Conference moira::parenting_v3

    
    .0
    
    Your enthusiasm is refreshing, and no, you can't love a baby too much !
    Best of luck.
    

    Well, it's been six and a half years since my first "baby" and I have
    seen my love for him grow...unfortunately (in some ways) I've seen him
    grow, too.  They get big fast and every day is a new adventure.  ENJOY
    every moment you have no matter how difficult the tough times are when
    you are going thru them (I hardly remember earaches, colic, gas, and
    smelly diapers)!
    
    -sandy
    

    It has been only 16 months since my baby was born, and I can't express
    how happy I was when pregnant (even morning sickness didn't phase me). 
    Rarely do I run into pregnant women (especially with only eight weeks
    to go) that aren't complaining.  I had toxemia and had partial bed rest
    toward the end, and never even thought negative.  My only thoughts were
    that they baby was one day closer!  People thought I was flipping out
    and I got angry when people would talk negative about my being
    bedridden (I could only feel her move more often, and be able to
    relax).
    
    You will see yourself grow quite a bit in the next couple of months,
    if you are anything like me, and the movement will be tremendously more
    evident and more fun (I saw a foot come across a couple of times, and
    elbows/hands too)!
    
    Enjoy!
    
    How do you know its a boy?  Ultrasound?  Guess?
    
    I KNEW I was having a boy, and even decorated the nursery slighly more
    boyish, even though I asked not to know when my ultrasounds was done! 
    After a C-section, the doctor said that "you have a beautiful little
    girl," and I thought "who else is in this operating room with me!"  I
    was serious too!  Until he said "JOLENE, did you hear me!"  
    
    Best of luck!  Enjoy the last few weeks!
    
    Jolene  :)

    I thinks it's wonderful that you are so happy, and let me tell you
    something. When you first see that little baby, you are going to
    feel an even bigger surge of love, that you never thought was 
    possible. Congratulations, and having a little one is the most
    wonderful thing in the world. (Mine is 14 months, and the second
    one is due May 26th.)
    
    Stay happy, it's the best thing for you and the baby, and enjoy him
    when he arrives. They do grow fast!!!!
    
    Sheila
    

    
    Congratulations!  My little girl is 7 months old and she is the best
    thing that could have ever happened to me.  I enjoy seeing her grow
    everyday.  I can't believe it has been that long.  I remember when the
    doctor asked me if we had any names picked out and I said yes (this was
    while I was delivering) Rebecca for a girl and Mark Jr. for a boy.
    When she came out he said "YOU HAVE A REBECCA"! All I could do was
    cry!!!  My husband cried too!!!!  Like the note said before me they
    grow so quickly.  She is already trying so hard to push her self up
    to walk.
    
    ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    
    
    
    

    
    Well, it has been almost 18 years since my first baby was born and I
    can still look at him with wonder and amazement that at one time he was
    just this tiny little baby inside me. The love I felt then was so
    intense and has only increased with time. I remember a girlfiend
    telling me that if nothing else he would sure know that his momma loved
    him cause that's all I did was tell him "I love you"! The first time he
    said it back to me on his own with no prompting was when he was 23
    months old on Easter Sunday in "76" while I was dressing him. I hugged
    him and started crying. My mother said I was silly but it just thrilled
    me so much. I also have a daughter who 16+ and the thrill was repeated
    with her. I would have had loads of kids if God had blessed me with
    them. But he knew what the future holds and knew what I could handle.
    But even with what I know (long story involving teen age daughters) and
    the pain kids can bring, I would do it again. Good luck and may God
    bless you all.
    
    
    Trudy
    
    PS ditto what others have said; enjoy each and every day,refrain from
    saying I can't wait till he walks, talks, etc. It happens *MUCH* too
    soon.

    
    
    First of all, congratulations on the upcoming, special event!
    I was thinking when I was ready your note, "Wow, she has 8 weeks
    to go, that doesn't seem too far away at all, I wonder how long
    I have to go?"  I figured out that I had 14 weeks to go!  Reality
    is definately setting in.  This is my first too and I can't wait.
    The first thing i'll do is count the fingers and toes and then
    ask if it's a boy or girl.  I had an ultrasound but it was too
    early to tell.  Anyhow, I *love* surprises and guessing wether
    it's a girl or boy.  Sometimes, the baby is so hyper in my stomach
    that I think, "No way is this a girl, this baby is way too hyper".
    Only time will tell.
    
    Best of luck to you!
    Chris

    Re:7 Chris,
    
    I remember when I delivered my 1st in Sept. of last year. I said the
    same thing, the first thing I'm going to do is count it's fingers and
    toes! Ha, what a laugh, I was so wrapped up in what was going on around
    me that I forgot to ask what gender the baby was for at least 10
    minutes!! The doctor says to me(as he was doing his finishing touches)
    "gee, don't you want to know what you have?" My husband laughed so
    hard.!! I guess after a 20 hr labor(ugh)your so disoriented that you
    forget what your there for!! (just joking,believe me I knew why I was
    there)
    
    Congrats to you all and good luck, the best is yet to come, the waiting
    is always the hardest part!
    
    Sandy

I understand how you feel, it took me 10 years and 4 miscarriages before
my daughter was born.  Everybody kept saying "you will just know what
to do" and they were right.  As far as I can tell my daughter does
not have any physical or mental problems (she is 2 1/2).  Since we can not
have any more children my joy with my daughter does not fade.

