Conference rdvax::grateful

>    Marv_who's_looking_for_perspective 
    
Hmmm....interesting topic, Marv. 

I guess I get my perspective by looking in two directions: first, I
look at my daughter, who is completely dependent on me for everything.
I ask myself, "Is it worth getting up early everyday, putting on a
stupid suit and tie, going into Manhattan and busting my butt for
8-9-10 hours?"  Then I look into her 7 month old smiling face, and
answer, "Yup, it's worth it."  Then, I think about my father, and how
he busted his butt working his way up the corporate ladder for 35
years; he ended up neglecting his wife and kids, getting divorced, and
having two heart attacks and triple-bypass surgery (smoking 2 packs a
day). I ask myself, "Is this shit worth ruining my health (mental and
physical) over?"  And I answer, "Nope, it isn't." 

For me, I think my family is counting on me to pay the mortgage much
more than DEC is counting on me to be creative.  DEC will get along
fine without me; in tough times we're all expendable to DEC, but none
of us is expendable to our families.  I guess we all have to deal with
a lot of anxiety at work these days, but I think things will get
better.  If I feel constrained at work, I just wait 'till 5:00 when I
can do whatever the hell I want!  If work is a drag, I just try harder
to appreciate my free time, when I can still learn to speak German, or
play the piano, or write a book, or read about cosmology, or walk in
the woods, or teach my daughter to say, "DADDY!!" 

I try to remember that the pressures of work are on everybody, and
nobody should take it personally.  And I'm determined to NEVER let 
work-related junk interfere with my self-esteem and my freedom to 
dream dreams and think great thoughts.

tom

re:                     <<< Note 170.0 by XCUSME::MACINTYRE >>>
    
    I don't feel I have to compromise my values around here. In other words, 
    I never did conform and everyone eventually got used to it. :-) Besides, 
    they gave me my own damn boat here and I can rock it all I want. :-)
    
    - Ger

    re: .3
    
    Of course, I *am* compromising myself in a way by merely working for
    someone else for a living, but that's a whole 'nuther story. 

I wonder about this from time to time.  I don't think I'm compromising
any values.  I try to stay out of the political thing as much as I can,
I have fun at work and encourage my group to do the same (while working 
towards the goals we set).  If the "L" word is going to happen its going to
happen.  Don't know how much control I'll have over it anyway.  I worry about
how I'll take care of my familial obligations should it happen, but I don't
see much opportunity on my part to control what is or is not going to happen.




Jim

    Marv,
    
    What you've described doesn't sound so much like you've compromized
    your values, as much as you've prioritized them.  I've had to devote a 
    lot of time in introspection lately, and looked at such decisions in my 
    own life in the last 6-12 months.   Both personal (I've recently
    divorced) and professional issues have given me a lot to think about!
    
    IMO, we sometimes feel guilty when our values come into conflict and we
    have to choose one at the expense of the other.  I've had to make a lot
    of tough decisions that directly or indirectly impacted the lives of my
    three kids - and then hope that I made the right choices.  They are
    completely dependent on me to take care of them, and hence I always
    feel any decisions I make must be prejudiced by that fact.  Sometimes I
    have to do things that I find objectionable, or NOT do something that I
    feel I should have.  Usually, though, I can defer that sort of thing
    until the kids are safely out of harm's way.  Sometimes it's more
    important NOT to take a stand, at least until the risks are acceptable.
    It isn't cowardice to suffer to defer one's own preference for the good of
    the family.  IMHO, that takes more courage.
    
    If you challenge the status quo, and in doing so end up unemployed next
    month, will it have been worth it?  If you don't, or you simply wait
    awhile, can you live with it?  I have a hard time finding anything at
    work that is worth that kind of risk, but I'm sure my environment is
    different from yours.
    
    Here's an example:  I joined Greenpeace last April in Orlando.  Been
    wanting to for years.  Last month, I was assigned to support Florida
    Power, who has the only nuclear power plant in the neighborhood (90
    miles north of here).  That's a conflict, IMO.   Do I decline my
    assignment, and risk being on 'the list', or do I concede, and help
    support a technology that I know is abhorent to the environment?  With
    help from some friends, I decided how to address it and still live with
    myself...
    
    tim
    

    I know where your coming from, Digital has changed in the last 9-12
    months, we are getting closer to the fortune 500 type of environment,
    that I left 8+ years ago. I also have the same feelings that you
    mentioned in your base note. I know my responsibilities as the major
    bread winner, I also have thought long and hard about what happens
    if I am tapped to go. I have a son in college, and one in 11th
    grade, so the expensive years are here for my wife and I. This is
    not the time to push back,and use the open door policy. I almost
    feel like I am "selling out". Sometimes I think it's mid-life
    crisis, the recession etc..... I guess all we can do is hang in there.
    

"Is it tomorrow, or just the end of time?"

				- Jimi Hendrix

Being single, owning no real estate, and having ZERO debt, I do not have a
lot to worry about (compared to folks who have morgages and a family to care
for).

So, I live for today, and basically don't worry a lot about the future.  If I
get cut from DEC, I look at it as the kick in the ass I need to re-locate
out of New England and try something completely different.  For DEC, this is
good -- because I still put in a productive day, and if I think something 
needs to be changed, I voice my opinion.  My manager is pretty open and very
business-minded.  He'll ask people in meetings to send him ideas on HOW we
can be more productive.  Things like, "what gets in your way" or, if you
have an idea that will bring in REVENUE, let him know.  

