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Conference 7.286::star_trek

Title:STAR TREK
Notice:Welcome to STAR TREK! Please read Topic 1 before noting here.
Moderator:DECCXX::WIBECAN
Created:Mon Feb 10 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1104
Total number of notes:41750

62.0. "STAR TREK Jokes" by NY1MM::BONNELL (Jersey Girl) Thu Apr 03 1986 17:37

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
62.1The Big "E" vs The Death StarTHEBAY::MTHOMASopen mouth, stick foot in mouth, ...Sat May 03 1986 18:5592
62.3My work haunts me33833::BROWNMon May 19 1986 11:4522
62.4Wrong I thinkDASHER::TIMPSONFacinatingMon May 19 1986 12:514
62.5NOMAD the powerfulATLAST::SESSIONSCaptain VideoThu May 22 1986 11:3412
62.6plants? did I say plants? I meant planets.ATLAST::SESSIONSCaptain VideoThu May 22 1986 11:361
62.7Diet CokeATLAST::BROWNTue May 27 1986 11:0811
62.8Check againDASHER::TIMPSONFascinating!Tue May 27 1986 13:586
62.9EDEN::KLAESWed May 28 1986 11:309
62.10MAASSG::LARUEJeff LaRue - MAA Senior Network ConsultantWed May 28 1986 20:359
62.11AND NOW THE ANSWERS TO THOSE BURNING JOKES....EDEN::KLAESFri May 30 1986 17:0818
62.12MAASSG::LARUEJeff LaRue - MAA Senior Network ConsultantSat May 31 1986 12:4812
62.14TAXI!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Wed Jun 04 1986 15:345
62.16A Canticle for Leibowitz 8^)}COMET2::TIMPSONFascinating!Wed Jun 04 1986 21:360
62.17Kirk!ENGGSG::FLISThu Jun 05 1986 05:458
62.27ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? NEVER!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Mon Jun 16 1986 15:2511
62.28THE KLINGONS MADE ME SAY IT!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Thu Jun 26 1986 16:577
62.30PERMISSION TO JOKE DENIED!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Fri Jun 27 1986 08:069
62.31YOU'VE GOT TO STOP THEM, JIM, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATEE!EEDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Fri Jun 27 1986 08:139
62.35YOUR AGONIZER, PLEASE.EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Mon Jun 30 1986 17:3014
62.36THEY ACT LIKE A VIRUS!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Tue Jul 01 1986 09:3710
62.37NEAT! SWEET! PETITE!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Tue Jul 01 1986 12:318
62.38Khan's wardrobe provided by...PAUPER::EPSTEINBruce EpsteinWed Jul 02 1986 07:1111
62.39AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!! Ouwch!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Wed Jul 02 1986 11:5613
62.40True confessionsBOEBNR::BOEBINGERFri Jul 04 1986 21:4833
62.41I CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Mon Jul 07 1986 15:3224
62.44Another awful joke...LISZT::WESTGATEHired HackerThu Jul 24 1986 10:0013
62.46how'd they get to Bedrock?CACHE::MARSHALLbeware the fractal dragonThu Jul 24 1986 15:425
62.48REVENGE!EDEN::KLAESTime to make the doughnuts!Fri Jul 25 1986 07:087
62.54Seen on a tee shirtCEO03::SESSIONSWelcome to the real world.Wed Sep 24 1986 08:323
62.55Seen on a planetEDEN::KLAESForever on Petroleum.Wed Sep 24 1986 10:534
62.56PHASER REVIEWEDEN::KLAESNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!Wed Feb 04 1987 09:4430
