Conference moira::parenting_v3

    I had two cats when my first baby was born.  They were around 7 and 4
    years old at the time and VERY spoiled.  They also had never been
    around kids for any amount of time.
    
    I just let the cats sniff the baby and look at him whenever they wanted
    to.  My calico was the most curious - she took up residence in my sons
    diaper holder (for clean diapers - not dirty!)  Also, whenever he cried
    she would jump into his crib and curl up at his feet.  My other cat
    would sleep in the crib until the baby moved - then he'd jump out like
    something bit him!
    
    The one thing I've noticed is that those two cats, while they NEVER
    scratched any of my babies also never let the kids pick them up and
    allowed only limited petting.  Unfortunately, both these cats are now
    gone and we've gotten new cats.  The new cats were kittens were we got
    them and they let the kids do ANYTHING to them (within limits - I NEVER
    allow the kids to be cruel to them!).  Our gray tabby sits with my kids
    at the breakfast table and gets their leftover milk (my husband is gome
    to work by then or that wouldn't happen!)  The kids can pick them up,
    pet them, play with them, etc.  The cats sleep with them more than me! 
    
    So, I guess my advice is to not worry and just let "nature take it's
    course".  Give the cat as much attention as you can (you'll find he
    gets relegated to third party quite often) and give him a chance to
    really check the baby out.  You may hear from people that have
    different opinions on cats and kids but we had a very smooth
    adjustment!
    
    Linda

    One more thing - my cats FAVORITE place at the dinner table is DIRECTLY
    under the highchair!  They had to fight the dog for this place every
    night!  NEVER a dirty floor!
    
    8*)

I found that my kitty's favorite place for napping while I was pregnant was
right on top of my very huge belly.   For a while after Graham was born,
she'd jump up into my lap right behind Graham while I nursed him. That was
quite a sight!

Graham is fascinated by both our cats, and we let him pet Napoleann who is
quite old and mellow.  Kitty by now has accepted that there's a newcomer
and she seems content with the limited attention she now gets from me.

Napolean seems less affected.  

Although I've always been an animal lover, I worry less about the animals
and their feelings than I used to.  With 2 kids (8 mos and 9 yrs), the cats
seem more of a pain than they used to.  Guess I'm getting old and
hardened...

~C

    I had 2 cats when my son was born and they never minded him until he
    started to crawl and walk.  They they felt that he was taking over
    their teritroy and they started to pee in one corner of my dining room. 
    So we got rid of them both and are planning on getting another soon
    since my son is now 2 and knows how to treat an animal.  
    
    But when Alex was born like in .1 my calico was more courious than my
    tiger cat.  My calico would sleep in Alex's crib and cradell when he
    wasn't in there and when you put him on the floor to play she would be
    right there to follow him around. 
    
    I'm not telling you to get rid of you cat just watch them when your
    baby starts to crawl/walk.  Sicne they have had the run of the house
    for so long I hope nothing like what happend to me happens to you.
    
    good luck.
    Liz

    We had two cats (both about six years old) when we had our first child.
    They were a bit jealous, but we've never had trouble (they don't
    scratch him and we keep him from hurting them).  The second child was
    a bit easier for them, but now they are quiet serious about wanting
    their time with us in the late evening, when both kids are asleep.
    
    We used the recommended method of bringing in a second child: Mommy
    goes in first alone and greets the cats/first child; Daddy brings in
    the new addition as though it were just some groceries...
    
    		-John Bishop

    My experience resembles that of #4. Our two cats didn't mind
    the baby at all (sniffed her, curled up with her, etc.) until
    she got to the crawling stage (8 months). At that point both
    cats started peeing in her room, then in her carriage. Luckily
    my mother was able to take them. The dog has done fine, however.
    During mealtimes he hangs out under the high chair, of course. He is 
    amazingly tolerant of Morgen's antics - they even play ball together.
    
    Alice

    I remember a biiiiig discussion on cats/babies in one of the other 
    versions....
    
