Conference noted::bicycle

2121.0. "Bikeoholoc? (Y/N)" by LJOHUB::CRITZ () Fri Nov 08 1991 12:29

This is an article out of the January, 1988 newsletter of the Wheeling (IL)
Wheelmen (they host the annual Harmon Hundred).  This was written by Dick
Sorensen and is reprinted without permission for your enjoyment and reading
pleasure.

============================================================================
"Are You An Incurable Bikeoholic? Take This Test!"

"You don't love me anymore!"  "I always come second place to your * * * 
bicycles!"  Sound familiar?  You're definitely in trouble.  You may be going
overboard on the "fresh air and exercise" bit.  You've gone too far!  You've
probably fallen victim to that insidious malady known as BIKEOHOLISM!  What are
the symptons, you ask?  Well, based on personal experience, I offer the
following self-analysis.

You know that you're an incurable Bikeoholic when:

- You find that a strange jargon working its way into your everyday
conversation.  Words like "derailleur," "Campganolo," "Biopace," "Kevlar,"
"Dia Compe," and "Shimano."
- You have an uncontrollable urge to bring your bike into the house - preferably
in the living room or bedroom.
- You find it amazingly easy to rationalize the purchase of a third bike - this
one just for "special" rides.
- You plan, and actually look forward to, a two-week bicycling vacation, 
trekking across mountainous terrain, setting a goal of 75-100 miles a day, rain
or shine!
- You can actually remember which valve type is Presta and which is Schraeder,
and are adamant about defending your favorite.
- Your spouse begins to automically assume that you'll be on club rides every
weekend (worse yet, your non-riding spouse begins learning bike jargon!).
- You meticulously care for your bike, while your $10,000 car quietly rusts
away.
- You view Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries as times to exchange gifts
of bicycle components and accessories.
- You hang around bike shops without really needing anything.
- You're so naive you think a "wheel watcher" is a bike racing fan.
- You accumulate bike catalogs - and find something new to order with each new
issue.
- You easily rationalize replacing perfectly good components just because
something slightly better or trendier just came out.
- You never throw away the replaced parts - even worn out tires and tubes.
- Your eating habits change.  Things like "gorp" "Gookinade" and "carbohydrate"
creep into your diet.
- You plan the year ahead around the dates of TOSRV, GEAR, the LAW Rally, the
Hilly Hundred, and Harmon Hundred, etc. (The list grows longer each year.)
- You don't plan any family events ahead until first checking with the
"Monthly Meanders" schedules.
- You being to regard your job or school as a troublesome nuisane, interfering
with your quality biking time.
- You divide your friendships into two groups - those that bike and those that
don't.
- You talk about Hinault, LeMond, Penseyres, and Haldeman as if they were close
personal friends.
- You find yourself carrying on a spirited conversation with "Larry," the ever
silent riding companion, when viewing the cycling video on your wind trainer.
- Your al-time favorite movies are "Breaking Away" and "American Flyers."
- You talk as if you really understand gear ratios.
- You'll ride all day in numbing cold and soaking rain, and then complain at 
home if a draft from an open window blows on you.
- Your family photo album is becoming filled with bike photos and scenery
views shots through the spokes.  On the other hand, you have not taken a
candid of your spouse or kids for two years.
- You faithfully log every mile ridden.
- You regard the severity of sickness or injury by the length of time it takes
until you can resume biking.
- You're beginning to actually enjoy drinking warm water out of a water bottle.
(especially at a sag stop, sitting on the cold ground and pigging out on
bananas.)
- You have a permanent black grease mark across the calf of your right leg.
- Your biggest goal is to qualify for RAAM.
- You'd like to wear your colorful skins outfit to work.
- You belong to more than two bike clubs and subscribe to more than two bike
magazines.
- You consider not being able to ride on your favorite ride as "the ultimate
tragedy."
- You hang on to your favorite biking outfits, like a child's teddy-bear, even
though they're tattered and torn.

So there you have it.  How'd you do with the test.  You may wonder - how do I
know these intimate secrets that you thought only you knew?  What can I say?  It
takes one to know one!

>"Are You An Incurable Bikeoholic? Take This Test!"

