spent the whole summer going
    around the US to install new signs, fix old ones, and occasionally take
    down a set (usually over the farmer's objections).

    Very few other companies used that form of advertising, and none used
    it widely. I have seen a few cheap imitations.

    Past
    Schoolhouses
    Take it slow
    Let the little
    Shavers grow
    Burma Shave

    The beared devil
    Is forced to dwell
    In the only place
    Where they
    Don't sell
    Burma Shave

    There were always six signs. It's sometimes a bit hard
    to remember just how the text was divided across them. 

    Re .12: thanks, the sort of answer I was hoping for.
    
    It sounds like advertising for long straight roads - so not many
    suitable sites in Britain; I've never heard of that kind of advertising
    here. I take it that Burma Shave no longer advertises like this? And
    what does "limited-access" mean in this context?
    
    Rod 

    re .16 (Rod):
    
    > .... I take it that Burma Shave no longer advertises like this? And
    >what does "limited-access" mean in this context?
     
    In the United States, there are major highways that cars only can
    access via a feeder or cloverleaf -- that is, the roads have _no_
    traffic signals and _no_ intersections.  These roads are, essentially,
    part of the United States' Federal Highway System (most roads are
    Interstate <number>).  By law, no advertising signs can be situated
    on these roads; hence, no Burma Shave signs.
    
    I don't know whether Burma AShave even _exists_; whether so or not,
    any surviving signs ought to be xconsidered Historic Landmarks and
    be preservbed in perpetuity.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.     
    

    Steve,
    
    My mother has a charming little book called "the signs by the side
    of the road" which chronicles the Burma Shave story. According to
    the book there are no more signs left by any roads in the US.
    
    I read it quickly this summer, and now I wish I'd memorized some
    of the jingles.
    
    Bonnie
    
    who remembers seeing Burma Shave signs onces as a child.

    I have the "Verse by the Side of the Road". It has the complete 600
    some odd verses. I have resisted opening it to enter any in this topic
    so far. Memory is more fun.
    
    Burma Shave took all the signs down for some reason I don't remember.
    I'll look it up this evening, and enter a few more verses. 

    Even as a kid (many years ago!) in Australia I knew of the Burma
    Shave signs in USA. They were pretty famous. I gather there were
    a few weak attempts (in USA) to copy that style, but nobody was
    as organised as the Burma Shave people. By the time I visited first,
    they had all gone. Nostalgia for the really good old (innocent)
    days gone by.........               Regards..............Guy

    I looked in the book for the demise of the signs. There were several
    reasons: declining sales; the company was sold to Philip Morris, Inc.
    on 7 Feb 1963; a sign ban on interstate highways; and the economies of
    sign manufacturing and maintenance. 
    
    The Smithsonian asked for a set of signs and received:
    
    Within this vale
    Of toil
    And sin
    Your head grows bald
    But not your chin
    Burma Shave

    The U.S. Navy asked for a set to plant at McMurdo Sound. The choice?
    
    Many a forest
    Used to stand
    Where a
    Lighted match
    Got out of hand
    Burma Shave
    
    The book says, " It was characteristic of the luck of the Odells [the
    family that started the company] that photographs of the last
    series--erected in a howling wilderness with a snow tractor in the
    background and five politely interested penguins gracing the
    foreground--were picked up by UPI and distributed to scores of U.S.
    newspapers. Even after allowing for the fact that Burma Shave had
    become a sort of national institution, it was evident that the Odells
    had a knack for unpaid publicity that Barnum would have envied."

    Does your husband
    Misbehave
    Grunt and grumble
    Rant and Rave
    Shoot the brute some
    Burma Shave

    If you want
    A hearty squeeze
    Get our
    Female
    Anti-freeze
    Burma Shave
    
    This one's from 1963. I wonder if it would
    be too sexist for 1988.

    Last weekend I did a trail run at Glenwood Springs, Colorado.
    On these trails runs, there are usually aid stations (water,
    food, first aid, radio communications to Search and Rescue)
    every five or six miles.  Often, the people manning the stations
    post a sign about a quarter mile from the station to let you
    know that you're getting close.
    
