Title: | Take my advice, you'd be better off DEAD |
Notice: | It's just a Box of Rain |
Moderator: | RDVAX::LEVY ::DEBESS |
Created: | Wed Jan 02 1991 |
Last Modified: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
Number of topics: | 580 |
Total number of notes: | 60238 |
Mods, move this if inappropriate..I have no permission to post these articles... This article appeared recently in the Washington Post: WP 07/30 The UnGrateful Deadheads; My Long, Strange Trip ... The UnGrateful Deadheads; My Long, Strange Trip Through a Tie-Dyed Hell By Carolyn Ruff She jumped from a window of a seedy motel on Market Street in San Francisco. From a room full of Deadheads she considered to be her family, she climbed out onto the ledge and then took one more step forward. No one made any attempt to stop her. I was on the street below and to this day remain thankful Iwas looking the other way. I don't even remember her name anymore. I suspect few remember her at all. We met at a Grateful Dead show in North Carolina. It was the end of the Dead's fall tour in 1989, I had just completed my first full tour and she had finished what would be her last. She was a bright, beautiful runaway from a loveless home in Pittsburgh. Like many of the hundreds on the tour, she was attracted to the scene around the Grateful Dead as much as the band itself. In the Deadheads, she thought she saw family. When we saw each other again a few months later in Miami, I was shocked by her mental deterioration. She rambled gravely about how her closest friends had stolen her clothes and her money. She shamefully recounted having sex with men in exchange for food and drugs. She had lice in her hair. She was hungry, lonely, miserable. Another Deadhead suggested that she medicate with acid to cleanse the dark thoughts from her head, and then swim in the ocean to rinse theblack film on her soul. This home remedy failed and a young life was lost within months of our meeting. That incident occurred five years ago, but recent headlines surrounding the Grateful Dead have taken me back to that time and to my own days on tour. As the itinerant band celebrates an astonishing 30 years on tour, it has been dogged by misfortune -- lightning struck fans earlier this summer at RFK Stadium in Washington, several dozen people were arrested outside a Dead concert in Albany and for the first time in three decades, a scheduled concert was canceled in Indiana for fear of crowd violence. None of this can be directly attributed to the band itself, but the incidents are nonetheless beginning to expose a darker, more malevolent side of the Grateful Dead milieu. Contrary to the image laid out by the Deadheads themselves, life on tour these days is far from peace, love and smiles. Capitalism, greed and betrayal would be more apt descriptions. Today's Deadheads wear the tie-dyed costumes of a past generation but aren't propelled by the same sense of moral rebellion. If bygone Deadheads were protesting war and social strife, today's seem only to be dissenters from real-world monotony. Unfortunately, like many of my generation's discontents, they are cynical, savvy and unhappy with their lives. In my seven years as a devoted Deadhead -- including two spent touring the country -- I came to take for granted that people would steal from a friend's backpack and rationalize their actions. I saw friends sleep with other friends' partners. I saw young women sexually assaulted after being unwittingly dosed with acid. I saw someone give a friend's dog acid just to watch it lose its mind. I saw people stranded in a strange city because their friends were impatient to hit the road. I saw people trash their friends' motel rooms, knowing that they would not be held responsible for the damage. With no legal system within the Deadhead culture, these injustices go unchallenged. Thankfully, violent acts of retribution have been few, but who knows if it will someday come to that? The common reaction when this sort of incident occurs is to get a bit meaner, shrewder and make a plan to do it back to someone else. Eventually, I came to dislike the music of the Dead because of the association I made between the band and its followers. It would be unfair to imply that all of those on tour engage in such loathsome behavior. There are many who revel in the shows and demonstrate respect not just for their fellow Tourheads but for the cities they visit. Their sole desire is to immerse themselves in the music and peacefully co-exist with others who feel the same. But the dominant culture is not so sanguine. In an attempt to escape the society they so disdain, the Deadheads have created a world underpinned by the same materialism and greed. Whether it be overpricing their wares or selling crack and ecstasy, the looming specter of capitalism rules supreme, and it is every bit as ruthless as that of the American mainstream. Newcomers naive enough to think otherwise quickly have their misconceptions dispelled. I met quite a few 14- and 15-year-old kids who came to tour without a penny and thought they could turn to other Deadheads for support. Somehow, they thought money didn't hold the same relevance that it does elsewhere. But unless you're