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Conference rdvax::grateful

Title:Take my advice, you'd be better off DEAD
Notice:It's just a Box of Rain
Moderator:RDVAX::LEVY::DEBESS
Created:Wed Jan 02 1991
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:580
Total number of notes:60238

248.0. "Primitive Instincts Prevail" by MILKWY::SLOMSKI () Mon Mar 23 1992 14:36

    
    Primitive drives prevail.
    
    I MUST hunt down and kill small marine
    creatures and eat them.
    
    Preferred creatures are fish.
    
    Weapon of preference is SPEARGUN.
    
    Can anyone out there help ?
    
    Mike
    
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
248.1CSLALL::HENDERSONIs that wicked wind still blowin'?Mon Mar 23 1992 14:5512

I know there's an ocean just east of here :^)








 Jum
248.2Spear chucking in America...SPICE::PECKARShadow skiing the apocalypseMon Mar 23 1992 14:5620
	The Spearpro 3600 is a good one, good action, excellent accuracy, but 
some owners have complained of brittleness in the recock spindle, which could 
cause breakage during mission critical moments. Rod, Reel and Javilin Pro 
magazine reccomends replacing the whole spindle assembly with a pencil 
sharpener.

	The Ribco Harpmiester is just plain inferior in both workmanship and 
construction material. A nice starter for the kiddies, though.

	The Spinerator Excaliber is a lot of money to throw away at a Mother of 
pearl inlaid spear chucker. Well balanced, though.

	All in all, you'll never be happy until you make one yourself.
Spearmaking Made Simple, A 485 page guide with 689 illustrations can be of
great assistance. Send $14.95 to Artificial Recreations  P.O. box 555, St Loius
Mo. 58276 

	I suppose you probably carve one outta a sappling, too, but really, 
this is the ninties...
248.3:^)JUNCO::DWESTDont Overlook Something ExtraordinaryMon Mar 23 1992 15:2216
    
    i have a hard time thinking of this as sport...  it will not really 
    be fair and sporting until the fish have a means of fighting back...
    
    so in response to this situation, i have developed a a new device...
    easily operated by even the most shallow dwelling guppy, it very much
    resembles a rod and reel...  the principle is simple...  the fish runs
    a hook through a cheesburger and bribes a turtle to drag it up onto the
    beach...  when an unsuspecting human comes by and eats the cheesburger,
    the guppy activates a hydro-powered (of course) reel and drags the
    human kicking and screaming to a watery grave when it is ripped apart
    and feasted upon by a number of marine animals and crustaceans...
    
    only costs a few clams...  but the fish aren't biting...  yet...
    
    					da ve
248.4CSLALL::HENDERSONIs that wicked wind still blowin'?Mon Mar 23 1992 15:2620

RE:   <<< Note 248.3 by JUNCO::DWEST "Dont Overlook Something Extraordinary" >>>
                                    -< :^) >-

    
   >    only costs a few clams...  but the fish aren't biting...  yet...
    
    
  Wouldn't be trying to hook us into a few puns with that line, now would you
  da ve? 



  :^)




 Jum
248.5:^)JUNCO::DWESTDont Overlook Something ExtraordinaryMon Mar 23 1992 16:407
    moi?????  (he asked, feigning innocense and surprise at such an
    outlandish suggestion???)
    
    let's just say i've been waiting with baited breathe to see what would
    happen...
    
    					da ve
248.6CSLALL::HENDERSONIs that wicked wind still blowin&#039;?Mon Mar 23 1992 16:4910

 Well, I'm afraid you won't CATCH me in your trap this time, da ve :^)..I'm 
 reel busy.





Jum
248.7Julie loves to fish tooSLOHAN::FIELDSIts sad,so sad &#039;cus the Circus Left TownMon Mar 23 1992 16:587
    I like to fish but throw them back (Bring a camera and say smile you
    little fishy you ) ....I always thought if I was snaged off the 
    street how sad my Mom & Dad would be....I also use the least
    damaging hook, it comes out without ripping the fishies' mouth up,
    unles the sucker took it all the way in.....not much you can do there.
    
    Chris
248.8Hook line and sinker...AIMHI::KELLERI&#039;m P.U. Politically UncorrectTue Mar 24 1992 10:165
Oh Cod, Would you guys quit floundering around with this line of puns. You're 
giving me quite a haddock, even though I know you're doing it just for the 
halibut.