62.62FROM THE HOME OFFICE...EDEN::KLAESNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!Fri Feb 13 1987 06:4712
62.63... in Scotsdale Arizona.LA780::GOLDSMITHMy computers, audio? Only Digital!Fri Feb 13 1987 10:305
62.65Only a phase?RDGE28::HAYESIan Hayes, DTN 830 ext 4992Mon Feb 16 1987 05:126
62.66IT'S SO USELESS!EDEN::KLAESNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!Mon Feb 16 1987 09:3512
62.69REDJAK! BLUEJAK! GREENJAK!EDEN::KLAESFleeing the Cylon Tyranny.Tue Feb 24 1987 09:334
62.70*CUJO::WESTOn a clear disk you can seek foreverTue Feb 24 1987 15:386
62.78oops, I think I spelled Kling gones wrongBAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningThu May 21 1987 12:4418
62.85I have a terminal to tend to; Au Revoir.BAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningFri May 22 1987 06:5810
62.86You don't mean...WILVAX::WILLOWSIDICFri May 22 1987 07:0710
62.87Plenty of tribble for all!EDEN::KLAESThe Universe is safe.Fri May 22 1987 08:3012
62.88This is it! THE ANSWERBAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningWed May 27 1987 08:5524
62.89RE 62.88EDEN::KLAESThe Universe is safe.Wed May 27 1987 09:415
62.90Whew!RDGE00::HAYESIan Hayes, DTN 830 ext 4992Wed May 27 1987 09:566
62.91She Simply Can Not Believe Her EarsBAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningThu May 28 1987 09:1111
62.93Get those fuzzy miserable things...EDEN::KLAESThe Universe is safe.Thu May 28 1987 12:4017
62.94When the Klingons are *really* offensive...DICKNS::KLAESAngels in the Architecture.Fri Oct 02 1987 09:0283
62.95STARTREK tunrs up in the strangest of placesWINERY::THOMASThe Code WarriorWed Dec 09 1987 22:322
62.96:-)>FYRCAT::WILLOWSBeats the DICKNS outta me...Sat Jan 23 1988 21:1111
62.97Triple ;-)> ;-)> ;-)> !FYRCAT::WILLOWSYeah... outside... with pitchforks...Sat Jan 23 1988 21:355
62.98FYRCAT::WILLOWSThe Megalomaniacal TrekologistSat Jan 23 1988 21:414
62.99FYRCAT::WILLOWSThe Megalomaniacal TrekologistSat Jan 23 1988 22:3310
62.100They say I *could* lead a normal life...FYRCAT::WILLOWSIt's okay, I'm cured. I'll shut up now.Sat Jan 23 1988 23:005
62.101:-)> is now :-)FYRCAT::WILLOWSWhat would you have me say Doctor?Mon Feb 08 1988 06:213
62.102Oh yeah? ;-)FYRCAT::WILLOWSAn ugly bag of mostly water.Thu Mar 17 1988 04:1521
62.103You got me there -- guilty as charged... :-)SSDEVO::OAKEYEver been UNDER an iced-over lake?Thu Mar 17 1988 09:380
62.104Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's JohnnyGAOV11::MAXPROG6If you can't beat 'em .. join 'emMon Jun 20 1988 06:2915
62.105Kind of rude, but...DELNI::HALLOWELLWed Jul 06 1988 16:434
62.106ASHBY::IRONSOne day the bottom will drop out.Thu Jul 07 1988 09:543
62.107WFOV11::SLEZINGERMon Aug 22 1988 17:0519
62.108Stolen from UsenetTALLIS::WESTGATETake my Worf... PleaseTue Dec 20 1988 08:4658
62.109Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not GE!MTWAIN::KLAESSaturn by 1970Wed Dec 21 1988 10:4639
62.110Inquiring Minds Want to Know IIDISCVR::SORRELLSMOOD CODE: Rotary AdjustableWed Jan 04 1989 09:3845
62.111He'z bin hypmotized, Jim!RENOIR::KLAESN = R*fgfpneflfifaLMon Jun 26 1989 14:3537
62.112DASXPS::WILLOWSGenius is pain.Thu Jul 27 1989 09:5436