a Trust fund Deadhead, sustained by the family fortune, everyone needs a scheme. Selling veggie sandwiches is one option, as is hawking jewelry or clothing. To make these businesses go, some Deadheads trek to Central America between tours to buy the Guatemalan jewelry and garb so popular among Dead followers. Others make their own products to sell. And with a steady flow of suburban kids who have the cash to spend on a $5 tofu burger and a $20 T- shirt, these entrepreneurs have an ideal location at Dead shows. But these business ventures take a level of initiative and planning beyond what most Tourheads are willing to expend. More typically, people make just enough money to cover food, lodging, their concert ticket and enough gas to get to the next city. If you are not good at selling or at least scamming, you will not make it on tour. Many Deadheads, while professing distrust and disdain for the government, make it by accepting food stamps and other public hand-outs. A walk down the streets of Berkeley or San Francisco, a popular hub of between-tour activity, is evidence enough that many Tourheads are also adept at panhandling, although this is not a profitable choice for survival. The drug trade is also an easy and rather lucrative route to sustenance. With perseverance, one can usually find suppliers of acid, mushrooms or ecstasy to resell, and the rising popularity of crack and heroin on tour is opening up new markets. There is the nuisance of undercover agents from the Drug Enforcement Administration, to say nothing of fellow Deadhead narcs, but this can add an element of excitement to a new career -- which for today's Deadheads is a tonic in itself. My initiation to the Grateful Dead came in 1986 and coincided with the band's resurgence back then. I was in college and had been more interested in the Clash and Flipper than wearing bells on my shoes and tie-dyeing every white shirt I owned. But after going to a few shows I grew enchanted, with the band and with the hordes of colorfully attired people who seemed like happy children at recess. I worked every conceivable retail job to finance my indulgence, choosing positions where there was little commitment. With the money I had saved and the cushion of a few credit cards, I was able to traverse the country with relative financial security. It also helped that I had family that, though preferring I settle down and get a job, made clear that I could rely on them if things got desperate. It might have been different had I joined the tour earlier. One retired Tourhead who requests anonymity for fear of losing a respectable job says the late 1980s ushered in a more amoral environment. "The demise of the Dead scene began in 1987 when going to shows became like going to some sort of pop scene," says this ex-Deadhead who himself was eventually scared away by the violence. He blames alcohol abuse for what he sees as an increased incidence of fighting, show-crashing and other disruptive behavior. Today's version of tour is a mockery of what the original Dead followers created. There is an attempt to form family units, but too often they aren't bound together by loyalty and trust. The members travel together, bunk together and, theoretically, provide the love and support that one might bestow on a relative. And, to a degree, there is a sense of sharing: In spurts of generosity, one person or a few will support the others by buying the gas or paying for the motel room. But typically this generosity is born of necessity -- everybody else is broke. Rarely do the relationships that develop transcend each person's own selfishness. Usually, the break occurs over money -- someone feels they've been cut out of a drug deal, or grows tired of supporting a parasitic family member. To survive on tour, it helps to have emotions encased in steel. Courtesy is not mandatory and verbal assaults, rude comments and sexist remarks are common in the course of a motel room conversation. People refer to each other freely as "sister" or "brother" but there was rarely the accompanying intimacy. Practically everyone goes by a nickname -- Woodstock, Scooter, Zeus, Rainbow, Jinx. Often, I never knew people's real first names, and rarely did I know their last. There was a degree of secrecy which supposedly stemmed from a paranoia of the law, but sometimes I wondered whether going by a fake name among friends was just a way of preventing anyone from getting too close. So what's the beauty of it all? The question for many on tour is probably: What's the alternative? "There is this core group of Tourheads who have dropped out of society and their only alternative is to follow the Dead," says Jill, another former Deadhead. These people live for tour to resume each season, but quickly grow disgusted. They boast of making enough money from the present tour to buy that land in Oregon and settle down. But more typically their money is blown on lavish hotel rooms, expensive meals, beer and drugs. Strung out and broke, they're left scrambling for someone to support them until tour begins again. And so a cycle evolves: Many may want to try a new life but have become ensnared in the tour culture. Financially, they know no other way