Conference thebay::joyoflex

 My parents were not going to name me Thomas Richard Speake, they were going
to name me Charles Pike Speake and call me by my first initial, middle name--
		C. Pike Speake.
You don't want to hear all of the rest of the Speake jokes.

	Tom Speake[asy]

My brother-in-law's last name is Gay.   They were considering naming
their 2nd son "Ben".

- dave

A friend of mine knows of a woman named Crystal Shandra Lear.

--- jerry

   Now that many married women are attaching their husband's last
   name to their original last name, the possibilities for strangeness
   are enormous.  Take, for example, the following *true* case:

		Jean Bear married Tom Sleeper and decided to
		hyphenate her new last name...Jean Bear-Sleeper!

I used to work with a guy named Dusty Broom.  No -- really -- I 
did.

MM

No problem, Dave.  After 14 years in DP, I'm quite used to being
called Parodi-error.  But let me warn you against going to work
for DG -- I think they call their linker the Binder...

This is quite a coincidence.  Just yesterday someone asked me whether
there was a name for this sort of word-play on names.  Is there?

JP

P.S.  I wasn't going to mention this, but...  My father (a notorious liar)
      *swears* that he went to school with a woman with a patronymic of
      "Rass" -- and her first name was Ophelia.  But this story is much
      too good to be true.

Not forgetting such names as...

Lorne Greene
Sandy Shaw
Rip Torn
Gale Storm

etc.

Lawrie (as in truck) Hanson

	A friend of mine worked with a girl named Sandy Clause.


	RE: .3

	I know a family (Leer family) who named their daughter Shanda.


	A friend of my mother married a man named Clifford Senior.
	His father was also Clifford Senior, so Cliff was (is) really
	Clifford Senior, Jr.


	The infamous governor Hogg of Texas who named his daughters
	Ima and Ura. 

I went to school with Warren Pease.

In the good old days there was a family of jokes based on the name of
the newspaper reporter: "I'm Brown, from the Sun." It's hard to pun on
a network acronym, though.

Rob

	I guess I'll give this a shot, as long as nobody else get's
	too punchy...

		Do you know that if...



		Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader,

		She would be... Ella Vader     Big groan

			or if

		Yoko Ono married Sony Bono,

		She would be Yoko Ono Bono     Someone gags   

			or if

		May West married Dennis Day,

		She would be May Day           Comedian get's lynched


	ttfn

	-mb_hiding_until_further_notice!

Comedian gets *WHAT*?!?!?

:-)

-- Bill
   "Hang 'em high"

True fact: a DEC employee is named Mary Christmas.

Tangentially:

If Rose Marie married John Philip Sousa, then married Billy Rose,
re-married Sousa, then married Pete Rose, she'd be know as:

"Rose Sousa Rose Sousa Rose..."

					andrew

A friend of mine swears he knows a woman whose parents named her 
Virginia Reel. 

I named my daughter Kara Melissa, and thought nothing of it until my 
mother one day said "She's so sweet, let's call her Kara Mel." (gag)
We don't, of course.

Beck (as in, at your beck and call)

  I enjoy the names which Robert Anton Wilson gives to characters in his
  novels, such as Carol Christmas, and the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, 
  Ped Xing.

  Remember the former ambassador to El Salvador (recently roughed up in
  South Korea), Bob White?  His parents must have had some sense of humor.
  I know of at least one person named Rick Shaw.
  
  What is the pun in Lorne Greene?

       -mg_

There's a person in our group up in Nagog named Rick Shaw. And I used to
work for someone named Bob White (and his predecessor was named John Smith).

--- jerry

In Sewickley, PA  shortly after I moved away, a family moved in by the name of
Kane. Their daughter's name?  Candy

Jack Wickwire

	My best friends name is Holly Johnson, at Crhistmas time she used
	to say her name was Mary. She's engaged to be married to Doug
	Comolli and if she takes his name she'll become

		Holly Comolli!

For a (old) celebrity name:  If Tuesday Weld married Frederick March III -

			She'd be Tuesday March III.


One from reality (I always felt bad for this guy):

			Everhard Crocker

   A girl I went to college with was named Heidi Dowdy.

   A man that works for my father named his daughter Mandy Lynn.  He didn't
realize what they'd done til Dad asked if they thought she was going to be
musical...

tlh

       About 5 years ago, I met a fellow DEC employee named 
       Phyllis Stein.  (I don't know if she's still amongst us). 
       
       --Don

How could everyone forget Major Major Major from Catcha-22?

Tom

   o	My brother's good friend, Duane WOLFE, named his twin daughters:
		GRAYE and TIMBRE

   o	My brother also had a friend named DOUBLE E HILL.

   o	If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, divorced him and
	married Elton John and moved to a western suburb of Boston,
	her bathroom might be Olivia Newton-John Newton John's Newton john.

   o	My wife had a dental patient named OVERBRIDGE HOSSEY...

   o	...and one whose given names were QUEEN ESTHER.

   o	I knew a man who named his first daughter FILADELFIA, because
	his wife was visiting him on the USS Philadelphia when they
	made the kid.

--Mark

Duane Wolfe should be charged with child abuse. Imagine having to go through
life as Timbre Wolfe. And I thought I was a misanthrope....


	Jon

Some friends of mine wanted to name their daughter Frederica Eyre Kaltenthaler. 
The mom's name is also Frederica, so they planned to call the daughter Derrie.
They did (do), but had to drop the middle name.

And my mother had a classmate named Harold Leg.

I was once in a group which put on amateur plays.  One of the members of the
cast was a woman named Olive had married a man named John Pitts.  After awhile
we got used to seeing her listed as Olive Pitts.

I once worked with a fellow who went to school with a fellow named
Sumner Pecker.  I'll let you speculate on his nickname!   Then, according to
my friend, he was listed on the graduation program just ahead of a girl
named Rosalie Insoft.