62.113From USENET: Mirror, Mirror: The Next GenerationMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorThu Nov 09 1989 11:15250
62.114mmhh, YES!RECAP::SEAGLEKirk to Enterprise...Spock?...Fri Nov 10 1989 20:0012
62.115Parody Mount Press Release: #175 - Nightmare On the EnterpriseMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorThu Apr 26 1990 02:24834
62.116Part 2 of MIRROR, MIRROR: THE NEXT GENERATIONMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 12:14160
62.117Part 1: Galactica and EnterpriseMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 16:14721
62.118Part 2: G & EMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 16:16591
62.119Part 3: G & EMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 16:18476
62.120PFLOYD::ROTHBERGThe Water Buffalo Grand PoobahTue May 01 1990 15:257
62.121BOSOX::WILLOWSIf I could wave my magic wand...Wed Oct 03 1990 14:5069
62.122DECWIN::FISHERI like my species the way it is" "A narrow view...Wed Oct 03 1990 15:173
62.123RE 62.121ADVAX::KLAESAll the Universe, or nothing!Wed Oct 03 1990 18:4311
62.124Re: .123BOSOX::WILLOWSIf I could wave my magic wand...Thu Oct 04 1990 09:486
62.125Re: .122 All together, now....WOOK::LEEWook... Like 'Book' with a 'W'Mon Oct 08 1990 16:155
62.126BOSOX::WILLOWSIf I could wave my magic wand...Tue Oct 09 1990 17:25159
62.127VAXtrek humor.OTOO01::PONDWed Oct 10 1990 10:02203
62.128Toon Trek, The Next Generation (Part 1)MIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorSat Oct 20 1990 19:12490
62.129Toon Trek, The Next Generation (Part 2)MIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorSat Oct 20 1990 19:13449
62.130"In days of old, when Klingons were bold..."LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Wed Nov 07 1990 13:0655
62.131I like the klingon version better >;-)SA1794::CHARBONNDbut it was a _clean_ missThu Nov 08 1990 09:362
62.132HYSTER::ROBINSON_JFri Nov 09 1990 12:243
62.133Johnny Carson about Star TrekJAMESB::BABINHow's my typing? Call 1-800-ASDFJKL;Fri Jan 04 1991 15:5019
62.134Captain, my targ ate my homework....LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Mon Jan 14 1991 10:3057
62.135...and a few bumper stickers!LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Mon Jan 14 1991 10:3514
62.136Joke - Next Week on Star TrekTFH::BAUERThu Mar 07 1991 08:4614
62.137CUPMK::ROBINSONThu Mar 07 1991 09:255
62.138RE .136 Was that supposed to be funny?ACETEK::TIMPSONPursuing an untamed OrnithoidThu Mar 07 1991 13:520
62.139Voyage to 1991TFH::BAUERMon Mar 11 1991 08:1017
62.140JAMESB::BABINHOW'S MY TYPING? Call 1-800-ALLTYPOMon Mar 11 1991 14:2221
62.141Yet another ST parodyROGER::GAUDETNothing unreal existsFri Apr 19 1991 15:46328
62.142ST:TNG meet the Simpsons.49ER::NGUYENAnyone wanna see setting #2?Fri Apr 19 1991 17:2597
62.143BOSOX::WILLOWSYou got the left one baby, uh-huhMon Jun 10 1991 13:2015
62.144:-)BOSOX::WILLOWSYou got the left one baby, uh-huhTue Jun 18 1991 17:48109
62.145Found this in SF notes K.C.SELL3::FAHELAmalthea Celebras/Silver UnicornWed Aug 14 1991 17:1485
62.146CSC32::DUBOISSister of SapphoThu Aug 22 1991 21:066
62.147:-)CGOOA::HALLIDAYsun shines through the rainFri Aug 23 1991 22:575
62.148Not officers only.....SALEM::COOPER_GEIS Salem N.HMon Aug 26 1991 14:2211
