T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
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1190.1 | Sympathy but no advice | ICS::NELSONK | | Wed Oct 30 1991 15:41 | 7 |
| Maxine, your note describes my sister-in-law to a T. Elaine is
very hard on herself. Mike says that when she was in school,
her idea of "bombing a test" was getting a B on it. No advice
here...just sympathy...Has anything changed in her life recently
-- new day care, peer pressure from new friends, etc., etc.?
Maybe a talk with the pedi will help. I think he's going to tell
you that you just have to live with it, unfortunately.
|
1190.2 | | MCIS5::WOOLNER | Photographer is fuzzy, underdeveloped and dense | Wed Oct 30 1991 15:57 | 14 |
| Sounds like you have a budding artist with more talent than she knows
what to do with!
Alex, now 6 1/2, occasionally goes through (seemingly random)
perfectionist phases. All I've been able to think of, aside from
noting that these tantrums usually occur when she's overtired, is to
remind her of something specific that she has now mastered and is proud
of but had a hard time with "when she was little." She will grudgingly
admit that practice did make perfect *in that case*, though whatever
she's currently frustrated about doesn't benefit from the talk. But the
next time she tackles that activity, she seems to cut herself a little
more slack.
Leslie
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1190.3 | Over-achievers ... | CALS::JENSEN | | Fri Nov 01 1991 08:26 | 10 |
|
I read a very interesting article a few weeks back in the Boston Globe
describing children who are "over-achievers", the signs, the pros and
the cons.
Perfectionist was one of the signs.
Got to run ... just a thought.
Dottie
|
1190.4 | Ah, 4 year-olds... | DSSDEV::STEGNER | | Fri Nov 01 1991 19:10 | 13 |
| Four-year-olds tend to be bundles of emotions, and therefore very prone
to tantrums. While it's far from pleasant, I'd really try not to worry
too much. It's most likely just a phase.
When my 4 year old was at the doctor's, something pissed him off and he
went right down on the floor and threw a *classic* tantrum. Everyone
in the waiting room stared at me (What did that beast of a mother do to
that poor little boy???). My doctor looked down and said, "Yup--
that's four." I said, "You mean I have a whole YEAR of this to go
through????"
It wasn't a year, but I saw about three month's worth of tantrums...
|
1190.5 | I've been there...and it went away! | GNUVAX::MINER | Mom...I'm as happy as a shark | Mon Nov 04 1991 14:06 | 18 |
|
My now 5 1/2 year old son was identical to your description. His
perfectness was his drawing also and he took it VERY SERIOUSLY.
Advice? The only piece of advice I have is to remain a pillar of
sanity (yeah, right). Don't negate her feelings, just tell her YOU think
it's beautiful just the way it is and that you understand that it bothers
her when she doesn't do it exactly the way she intended. If she wants
you to draw a picture have her explain it carefully before you draw it.
If my son would walk me through his imaginary picture before I drew it
I had a much better shot at getting it "his way".
Ray of hope: This passes. Now his drawing is much more haphazard
mostly because there is so much he wants to draw that he's rushing...
but at least it doesn't bother him so much anymore if it's not perfect.
Good luck,
Dorothy
|