    Anyway, if your cat is a lap cat, *I* believe the baby is no surprise
    to the cat.  My kitty, who was 9 years old at the time and is now
    pushing 16, was the recipient of many vigorous kicks while languishing
    on what was left of my lap  |-)  ... all she did was flatten one ear in
    annoyance, but I know she knew what was going on.  And she didn't end
    up jealous of the baby; she was curious but very wary, only approaching
    to within maybe 2 feet of her cradle (though she'd come for a closer
    peek if I was on the couch *holding* the baby).
    
    The punitive-peeing behavior is always reserved for when I don't tidy
    up the litter box quick enough!
    
    Leslie 

    We also has a similar experience to .4 & .6.  We had 2 purebred
    Hymilayins.  They were very furry cats.  At first, when we first
    brought Russell home, everything was fine.  But as the baby got older,
    and demanded more of our time, we had less to give them.  Fuzzles, the
    older cat not only pissed on the rug, but also pooped.  We also had
    hairball problems since neither of us had time to brush them any more. 
    I got tired of not being able to put the baby down without checking for
    the latest "presents", so we gave them away.  Someday we will probably
    get another cat, or maybe a dog, but not until any kids we have are old
    enough to help out with the care of said animal.
    
    You might want to check out the Feline notes file (sorry, I don't
    remember where it is).  I'm sure they've delt with this topic before.
    
    marianne

    We did the same as note .5, then let the kitties & dog sniff for
    themselves.  I'm a real animal lover as well (especially cats) & try
    hard to give my kitties at least 15 minutes a day of undivided
    attention (usually at night when my 8 month old goes to bed or during
    the evening when my husband is tending to Heidi).  They are doing very
    well.  Heidi's not crawling yet, but I don't foresee a problem.  My
    calico (as well) is very interested in Heidi & has been all along. 
    Whenever Heidi cries she right there from where ever she is in the
    house.  Mitty (calico) loves her crib & Willy loves her changing table
    but I don't let them stay in with her.  When she gets older I won't
    mind them sleeping w/ her, but for now I'd rather they didn't.
    
    Good luck w/ your new baby & don't forget to give your current babies
    lots of attention along the way.
    
    Sonia 

We had 3 cats when Evan was born.  We only have 1 of them now (and 2 others).
Mostly, they kept away from the baby.  However, one of the cats was mean
to him.  Luckily, I witnessed the occasions, so I knew it was not at all
the fault of the baby.  One day Evan crawled under a kitchen chair that 
the cat was on; Evan didn't even know the cat was up there.  The cat looked
down, then reached down and scratched the baby right across the eye.
Luckily it missed the eyeball itself, but the claw marks were both below and
above the eye.  I was ready to give up the cat then, but someone suggested
declawing him, so we did.  Then the cat bit the baby, also unprovoked.
It was actually the second time the cat had done so, neither time breaking the
skin.  The first time I had been nursing, and both of my hands were totally
occupied, so I was just sitting there when the cat came up on my lap and
slowly tried to get his mouth big enough to bite the baby's head.  I couldn't
figure out what he was doing at first, and was mostly in shock.  If I had
really understood, I think we would have disappeared the cat a lot sooner.

The other cats were okay.  Sasha just kept clear of Evan, but now *occasionally*
will sleep with him (Evan is 4 now).  Deborah also kept clear of the baby.
However, she started acting up by peeing on the carpet and when we found
no physical reason for it, we gave her away, too (it still amazes me that 
someone would take her, knowing that).  I don't know that it was or wasn't
related to having a child.  I think Deborah was jealous of anyone, and always
liked being an only cat (no other pets, no kids).

I *know* I don't give the cats nearly as much attention as I used to, but that
is more related to my allergies becoming more severe than it is to having a 
child.  I think you can *help* your pets adjust better by giving them lots
of attention after the baby comes home, but I also think that more depends
on the individual personality of your cat than anything.

Good luck!

