Conference quark::mennotes

    	The gift which we got which I appreciate is a set of good quality
    knives.  We've been using them daily for 12 years.  
    	I know that there is some BS about it being unlucky to give knives
    as a gift.
    						John
    

    
    	I just got married and my husband registered for Henkel [sp]
    	knives.  We didn't get any, he's bummed.  We will use some of the 
    	$$ to buy some though.  He liked the electric wok and the weather 
    	station we got...
    
    	How about power tools?  
    
    	

    I'd like top-quality hand tools, but I'd want somebody to check with me
    first -- I don't need another hammer.
    
    Romantic?  No.  Useful and practical?  You bet.

There's probably a lot of discussion of this in the WEDDINGS conference.
However, wedding gifts are supposed to be for the couple, not the individual
partners.  They're often something for the household.  If the husband 
considers the household his wife's purview, then that's his problem if he
doesn't like the gifts.

My strategy is to buy something decorative and tasteful for the house;
I try to find something unusual or hand-crafted, something that shows I put
some thought into the gift selection rather than just throwing darts at a
registry list.

					Steve

or how about a few bottles of french wine (two-, three year old). 
that will start him off on a wine collection providing he's got a nice 
cool wine cellar... 
collecting wine is what married men around here (switzerland) like to do.

regards,
andreas.

Only if you know they like "fine wine".

			Steve

of course wine gets better with the years, bit like us really ;-)

Only if cared for properly - like us... :-)

			Steve

    Tools.  Just about anything for mechanic, carpentry, etc.
    fred();

>    I am going to a wedding where I don't know the bride and only the groom
>    casually.

Just out of curiosity, why are you going?

Free food?

	Steve

How's about His 'n' Hers .45s, custom tuned by Corky Towle?

Knives?  No no no no no.  

    
    My husband is a good friend of the groom's but I have only met him
    twice, that is why I am going.  They haven't had a chance to see
    eachother that much after high school so I haven't met the bride at
    all, FWIW.
    
    I like the idea of tools.  The one gift that my husband liked was a
    socket set for his car that we ordered from a catalogue given
    to us as a wedding gift.
    
    Knives; well the groom doesn't cook so I don't think he would enjoy
    them.
    
    Thanks for all the ideas!
    
    cj
    
                                                            

If your husband is a friend of the groom's, why doesn't he pick the present?

Re: .14

Gerald, surely you know that social obligations are a woman's province? :-)

(Seriously, your suggestion is a good one.)

			Steve

    Of course its a good idea that my husband pick the present but your
    right; social obligations in our family are the woman's province.
    
    I can't get him in a store, whether it be a clothing store, drug store
    or grocery store! :)
    
    cj
    

    Ask him if he'll accompany you to the Tool Department at Sears!
    
    					andrew

Be practical.

Get 'em paper towels.

Everybody needs paper towels.

No, paper is the first anniversary, not the wedding..;-)

Some guys don't particularly care about tools, you know.  I cook, but
I don't do very much mechanical stuff.  Find out what he likes first.
I mean, I'd like a socket set, but I'd love a good set of Henkel's...

;-)

tim

    
    	BTW, my husband doesn't really cook either, but he LOVES to
    	cut and chop things with good knives... 
    
    	Also, if I left buying a gift up to him, he'd probably buy it
    	on the way to the wedding or the 364th day after the wedding.
    
    	

    If the wedding couple have a house, with yard, why not a small tree to
    put into the ground as a passage of time of the marriage. Like a
    Japenise (sp) maple, or a flowering crab, or something that you will
    both enjoy together. 

re .21:

One would hope their marriage lasts longer than they live in that particular
house.

    You guys are too funny.  Tim Grady, where did you go to school?
    
    I will have to talk to my husband and see what he says.  
    
    Course people change alot in 15 years.  If anyone in my high school was
    told that I would love to cook and be a mom they would of choked on
    their lunch.
    
    cj
    

    One of the best gifts we received in my option was a gift cert for
    a xmas tree and a box of xmas decorations. 