There's also an old story of an Army recruit whose complete name was
R B Jones.  When he filled out his forms they insisted that he put down his
full name.  After explaining, they added "(only)" after each of the initials.
From then on, all of his military record listed him as Ronly Bonly Jones.

The problems of Ronly Bonly Jones were probably the product of the same
computer systems and clerks that truncated rather than abbreviated my first
name, giving me the unlikely 'nom de USAF': Jose C. Callahan, Jr.

My high school guidance counselor's wife was named

Ima Hoare

Two students at the same school were named:

Harry Bawls
    and
Pat McGroin

There's an old story about a wealthy individual named Hoar who bequeathed
a fairly large sum of money to a university (I heard it was UMass) with the
stipulation that it be used to construct a new women's dormitory.

The problem arose when the administration tried to figure out how to name
the building in memory of the donor....."The Hoar House"?...."Hoar Hall"?....
"The Hoar Residence Building"?....

Hoar was a president of Harvard University.  Most former Harvard presidents
have buildings (classrooms, dorms, etc) named after them.  He does not.

Of course, we all know that the RSX group has been caught funding Covert
activities.

--PSW

    I graduated from Navy OCS with a guy who was commissioned as Ensign
    Commander.  I always hoped he'd make Lieutenant.
    
    	"Hello, I'm Lieutenant Commander."
    	"Yes...LCDR who??"

    =======================================================================
    Back before WWII, Sigmund Rhee worked for LIFE magazine.  He had
    checked into a hotel, and was urgently needed on a fast-breaking
    story.  Unfortunately, he had left his room and gone to the bar.
    A cub reporter finally caught up to him and said, "Ah, sweet
    Mr. Rhee, of LIFE, at last I've found you!"

From an old Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in:


	If Wanda Ventham married Howard Hughes, then divorced him
and married Henry Kissinger, would she be, , er
Wanda Hughes Kissinger now???

    My sister went to school with a black girl named Pearly Gates. As
    I remember she got married at the first opportunity.
    
    				- - -  Karl

    I swear that these are true:
    
    Barb Dwyer is a resident of Downers Grove, IL,
    
    and there was a teacher at a boys' school in Minnesota whose last
    name was Bates, which meant that the students had to call him Master
    Bates.
    
    Roy

    Two people from my past..
    
    R(onald) Soale	(poor soul), and "Here Today..
    
    Guenter Maurer"
    
    Yes, really.
    ...rdp.
    

    I always wondered what sadistic pleasure a high school classmate's
    parents got out of naming their son Cleatus Spitznogle.
    
    -joet  (tomkowitz allegedly means "sleigh bells" in Polish) 

    	My wife's sister Hazel married someone called Shute.
    
    	My mother's name has recently been extended by the French
    authorities. When we moved here you have to submit a lot of paperwork
    for a residence permit. My birth certificate shows her as
    Dorothy Lillian (formerly Stuttard) Monahan. The French copy of
    this onto my "fiche familiale" reads as
    Doroty Lillian Lormerly Stuttard Monahan.
    
    	I was once in a class at school that included a Brian Johnson,
    a Keith Johnson, and a Brian Keith Johnson. The school was very
    old fashioned, and boys were referred by only the surname.
    
    		Dave

    RE: .37  The Dutch bureaucratic (I had 3 goes at spelling that till
    it looked right) process is no less rigorous.  When we took up
    residence in Holland, my wife became Mevr. Goodenough-Hocking. 
    All married women there are legally referred to as <married name>
    <hyphen> <maiden name>.  Also, she spells her middle name "Anne".
    On her birth certificate it is spelled without the final 'e'.  The
    Dutch official registering us almost apoplectically crossed out
    the final 'e' on the form my wife had filled in.
    
    I don't know how married women who prefer to use their unmarried name
    fare in that country.  I guess the system would just about explode.
    
    Jeff.
    
    PS: Anyone thought of emigrating to Iceland?  That should be even
    more fun.

My father-in-law had a doctor named Dr. Phart (pronounced "fart"). He 
was a proctologist.


MartyJ

    Seen on a dentists shingle in Trumbull Connecticut - honest.
    
    Dr. (I've forgotten the first name) Pully

    If you drive up Route 110 from Littleton (Mass) to the 495 turnoff,
    you can stop at the office of Dr. Koff, dentist.

I've also seen a sign for a Dr. Quack.

--PSW

    A physician friend tells of a medical school associate who became
    a phsyciatrist....

    Dr. Strange

    Re: .43
    
    What's a "phsyciatrist"?  It looks _Strange_ to me too! :^)
    

    Then there's the Law firm of Kickham, Kickham and Kickham.

    Do you realize that this note is two years old, and still going?
    
    If Sally Ride, the astronaut, were to get divorced, and her ex-husband
    were to marry my wife (Joy Sloane - her actual name - and assuming
    Joy became divorced or widowed), she would be known as Joy Ride.
    
    BS (my actual initials, and any comments you might care to make
    about it I have heard many times before)
    

    ...Joy to the world
    was a beautiful girl
    but to me Joy meant only sorrow.
    She took me for a ride
    ...sort of a Joy ride...

re:.46
This is a non-sequitur.  Perhaps you mean Dr. Ride's father;
Sally does not use a name from her husband.  If she and her
husband happen to have the same surname, it's coincidence.

And said husband (if she's married) doesn't use her name, or if he 
did, it wouldn't normally be "heritable".

Just flaming a bit.  For practice.
     fred

    Re: .48
    
    You say Sally Ride does not use a name from her husband.  You then
    go on to say "And said husband (if she's married) ..."
    
    Jeff.

    Re: .28 - There is a Smucker Hall at Gettysburg College in
    Pennsylvania. I think it's named after the jelly people who 
    apparently gave the college lots of bread.
    