     Carol

    My 3 cats were 8 years old when Jackie was born.  Barney and Gonezo
    were pretty much unaffected by her (mostly afraid of her), but Benjamin
    disappeared for 36 hours.  I don't know if he was locked up in a garage
    somewhere, or whether he was rebelling to the new baby.  Once he got
    home and I reassured him that he was still my "other" baby, he was
    fine after that.  He would sit on my lap while I fed or nursed her and
    would either wake me up when she cried, or go towards where she was
    crying and come back to me.  Jackie is now 21 months old and all cats
    are pretty much buddies with her now.  Gonezo usually sleeps with her
    and on occassion Ben does also.
    
    For more info on cats and babies, you might also want to check out the
    Feline notes file (MUTTON::FELINE).
    
    Mary

    
    My cat was 2 years old when Martin was born.  At first he would have a
    sniff and then run a mile, and is now unfortunately chased and
    antagonised by Martin, so I make the special effort to give Suki a lot
    of loving when Martin has gone to bed.  Although Suki gets alot of
    stick from Martin, one thing my childminder has told me is that Suki
    sits outside her door when Martin is inside and they talk to eachother
    through the glass for hours.  So the cat does have a protective nature
    towards Martin, but Martin doesn't appreciate this at the moment.  Even
    with his tail being pulled etc etc he has never run off, and still
    hangs around the house as much as he did before.
    
    Barbara
    

    
    Just one note of caution about babies and cats....keep them out
    of the crib.   When my husband was a baby, their cat climbed in the 
    crib looking for a place to sleep, and decided Steve's "face" was a 
    nice bed, and almost suffocated him.  When they are real little, they
    can't push the cat away...
    
    I miss having cats, we gave them up when we moved into our home a year
    ago due to my allergies. But I do admit, its AMAZING how much better my
    allergy problems are now.  I never realised they bothered me THAT much, 
    but I was wrong. I only act up now when its "the season" or I've got a 
    cold...  (used to go through BOXES of tissues!)
    
    Chris
    

    
    I have had my current cat for 6 years. After my dughter was born 18
    months ago, he just kept to himself alot. Before she came, he would
    cuddle with me all the time.  He was fine aroungd the baby though. He
    would sniff her when she was in her infant seat, and just walk away.
    Now, Danielle chases him around the house and trys to pull his tail,
    but he escapes.  We've never had any problems with him getting along
    with the baby. 
    
    Sandy

    I have a question regarding cats and babies.  When my cousin had her
    first child, my grandmother stayed with her for a while to help her
    out.  My cousin had two cats at the time and my grandmother was
    paranoid about having the cats in the house with the baby.  She
    said that the cat would suck the babys breathe away.  She told me that
    cats smell the milk on a babys breath and that is what makes them do
    it.  She said it can kill a baby.  
    
    I have never understood how the heck that could happen.  Is this
    a real possibility, or is it something that is an old wives tale? 
    
    She also told me a cousin of hers died as an infant when a cat climbed
    in the crib and layed on his face and suffocated him.  He was only 3
    weeks old.
    
    I think she is scared of a cat around a baby for that reason more then
    anything else.
    
    She usually likes cats, but feels they don't mix with babies.
    
    Anyway, I was wondering if someone could clarify what she is talking
    about. Is there any validity to it?
    
    

Cats "sucking the breath away" is a myth.

Cats sleeping too close to the baby's face, though, I think really could be
dangerous until the baby can push away the cat or push themselves away.
We always were careful to keep the cats out of the crib (which was tough,
because although the cats didn't want to be around the *baby*, they wanted
to be in the crib!!!).

       Carol

    We never had a real problem with the cat in the crib.  It was as if she
    knew that wasn't a place for her.  She literaly jumped in once, before
    he was born, settled down into the afghan.  I just picked her up and
    put her back on the floor.  She never jumped into the crib again-with
    or without the baby in it.
    
