Conference quark::mennotes-v1

 Nice sentiments. I think I would have liked your grandfather.

 I'm glad you got your priorities straight. (see item #1) :-)

 The Doctah

    Thanks -- your note brought back a lot of good memories of
    my grandfather.  Especially after we moved back to New England,
    I found bits and pieces of stories and lessons coming to me,
    usually at just the moment I needed them.  A lot of them are
    very much like your list and have the same ring of truth.
    Thanks again,
    
    Ron

    Thank you for sharing "the list"  - it's great. (and gave me goosebumps
    while reading it)
    
    You had a wonderful grandfather!
    
    -Dotti.
    

    
    
    	I never knew either of my grandfathers ......
    
    	Against the background of your story, I guess it's a pity ......
    
    	Not knowing any better, I can live now thinking that I might have
    	had one that could have been much like yours ......
    
    	I'll keep the list for reference, if you don't mind .....
    
    	Good thought to start the weekend with ......
    
    	You are an ever so lucky guy with a "teacher" like that.
    
    	Marcel

>    	I never knew either of my grandfathers ......
    
Neither did I.  I've decided that I want Wilfred Brimley from "Cocoon" 
to be my imaginary grand father.

My ex and his brother were talking about their father.  The brother 
was telling a story about how their dad would be driving the mower 
around the yard, and the grandson would be playing in the yard.  The 
brother told my ex how he felt when he saw his father get off the 
mower, hug the grandson, and put him on the seat with him while he was 
mowing the lawn.  The brother couldn't understand why his dad could be 
so much more affectionate with his son than he ever was with him.

Have other guys noticed this in their families?  That the grandfather 
is more emotionally open with his grandkids than he was with his own 
kids (especially the boys)?


							--Gerry

    
    RE -1
    
    There's a definite difference in the way my dad treats my son vs.
    the way he treated me. Then again, I can understand it because my
    dad was only 19 when I was born so he was still just growing up
    himself. Sometimes it bothers me a little to see them be so close,
    but it makes me happy that my son gets to have a great grampa as
    it was something I never got. I wonder how many other people have
    these conflicting feelings? Anybody?
    
    chris

	    Age teaches patience to those who are willing to learn it.
	After love, the most important thing in dealing with children is
        patience.  My father told me once that he never got along as well
        with Granddad (his father) as I did. 

	    Re .6: Good point -- most people are still growing up when they
	start to have children.  The responsibility of seeing that your
	children have all of the necessities and some of the frills, and
	that they learn the rules and do the work they need to do, is
	awesome, and makes many (if not most) parents a little crazy.
	As a general rule, grandfathers don't have the same responsibilities
	-- they can afford to concern themselves with things that are
	just as important but less urgent.

	    Mine was a special case, but I think a lot of grandparents are
	like that to a greater or lesser extent.

	    To the woman a few notes back who has the list on her wall:

	    Thanks.  Granddad would have been a little embarrassed, I
	    think, but very, very pleased.  I'm not at all embarrassed,
	    but I'm equally pleased.  Some people just ain't as lucky
	    as others in the matter of ancestors;  it behooves us lucky
	    ones to try to share the wealth a little.

	    I've been thinking about him a lot lately.  I hope nobody minds
	if I add another thought or two.

	    As far back as I can remember, he and the Lone Ranger were
	my heroes.  (I think the Lone Ranger was a little ahead on flash,
        having a white horse and silver guns.  In all other respects, the
        old man was miles out in front.)  He knew every single thing I
	could think of that was worth knowing, and he was neither painful
	nor selfish about it.  He could build most anything that needed
	building, fix most anything that needed fixing, shoot a gun, catch
	a fish, cook, sew, dance, build a fire with wet wood, raise a
        garden ("vegetables for eatin', flowers for lookin'"), walk the legs
        off of anybody I ever saw, and make anybody he met feel like a real
        interesting and significant part of the population.  He even wrote
        a book once.  It never got published, but I thought it was a pretty
        good book. 

