Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    	Hi Karen,
    
    	It's kind of hard for me to come up with suggestions for you,
    because much of my childhood was characterized by me having to put off
    what felt I wanted to do, to take care of my mother's feelings about
    it. In some aspects, this was *very* damaging to me.
    
    	Of course, some of her wisdoms proved to be _far_ superior to
    what I, in my infinite 18_year_old wisdom, was thinking at the time. 
    I have to admit, if it wasnt for "how Mom felt about it" I probably 
    wouldnt be in this chair right now typing this. God knows where I'd be...
    
    	I think what's best involves striking a balance between what's
    an appropriate (like that word) responsibility for each of you to
    take on to help his plans go the best. Come to an agreement, such
    as "He'll take responsibility for calling you every couple days" and
    "You'll take responsibility for handling that he's chosen not to
    stay with known family and friends - but you'll be getting a call". 
    
    	Or something like that.

    	Certainly, some of your wisdom like the "turning it into a pledge
    ride for some charity and possibly gaining media attention" idea
    is good stuff and he might indeed be better off in considering it.
    But, if this whole plan turns into something that revolves around
    your timetable to keep your feelings about it managable, then it's
    no longer really his trek to discover himself! I'm sure the both of you,
    through negotiation, can come to an agreement of what responsibilities
    to each other would be entirely appropriate for each of you - because 
    you care enough about each other enough to take them on.
    
    	Hope this helps,
    
    	Joe

    On the other hand, making him famous will generate attention from
    other sickos, so there may be no win.
    
    I'd recommend giving him the addresses and phone numbers of the
    people you know along the way and letting him go.
    
    There's a book called something like "A Walk Across America" by
    a guy who did just that.  You might be interested in reading it--he
    said that almost everyone me met was concerned about the danger,
    but that he always felt safe, and was constantly being invited
    to dinner and a place to stay overnight.
    
    		-John Bishop

    I feel much the same way about my daughter who graduated from college
    May 22, and 5 days later flew to Houston Texas without a home or a job.

    I want to protect her, I want to say that my little girl should never
    have been allowed to cross the street...

    You CAN'T forbid him. And if you try to, I feel that you will regret it
    the rest of your maternal life.
    
    Accept the anxiety and the anguish. If what I read is accurate, I feel
    that there is nothing you CAN do, except grit your teeth, hug him
    goodbye, and love him.
    I think it is absolutely wonderful that your son has sufficient
    self-confidence (even call it chutzpah) to do this. I think it will be
    a terrific experience for him. A kind of outward bound. Might he be
    hurt? He might. As parents we have that fear every time one of our kids
    does _anything_ for the first time. From the first time he got on a
    school bus, to the first time he ... Each first time is scary.
    So no, sorry, I can't help with your concern except to understand it
    and empathize.
    
    A footnote: by the time I was the age that high school graduates are
    now, I had been in the Navy for 18 months, and was getting ready to be
    transfered to Germany (as a damned spy of all things) for two years. 
    That was 36 years ago. I survived. And came home.
    
    p.s.
    
    By the way it is now 5 weeks that my daughter has been in Houston. She
    and her friend have an apartment, job prospects are beginning to filter
    in. She and her friend are getting into the social whirl through her
    friend's boyfriend, and she and her friend have not yet spent all the
    money they borrowed from their respective parents. (but she still did a
    YUCKY job of saying goodbye...)

    re:.0
    
    If you coddle and shelter him, he will never learn to be self-sufficient
    or to fend for himself, something everyone should learn as soon as it's
    practical.
    
    Trips like the one he's proposing build self confidence and courage.
    
    Worry if you must, but let him go.

    re.0
    You can't protect him forever and the world isen't quite as bad as you
    imagine. When I graduated from high school a friend and I hitchhiked
    out to California and my mother went thru the same thing.
    I came back alive appreciateing home a little bit better more sure of
    myself as a man and ready to tackle the world.
    
    Give your son some credit for being able to take care of himself at
    18 he is not worldly but he isen't stupid either.
    
    A few ideas that might make life easier for you both.
    1.Plan the route to include citys where you can send him mail
    general delivery this can be supplies he is unable to carry or
    just a card saying hi.
    2. While at the post office he can reply via a card or letter to
    let you know he is ok as well as allowing you to chart his progress
    across country.
    3. As a going away present give him a 1 way bus ticket home from
    his furthest planned destination that can be redeemed anywhere
    along the way "just in case".
    
    
    This could be your son's greatest adventure mine was I still
    look back at my month on the road as my single greatest period
    of personal growth and as my best vacation ever.
    
    Good luck,-j
    

    Don't know what to make of it but i'm interested that not one
    woman/mother has replied.
    
    
    				herb
    

    
    Well, being a man, herb, you'll probably make too much of it........
    
    
    
    -raq, who thinks Mom should let him go and give him a chance to grow up
          and experience life. 
    
    
    

    Thanks for your interest and response so far.  It does appear like I've
    miscommunicated my intent in the base note.
    
    I DO realize that it's time for me to let go.  I AM willing to give him
    the chance--whether or not he accepts any of the suggestions or offers
    of help I make.
    
    What I am asking is how can _I_ get more comfortable with the whole
    thing?  Mothers have been sending sons (and more recently daughters,
    too) off to war for ages.  HOW DO THEY DO IT?  How do they anesthetize
    themselves against the minute-by-minute concern for their safety?  How
    do they continue to live somewhat normal lives while their hearts and
    their thoughts are with the loved one?
    
    Karen

    Karen,
    I wish I could answer those questions for you.  My son joined the Air
    Force within a month after graduating from high school.  I cried like a
    baby when he went off to boot camp.  I had nightly dreams about all of
    the horrible things I had ever heard about boot camp.  He survived just
    fine.  He's been gone for almost 2 years now and I still go into small
    panic attacks when I haven't heard from him in a while.  It does get
    easier on you after some time goes by and you see that he can survive
    on his own (even though you don't have to like it)  ;^)
    
    Marie

    re 1279.7

    did you forget a smiley face?
    
    
    				
    				herb

    
    Here's an answer from a woman :^)
    
    but I'm not a parent so I don't know if it really counts!
    
    
    One thing I think I would do, is give him a telephone calling card.
    That way he can call you if he needs to and on some reasonable schedule
    to make you feel better.
    
    I don't know how to convince someone that knowing their whereabouts is
    important.  I know that when I was 18, I never could have imagined that 
    people would worry about me disappearing or being hurt when I was out by
    myself...and I don't think telling him about it will make it any more
    real, it's something that hits you when you are older.  
    