    And next time you visit a zoo, I bet it has a Reptile House, a
    Bird House, etc.; but the place where they keep the big cats is
    called the Lion House.
    
    Re: .33 - Did her open husband open the Pearly Gates?
    
    BS
    

     At the lunch table a week or so ago, someone was agog over the news
     from musicland that conductor/violinist Pinchas Zuckerman was leaving
     his wife Eugenia in order to marry Tuesday Weld.  (This is supposedly
     true.)  Someone else pointed out that the actress would now be
     Tuesday Zuckerman.
     
     --Mr Topaz 

    My college dormitory was named for a major donor, Forest Akers.
    
    While in college, I was acquainted with a Rich Stiff, who really
    did come from a well-off family.
    
    							Ann B.

   
    I haven't watched it in a while but, several years ago, the TV Show,
    Dynasty, had a character named Kirby who married Jeff Colby.  During
    the time they were married, I never heard her referred to by her
    whole name.......... Kirby Colby.
    
    
    
    Susan

    A college friend, Jennie, married a fellow named Penney a few years
    back.  So now, I send mail to Jennie Penney.


                                                ...diane

    And there was a woman I knew named Bunny Thomas who married
    Ted Bunny. It was very hard being civil the first time I was 
    introduced to her
    
    Denny

My wife's sister married a Garrity.  They are threatening to name their
first son "Vul".

My parents got into the act....my initials form my username.

    My memory is a little vague, but can anyone remember the early days
    of the "Gasoline Alley" newspaper comic strip.  As I recall, Skeezics
    (sp??) married Mr. & Mrs. Clock's daughter, Nina.
    
    (Caution:  This one goes way back into the '40's!)

    I once worked with a Patricia I. Greenway, who then got re-married
    to a Mr. Searle.
    
    Jeff.

I graduated from high school with a very "seasoned"
girl...

April May June

(a little spring in her step)

    My husband is doing business with two brothers who work for
    IBM.  Their names are Brook and Lake Trout.

    Then there's the Mello family...
    
    	who named their daughter Marsha....really!

    There is a zoologist named Lionel Tiger.
    
    ESW

    My wife is related to one E.Z. Million, who once ran for governor
    in Oklahoma.
    
    -John

    My grandmother has a modest supply of nominal anecdotes.  She once
    taught a little girl named Precious Mary Christmas, and knew a family
    with the surname Cat.  There was a father, Tom, and a son, Bob.
    She also knew a family named Pig; the daughter changed her name
    when she grew up -- to Porceau.
    
    A friend of mine once remarked that people with names like that
    could murder their parents and get off with a reprimand.
    
    Earl Wajenberg

      Re .62
      
      And when he's naked, then Lionel Tiger's bare.  Oh my.
      
      Dave C.

    I read an article somewhere about names and their psychological effect
    on the owner.  Several unusual individuals were included in the
    article.
    
    Around the turn of the century, a Dr. Gatewood died; it seems that he
    had no first or middle name.  His parents wanted him to be able to
    choose his own name, and he never did.  His friends knew him as
    "Gatey".
    
    One boy named "Fabian Bruce Skittles" was a terrible behavior problem
    in class: he was continually in fights and raising havoc in the
    school.  A counselor suggested that he was trying to live down the
    sissified implications of his name, and suggested a name change.
    I can't remember what his new name was, but the suggestion worked,
    according to the article.
    
    While in the service, I know a Chief "J" "C" Stone--he had only
    initials, no name.  I also went through OCS with a Samuel Ng
    (pronounced "eng").  While Ng is a fairly common oriental name,
    the computerized pay programs at the time weren't able to cope with
    a two-letter last name.  Sam got his checks as "Samuel Reject".
    
    Some years ago I heard a story about an R B Jones; once again, just
    ititials and no name.  The IRS continually hassled him about supplying
    his full name, and he got tired of explaining it year after year.
    On his income tax, he finally put down "R (only) B (only) Jones".
    Sure enough, his refund check came made out to "Ronly Bonly Jones".

    I went to high school with one Delight Greene.  Really.

I went to flight school with Forrest Brown. (But I always thought of 
forests as green.)  His wife's name was Rose Brown. (But I always 
thought roses were red.)  But they were very colorful people.

					>>==>PStJTT

    
    I've heard of a couple of young ladies named:
    
    	Annette Curtain
    
    	Helen Highwater.
    
    CS

    A very dear friend of mine is named Loyal Fred Ramsey.
    
    Tamzen (whose initials are TLC)

    
    MY DENTIST IS DR. BRINGHEARST. MAKES YOU WONDER ABOUT HIS ABILITY!!
    
    IN THE NAVY IN BASIC TRAINING WE HAD THREE ERIC F. WISE'S IN OUR
    UNIT. WE WERE CALLED BIG WISE, LITTLE WISE, AND OTHER WISE.
    
    
    					E

    
    	There's a DECie you can meet in CARBUFFS or read about in
    WHOAREYOU, note 448, named RICH FINK. I was disapointed to discover
    this because I was in the Army with a fellow named RICH FINK. They
    are unrelated, so it must be true that the world is loaded with
    rich finks.
    
    mar(s)

Years ago I heard about a Decie named Rosie who married a man whose last
name was Dick. I always wondered if she changed her name. (and if so, why?)
A friend from Indiana once lived next door to a gal named Debbie Hebbie. 
His mom worked in an employment agency at one time and saw all sorts of
unusual names including would-you-believe:

			Fanny Shook

It makes me thankful I'm a girl named ...

	Sue  

(My stock-broker father chose my initials "SEL" but couldn't think of a way to 
 make my brother's = "BUY". He should've settled for "BULL" - for more reasons
 than I can _bear_ to tell you!)

    In college I knew a guy studying to be a doctor named, Harry Hamburger.
    