    We were living (cat included) with my inlaws when AJ was born.  Up
    until his birth the cat was confined to our room mostly and
    occationally we allowed her to "roam" to the other bedroom, hall and
    bath in our upstairs area.  By the time I got home from the hospital,
    AJ was kept a few days after I went home, the cat, pan and food and
    toys had been confined to the basement of the house.  She would
    absolutely howl at night, but I was forbidden (outnumbered really) to
    allow her out of the basement.  Mother inlaw made it quite clear that
    this was *her* house and we would abide by her rules or find somewhere
    else to live.  Let me tell you we couldn't get into our new home soon
    enough.  MIL said "kids and cats do not belong together".  We found out
    later that they had a cat when my husband was young.  She had it put
    down and told the kids it just ran away.  I guess it peed on the rug
    just once!
    
    By the time we got into our home AJ was about 4 months old, and between
    the cat being excited about having a whole house to roam in, and the
    kid had started moving around (creepin) the cat was more afraid of AJ. 
    Even now the older cat (we aquired another one two years ago as a
    kitten, but that's another story) is the the has a "love me on MY terms" 
    attitude.
    
    The "kitten" is hilarious, when it's bedtime he will sit outside of
    AJ's room, AJ will sneak out of bed open his door just enough to allow
    him in, he snuggles down into the quilt and tries to sleep there.  I
    usually will miss him in a few minutes and go "ruin" the scheme!  This
    one loves to sleep under the blankets if give a chance.
    
    I guess I have three kids, two of them have 4 legs!!
    Lyn

    While the "cats sucking the breath out of a baby" is a myth, we did -
    for a VERY short time have a young kitten who INSISTED on sleeping with
    my then 1 1/2 year old.  I wouldn't have minded except that the kitten
    would sprawl out directly over my sons neck!  He never actually covered
    Ryan's mouth but he would get pretty close.  For that and quite a few
    other reasons thatcat is no longer with us!
    
    My parents gave a cat away when I was born because the woman who helped
    my mother after my birth refused to continue if the cat stayed.  Too
    bad, my mom said he was a REALLY nice cat!
    
    I was fortunate that when my kids were infants the cats would only
    sleep at the bottom of the crib - never near their faces.  Now a kitten
    that we have likes to sleep on my sons pillow with her paws gently
    encircling his head!  My son loves it and he's never been scratched -
    this has been going on for almost a year (and my son is 6 - nowhere
    near an infant!).
    
    Linda

Only once, in all the cats we've had since childhood have I had a problem.  
I aquired a cat when he was quite young, and I woke up in the middle of the 
night feeling suffocated.  The cat had literally wrapped itself around my neck
much like a scarf, and gone to sleep.  I pushed him off, yes I was a little
startled by all this, but figured he had done it because I was warm and he could 
hear/feel a heartbeat (my juglulars on both sides).  It was a one time thing
only.

Lyn

    It's my understanding that cats who "wrap themselves around your neck"
    are usually the ones that were taken from their mothers at too early an
    age (i.e., before 6 weeks).  They're VERY clingy and love exposed
    (warm) skin.
    
    Leslie

    Just needed to add my reply.  For several years (8) our only baby was
    our cat Figaro... she was REALLY a surrogate baby since we experienced
    many years of infertility.  About a month before I got pregnant we
    happened to acquire a kitten.  This was a good move for us because 
    Figaro (our 8-year old cat) was so bent out of shape over the arrival 
    of Mercedes the kitten that when our daughter came along nine months 
    later she could have cared less!
    
    My biggest concern was not that my cat would adjust to having a baby
    in the house, but that my baby would be allergic to cats and I'd
    have to get rid of them!
    
      ^_^
     (>.<)
      ) ( Jeanne

    RE: last one
    
    MY biggest fear when I was pregnant with my first one was that the baby
    would be allergic to the animals and I'd have to get rid of HIM!  After
    all, I KNEW the animals - had had them for years!  OF COURSE the second
    I saw my son I KNEW I could never get rid of him!  And, part of my
    worry was justified - all three of my kids are SLIGHTLY allergy prone. 
    But they are also real animal lovers!
    
    Your note made me remember that!
    
    Linda