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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

503.0. "Medic alert: fractured terminology" by TLE::SAVAGE (Neil, @Spit Brook) Wed Apr 13 1988 19:22

    Here's a list of humorous definitions for familar scientific and
    medical terms. By separating the descriptions from the terms, you can
    use this as a party game. 

           ARTERY  -- Study of fine painting
           BARIUM  -- What to do if CPR fails
 CAESAREAN SECTION -- Upper class neighborhood in Rome
             COLIC -- The way a sheep herding dog shows affection
	      COMA -- A moribund punctuation mark
	    DILATE -- Live longer
	    FESTER -- Quicker
       G.I. SERIES -- Baseball games played between teams of soldiers
	    GRIPPE -- Carry-on baggage
	 HANG-NAIL -- Something you can put your coat on
     MEDICAL STAFF -- A doctor's walking stick
   MINOR OPERATION -- Coal digging
	    MORBID -- A higher offer
	   NITRATE -- Lower than the day rate
	      NODE -- Was aware of
	   ORGANIC -- Pertaining to a keyboard instrument
	OUTPATIENT -- Victim of a fainting spell
    POST-OPERATIVE -- Letter carrier
	   PROTEIN -- In favor of young people
	 SECRETION -- Hiding something
	  SEROLOGY -- Study of English knighthood
	    TABLET -- Small table
	     TUMOR -- An extra pair
	     URINE -- Opposite of "You're out."
    VARICOSE VEINS -- Veins very near one another
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
503.1CPR?NEARLY::GOODENOUGHJeff Goodenough, IPG Reading UKThu Apr 14 1988 15:363
    I can guess the "resuscitation" bit.
    
    Jeff.
503.2Second greatest life-saveing technique (1st is cold beer)PSTJTT::TABERReach out and whack someoneThu Apr 14 1988 15:555
>                                   -< CPR? >-
>
>    I can guess the "resuscitation" bit.
    
CP = "Cardio-Pulmanary"  i.e, heart massage.
503.3An' I thought it was Critical PathNEARLY::GOODENOUGHJeff Goodenough, IPG Reading UKFri Apr 15 1988 17:0011
    No wonder you abbreviate it - by the time you say it the patient
    would most likely be dead :-).  Of course, only the cardio- bit
    is heart massage - the pulmonary bit refers to artificial ventilation.
    
    We just use "resuscitation" - My first aid book says "If the heart
    has stopped beating, start external chest compression whilst continuing
    to give artificial ventilation.  Together this is known as
    Resuscitation".  Come to think of it, that takes longer to say than
    CPR :-)
    
    Jeff.
503.4I think you're rightVIA::RANDALLback in the notes life againFri Apr 15 1988 18:204
    The Cardio plus the Pulmonary do make the critical path in most
    people!
    
    --bonnie