    
    Later, I met a guy named, Prince Holiday.

    I knew someone who was going to name his son Senator.

    I had a classmate in the ROTC named Leonard Sargent.  His father was
    the senior enlisted man on duty in the ROTC program at our college, and
    was, of course, Sgt. Sargent.  The father retired from the Air Force at
    the same time that his son became Lt. Sargent. 

    I had an uncle with the first nome of Artimus and would get upset
    with the nickname Arty (same last name).  a plastic sort of guy!!
    
    I hoped to give my son a head start on life with the first name
    of Benjamin, with the nickname Benny. 
    

    Re: .-1
    
    These puns are really super, Fischel.
        

    
    I went to elementary school with a Penny Nichols, but my all-time
    favorite is one my mom, a legal secretary, told me about.  She came
    home from work one day and said that she had to write a letter to
    a Mr. Peter Grabber.
    
    					red 

    In the Guildford (that's in the UK in case there's another) area
    telephone directory there is an entry for a William Anker.

    ...at least my parents didn't name me Ulysses Roland or Ian Martin
    or something....  I've grown to like my last name very much, but
    as a kid I sometimes had my doubts.

Just saw this last night.   The VP of Programming for TV-station WCVB 
(Channel 5) is Mr Philip La Camera

		Nigel

 (Reproduced without permission from _Wheaton Alumni_, Class News section)
        
    Alma Borinski Mater '60 and her husband Duzzint live in College
    Station TX.  Alma was recently presented the 1986 Mother-of-the-Year
    Award for the state of Texas.  She was nominated by her children
    Wuttsa (Mater) Yu '84, Duzzint, Jr. (18), Myndover (15), Dura (11),
    and Antee (8).
    
 Must've been a dull day at the Alumni Office.

	I'm surprised that neither of these have been mentioned yet, 
but here goes:




	Every day for years I used to pass a firm of solicitors on 
Parnell Sq. in Dublin named `Gore & Grimes'




Even better, there's another firm of solicitors in Cork called......






Argue & Phibbs!

    I once interviewed with a company called Dames & Moore, which I think
    is primarily a naval contractor even though its name suggests a house
    of adult entertainment... 
    
    					Val

    When I was in Vermont, we constantly chuckled over a prominent law
    firm in Middlebury which was Ketcham & Lynch.  There were also two
    heart surgeons who practiced in Burlington who were named Coffin
    and Clapp.
    
    							-Steve

    I once worked for a company which had a customer by the name of 
    Turner & Seymore.  

Reminds me of these:

Laywer firm:   Dewie, Cheetham and Howe

Fraternity:   Tappa Kegga Beer

Another frat:   Iee Felta Thi

    re: .62
    
    I may be mistaken, but didn't Lionel Tiger write a book on animal
    behavior with Robin Fox?

	Back in my home town there was a family named Furey.  Ma and Pa 
Furey named their daughter Helen.  How could they?

    re .90:
    
    So now hell hath no fury like Helen Furey scorned?

    Knew a girl named Helen in college.  She claimed her goal in life
    was to find and marry a man named George Damnation...

    I went to school with a girl called Theresa Green - I never did
    understand at the time why my parents thought that was funny!

    I also knew a guy called Ivor Catt who used to put up a notice at
    work quite regularly, advertising free kittens.
    

Theresa Green ?  Can someone please explain the joke here ?
I'm pronouncing it  Tuh-REES-uh GREEN.  I don't hear the pun.

    Theresa Green - Daffodils are yellow - carrots are orange!
    
    Perhaps it only works in England.....
    
    I used to work with a lady called Jo King who always had people
    coming up and saying "You must be Jo King...."

    Re .95:
    
    >Perhaps it only works in England.....
    
    You're right.
    
    Styeve Kallis, Jr.

    re:.94 Video::osman
    
    Thank you for asking, I was thinking I was the only one who was
    missing the obvious! That will teach us to pronounce something as
    we have always heard it!
    
    Good night "Treesa", where ever you are!

    Re .96 and .97
    
    I guess our pronunciation tends towards the "Treesa".
    
    It reminds me, I used to know a Californian called "Adrienne" (Ady
    to her friends), and it took me a long time to work out why her
    car number was "EIGHTY".

    re: Theresa Green
    
    This may have something to do with the Law of Conservation of R's.
    
    (which is a topic in DELNI::BOSTON)

    My last entry to this note was over a year ago, so it's time for:
    
    I had a teacher in high school whose name was John Sippy.  He was
    divorced.  We always figured that his wife left him because she
    preferred being called Mrs. but couldn't stand it any longer...
    
    Roy

    There is a radio announcer in the Boston area called Justin Case.
    
    							Ann B.

    One of my high-school teachers was named Pearl Jewell.
    
    A gem of a woman. 
    
    --bonnie

    Re: -.1
    
    Bonnie, are you sure you aren't stringing us along?
    
    -bs

    Casting before swine, perhaps.
    
    --bonnie
    

    In my home town in England there was a dentist whose name was 
    Ivor Payne.  
    
    I also knew a woman named Ida whose married name was Downe ... 
    ... OK, so non-(ex-)Brits need an explanation for that one:
    
    Translation of comforter (American English) == Eider Down (British
    English -- included in Webster's New Collegiate).

    I went to grade school with a girl named April May Showers.
    
    She was real sweet...
    

    My brother went to high school with a fellow whose name is Sterling
    Silver.  Silver's nickname at that time was "Spoon."

Did you hear about the midget clairvoyant on the loose ?




If you have trouble reading the punch-line, ask someone more
technical than yourself :-)

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    Back in my hometown there was a 
    Dr. Doctor
    
    and here in Colorado Springs, CO there is a law firm called the
    
    The Murphy Law Firm!
    

    When I was in high school, I had a math teacher, 
    who was also the tennis coach, whose name was
    Peter B. Kuhl.
    