    Maybe you could work from the other side...you need to keep regular 
    contact with him because there might be an emergency at home that he 
    would want to be informed of? 
    
    Good luck to both of you!
    Barbara
    
    
    
    
    

    My suggestion is more extreme than Barbara's:
    
    Get him a cellular phone that you pay for, and (metaphorically) duct
    tape it to his chest.  He can now not only call home from 'most
    anywhere, but he can call for an ambulance from a ditch, which is
    the sort of thing you're probably worried about.
    
    Also, point out to him that he can call *during* an emergency, when
    his thinking might not be, ah, perfect (Mine isn't.), and get a
    sympathetic ear, and perhaps some ideas, such as a pointer to a
    resource that he hadn't learned existed.  (If you think you might
    panic, cheerfully inform him of this, and give him the phone number
    of some knowledgable, phlegmatic person of your aquaintance.)
    
    						Ann B.

    This is hard to admit in public, ;'), but that's an excellent idea ...

    	From someone who hitchiked hundreds of thousands of miles back in
    the good old days:  The dangers are greatly overstated.  It is easy to
    get the idea that the world is a dangerous place from reading the
    newspapers.  What you have to remember is that they don't tell you
    about the vast majority of cases where everyone has a positive
    experience.  
    	My advice would be to make sure that he is aware of the the kind of
    people who may want to take advantage of him.  (18 year olds often have
    some major gaps in their database.)  Also suggest that he reserve
    judgement about people he meets for some time period (like a day or
    two).  
    						John
    

    Re. .12 and .13--cellular phone
    
    OK, I don't know beans about cellular phones.
    	1.  Are they heavy?  (Weight is an issue due to all the equipment
    	    he expects to carry.)
    	2.  Are there distance limitations to their reach?  (Some parts of
    	    the country are quite a distance from the nearest town, never
    	    mind the nearest city of any size.)
    	3.  Any idea of that something like this would cost?  (I'd like to
    	    be able to say money is no object when it comes to David's 
            safety; unfortunately DEC's fortunes, and mine as they are
    	    entertwined, could make money a big issue in the future.)
    
    Thanks for the ideas/replies, both here an through mail.  I'm finding
    some measure of comfort here!
    
    Karen
         

    
    	A phone calling card and a VISA card...  That way he *could* rent
    	a car if he desired, get a hotel room, pay for an emergency... Oh,
    	don't forget the insurance card too.
    
    	You might want to look in the bicycle notesfile.  9641::BICYCLE

    
    .10 (herb)
    
    Only if I wasn't serious..............
    
    -raq

    You could also ask him for a (short) list of "checkpoints" along the route,
    and approximate dates for his arrival at each, so you could wire money or 
    messages or send mail (poste restante).  Request that he not leave each 
    checkpoint until after the agreed-upon date, so that anything you send 
    can actually reach him.  Then publicize the list to some of his friends 
    as well, and send stuff!  He'll probably come to appreciate it once his
    trip is underway, and might be more likely to drop you an occasional
    postcard if there's communication going the other way as well.

         Sharon
    

    I don't know why you reacted to my reply as you did, but i'll acknowledge
    that your entries made me angry (in case that was a goal).
    
    I wish you had had the maturity to state straight-forwardly what is
    bothering you, rather than sucker punching me like that.
    
    				herb

    I say keep trying to reinforce the charity bit.  The visability would
    be there and not only will his personal satisfaction be granted due to
    independent survival but also by the wonderful gift he will be giving
    to someone needy.
    
    Katrina

    
     I would nix the charity idea. If it was something he was interested in
    doing, he would have said so. From the original note, I get the idea
    that this guy wants to ride across country to explore himself and the
    country. Publicity about his trip may just add an extra burden and
    resentment that his home ties are still trying to maintain a hold on
    him that he doesn't want. Charity involvement would probably involve
    contact with the home base, which the rider has already said he didn't
    want hovering over his head, on at least a semi-regular basis.
     Also consider that the majority of this ride will be through rural
    America. My experiance has led me to believe that most people outside
    of major metropolitan areas are a great deal more considerate to
    travelers than vice-versa. Polite manners and a good demeaner will get
    this young man more hospitality than he could experiance anywhere else
    at anytime. Youth hostels across the country will yeild much help and
    many friendships along the way.
    
    Tony
    

    	A cellular phone is a nice idea, but I'm not sure it's practical in
    this case.  As a cyclist, weight is *indeed* a factor, not to mention
    bulk.  It so happens I've seen a cellular phone advertised for cyclists
    which was quite small and light, but it was *very* expensive (like near
    $1000).  However this doesn't take into account the extra batteries
    you'd need.


    	My advice would be to ask him to check in every couple of days from
    a pay phone.  The calling card and credit card are good ideas.  This
    doesn't seem terribly intrusive on him, and would assuage your need to
    know he's okay.  If I was a teenager doing this, I wouldn't have a
    problem with it.



    Brian

    As I said in my mail, I'll send you a copy of my recap of my recent
    semi-transcontinental tour (NH-WI).
    
    1. I (modestly?) state that I am an experienced cyclist, having logged
    more than 10000 miles /year a few times.
    
    2. I know the rules of the road and obey them.  When it was likely
    that some ^&*(^^(& would challenge for the right of way, I yielded
    but generally once you get beyond Massachusetts, motorist know the
    rules of the road and obey them.
    
    3. I used county roads where possible -- rather than US and State
    numbered roads.  Excellent maps are available through Bikecentennial.
    
    4. Tens of thousands of cyclists do this every year.  Many go coast
    to coast.  If he can find a buddy to go with him, I hope that will
    make your anguish lessen.
    
    5. My goal was always to start early and finish early -- especially
    on Fridays and Saturdays -- to minimize the likelihood of problems
    with driver impairment.
    
    There are hundreds of millions of friendly Americans out there.
    
    ed

>In short, I don't want to forbid him to go.  But I desperately need to get
>myself more comfortable with the prospect.

Karen,

I'd suggest two things. One, ask him to carry his name, address, and
home phone number somewhere in addition to his wallet.  Maybe a small 
plate on the bottom of the bike?  Two, how about some good fast 
lessons in self-defense. Perhaps you could find (or have him find)
a street fighting expert to give private lessons. True, he probably 
will not need it, but the knowledge is always handy.