to make money other than selling wares on tour. Socially, whether they truly like them or not,the people on tour are the only friends they have. Alienated and fearful of whatthe real world is about, they settle into what they know best: The Dead. Every time there is a scare that the Dead may stop touring, I find myself worrying about the lost souls who know nothing else but the parallel world of the Grateful Dead. Many are talented and have skills adaptable to the mainstream. It's those who use the Dead simply as an escape who will have difficulty adjusting to life without tour. Sadly, I cannot picture their future. They will surely endure the loss of the Dead's live performances, but can they handle the end of tour? That possibility seems ever more real with the current malaise surrounding the band. As the amount of violence and police confrontation has grown, so have concerns about how to curtail it. A group calling itself Save Our Scene has formed in an attempt to quash disruptive behavior. And through newsletters and the Internet, band members have practically begged their fans to clean up their act. If they don't, the Dead will stop touring, or so they threaten. In an open letter passed out to Deadheads at a recent St. Louis show and later posted on the Internet, the Dead told fans that "over the past 30 years we've come up with the fewest possible rules to make the difficult act of bringing tons of people together work well -- and a few thousand so-called Dead Heads ignore these simple rules and screw it up for you, us and everybody." Arguably, it is not the Tourheads who are responsible for the bad behavior, but local kids who view the parking lot at a Dead show as an invitation to party with complete abandon. Tourheads can blame the less devoted concert-goers, but it is these "outsiders" who buy the goods that sustain the Tourheads lifestyle. And it is the Tourheads who have created the atmosphere that is so appealing to revelers in the first place. The Dead went on to say, "If you don't have a ticket, don't come. This is real. This is a music concert, not a free-for-all party." To me, the issue of blame isn't really relevant. The real question is: How long did anyone think the party could last? -- Carolyn Ruff, a Washington Post news aide, attended close to 100 concerts in her seven years following the Grateful Dead.
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470.1 | positive article | CXDOCS::BARNES | Fri Aug 04 1995 13:43 | 395 | |
from Steve Silberman: The following contains my reply to the Washington Post. It is a reworked version of the essay that went out on AlterNet last week. Many of the grafs are familiar, but some are new and specifically responding to Carolyn Ruff's piece. I hope they find room for it. Enjoy! The Dead: 30 Years on the Road by Steve Silberman The Grateful Dead are on the road for their 30th year, but that isn't news. It's no glitzy, grab-the-bucks, "hell freezes over" reunion tour enshrined with a battery of MTV and VH-1 appearances, a quick turn on Letterman, and the cover of _Interview_. It's a couple of dozen cities and 70 shows or so, load in, make the people happy, and load out: business as usual. When the Dead have made headlines this summer, it's the tragic lightning-strikes and gate-crashing fans, nitrous-oxide purveyors and parking-lot predators which have been cast in the starring roles, rather than the music. The fact that the Dead have kept up a fertile conversation in song for three decades - in their quintessentially American synthesis of jazz improvisation, folk balladry, avant-garde soundscapes, transcultural rhythmatism, and good ol' time rock-and-roll redemption - takes the back seat to the collapsing balconies, the overdoses and seemingly-damning acts of God. Though the only accomplishment of comparable longevity in exploratory American musicmaking is, say, the Duke Ellington Orchestra - which suffered more changes of principal players than the Dead have - that's barely acknowledged, even by the Dead themselves. It's just Jerry Garcia up there under the lights again, spinning out another solo that lands nowhere you expect it to, singing in his broken angel's voice about trains, card games, and careless love. Garcia once quipped that the Dead, like old whores and architecture, simply stuck around long enough to become respectable. They did more than that. They managed to become the most financially successful touring rock and roll band in history without caving into industry homogenization or type-casting as a "'60s band," and without distilling the dissonant and unpredictable edge out of their music. Though the band's repertoire has become more predictable with the years, at nearly every show there's still one moment of pure discovery, a jam that goes somewhere it's never been before (and never will be again), an emotional peak which seems to boil up out of some primordial storehouse. I've been going to Dead shows, off and on, for all of my adult life. Going to see "the Boys" (as Deadheads affectionately refer to the bandmembers) in 1995 for me is like going back to the family house, though families don't live in houses for that long anymore. I look around me in the big