    	I grew up for many years living near a family with the surname
    of Christmas.  In true tradition, they had children named Mary,
    Carol, Noel, and a few others related (14 at last count -- I wonder
    what *they* did on cold winter nights).
    
    	Also, many years ago I remember attending a church where the
    pastor was named Rev. Larry Pigg.  Believe it or not, on his very
    first Sunday in the church, the bulletin had an announcement something
    like:
    
    	Today we welcome to our church the Rev. Larry Pigg.
    
    	Greaters at the door today are Mr. and Mrs. Hoggshead.
    
    	And lastly, there's a sign that I saw in an auto-repair shop
    stating that:
    
    	The head of our credit department is Helen Waite.  If you're
    looking for credit, you can go to Helen Waite.
    
    	Frank

    I'm working with the law firm of Haily and Kaye.  Mr. Kaye's first
    name is Bo.
    
    There is a funeral home in my home town named Max Sass.  They added
    the middle initial to the name to try to avoid the laughter.  It
    is now known as Max A. Sass funeral home.

Speaking of law firms, how about:

	Dewey, Cheetam, and Howe

    re:.114
    
    Not as nice as the one I saw in an UNCLE $CROOGE comic:
    
    "Nickem, Stickem, Fleecem, and Skip --- Attorneys at Law"
    
    --- jerry

    Another fictitious one came from "The Goodies", a comedy TV series
    in Britain several years ago:
    
    	Terribly, Terribly, Boring and Dull.
    
    
    			Ian  <|8^).
    

    I had a friend who was attending law school, and her last name was
    far from ordinary.  She looked forward to the day the secretary
    would answer her phone with something akin to:
    
    Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith and Wiggers.

    Also, my sister used to work at an insurance agency.  Two secretaries
    wanted to have a christmas party, a Suzanne Crumm and Marianne Dougall.
     The party was registered at the nearby-hotel's function room to
    the "Crumm and Dougall Corps".
    
    -Jody
    

    Don't forget the super star of the law firm:
      
    
    
           Sue M. Fast


          
    -bs
    

                I had a friend at school called Tadeusz Lopasczinzki
                who was, of course, known to everyone as
    
                            "Tad the Pole"

I used to know of a poor girl christened 'Freda Bracegirdle'.
And an ex-colleague was called Frank Hall or more commonly F 'all.

But females can get the problem twice  -  when they marry.

I knew a Miss Savage who married Mr Wilde.

And Lesley Clark who was engaged to David Leslie - I hope *they* never married.

    
    	The New York Times for Sunday, 4 October, contained
    	the following Wedding announcement:
    
    		Katherine Rasberry Weds Rodney Pitts
    
    	-Glinch
    
    	

    re .120
    
    When you are at school, middle names are often a subject of ridicule.
    A friend of mine was particularly unfortunate, and it was not for
    some time that we realised the full atrocity of his christening.
    His mother's maiden name was Nancy White. His father's name was
    Andrew Brown. His name?
    
    
    
    Peter Fairlie Brown.
    
    
    Poor sod.  8^}
    
    			Ian.

    
    A service technician that I met (at another company) who was from
    the far East took great delight in introducing himself to women
    by saying: "Hi, I'm James Hung ... and I am".

RE: .120   (Lesley Leslie)

Reminded me of my first wife's relatives, Aunt Cecil and Uncle Cecil.

			- - -  Karl

    Another funny name:
    
    	I once heard of a girl named Crystal Poole.
    
    Someone I knew said that in the phonebook of his home town, a woman
    was listed with the name
    	Fanny Passafjume  (sp?)
    
    Also, about 10 years ago, a book of funny names of people and companies
    came out. I did not see the book, but I remember one name from a
    review of it:
    
    	Cardinal Sin, Archbishop of Manila.
                               
    Then there are the people who are simply cruel. I wonder how many
    Paul Revere's get awakened at midnight to hear "The British are
    coming!"
    
    Also, Frank Zappa is a musician who named his daughter "Moon Unit"
    and his son "Dweezil" (sp?) (Moon Unit Zappa did the "valley girl"
    voice on the song of the same name, and Dweezil issued a single
    called "My Mother Is A Space Cadet." (She must be, to have let Frank
    give their children those names.)
    
    
    

    I have often wondered if Dweezil was named after 'Pop goes de weasel'.
    Anyone have a clue? (I won't even think about Moon Unit)
    
    Gary

    Moon ("Unit" is her middle name) and Dweezil are only the two more
    famous ones. Frank has another son named Achmed.
    
    You also need to consider the environment: in southern California,
    that type of name isn't exactly rare. From all that I've heard,
    Moon and Dweezil both like their names and aren't the least ashamed
    or embarrassed by them.
    
    I've seen some people give themselves worse names. There's a woman
    at Newbury Comics in Harvard Square whose nametag reads "Luggage".
    
    --- jerry

    This (.-1) reminds me of a story I saw in the papers some time ago,
    about names in Russia. Around the time of the Industrial Revolution,
    which I suppose must have been early 1940's ish, children were given
    names relating to the new machinery. Like Tractor, or Bailer.
    
    	One 40 year old woman claimed that her life had been ruined
    because she was called Diesel Generator.
    
    	A new precedent for California, perhaps?  8^}.
    
    
    			Ian.

    
    	I knew a girl named Emily Memoli.
    
    	My college roomate's mother's name is Rita Wright.
    
    	When I was a kid, the old man who lives next door was named
    	Lester S. Moore (Les S. Moore)
    
    	The maiden name of the mother of a buddy of mine from college
    	was Florence Motien (Flo Motien).
    
    	Joe Oppelt

	A friend of the family is called Ophelia Balls. You can of course
	shorten that to O. Balls (Really, its true)
	
		Steve

    G'day,
    There was at one time a (presumably) lady in the 0734 phone book
    with the delightful name of Ophelia Pratt.
    