I hitchhiked from Pittsburg to Miami many years ago. Most people
were very kind and helpful.  A few posed did pose danger but
I had a scapel and a small gun in my pocket.  Never needed to use 
either, but having them made *me* feel much better. I did pull them
out of my pocket twice, and the situation improved. 

And the trip ... well, I was 22 and had a deep need for a big
adventure.  If I did it again, I would be armed to the teeth and know
a hell of a lot more about self defense.  I also think I would carry
one of those "lost plane" beacons or something that works like that. 

I think you are a sweetie and very understanding to not forbid him
to take the trip.  And asking him to exercise caution and some plans
is not being overbearing. He is, IMHO, being overly romantic 
about maintaining telephone silence. 

Hope he has a safe and good trip.  Meigs

 
    About the quick self-defense lessons, don't bother with a crash
    course, he's more likely to be a danger to himself.  If he stays in
    motel/hotels along the way, eats in public dining establishments,
    and is not too trusting of strangers that he meets along the way, he
    should be fine.  If he gets in a jam, he can call home.  If he doesn't
    have money or loses his wallet, he can call collect.  I'm sure he'll be
    fine.
    
       - Larry

    re:.26
    
    Ditto on the quickie self-defense courses (and many of the longer
    courses, too).
    
    Biggest waste of money since pet rocks.  And at least with a pet rock,
    you could potentially clobber the guy.

    The weapons are a bad idea, too - especially if he doesn't know how
    to use them and is not prepared to use them without hesitation.
    These days knives, and even guns, have much less of an intimidation
    factor than they did even five years ago.

I have two daughters, both over 20 now, and can only speak from my
own experience. Your son's mileage may vary. 

First - I would never forbid (or even deter) them from taking such a
trip. Never did. Even when one chose to hitch hike all over Europe
and the other packed up and moved to Israel. 

Second - I did explain that their mother is concerned and that
they'd better keep her posted on developments on a weekly basis.
Both kids were brought up to ALWAYS call when expected to be late
home by more than 2 minutes and both presented no problem. 

So, one is still living in Israel, on a permanent basis. The other
is living in SF. Both still call mom on a weekly basis, even when
they do not need money. By now, mom is no longer concerned... 

-- Ron 

Wow, what marvelous support and suggestions.  I've written a response to each
of your replies, but decided no one would want to read  a 400+ line reply.
Nevertheless, I really appreciate the moral support that's been pouring in,
and it has been VERY helpful.

Briefly, here are some comments about points raised in the previous replies:

I'm trying to avoid any pressure on David to revise his plans to allay my 
fears.  I truly want David to do whatever it is he wants in life.  I see this 
trip as one means for him to _discover_ what that is.  The replies here, and 
others I've seen recently in related topics, have suggested that I may be 
doing David a disservice by even expressing my concerns to him.  I certainly 
hope not.  I guess I need to discuss with him the twin necessities of his 
pursuing his dreams and my worring like a mother! 8-}

Re. the book called something like "A Walk Across America," is this the 
same fellow who published his story in installments in the Worcester 
papers about 5-6 years ago?  If so, I followed his walk with interest. In 
fact, David did also, and this guy may be part of the inspiration behind 
David's plans.  It is a good account of the friendliness and helpfulness I 
hope David encounters on his journey.

Thanks to a suggestion I read elsewhere, we've agreed that David can 
call/write home for a bail-out level help of (i.e., money) twice.  The third 
    time that becomes necessary (or WHENEVER he decides he needs/wants it), I 
    wire him the money for a one-way ticket home.

Re. the suggestion for a telephone calling card: I've received a suggestion
that we get an AT&T Call Me card that will allow him to call home (but not 
elsewhere) at less expense than a collect call. I'm checking into this option.

My concern about his carrying credit cards of any type is the ease with 
which they're lost or stolen.  But the advantages they offer may overcome my 
concern.  Now, would YOU entrust your credit line and rating to an 18-year-
old away from home???  (Remember, he can't support a credit account on his 
own!)

>   Maybe you could work from the other side...you need to keep regular 
>   contact with him because there might be an emergency at home that he 
>   would want to be informed of? 
 
Hmmm, appeal to his concern for us rather than imposing our concern for him?  
It might work!

Re. (metaphorically) taping a cellular phone to his chest: I had a good laugh
over my mental picture of ACTUALLY--no metaphorically about it--duct taping a 
phone (in my imagination, one of those heavy, old military field units) to 
him and insisting he carry it throughout the trip.  Then I imagined his 
trying to riiiip it off when he needed to use it.  Ouch!
   
>  You might want to look in the bicycle notesfile.  9641::BICYCLE

Thanks for the pointer.  I've posted a modified version of the base note 
there and am receiving terrific advice.

Re. checkpoints along the way: I'll try to make it sound like a request, but 
we'll both know he'd better not leave the county without leaving me an 
itinerary!

>   Then publicize the list to some of his friends 
>   as well, and send stuff!  He'll probably come to appreciate it once his
>   trip is underway, and might be more likely to drop you an occasional
>   postcard if there's communication going the other way as well.

	Good idea!  And a possible way around his needing a credit card.

>   I'm sure they were scared out of their
>   minds while I was gone, but they never showed that to me.  I'm glad
>   because I would have thought that they didn't trust that I could take
>   care of myself, regardless of whether I could or not.
 
But that's just it; I don't trust that he can take care of himself in all 
possible situations.  I don't think ANYONE can take care of themselves at 
all times.  It's not a matter of trusting him; I know he is a _relatively_
mature_18-year-old.  He's shown he can handle some tough situations capably.  
But he just doesn't have the experience with the world (especially the dark 
side of it) that he may need to travel solo in as vulnerable a mode as he's 
chosen.  The good news is that due to responses to my postings here and in
the Bicycle conference, I'm now aware that there will be other cyclists
traveling the same routes and, presumably, ample opportunity for him to 
link up with more experienced travelers along the way.  Maybe I'm too trusting
myself, but I have to believe that cyclists are wholesome, supportive
individuals, much like DEC noters!  8-)
   
>   The thing is, and I mean no disrespect when I say this, but this trip
>   is not about you.  He is probably somewhat concerned about how you
>   feel, but I doubt if that concern is first priority. 
	
