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Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

1218.0. ""Weepy" 3.75 year old" by ICS::NELSONK () Mon Nov 18 1991 09:14

    Has any other parent of an almost-3.75-year-old gone through a
    stage of "weepiness"?  I asked James three times to do something
    the other day; the third time, I raised my voice a little and
    he started to cry.  This morning, he was goofing off instead of
    helping me dress him, and when I spoke to him, he started to cry
    again.  He has one bout of the weepies almost every day.  What
    could be bringing this on, and have other parents experienced this?
    I did a dir/tit=crying and didn't come up with anything.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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1218.1I have a 2 yr old like thisASABET::TRUMPOLTLiz Trumpolt - ML05-4 - 223-7153Mon Nov 18 1991 10:1610
    I am going through the same thing with my son Alexander.  Alex is only
    2 years old, but lately everytime I raise my voice a little he starts
    to cry and runs to his Daddy.  He does this about once or twice a day. 
    Nothing has changed in Alex's daycare or other environments (home,
    etc). But usually its Daddy who raises his voice at Alex and not Mommy,
    and lately it's been me who has to raise my voice to make him stop
    doing something that I've told him not to do.
    
    Liz
    
1218.2NEWPRT::NEWELL_JOJodi Newell - Irvine, CaliforniaMon Nov 18 1991 12:4013
    Our Michael is 4 years, 2 months and he is currently doing the same
    thing.  Yesterday for example, he was goofing around and he
    stepped on our daughter's sore toe.  I asked Michael to apologize
    for stepping on Amber's toe and he fell down on the floor and wept.
    
    I think he may have felt he was out of control and just couldn't
    handle it.  We are going through a tough time with him and his
    emotions and lack of control over appropriate language.  He is using 
    a lot of bad language at school and that has had him in the dog house 
    for a couple of weeks, adding to the stress.   
    
    And this too shall pass...
    Jodi-
1218.3Who's this week's hero?MCIS5::TRIPPTue Nov 19 1991 12:5311
    Just an observation here.  Usually when this thing happens it's because
    Dad has just yelled, said no etc.  In our house Dad is the end-all,
    be-all, the Hero!  And when dad does any disciplining it's like the
    whole world has shattered.  (Mom in our house is the meany, and primary
    discipliner)
    
    Next week mom will be hero and dad will be chopped liver!
    
    Could this be the case with the kids here?
    
    Lyn
1218.4remember this 12 years from now!HAZMAT::WEIERPatty, DTN 381-0877Mon Nov 25 1991 23:2321
    I remember this from Jason .... it seems to me that I read somewhere
    that they are feeling extremely bad about disappointing you, and that
    they really didn't HEAR you the first 40 bazillion times you told them
    to {whatever}, and all they hear is that you're yelling at them, and
    all they want to do is make you happy!
    
    How's that for a guilt trip??  Anyway, we made especially sure we had
    his attention and had gotten the message through before raising our
    voices, and ALSO WARNED him that we were starting to get upset, which 
    tended to bring them back into this galaxy.
    
    Plus, it's pretty stressful being 3 ..... try an extra hug just for the
    heck of it!!  Seems to me that being 3 (going from babyhood to
    childhood) is a lot like a teenager (going from childhood to
    adulthood), and the actions and reactions aren't that different -
    complete with obstinance, temper tantrums, holding on, letting go and
    general confusion .......
    
    sigh.
    
    Hugs and lots of deep breaths!