    Also my younger Scouts of the day used to delight in phoning anyone
    with the Surname of Smellie and advising them to take a bath. (blush)
    
    I once knew of a 8 year-old private school cub Scout with the name
    of Peregrine Hepplethwaite. We had pictures of him some 10 years
    on as a 6'+, beer-drinking Senior Scout (as it was then) defending
    his name to the ultimate!
    
    Derek
    

    I have a couple for ya....
    
    I want to high school with a girl named
        
                     Lorette Millet
    
    I also know of someone named
    
                     Charles C. Charles
                             |                          
                             |
                            \|/   
                             
                          Of course
                          the "C" stands
                          
                          "CHARLES"
       
        A friend from high school receently had a
        son and named him
                
                     Oliver Doliver  
    

Reminds me of a Groucho Marx Re-run of "You Bet Your Life"

A contestants Father gave her as first and middle name, what he considered the
most beautiful sounding phrase in the English language:



        Cellar Door

    Re .133:
    
    Speaking of Groucho, he once had a guest woth a Latino surname:
    [Pablo] Gonzales-Gonzales.  This gentlemen suggested that at some
    point he and Groucho could do a team act.
    
    Groucho said,  "I can see the billing now.  Gonzales-Gonzales and
    Marx.  Just what I always needed: third billing on a two-man act."
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

	My wife's cousin just had a baby, they have named
	him Tyler.  His last name is Bohl.  That poor kid is
	going to have to grow up tough!

    I've gotta reply to this note. When you grow up with a last name
    like mine, you end up feeling you have the right to make fun of
    anybody's name. Now I have trouble believing some of the names
    mentioned so far are for real, but I swear the following is all
    true.
    
    When my younger brother was born, my parents decided to name him
    Ian Robert, but dad's mother intervened before the christening and
    suggested I. R. Smellie was a bit much for a kid to have to put
    up with. So they added a third given name, William, and he became
    I. R. Willy Smellie. He was 14 when I pointed this out to Mom. She
    calmly said, "Just don't mention it to your grandmother." (By the
    way, speaking of interesting wedding announcements, my grandmother's
    maiden name was Hogg.)
    
    And names from high school: Duncan Hines, or the school nerd  -
    Harry Dick.
    
    Regards,
    Tom

    My editor swears his mother's name is Betty Crocker.
    
    But she used to be Elizabeth Taylor.
    
    --bonnie

	The Pope John-Paul I, upon his accession to the Crown of Rome, took his
name from the two previous incumbents, Pope John and Pope Paul.   It is a
matter of infinite regret to me that his successor, Pope John-Paul II did not
likewise derive his name by the concatenation of that of his two predecessors.

	He would then have been known as

Paul-John-Paul

and had his successors followed this startling innovation, they would have been
called

John-Paul-Paul-John-Paul
Paul-John-Paul-John-Paul-Paul-John-Paul
etc.

But maybe this is would eventually get to pall,
John.

    Before I was born my father considered naming me Peter. Am grateful
    that he didn't.
    
   At one time I was married. My wife H*AT*E*D it when she was introduced
    as Bunny (mostly that was done as a joke because of my last name).
    There are still friends of mine that call me B'rer.

    I was very tempted to try to get some sense of aristocracy into
    our family when we had a child ....
    
    For a boy, I could conceive ...
    
    Timothy, Lord Beaver
    
    and a girl,
    
    Jennifer, Lady Beaver
    
    
    thereby joining a Canadian newspaper magnates family in the British
    House of Lords
    
    Stuart Brook

    ps I couldn't be so cruel when it came down to it.  Interestingly,
    we now live in a part of Ottawa called Beaverbrook!

With a name like Takeshita, wasn't the Japanese ex-PM
bound to take lots of shita one day or another ?

roger

    Before coming to DEC, I worked in the medical field.  The following
    were very real:
    
    Dr. Croke - a cardiologist
    Dr. Hugh Dick - a urologist
    Dr. Fixott - can't remember his specialty

    From Bonnie Warren-
    	She has met a Young woman by the name of Crystal Ball, whose
    father has the unfortunate appelation of Quentin, known as Que
     
    George Arnett-Hutto
    

Back to the subject of puns on names --- the name of the Colombian drug figure 
killed in a shootout with government authorities a few weeks ago is pronounced

	Gotcha

(spelled Gacha)

    Re .125
    
    > Cardinal Sin, Archbishop of Manila.
    
    In fact, he refers to his residence as "The House of Sin."
    (He really does.)

    
    In university, once noticed the name "Beverly Hilton" on the name
    card of another student (name cards were used for "paying" for meals
    in the cafeteria).  A few years later, I read that someone named
    Conrad Hilton founded that hotel chain, and he had a daughter about
    the right age, and lived in that city, so maybe....  Does that make
    it more or less of a pun?
    
    For a year or two I used to play bridge with someone named Ron Hope.
    When we registered our entries (only at the local club where everyone
    knew everyone anyway), we just put our surnames on one line.

    Across the street from my apartment building is a sign for a dentist
    named Carpe.
    
    I've never met anyone else who found it amusing but this is probably
    the right crowd.
    
    Ray

    
    Re: -.1   -< Carpe, D.D.M. >-
    
    Sounds fishy to me!
    

    Is his motto "carpe dent" instead of "carpe diem"?
    
    ("Seize the tooth" instead of "seize the day"?)

    Also in Shrewsbury center (see 770.12) is a D.D.M. named Dr.
    Dennis - Dennis the Dentist, that is.
    
    Bill
    

I just read a document written be a professional firm that Digital deals with. 
The name of the firm is:



			Smart and Biggar


At least they've got the order correctly, even if they can't spell "Bigger".

