Conference moira::parenting_v3

Well, my experiences so far with our 19 month old have been pretty good.  I
speak German to her; my wife and the daycare center speak English (actually also
a small number of Hebrew words at daycare).  For the most part she zeros in on
the most frequently used word for something and uses it.  She understands pretty
well no matter which of the languages.  So for her, we get

	Gabel = fork
	Challah = bread
	Ballon = balloon
	Me'er (that's Messer) = knife

	I'm Daddy and the father in her favorite picture book is Vatti and her
	friend Dan's father is Aba (she doesn't know titles from names  8^{).


Most others are said in English.  We'll see what happens over time.

Dick

There is an excellent book called something like "Raising Your Child Bilingual"
I'll look it up at home tonight.  Basically the book says there is no "correct"
way to do it but however your child learns it will be a worthwhile and 
profitable experience.

We approached the problem with the following idea in mind.  I am American, 
J�rgen, my husband is German.  We live in the French speaking part of Switzer-
land.  I always spoke English to the children, my husband always spoke German 
to them, and they went to school in French.  We generally had German speaking
kinderm�dchen who also spoke German with the children.  Then, my husband and
I always speak English to each other and we both speak German with the 
kinderm�dchen.  They tend to speak French with each other.

This way they are spoken to in all three languages correctly, and they hear
adults speak all three languages and they are expected to respond in all three
languages.

In the beginning, they tended to mix everything, including, occassionally 
putting German endings on French verbs or German word order in English sentences
etc.  After a while, they straighten things out and come to associate a
language with a face.  This can be very disconcerting for guests when one of the
boys starts out talking to J�rgen in German, switches to English as he sees
me and finishes in French when he sees his brother, and all in the same 
sentence!

Markus (the younger) went through a period when he was about four where he would
only speak French but understood everything that was said to him.  It was if
he thought that everybody was tri-lingual and just chose to speak in whatever 
language was most convenient.

Dirk (now 13) was recently tested by the school psychologist who said that she
has rarely seen a child so equally fluent in all three languages.

We had an interesting New Year's Eve party this year.  There were six couples
there with a total of 15 children among us.  It was a big mixture of people
and nationalities and we were looking for a common denominator.  The one that
we came up with was that all the children were at least trilingual.  And I
don't think any set of parents used the same technique as another.

Go for it.  Your child can only win.

Cheryl

    If you are interested in previous discussions on Multi-lingual
    children, please see notes 179 and 1228 in PARENTING_V2.
    
    Carol

    My parents are both French Canadian and speak French.  Up until I was
    almost 5, I only spoke French (though understood English).  The visiting 
    nurse came to our house and told my mother I wouldn't be able to attend 
    school if I couldn't speak English.  My parents started speaking only 
    English to me and only allowed me to speak English.  Today I don't know 
    a word of French and have always been disappointed about that.  All of my 
    cousins speak both and always thought it was strange none of us (3 sis./2 
    bro's) don't speak any French.  I would love to have two languages.  My
    boyfriend is Italian and has always been disappointed his parents never
    taught him either.  In the long run I think your kids will appreciate
    knowing two languages.  Now is the right time for them to learn also. 
    It will become natural to them.
    
    Marie

    
    Considering where you are (Kanata) your child will almost inevitably
    have to learn some of both languages. I live in a community that has
    a unique program (at least in terms of the US and certainly in terms
    of Massachusetts). We run an immersion program in French in our public
    schools. My daughter (now in 3rd grade) has been taught in French since
    Kindergarten. I don't mean that she has been taught French but that her
    entire school day has been in French. Neither my wife nor I speak 
    French (although my daughter is attempting to teach us some). We have
    been running this program for 13 years now. Our senior class recently
    took the SAT exam for French and the median score was in the high
    500's. The only concern of parent's has been with the younger child's
    ability to learn the finer points of English as well. They
    traditionally are behind their peers somewhat at the 2nd grade level
    but most have caught up by 4th grade and all score equally as well as
    their peers by 6th grade. We teach the entire day in French from K
    through 2nd grade. From 3rd through 5th grade they get half French
    and half English. From 6th grade on they receive both French Language
    and some other curriculum area in French (IE an elective course in
    French culture might be taught in French). I only wish more public
    schools offered children the opportunity to become bilingual and that
    we could afford to offer more languages. (FWIW - we also have a Spanish
    immersion program that currently starts at a higher grade level).
    
    

    Where is this French immersion program?  

    My sister inlaw is Philipino, my brother inlaw (obviously) is from the
    U.S., she has raised both of her children more or less biligual.  Since
    my Brother inlaw is in the U.S. Navy he has been away from home for
    extended periods, and my sister inlaw tends to speak her native tongue
    more frequently than English.  She has also aquired many Phillipine
    friends on the Naval base, who are married to naval officers, and of
    course when the women get together the Philipine language is most often
    spoken.  She did mention that English is taught and spoken more often
    than not in the schools of the Philipines, her English is therefore
    *excellent*.
    
    An interesting incident, when her son was a toddler and was visiting my
    inlaws, I picked him up gave him a big hug and kiss, then he said
    something to me that I attributed to baby talk.  My brother inlaw
    informed me that I had probably been told to put him down, and go take a
    hike in Phillipino!  We, as a family, initally had concerns that the
    children would learn enough English to enter the school system, but
    that realy hasn't been an issue.  Their mother takes the time to work
    with the daughter (son won't be in kindegarten until this Sept).
    