    
    Hiz & Herz baseball bats to ensure fair "discussions" between the
    two in the future ;^), ;^).

    fred();

    A silver portrait (for a wedding picture) is very nice, so is a leather
    picture album with embossed initials... those are items that are always
    welcome, do not take space and always reminds you of the giver...
    
    I specially cherish good coffee sets... nice cristal wine glasses, a
    good cristal center piece... the list is endles, but in your situation
    where the friendship is not too close I would find the leather album
    the most appropriate because it is not personal and can be enjoyed by
    both, husband and wife, equally.
    
    I hope this helps... Ana

    My son just got married and he had registered at WOODWORKER'S WAREHOUSE!
    He also had a ball going around and registering with his fiance at 
    CRATE AND BARREL and  LECHMERE.  They got a lot of neat things that they
    both will enjoy.  He got some wood clamps and other things he has put
    in for.  He had already given his fiance Wustauff (sp?) knives for 
    a previous Christmas!  

    Mom and Dad pitched in for the Calaphan cooking set!

    justme....jacqui

I'm probably in the minority, but I consider cash gifts to be a cop-out.  It
says "I don't care enough to select a gift for you".  I feel similarly about
the use of gift registries.  If you can't be bothered to choose something
on your own, why are you attending the wedding?

				Steve

re .27:

It doesn't sound like they got things both will enjoy, it sounds like they
got things *each* will enjoy.

    Actually when my wife and I got married, cash gifts were very welcome.
    I'd just started work for DEC as a trainee, and she'd just lost her
    job.  We paid for most of our honeymoon from the cash donations.
    Although it wasn't a very long honeymoon since there were a lot
    of things to consider.  Would have been even shorter without the 
    cash gifts.

    Also my wife left a "wish list" with her mother.  It was amazing how
    we got nearly everything on the list with few duplicates ;^).  We
    also got lots of towels, etc, but we did use them all up.

    fred();

    Women seem to like suprise gifts of things they DON'T need.
    
    Men 'prefer' (at least I do) gifts I can USE. Whether its a suprise or
    not doesn't matter much to me.
    
    Jeff

    How about a 'His and Hers' handgun set. That way when the need arises.
    They can duel it out.:)

>It doesn't sound like they got things both will enjoy, it sounds like they
got things *each* will enjoy.


    OOOOOps, sorry, but they *BOTH* will enjoy what each selected.  The 
    reason for WOODWORKER'S WAREHOUSE was so that she would get good 
    furniture that he would make.  He enjoys building fine things as an
    avocation.  They both wanted cooking pots and Bennington dinner ware.
    Everything on their list they BOTH decided upon.  We gave the starter
    set of pots and others filled in.  Both cook....he also washes, irons,
    and does a good job on windows!  I must say, combined with his good
    looks, that he was a darn good catch!!!  He even looked like he enjoyed
    his own wedding and reception!  It was a fun experience with quite a 
    serious tone to it also.  They worked out the service TOGETHER with 
    the minister over six months time.  I just had to give the rehearsal
    dinner that was supposed to be a pool party but it RAINED and RAINED and
    RAINED.  It went well inside anyway and my son was very appreciative
    about the work that his parents had put into getting ready for it.  I 
    guess when you get married at 28 years old you realize what it takes.

    justme....jacqui

    p.s. Blenders, toasters, pizza stones, etc...

.33> He even looked like he enjoyed his own wedding and reception!  

with so many weddings that i have attended in the past (including my own),
the thought had never crossed my mind, and there it was, so close, 
*the* test, *the* indicator for a good marriage:


did the bride-groom enjoy the wedding?

:-)

andreas.

    After taking all the ideas home, I was asked last weekend why I am
    looking for a wedding present for a wedding that is three weeks away?
    :)
    
    So, I took the liberty of asking some questions about the couple and
    came up the with following:
    
    Weekend get away package, valid for one year after the wedding ceremony
    at a bed and breakfast with complete dinner and breakfast included. 
    The hotel also has an indoor sauna, jacuzzi and pool.  It is within a
    hours drive of their home.
    
    I found out that the women has a child seven years old and they rarely
    get out.  Now, should I include babysitting too?
    
    cj

Re: .35

That is a very thoughtful gift, especially if babysitting is included.


				Steve