Clay

    There is a young lady that does the local ski report on the radio
    her name is Brandy St.Bernard. I don't beleive it for a minute.
    
    Gail

    
    
    	Any one ever heard of Kurlan Music is Worc, Ma? (its a musical
     	instrument store)
    
    	Dave Kurlan named his 2 daughters  "Amanda Lynn" & 
    	"Claire Annette" 
    	How cruel  8^)
    					Steve      

    18 years ago, we ultimately decided to name our second daughter Amanda,
    Mandy for short -- but when I first heard the name, something about it
    struck me funny...  When my wife first proposed Amanda, I replied
    flippantly: 
    
    "AMANDA!!??  Sure, and if we do THAT we'll simply HAVE to choose
    CONSTITUTION as her middle name!"
    
    Discretion prevailed and we chose "Beth" as the middle name, and we've
    never regretted it.
    
    Except when she was being Very Very Bad when she became "Ms. Amanda
    Constitution, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!

	    From John Train's Most Remarkable Names, Potter, N.Y., 1985:

	    Bambina Broccoli
	    Bonnie Bee Buzzard
	    Betty Burp
	    Col. Clarence Clapsaddle
	    Gretel von Garlic
	    Osbourne Outhouse
	    Rosebud Rosenbloom

	    Arystotle Tottle (18th Century English pirate)
	    Hector Spector
	    Herman Sherman Berman
	    Hugh Pugh
	    Iccolo Miccolo (played the piccolo for the S.F. Symphony 
	      Orchestra)
	    Jerry Derryberry
	    Mark Clark Van Ark
	    Newton Hooton

	    Luscious Easter (played for the Cleveland Indians)
	    Mr. Venus Bonaparte

	    P.P. Fast
	    I.P. Frilli
	    C. Mathews Dick
	    I.O. Silver
		
	    Al Dente
	    Charity Ball
	    Rev. Christian Church
	    Robyn Banks (teller, First Pennsylvania Bank, Chesnut Hill)
	    Knighton Day
	    Warren Peace
	    Pearl Harbor 

	    Hilarius Fuchs
	    Joy Bang
	    Anne Aass
	    Violet Organ
	    Dennis Elbow
	    Fanny Hunnybun
	    Adora Cox
	    Lettice Goedebed
	    Noble Dick (chairman, Dick Corporation, Pittsburgh)
	    Ophelia Tittey

	    Aurora Cabangbang
	    Bathsheba Finkelstein
	    Sir Farquhar Buzzard (personal physician to George IV)
	    Breece d'J. Pancake (contemporary author)
	    Demetrius Toodles
	    Humperdink Fangboner
	    Lobelia Rugtwit Hildebiddle
	    Magdalena Babblejack
	    Mignon Hamburger
	    Roosevelt Cabbagestalk
	    Roman Pretzel
	    Thusnelda Neusbickle
	    Ulysses Tyrebiter
	    Yelburton Abraham Tittle (N.Y. Giants QB -- better known as 
	      Y.A.)

	     Female Jones
	     Legitimate Jones
 	     Male Infant Kilgore
	     Positive Wasserman Johnson

	     Fauntleroy Schnauz
	     Hrothgar Habbakuk (Vice-Chancellor, Oxford)
	     Macgregor Suzuki
	     Ming-Toy Epstein
	     Santiago Nudelman (Chilean publisher)
	     Siddhartha Greenblatt
	     Zeppelin W. Wong

	     Genghis Cohen
	     Baskerville Holmes (Memphis State basketball player)
	     Rosetta Stone
	     Solomon Gemorah

	     Dreama Bottoms
	     Agonia Heimerdinger
	     Fartina Greene
	     Easter Buggage
	     Horacine Clutch
	     Ima June Bugg
	     Iva Odor
	     Lesbia Lobo (professional lady golfer)
	     LeGrunt E. Crapper
	     Mausoleum Jackson
	     Loch Ness Hontas
	     Needa Climax 
	     Nita Bath
	     Shanda Lear	    
	     Tarantula Turner
	     Urine McZeal
	     Vaseline Love
	     Verbal Funderburk

		-- Cliff

    I once went to an orthopedic surgeon named Dr. Carver.
    
    The office next to his was Dr. Yell, the dentist.
    
    When very young, I lived next door to Dusty Rhodes.
    
    And let us not forget my own name - a source of fun.  It has often
    been said that I should have named a daughter Nancy Joy Lust -> 
       N. Joy Lust
    I didn't do that, but I did use my name on our personalized licence
    plate for years.
    
    Linda
    

    I knew a woman who was named Marcia Garcia before she married...
    
    And my parents swore they knew a woman named Lotta who married a
    man with the last name of Crapp.
    
    LN (lazy for Ellen)

    And one I heard last night:
    
    		Alias for a psycho = pseudonymphomaniac
    
    LN

Back when I was in school in Missouri there were two brothers in the state
government named Peter and Jack Rabbitt.

If Gypsy Rose Lee had married George Bush she'd be Gypsy Rose Bush.

Or if Ethel Merman married Shelley Berman and divorced him to marry Alan
Sherman she'd be Ethel Merman Berman Sherman.

(Ah, Laugh In!  Good Night, Dick!)

    Wonderful Terrific Monds III was drafted by a major league baseball
    team last week.  It turns out that Wonderful Terrific Monds Jr played
    for the San Francisco 49ers (American football) a few years ago, except
    we went by Wondy (or was it Wondie) then...
    
    Cheers,
    
    Roy

I went to high schools with a girl with the last name of Hussey and
another named Hoar.  I also worked for a man named Dick Bangs.

My husband works with a guy with the last name Bimbo.  His daughter
Amanda is A. Bimbo.

My mother-in-law Ann had the maiden name Parent, which she changed
when she got married.  So she was A. Parent only BEFORE she had
children.

