| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 396.1 | Free at last! | INTER::G_KNIGHTING | Thinkingspeakingthinkingspeaking. | Fri Dec 01 1989 17:09 | 29 |
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Can men be "free" without "free falling"? Can men be free while
committed to a partner?
>>> Yep, *I* think so. It depends on your definition of freedom. If
freedom is the state of being without externally imposed restraints,
whatcha gotta do is find yourself an SO who both appreciates and
approves of you (difficult, but not impossible -- I know). Someone
like that will encourage and support rather than restrain you. I'm
assuming that "committed to a partner" means that you don't really
want to fool around on the side, or run off somewhere just for the
hell of it for six months at a time.
Is it "male" to want this freedom from family ties, and, if it is, is it
nature or nurture that makes us long to be free?
>>> I'd say no. Again, it depends on your definition of family "ties."
If that tie is a strong connection, most men I know want that. If
it's a leash, most men I know (and most women) don't.
Is it in our genes, or are we just trying to be the Marlboro Men
we see on TV?
>>> Not me. The thought of getting a tattoo makes me queasy. (0,-)
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| 396.2 | | WAHOO::LEVESQUE | As you merged, power surged- together | Fri Dec 01 1989 17:10 | 48 |
| I have sort of ignored the song since I have little time for Tom Petty
(most of the time, anyway). I will give it a listen next time.
>It seems to describe the seeming
>contradiction that avoiding commitment may give an exhilerating rush
>of freedom but that it also might generate the terror of an isolated
>free fall into the dark.
Sounds like the two sides of a coin.
>Can men be "free" without "free falling"?
Some guys can no matter what. I think it comes from the confidence of
knowing that the next relationship is just around the corner. Most of
us can be free without free falling some of the time. Some can't ever
be free without free falling.
>Can men be free while committed to a partner?
To an extent. I don't know anyone who is AS free when committed to
another as when they have no one but themselves. Seems rather
predictable.
>Is it "male" to want this freedom from family
>ties, and, if it is, is it nature or nurture that makes us long to be
>free?
I'm not sure if it's male or human. The contradictory feelings brought
about by wanting to run with the crowd while also wanting the stability
and constancy of a family/SO can be tough to take at times. These
feelings often give rise to unhealthy feelings of jealousy, restlessness
and discomfit.
In the end, you have to decide what you want more, I guess.
>Is it in our genes, or are we just trying to be the Marlboro Men
>we see on TV?
Actually, it seems to be very similar to the behavior exhibited by my 9
month old daughter. She sees what she wants, and she tries to get it.
And she gets very upset when she isn't allowed to have something she
wants. In the same way, when you see what you want, it would be easy to
just drop everything and chase after it. As adults we are supposed to
realize that we can't get everything we want and that there are
very real consequences to dropping everything. And often the
consequences are felt most by those we love.
The Doctah
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| 396.3 | | AV8OR::TATISTCHEFF | Lee T | Mon Dec 04 1989 20:46 | 9 |
| re .2 "human trait" rather than male per se
i get the push-me-pull-you, too. i've never had a partner about whom i
had *no* mixed feelings (hence the never-married state). so when it's
over, i feel good not to be attached to someone with those scary flaws,
and bad about not being attached to someone with those wonderful
strengths.
lt
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| 396.4 | Genes ?? Jeans ... Attendance at parties ... | WOODRO::EARLY | Bob Early CSS/NSG Dtn 264-6252 | Wed Jan 03 1990 13:01 | 49 |
| re: < Note 396.0 by TLE::FISHER "Work that dream and love your life" >
>...but that it also might generate the terror of an isolated free fall
>into the dark.
think about this line. How can one "think" about machoism, and at the
same time conceive a machoistic personality as having any fears at all?
Well, i can. But thoughts don't always agree with reality, do they ?
>Can men be "free" without "free falling"?
Apply some political savvy. In the sense that it is only (in theory)
free people who can choose to be slaves, likewise, it is only "single"
folks who can choose to be married (in theory). But .. life is
complex. I have seen, and know, some "single" folks who are more
enslaved by their living arrangements than many married folks are with
theirs. Being free doesn't necessarily imply loosenes, nor does
"enslavement" necesarily a permanent condition (ie Romania, Poland,
etc).
>Can men be free while committed to a partner?
People are as "free" as they choose to be. Check the statistics on
divorce due to the "other" person choosing a second partner while
legally committed to the first.
>Is it "male" to want this freedom from family ties, and, if it is, is it
>nature or nurture that makes us long to be free?
Free ? Shall we delve into semantics, or maintain what we beleive to be
the intent of the word "free" ?
Considering that I personally know more woman than men (1 to 0) who have
abandoned their families (children), I do not beleive it is a
characteristically male attribute to be "free".
>Is it in our genes, or are we just trying to be the Marlboro Men we see on TV?
Its not the genes, any more than fidelity is. Acceptance or denial of
responsibilities is a learned trait, based on our understanding of what
those responsibilities are, and how we choose to accept or deny their
existance.
>--GerWhoKnowsHeThinksTooMuchAboutPopSongs
Bob who should now better tooo.
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