Conference rdvax::grateful

    
    My dog took off for a few hours about two weeks ago.  About midnight I
    went down to my front door and called her. I heard her collar jingling 
    so I stood there with the front door open.  She came bolting in the
    front door by me and she had antlers sticking out above her head from
    her mouth.  I started chasing her around the house and she wasn't going
    to let me catch her and take away her trophy.   I finally cornered her
    and took away the deer skull with antlers intact.  Man, was she pissed
    to have to give up the skull.  
    
    I thought it must have been someone's lawn ornament or something so I
    just put it up on the kitchen counter until morning.  Lisa, got me out
    of bed and was all pissed that I put the skull up there. It turned out
    to still have some meat and a little fur on it.  Oh well, I thought it
    was a cool find.
    
    	Mark

    Our cat, Jazz, got into Joyce's sewing stuff and we noticed a spool of
    thread getting batted around her work room (Joyce's not Jazz's).  I
    retrieved the spool and the thread lead to where Jazz was chewing away.
    
    I grabbed Jazz and began to remove the thread from his mouth.  He had
    swalled quit a bit of it and I slowly, carefully removed about 3 feet
    of it from his belly.  It was just like the type of thing a magician
    does when he/she pulls a neverending hankie from his/her pocket.
    
    Jazz quietly sat there and allowed me to do this without a struggle.
    
    I have another story about the time Jazz ate some of that fake "grass"
    used in Easter baskets.  That time I had to remove it from the end
    opposite from his mouth.  It was the queerest and messiest thing.  I'll
    spare you the smelly details.
    
    :-)
    
    Marv
     

re                     <<< Note 347.2 by TRACTR::MACINTYRE >>>
                       -< The things we do for love... >-

>    used in Easter baskets.  That time I had to remove it from the end
>    opposite from his mouth.  It was the queerest and messiest thing.  I'll
>    spare you the smelly details.
 
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!


:-)

    Grate topic!!
    
    Good ole Shep, our shepard mix from hell rescued from death's door at
    the pound!  I keep reminding him he'd be dead by now if we didn't
    rescue him, but he just kinda looks at me and still get's in trouble
    from time to time.
    
    Nothing beats the day I take him on a walk so he can relieve himself. 
    He finds a bush, lifts his leg and POOPS!!
    
    That's his claim to fame so far.
    
    The second biggest blunder he's made was the time I decided to come
    home from work early.  I drive up the drive to our townhouse and notice
    the drapes in the picture window are MISSING!!  Shep went spastic for
    some reason and jumped in the picture window.  He must of jumped out and
    took everything with him including nik-naks and the drapes!
    
    Then the night he decided to eat the brownie mix.  We had to call the
    all night, on-call vet because his stomach was swollen and hard as a
    rock.  He looked pretty miserable.  He was fine until he decided to add
    water to the mix!!  :^)
    
    He's pretty funny loooking too:  instead of his ears sticking straight
    up or dropping down, they stick out to the sides. He looks like the
    Flying Nun!
    
    I remember the day I found him at the pound:  I was walking through
    looking at all the sad faces, when this dog runs from the back of the
    cage, stands up against the cage door and stares me right in the eye!
    Who found who?
    
    We basically never know what to expect when we enter the house every
    day after work.
    
    And the saga continues.....
    
    dave

Do 1.5 yr old kids qualify?

I took Charlie out for his very first bike-carrier ride last night after a
three month ordeal of "easy assembly" (The damned kid carrier came in 104
pieces). His stupid pet trick?  For the whole 5 mile ride he kept making
engine noises: "Rrrrr Rrrrr Rrrrr Rrrr". On top of this, he'd occasionally
bop himself on his helmet to prove he was adequately protected.  It made
three neighbors spit-take their beers as we went by.  He was horse this
morning. 

:-)

I'm getting my driveway re-surfaced.  When the second contractor came around
to give me an estimate, my daughter Jessica asked me about it on the drive
home.

Jessie: "Dad, howcome two different guys came to do our driveway"

Me: "Because I wanted a second opinion about it."

Jessie: "Ok.  You're stupid.  And you're ugly, too."

Me: "You're grounded."

tim

    which part did she get right , Tim? %^)
    
    It's 'bout 3 oclock in the morning, location 10,000 feet, gotta relieve
    myself BAD!! Bears out thar? Pumas? Better let the dog out (not Arti the
    Assh*le, Cosmic KAdy the 100 lb german shepard) for a recon mission..
    She reports back "all OK"...start around the side of the cabin towards
    the woods and outhouse..."what's zat? eyes shinin in the dark, sick 'em
    Kad!" SHe takes of after the boogiman, sticks her nose it "it",
    immediately does an aboutface and RUNS in my direction being chased by
    a BIG skunk. I turn and beat her to the front door, skunk still in
    pursuit, slam the door on Kady and holler "yer on yer own!" Skunk
    chases Kady around the house 2-3 times, I roll on floor 2-3 times,
    crackin up. Tomatoe juice NEVER works, couple of boxes of baking soda
    absorbed the skunk oder molecules and when she shook, the dust from the
    baking soda carries away the skunk oder molecules. At least we (Patty
    and I) in the front seat didn't think she smelt that bad...the kids,
    sitting in the back with Kady, begged to differ.....
    

hey rfb ... just for future reference, mouth wash works for skunked pups!