halls, and glimpse faces I grew up with, kids when I was a kid who now bring their own sons and daughters to shows, to dance with them. I also see the Deadheads who are young now, who must feel like they're hitching a ride on the caboose of a great American locomotive that's been steaming down the silver track forever, since long before they were born. For them, the Dead must seem part of the natural world, like El Capitan or the Grand Canyon, inevitable and immortal. The Dead, however, and the extended family of Deadheads, are more like a fantastically intricate snowflake which has been sufficiently tenacious enough to drift over a glowing radiator for three decades without melting. At least part of the heat now being brought to bear on the Deadhead community is emanating from within, from the behavior of certain groups of people who go to shows. I won't say "fans," because someone who trashes a room at the Motel 6, bulldozes an arena fence, and spends the duration of the concert in the parking lot hawking beer or nitrous is not there to enjoy the music, and obviously doesn't care if the Dead and Deadheads will be welcomed back to the venue the following summer. I'm no stranger to the sleazy entrepreneurs and patchouli- doused petty larcenists who have attached themselves like suckerfish to the Deadhead touring community, vividly portrayed in Carolyn Ruff's article in last Sunday's _Post_, "The UnGrateful Deadheads: My Long, Strange Trip Through a Tie-Dyed Hell." On the other hand, Ruff's story does not tell the whole story, or even a large part of it. A longtime fan I know read Ruff's piece and objected, "It's like a microscopic picture of a tumor, not a portrait of the whole patient." I agreed, but pointed out that such a cross- section might be useful in a diagnosis. Even die-hard Deadheads have been forced by the first-ever cancellation, due to fan misbehavior, of one of the Dead's shows in June, to wonder if some cancer hasn't taken hold in this collective body which has been home to so many for so long. "Life on tour these days is far from peace, love and smiles," Ruff declares. "Capitalism, greed and betrayal would be more apt descriptions," she continues, citing the scams which give a small subgroup of tour-followers the means to stay on the road: rip-offs, double-crosses, injustices with no recourse in a community which prides itself on living outside certain laws. Part of the appeal of the Dead scene for kids who came of age up in "Just Say No" America is that Deadheads say yes to many things damned by the status quo. In the '80s, when youth culture traded its gadfly outsiderhood for the MTV quick-cut hard sell of brand-name looks, haircuts, and attitudes, Deadhead society prized that which was handcrafted and individually expressive. Mass- market ersatz tie-dyes were eschewed for hand-dipped one-of-a- kinds. Trademarked icons - like the distinctive skull-and-roses image that San Francisco poster artists Kelley and Mouse adapted from a 19th century illustration for _The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam_ - became elements in an original folk-art vocabulary, hand-stitched into dresses and denim jackets and silkscreened on t- shirts, to be sold at prices well below those at the local mall. In the parking lots outside of shows, impassioned circles of drummers locking into their own deep groove attracted more dancers than tapes of the band. "To live outside the law," cautioned Bob Dylan, "you must be honest." Heads put a premium on that kind of salty honesty that leaves no room for pretense, or for the self-serving duplicity which metastasized throughout the American body politic in the very decades that Dead crowds swelled from an intimate fan base to a stadium-filling phenomenon, attracting notice from the likes of _Fortune_ magazine. This find-your-own-way attitude carried into areas of personal conduct. For thousands of years, people have used psychedelics like peyote and psilocybin mushrooms, usually in the context of music and rituals passed down by tribal elders, to attain sacred states, and gain essential insights into the meaning of being human. It is in this traditional spirit that many Deadheads use these outlawed substances - so that some Heads refuse to call them drugs, preferring, in the manner of the Native American Church, to call them sacraments. The incidents cited by Ruff, of Heads being "dosed" against their will by fellow Heads or similarly abused, are not only contrary to the law of the land, they transgress Deadhead extended-family values. In a culture which values the sanctity of one's own mind above obeying local drug laws, committing someone to a psychedelic experience against their will is obviously a violation of the Deadhead prime directive. The people who Ruff cites as exemplary "Tourheads" - raping, feeding drugs to animals, abandoning their touring partners - would very quickly find themselves outcasts from Deadhead society, which survives, and protects its own, by maintaining an intimate word-of-mouth network,that now extends into cyberspace. The phrase "misfit power" is heard often around the Dead scene, a tribute to the fact that the Dead have kept their collective gaze set firmly