Conference noted::bicycle

    
    Karen, your note and reasoning seem very sensible.  This is a hard
    one to call.  First disclaimer is I've never biked solo cross country,
    so I hope fellow noters who have done so can speak up.  (I have done
    solo tours out west, though, but not as a young person.)
    
    I think your fears are exaggerated but not totally unfounded.  To me,
    compromise is in order, and your checkpoint scheme sounds like a very
    good compromise.  Also, emergency numbers, and perhaps phoning in each
    day.  It would be much better if your son found someone to bike with -
    it would enrich the experience and smooth over some of the difficulties.
    
    But you are right: this is an excellent chance for your son to go out
    on his own and grow in that respect.  Biking out in the open like that
    certainly matures a person, be he/she 20 or 50 years old.  I don't think
    an organized tour would be acceptable (such as the Bikecentennial ones),
    not that you mentioned it.  It would probably be too tame and insulated.
    
    Just some thoughts.  Wish I had brighter ideas...  Good luck.
    
    -john

I sympathize with you.  I can only relate my experience with my X-country
tour back in '81.   I went with my fiance but did encounter many solo riders
along the way.  Some of them were as young as your son.   
If the route he is taking is a published route like ours (bikecentenial)
the odds are pretty good that he will hook up with others doing the
same.  We made some good friends that way and was one of the most
enjoyable aspects of the trip.   One thing we did to keep the relatives
informed was to take lots of pictures,  have them developed by mail
and returned to one of the relatives.   I still look back at this 
trip as the most enjoyable 2-3 months of my life and hope to do it 
again.   Hope this helps a little.
Feel free to call if you want to talk some more.
-Larry Cohen
381-0345

    
    
      Thinking back to when I was 18.
    
      I wanted to do everything my way.  I was finally a legal
    adult and did not know that I was indeed mortal.  The one
    thing that I definitely did not want was to admit any kind
    of dependence on my mother.  You really have no choice but
    to let him go.  It sounds like he has done a reasonable
    amount of planning.  He will have problems along the way.
    It will be tougher than he can imagine in ways that nobody
    can warn him about.  There is absolutely no way that I would
    want to feel obligated to call my mother everyday.  That
    would feel like I never left home!  Let him go and tell him
    that you will be there if he runs into any problems that
    he can't handle alone.   Plan the route so that if things
    get out of control he can go a little out of his way and
    find somebody (family or friends) that he knows. 
    
      He wants to go out and test himself.  Let him.  This is 
    one of the things he wants to be able to look back on.
    Its even more than that.  Its a test.  He probably scared
    out of his wits but there is no way he will admit that.
    At least not until he's a little desparate.  Try to look 
    back at the some of the things you did at his age and how
    you felt.  It was 12 years ago for me and I remember it very
    well.  I fear the day when my two daughters are old enough
    to start doing the thins that I did.  
    
      The best thing my mother ever did for me was to let me
    go and help pick up the pieces when everthing went bad.
    
      It was stressfull for both of us but face it.  Life
    is not easy but its really great when you have the
    courage to face it.  Or in this case let someone else
    face it.
    
      If the boy has a love affair with the bike and is willing
    to let take him where ever it will.  Try and enjoy it.
    (Ya I know, easy to say from where I sit)
    
      John C.
    

When I worked in a bike shop on the northern route, I saw quite a few 
soloists come thru. Biggest problems they seemed to have was scares with 
traffic. Then, here's always the occasional yahoo who has to drive by with 
his pals and throw a beer bottle, but keeping cool seems to be the key - 
don't yield to the temptation of screaming or gesturing rudely at 'em 
and they won't have an "excuse" to stop and mix it up. As for keeping in 
touch, give him some pre-addressed postcards, with pre-filled messages 
on the back:
Hi Mom,
I'm in [Green Acres, Wyoming] on [Tuesday]
[ ] Having a great time
[ ] Having a strange time
[ ] Lots of bike trouble
[ ] Dog has been following me since Oregon, can I keep it?

etc. Makes keeping in touch a bit easier, and less hassle than looking 
for change at the end of a long day riding then going into town to look 
for a phone.

As far as trouble goes, there's always a chance of it, but then, you run 
the same chances everyday, anyhow.
                                    ken

Thank you, Karen!  

You have expressed very clearly the very uneasiness my husband
has when I mention my solo biking ... it matters very little that
I'm not male, not 18, and not planning a trip across country
(just across town, state, region). 

My compromise is to call home once or twice a day if he's my 
primary sag/support vehicle/driver.  If I'm so far removed that 
distant relatives are closer contacts, they get the nightly 
telephone call.

Sally

    Karen,
    
    I understand your concern as a parent.  However, I think the trip will
    be a great learning experience for him.  I know a woman who bicycled
    East-West solo, and the experience changed her life in so many positive
    ways. 
    
    I've done a lot of bike touring, and going solo is much more work, but
    as you handle it, you learn how resourceful you are.  That may be what
    your son is trying to find out.
    
    There have been many good suggestions in the replies.  The best is that 
    he take the BikeCentennial route.  That way he'll have the option of 
    meeting other cyclists and he'll also lessen the tedious work of doing
    all of the navigating himself. 
    