Believe it or not, I agree with you, and I even agree that that's how it 
should be.  HE should be his priority, not ME.  But at the same time dealing 
with my feelings is one of my priorities.  Rather than hounding him with my 
worries, I've come here for advice and some hand holding precisely because I 
don't want to burden him with those worries.  (OK, OK, so I'm burdening you 
instead, I know.  Hey, sometimes life is tough!  8-))

Re. excellent maps are available through Bikecentennial: That's it!  Yes, 
that's the group he's bought maps from.  And supplemented with AAA maps of 
each of the states he's going through PLUS supplemented with campground and 
state and national park guides.  He realizes he won't be able to carry all 
this with him, but is using it in the planning phase.

Especially to those of you who have responded from your own experience, 
thanks. That's the type of sharing I came here for! All of your comments 
have helped to ease my concern and will be passed along to David for his 
consideration.  Thanks!

And I'll keep you posted with the results, too.

Regards,
Karen                                      

    
    	RE: credit card
    
    	Get one with both your names for a small limit... i.e. $500???
    	Or even less...
    
    	/mjf

    1. Rent "Deliverance" and make him watch it a few times.
    2. Buy him a can of Mace (through the mail).
    3. If he has never been away from home this long, remind him of little
    things like: what happens if he gets sick? who will do his laundry?
    what will happen if all his money is stolen? 
    
    I mean, is this kid being realistic? has he gone on lengthy bicycle
    trips before with clubs? Can't you persuade him to do a small trip with
    a group first? just to try it out before he goes alone?

    
    Send him on his way with a smack on the bum and tell him not to 
    ride like a knucklehead.
    
    these are  once in a lifetime legendary experiences; i rode from 
    Monterey to Los Angeles one year about 15 years ago and from Frankfurt 
    to Prague in Aug. '89.
    
    Made many friends and met lots of interesting folks. 
    

    
    re: credit cards....
    
    Citibank now offers credit cards with pictures on them.  Get one in
    both names and have the pictures put on.  That way, if the card gets
    stolen, no one else can use it.
    

    
    	re: -.1
    
    	They can still use in over the phone...
    
    	/MJF

Thanks to the supportive replies as I've received here and in the BICYCLE
conference, my fears around David's cross-country trip have been greatly 
allayed.  I've shared your pointers with him.  Some I'm insisting we 
implement.  Some he's considering.  Others he's choosing to ignore.  But 
I've learned that's life with an 18-year-old!  8-}

With your indulgence, I'd like to use this string to provide periodic updates
of his adventure.  I suspect that your moral support will be welcome as the
trip becomes more and more a reality!

David's plans are moving forward, despite a set-back or two.  He spent the
last two weeks touring Cape Cod by bicycle with other members of his church
youth group.  Their tents, food, etc. were carried for them by van, so
the trip, while covering a significant distance, was relatively burden-less 
for him.  Someone stole his quick-release seat and the tool kit attached
to it at one of their stops.  He immediately replaced the seat with one that's
teathered to the bike frame, but the tool kit will be sorely missed until he
can come up with the $$ to replace it.  So he's learning the hard way that 
protecting his gear from theft will have to become a full-time concern--
especially when he's traveling solo!  Other than that, the only bicycle-
related problem he had over the two weeks was a sore bum; he's planning on 
buying some padded cycling shorts this week.

This weekend he will be doing the Pan Mass Challenge--a 200 mile pledge
ride.  It will be a good test of the benefits of cycling shorts _and_ his
endurance over a longer per-day haul than he's previously experienced.  Once
again, however, the heavy stuff will be transported for him.

I have full confidence he'll meet this weekend's challenge.  Not so sure 
about me, though.  Looks like I'll have to get up at about 3:00 Saturday 
morning to get him to the starting point!

The things we do for our children---

Karen  

    Karen,
    
    my Husband and I are moving to Tacoma in September, so if you send me
    your Address, I will send you mine in return and your son can stay with
    us for some days.
    
    Silvia

    Well, David's on his way.  He left Worcester Monday morning, with just
    a few tears shed by Mom after he rode off.  I've felt a bit down ever
    since, but guess that's to be expected when one's baby flys away from
    the nest for the last time.
    
    He called from Pomfret, CT. Monday evening, very tired and somewhat
    discouraged.  He's carrying quite a load (tent, sleeping bag, clothing,
    food, cooking gear, tools and supplies for standard bike repairs,
    etc.). He reported that it felt like he'd been going up hill all day. 
    He welcomed a four-mile down-hill stretch--until he reached the bottom
    and realized he had taken a wrong turn and now had to ride back up-hill
    that four miles!  I was a bit afraid he would feel discouraged enough
    to turn around and come back.
    
    Then I didn't hear from him again until this morning!  What a relief to
    hear his voice, this time from Bloomington, NY.  He spent last night in
    a motel, so didn't get soaked by the line of thunderstorms moving
    through the area yesterday and last night.  He says he's been riding
    with a couple of others who are temporarily following the same section 
    of the route on their trip from Maine to Florida.  The three spent the
    night before in a bed-and-breakfast, where David was given a room for
    free!  Can't beat that price for a warm bed and a roof over your head!
    
    So he's on his way.  He expects to arrive at my parents' home in Lamar,
    Colorado, by mid-October.  He'll spend the winter there and continue on
    to the Pacific coast of Oregon in the spring.
    
    Greatly relieved this morning,
    Karen

    David called from Pennsylvania early yesterday morning--just north of
    Philadelphia.  He was hoping to get around the city during the lighter-
    traffic Sunday hours and find a good camping spot where he could get a 
    day's rest today.
    
    Apparently the campground guide he used in planning his trip was out of
    date, in spite of being the 1992 version!  Two of the six campgrounds
    he counted on for his first week of the trip were closed and had been
    for more than a year!
    
    He's tired--had hoped to have his one-day-a-week rest Sunday, but lack
    of a good camping site ruined that plan--but in pretty good spirits. 
    He admits the trip is proving to be more difficult than he'd
    anticipated, but he's certainly not ready to call it quits.
    
    As for mom, she's handling all this much better than she expected, as
    long as David calls in at least every other day.  And I sure hope God
    was watching and put a nice gold star next to my name when I decided
    that I could/should call David's father (we've been unamicably divorced 
    for 11 years) and let him know the kid is safe.
    
    Till the next update....
    Karen

    Well, David's checking in with me approximately every other day.
    Unfortunately, his call-in schedule hit my away-from-the-phone schedule
    just perfectly last week, so I missed two of his three calls. The
    message he left on the answering machine early in the week was next to
    useless: "Hi. I'm OK and I'm still alive. Goodbye."
    
    Thankfully he wised up before his next call and left a bit more detail,
    at least enough for us to locate him on the map.
    