Geoff:-) 
248.9DECWET::HAMBYTue Mar 24 1992 13:327
    Would it be a gaff(e) to admit to getting green around the gills? I
    mean, the creel is full of puns and I've never known one that smelt so
    badly. My bas(s)ic instincts tell me it's time to cast about for a new
    perch. The lure of trying to tip the scales would be my sole reason not
    to run, but some schools would see that as carping.
    
    John
248.10Help on the way,... NOT?STAR::SALKEWICZIt missed... therefore, I am Tue Mar 24 1992 14:346
    Phyllis,... do something!
    
    :-0
    
    								/
    
248.11CSLALL::HENDERSONIs that wicked wind still blowin&#039;?Tue Mar 24 1992 15:3117

RE:     <<< Note 248.10 by STAR::SALKEWICZ "It missed... therefore, I am " >>>
                       -< Help on the way,...      NOT? >-

   > Phyllis,... do something!
    
    
  I think she's staying outta this one on porpoise :^)    
    						


 


 Jum    

248.12fish puns-r-us!JUNCO::DWESTDont Overlook Something ExtraordinaryTue Mar 24 1992 16:417
    hey now John Hamby!!!!
    
    after .9, i must tip my pun-chapeau to you sir!  i am most impressed!
    
    				:^) :^) :^)
    
    					da ve
248.13DECWET::HAMBYTue Mar 24 1992 18:046
    Re: .12.
    
    Well, gosh. I never expected to receive an accolade from a pundit such
    as da ve.
    
    John
248.14firmll on the fence overe hereSTAR::SALKEWICZIt missed... therefore, I am Tue Mar 24 1992 18:1415
    yeah,. the pun density in .9 is what inspried me to call on the big
    guns,.. er Phyllis to put an end to it,..
    
    I mean .. on the punning scalem,.. I reun somewhere near the middle.
    One day I'm in here punning with the best of 'em,,. and another
    day I'm over in the corner puking with Phyllis...
    
    but .9 was like "dense* man....
    
    		:-0
    
    				:-)
    
    							/
    
248.15ignore the 1CX3PT1::REDWNG::SMITHTue Mar 24 1992 22:0011
    
    
    Re:7
    
    
     Hey now Chris1 One to do less damage is to bend the barb down, it
    makes catching little fishes even harder.
    
    
    divide dave
    
248.16Catch Kill EatMILKWY::SLOMSKIWed Mar 25 1992 08:483
    Not interested in catching for 'sport'
    
    Catch, Kill, Eat
248.17TERAPN::PHYLLISfly through the nightThu Mar 26 1992 10:079
    
    Sorry /, I was up north yesterday and missed this note.  Maybe next
    time you could send me some warning in email so I'll know to page over
    it when I get back??  PLEASE?? 
    
    I know there's gotta be a way for this smart little machine to set them
    hidden for me.. just haven't figured out how yet. ;-)
    
    
248.18Speaking of spears...SPICE::PECKARShadow skiing the apocalypseWed Apr 08 1992 16:1914
	Just finished an innerstin' book called "War of the Newts", written in
1936 by a Czsecheslovokian dude whose name I can't pronounce.  Vonnegut-esque
black humor/sci-fi about a race of ocean-dwelling salamanders who can walk and
talk on land and that are exploited and screwed over by the humans until
finally they revolt; humans gave them spears ostensibly as aid in helping them
ward off sharks.  Real timely, actually, given how little the world has learned
about the lessons of the twenties and thirties like rampant capitalism (Stock
market crash), over induldant new media (remember newclips?), racism (rise of
hitler), and other malaises of the times such as poor education. 

Really, how far has society progressed since those dark years of our history?
Besides, being funny and entertaining, This book reminded me of what we are not
now... 
248.19my probing analysis ;^)AWARD::CLARKI&#039;m still aliveWed Apr 08 1992 17:071
People don't change much.
248.20CXDOCS::BARNESWed Apr 08 1992 17:131
    re .18 Cool! I love salamanders!
248.21SPOCK::IRONSMon Apr 13 1992 10:243
    "The two yewts."  "What's a yewt?"
    
    dave
248.22CXDOCS::BARNESMon Apr 13 1992 11:461
    a sorta dislexix, confused newt....