62.149momma said knock Kirk out...:-)KAOFS::R_HARPERThis space unavailable, Digital has it nowTue Sep 24 1991 15:296
62.150LL T'Pau ?LUNER::BROOKSUnforgettable ... in every way...Tue Oct 08 1991 18:525
62.151SHALOT::CHENAUSKYKIM CHENAUSKYWed Oct 09 1991 21:474
62.152Mirror, Mirror: TNG -- "Yesterday's Empire"NAC::THOMASThe Code WarriorSun Oct 20 1991 23:29797
62.153Thanks for the weird -- but fun -- read !AKOCOA::HILLMon Oct 21 1991 01:107
62.154I luv it!!!!NYTP07::LAMQ ��Ktl��Mon Oct 21 1991 10:354
62.155You make the call ... ST fan or carbuff ?ROGER::GAUDETBecause the Earth is 2/3 waterWed Nov 06 1991 14:3322
62.156We have one!CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Wed Nov 06 1991 16:454
62.157<palm_of_hand_to_forehead> ... I coulda had a V-8! :-)ROGER::GAUDETBecause the Earth is 2/3 waterWed Nov 06 1991 18:228
62.158"Hmmm, carbon unit humor - illogical!"LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Thu Nov 07 1991 08:1115
62.159college stickersELWOOD::BABINHOW&#039;S MY TYPING? Call 1-800-ALLTYPOThu Nov 07 1991 08:2812
62.160More college stickersASDG::ANDERSONThu Nov 07 1991 08:594
62.161GAMGEE::ROBRSailing the seas of cheeze...Thu Nov 07 1991 13:535
62.162Then STOMP!PHLACT::QUINNUh, kill men, rape women, steal sheep?Fri Nov 08 1991 17:545
62.163moreSHAOLN::DENSMOREDirty deeds &amp; they&#039;re done dirt cheapTue Nov 12 1991 08:075
62.164CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Tue Nov 19 1991 14:119
62.165A bit late for New Year's Eve....CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Thu Jan 02 1992 11:2196
62.166re: -1LACV01::BUCHANANGreetings from the Suncrime StateThu Jan 02 1992 11:563
62.167CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Thu Jan 02 1992 12:074
62.168CIVIC::FAHELAmalthea Celebras/Silver UnicornThu Jan 02 1992 12:415
62.169How about this.BOOKS::ANGELONEFailure: line of least persistence.Mon Jan 06 1992 07:429
62.170Grimmy & KirkCIVIC::FAHELAmalthea Celebras/Silver UnicornWed Jan 08 1992 09:2710
62.171Grimm, Lieutenant J.G.....LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Wed Jan 08 1992 10:3410
62.172Don't blame me for this one!CSLALL::WILLOWSGirls just want to have funds...Tue Apr 21 1992 16:2824
62.173A Modern Klingon GeneralMAST::WESTGATESave the Whales, Collect the whole setThu Apr 30 1992 09:2020
62.174Who can we get to sing it, I wonder?STRATA::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Thu May 07 1992 11:085
62.175A monk, a clone, and a Ferengi ?HEFTY::CHARBONNDin deepest dreams the gypsy fliesMon Sep 14 1992 05:424
62.176DoughhhhhhhhhhPKHUB2::BROOKSWe look for things that make us go.Mon Mar 01 1993 19:2514
62.177This about covers the whole process.... ;^)STRATA::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Sat Mar 20 1993 10:1044
62.178Fifty Ways to Kill an EnsignNETRIX::thomasThe Code WarriorFri Apr 16 1993 19:5350
62.179Things that never happen on STVOYAGR::ROBINSONThe CaptainMon Jun 14 1993 17:4564
62.180DELNI::OTAMon Jun 14 1993 18:0914
62.181Another...QUINCE::MADDENPatrick MaddenTue Jun 15 1993 15:212
62.182This never happens #57DPDMAI::MILLERRIlluminatus Electric Co.Tue Jun 15 1993 15:253
62.183TNPUBS::FORTENWelcome to Jamaica Mon and have a nice dayTue Jun 15 1993 16:065