    Perhaps it's just as well that we didn't connect until Saturday. In the
    interim he passed through Washington DC, the only city of major size
    he'll be going _through_ on this trip.  As of Saturday he had reached
    Ashland, VA, and is now headed west instead of south.  The Appalachians
    are ahead, but he says he's doing pretty good, except for a few days of
    hot weather last week.  He is about two days behind his planned
    schedule, in spite of riding more miles per day than he'd planned.
    Apparently he'd underestimated the distances between points! He'd
    planned to ride 70 miles/day and has done several 100-plus-mile days.
    It's taking a toll on his right knee, which caused him some pain but
    apparently didn't slow him down much late in the week.
    
    He's stayed in motels several times recently, due, he says, to the heat
    he was encountering.  He's not budgetted for so many motel stays, but
    didn't seem too concerned about the $$ at this point. Maybe he knows
    something I don't? Not only is this trip a good lesson in navigation; 
    it's also going to be an excellent lesson in budgeting, both time and 
    money.
    
    Following suggestions received here and in BICYCLING notes, he's
    equipped with a low-credit-limit credit card (with bills to come to me
    8-}) and Ron's and my telephone credit card for long-distance calls. 
    He also set up General Delivery mail drops two to three days apart all
    along the route, so we're keeping the cards and letters coming and he
    has no excuse for not calling home.
    
    Until the next report,
    Karen
    

    I'm glad to hear everything is going okay so far, Karen.  I have to
    admit, that although I miss Melissa (my daughter) off to her freshman
    year in college, I am *very* glad she's at Boston College and not
    cycling across country!!
    
    Lorna
    

    Nine days off his planned schedule, David's made it through the
    Appalacians and is headed west through Kentucky.  After a week of
    missing his calls (fortunately he left meaningful messages this time!),
    we finally spoke with each other Wednesday evening.  The weather's
    turned cold, and his feet are taking the brunt of it. The crazy kid
    took long underwear with him but didn't take any socks!  And heaven
    knows, he can't stop and buy a pair or two at any K-Mart he passes; he
    has to wait until he finds a bicycle shop (apparently few and far
    between in Kentucky) to get special bicycling socks!
    
    Anyway, he was in Boonville, KY, Wednesday night, staying in a
    $20/night motel and having an "excellent" $2.85 dinner in a local
    restaurant.  
    
    He's still in good spirits.  He did admit, though, that once he 
    completes his west coast tour, he'd probably catch a plane and fly 
    back to Massachusetts.  Next summer will tell.
    
    Thanks for the notes of support, both here and in mail.  It's nice to
    know others are interested in following David's adventure.  8-)
    
    Karen                     

    Unfortunately, just any "bicycle sock" won't do either.
    It's largely a matter of fit, but material enters into it too
    and what's good for the American Standard Two Hour Athlete
    might not be good for the All Day Cross Country Tourist.
    Hopefully he buys at least 3 pair and washes them out well.
    
    ed

    Thanks for the tip, ed.  I'll pass it along if I get the chance
    before David finds a bicycle shop.  According to his call yesterday,
    he's within a day or two of a good bicycle shop in southern Illinois.
    
    Fortunately, he's been encountering warmer weather in the last several
    days--riding in tank top and shorts late last week.
    
    From the sounds of it, he's slacking off on cooking his own meals a
    bit.  Never terribly imaginative about foods, he's getting pretty tired
    of spaghetti, especially since he only eats it with tomato sauce and
    never liked it much to begin with.  He also says he's getting pretty
    tired of falafal and tabouleh (sp?), two staples he'd planned to eat
    frequently (light to carry; easy to fix)!  He does speak fondly of 
    "garlic bread" made by toasting bagles and spreading them with 
    butter/margarine and a liberal sprinkling of garlic salt.  I wouldn't be 
    surprised if he were spreading everything with a layer of peanut butter!
    
    Being tired of his own cooking, eating in restaurants more often than 
    planned, and more motel stays are causing him to go through his budget 
    faster than expected.  But so far he hasn't used the "emergency" credit
    card, nor has he asked for $$ from home.
     
    He keeps assuring me that the further west he goes, the more 
    opportunities he'll find for camping.  Time will tell.
    
    Many thanks to you who've sent words of encouragement via mail.
    
    Karen

    
    Karen,
    
    	Just wanted to let you know that I am thoroughly enjoying the
    updates on your son's trip.  Thank you for putting them in, in the
    detail that you do.
    
    Faith
    

    re -1
    
    Yes, me too.... I took a trek once from San Francisco to San Diego
    in California when I was about his age.  
    
    (About 400 miles or so)
    
    But never anything like this.
    
    
    Skip

    Quick update: heard from David last night from "somewhere south of St.
    Mary's, Missouri."  So he crossed the Mississippi River yesterday, and
    in my mind is now on the "home stretch" to Colorado.
    
    He was very tired; had ridden 73 miles yesterday with a combined
    headwind and heavy truck traffic.  Had a tough time keeping the bike on
    the road!  We didn't talk long enough to learn any other details about
    his trip; he was just too tired and wanted to get fed and then to bed.
    
    Two --BIG-- states to go, and then approx. 50 miles in Colorado and
    he's "home"!
    
    Karen

    Karen, as you know this is my daughter's first year away at college,
    and even though she is only in Boston, less than an hour from home, I'm
    still having problems adjusting to not seeing her on a daily basis. 
    Well, I saw her last weekend and told her about your son's trip, and I
    told it made me feel thankful that she was only going to school in
    Boston and not riding a bike across country.  I, also, said that, even
    though I usually feel men and women should have the same options, I
    would have tried to stop her from doing it, if she had wanted to do
    something like that.  Well, she put up her hand, and said, in an
    emphatic voice, "Mom!  Don't worry.  I will NEVER want to ride a
    bicycle across the Unites States!"  and then started laughing, adding
    "THAT is one thing *you* will NEVER have to worry about!"  Maybe you
    had to be there, but it was sort of funny.  :-)
    
    Meanwhile, I'm glad things are going well for your son.
    
    Lorna
    

    Re. last several--thanks for letting me know you're following the
    string.  Maybe David's trip will inspire someone else???
    
    And, Lorna, give Melissa a big hug the next time you see her; she can
    have all the vicarious hugs I can't give David!  
    
    The worry has become a dull, background ache.  But the missing is 
    sharp and everpresent. Like Lorna said elsewhere, I can't believe that 
    a woman who has made her own life and followed her own goals for many 
    years can still suffer so from empty-nest syndrome. But it's true!
    