    I think you're right to ask him to make sure that his bike is in good
    condition before he goes.  You could ask him to absolutely minimize 
    any riding at night, and to carry lights and reflectors for the
    inevitable times that he will.  Having him send home photos for 
    development is also a good way of keeping in touch. 
    
    I'd encourage him to take the BikeCentennial route.  I think that's
    the best you can do.  He'll have more fun that way, I think. 
    
    Patrick 

Karen,
I envy your son's opportunity to make a ride like this. 
I have ridden about 4000-5000 miles in the last two years.
(I'm a lightweight compared to many other people in this notesfile)
 My observations:

1) Riding alone is fun for a while, but can get old. There is no one to share
   your victories with, no one to give you a morale boost when your down.
   I would opt to try to find at least one other person to make the 
   journey with. I don't know if he has ridden long distances by himself(??).
   Riding with someone else does not necessarily mean riding WITH 
   someone else. It might only mean seeing another person at the start
   and the end of the day. 

2) Many people take the same types of risk every day and survive quite
   nicely ( Whether it be hiking the Appalachian trail, or sailing to 
   Bermuda). The point is to minimize the risk/maximize the fun. 

3) I would be a lot more worried if he was depending on the kindness
   of strangers (hitchiking and such) to get around. Since he will
   be self-sufficient, I think his exposure to potential danger is
   greatly reduced. (He should, of course, be ready for ANY problems
   along the way. Bicycle repairs, shelter, lights, basic first aid,etc,
   should all be considered.I'm sure he has thought about these
   things already). 

4) Don't let the fact that he is so far away frighten you.... or maybe
   I should say... don't let the fact that he rides so close to your
   home right now lull you into believing he is safe. I personally 
   believe that he is just as safe riding in the middle of nowhere
   away from your home as he is riding in the middle of nowhere close
   to your home. The only difference is that if he were to get hit/abducted/hurt
   close to your home, then you would know something was amiss and be
   able to act on it sooner.  It would be in HIS best interest to let you
   know on a regular/scheduled basis his exact location and up-to-date
   itinerary. At least then (if he did not check in) you would have an 
   estimation of who and where you should start looking for him. 
   It works both ways: If something were to happen to YOU, local 
   authorities could find and get a message to HIM.  
   I take this advice myself for tours, backpack trips, etc.
   I prefer to think of this as a safety-net for myself rather than 
   "checking-in" with my wife. Accidents happen even to the best riders.


    

Just a thought but you might want to suggest he take a dry run first.
He may be planning to do this already.   Like ride to Montreal and back.
It is probably a good idea just to make sure his preparation is correct
and to get a feel for what it will be like.

Also another positive thought is that I found people to be more friendly
in the mid-west and western states.  I always have this memory of Iowa
where people just seem to leave their bikes unlocked and not worry about
it.  People just offering free meals when they found out what we were
doing.  There were many kind people out there.
-Larry

Karen,

I went cross country in 1981 solo. I was 25 and I followed the Bikecentennial
route. I had no problems with people. I liked following the Bikecentennial 
route because it kept you away from the major metropolitan areas. It was
an excellent trip, something I will never forget. 

I recommend that 
  - he be able to tear down his bicycle and put it all back together again
    it is very important to be able to do your own repairs 

  - he has a quality bicycle with wheels made for loaded touring (this would
    have saved me a lot of pain!)

  - he have some prior camping experience and cooking

  - he use his common sense for things like locking the bicycle, using
    traveler's checks, always keeping his values with him, etc.

As a parent, I wouldn't worry too much. I found that the people I met
were fantastic. They wanted to help. I didn't meet a "bad" person in 
the whole 4 months I was on the bicycle. I found that people are
drawn to a touring cyclist and the loaded bicycle opened doors to
people's friendliness.  

I hope this helps. If you want to chat about it, call me. dtn 264-4990

Harry

Karen

My only suggestion would be to print-out all the replies/hints/suggestion you've 
received here and let you son read them.

As been suggested, an 18 year old does not all ways believe mom knows what she's
talking about.  Hearing/reading some of the info supplied here might make both of 
you feel more comfortable.

It might also, get him to ask for help through the notes conference.   Maybe you 
could bring him in (on a weekend of course.;-) ) and he could look over your should 
while you looked through the bike notes.

		Tim Brightman

Re: worries

    Of course you're worried.  It's just the way mothers are.

    In fact, it's good that you're concerned.
    It's also good that you don't want to forbid him from going.

    He'll probably have a great time.


Re: practicalities

    >...you might want to suggest he take a dry run first.

    I second this.

    Try for something like three days out, three back.
    It's the only way for him to figure out what he really needs
    to carry.

    It's also a good dose of reality; it probably won't dissuade
    him from the long trip, no matter how badly it goes,
    but it will help in the mental preparation.


    I find that it's good to plan one day a week as a rest day.
    Pedaling day in and day out can get dreary.  It's easier on
    the psyche if it's a planned rest day that a forced rest day.
    Do laundry, or sight see, or just sleep that day, and take a
    vacation from the vacation.