62.184BOLSA::SKELLY_JOTue Jun 15 1993 20:3214
62.185KDX200::ROBRMaybe you&#039;ll figure it out somedayWed Jun 16 1993 17:1611
62.186TNPUBS::FORTENWelcome to Jamaica Mon and have a nice dayWed Jun 16 1993 17:309
62.187SOLVIT::FLIScome to me...Thu Jun 17 1993 12:515
62.188E::EVANSThu Jun 17 1993 15:286
62.189Couldn't resistGAUSS::REITHJim 3D::Reith MLO1-2/c37 223-2021Thu Jun 17 1993 15:331
62.190Confessions of a TrekkieVOYAGR::ROBINSONThe CaptainFri Jun 18 1993 12:0188
62.191Another thing that never happensACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Fri Jun 18 1993 16:072
62.192TroiTOOK::CALLANDERMCC = My Constant CompanionFri Jun 18 1993 16:141
62.193TLE::TOKLAS::FELDMANOpportunities are our FutureFri Jun 18 1993 17:465
62.194ACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Fri Jun 18 1993 17:591
62.195Not universalTNPUBS::JONGSteveFri Jun 18 1993 21:133
62.196SPECXN::WITHERSBob WithersSat Jun 19 1993 13:4013
62.197KDX200::ROBRMaybe you&#039;ll figure it out somedaySun Jun 20 1993 14:113
62.198Something That will probably NEVER happen!KYOA::KOCHIt never hurts to ask...Tue Jun 29 1993 14:522
62.199Cliff hanger episodeAIMT::PETERSBe nice or be dog foodTue Jun 29 1993 14:573
62.200How do you linefeed on a PC?LACV01::MCCARTNEYDon&#039;t I wish!Mon Jul 19 1993 10:3219
62.201ST:TNG promoMILKWY::ROBINSONThe CaptainWed Jul 21 1993 10:2141
62.202Syndicated commercialsKAOOA::HASIBEDERGood tea, nice houseWed Jul 21 1993 11:5411
62.203Fun things to do on the EnterpriseSANDZ::ROBINSONThe CaptainWed Jul 21 1993 14:4418
62.204Dougghhhhhh!PKHUB2::BROOKSVedek Bareil, ordinary average KaiWed Mar 16 1994 16:4510
62.205You must have a long drive to work :-)ROGER::GAUDETBecause the Earth is 2/3 waterThu Mar 17 1994 13:319
62.207Star Trek humorCOMET::CAMERON_SFri Jun 10 1994 00:299
62.208Ouch!CSOA1::HOLLANDThe happiness of pursuitFri Jun 10 1994 09:368
62.209ST:TNG - "The Lost Episodes"WRKSYS::NISHIMOTOWed Jun 22 1994 19:26129
62.21015 minute install!?MIMS::MCFARLAND_Dm o o n...that spells turbo 3Thu Jun 23 1994 13:107
62.211Just how many times have you seen bouncing cards?STRATA::MMURRAYHey Frank, let me borrow your keys.Fri Jun 24 1994 08:0010
62.212I wonder if they own Enterprise rent-a-carPKHUB2::BROOKSPhasers don&#039;t kill, people killMon Nov 28 1994 19:2216
62.213SKYLAB::FISHERIndecision is the key to flexibility!Tue Nov 29 1994 12:154
62.214jokePROXY::HOLLISTue Nov 29 1994 15:2129
62.215But you knew that, didn't you....SMURF::PETERTrigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertaintyTue Nov 29 1994 16:046
62.216EPS::RODERICKI saw Elvis kissing Santa Claus.Thu Dec 22 1994 08:59142
62.217KDX200::ROBRDrinks for all my friends...Thu Dec 22 1994 11:383
62.218SAPPHO::DUBOISHONK if you&#039;ve slept w/Cmdr Riker!Thu Dec 29 1994 15:253
62.219just ask any KlingonCSSREG::BROWNCommon Sense Isn&#039;tFri Oct 13 1995 14:265
62.220I gotta kick out if this...YIELD::MMURRAYRock climbing, Joel, Rock climbing.Thu Mar 07 1996 13:38115
62.221KERNEL::FIDDLERMFri Mar 08 1996 03:555
62.222Your Captain may be a redneck if..BIGQ::BERNIERThu Jun 27 1996 05:3854
62.223Things you'll never see....BIGQ::BERNIERThu Jun 27 1996 05:4256