    About twenty miles into the run came this series of signs,
    spaced about fifty yards apart:
    
    It be true
    It ain't no jive
    'Bout a quarter mile more
    Be's station #5
    
    I really expected to see one more sign that said "Burma Shave."
    
    Sid

    For some reason this one is burned in my memory from childhood.
    
     Never pass
     On a Slope
     Unless you
     Have a
     Periscope
     Berma Shave
    

    Doesn't it seem as though modern advertisers are trying to mimic
    this style of advertising via these new "episode" commercials (you
    know, the ones about using the telephone to resolve family problems,
    or how about those touting headache remedies)?  I personally find
    these commercials CAUSE for headaches.  Bring back the Burma Shave
    ads!

    I've enjoyed Burma Shave signs by sight (or memory) for 40+ years. The
    episode telephone commercials ("What's the problem? I can hear too.")
    don't remind me of Burma Shave. Good thing, too. 

    By the time I was 14 years old, I had made three cross-country trips
    by automobile with my parents.  The Burma Shave signs were always
    a welcome diversion.
    
    The closest thing that I've seen lately are some of these
    trailer-mounted advertising signs located near the toll booth on
    the (N.H.) Everett Turnpike.  They try to put up messages about
    seat-belts, DWI, etc. sometimes in a poor attempt at verse.  It's
    just not the same!
    

    The one who
    Drives when
    He's been drinking
    Depends on you
    To do his thinking
    Burma Shave

    Seen while driving (this week) along the Florida turnpike:
    
    Drove too long
    Driver snoozing
    What happened next
    Is not amusing.
    Florida Turnpike
    

    You can't reach 80
    Hale and hearty
    By driving 80
    Home from
    Party
    Burma Shave

The Angel that
Guards You
When you drive
Retires at
65
Burma Shave

    I went to junior hs in Kansas in the late '50s and was grateful
    that no one remembered the only one I could:
    
    A blackened forest
    smolders yet
    because he flipped
    his cigarette
    Burma Shave
    

    Forest fires
    Start from scratch
    So think before
    You toss
    That match
    Burma Shave

    Lettuce suppose
    you know
    your onions
    don't turnip your nose
    this beets 'em all
    Burma Shave
    
    [seen in the November _Smithsonian_]
    >M

    Tempted to try it?
    Follow your hunch
    Be "top banana"
    Not one
    Of the bunch
    Burma-Shave

    
    
    
    I saw the following as a bathroom wall graffity in the dorm I used
    to live in. At that time I had no idea what burma shave signs were.
    This note has been a great enlightment on the verse I saw few years
    ago and somehow stuck in my mind....
       
    
    
    He was tall, dark and handsome
    And had lots of dough
    But his bristles pricked
    So she had to let him go
    Burma shave
    
    - G Sure
    

    A guy
    Who wants
    To middle-aisle it
    Must never scratch
    His little violet
    Burma-Shave
    
    (Don't we have a topic somewhere on verbing nouns?)

    A little late, but still possibly worthwhile...
    
    During my freshman year at college, my girlfriend was having problems
    with her roomate, who was inconsiderate, insufferable, etc.  To help
    cheer her up, I put the following in the personals section of the
    school paper...
    When you're feeling
    Down
    And Gloomy
    Then it's time to
    Shoot your roomie
    Burma-Shave

    The big Blue tube
    
    Is like Louise
    
    You get a thrill
    
    With every squeeze
    
    Burma Shave
    
    
    			- This was my Grandpa's favorite!

This one was between the Lewis and Clark bridges (across the Mississippi and
Missouri Rivers) sometime in the 50's:

	We made our Grandpa
	Look so trim
	The local draftboard's
	After him.
	Burma Shave.

I recognized a couple of the others, too.  The only campaign I've seen that
was even close to this in customer awareness were the Pete's Cafe and Wall
Drugs signs.

Barb