    It's possible to send packages marked "General Delivery".
    They'll stay at the Post Office until he picks them up.
    That way, come September, if he decides that he needs another
    sweater, you can send him one.  You could also send home-made
    brownies, if he needs an incentive to keep in touch.

    Stash a couple travelers checks inside the handlebar tubes.
    On the slim outside chance that he involuntarily loses his wallet,
    he'll have enough to buy dinner and a hotel room.

    Talk over the bail-out options.  If it gets too late in the season,
    or he has severe knee pain, he could catch a bus to colorado.


    Let him post to this notesfile if has any questions.

    -Jeff Bell

    Joining organizations like the American Youth Hostels will also be
    helpful.  Chances are, he will meet people on the road and ride
    together for some time.  Organizations/lodging such as this are perfect
    meeting grounds.
    
    Being able to trip his bike, top to bottom is critical.  
    
    Bikecentenial route/maps is also a great idea.
    
    steve

    If your son gets to read this:  
    
    As a 30 year old, I am still expected to phone my PU's (parental units) 
    on at least a weekly basis when I am out cyclo-touring - and that's at 
    less that 1400 miles from home.  When I was younger I thought that this 
    was a pain, but now I recognise it can be useful and at a human level its 
    great to keep in touch if you have been on the road alone.   You can't
    stop parents worrying, but you can make their life easier quite simply.

    Your responses have been wonderful, and very helpful to me.  Thanks for
    giving me permission to share these with David.  I appreciate that and
    am sure he will, too.  Those of you who have shared personal experiences 
    have helped to allay some of my greatest fears.  And it's very reassuring 
    to learn that many of the plans David is putting in place dovetail with 
    your suggestions.  Hey, maybe he's done his homework after all!
    
    Please continue to offer any further suggestions or observations you
    think might be helpful.  I'll see if David wants to enter any responses
    or questions, too.
    
    Regards,
    Karen 
                                            

    
    Hi Karen!
    
    I went solo bike touring for 2 months in 1985, when I was 25,
    not across the states, but "around" the western states.  I
    started out on an easy & popular routine (the northern part
    of the West coast) where I met *lots* of other bicyclists,
    got familiar with my bike & my schedule, and eased into the
    routine.  The best part of solo on this routine is that I
    could get to know lots of different people, but not be tied
    down to any one or two.  It was great!  I met only one other
    woman biking alone the whole summer.  She was Swiss & we hooked
    up for a great week, then went in different directions.
    
    My mother was very worried too, but I knew I was going to do
    it, having been on my own for a few years already, and I was old
    enough to know it was a good idea to ascede to calling her,
    I think, every day, for the first 3-4 days, then every other
    day for a week or so, then it got down to every 3-4 days, as she
    grew more comfortable with things ;-)  Every 3-4 days was about
    my comfort level.  Plus, I had fun thinking up & sending lots of
    weird, funny postcards, about every 3-4 days.
    
    I have books, old bike route maps, state tourist maps, etc.
    for the lending, if you like too.
    
    I second the suggestion to join American Youth Hostels.
    I joined for my trip in '85.  It's nice to get a cheap bed
    where you can cook indoors once in a while for yourself.
    And meet other solo travelers.  Hostels are really designed
    with the individual traveler in mind.  I have info on AYH
    for him too.
    

        *** Cross posted in HUMAN RELATIONS, Note #1279.37 ***
    
    Thanks to the supportive replies as I've received here and in the HUMAN
    RELATIONS conference, my fears around David's cross-country trip have 
    been greatly allayed.  I've shared your pointers with him.  Some I'm 
    insisting we implement.  Some he's considering.  Others he's choosing to 
    ignore.  But I've learned that's life with an 18-year-old!  8-}

    I'm planning to use the related string in the HUMAN RELATIONS conference 
    to provide periodic updates of his adventure.  I suspect that moral 
    support will be welcome as the trip becomes more and more a reality!

David's plans are moving forward, despite a set-back or two.  He spent the
last two weeks touring Cape Cod by bicycle with other members of his church
youth group.  Their tents, food, etc. were carried for them by van, so
the trip, while covering a significant distance, was relatively burden-less 
for him.  Someone stole his quick-release seat and the tool kit attached
to it at one of their stops.  He immediately replaced the seat with one that's
teathered to the bike frame, but the tool kit will be sorely missed until he
can come up with the $$ to replace it.  So he's learning the hard way that 
protecting his gear from theft will have to become a full-time concern--
especially when he's traveling solo!  Other than that, the only bicycle-
related problem he had over the two weeks was a sore bum; he's planning on 
buying some padded cycling shorts this week.

This weekend he will be doing the Pan Mass Challenge--a 200 mile pledge
ride.  It will be a good test of the benefits of cycling shorts _and_ his
endurance over a longer per-day haul than he's previously experienced.  Once
again, however, the heavy stuff will be transported for him.

I have full confidence he'll meet this weekend's challenge.  Not so sure 
about me, though.  Looks like I'll have to get up at about 3:00 Saturday 
morning to get him to the starting point!

The things we do for our children---

Karen