    Thanks, all.
    Karen
         

    Another call yesterday, this time from Alley Springs, Missouri--in the
    middle of the Ozarks!  Here we all though David had cleared all the
    mountains he was going to encounter until Spring!  
    
    Anyway, his timing is awful.  He's running short of money and wants to 
    push ahead as fast as reasonable, but there's a scheduled mail stop 
    just 20 miles down the road, and Monday is a holiday!  So, rather than 
    pushing on, he'll be resting and hanging out in the local park (free 
    camping, but no shower facilities, according to the biking maps) for a 
    day and a half.
    
    David estimates he has another two weeks to journey's end.  He's
    hanging in there and says he's still enjoying it, even though he's
    tired and broke.
    
    Now, how can I get a cashier's check to his next mail stop--approx.
    four to five days away--when the banks are closed today and I'm
    supposed to be in training tomorrow???
    
    Or should I?????
    
    Karen  

    Didn't you give him a credit card for emergencies?  Have him pop it
    into an ATM and get a cash advance.  That should work 24 hours a day,
    7-days a week.
    
    Or, there's probably a Western Union office in the next town on his
    route.  Here's the info from the yellow pages:
    
      Western Union
       to find the nearest money transfer location:  1-800-325-6000
       for credit card money transfers:              1-800-225-5227
      
    
    -- Jeff

    Thanks for the numbers, Jeff.  Yes, David has a credit card for
    emergencies; maybe I emphasized "emergencies" too much with him.  He
    hasn't used it yet.  But then, maybe he hasn't really encountered an
    emergency, either.  He knows it can be used at ATMs, and I hope
    he'd have enough sense to use it if the situation warrants.
    
    Actually, what I was considering was a small gift--a surprise from Mom
    out of the blue, sort of a green care package.  But then I remembered 
    that most irresponsible grown-ups have a bail-em-out parent somewhere 
    in their past.  I don't want to encourage David, even subtly, to make 
    unrealistic plans based on his expectation that Mom will bail him out 
    when things get tough.  On the other hand, I'd like for him to be able 
    to buy a nice meal and stay in a warm place "on Mom" as an encouraging 
    gesture on my part. 
    
    I've been having this discussion with myself for the last month.  Now 
    where is that "how to" book on parenting?  I must have misplaced it 
    somewhere. 8-)
    
    Karen         

    re .53, I'd vote for the show of support by sending the money this
    time, especially since it will be the first time this trip.
    
    (I agree that kids who are bailed out too often can become spoiled and
    irresponsible, but sometimes I think that people who never receive a
    helping hand from anyone can become embittered and equally screwed up
    in other ways.  Not that I think your son is in any danger of that.  I
    don't.  It's just a thought.)
    
    Lorna
    

    Might I suggest waiting a while longer, until he really needs the
    support?  I think the gesture would have more significance then, and 
    he would be more inclined to stretch out what he has now.
    
    I know that may sound cruel, but part of the challenge of taking a 
    trip like this is to be able to relie on your own skills and cleverness
    at resolving problems.  As near as I can come to explaining it, is 
    it's a 'right to passage' into manhood, and he DOES have the credit 
    card still in case he really needs help.  
    
    It's just my view of it.
    
    Skip

    re .55, yeah, but if he can't afford a hotel room, and gets knocked
    over the head, and robbed while he's sleeping outdoors some night, she
    may wish she had sent the money.  That's not the type of 'right to
    passage' to manhood I'd want for my kid.  The first thing I want for my
    kids are to make sure they have a place to sleep and food to eat.
    
    Just a thought.
    
    Lorna
    

    You've a good point Lorna, but the whole intent of doing this on his
    own was just that... doing it on his own.  Provisions were made to take 
    care of emergency needs.  I don't know if he's asked for additional
    help.  If so, then it's a judgement call.  But the fate you've
    described is just as likely as being hit by a car as he pedals down a
    road.  And now that we've put the worst fears possible into his
    mother's mind.  I didn't say DON'T send it, I said wait, let him 
    have a chance to prove his own resoursful ness a bit first.  He isn't 
    in critical need of money yet, and he DOES have the card incase he is.
    
    He's just begaining to experience some difficulties and hasn't reached 
    the point where he's decided to chuck it all away and buy a bus ticket 
    home.  There's a certain amount of self pride and self dignity found 
    in accomplishing something on one's own.  And you learn a few things 
    about yourself when you're faced with adversity.  I know, I've gone 
    through as much adversity as I care to.  The thing is, you learn that 
    what you thought was your limit, isn't.  You can go farther then you 
    think.  
    
    I just feel from my own perspective and the fact that I accomplished 
    a 400 mile bike trek across california at the age of 16, that NOW 
    wouldn't be the time to send him a little extra help.  Let him 
    accomplish something, then offer the reward.  (Granted he's already 
    accomplished quite a bit!) 
    
    As I said, it was my own perceptions of what he's doing and perhaps a 
    little insight as to how HE is viewing his odyssey.  
    
    Skip

    Yeah, too bad there's not a war going on somewhere.  Then maybe he
    could enlist and become a real man.
    
    To paraphrase from a topic, about the Marines, in another conference, "We
    learn from experience, if we survive the experience."
    
    Lorna
    

    Well, thanks for the suggestions and advice.  There's a cashier's check
    on its way (US Mail) to his first mail stop in Kansas.  That should
    give him about four days of scrimping and/or odd-jobbing before he gets
    it.  I don't think he'll starve or anything, but I do feel good about
    being able to help him out.
    
    Karen

I wish him luck in cashing that check in a strange city with no bank account...

			Steve

    
    	And as my personal mail name states...
    
    	"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

    Ummm guys, Western Union will cash the check, via a variety of methods,
    Including him going in and simply stating his name and address and 
    giving them a pre-arranged password.  
    
    Skip

    Cashiers checks are supposed to be like traveler's checks--guaranteed
    by the issuing bank, so absolutely safe for a bank/restaurant/store to
    accept and cash.  In theory, all one needs is identification that they
    are, in fact, the person who's supposed to be cashing it.
    
    Karen

No - a cashier's check is a check that's guaranteed not to bounce, as long as
it is properly issued.  But otherwise it's like any other check and could be
forged.  Most banks will refuse to cash checks of any sort for non-customers;
many people have problems cashing government checks.  There's also the
issue of proving that the person cashing it is indeed the person to whom it
is made out.