	    From the time that I was fifteen or so, I always called him
	"the old man."  He never objected, because he recognized the phrase
	as a term of respect, which is how I always intended it.  He never
	seemed to be too bothered about the matter of age.  The closest I
	ever came to hearing him complain about it was one chilly morning
	when we were fishing.  I think he must have been about sixty-four
	or -five then.  He had spent the majority of the previous day
	building a brick chimney, and was, in consequence, a little stiff.
	As we were clambering over some rocks in the riverbed, he turned to
	me and said, "You know, it ain't no shame to get old, but it sure
	is inconvenient."

	    After Grandma died, Granddad lived with my folks.  He and I
	were sitting on the front porch drinking lemonade one afternoon
	when a man came up the walk and asked for money for some charity.
	Granddad gave him ten dollars and the last glass of lemonade in the
	pitcher.  When the man had gone, I decided to tease Granddad a
	little, so I said, "Wasn't it enough that you gave away ten dollars
	that you have a lot more use for than some charity?  Did you have to
	give away the last of the lemonade, too?"

	    He said, "I can't think of anything	I've got that I can't spare
	a little of for a worthy purpose."

	    I sure do miss him.

    What a teriffic person he was.  I have always suspected my "wonder
    years" would have been more wonder filled if my grandparents had
    been around.  When I watch my parents with my neices and nephews
    I get a little tight in the throat.  Especially when my father is
    playing with them.  I not jealous of them at all.  Just very glad
    that they all are having a good time that they will remember for 
    a lifetime.   
    I'm glad you shared your memories of your grandfather with us.  
    	Peggy

    
    
    	Yes, I too can relate very well to the situation of fathers
    	being quite different in their ways with their grandchildren.
    	My father is a prime example, but for me and my 3 brothers it
    	is good to see him like that - no bad feelings, although we
    	never had much of the same from him.
    
    	I think Dad never realised more how different his attitude was
    	than on this Sunday afternoon when everybody was home for tea.
    	He was lying in the grass and had all 3 (then) of his grand-
    	children crawling all over him, pulling his ears, messin'-up 
    	his hair and whatever else they did. His 4 sons were just 
    	standing there watching him. You should have seen his face when
    	he turned over and saw us ..... he realy looked like a kid caught
    	with his hand in the cookie jar ! Priceless !! And a moment never
    	to forget.
    
    	Bottom line is that it's good to see him in that role and we all
    	agree that we're happy for the kids they get to know him like
    	that.

    Both my grandfathers were in their 70's when I became old enough to
    realize who they were.  Most of my memories of them are of how sick
    they were or how they would put my parents through such problems
    because they were so demanding.  They were for the most part crotchety
    old Swedish people, set in their ways.  They loved me and my parents,
    although they didn't treat them very well.
    
    I still remember the time when my mother and I went food shopping and I
    saw this kid I knew from school.  We started talking and my mother and
    the woman he was with started talking, and then he told me she was his
    grandmother.  I was about 8 at the time and was flabbergasted.  I
    remember saying "She can't be your grandmother!  She's too young and
    she can walk around and do things!"  (Can you tell I had a warped view
    of the truth?)
    
    My father's father died 6 years ago yesterday, I believe.  The only
    time I remember ever seeing my father cry was at his funeral.  I left
    for college 5 days after that for my freshman year.  My parents had
    spend about 12 years caring for both sets of grandparents and my
    mother's father's twin sister.  I feel like I never really knew them
    though.  They were always too old and sick.  I still remember how my
    father's father would always tell me about his time in France in World
    War I "when I got a bit older."  
    
    
    I'm sorry if this is a bit random.  I'm just unloading thoughts here. 
    I don't know if there's a point to putting this all here, but I just
    felt compelled.  I think I feel somewhat between the viewpoints I've
    seen here so far.  I had my grandparents, but it was like they
    weren't there.
    
    <>Ken
    

    Like many other people that replied here, I never knew either of my
    grandfathers.  Also, my grandmothers were in Europe (my parents
    immigrated here) when I was growing up.  "Grandparents Day" at
    elementary school was alway rough on me, I almost wish they never
    had it.  My imaginary grandfather?  Probably Art Carney from the new
    Coke commercial where he portrays a granddad.
    
        - Larry