    Lyn
    
    

We are also raising our daughter bilingual.  Kristine is eighteen months
old and she understands almost everything that we tell her in English or
Portuguese.  Our caregiver is from Brazil so during the day, Kristine
speaks and hears only Portuguese and nights and weekends my husband and I
speak mainly English.  I am planning to start speaking to her only in
Portuguese since we are planing a trip to Brazil next spring and it would
be nice if Kristine was fluent (as fluent as a 22 month old can be) in
Portuguese.

We spoke to a speech specialist, and we were told that if we were going to
teach two languages, we should have one person speaking only one language 
to her so she would associate the language with a specific person.  We were
also told that Kristine could develop her speech slower since she was
learning two languages, but so far she doing a lot better than many other
kids of her age.  She can switch back and forth from one language to another
(such as naming body parts and other things.)

One interesting thing is that she uses the English word for "Daddy" and the
Portuguese word for "Mommy" even thought she knows both words in both
languages.  There are a few words that she doesn't like in one language or
the other but we hope that eventually she will like all words.

We think that it is great to teach both languages and the benefits of being
bilingual later on will compensate for any slowdown that it may cause in her
learning to speak.
      

    --Cida

    Hi Dick, Hi Mario!
    I would not be concerned about confusing your daughter, Mario, you'll
    find that they will use the word they hear more, and later on, the
    one they enjoy saying more. Later, when she finds she has to restrict
    her speaking to one language (speaking to a unilingual person) she will
    quickly sort out which word the other person understands, and thus 
    define for herself which word fits in which language. 
    Its the BEST time to teach more than one language, so don't hesitate
    to teach her which ever you want. 
    My parents spoke to one another in german when I was small, and made
    an effort to teach me english because I would need it once I entered
    the school system. In kindergarten I learned when my classmates did
    not understand a word I was using, that that was probably german
    (or more precisely, that's a word I can only use with family.) 
                              
    >>>> In the beginning, they tended to mix everything, including,
    >>>> occassionally  putting German endings on French verbs or German word
    >>>> order in English sentences etc. 
    
    we STILL do that at home! 
    
    My only regret is that now I get very little practice in german
    with my parents, and I am afraid I will be embarrassingly rusty the
    next time I visit my unilingual german relatives!
    
    Monica

    RE: .6
    
    The French immersion program I was speaking of is in Holliston,
    Massachusetts. There is also one in Milton, Massachusetts I believe.
    
    

       I think at the time that my parents were kids immigrants were
    expected to assimilate, and now there is more of an awareness of
    keeping your heritage.  Maybe that is among my generation who feel
    like we didn't get to experience it.
    	Linda

    Eric (3.5 yr) is bilingual.  He speaks both English and Chinese.
    We only speak Chinese at home.  He attends pre-school and daycare
    center, where he learns English.  His Chinese has always been
    excellent for his age and his English is average.  He started
    at a daycare center when he was 15 months old.  At that time,
    he only knew Chinese.  However, it was no problem for him to
    learn English.  By 18 months old, he could talk English in 
    sentences.  He has never been confused by two languages.  At
    very beginning, he knows that one object can have many different
    names.  Sometimes, he mixes languages, not because he is confused
    by the languages but because he doesn't know the specific 
    Chinese/English word.
    
    So far, we are very happy with his bilingual ability.  We do
    notice however, the older he gets, the more he speaks in English.
    
    Wendy

When my boys were in the public schools, they showed a reluctance to speak
English or German.  There was a lot of peer pressure to not be "different" so
all the bilingual children tended to hide their abilities.  I noticed as these
children grew older they tended to become less fluent in their second language
and had abilities more like children who were monolingual but had learned a
second language later, i.e. they had heavy French accents, used French 
constructs, borrowed words, etc.

We were fortunate in being able to move our children to the International 
School early enough where multilinguality is the norm.  We also reinforced their
English and German skills with frequent vacations to German and English 
speaking places.

I think, from our experience, one of the "tricks" is to make conversation in
multiple languages absolutely ordinary.  The children shouldn't be singled out
as being different, you should never be amused (or at least show it :-) by the
terribly cute things they say, never say to visitors "Mark, say something in
German for Aunt Jane ..." or whatever.  Let them grow up and discover for 
themselves how lucky they are.

I remember one visit to my family in the U.S.  Markus had spent a week there 
before I arrive and his cousin had been teaching him to extend his English
counting ability to 20.  She was very smug about it and Markus obviously felt
like he was being treated like a dummy.  We were in the car and my sister
Judy said to her daughter, "Katherine, show Cheryl how you've taught Mark to
count"  Markus duitifully counted up to twenty.  I said "Very good, Katherine!
Now, Mark, do it in German."  He slowly counted to twenty in German, his 2nd
language.  Then I said, "Now in French."  He counted like a bullet until I 
stopped him somewhere around 60.  Then I said, "Now in Spanish."  He could
make it to 10.  

OK, I broke my rule above :-) but he needed something to restore his own sense 
of his ability.  At least it got him back on an equal footing with his 
cousin :-)

Cheryl