A traveller's check is "safer" for the recipient as they can be more certain
that the check is legitimate (though some businesses will require the same
sort of authorization as a personal check) and they know that a major company
will stand behind it.  Ditto a money order (Western Union or Post Office).
But a cashier's check from a distant bank is "just another check" to most
banks and they won't cash them for non-customers (and may put a hold on the
funds for customers).

				Steve

    Well, Steve, I hope that your "most banks" statement doesn't apply once
    one gets past the deep distrust and hard-nosed nastiness typical of the
    New England banks I've done business with. He'll be in rural Kansas by 
    the time he receives the check. Maybe they'll be a bit more humane than
    "most" eastern banks.
    
    If not, David will just have to make that ATM withdrawal (if he can
    find an ATM in rural Kansas) and wait until he gets to my folks, where
    his grandparents can testify to his honesty and identity at the local 
    bank.
    
    Karen
    
    PS - David's father sent a cashier's check earlier in the trip; I
    believe David cashed that one in either Virginia or Kentucky. Also, he's 
    had no difficulty using his traveler's checks.
    

    Karen,
    
    From personal experience, if you call Western Union and have the money 
    sent (This I did just last month to pay for a truck to someone in 
    New Mexico) your son can go into ANY Western Union to receive the 
    money order... the Western Union will CASH the money order WITHOUT 
    I.D. if you instruct them to do so using a password.  Send your son 
    mail saying he has a money order waiting at Western Union and to 
    receive it he needs to use his name and some password that you give
    him.  They will immediatly cash it up to about 500 dollars I believe.
    (You can check on the actual amount with them).  
    
    As I said, I did this just last month to a gentalman in New Mexico from 
    Here at DEC Credit Union in Merrimack.  No fuss, no hassle, although 
    he WILL need to know where the money order was sent from.  
    
    This is a service WU has been providing since they changed their system 
    from a location to location sending system to a general open 'net'
    wherein the person who gets the money order needs only to go to any 
    Western Union and they can find out if there's a money order for him on 
    their system.  
    
    I've used it in the past to bail my brother out of troulbe and most 
    recently to pay for a truck in New Mexico while still out here.  The 
    man wanted 'cash only' and this seemed the safest, easiest way to do
    it.
    
    Skip

    Thanks, Skip.  I'll keep that in mind for the future.  In the meantime,
    my extra $$ is tied up in a cashier's check!  Either David's going to
    be able to cash it (and everything will be fine), or he'll have to use
    an ATM (and we pay out of "future" funds), or he'll just have to wait
    until more funds are available.
    
    That's life.
    
    Actually, I'm not worried about it; I'm betting he'll have no trouble
    getting the cash.
    
    Karen

    Karen, I don't think it's a case of New England but rather a
    "sign of the times" where the economy is poor and so many more people
    are dishonest.  It saddens me too.
    
    			Steve

    I wish I could agree with you, Steve, about it being a sign of the
    times. My experience tells me otherwise, though. I lived in four
    different sections of the country before I moved to New England over 20
    years ago. I never had any difficulty cashing checks in any of the
    other four sections--in good times or bad. In fact, in one of those
    sections, there were store-front check cashing operations. They'd take
    ANYONE's check!
    
    Then I moved to Massachusetts. Suddenly I had to have an account in the
    bank to cash a check. Banking activities became more tedious and
    arduous, as I was made to feel like a thief for trying to get to my own
    money. That attitude was pervasive in each of many different banks I
    tried in an attempt to find that friendly, glad-to-do-business-with-me
    banker I remembered from past experiences. That attitude also extended
    from my first banking experience in Massachusetts 20+ years ago right
    up to today--through good times and bad; through very lucrative
    employment and through unemployment on my part. The only relief I have
    found from it is by joining my local credit union. (No, not the Digital
    credit union!) Now tellers remember me from one week to another; if a
    new teller is on duty and questions my identity, the teller on either
    side of her will speak up and vouch for me. I still have to have an
    account in the credit union to cash a check, but I've finally achieved
    face and name recognition--after 6 years of banking with them!
    
    Oh, another experience: once not too long ago when I was in my home
    town in Colorado, a place I moved away from almost 30 years ago, and
    needed to cash a personal check (no ATMs in town at that time; I wonder
    if they have them now?), the teller in the local bank did ask
    me if I had an account there before accepting my check. I explained
    that I didn't, but that I was visiting in town from out of state, and
    that my parents lived in town.  (My parents didn't have an account at
    that bank, though.) That's all the teller required. She cashed my
    check.
    
    No, I'm afraid my experience tells me that it IS more difficult to bank
    in New England--well, Massachusetts anyway.
    
    Karen

    Back to David's progress: by way of his father, I learned yesterday
    that David is/was in Springfield, MO, having hitch-hiked the last few
    miles into town due to a "split rim" on his rear wheel.  This is the
    second repair he's had to make to the hardware on the rear wheel in the
    last 10 days.  I wonder--is he carrying too much weight on the back?
    
    Anyway, word is that he's healthy, he still has plenty of energy, but
    he is ready for the trip to be over. His plans are to really push ahead
    in the coming days--flat land ahead!!!--and reach journey's end by
    Tuesday, Oct. 20.  That's 10 days behind his original schedule.
    
    Now, watch him push ahead so fast that he passes the mail stop before
    the check gets there!
    
    I can't believe how much I miss him!
    Karen

    re: .70   
    
    Karen,
    
       I'm from New York and you can say the same things about banking
    there.  Personally, I like the idea that someone would have to go to
    some lengths to cash MY check if I ever lost it.  About not cashing
    tax refunds or other gov't checks, that's pretty ridiculous.  I mean,
    despite the economy, the check IS good...but asking for ID wouldn't be
    unreasonable.  When I worked at Sears Customer Service, we started off
    cashing personal/payroll checks, but we stopped.  Why?  Too many
    bounced checks.  On top of the money you lose on a worthless check, the
    bank charges you a fee for going through the process AND it costs a
    lot of money to try to get the person to pay on it.
    
       When I travel, I bring some cash, my plastic, and my bank card.  I
    put most things on the plastic so that I have a receipt AND if it's on
    company travel, the reimbursement will more or less match the time of
    the credit card bill.  If I run out of cash, an ATM will do, and in a
    REAL emergency, a cash advance on the card covers me.
    
       I'm for friendly banking, but let's not forget what kind of world it
    is out there.
    
       - Larry  

    Re- Friendly Banking....
    
