Conference quark::mennotes-v1

356.0. "Valuing Differences" by TLE::FISHER (Work that dream and love your life.) Wed Jun 21 1989 12:53

(Most of the information here was obtained when I took the two-day
course called "Affirmative Action University," which is a training for
Core Group leaders.  Core Groups are groups of 6-8 people who meet
once a month to work on their own racism, sexism, and homophobia.  The
idea is that, over the course of a few months, the group begins to
trust each other enough to be able to open up and do very risky and
personal work.) 

Valuing Differences is a personal philosophy, created by Digital
Equipment Corporation in the early Eighties, that is designed to aid
personal growth.  The idea behind the Valuing Differences philosphy is
for each individual to look inside themselves and to examine
attitudes, assumptions, and stereotypes about all differences.  The
idea is for each person to look inside her or himself, to solicit and
to give feedback, and to work on reducing the number of times that we
base business decisions--knowingly or unknowingly--on some stereotype
or assumption about a difference.  The end result should be an 
increase in effectiveness in dealing with people and in productivity. 

The steps that an individual takes towards valuing differences are as
follows: 

	o  Recognizing the difference

           "Oh, okay.  I get it. 'White men' are a group.  But so
            what?  Why should I look at my feelings about white men?"

	o  Understanding the difference

	   "Oh, okay.  I get it.  There are some things that white
	    men go through that are pretty much unique to white men.
	    Okay, I can understand some of the things that they go
	    through, but I still don't understand why I need to look
	    at how I feel about white men.  It isn't important to me."

	o  Accepting the difference

	   "Oh, okay.  I get it.  I find myself acting and reacting to
	    white men a certain way. It's subtle, but it's there.  I'm
	    ready to take a look at how I feel about white men and 
	    what some of my stereotypes and assumptions are."

	o  Valuing the difference

	   "You know, now that I think about it, there are some things
	    that white men go through that are really unique.  My team
	    can be a lot stronger if white men are able to be a part
	    of that team and can contribute some of the things that
	    they have learned by being part of that unique group 
	    called 'white men.'"

Some people think that folks can enter into and exit from any of these 
categories in any order.  I have a different opinion.  I see a 
necessary order.  (I find it hard to believe that someone can Value a 
difference if they cannot Recognize it.)	

Recognizing and Understanding are not too difficult, and AA/EEO
legislates that we at least recognize differences ("Okay, I'll meet my
quota" or "Okay, I won't harass them."). In between Understanding and
Acceptance is what I would call "tolerance." Understanding is what I
refer to as "logical" acceptance.  Accepting is what I refer to as
"emotional" acceptance. 

In my experience, Valuing is very rare. I have met only a handful of
strate people (Barbara Walker, Tom Couming, June Lemen, Mary Orcutt,
and Joann Moriss-Scott come to mind) who genuinely "value" my
difference as a gay man, in my opinion.  I see this in their
knowledge, comfort, and ability to seek out my knowledge and expertice
in areas that most strate people don't even Recognize that I have been
through; with these people, I feel that our sexual orientations "do
not make a difference," because the difference is fully appreciated
and integrated within the totality of our relationship.

In my opinion, it is a tough journey, and it is tough work.  It is 
also personal work.  In order for me to get enough information to
examine my own attitudes towards differences, I need to solicit and to
give feedback; according to the Johari Window principles (I'll give
more on this if people are interested), feedback works best when it is
both given and received in a polite way. 

For me to shout, "Value my difference!" is not appropriate and does
not have a place in the Valuing Differences work as defined by Digital
Equipment Corporation. 

Therefore, having someone key in the title "Valuing Differences goes 
both ways" in response to feedback that I was giving to someone is not 
in synch with the Valuing Differences program.  Valing Differences does 
not mean that I shut up when I am offended.  Valuing Differences does 
not mean that I should ignore my own anger.  Valuing Differences means 
that, in an attempt at my own personal growth, I should get and give 
feedback about how I am feeling, whenever I feel it would be useful.  
In the note about "real" women, I felt angry, and I gave that 
feedback.  I felt that I gave my feedback of anger in an appropriately 
polite way.  What that person choses to do with my feedback...well, 
it's up to him.  My only concern is that I am sharing, stretching, and 
growing in accordance with my principles.  And I think that I am doing 
that.


							--Ger

From:	WECARE::CRSMAINT "TRAINING * CINDY * 381-1213  04-Jan-1990 1004"  4-JAN-1990 10:24:05.50
To:	@SEC.DIS
CC:	
Subj:	Please forward to your group.  Thanx, Cindy.


This session is undersubscribed and I will be opening it up to non-
ZKO residents.  If you are interested and have not yet registered,
please do so immediately.


*********************************************************************

ARE THERE MALE-FEMALE DIFFERENCES IN THE WORKPLACE?

January 18, 1990, 10 a.m. - 12 noon, Cauchy Conference Room, ZK3-1

Maybe the debate over whether there are gender differences in the workplace
sidesteps a larger issue. Perhaps neither men nor women feel they get equal
return for what they contribute. This workshop will include an overview 
of the biology, sociology, and psychology of sex differences. It will address 
why men and women are rewarded differently and how to change inequitable 
outcomes. There will be a presentation of Sumru Erkut's research in the field 
of workplace gender differences, case presentations, as well as group and 
individual exercises. 

Sumru Erkut, PhD, is a visiting research scholar at Wellesley College
Center for Research on Women and co-editor of a book on daughters and 
mothers. She maintains a private practice in Cambridge.

    VALUING_DIVERSITY has been opened on:

    	MORO::FLSRV$USER:[BEELER_JE.NOTES]VALUING_DIVERSITY

    This conference will discuss any and all aspects of Digital's "Valuing
    Diversity" philosophy (formerly known as "Valuing Differences").

    In view of the fact that some issues can become ... emotional ...
    participants are forewarned that moderation of this conference
    will be quite rigid to insure compliance (both in spirit and to the
    letter) with Digital policy and the most recent correspondence from
    John Sim's office.

    Press <KP7> to add to your note book.
    
    Bubba