Right now, I'm the project leader of the *ONLY* product in our entire cost
center (80+ folks) that is justifying our budget.  FOr me, this is goodness.
The people in my group working on other projects might have a reason to
worry.  I think I'm pretty safe, but then again, I'm not holding my breath...
If I get axed, so be it...

I never let work get me stressed-out or take over my life.  I once took a 
stress course at DEC and when I asked my mgr, they laughed saying "go ahead
but you don't need it because you're the most relaxed person in the group!"

I can see though, when one's life gets more busy, that job security is
very important... to me... I ain't got nothin' to lose but my job.  My
old '81 Chevy will still tick no mattah the situation......

Good luck to all.  It is going to be a long, hard, scary year for Digital.
For those of you who have ideas to improve REVENUE, try the Delta thing.
Maybe they'll listen.

Remember, DIGITAL *MUST* answer to the stockholders.

peace,
JC

	Thank my lucky dark stars, almost all the people I've
    worked for generally treated me with the dignity and respect
    people generally hope for, and usually expect, in their 
    relationships with others.   I'm just as grateful that
    most of the people I've worked with did the same.

    	For a time, I worked for the psycho-god-boss-monster-
    from-hades.  It felt bad, real bad.  When I look back on 
    it, I figure I learned something about the neccessity of
    managing my manager. 
    
       On many days, there are thoughts that creep forward
    from the back of my mind, where I pushed them.  Thoughts
    like, "Why am I building computers;  what are the real
    socioecological ramifications of this; and who needs them
    anyway?"  These kind of questions challange me and
    are uncomfortable to deal with.  After all, I need to
    work, and this is just the work I do.  I don't feel
    inconsequential answers are at hand, but as long as the
    people I work with treat me right, it doesn't seem
    so bad.
                             
        '..the old fisherman sail alone, sail alone,
    someday he'll be gone...'        

    That's my perspective.
    
    KenB

>                     <<< Note 170.7 by XCUSME::MACINTYRE >>>
>                             -< What about this? >->
>
>    Hypothetical situation:
>    
>      You come up with an idea.  Pass it around to other people who's
>    judgement you respect.  Everyone of them applaudes the idea and
>    encourages you to go with it.
>    
>      You then bring it to your boss and it is shot down.  Reasons are
>   vague, something like, "It is not the best use of our limited
>   resources."   The manager expresses his/her opinion and then DIRECTS
>   you to cease any action on the proposal.
>    
>    Do you fight him/her or do you go along and put it aside?
>    
>    
>    Marv


In a case like this in the times we are in, if you really think it is a good 
idea and you have support from others and think that it will increase 
productivity, or customer satisfaction or will save or make the company money 
then by all means take it to your manager's manager.

When you talk to him/her you may want to tell him/her what your manager 
thought about it and told you to do with it. Ask him/her to please give you an 
honest opinion of your idea and if he/she thinks that it is not the right 
thing at the present time to please refrain from mentioning it to your manager 
and the reasons why.

There are alot of people out there running scared who don't want to lose their 
little feifdoms a lot of times good ideas destroy feifdoms by eliminating 
stovepipes. This companmy has a serious case of NTOH (not thought of here) and 
if we don't fix this disease we are going to go down the tubes very rapidly. 
We have to start think like a team and not like a bunch of little companies 
all trying to screw each other to make or keep their budget. There are too 
many people in this company who look at the budget and act as if it were there 
own personal money/power.

I know that it is tough for an individual, who has to support a spouse and 
kids or parents or whatever, to take chances that might affect his/her earning 
potential. But then again if you can't live with your self and your values 
what is the point. There is life outside of Digital. You might not get the job 
you want at the same pay but there is always a way to get by.

In the end you have to live with yourself, forever.

I hope this helps and I'm glad I'm not in this situation at the moment. It 
would be a very tough decision. My nine month old really likes being fed at 
regular hours (8:00am - 8:00pm nonstop:-)) and having a roof over his head.

Best of luck in your decision.

Geoff

    Tomorrow is my last day with Digital, I am getting the TFSO package,
    with a 34 week paid vacation with health benefits. I am married with
    a 6 month old son...and this question of compromising values has
    haunted me most of my 8 years here with Digital, but in the last year
    has escalated alot. There have been times that I have felt that my
    current job was killing me, the demands, the stress, schedules...were
    too much to handle...but after a week or two a new project would come
    together that I felt enthused to work on, and I put all my energy into
    it...and things got better for awhile. It was a cyclic kindof thing.
    
    If you feel your job is stressing you out, making you resentful of the
    people you work with, getting you frustrated in the morning to have
    get up and go to work, if you feel like you can't take it anymore, I'd
    say, give it up and quit. You want your self esteem and your mental and
    spiritual states of being to flow. If you hate yourself and your job,
    that isn't going to happen. You'll suffer, your family and friends and
    co-workers will feel your bad vibes as well. It comes down to really
    following what you love to do and doing it. If it is at DEC....do it
    here...if it isn't happening with you here...ask yourself do you really
    want to feel shit*y and still get up everyday doing a job you hate.
    
    My theory is by following what you love to do, feeling good about
    yourself in doing it, and putting your energy and enthusiasm behind it,
    with your Will to make it happen...the Universe will support you,
    because you want to succeed, and the Cosmos wants you to succeed as
    well. You'll find the support and help in many different directions
    that will come to your aid.
    
    Good Luck Everyone!
    Goodbye and takecare!
    
    -Arthur 8-)
    

RE .12




Good luck to you and your family.







Jim

    good luck Arthur...see you at ashow maybe...
                                                rfb

     
     take care and my life be filled with shows..
    
    
    Divide Dave