Thank Goodness, I failed the test. Only about 90% applied (well, maybe
91 or 92...). I figure anyone who's getting more than about 98 or 99% on the
test is edging into the danger zone :-)
                                        ken

    I came in at about 90%
    
    Parenthood took the other 10%
    
    steve

    
    Why do about 98% of these characteristics sound perfectly normal
    to me???  And not unusual at all!!!  :-)
    
    -john

    Persons responding in the affirmative to 99% are directed to refer to
    note 179.
    
    ed

    I failed 97%!!  But I love it.

    The one about a job being a "troublesome nuisance" cutting into
    riding time I liked :-)

    Other than that, I admit failing pretty miserably...

    Also, where were the complaints about weather (blizzards, hurricanes,
    etc.) interfering with riding?

    - Jim

>    Also, where were the complaints about weather (blizzards, hurricanes,
>    etc.) interfering with riding?

Just curious - why would hurricanes and blizzards interfere with riding???
                                     ken

    And like a true alcoholic, when someone asks you "So, you been riding
    much lately?" you reply (after a 250 mile week): "Oh, I've got out a
    little bit, I just ride once in a while for fun ..."
    

    
    
    I extracted it and forwarded it to my wife...wanted her to know she's
    not alone.  8^)

    re: .8, and when you get pulled over for weaving on the road, you say,
    "I just went a few miles."  :-)
    
    ed

>>    Also, where were the complaints about weather (blizzards, hurricanes,
>>    etc.) interfering with riding?

> Just curious - why would hurricanes and blizzards interfere with riding???
                                    
    Hey that's as close as conditions get to ideal in Scotland. OK, so you
    were all waiting for me to say that. Haven't disappointed you then,
    have I?  :*)
    
    Graham.
    
    P.S. We've already had ice on the roads up here. Looks like a bad
    winter...
    

    We've had ice on the roads here, too, Graham. Ye're not alone, laddie.
    
    Damnable Nor'easters!  Git thet weather o'er to Scotland where it
    belongs.
    
    ed

    Yes it could be fun winter.  In Edinburgh they're not going to salt the
    roads this year.
    
    rod
    Incidently I love this thread - and 179.* and would, like to add that I
    am in no way addicted I only agree to the criteria at 99%.

    Hello Scots way up north,
    
       I guess I have to apologize for complaining about the French driving
    style in the 2090 topic of this conference.  Graham was right in
    2090.14, I have no reason to complain with the Sun, Sea etc. here.
    The only ice and snow I found was after a mountain-bike climb to a 2200
    meter high col. 
    
       I do not consider myself a cycling addict, in Holland I always used
    to stop cycling during the winter. Rain, hail-storms and cold certainly
    do bother me. But right here you don't have to be an addict to
    continue cycling in the winter. So far the temperatures here are still 
    not cycling unfriendly.
    
    So have fun riding on those ici-roads in Scotland!
    
    Wout Davidse
    (Valbonne, France) 

     Well, I live in Gardner, MA (western Ma) and we had a snow storm...
    I wish it was just ice.
    
     Kinda depressing... I went with a coupla guys Sunday out int he woods
    ATB'ing. It was cold (ice on the river and puddles where we were), but
    hell, 5 minutes of MB'ing and you're sweating your nose off...
    
      Chip

    
    	Well Chip, the snow hit Scotland on Tuesday. Looks like it's time
    to put the ice pick in the saddlebag...
    
    Graham.
    

     Looks like a reprieve on this end for the weekend... Maybe 60 degrees
    which means the snow will be gone! 
    
     Ice picks work, but screw in some sheet metal scews into the ATB
    tires... 
    
      Chip

    Gardner in western Mass?  Snowstorm?  The snow will be gone?
    

     Re; my "exaggerations"... That certainly was a snow storm for this
    early... About 3" on my end... 
    
     Anyway, yesterday was great. Shorts & a regular cycling jersey. No
    cold weather gear at all! In November? In Gardner? The snow is
    definitely G-O-N-E and today has a chance of reaching 70! 
    
     Boy, this stuff is a spoiler...
    
     Chip_who_does_exaggerate_from_time_to_time_I_guess