My mother used to work as a hospital switchboard operator.  One of her
responsibilities was to page doctors to various parts of the hospital.
Before she got to know all the doctors' names, some of her coworkers
called in pages that were jokes (e.g., Dr. Howard and Dr. Fine).  When
she announced them, they had quite a laugh.  After a couple of times,
she was determined not to fall for THAT again, so when she got a
request to page Dr. Shrink to the Mental Health wing, she ignored it. 
But, of course, there really was a psychiatrist named Dr. Shrink and
the page was real. (Fortunately, it wasn't an emergency and she didn't
lose her job.  She did, however, have a hard time keeping a straight
face when someone showed up at the switchboard saying, "Hi, I'm Dr.
Shrink...")

My younger daughter's name is Paige, a name we picked out early in the
pregnancy.  We didn't have a middle name picked out, though, so when
people asked, we told them we would be using a family name: Turner.
No one ever commented to us.  I wonder how many of them think that's
really her middle name.  (It's not.)

And in the appropriate last name department, my children's doctor is Wellman
and a writer I know is Blunt.

-Tracy

    

    I don't know why some people don't change their names before entering
    med school. A block from my brother's new apartment is the office of
    a GP named Dr. Slaughter.
    
    						Val

    Near Porter Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts there is a funeral home
    owned by a Mr. Long, so, sure enough, the sign advertises:
    
    	LONG FUNERAL SERVICE
    
Lew Lasher

    G'DAY,
    
     Digressing slightly...
    
    In Sydney there is a funeral company called 'Labor Funerals' (but none
    called Liberal Funerals..) and there is another called Motor Funerals
    although cars have been used for years...
    
    
    Oh well - I thought they were interesting...
    
    
    dere
    

    	We were reasonably careful when choosing names for our children,
    but my elder daughter is called Merle, and we hadn't known we would at
    some time live in an area where Merle is about the most common surname.
    There are a lot of foreigners in this area, so nobody would be
    surprised at a forename of Monahan, and with official forms varying as
    to whether they want forename or surname first, I think that after 7
    years in the school there were some of her teachers who were uncertain
    whether she was Merle Monahan or Monahan Merle.
    
    	For my younger daughter, Linnet, my wife tried a final assault on
    the school administration. She has been in the school 4 years and they
    are still using French spellings of her name. One of the problems is
    that "linnet head" (t�te de linotte) roughly translates as
    "scatterbrained", which she is not - she passed the "brevet" (school
    leaving exam) at 13 years old.
    
    	Actually, all the women in my family are birds - Mavis (my wife) is
    song thrush, Merle is blackbird.

    Back when I was an assistant at UNH and one of my students was
    Dudley Dudley who was then newly married and later was elected to
    the Governor's Council, we wondered whether "the resulting name"
    had any psychological influence on her choice of husband.
                            
    ed

    ... they had a report from at or near the scene given by a seismologist
    by the wonderful name of Waverly Person.
    
    :-)
    

    My wife's father used to be a Headmaster.  He once taught two sisters
    and a brother named Myrtle, Holly and William :-
    
    Myrtle Berry
    Holly Berry
    Bill Berry
    
    
    	Ian

    Once upon a time, I used to work for an electronics firm in the South
    of England.  A few of the names from there seem appropriate for here:-
    
    The first one got rather embarrassing - there was a department that had
    something like four Michaels working in it.  One day, when the regular
    secretary was on holiday, her (young, female, pretty, blonde) temporary
    replacement picked up a call for one of them.  She (without thinking)
    called out "Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"
    
    Then there were two guys, Andy Nutt and Anthony Nutt (not related). 
    Their login names?  ANUTT and ANUTT2.
    
    
    	Ian

    Is this another hit-and-run noter? I find this sort of sophomoric
    insensitivity nauseating. I gave it the NEXT UNSEEN treatment
    yesterday, but that's what I'm afraid a lot of other men have
    been doing to sexual harassment for too long. It's time to stand
    up and be counted, and here I am ma.
    
    b^

    I agree, Bob.  A long time ago, when I was in my teens, I though things
    like that were funny.  Then I grew up.

    re .169.
    
    What's a hit-and-run noter?
    
    
    
    I once read (can't remember where) of a couple, Mr and Mrs Smith, who
    named their daughter Coronation because she was born on Coronation day. 
    Sure enough, when she grew up she married a John Street.
    
    For any non-(ex-)brits out there, Coronation Street is one of the
    longest running and most popular soaps on British TV.
    
    	Ian G

>    What's a hit-and-run noter?

Someone who drops in very occasionally with something controversial in one
note and is never around for follow up discussion.

>    For any non-(ex-)brits out there, Coronation Street is one of the
>    longest running and most popular soaps on British TV.

Although EastEnders is about to give it a good run for its money!

Stuart

    Apologies for the hit-and-run(-ish) posting - I have been rather loathe
    to just 'SET SEEN/BEFORE' any of the notes files I am trying to catch
    up on.  Also, no offense was intended by my earlier note in this topic,
    and even the temporary secretary involved saw the funny side - it was
    she who told me of the incident!
    
    	Ian

    Here's one that isn't a punishment, so much as a portent. The word
    `portillo' is Spanish for `gate'; and the device printed on House of
    Commons notepaper is a portcullis. M. D. X. Portillo, MP, speaks
    Spanish like a native (well, like a book, according to some of his
    Spanish friends, but a book that doesn't make too many mistakes)  so
    he's no doubt aware of the happenstance and maybe smiles inwardly
    whenever he signs an official letter.
    
    b

In the latest RISKS Digest, there's an item written by one Phil Overy in
response to an item by Mark Terribile.

    The Head of Design at my son's college is an unmarried lady.
    
    The students all think she is worse than useless.
    
    Her name?  Susie Fortune, so she's referred to as 
    
    			Miss Fortune