    mouthwash? how'd ya get yer dog to gargle and spit? %^)
    
    never heard of that one! I've found dogs react to skunks differently
    than porky-pines. Once sprayed, a dog remembers and dosen't usually
    make the same mistake twice. Once stuck, a dog remembers and attacks a
    porky everytime! 
    
    rfb

>    make the same mistake twice. Once stuck, a dog remembers and attacks a
    
Unless its a dumb dog, like my friend Wally's, whose gotten sprayed dozens 
of times. He uses this stuff he got from the vet which is made specifically 
for getting skunk smell off your stupid pets...

    ya, brains means alot with dogs...i have a brainless dog and a brainfull 
    dog
    
    rfb

when dogs are smart they are real smart!  My dog Pokey used to go to my Aunts
house on her own (3 blocks away) and sit in the corner with the cookie jar 
until she got one.  Then she'd go to the other Aunt (another couple of blocks)
and do the same.  ;^)

	I have one... about my brother's dog, a doberman mix.	
	They live a couple of blocks from Wollaston Beach in Quincy.
	Along the entire beach is a concrete wall where a lot of
	people hang out and stuff.  Just over the wall is the beach
	itself, the sand, then the water.

	Shemp likes to hit the beach.  When he's close enough to be
	set free he'd run like lightning and just scale that concrete
	wall and sail over it airborne into the sand, and he'd be off.

	Well, one day the tide was *really* high, and water was right
	up to the concrete wall.  So Shemp takes off and scales that 
	concrete wall, sailing over it airborne right into the cold
	ocean water!  He looked humilated when he came out all soaked ;-);-)

	Ken

    I've got a story about a friend of mine's dog.  Caesar had just been
    treated for an ear infection of some sort and had to wear one of those
    things that looks like a mega-phone on his head.  Whenever he tried to
    go up the stairs into the house, the bottom section of his head gear
    would catch on the stair and keep him from going any further.
    
    He would back up and walk forward and do it over again until someone
    noticed him and held his head up for him.  He kinda' looked like a toy
    soldier running into the wall over and over and over again. :-)
    
    	Mike

    Some years ago, I was riding my bike up a long hill about 2 miles from
    my farm.  This neighbors dog (about 100 lb. mixed breed) came out to
    chase me.  Considering my mass, and the incline of the hill, it was no
    contest.  He was running beside me holding gis head kinda sideways,
    timing my peddle strokes, so he could get a really good bite in. 
    
    I was not armed, and I knew this dog was meaner than sh*t.  WHAT TO
    DO???
    
    In my best command voice I ordered "GO LAY DOWN STUPID".
    
    He dropped like a stone.  For all I know, he may be laying there still.
    8>o
    
    Judy
    

When we had just Jazz (golden retriever/black lab mix), we had no problems
with items getting taken off the kitchen counter/table.  We kept Jazz in 
the kitchen while we were at work.  Then came "Bailey the Beast!", the
black lab/german shephard mix.  Unlike Jazz, who is small for her breeds,
Bailey is becoming a full-sized dog!  6 months old and 50 lbs!  Not long
after we got her (she and Jazz get along just grate and have a ball together),
items started getting dragged of the counter: towels, pictures, papers,
anything.  This morning, I did not get to give the doggies their daily
45 minute walk.  Went home for lunch to find that 2 kitchen drawers had been
opened up, and the kitchen towels and a package of aluminum foil had been
taken out and spread all over the floor!  When I arrived, they were happy to
see me.  When I looked at the mess, the tails went between their legs and
they skulked back under the kitchen table.....guess I was in a peaceful and
happy mood (saw my new nephew just before coming home), so I just looked at
them.  Gave them each a gentle bop on the head with the aluminum foil tube,
and got my lunch.

Bailey looks like the Flying Nun too!!!!  She's got those German Shephard
ears, but they're floppy like a Lab's.

I have plenty of stories, but I just don't have the time to write about all
the dumb things my puppies do :^)  More later.....I'm sure.

Hogan

    how bout pet stories that make YOU look silly??
    
    new neighbors moved in next door middle of winter. I wake up one
    morning and the dogs, put out by my early rising daughter, are barkin
    like crazy right outside our bedroom door. I get outa bed, 
    naked as a j-bird, rip the door open and yell at the top of 
    my morning lungs "What the F*$# is goin on!!!!" and come 
    eye to eye with the new cute, blonde
    neighbor lady whose grabbing her cat off the fence outa reach of our
    dogs...."oh, HI!" was all i could think of to say.....she didn't say
    anything
    
    rfb

    re: -.1
    
    	haaaa haaa haaaa! :-0

    Just remember, rfb, first impressions are everything.
    
    ;-)
    
    tim
    

> Just remember, rfb, first impressions are everything.
  
Nah ... it's no big thing really.

;-)

>>> Just remember, rfb, first impressions are everything.
  
>Nah ... it's no big thing really.

That's what she said ;^)

;-)

easy now folks, eeeeesssssszzzzyyy now!




i can just picture you doing that rfb!!!!!!!!!


:-)

    i haven't replied to the last few replies on purpose....thought I'd let
    ya'll have some fun...%^)
    
    rfb

    The Woodcraft Supply Corp in woburn is  giving a series of workshops,
    one of which is:
    
          Carving Playful Bear Cubs with a Chain Saw