on what was essential for their own growth as musicians - maintaining the acuity of listening, remaining open to the next whim of the Muse,and technically proficient enough to do Her justice - without regard to industry fashion. Additionally, since "Deadhead" is an honorific title one bestows on oneself, the Dead scene is singularly inclusive. In researching our book on Deadhead culture, my co-author and I interviewed Republican Deadheads, tie- dyed lesbian Deadheads, sober "Wharf Rats," lawyers who sport J.Garcia ties in the dock, Deadheads of color, "trustafarian" Heads on the family dole, Deadhead sociologists, Deadheads-for- Jesus, surgeons who unwind after an operation by spinning tapes, orthodox Jewish Deadheads - and the aides to one Deadhead who happens to be married to the Vice President of the United States. Before the paving of the information superhighway, the Dead community gave kids accustomed to suburban anomie a place where they could link up with something larger than themselves: a training ground in generosity for the offspring of the Me Decade, a road scholarship for learning to trust the instructive flow in the events of daily life. And now, nearly a hundred thousand "NetHeads" have translated the open-minded bonhomie and care for the commonwealth they were schooled in on Dead tour into good citizenship on the Internet; the kind of citizenship which doesn't require censorship to stand in for good sense and humane concern. For thirty years, the Dead scene has been a most miraculous beast: an anarchic society on wheels, an ongoing experiment in practicing "random kindness and senseless acts of beauty," as one bumpersticker says. Though tickets are harder to get, the venues are more cavernous, and the DEA has discovered that it's easier to slam Little Ivy sophomores bartering 'shrooms into the state pen than face down crack dealers, one thing that there has never been a shortage of on the Dead scene is joy. As the world beyond the Tie-Dyed Barrier becomes increasingly conservative and belligerent, however, Dead tour more and more resembles a life raft in choppy, shark-filled seas. For a group that defines itself as misfits and outsiders - yet welcomes anyone who clambers onboard - questions of self-discipline and guidance from within loom large. One casualty of the mid-'80s Deadhead growth-spurt was a natural enculturation process, of older Heads taking younger Heads under their wing, and demonstrating by example what sorts of conduct have helped keep the community self-sustaining. To address these issues, a group of concerned Deadheads has founded a task force called Save Our Scene, which will work with Heads, venue staffs, and the media to ensure that Dead shows continue to be a boon not only to Deadheads, but to the local communities along tour routes. More than "an attempt to quash disruptive behavior," as Ruff put it, SOS aims to reassert the primary values of the Dead community. As Deadheads are allergic to dogma, one of the first tasks SOS faces is to formulate what those values are, in the absence of any authority more central than the hearts and minds of those involved. The savvy of professional Deadheads who "got lives" beyond Dead tour years ago, and have learned how to be, as Walt Whitman put it, "both in and out of the game" of mainstream life, should prove of utmost practical usefulness to this noble effort. I feel sad that the 30th year of the Dead's creative vigor is being celebrated with ominous news reports, but the Dead have always been committed enough to their own creative vision not to be distracted by excessive praise or blame. Jerry Garcia never claimed to be captain of anybody's trip but his own, for better and worse. At Dead concerts, during those breakthrough moments in the music when a vitality beyond words momentarily banishes the woes of the world, the teenage "newbies" and grizzled older folks who have been "on the bus" for light-years, turn to one another in a shared moment of recognition. And through it all, the collective body dances, poised on the brink of a mystery. The headlines will fade away. The music, transcendent memories, and workable models of community developed over three decades will not, because they are woven in our bones. Happy Anniversary, Boys. Steve Silberman is the co-author of _Skeleton Key: A Dictionary for Deadheads_ (Doubleday '94). His email address is [email protected]. (415) 681-3401 109 Alma Street S.F., CA 94117 | |||||
470.2 | DELNI::DSMITH | We've got mountains to climb | Fri Aug 04 1995 15:11 | 12 | |
Sounds like the author of the first article was into the "scene" a little too much. Perhaps she ought to consider a career path in socialology instead of journalism. She neglects to mention anything about those raging, stellar, performances that leave you on your hands and knees. The kind that when you exit the show it's hard to speak anything but "aahh duhhh". The ones that entice you to be on tour and make it all worthit. She needs a show! ;-) I like the second clip much better. | |||||
470.3 | get a clue | CSLALL::LEBLANC_C | In n' out of the Gaahden they go! | Fri Aug 04 1995 15:36 | 3 |
YEAH! us undercover_DEA_narc_deadheads are a respectable bunch :^) |