Congratulations 

Sue





                         

    There is nothing like the love you feel for your child, before and
    after he was born.  As soon as the doctor told me I was pregnant,
    I was in love with this baby!  I thought it was going to be a girl,
    and wanted to know at my first ultrasound.  They said it was a boy,
    so I readjusted my thinking, and loved my little boy. 
    
    Then when he was finally born, (2 weeks late and 18 or so hours of
    hard labor), all I wanted to do was hold him and be with him, and they 
    wanted to stitch me up, and weigh him and measure him, and show him
    to my family etc. etc.!!   The nerve!
    
    He will be two this Christmas Eve, and the feelings remain the same!
    Only now he can return the sentiment, he says "I love you mommy," and
    sings "Mommy mommy mommy."  Of course he can also say "go away, Mommy"
    when he's feeling independent and "I'm mad, Mommy."  I taught him to
    say that to the kid at the daycare who bites him, and now he says it
    to ME!  Oh well.
    
    As I said, there is absolutely nothing like it.  You will see!
         

    	I had expected to "bond" immediately with my baby but to be totally
    truthful here, I didn't really get feelings of "intense love" until
    about the second week of his life.

    	I was busy trying to figure out how to take care of him and what I was
    supposed to do with him. I was also exhausted from the labor and didn't
    feel safe carrying him until that second week (I really thought that I
    was going to drop him because I was so weak, I had also left the
    hospital with some major anemia).

    	After all of that work during labor, when they put that bloody,
    yelling baby on my stomach, I honestly didn't know what to think. That
    it was over? That this is what my baby looked like?! That the pain was
    finally going to end? I was shaking so badly from muscle exhaustion
    that I couldn't do much of anything.

    	Of course I felt bad about this, what a horrible mother I was etc.,

    	Of course now, months later, the situation has greatly changed and
    we are really enjoying the baby (he's starting to giggle and smile).

    	My reason for entering this note? Don't be disappointed if you
    don't happen to "bond" with your baby like you see in the movies. It
    will come.
    
				Wendy

    I agree with .11.  With my first, I had a long and difficult labor
    (20 hours).  At the end, all I wanted is to get the baby out of
    my body and go to sleep.  I didn't feel any bonding until
    weeks after.  With my second, I had a short and easy labor (4 hours).
    When my daughter was born, I cann't wait to hold her and look at
    her.  I found myself enjoying her immediately.
    
    Wendy

    I think it took me a solid six months to bond with my first two. 
    By the time I got to the third one, I guess I'd had enough
    practice that I did bond with him instantly, and it's true it's an
    incredible feeling.  But now that he's two, I don't love him any
    more than I love the two who took longer to learn to love. 
    
    A difficult labor can be a factor, but so is the mother's
    personality -- and the baby's.  David was so cuddly and alert that
    it would have been hard *not* to bond with him.  Steven was only
    interested in going to sleep.  If you don't bond instantly, it
    doesn't mean you aren't a good mother, or that your relationship
    is doomed.  It only means you're normal.
    
    --bonnie

    	I agree with the last few, bonding is not like the movies, but then 
    neither is real life. 
    	What amazes me, is each day for the last 2 years I think there is
    no way I could love Shayne more, and yet each day I do......

    Your tales of taking a while to bond make me feel re-assured.
    I fear that come delivery I will be so neurotic about finally having
    the child I've worked so hard for (most mothers don't have to go
    through 16 months of pregnancy to delivery their first child !)
    That I may have some trouble loving him or her for the first little
    while -- I still sense a tinge of denial in this pregnancy.
    
    Of course the babe is fighting that: at 21 weeks the kicks are
    VERY noticable!
    
    Monica
    (getting caught up in the happy expectations despite myself!)
     

    Since we announced my pregnancy to our parents my mom has been telling
    me all the stories about her pregnancies with me and my sister and
    brother.  She told me that it took her a few weeks to feel that huge rush
    of love after our births, but once she felt it it was fierce and
    intense, and as far back as I can remember I've never doubted that she
    loved us.  I'm sure part of non-immediate bonding is due to nervousness, 
    tiredness, etc.  I'm just not going to worry about that; I worry enough 
    about it being healthy and the labor part 8^)
    
    Susan (who is also 21 weeks and wonders if there is anyone who ISN'T
           due in May)

re: last

I'M NOT!!

-sandy

    Re: last last
    
    I AM!!
    
    22 weeks this Friday!
    
    ..Lori

    So how many of us does that make? 
    
    My doctor says she has 8 women due the middle of May......
    (must have been a romantic August...... My anniversary is in August.....)
                                                                  
    8-) 
    
    Monica
    
    But for Joan, our basenoter, (who I have not seen today) the days are 
    very close!

	Me too, 19.5 weeks, due May 25th

	(my anniversary's in August, too, but that's just a coincidence!)

	Karen

    Including myself, I know 7 people due in May.  I can't believe how fast
    the time is going!
    
    Happy New Year,
    Susan

    Wasn't August the hurricane?
    
    --bonnie

    

    >>>>> Wasn't August the hurricane?
    
    Nope, not here in Ottawa ;-)
    
    -Monica

    I'm a little earlier ... due April 11.
    
    Susan

    No hurricanes here in California!
    
    Although for us they had a heck of a good party in the petri dish!!
    
    ..Lori