    
    Actually I think it's all a matter of the community/area you're in.
    I've done banking from California to New Hampshire,
    
    Have checking accounts in California, here, and Texas. (I have bills 
    to pay in California and Texas and it takes less time to cash a check
    when paying a bill from a local account versus an out of state account.
    
    THat is it takes less time for the check to clear the reciepients
    account/bank.
    
    California in L.A, San Diego, San Francisco, and San Jose, require an 
    account to cash a check... IF you manage to find a place outside the 
    bank (A REAL BIG IF!) you need a driver's license, and 4 pieces of ID..
    two of them with pictures.  Here in New England it's pretty much the 
    same (anyone deal with the new Shaws check cashing card?  NOW they want
    your account number on it too!) Larger city's in Texas are the same
    thing, next to impossible to cash a check.  But the smaller isolated 
    communities (any town with 100 or more miles between it and another
    town) aren't... I've found them helpful, and willing to cash a check 
    rather quickly regardless where it's from, provided you can name a
    name.  Keep in mind that in towns like this, everyone knows everyone 
    else and usually has some idea what's going on with them.  I've also 
    found this true in Rosewell New Mexico, but suspect that it's more 
    because my Dad and the Bank President of two of the larger banks are 
    all 'good drinking budies', So, I don't count that.
    
    Skip

    Guess we'll never know whether he could have cashed the check or not.
    By David's phone account last night, he's overshot the mail drop where
    I sent the check--before the check arrived. He did ask the postmaster
    to forward all further mail to his grandparents, so the check will
    catch up with him in a community where his grandfather can intervene if
    the banker hesitates.
    
    The bike trouble in Missouri was a splitting rear rim; David completely
    broke down "in the middle of nowhere." He walked up to the nearest
    house and just happened to catch the woman of the house as she was
    leaving for a luncheon meeting in Springfield. She let him stash the
    bike and assorted equipment in her back yard and gave him and the
    wheel a ride the 45 miles into Springfield. There David knew of a bike
    shop whose owner he had just met as a fellow bike tourer the weekend 
    before, so the wheel was rebuilt right away, and David was ready to
    return with the same very nice woman who picked him up at the bike shop
    and drove him back to her home.  (Such willingness to help is even more
    remarkable when you know that David hadn't showered for five days! I
    mean, sure, she was nice enough to give him a ride in--before she'd
    been cooped up with him in a car; but to give him a ride back?  Well,
    there ARE saints!)  Oh, yes, repairs were paid for with the previously
    unused credit card!
    
    So David's now pushing on with vigor. Last night he was in Eureka,
    Kansas, and intending to do in excess of 80 miles/day for the remainder
    of the trip. Flat country and "boring" (his word; not mine) landscape
    will help encourage him to keep moving.
    
    He was in good spirits--almost elated, but quite tired and eager to be
    finished. His response to "what will you do to celebrate the completion
    of the trip?" was, "Take a shower."
    
    Next report, the end of the trip?
    Karen

    This is it--the final update! 2800 miles and six weeks after starting
    out, David was finally worn down by the cold and the wind in Kansas.
    350 miles short of his goal, he packed the bike into a crate and took a
    bus to Lamar, Colorado, arriving there around noon on Saturday.
    
    Although I can understand his disappointment over not completing the
    trip as planned, I'm very proud of the effort and the progress he did 
    make! He's learned a lot that will stand in his favor come Spring
    and--if he's still eager--the continuation of his trip to the Pacific
    coast. 
    
    Three key lessons: start earlier in the year; travel with a companion 
    for mutual motivation and company (David didn't see another biker for 
    four weeks straight!); and plan on spending more than $20/day. (David 
    hasn't said so, but from his actions I gather that shopping for food, 
    pitching camp, cooking dinner and cleaning up after, then breaking camp 
    the next morning were just too much effort after 8-10 hours on the road.)
    
    Once again heart-felt thanks to you who offered advice, shoulders, and
    encouragement for David's trip. You were a huge help to me, and I think
    David profited from your support, too.
    
    Regards,
    Karen 
                                                     

    You mean after all that he's planning to do it AGAIN?
    
    My respect and admiration just soared even higher for him!
    
    The small trek I'd taken way back when had me swearing off such things
    for a L-o-n-g time.  (it was 20 years ago and I STILL havn't done 
    anything remotely like it since).  
    
    ;-)
    
    Sorry he didn't make it all the way, but he's achieved one heck of a
    lot making it this far.  I can understand about the cold, especially 
    after walking 10 minutes in it this morning (that's meant to be a
    joke!).
    
    Skip

    Karen:
    
    Let your son know that there are many of us here who admire him --
    and his mother.
    
    					andrew

    Karen, I'm glad he made it to Colorado safely and you can relax and
    stop worrying about him for awhile!
    
    Lorna
    

	Karen,

	Congratulations to both your son AND YOU !!!  My son is only
	almost-8 yet I have read your updates with great interest,
	thinking of "the days to come" !!!!  Your son should be
	proud, but so should you for the support and caring you've
	shown on his endeavor.  I'd say you've BOTH learned a lot
	from this trip !!!

	Debbi J

  This has been a great story to follow...congrats to both of you!







 Jim

    
    Karen,
    
    	Yes, this has indeed been a marvelous story to follow.  Thank you
    for sharing this with us.  Give your son my congratulations also.  And
    congratulations to you, too!
    
    Faith
    

Karen,

As vicarious experiences goes, this one has been great!
Have enjoyed the trip greatly from my safe warm cube.

Meigs                                                     

    Today the expected happened: I was informed that Digital no longer 
    needs my services. Friday will be my last day with access to the net 
    and a badge that allows me access to Digital's facilities. Having 
    fought the battle to overcome TFSO once, I don't have the will or 
    the interest to fight it any longer.

    Although my time with the company has been relatively short, I've made 
    some good friends here. Some have paved my way with good advice, 
    valuable information, and helping hands. Some I've never even met, but 
    their "voices"--whether over the net or over the phone--are still 
    familiar and dear. Many of you who've supported me in this conference
    are notable here. Some have preceded me in severing their ties with 
    Digital and have provided me with proof that there is, indeed, life 
    after DEC. Some will no doubt follow me. Special thanks to Rick 
    Carwile, Mike Cronin, and James Mahoney for believing in me enough to 
    give me a chance.

    To those who may want to contact me after Friday, my home address is 
    237 Arbor Street, Lunenburg, MA 01462; phone is 508-582-9227.

    To all of you who have made my passage here rewarding, my deepest 
    thanks and sincere wishes for gentle paths ahead.

    Best regards,
    Karen